Owing to confusion in the previous thread, here is a proper Friday morning thread.
Its bank holiday weekend, the weather is fowl, but may improve to just plain crap. What are you going to be doing, or what would you like to be doing?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:35, 270 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The weather is poultry?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Yup, like a shower of chicken shit.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Mornin Bart
I've cricked me neck in the night :(

This weekend is the Mathew Street Festival here. It started out as a Beatles thing but now it's just lots of stages all over the city and heaving packed pubs with mediocre bands, apart from Groundpig, they're boss. Someone's planning a synchronised Beatles singalong across all the stages. I'm so tempted to drag djtp along and watch his skin blister as it dawns on him just what he is embroiled in.

In other news some mates are coming over tomorrow night for board games and booze, and I've agreed to cook. FOR FOUR PEOPLE!! I am afraid. And they should be afraid too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:40, Reply)

You should cook chicken on the bone
And watch them all clutch their stomachs and run to the toilet as the salmonella takes hold
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Sod it
I'm making a big pasta bolognese and they can like it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:45, Reply)

And I'm sure they will.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Mornin' Ma'am.
I have to fess up and say, that I could sing all the beatles songs, probably without words, having sung along to them in the car for many years. I'm rather jealous for not being there myself.

Never show mercy at board games. Thrash their arse's at triv' or whatever you are playing.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I love Beatles singalongs
I instigated a huge one in the centre of Manchester once after a Take That concert.

We're either playing Hotel (incites violence) or Logo (intriguing) so either way I will embarrass myself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:50, Reply)

what's Hotel?
It sounds fun. More fun than the Risk night that Wiggy went to last Friday.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:54, Reply)

It's like Monopoly but with big tacky hotels to be built bit by bit
And it makes you giggle, then it makes you really competitive and evil, and then you run out of hotel entrances and use dog-ends.
Then you say "Shove the Waikiki up your arse!" and then there's a big fight and Will Young wins Pop Idol.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:58, Reply)

sounds awesome.
I played the Game of Life for the first time a while ago. It was overhyped. I didn't win.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I thought it was overhyped a bit
I still won, but it was a bit dull.

Most recent discovery was called Scotland Yard; someone is the criminal, the others have to try and catch him in a set number of turns. I won. I did a happy dance.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I think I've played that, it was really good fun.
I had one called 13 Dead End Drive where there are 13 character pieces on the board and you have cards that match 3 or 4 of the characters and you have to try and kill off the other characters without people realising who you are. It's got working trapdoors and a little chandelier that falls on the person you're killing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

That sounds awesome!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

It is pretty cool
I also love the classics, like Guess Who, but that's not really a game you could centre a whole evening around. Unless you had a Guess Who tournament.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

If you do that, promise you'll do something for me
The first person to ask something like "Are they black?", feign utter shock and disgust, and refuse to talk to them all night for being such racist bastards.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

ok. I also want to slip a Marcellus Wallace picture in there
so I can say "does he look like a bitch?"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

When the kids got Guess Who for Christmas one year
Having played against the kids and having had a few drinks, I ended up playing against my Brother-in-Law. To avoid it being quite so repetitve we developed a "embarrased, well-meaning naive liberal" mode of asking the questions - "Are they black?" would become "Might one be forgiven for thinking that they may well be quite fond of reggae or hip hop music?".
(Cave Duck, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Does he look like a bitch?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Fuck I didn't refresh.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

it's just more evidence that we are meant to be

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

:D

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I only played that once and I liked it
But then I was 9.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Risk is the best boardgame by a country mile

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:05, Reply)

It can go on for fecking hours though.
I prefer trivial pursuit, after I have taken all the cards with soap opera questions on them, out of the boxes.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

if you play world domination it can
but even then usually not.

trivial pursuit goes on for a long time too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I appreciate Triv censorship. Soap opera questions are the world of the devil.
If anyone wants a really good, easy to learn, card-based game, I would suggest Coloretto. Even suitable for non-Gamers :)

www.marquand.net/staticpages/index.php?page=coloretto_play
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

sport is the worst!
who knows anything about early 20th century horseraising ffs?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Horse Racing and Boxing can go fuck themselves.
Everything else is vaguely do-able.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Nuh-uh
Settlers of Catan tops it for me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

YES!!

(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

When we were young, my brother and I really wanted a table tennis table.
Our Dad, being a tight but practical bloke, fashioned one out of an old trestle table and two large pieces of chipboard.
When the table tennis fad had passed, we drew an upscaled Risk board onto the top amd would spend hours playing it in the garage The feeling of it being one of those war room tables where people push model planes around with sticks seemed to add something to the game.
(Cave Duck, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I like the sound of that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

actually I was wrong
Escape from Colditz was the best game ever.

Closely followed by Crossbows and Catapults.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

That's just reminded me that my brother "had previous" in regard to drawing out board games.
He'd played the Colditz game at a friend's house and was so taken with it that he borrowed it and made a copy onto cardboard. Our Dad was so impressed with the effort that he'd put in that, despite being somewhat tigh, he gave him the money to go and buy the game. It was really good.
The next day I drew a picture of a Hull City season pass, but only got a clip round the ear. - It was a shit drawing, to be fair.
(Cave Duck, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

hehe
that's excellent
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Somebody forgot to tell Warwickshire that it's a bank holiday weekend
Sunshine and clear skies here today.

Taking the puppy to the vets for her final vaccinations, ordering my company cars and cremating some animals over a charcoal grill later.

Not really planning to do a lot over the weekend - making the most of being a lazy fucker before I go back to work next week.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:44, Reply)

If its nice where you are, we may get some later.
What comany car are you getting? Unless you are ordering them for somebody else, in which case Smart cars for everyone..
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:50, Reply)

For myself
Got news of my promotion this week, and due to the odd way my company works, management-types get two company cars, which are replaced every 6 months. I've pretty much decided on a Jaguar XFR and a Land Rover Discovery 4.

Anyone want to buy my Volvo S60?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:57, Reply)

good choices
also, you are a bastard. The reasons for this are twofold: you seem to have a totally awesome job, and you have a really cute puppy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:04, Reply)

*munches croissant*

( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Earth Killer

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Maybe so
But the Jag's emissions are no worse than the Volvo it's replacing, and the Landy's needed to pull Mrs Duck's horse trailers (and some weekend offroading shenanigans of course).
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Whilst it is lovely for you to have two cars paid for by the company
that is a totally ridiculous situation and is the reason that the car industry suddenly found itself up shit creek as it relies mostly on companies spunking totally unnecessary amounts of cash on cars which are then traded in having been barely used.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Are you jealous
Because you haven't got your new car yet?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I am jealous as I would love someone to buy me a nice car,
but I'm also pointing out how utterly ludicrous it is.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I'll agree it's ludicrous
I want to bring my car if I move to London, but I see it possibly being a slight logistical issue.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

It's less of a problem if you've got guarenteed parking
or at least relatively quiet permit parking. If you're going to do it, check out the parking situation in the evenings and weekends as well as during the day.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Sounds like a good plan
I'll leave it up here for a bit to start with and bring it down at some point afterwards. Also, be jealous that I have a car Al. Jealous I tells ya.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I have a car.
And a van, I don't even use my car as I use my van and therefore don't pay for fuel either.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Well, this has backfired
Now I feel jealous.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I sold my car when I moved to Manchester
and I haven't really missed it, although am allowed to borrow Wiggy's if I need to so I suppose I should shut up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I agree that it's ridiculous
But the difference here is that since the company builds the cars in question, it's not spending anything like what you'd think on building them in the first place.

The actual manufacturing cost of a car is only a fraction of what it retails for. Management have to pay a lease charge on those cars for the 6 months that they have them. After the 6 months they are released into the dealership network as 'approved used cars'. The lease charge that the managers pay makes up a good chunk of the difference between what the dealer would pay for a brand new example minus any incentives, and what they pay for the lightly used example.

In short, they make as much money doing that as they do by selling a new car to Joe Public.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I consider myself well and truly told.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

The problem rears its head though
when you have a large volume manufacturer doing that. Ever noticed how pretty much all the recent-ish used cars on a Ford dealer's forecourt are 'Ford Direct' vehicles with an Essex registration plate?

There's so many of them, there's little incentive to actually buy a new one.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I have to go to a house warming party of a guy I don't like tonight
and tomorrow Wiggy wants me to do massive drugs, but I haven't decided yet. Sunday night is some kind of pirate party and Monday I will attempt to do lots of productive things like sewing and studying but more than likely I will lie on the sofa watching rubbish TV and lamenting all the noxious things I've put into my body over the last three days.

What are you doing Bartleby?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Perhaps the obvious question
Is why are you going if you don't like the guy?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:55, Reply)

because he's one of our group of friends
and he's one of the lads who Wiggy hangs out with, so to not go would cause hassle for Wiggy. Plus the guy's girlfriend has just moved here from Sweden so I don't want to exclude her and make her feel unwelcome just because her boyfriend's a douche.

I plan to do what he always does at our parties though, get really drunk, be extremely loud and annoying, take pictures to immediately upload to facebook to show everyone how super fun I am all the time, throw up on the bed and leave by 10pm.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:01, Reply)

God work
Hahaha that was a typo but it's boss!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Oo oo oo!
Say "Javla fitta" to the Swedish lass! Or "Javla pissluder"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I'm not calling her that.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

You ruin all my fun
Buzzkillington.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Do you want to see my etchings?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I'll take a look at your 'etchings'
*waggles eyebrows*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Here's me as buzz killington
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

but buzz killington looks like this
2.bp.blogspot.com/_29i8goE7m18/SwONVtA-MWI/AAAAAAAAAAY/Z8CiSor6hAE/s1600-R/buzzkill.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Haha noice!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I'm doing cleaning and scrubbing and hoovering.
With only short breaks to go to the arndale for some new boots and other shopping. I will watch the rest of the DVD's which arrived earlier in the week though. Band of Brothers and A bit of Fry and Laurie which should keep me interested.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I'm thinking of getting a cleaner.
That's bad, isn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:02, Reply)

it's more widespread than I thought
if I didn't have massive drugs lying around all the time I'd be tempted.

and if I wasn't skint obviously.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Glad to hear it.
I keep all of my 'apparatus' in one place so I should be able to get that put away before the cleaner comes round without too much grief.

My flat is a disgrace at the moment.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

my house is constantly a disgrace
because of the permanent decorating going on.

and the slovenly ways of those who live there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

our cleaner is being deported next week so got to find another. A very middle class problem.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Did you fire nails into her head and arms?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:05, Reply)

eh?
I am terribly hungover this morning so my capacity to understand anything has disappeared.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Just answer the question, Battered.
DID YOU? DID YOU FIRE THOSE NAILS?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

This may have happened. Anything could have happened yesterday. Particularly after starting on the port at 4pm/

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I love a decent port.
I usually treat myself to a special one each Christmas from Selfridges.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

That is a really good idea
I'm going to do that this year since I won't be cooking christmas dinner for once.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

just don't drink a load of Breton cider afterwards like I did yesterday

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

would being in a storm affect your choice of port?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

That raised an actual smile

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

splendid

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I once got a bottle of 20 year old Warres for £6.49.
It was sainsbury's after Christmas and I think someone was still drunk when they marked it down.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Not bad if your home is orderly enough to just need a quick wipe round.
bad if they have to wear an environmental suit, like my one would need.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I think if I was flush that would be one of the first things I would get.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

are you a Manchesterite?
I did not know that. Or is Arndale a countrywide shopping centre chain or something?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Luton Arndale is world famous
So I'm told.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:05, Reply)

ahhh fair enough.
I did google the word Arndale and Manchester was the only one that came up, but it might be google doing that clever/stalky thing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Just found out, its called the Mall now
Still the sort of place to avoid pickpockets, drunks and other flotsam from society.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:12, Reply)

The Manchester one is just full of teenage loiterers.
I really don't understand why they want to loiter in the mall.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:16, Reply)

The
one
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

morning miserable.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Error
Monday you will play Mario Kart against Vipros
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:02, Reply)

oh yeah I forgot already.
that will fit in well with my lying on the sofa plans. Shit, I'd better get some practice in, I haven't played for months. Oooh maybe I'll take it to the party tonight and be really rude.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Staying over at my ex's tonight (she won't be there)
Saturday daytime: larking about with daughter.
Saturday night: possibly going on the rampage
Sunday: possibly Carnival
Sunday night: almost 100% definitely rampage
Monday: either recovery or more Carnival
Tuesday: MISERY
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:58, Reply)

It almost resembles a 7 step plan that...

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:59, Reply)

ahh tearful Tuesdays
when life seems to have no point.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Yay, you get to see the babby all sleepy!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Hopefully
she'll wake me up to excitedly show me her poo like she did last time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:07, Reply)

It's a shame we grow out of such things

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Some of us never do.
*proudly holds up potty for inspection*

She's already out of nappies which is pretty good, I understand. One of my Japanese cousins is a year older than Len and he's still rocking the Pampers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Boys are slow and shitty
My uncle shat on the retractable Hoover cord when he was a toddler. Nobody knew until they pulled the plug out...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:15, Reply)

words escape me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Words don't escape him
He still maintains "I didn't shit on it, I wiped my bum with it!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Ouch...
Did he think it would be like a self-retracting goose's neck or something?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

they don't retract by themselves
you have to punch them in.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

So after you punched the goose,
did you wipe your arse on its neck?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

yeah
then I said "now clean yourself up, you disgust me"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Turds escape him.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

don't mention poo. One of our cats has just shat on the carpet.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:12, Reply)

POO.
Poo, poo poo.

*does tribal poo dance*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Thanks. Cat shit + hangover = the world can get to fuck this morning

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:15, Reply)

I hate people talking about poo
yesterday I went into the loos to redo my makeup after my poleclass and my teacher came out of the cubicle and said "don't mind me, I was just having a shit".
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Well, I suppose that's slightly more 'to-the-point' than
"I'd give it five minutes if I were you..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:16, Reply)

WHY CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT POOOOOO

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:16, Reply)

BECAUSE GIRLS DON'T POOOOOOO!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Em would have me believe that girls do, but it's tiny cute little rabbit-like poo
And in order for that to happen, I have to close all doors in the flat and play loud music.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I'm given to understand that girls don't fart
but if they did it would smell like kittens and rainbows, so any other smells I detect in the house must have been me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Oh no, girls do fart
A LOT.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

no we don't
we puff out little rainbows and poop cinammon rolls.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

ha ha. I like telling people at work to give it 5 minutes & avoid trap number 2.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Because you clogged up trap number 2 with your own number 2!
*giggles*

It's starting to sound to me like a coprophilic version of "Deal or No Deal."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Stool or no stool

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

ha ha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Why, beshrew me, old chap, you're in good fooling this morning!

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

IT'S A TRAP (2).

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I like this

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Why are you telling poo stories then?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I was exampling my revulsion of people talking about poo.
I forgot to put at the end of the story "I was repulsed".
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Eww
Dog shit smells like pot pourri compared to cat shit. My cat shat in his carrier on the way back from the vets, and the smell made me want to hurl.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

It was to teach you a lesson

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

vomiting is highly likely this morning. The next time one of the cats does this it's being sold on eBay - the cat, not the turd.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

you'd probably get more money for the turd

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

My daughter seemed to go through all of the potty training stuff pretty well except for one incident when she was around two..
My girlfriend and step-daughter were away in Canada to attend the wedding of my girlfriend's Dad. I had taken the week off work to look after my daughter and all had gone well. One evening whilst she was playing with her dolls I nipped upstairs to set the bath running for her pre bed bath. When I came back down she had not only done a poo, but had decided to use it to "draw" on the television (this was well before Chris Ofili started using poo in his paintings, the bloody copy-cat.) I kept calm and didn't make a fuss. I just got her in the bath and off to bed. I then set about the task of cleaning the telly. Baby wipes sorted the screen pretty quickly, but she'd managed to shove some into the holes that allow the sound out of the speakers, and into those red, yellow and white AV sockets. This required delicate ear bud and coctail stick work, and to ensure that I didn't simply push the poo into the television, taking the casing off. It took bloody ages, but my overwhelming thought whilst doing was that the most important thing was not to have a heart attack and die as this would mean
1. My daughter would be alone.
and
2. Imagine being found, by someone who wouldn't know what had happened, on plastic sheet in the lounge surrounded by shit-tipped cotton buds and cocktail sticks with a part diassembled television. It would look like whilst my girlfriend was away I was induilging in some bizarre mild electrocution/faeces related auto erotic shenanigans that combined the worst of Michael Hutchence and Chuck Berry's indulgences.
(Cave Duck, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Tonight work leaving do which I'll dip out of before they go to Cougar town.
Tomorrow house party/roof party in a converted pub in camden.
Sunday maybe Notting hill festival if the weather is decent.
Monday nothing.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Have you been to the festival before?
Is it as awesome as it looks?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Yeah I've been a couple of times,
it's good fun but it is rammed and so getting anywhere is a chore.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I've always wanted to go
I think it might be on that list of things that you said I'll never do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

It's fucking brilliant.
The trick is to find a good spot and stay there rather than wandering around like a tourist. Bottle of rum in pocket, then just buy cans of Coke and top them up with the rum, thus minimising the need to piss every 15 minutes that lots of beer causes.

Best system: 'Gaz's Rockin' Blues' on Talbot Road: ska and 50s rock'n'roll. Magic! Gaz Mayall's dad is blues legend John Mayall, fact fans.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Heading up for the first time this weekend myself
Would 'Gaz's Rockin Blues' be there on Sat? Does it change day to day?

Also bottle of rum tip duly noted.

/carnivalvirgin
(R0SS, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Nothing happens on Saturday
Sunday and Monday are your days. Gaz is there both days in the same place. Sunday is more family-oriented but still good. Monday is more hardcore and usually busier.

Channel One also have a good system if you like proper roots reggae. Dance music types gravitate towards Sancho Panza - but it's utterly shit and surrounded by fake-tanned gay men in deely boppers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Ah, right...
Was just going to be visiting on Sat but may hang about for Sun now.

Glad I checked.
(R0SS, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

It's a great experience.
Unless you hate crowds.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Only when they're baying for my blood.
Which happens more often than I'd like to be honest.
(R0SS, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Sancho Panza sounds wonderful as well.
Will avoid.
(R0SS, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

You mean Darth Foxtrot goes there?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

That's right.
Foxtrot, BobbyPires and Peter Tatchell have their own pink 'Outrage' float, playing the best in Belgian bottom-music.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Monty in "I actually like this" shocker!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I like fucking loads of stuff.
I'm actually one of life's enthusiasts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

officelol

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Coke?
I hope that isn't decent rum you are ruining.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Nah just Cockspur, Appleton Special
or the embarrasingly-monickered 'Mount Gay'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Cockspur £10 a bottle at Asda.
It is rather good for cocktails isn't it?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

That it is.
Shame there's no Asda round my way. £10 is good isn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Isn't is called Carnival?
And what IS the difference between a carnival and a festival anyway?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Oh yeah it is, and I don't think there is a difference
and anyone who says there is a difference is a pedantic cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

You rang, my lord?
Fundamental difference between Carnival and festivals is the procession aspect of it. All those floats etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

floating turds?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

POO.
Poo-poop-be-doop.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I just saw a new advert for Webuyanycar.com
It was the very epitome of shit. And the the loser guy standing next to his car looked like Chompy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

I haven't seen the advert.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

It doesn't appear to have made it to youtube yet
Either that or it's been removed because it's so rubbish.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I want to sell them a shit car with the Go Compare man locked in the boot.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

stick that bloody meerkat in the boot as well.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

nooo! I likes the meerkat

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

the meerkat is a cunt. Official.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I don't really like the way they're heading with the whole ancestral war stories thing
but I think the original idea was very clever, especially having an actual meerkat comparison website.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

the first advert was fine
each subsequent one has been worse than the previous and I object to some shitty fucking company trying to shoehorn a new way of saying something into common usage.

If I hear someone saying "Simples" then I punch them in the face.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

that "simples" thing is almost as hateful as Peter Mandelson

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

you would have punched me so hard last night then
I was trying to convince the girls in my class that a move we were doing where we had to cross our legs over and turn around in the air was SIMPLES.

It wasn't.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

i don't like you anymore.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I'll tick that off my to do list then

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

were you being sarcastic?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

poker with the boys tonight
was going to be a wee bash tomorrow but unfortunately events conspired against most attendees so its been knocked on the head so will bumble around the house, and working monday.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Yeah, sorry again about that old chap
(And sorry to hear you've got to work on the bank holiday - what did you do to deserve that?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I offered
I have used up most of my holiday, and get a day extra for working it, plus it is double time, and I have no life so its no great trauma
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

A wee bash?
Please leave this thread. This is a POO-TALK only area.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

*shits self in fear of incuring the Wrath of Monty*
there better now?
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

It's an im-poo-vement, for sure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

that was
a crap pun
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

you're both shit.
Stoppit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

ooooh
copros load of you with the attitude
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I think that was a little faece-tious.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I tend to run out of steam
after the turd or fourth bad pun
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Likewise, I seem to have run out of steam(ers)...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I'm keeping a log of your instults, Kitty.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

you're potty.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

you're scat-terbrained

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I wouldn't trust that one
You should also keep track of her movements.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

It's all very Cloaca and daggers, isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

First you say "instults"
Then you triple post. Poor show, Monty, poor show... off to the dump with you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Ah, crap.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

It's all very Cloaca and daggers, isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

doubly so apparently

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Monty, have you turned into Max Headroom?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

yy-y-y-y-y-y-yyes

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

You realise it's only a few short steps from here to silly makeup and an Adam Ant hairdo?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

(Cave Duck, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

i am stuck in all day tomorrow
waiting for a bookshelf and a new dyson to be delivered. i am secretly quite excited about the dyson, as for £300 i am expecting it to do a lot more than hoover the carpet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

What else does a vacuum cleaner do?
Dance? make you coffee? valet the car on its own?
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

she uses the vacuum cleaners to send cattle to their death

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I think that only works for men, Rachel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

ha.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

i am disappointed
by the lack of range in both your imaginations.

disappointed but perhaps not surprised.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Are you wanting to use it
To 'take care' of men so you don't have to?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

some girls like doing that
regardless of what yours might have been telling you for years!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I'm just trying to think of the alternate uses you're suggesting
You could suck your womb out.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

if nothing else
it will look cool. that'll do!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Did you get a pink one?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

NO!!!!!
do they make pink ones??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Dunno
I've got a friend who works there. I should just get him to throw some pink plastic pellets in.

edits: they have some that have pink bits, but none that are just like completely pink and garish and awful.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

then that won't do
stop teasing me with your promise of pink plastic things!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

You know full well
That I don't approve of making products in various colours just to make them more attractive to girls. Especially laptops.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I'm stuck in today
Waiting for an old broken TV to be picked up, and the new one to be delivered. For some reason these two things are happening separately, despite it being John Lewis that are doing both. Cocks.

The Dyson certainly will do more than just hoover. Our one gives me static shocks from the build up that happens when it gets pushed over the carpet. That's some awful design.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

don't piss on my chips!
i am also desperate for one of those dyson hand dryers for my bathroom like you see in some bars these days. they are the best thing ever.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

are they the ones that dry your hands in 3 and a half seconds?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

yes
they are AWESOME!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

They are pretty good
In that they actually dry your hands, unlike normal hand driers, which just make them a bit warm.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

if you rub your hands thoroughly as you dry them
the remaining water is spread out thinner and more easily removed by the air flow.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I do this
I thought I was dead clever when I figured it out.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

given that most people fail to do it
you are allowed to feel clever.

I have just remembered a great hand dryer related image thing, possibly from here somewhere....

knowyourmeme.com/i/9403/original/PushButtonReceiveBacon.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I have that on a T-shirt
Also, Barbarossa took it a step further a little while ago
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

excellent :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

they've got them at Tayyab's -
as if it wasn't brilliant enough already.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

liking two things in one day?
careful, you'll have an aneurism.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

They don't properly dry your hands though, you need to put them through twice.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

twice?
how wet are your hands?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Big hands love,
big hands.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

you know what they say about people with bigs hands....
that they are almost certainly a rapist
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

if you'd said big feet
you might have got more attention from me. you know what they say about men with big feet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Red noses?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

i don't get this
why don't i get this, please to explain your shit joke, thanking you kindly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Clowns, dear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I bet you feel really stupid now.
Like retarded, having to stand at the front of the class stupid.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

it was a good joke too
insult to injury
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

it was a shit joke
if i didn't understand it, given how witty and sophisticated i am.

0/10 chompy, must try harder to impress the ladies.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

...or simply invest in a new hoover.
Hoovers don't make you watch Big Brother or force you to pretend you give a toss about their shoes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

is this what he does to you, monty?
why are you friends with him then?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

No, it's not.
Chompy is a stand-up fellow.

No emotional blackmail or periods with him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

you mean
he stands up and people laugh at him?

and i never do emotional blackmail. how could you say that monty, how could you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Now start crying until you get your own way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Yep, 'big socks'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

They're closely related to penguins?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

do your high fives hurt people?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Only when he puts them up their arses.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

That's his special 'low five'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

the best ones are stupidly powerful ones of the normal variety
called XCELERATOR! or something

because they deform your hands with their raw power.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

The most important thing
is not to put your penis in either.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

ouch

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

That sounds like a challenge

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

raping a hand dryer. interesting idea.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

the hand dryer wants it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Quick and dirty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

did you just make that?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Yeah
It's not something I had pre-made, I'm not that mental.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

wasn't sure if you'd pinched it from somewhere
good work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I'll take that as a compliment, thanks!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

He just called you a thief.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

He said it looks so good that I obviously couldn't have made it
Therefore my skills surpass his low estimation of me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

this is great
and i told you all... see how cool the airblade is, see!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Use a towel

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

or just wipe
my hands on my trousers like they do in milton keynes, you mean?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I want one of those robo-hoovers
but our flat has a two-level floor all the way across the living room so it would just fall off it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Today is my last day of work for nearly 2 weeks
As I'm going to Menorca on holiday! Woo!

Bonus joy has been awarded by the nice copper who called me up just now to to say that the suspect in the court case I'm due to give evidence in when I return is highly likely to plead guilty. Hopefully I won't have to go down to That There London Town after all!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Woo indeed!
Watch out for that sun. It can get you when you least expect it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Ello love!
I'll use plenty of lotion, but no doubt I'll still burn...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Did you get a sunburn on your foo-foo?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)