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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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One of those days
When I'm feeling upset and I don't know if I'm overreacting or not.

Will you tell me happy or funny things, so I'm not upset anymore?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:22, 185 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You are a woman
AICMFP
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Too many letters
I can't guess what AICMFP means.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:25, Reply)

and I claim my five pounds.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

And I Claim My Five Pounds
Meaning I'm so confident in my statement that I'm demanding a prize.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I see
You can have your prize at BGB's party.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Oh, you're going to be there?
Cool, I look forward to meeting you!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Yeah!
I'm quite excited about that party now! I have the feeling it's going to be great!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Looks to be a lot of lovely people in attendance!
And TGB...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I HATE YOU SO MUCH

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:45, Reply)

The feeling is entirely mutual

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I never know if you're just joking
Or you really hate each other. It'll be interesting on the 26th
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I love TGB like the sister I never wanted

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:54, Reply)

You love me and my cupholder

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

it's waaaaay too big to be called a cupholder dear

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I was involved in similar discussions with TGB
and prior to meeting her, I wasn't entirely sure if we were joking either
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

And since meeting her
You venomously hate her.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I can't
she did that little voice at me
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:00, Reply)

*smugs*
It always works.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

But to be nice
Here's a site for you
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Awwww
Thanks. I'll be looking at it most of today :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

see also
www.zooborns.com

who knew a baby rhino could be that cute? Must have hurt like fuck coming out of his mum though
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Ooooh
There is nothing better than a lot of puppies (can I use that word for other than dogs?)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

depends
animals have weird baby names. There are cubs and puppies and kittens, but then some of them are ings or lets, like ducklings and piglets. A baby monkey is called a monkling, I find this funny. I think a baby shark is called a sharkpup :D
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I did not know that a baby monkey was called a monkling
I've got a new joke that I've yet to try out.

While describing something mention a flock of cows.
hopefully someone will say "herd"
then I would say "what?"
they'd say "herd of cows"
and to finish "of course I've fucking heard of cows"

beauty. I can't remember where I got that from. might be on here. anyone want to take credit?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Yes - me.
edit - not my joke. I just wanted to claim the credit.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Make the last sentence
"Of course I've fucking heard of cows, there's a flock of them over there"
for extra comedy value.
(TheColonel, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I think it was the Two Ronnies.
They also did the West Country farmers in a storm...

"Windy innit?"

"No mate, Thursdee."

"So am I; let's 'ave a zider."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Sharklet = calf
Rhinolet also = calf.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I prefer sharklet

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Actually... *engages tiresome pedantry*
Other mammals don't suffer nearly as much as humans do during childbirth. Because they are still quadrupedal, their pelvises are of a shape more conducive to squeezing out sprogs. That's not to say it's easy, but it's a damn site less painful and/or dangerous; as we evolved to walk upright, our pelvises obviously had to change in shape, but as a consequence it's much more difficult for women to give birth.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Still. A fucking rhino
Imagine that coming out of your minge.

yes I am implying you have a minge, you limp wristed funk-faggot
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Now implications of having a minge or being limp-wristed I can cope with
But funk? Slap bass is abhorrent. I shall not stand for this slander! I'm off to the earlier thread to get my trebuchet.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:10, Reply)

:D

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

which is why humans give birth when the baby is less developed
so the head is smaller and will fit.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

So in essence -
we should to have never taught women to walk upright?

note split infinitive for rhino-birth-related merriment.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Doggy style all the way...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I love those sloths
They're so cute!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I'm going to see this today.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=89Kz8Nxb-Bg&feature=player_embedded

It makes me smile, at least.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I can't watch youtube here
But I'll have a look later so I can get a smile too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:25, Reply)

It's cute birds with guitars.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Great, that sounds like smiley video
You should have a look at that site Labia just linked. It's very good.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

OH MAN I LOVE THAT SITE

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I just met it
And I'm in love with it already. Have you seen the sloths?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:37, Reply)

YES
/ac fucking hell I'm doing that too much

I wish I were a sloth.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:59, Reply)

It makes my lady actually cry
So it lives up to it's name.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)

NEEDS MOAR CROWS

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Is it true the Rook has five pinion feathers and the Crow has six pinions,

so the difference between them is just a matter of a pinion?
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Are we doing bird puns?
Toucan play that game.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

*terns away in disgust*

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:02, Reply)

You're robin Lampito of victory

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I'm going to stork you.
Come on bitch. Bring it. Heron now.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:04, Reply)

you're all a bunch of tits.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Owl get you for that.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I feel ostrichsized
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

just swallow that feeling

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Damn! Bittern to it. I shall have to be more swift in future.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I want Darth to get involved
so I can call him a gay flamingo dancer
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:44, Reply)

maybe you should go out raven;' with him

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Hawkay. That's quite aruff.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 20 May 2010, 12:29, Reply)

What type of cheese can be used to get a bear out of a tree?
Camenbert
come on bear
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Hahaha!
Very good. Thanks.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

What kind of cheese hides a horse?
Marscapone
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

What does a cheese say in the mirror?
Haloumi
hello me
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:26, Reply)

You fucking suck.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

So fondo you!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

You're getting a cheddar yourself.
(ahead of)
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

You're both a pair of Baby Bels
(prats)
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

What Cheese isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
(

Peej, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

beat you to it

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

No you didn't.
both 10.34 I call a draw!
(

Peej, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

curse you!
*shakes fist*
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Curse YOU!
*Shakes drips off cock*
(

Peej, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:37, Reply)

What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

How should you eat a dangerous cheese?
Caerphilly
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I hate to admit
I'm really amused by these
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I ate an entire packet of halloumi last night
Grilled to perfection.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

JEALOUS

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Go buy some
Grill it, and enjoy the salty, squeaky goodness.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

it's so good
haven't used my griddle on any yet

must remedy that!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Ooo, I have a griddle, I should have used that
Next time, Halloumi, next time!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Cheese whore

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Mmmmm... I love cheese
I'll be trying to be good and not too eat too much in Italy this weekend. But I think it's not going to work.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

what kind of cheese isn't yours?
nacho cheese
(not your cheese)
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Mindpiss!!!!!!!!!

(

Peej, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

It's my birthday
Will that do?
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Ey! Congratulations!
Are you going to celebrate your 18 (again) with a big party this weekend?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Not this weekend, end of month, no cash
Next weekend I'm in Glasgow, then the weekend after I'm starting at Stockport Beer Festival, and seeing where the weekend takes me!

Thank you!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Oh, yes, you said you might do it
I might see you in Stockport. I think we'll go on Sat afternoon.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Aye, same here

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Happy Birthday!

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Thank you!

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Happy birthday pest!

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Danke!

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

What should you do if an Elephant comes through your window?
Swim for your life!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:28, Reply)

what do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?
Wipe it off and run
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Please click 'I like this'
If you can complete the following lyric -

" Cos, that's the way , uh-huh, uh-huh ..."
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I like IT, idiot

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Thank you , moron.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

You're lucky you stopped at one line
Otherwise there would have to be a bout of face-punching unleashed towards you.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Rightly so. But I couldn't resist the lure of danger.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

This will cheer you up.
This morning I saw a man slip on a big dog poo whilst running for a bus. If that wasn't enough when he stood up it was smeared down his suit; and all the kids at the bus-stop were pointing and laughing at him.
I bet he feels worse than you do.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Oh, man!
I can't laugh at people in disgrace. I feel other people emotions too much.

On the other hand, if you were laughing, I would be feeling your emotions too and feel like laughing.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Aww I just feel bad for people
I think I empathise too much and get sympathy cringes.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:01, Reply)

But he fell in poo - it IS ok to laugh at him.
All right - imagine he was a war criminal, or a paedo, or Simon Cowell.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:05, Reply)

What a coincidence!
(But I'm not surprised anymore)

It's the same here. I can't watch those funny videos on tv or things like that, where people falls and crashes, specially kids, as I feel really bad for them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Aberracion,
I know exactly how you feel. I've been feeling like that all day too.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Then I refer you to my link!
Posted above.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Great, isn't it fantastic?
I hope you have someone to talk about it to give you an objective opinion. Everyone I know here works with him as well, and I don't want to say bad things about him to anyone.

If I could, I'd be eating chocolate all day.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:54, Reply)

it's brilliant.
I do thanks, I'm just kind of kicking myself over the whole thing. I hope it works out for you too. send me a gaz if you like love.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I'll tell you if you're being crazy or not
I'm having a calm and logical day today.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I can send you a gaz to both of you
But it's a long, and probably boring, story.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I'm at work
so I'm pretty sure it's less boring than that. Go ahead, I'll put on my Jeremy Kyle judging hat
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

that's fine, I'm sure it's not that boring.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)

My bash is going to be ace for the following reasons.
1. I can get really drunk because I'm at home and I don't mind being sick at home.

2. The Belmers are coming.

3. Aberracion is making some tapas for us.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Ey! I'm looking forward to it!!
I'm going to try to make Crazy Chips, but I don't promise they'll be good, as it'll be the first time I make them :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

If I'm still allowed
It's going to be genius!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:09, Reply)

looking forward to this
I should really find out if my sleeping bag is still usable.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

It's going to be freakin' sweet!
And I love tapas :D
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Will you hold my hair back as I throw up?

(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I'm going to see if Applebite will help me head up a Manchester convoy
and if so I shall bring cakes.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

OMG! That will be ace.
It's going to be a tight squeeze though : )
(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:16, Reply)

That's what she said.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:21, Reply)

that is literally what she said.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Yeah but I made it sexy like.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:40, Reply)

There's several of us coming from Manchester way!

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

awesome.
I think I saw Colonel Santiago suggest getting a collective train and starting the festivities early. I love train drinking, it's such a bad idea.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Aye, Bearpookie said the same!
Should be a good un!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Yes
Although the Colonel can't make it anymore, I still think it's a good idea. 30min from Victoria. £6.5
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:53, Reply)

do we all need to make stuff?
I can bring meatballs and sauce to be warmed up? Also if anyone form london / cambridge ish way requires a lift I have a spare seat
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Yeah! that would be great.
Put it's not compulsary to bring food.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I'm not any kind of cook
so I'll just bring large quantities of alcohol.

I hope that's okay.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Perfect!

(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Oki
i'll whip something up
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:41, Reply)

How about these?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:11, Reply)

awwww

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

There were chocolates too...
...but I got peckish.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

When I first started seeing Wiggy
we met four days before my birthday. I wasn't expecting to get anything from him and on the day I didn't. However, a week later, I got a mangled, half dead bunch of roses with a deflated balloon attached and a squashed box of chocolates in a decaying box that had loads of that tape around that says "sorry, your package was damaged!"
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

hahaha

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Smooth git

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

*Brushes imaginary dust from smoking jacket*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Aw! They're lovely!
Thank you!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I get that
woke up gloomy this morning, have been at work for coming up to 3 hours and spoken about 10 words.

I can put on a very good "i'm really not in the mood for this shit today, leave me alone" face when required
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I said I'm coming down with a cold
That explains redish eyes and bloked nose.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

said I'm coming ~~down with a cold~~

That explains redish eyes and bloked nose.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Ha!
Yep, and why I need to go to the toilet every 5 min.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

oh thats terrible
probably best to knock today on the head, go home and curl up on the sofa with a blanket, chocolate and your favourite films / books
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:42, Reply)

David Cameron
has made Spaniards illegal and all of you have to assemble in central Manchester at noon today to be shot.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Haha!

(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Thanks for letting me kno
I would have missed it otherwise. I'll be there on time. Do you know who's shooting?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I don't think it matters who.
You'll probably be blindfolded.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Yeah, but I'd like to know who's the lucky one

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Probably Monty.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Right, rather than sitting about being miserable, what Aberracion needs to do is come up with an appropriate Spanish phrase for me.

We're going to Santa Susanna in Spain next week and are planning to take the train to Barcelona one day. Everyone we've mentioned this to has immediately said that we need to be very wary of pick-pockets in Barcelona. I thought I would counter this by leaving an old empty wallet in my back pocket as a decoy. Then it struck me that I should put a note to the pick-pocket in it. What should I put?
(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Búscate un trabajo y que te folle un pez

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Something to do with fish?

(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Look here, can everyone stop posting what I'm about the post in the (ridiculously long) time it takes me to formulate and type what I want to say.
Bah!
(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Eh!

(

girlinthehole, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

- I was just typing that too!

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 12:32, Reply)

My fave Spanish swear...
"Me cago en tus muertos" which I am told is "I shit on your ancestors".
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I shit on your dead ancestors, in fact
Me cago en tu puta madre is not bad either: I shit on your whore mother.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Ooh thanks for that one.
*runs to La Tasca*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:20, Reply)

i really don't get this obsession with shitting in everything here
especially the milk
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Agreed.
Have a wank in the milk and no one would notice.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I like
Me cago en todo lo que se menea: I shit on everything/one that moves.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Well there's your problem with today
You have the squits.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Oh
That explains this feeling in my guts. Thanks Doctor.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Off you go then.
Plenty of fluids, eat bananas and if you are still having problems try some immodium or a butt plug.
Next.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

alternatively
chupatela, cabrón
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:25, Reply)

That's more mexican than Spanish
But very good
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

i would hope by now to have some mastery of the language
since i've been here 4 years already
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

I should hope so!
Maybe you have some mexican friends who told you that one? Or maybe Spaniards have copied it. I've been 5 years in the UK, so I realise some times I'm a bit out of date with slang and insults in my language.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:40, Reply)

i dont know any mexicans
and apart from the cabrón part, it seems to get thrown around quite a bit these days
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I have the feeling
That I'm going to have to ask you for late slang/insults before I go to Spain again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)

And I think it's a brilliant idea
Be very carefull. I've been robbed several times in Las Ramblas and La Barceloneta (the beach). Especially at the beach, don't leave your bags next to you and chat with your friends. Someone will come to ask for a cigarrette and before you know he'll be running away with your things (don't follow him, he'll have friends with knifes waiting) Hold your bags all the time.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Thanks for the advice and the phrase.
I think pez is fish, but could you give the translation, please. (Clearly I'll be doing lots of pointing and saying "Uno of thoso, por favor" in a very English accent next week)
(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:34, Reply)

It's a bit complicated in English
Búscate un trabajo: Go, find a job

Y que te folle un pez: and that a fish fucks you

It's quite a rude sentence, but we say it very often when we are fed up, a bit like your piss off, but then, we're usually more rude than you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 11:48, Reply)

there are certainly
some scummer little bastards around here.

some fucker tried to nick my wallet out my pocket once - unluckily for him, the pockets on those denims are quite tight, so he ended up with his hand stuck in my pocket
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:28, Reply)

~~pocket~~ anus.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)

also
don't go round the Nou Camp after dark
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I've been mistaken for a prostitute there
I didn't enjoy it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:39, Reply)

ouch

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I was only 16 as well
So I didn't know how to react. I was well scared.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)

were you there after dark?
i found out one night i went out cycling - ended up a little lost somewhere between the stadium and the town nearby, and followed the tram tracks back.

i don't think a single one of them is actually a woman (born or fully operated)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 13:57, Reply)

It wasn't too dark
The sun was going down, but not dark. It was summer and I was wearing hot pants and a little top, and a taxi driver stopped and started asking me questions that I didn't understand at that moment.

Later, explaining to my parents, they told me what happened, and ask me not to go around there at those hours again.

Now, where I live in Manchester is becoming like the Nou Camp
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

hahaha

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)

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