How to seduce a b3tan?
Imagine you are visiting the town of a b3tan of your choice. How would you seduce them without much time, say a three day visit?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:56, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would print off todays popular page and say, look I've got 4/5 of the most popular posts on offtopic

Then I'd point to my penis and wink
(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

That's all very well,
but who are you seducing?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

snugglesacks

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Still?
Move on, boy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

have you not heard about her breasts though?
you wouldn't be saying that if you knew...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

She has breasts?
I like breasts.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

find her profile
you can see them for yourself
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

This confirms that she has breasts
No searching for profiles needed.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I MISS HER SO MUCH IT HURTS

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

May she needs another mass gaz-attack
Or did that not get you as far as you had hoped?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I got a grammatically incorrect reply.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

what was it?
and did you point out her errors?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

In response to: "I like breasts, I thought you should know"
I got: "Thanks their my best feature"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Jesus Christ I would have slain her for that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

You keep your hands off my woman.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I couldn't mate with such a cretin,
super knockers or not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I never had you down...
...as a 'man-of-standards'.
No offence meant.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I have learnt the very hard way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Ah yes.
Point taken.
(Please note I resisted the peurile urge to make your comment into an innuendo.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Noted. Most impressive self-restraint.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Did she use the wrong tense
In relation to "get it on with", where she actually said "will never get it on with"?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

he can't the gravity well is too strong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Is that what they're calling it these days?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

What was the name off that bird who rode that bloke while he was on the phone to his gran (or something like that, I didn't read the whole thing)
And ended up wanking someone off, while being fingered, in that bar where everything is pitch black?

You know the one, they were talking about it on /talk yesterday, the one where loads of people anounced in reply that they're eaither frothing or nursing boners? You know, there were a good 60 people there all telling her how they're going to wank off to her story, which I believe was partly her intention I think.

I like her, she seems inteligent.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

probably KWA

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

That's the one, I like a girl who's got 'issues'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I bet she mings

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I bet she has a smelly minge

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:10, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/6747192
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Ha, just read the Dans Le Noir one
Waiter with night vision goggles?

My arse, they hire blind people as waiters.

"In the dark room, you are guided and served by our blind staff.
A magic switch between sighted and blind people happens. For once, blind people actually become your eyes."

I would know, I've been there. Well written story though, just bollocks.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I'm pleased you've been there and therefore have a full and complete working knowledge of their entire business model.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:13, Reply)

The quote was from
their website. Also, night vision goggles work from picking up and amplifying some light. They do not work in total darkness.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Infra-red?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Could be I suppose.
But, I still stand by my original point, is that they have blind waiters.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:52, Reply)

roota

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I have absolutley no idea.
Otherwise I'd have done it by now.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Ahem - am I so soon forgot?
So I log on (fnar, fnar) for the first time in weeks - and to this.
I'm thoroughly miffed and I shall flounce forewith.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I'd save a kid falling out of a tree
get really fucking good at piano, Save someone's relationship, Learn to ice sculpt, Throw cards in to a hat, learn to speak French and steal some money from a security van.
( Peej, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Ha.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

You forgot dropping the toaster in the bath.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

and the police chase

( Peej, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

And the jumping off a hight building

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Driving into a train - works for me every time.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

butter wrapped in bacon and some roofies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Isn't that how you get round guard dogs?
...oh
(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

yes, and bears

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I'd start with a set of infra red goggles.
A balaclava and a mobile phone.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

croissants
guitar
marijuana
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

A flash of minge.

( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

a flash of light
her golden pants
flew out of sight
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I'm frankly disgusted that no one has shown this any appreciation

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I only just saw it.
It's fabulous.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Mainly because it's shit

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

so's your face

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

so's your band

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

we got called amateurs the other day
best compliment we've had
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

haha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

crikey that looks like Dave Lee Travis
the hairy cornflake!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Smooth chat-up line, LIKE IT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

My other favourite is

"You don't sweat much for a fat bird!"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

It's like Leslie Phillips is here, RIGHT NOW.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Leslie never got as much twat as me!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Ding dong!

( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

That should be your sig, old bean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Sounds like a plan

farewell Metallica
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

thank god
that song has been in my head nonstop because of your fucking sig.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I'd just be handsome and not all that bothered.
They would then do all the work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

*takes notes*

( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

It's been my modus operandi my whole life.


*is single*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

One of these days a guy is going to throw themselves at me.
That's the day I will die a contented woman.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

throw themselves at Spider-man
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

similar to mine
but rather than being not bothered I smile a lot with meaningful eye contact.
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

You creepy old bender, you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Erm, I like you and all Monty
but I think we should just be friends. No hard feeling yeah?
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

It's not just the feelings that are hard, dearie
*leers*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

That's because all shirters think like you
so no one will ever make the first move.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I genuinely am not that bothered.

*cries in corner holding crumpled picture of Betty Boo*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Batty Boo more like
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

"I like this"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I've heard that about you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

that I like you being called a bender?
that's true
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

No,
that you're rather partial to a bit of the old 'Batty Boo'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

you seem to have misunderstood
it's ok, your old, drug-addled brain can't be expected to keep up.

you'll be taken out and shot before long
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

After pooh-poohing it vehemently the other day
I had a few goes on that mephedrone last night. It was OK, bit like MDMA - nothing whatsoever like cocaine, the dirty liars. I probably won't do it again, it doesn't go up the nose pleasantly at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:42, Reply)

after seeing the mess my mate's housemates were in
I really didn't fancy it. I'm happy sticking to the green I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

It's not worth the bother
I think in larger doses it would be rather unpleasant, as it was I had three fat lines and I must concede my appreciation of music was enhanced somewhat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

my mate's houesmates are nice guys
but they really go to town on the drugs. balloon after balloon of nitrous, mephedrone, spliffs, GHB (I think) all that sort of stuff, frequently.

and that's just a sunday afternoon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

The Grateful Dead were huge nitrous fans, apparently

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

This is best piece of advice on the subject since this kicked off
you should go on the BBC
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I fancy myself as a kind of better-looking Drugs Paxman

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I'd basiclly be able to quite, and do the voice perfectly, everything that Frasure has ever said.
I'd even get in a huff about what's currently going on at the Smithsonian.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

*cough*Frasier*cough*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Or 'Erasure'?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

First whisper of Erasure and up pops old Almond-features....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Shit - I meant to say...
...METALLICA ROCK!
Still prefer Soft Cell though
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Thank you darling, although I should point out, my way is the one I'm going to remember.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Gonz
we all remember your spelling :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:35, Reply)

It's a bit like waking up and looking'n'being fabulous.
Some people *points to myself* it comes natural, and then others *points to you* have to work on it !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I would grow a beard and wear a cardigan...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

That's done it.
You've set me off again.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

*gets mop*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Haha, you've got a wide-on!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

And you accuse me of being disgusting?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:32, Reply)

this is brilliant!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I am going to have get the pics of me
from when I went to a fancy dress party as The Dude. I had the hair and beard modelled for it perfectly.
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I'm going to take a leaf out of Chompy's book, he's basiclly got a panini sticker book of of punanni, and he's got all the Shinies.
In fact, that sounds like an awesome idea, like an iSpy book of different women, that you can tick off, I'd make a fortune ! Girls would HAVE to sleep with me if I pay them the going rate plus tips and surcharges !

The book would have all sorts of things in it.
- Blond/Bruinette/Redhead/Brightly-dyed.
- Preggers/friend's mum/sister/daughter
- Missing arms/legs
- Check out girl, waitriss, CEO

...etc.

I'd make a fortune.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Oh man, this deserves a lot more recongition.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Simple.
I'd go home, and yell "Right, woman, get up them stairs".

Job done.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

How to seduce a b3tan?
I'd create a meat-puppet account, say one like The Modgazzer General, and be really funny. Wait until the b3tan in question thinks you're an amusing character and start some light-hearted flirting on OT. Threaten to send a picture of your cock via gaz. Start having long conversations via gaz, then email, then by phone every day for weeks. Then convince them to meet up at a neutral location for a party with mutual friends. They're now completely under your control.

Most important of all, refuse to admit that this was your plan all along from the start.
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:44, Reply)

then drug them and take them to Dunstable.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

take them to Dunstable hard

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

twice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

you forgot the "wear a freaky mask" part

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

That's his face.
I can't believe you sometimes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

*guffaws*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

not just any mask
a Corey Taylor Slipknot mask
( djtrialprice, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:59, Reply)

You forgot the bit about locking them in your car
and driving them at speed to Cambridge on a dark stormy night.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Be a hot piece of scouse ayass
Be funny and charming.
Pretend you're not a bit interested.
Make jokes about Vera Lynn.
Insist that the flirting is not working because you will never again succumb to the advances of an internet chancer.
Get your friends to invite him to their party.
Succumb to the advances of an internet chancer.
(Dressing as St Jude optional)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Dressing as St Jude?
You or him?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Me of course!
My nana saw the pics and she actually had her St Jude prayer card in her hand at the time. She said she could not tell us apart.
Jude's my homeboy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

You're so cool! :D

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Back atcha, frosty!
I reckon all the hipsters will be dressing as St Jude next season
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

You'd better believe it!
You'll be in Vogue by the end of the month! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Is St Jude a dude?
I just googled and found paintings but he looks like Matthew Kelly. Either your Nan has shite eyesight or you have an impressive beard.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:07, Reply)

My beard was fucking awesome!
Amd yes, I had a flame on my head too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Wow - that is so cool.
It would be like getting a blow-job from the transexual love-child of Brian Blessed and Arthur Brown!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:52, Reply)

I'm never doing that again.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Well...
I have field notes on this very subject. A few years ago I came to London to meet a B3tan. We pranced around The Natural History Museum, talking bollocks about dinosaurs with tiny hands, threw £5 notes around the place, talked some more bollocks, went on a bus, talked about Counting Crows, hung around in Croydon doodling, got drunk in a pub, fell asleep on a sofa (drooling)... and then ended up marrying the dood... I clearly have mad skillz when it comes to seduction! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

"I like this"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Ta!
I also had to seduce him in my home town too, which I did with the cunning use of sausage rolls, stone henge and Hovis Hill... I imagine the short skirt helped as well! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

One day I want you to show me up Hovis Hill
I will wear more sensible attire though, you little floozy!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I'll fucking show you "up Hovis Hill" you filthy minx

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Hovis Hill, Dunstable

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Ha!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Does that mean 'up the bum' in Devon?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:20, Reply)

not specifically in Devon
but it's a short leap of logic from up hovis hill to up the bum
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Seems it's already been sorted for us.
www.betaseduction.com/
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:23, Reply)

No worky

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Works for me hon.

( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Oops, it does now
Must have been my poota.
We're well cooler than that lot.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:28, Reply)

that site
freaks me out a bit
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Yes. Well creepy.
*sneakily looks down blouse*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:55, Reply)

action of an Alpha male there

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:00, Reply)

*does muscle pose*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... .HUMMMMMMMMM.......HUUUURRRRRMMMMM...... no, no, I'm HMMMM, wait a sec, hold on, HURRRRRMMM...OK, ok, I think I've got it, I'm ok.....excuse me.
*runs off to the bathroom holding hands to mouth*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

i put out on a first date

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Yeah but pretend you don't put out til the third
Then when he gets it on the first he'll feel special.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:29, Reply)

You really over-estimate us.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:54, Reply)

In my experience, "fancy a shag?" seems to work

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:35, Reply)

seems to work never works.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Well, it's worked twice!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:48, Reply)

"...and then I woke up and my pants were all sticky.
And there was a cup of tea on the side."
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Nope, I'm being honest

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Needless to say....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Surely...
...all the ladies love a doctor? Particularly if he's handsome, brave and daring, like, say a British Army field doctor? Why, with my keen intellect, comprehensive knowledge of all things medical and SAS training, the ladies would be falling at my feet! Just wait until they hear the fascinating anecdotes from my heroic trip to the North Pole, followed by me gazzing them photos of my "North Pole" and offering to take them for a ride in my Harrier Jumpjet...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Chloroform.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

"Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Brilliant, just brilliant, question
Oh how I wish I had an ounce of your genius!

"Only post when drunk" - don't know how to get a tag thingy
(BalthasarusWhodatSaintdeVinci, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 20:27, Reply)

and brilliant answers too, all noted

(BalthasarusWhodatSaintdeVinci, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 20:30, Reply)