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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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BREAK TEETH ELECTRIC BOOGIE!!!
HIYA!!! I broke a tooth today and spent the morning at the emergency dentist. I also broke one of Swipe's (probably) expensive wine glasses. It's good breaking things innit? Have you ever broken anything, like a bone or your face or my mums hymen??

Alt: BAG CHAT
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:19, 194 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I broke my leg once.
How did you break your tooth? Is this a cry for help? Did she glass you? You can tell us man, we're here for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:21, Reply)
It is one that has needed attending to for a while but I'm scared of dentists, so it's my own silly fault for leaving it.
On the plus side.....ROOT CANAL to look forward to.

[STRIKETHROUGH 'C']
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)
Scared of the dentist?
Like a 5 year old girl.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)
One of the girls in our office fell over on 1st March and banged her teeth on the kerb
She still hasnt plucked up the courage to get the MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PAIN she is in every time she eats fixed
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)
I 'kerbed' my front teeth and broke them when I was 18.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)
I did mine falling off a bike aged about 9

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:33, Reply)
i have an old brown breifcase

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)
I broke a glass whilst washing it and removed a chunk from my hand

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)
There's something strangely satisfying about removing shards of glass or splinters of wood from your own flesh.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)
I broke a table in a nightclub once by sitting on it and fell, putting my hand through a pint glass.
Pulled a shard of glass out, rinsed it and carried on drinking

*wide-ons unite*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)
I broke my foot last year. Having a shower with a leg in plaster is a nuisance.
Also my nose a couple of times playing rugby.

You should break another one of her glasses - you don't want an odd number of them - unequal set.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:24, Reply)
She likes odd numbers, she has the volume on the telly set to odd numbers. I find that 'untidy'.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:25, Reply)
20 or gtf

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)
Ours goes up to 50 but I won't let the kids put it up past 6.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)
I bet she's one of these people who have the toilet paper rolling down the back of the roll. It should ALWAYS roll over the front.
Alt: I have one of these. www.amazon.co.uk/Wenger-WA-7382-14-Pillar-Notebook-Backpack/dp/B004RG25BK/ref=pd_sim_computers_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1PWR4E56QVJTHT31C2E1
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)
I don't care enough about the toilet paper thing to notice, but it looks neater at the back.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:29, Reply)
If I'm in someone's house and it is the wrong way around, I have to correct it.
I can't help myself.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Which is correct?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Battered is correct.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)
Chinny reckon

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:33, Reply)
I know, it didn't seem right typing it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)
Oi!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)
The correct answer is over the front unless you have cats or children under 3

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)
Unless you have a spastic retard for a kid, putting the loo roll the wrong way round doesn't stop them pulling it.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)
Cornwall.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)
Also, give your children some boundaries.
It doesn't matter which way it hangs if they know not to touch it.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:20, Reply)
I'd rather they wiped their own arse thanks,

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)
No but it stops it unrolling when they spin it
as well you know
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Me too. See also: straightening pictures & mirrors in hotel rooms.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)
I like to take mirrors and pictures off the wall and write messages on the back

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)
Some cunt scraped my car bumper yesterday in the car park
So that'll need sorted. I broke a spade at the weekend (whipping)

The only bones I've broken were broken for me by 6 nice men - cheekbone and finger. Oh hang on, I broke my scaphoid bone in my wrist tripping over a dog at 3am after 16 hours out drinking
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:25, Reply)
I haven't knowingly broken a bone, but did something to the knuckle by my little finger so now it settles in a 'posho drinking tea' stylee

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)
I have never broken a bone
but my leg is held together with numerous pins and plates
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)
Why?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)
His Mrs beat him up.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)
Had an accident playing rugby when I was 11.
the result of which my bone in my right leg grew funny causing my knee to dislocate regularly. The fix was a 6 hour op to saw and pin it straight then 3 months in plaster then two years learning to walk again. The pins have to stay in forever!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:29, Reply)
Ow

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Top part of my xray
they go down to just about my ankle.


(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)
see also
www.b3ta.com/questions/blood/post217647
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)
I've got some metal in my lower spine. It will apparently withstand being cremated. So my ashes will rattle in the urn if I go that way.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)
Was it lead?
This could explain things
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)
Titanium. Fused my L4, L5 & S1 vertabrae.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)
RoboCock

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)
They take it all out.
My wife reckons the titanium in my leg is worth selling after I die and has said she wants it!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)
did they remove several vertabrae when it was put in?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)
I did ask what they would need to do to make me 6'1''.
I was told a hip replacement with 6'' artificial hip.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

" '
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)
My gran went for a hip operation
and it was just Monty standing there reading Run DMC lyrics.

Turns out it was a Hip Hop Oration.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:40, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2307210
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)
megalolz

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)
Nor have I

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:29, Reply)
Alt:

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)
I had a 'World Dance' record bag when I was at school.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)
Sweet

(I helped save b3ta! Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)
On the subject of breaking hymens...
metro.co.uk/2014/06/19/this-19th-century-sexpert-has-great-advice-if-you-dont-ever-want-to-have-sex-again-4764752/?ito=facebook

#8 is lol.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)
Oh dear, is your missus STILL refusing to put out?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:40, Reply)
I saw her norks the other day, I think.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)
Haven't you met Dr L.D. Smythers?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)
I broke my foot while running home after some heavy drinking, I left it for a week so I could attend my god sons christening then went to Hospital that evening.
6 weeks in Plaster.

Then, when it healed I was doing jogging / running to get the strength back in my leg every evening, until I slipped on something while sprinting to the pub to catch last orders, landed with by full body weight on my shoulder and left it sitting about an inch lower than it previously had been.

Eight weeks in a sling.

I gave up running, but carried on drinking.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)
I was running along the beach last night
That is fucking HARD work
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)
I used to use a route with three ridiculously steep hills, each of them I'd go up, gentle job down a lighter incline and onto the next.
I actually miss having a reasonable level of fitness.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:45, Reply)
I've broken both arms - at different times - when I was a kid
I am also currently nursing a broken finger, which I managed whilst playing cricket. Not an enormous achievement you'd think, but quite special of me considering I was wearing enormous fucking wicket-keeping gloves at the time.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:47, Reply)
I saw my mates chin split open via a cricket ball, I'd sooner have the broken finger

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:52, Reply)
I saw one of our Aussie pros top edge a sweep shot and break his own nose. Messy.
I've also seen a spectator, sitting minding her own business in her back garden, take a ball full on the head. She got a week in hospital for her trouble.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)
I saw a 'bacon and egg' blazer wearer at Lord's try to catch the ball and take it in the face. LOL!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)
Hahahahaha.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Oh lovely. I hope it's on YouTube.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)
There was one at a test there I saw on the highlights which was very similar, this was a county game though

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)
Shame

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)
My mate did that on our first ever cricket PE lesson
Hand outstretched, ball lands on hand, rolls along arm, straight into cheek.

FLAT OUT
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)
Once when we were fielding, their number 11 came out to bat - who had clearly never played cricket before in his life.
Within about 2 minutes he took a delivery right in the spuds. He folded like a sheet of paper, collapsing to the ground, wimpering. Clearly no one had instructed him to wear a box.

As we were all crowded round him, thanking Christ it wasn't us, one of our lads shouted for someone to bring out a box.

In amongst the sobbing, the poor lad could be heard tersely uttering "bit fucking late for that now, isn't it? Cunts."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)
A six hit into the crowd at Canterbury hit a pregnant woman in the stomach. That wasn't as 'lol'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Nasty.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)
She was fine, but it was a 'who's gonna catch it?' exciting moment followed by an 'ooooh' followed by complete silence.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Was she not fucking looking?
Catch the bloody thing woman, FFS.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:06, Reply)
Probably too busy looking sweaty and fat and leaning back with her hands on her back like they do

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:08, Reply)
Lazy cow. Put the fucking knitting down for a minute love.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Broke my arm falling off my bike cycling no-handed whilst standing up.
Broke my ankle slipping off a kerb pissed.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:49, Reply)
I've broken many bones
Not all of them mine
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:50, Reply)
^internet hardman
^internet hardman bollockhead
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:51, Reply)
Ex Rugby player

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Alright steady on, no need for insults

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)
Tib and fib, wrist, ribs twice
and nose.Four out of five, alcohol related.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:50, Reply)
I diagnose osteogenesis imperfecta

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:53, Reply)
I broke my wrist skateboarding once.
Thing is, I was quite good at skateboarding - I could "get air" and "ollie" and do "handplants" and everything, but when I broke my wrist I was trundling along at

EDIT: God knows what happened there - was trundling along at less than 1mph, and hit a tiny pebble, which sent me flying arse over tit.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:50, Reply)
200mph, high on drugs and had to jump off to avoid an oncoming juggernaut?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:57, Reply)
the Grand Canyon?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)
Broke my leg when I was a baby by sliding down the stairs
Broke my funny bone by falling out of a tree on my Dad's 50th.
Broke my foot whilst running for the bus.
Broke my knuckle by punching a stone lamppost whilst drunk.
Broke my arm by going over handlebars at a fair speed.

Basically, I'm a threat to myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:58, Reply)
I think I must have strong bones or something, because of the high amount of times I should have broken something but didn't

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)
STRON.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)
this^
I must bounce well
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)
When I was a yout' I used to smoke cali weed in a rizla.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)
No you didn't.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)
You're right.
It was a chalwa.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Indian leg spinner Piyush Chawla? AS IF! MORE LIES.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)
What a load of Piyush

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)
I once broke my finger in a fight over bottle of poppers.
I hate the dentist. I went to one s a kid who gave me more fillings than necessary, according to my Dad.

alt. I teabagged ym or suttin'
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)
In Soviet Britain
my mum teabags you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)
cor!
Double dip?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)
lols for popper fights

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)
It's Geordiejay Gold! Liquid Gold!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)
I once almost ended up drinking some poppers as someone knocked the bottle when I was partaking
in MASSIVEBLOATYHEAD
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)
I wonder what would happen if you did drink it?
MONTY!!!???
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)
Based on the tingle on my lips, not good

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:13, Reply)
corrosive.
tastes like licking a battery
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)
I had a friend who advocated soaking cigarettes in poppers and then smoking them
He was from north Wales though
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:11, Reply)
A friend of mine smokes coke in hand rolled cigarettes. I have yet to ascertain if this 'does' anything.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)
Tried speed in a rolly
NOT GOOD
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)
Speed's never good though is it.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Although you did set your 5K pb.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)
ha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)
I would guess that it's a fairly efficient way of wasting lots of money

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)
He said he likes the taste. Weird innit?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)
Maybe his dealer cuts it with something good.
the one I used to have cut it with sherbert amongst other things. Which was nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:22, Reply)
Wouldn't sherbert be horrific to snort?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)
It is, so I cut mine with cocaine

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)
It would, but not the in the minute quantities that he put in it.
If it was overdone, when rubbed on the gums it was joyous. The guy he got it from had already cut it with white plaster and cornflour, so it needed something to liven it up again. People who snorted it just assumed that the 'burning tingling sensation' meant it was good shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Cunt wandered off with them after having a sniff in a busy discotheque
I managed to get a finger down the back of his t-shirt and yanked him back.
fight ensued.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)
So many strikethroughs.
So little time.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)
haha! this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)
I just arranged for my wife to have her favourite flowers delivered to her work place tomorrow
and I haven't even done anything wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:42, Reply)
^ whipped

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Nah
I'm just hoping for a blowie of someone other than swipe for a change
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:46, Reply)
fag

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:45, Reply)
The flowers remind me of your missus

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:52, Reply)
ha ha are they orange??? ha ha

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Maybe

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)
WHO IS SHE? COME ON I KNOW YOU'RE SEEING SOMEONE ELSE

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Actually its a test
I've left the card blank. If she doesn't bring them home I'll know shes fucking someone else.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Nice move.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:52, Reply)
hahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)
I've just texted her to let her know they weren't from me or the rest of the team

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)
You think you're the only team/group/club shes fucking?
Hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)
I've broadcast it on BBC world service to make sure the message gets out to everyone who's fucking her.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:02, Reply)
She's either going to let you do her up the arse
or suspect that you're cheating.

Good luck.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:46, Reply)
Either way I win right?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Anal or peace and quiet.
You're fucking on a roll there pal!
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Anal was the first thing that stopped after our wedding day
followed closely by everything else.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)
What a bummer

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Don't you have two kids?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:17, Reply)
He's not going to bum them, you filthy nonce

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:18, Reply)
I meant... oh you got me.

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:22, Reply)
This might be the best thing I've ever read.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/teen-loses-finger-at-croydon-rave-continues-dancing-because-the-bass-was-hard-9546200.html
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:51, Reply)
Jesus fucking wept.
What an absolute bellend.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)
I'll be honest, I don't understand a word of the lad's account of what happened.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)
He lost a finger and kept on skankin'

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)
fair play, we've all skanked it out when we should have been a little more sensible.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Well he had paid a whole tenner.
What was he going to do?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:58, Reply)
£9 next time

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:59, Reply)
oh lol
my friend sent me this earlier on.

i had something more interesting to say, but thought better of it.

as you were.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:06, Reply)
All he could do was skank on and enjoy it

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 15:59, Reply)
All night rave for the price of a salad?
Bargain!
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:08, Reply)
i'd rather have the salad right now
all i've had since yesterday evening is a kitkat. and not even a good one. a 2 finger shit one.

and NO. i did NOT eat it with a fork.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:12, Reply)
Shit flavour? FFS Swipey, that's a new low, even for you.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:15, Reply)
It's the viscous liquids with a fork that concerns me.
But why the fuck haven't you eaten?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:22, Reply)
because i got into work and the phone was ringing
and it hasn't stopped ringing since, people coming in to ask questions, long meeting with new client, been asked to draft 2 articles for legal mags, which was flattering but also takes up hours, so researching those, blah blah blah.

i has an itsu rice pot now though.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:38, Reply)
That's what secretaries are for.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:40, Reply)
and trainees
i'm doing it wrong
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:41, Reply)
Eating?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:41, Reply)
I have met a few that could do with a good munch

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:53, Reply)
Aw, I wanted an owl :(
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27926420
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:10, Reply)
Owls are my favourite kind of bird.
Aside from women and that, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:24, Reply)
That would be a right hoot!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:35, Reply)
i'm clumsy, I often damage things
but I've not broken a bone. Seems like only a matter of time

alt: I broke a bag for life, now I feel guilty because I threw it away rather than take it to the vets
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:20, Reply)
Alright 'Luka'.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:22, Reply)
i don't understand this

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:25, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:28, Reply)
WHAT DO THE VETS DO WITH A BAG FOR LIFE?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:38, Reply)
Puppy disposal.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:41, Reply)
:(
I hope it's bio degradeable
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:42, Reply)

o degradeable sexual
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 16:53, Reply)

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