Missed Connections
I check the craigslist page a lot, not necessarily hoping to see something about me, but I like to read them.

So, who are you missing in your life? Who would you like to get to know? Is there a time you regret not telling that person you totally dig them??
Tell them here!!

Also, did someone ever reach out to you?
Once in college I came out to my car and there was a single red rose under my windshield wiper. Still boggled by that 7 years later.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:07, 340 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I sent a girl some roses on valentines day
about 2 years ago, turns out she was secretly screwing a mate of mine, I was oblivious.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

aww that's sweet though
I hope you would still do it again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Nope, snakes with tits

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Haha!
Someone who's as bitter as me.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Cost me £40 as well.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Pfft! I spent way more than that and got fucked over.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

over
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

That's true also.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I read somewhere that men like being sent flowers, less about the flowers and more about being thought of.
How would you feel if a girl sent you flowers??

I almost sent a guy flowers once. My mate Matt told me not to. So I didn't.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

My gf gave me flowers last year not long after we first got together. I thought it was ace - nobody had ever done that before

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I don't like being sent flowers
They are dead things. I rather get a plant.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I was never really a fan of flowers but if a bloke sent them to me I reckon I'd be over the moon.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I'd be happy that he thought of me
But I'd be thinking "Obviously, he doesn't know me well enough, he's not put enough effort. Next time he'll be sending me chocolates" (I don't like chocolate)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

hahaha
to be real, if a guy got me chocolates I'd probably die a little inside, yes I'm fat, no I don't want you to send me chocolates
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Yes, that's another point
And, ffs, be creative. What's that? Chocolate, flowers and a card? How original! Thanks!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I actually said that to a guy once, I really hurt his feelings
aw, tear, lol
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Hahaha!
Oh, girl, at least I keep it to myself. I can imagine his face. But you were right, I'm sure he didn't spend a lot of time thinking about what to get you, eh?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

it was actually because he wanted to go to the movies then go bowling and I'm like wtf really
probably two of the things I really don't like to do ever
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Well, you did well telling him, I think
Maybe something more subtle would have been better, but then they complain that we're not straight forward.

So did you just leave him there, with the flowers and the chocolate, or did you go to the pictures?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

oh I met him and a friend and was like, well have fun
next time be more original

on hindsight, I was a mayjah bitch.
ah well, he's all loved up and engaged now so....
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I'm sure she's not half as good as you

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

he's very very sweet
really, I'm glad he's happy, he deserves it
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

And yet when someone gets you a nice
original present of a hoover, you cry!

Women.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

It wasn't nice
It's not nice when it's to do work, rather than to have fun. Presents are for fun. Same as I can't understand socks or soap for present. Why? Give me something I'm going to enjoy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

WOMEN

( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I met Wiggy a few days before my birthday
and I wasn't expecting anything from him but he sent me some roses. However, the florists used Royal Mail and the roses arrived a week later in a bashed box that was covered in that tape that says "sorry your package was damaged". They were almost dead and pretty brown. When I rung Wiggy to tell him he said "there should have been a balloon as well" and I laughed myself silly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

He's cute! So sweet!
Now, Royal Mail... grrr
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I know, I was so annoyed with them!
But the idea of me receiving a bunch of dead mangled flowers from a boy I just met did make me laugh!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Um, I suppose the thought's there
but I don't own any vases or anything so at most they'll sit in a pint glass for 2 weeks after they're dead and then get chucked out.

Now a crate of beer on the other hand, and I'm yours.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

*checks around for Vipros*
*sends crate*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

"oh thanks Kitty, maybe you're not so bad after all"
"no probs P to the C, any time!"
"let's be buds!"
"yay!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Only just noticed it.
Thanks, you fucking beaker.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

oh whoops
I thought you were purposefully ignoring me to be rude. Carry on
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

That's a lovely thing to happen though.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Well I can contribute more
on the success of reaching out in a couple of days. Or I may retreat shellshocked and broken.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)

o rly?
do tell
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I manned the fuck up
and invited someone out. In a platonic way, but they haven't replied yet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

*fingers crossed*

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

thanks
It's the first time in a long time that I've actually initiated anything. I got badly burnt the last time in terms of humiliation
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Good luck
I hope it goes well.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I hope you didn't say "IN A PLATONIC WAY" in the invite.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

even I
am not quite that stupid. I just made it as innocuous as possible and not at all 'let's go and drink ourselves stupid and then be awkward with each other'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)

"lets get drunk and make some bad decisions"

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

That is an excellent line.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

it's my favorite
don't think I've ever said it to anyone though

will have to do that soon
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

"Fancy having an really drunken and embarrassing attempt at sex before either of us vomit?"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Now this is a good line
except I'd rather introduce it when he's drunk so it's hard for him to run
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Am I going to have to whiteknight Lampito here?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

"Yeah'... hi there.... I'd love to go out with you some time, you know, maybe the pictures and a bite to eat....
... No, I'm not entirely sure what John is doing that night, yeh', I'll bring him along, it'll be fun.... wait a sec, did we say this tuesday or next tuesday? Sorry, I just remembered, I gotta go and, erm, well, put me down as a maybe...*awquard silance*.... *mumble* yeh', sure, I'll text him your number"

3 weeks later.

"Oh shit, sorry, I got distracted and forgot. Nah', he's seeing Jane now. Anyway, how do you fancy that bite to eat? HAHAHAHHAHAHA, yeah', RIGHT, as IF _I_ would ask you out like that, of course as friends, don't be silly. I suppose Tom could join us, did we say tuesday or wensday? Oh fuck, I got that thing on, listen, text me back when you realise I want to see you naked and you ain't bothered by it.".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Hahaha
That's very good. I hope you haven't relly used it, though.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Eeee!
Best of luck :)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

oooooooh boy
I went through this last week, I did

I wish you better luck than I had
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I hope it goes well
he looks like a nice sort, so hopefully even if it doesn't go the way you want, it won't be horrible and awkward. But he would be stupid to turn you down! :)
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

thanks :)
sadly I'm not a patch lookswise on his ex. Let's hope my scintillating personality will make up for this. Or my vocabulary
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

She's his ex for a reason.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

everything becomes idealised
in memory
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

She's not dead ffs.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

sorry this made me laugh quite hard

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Why do you always talk so much sense?
*ponders*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

If it relates to someone else than I usually do.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I miss The Nazis

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

THere's still a few around, they smell of piss.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I miss you,
where have you been all afternoon?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

working

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

working

polishing ss memorabilia and goose stepping.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I have liked the same girl for about 12 years.
God knows why.

My ex let me know she liked me by drawing me a picture of us smooching and put in my bag.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

It's cute that her mum let her take it down from the fridge door all by herself to give to you
cute sick
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

You! Here you are!
You didn't white knighted me. You're not having more tapas never ever, no, no, no.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)

What? What happened?
I was working!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Excuses
Two big boys making fun of me, and you were nowhere near.

And I've been asked for a badge too, and I don't know how to make them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

My most sincerest of apologies
You've been asked for a badge? By whom, and what for?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I'm not sure if I understood it well
I think it's a badge to say that Bobby is not so bad, like a club of people who don't want to abuse him. But it could have been irony. I get lost in translation too often.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I will burn these badges
And then I will burn lab for making them
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

You shouldn't be so negative
It's going to burn your insides.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)

It keeps me warm
along with all my fat before anyone else gets that in.

Aberry, baby, you know I'm not really mean and evil. Please don't ban me from yoru sangria
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Mmmm...
I couldn't ban you or anyone else... just... I don't know... ok, ok, but don't burn Lab, he's very nice and good looking.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

*smugs*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

shithead

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Labs are you taking badge requests?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Sure
What do you have in mind?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

The 'haven't been
punched, fucked or insulted by Lampito' club. I reckon it'll be a small but select group.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Minimum batches tend to be of 50 badges
Quite overkill, methinks.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)

50?
there goes my request for "I like TGB" badges
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Haha!
I'll buy 49.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I love you
:)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

There are not 50 people in the world who haven't been punched, fucked or insulted by me.
Besides, I'm a misanthrope, so there's the whole world under the "insult" category.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I haven't been, so far as I can remember.
Although I've only met you once.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I would never punch you, as I am a little awed by you.
No fucking, as your missus is lovely.
No insults, because I don't want to get on your wrong side.

YOU ARE DEEMED SAFE
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Awed?
Blimey, that would be a first.

I don't think I have a wrong side. I am the nicest bloke on the internet, apart from possibly Lab who's a big soft shite at heart.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Maybe terrified might be better.
Or "healthy respect". Though I am quite timid, I'm scared of a lot of people on here.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I'm a pussy cat really.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I'm only scared of you.
NOT THE FACE!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Are you genuinely?
In that case, I'm very sorry. Genuinely. I still don't remember what happened but I'm sure you didn't deserve the punch (unlike the other three)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Hahah no of course not.
*cowers*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Didn't stop you punching me though, did it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

she's not scared of you
or floppy wrists
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

You fucking deserved it, you facetious pinioned twat.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I can't argue with that.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

lovely insult right here

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

just a badge for me then?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I want to do one of those things to you though.
/almost True Blood theme music
/guitars
/deep Souths
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

*cowers from punch*

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)

No, not that one, you fucking idiot :P

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

she just wants me for my cheekbones

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

No problem reaching the minimum for I hate TGB badges then

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

How many more years until she gets released?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Were you waiting 'till she was 16?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

1
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I need to wait for people to reach out to me.
Telling people I like them never has good consequences.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I've only ever done it twice and it was bad juju.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)

I've done it with more people than I care to count
and while I may have got laid a couple of times, I've come out of it worse than when I came in.

Most just look awkward and mumble some shit about "seeing me more as a friend".
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

oh yer
I did once and the guy apparently fell head over heels, posting things like "I wanna give you love forever" on my myspace page [yes, it was that long ago]
he told my friend I broke his heart but he totally freaked me out
he's now engaged
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Totally fell for someone whilst I was at University
Didn't do anything about it because I was a different person then. Not sure if it was a mistake in the long run, but it'd have been nice to know.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I don't think anyone has ever reached out to me
and I have only once asked someone out and been turned down nicely. The rest of the time I was either too shy to ask, asked and got laughed at, or said yes and got my heart broken. Hey ho.
I am currently digging someone but I shouldn't be and I intend to keep my mouth shut.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Once my best friend told me she was in love with me.
It was excruciating as I had no idea and didn't feel the same. We never really spoke again. She moved to the US and had a couple of kids with one of Jane's Addiction.

My life is peppered with 'what ifs' regarding women I was keen on but did nothing about. I've never made 'the first move' ever - I'm just not that bothered, and this is (I am told) attractive, you perverse sods.

I was very keen (this is a massive understatement) on an American woman I used to DJ with, we slept together twice and then she moved to Berlin (hopefully not just to get away from me, South London would have done it) so that was that.

I bought her a copy of 'Dreadlock Holiday' by 10cc (why she wanted it I don't know) on 45 and I got an EPIC NOSH in return. Best 99p EVARR.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I only just saw that bit you added.
I fell in love just a little more.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Quite a few 'what if's in my life
Especially when later told that a girl in my past fancied me too, but never said anything.

Nae bother, I'll never have the balls to ask a woman out.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

*narrows eyes*
was that girl keen on equine presents?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Erm
If you mean Our Mutual Friend, then no and LOL!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Friend is such a strong word
Has she changed her number or is she ignoring my texts?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Think she changed her number a couple of months ago
I know she tried to contact you, but I think it was through FB and I told her she'd have more luck raising the dead.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

oh right
she knows I never go on there so she probably didn't really want to talk to me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Whatevs

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

oh no you didn't!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

*headbobs*
MM-HMM
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)

But you have a girlfriend now
Doesn't she make you happy?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

You are mean
So mean, it should be ilegal.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)

This made me OFFICELOL

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Glad one of us is laughing
(just jk, you know, I'm laughing too, LOL)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)

But she does it so well.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Too well
I never know if she's like that for real or not. I don't like arguments and her answers make me feel unconfortable some times.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)

She is EXACTLY like this for real.
It's still funny.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)

But she's just joking, isn't she?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Hehe!
She's a pussycat and you know it, but don't tell anyone else.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)

WTF?!
BGB, I love you, but that's just malicious and irresponsible. TGB is the DEVIL, and to claim that she's anything other than that is both alarming and insulting.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

oh man epic sadface
el diablo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I'm going home now
See you tomorrow!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I knew you'd say that
I did kinda feed you the line.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Tomorrow the STOBART programme is on and I'll miss it as I have to go
out with Evil Pixie and Slovakian Tom for their stupid leaving dinner
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Oh man
I was looking forward to the fact deluge :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Oh, well
I've only seen her once, I think, and we were all too drunk :)

She didn't bite anyone, so I think that proves your point.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Oooof!
This is a nasty one

I've fucked up far too many times with far too many girls!

I'll just say sorry here to all of them... sadfaces
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I used to be a stalker
Too shy to start anything, and boys always saw me like a "proper" girlfriend (not good when your other 10 sexy friends are up to anything since they were 14)

But I've been slowly fixing all the bads, apart from one. I still love him a lot as a friend, although we don't talk much lately, and I'd never tell him (but he knows, and I know)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I'm just glad to be out of the equation in relationships.
Mild flirting on B3ta is all I'm up for now.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I've decided to embrace the life of drunken hookups that has been bestowed upon me.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

And so you should.
You're far to young to give up.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

SO ARE YOU

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I'm damaged goods now.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Dont be daft

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

*knocks some sense into you*
god, I'm really going to have to get my shit together and come over there just so I can give you a good smack
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I'd like that : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I know you would, you saucy minx

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

That would be the most awesome b3ta related incident since I met The Resident Loon!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Damn right.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I'm getting an erection just thinking of his name.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Sorry for getting in the way of you two.
I wasn't to know.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)

It's alright
I don't begrudge you wanting him.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

You should have stopped me.
You cunt.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

it's all his fault

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I'm sorry

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

what happened then?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

The Resident Loon came to London and I met him
It was fantastic. He gave me a hug and everything.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)

aw yeah, I totally met him once and he totally gave me a hug too
there was a bachelorette party at the bar and the bride-to-be gave a raunchy lap dance in the middle of the floor it was well entertaining
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

if you're watching it'll just be awkward

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Oh I didn't mean that, I just meant you coming to the UK.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

we could totally rock our hips like YEAH

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I'll wear little denim cut offs especially.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

and cowboy boots????

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

For you, I'd even wear a stetson

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

*squeals with glee*

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)

*boaks*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Nonsense
I met you for all of about an hour, you were clearly hanging to hell, and I still thought you were awesome. So shush.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Thank you........I think.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)

The world's missing you
Are you sure you don't want to go back to it?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Nope!
Men are shit.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

well duuuuh but they have a penis and they can kiss you back, gosh

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

There it is boys.
The ultimate chat-up line. "I know I am shit, but I have a penis and can kiss you back."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)

And there are girls too
Too much fun to just say no.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)

totally, cause dildos can't

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

In your face, dildos!
You fucking cocks.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)

;)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I regret
being too open with my feelings in the past.

Hence why I'm insular and terrible at relationships and opening up.

Generally the people I really dig don't dig me.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

because you're a massive cunt?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Pretty much this.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

You are far too passive.
That could be the problem. You should have slapped her - she would have respected you for it.
*sits back and waits for fight*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I'll slap you if you're not careful

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

You'll get one back.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)

on a related note...
About 8 years ago I had a major crush on my next door neighbour for about nine months. We were both single and would go for a drink together, cinema etc. Neither of us either told the other that we were attracted to the other.

So I decided to do the big gesture thing. She was away for a long weekend and had been joking about me doing her helping her decorate/remove wallpaper etc as I wasn’t working at the time. So whilst she was away I hired a steamer and stripped the wallpaper from the entire downstairs of her house(this took 3 days) I put everything back in exactly the right place (even the books back in the same order) and waited for her to get back.

It worked. I got a shag within an hour of her getting home. A year later she broke my heart but that’s another story.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Isnt this a paint advert?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Not to my knowledge - it's a true story.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

No in the advert
he kept redecorating his flat until the girl he was stalking came over to ask him to stop looking at her.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)

With some bent jaunty French tune playing the whole fucking time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Lovely story : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

That's such a nice thing to do
the paper thing, not breaking your heart.

Guys never surprise me with practical things. I don't want more flowers, I want you to help me painting the flat!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Practical things work nine times out of ten in my experience.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Ay! If the rest of the men thought like you!
I think they know, really, but flowers and a card are easier than painting the flat.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Did you rewallpaper?
Or just leave bare walls?... just curious!
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I have given up with efforts as EVERY SINGLE TIME it goes horribly, horribly wrong.
I shall stick with the (sadly rare) drunkenly falling into bed with people approach.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I'm not surprised, you're a bit of a dick.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

hahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Wooks is full of WIN
He's smart and funny and buys me booze and makes me bacon and let's me win at mario kart ;)

You, however, are a blue oyster cunt
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Don't fear the raper

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

*tips hat*
nicely played sir
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

It's funny because he's a rapist*
*might not be a rapist**


**bet he is though
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)

There is no evidence that he is a rapist and he is refusing to answer questions on the matter of his rapistness


Therefore he must be guilty and should be sent to prison forthwith.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)

They'll have to stick him in the nonce wing
otherwise the other prisoners will beat him with bars of soap wrapped in towels
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

He fucking loves that sort of thing
Filthy pervert.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I categorically am not a raper. Being a tubby internet joke I cannot possibly maintain
a level of stamina high enough to successfully initiate and complete a rape. Instead I stay in smearing whiskas on my tiny penis begging my cat to lick it off. In between crying and rubbing spaff into my face.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

TGB hates Bobby shocker
who gives a fuck you crusty insipid shrew.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)

: /

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

that's some strong language sir

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

woah
chilax bobbyboo.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

what it's the only internet it's all lol's.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)

that sentence just made my eyes bleed

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

rather a sentence than a penis!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

oh lawd, true dat

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Aw fanks.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)

You're confusing me being a dick to you with me being a dick in general.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Thanks for helping me work out what I mean. I'm pretty sure you're still a dick.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I can't figure out if you're trying to give as good as you get or if you're just being pissy.
Please make your insults more entertaining.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)

^ this

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)

you decide, I finish at 4 and am going home. You'll have more fun that way anyway.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)

That's fucking SLANDER, gayboy.
You take that back.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

You know, I'm going to be charitable this once.
"Bit of a dick" could be an uncharacteristically subtle way of calling me a helmet, and since helmet is such a brilliant insult I am going to run with this interpretation.

Well played, Bobby.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

OK I don't hate him now.
'Helmet' is undoubtedly a prize winner, it's true.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

this makes me suspicious
also OH HAI MONTY
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Wotcha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I am also fond of 'bellend'.
Go to town, folks.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

If you're staying here saying things like that, I think I will go to town.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Well
hello, young man...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I'm totally THE MAN.
I just went to a client who went ballistic when I put in a £200+100 invoice, the 100 being for something yearly that was up in april; the 200 was for about 6 months work at full-time of features. The payment is due in 4 lots of 200, which now the next lot is due. Apparently I'm a fucking cunt and everything for it, but I don't care about that. The guy is the tightest man I've ever meet when it comes to anyone outside his family... we all get min wage type money; while the family gets double what their counter-parts in other companies are getting.

Anyway, he sold the company, old people are out, new people are in, but it could take months for me to get my money. The manager who I've been dealing with, who wasn't there at the start, and thinks he's out of a job too, told me to go in tomorow with a technical documentation about what I've done. I said to him, "I'm not routhless in buisness, you know this, but just so you know, I currently own that website printed on all those documents, and I can charge what I want for it. What happens if you don't pay the telephone? the electrictiy? Listen, I don't want to go down that road, but you know where it leads, that domain is worth a lot, and I can easerly revert back to what has been paid for and provide a zip file for you to do what you want with, and leave you to do what you guys want".

The manager guy who I'm dealing with said he would have done that a long time ago if the boot was on the other foot.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Fuck that shit up Gonz.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Good for you Gonz. You have to stand up for yourself when it comes to money.
In other news - the freelancer has responded to my Linkedin message and is returning the company laptop tomorrow!
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Woop!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

huzzah!
Possibly LinkedIn's first ever success story!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I'm skeptical until you update post tomorrow

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I'm sceptical about your spelling ability.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

you da man

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Make him pay Gonz
MAKE ALL OF THEM PAY
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Says the accountant.

( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)

It's our motto

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I thought that was Inland Revenue.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

*sigh*
I adored a family friend i'd known from birth...

He was 16, rode motorcross, was an expert in Jaguar engines and the guy I'd be told I would marry since first meeting him.

He got killed in a car accident by a 40yr old tosser showing off his car. And I could say 100% if it could be done I'd get rid of any guy just to be with him and after four years I've honestly thought about him everyday..

If only I could tell him..

It probably saved me the rejection tbf!
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

being rejected isn't nearly as heartbreaking as losing a loved one forever
this is so sad :(((
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Being rejected it's not so bad
You just have to keep trying, or find someone else.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I read in a book once, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'rejection is the worst, no matter what the reason is, somebody doesn't want you. doesn't matter what the reason it, or what you have to give, they don't and never will want you'

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Oh, that's so sad
I'm sorry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Thanks. Maybe I should just MTFU! (or should have back then)
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Nah, given the apparent size of your tits
he wouldn't have missed the opportunity to tap that.

I heard he would have wiped his cock on the curtains afterwards though.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

It would have been worth it :P
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Especially if you have cheap student curtains

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I have blinds. They're black though so would shimmer in the light.
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I bet the jizz stains would look like clouds
you could lie in bed and imagine you were looking at heaven.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

If he could make jizz clouds I wouldn't need to look into heaven. Silly.
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

holy shit is this one of those girls I've heard about?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

IT'S YOUR CHANCE CHOMPY!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Just so happens I'm a reincarnated Jaguar repair man.
/even I feel bad posting that
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Oh man that's low
Edit: And no-one's said "Fuck off, Bert"?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

I don't think bert could have lasted 2 years without outing himself.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Could you fix my jag?
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Yeah, *breathes through teeth* but it'll cost ya.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Do I get roses on valentines day whilst I sleep with your mate?
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

lolololol the only person you've ever loved is dead.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)

And do you feel bad about this one too?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Nah, baptism of fire innit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Do I still get the roses?

(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

No, lillies.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Harsh
I'm tempted to give a girl moss at some point and see how that goes.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

After that it can only get better?

(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Unless she was a bit mental
I really don't think it would get much past that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

You could always try killing the person she loves in a hit and run?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Nah, Chompy appears to have tried that already
And it doesn't seem to have worked.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Bindun

(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

It's a start.

(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I've just stalking your posts on /talk
Sexface hits on you on your first ever post.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6939702#post6939712
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Yea... err I didn't get along very well over there..
I retreated rather quickly.
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Classic Sexface

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

He's like a universal constant.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

And I felt special

(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I thought I'd been ever so slightly accepted
Back to QOTW for me :P
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Don't run away you pussy.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Is that what you say to all the girls?

(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Yes,
anyway there's a new thread now
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Oh, you're accepted.
I have also been chatted up by Sexface.

Well, I say, chatted up...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

He needs a little more style and finesse.
Though he never did gaz me that pic.. Rejection?
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Oh, you'll learn. You'll learn.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I've been here 2 yrs
Still non the wiser!
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

chatted up penetrated

Seemed a bit easy that one.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

A bit easy?
True, but harsh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Do you mean one with breasts?
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Right, I'm prepared to give you a chance not to be shit.
But please write in the subject line, the unbolded text makes me think you're whispering.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Maybe I am
whispering.. not shit.

Though that's debatable.
(MissFlee tried again on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I bet you checked for mouseovers as well

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I remember back when I was at school
A girl I knew giving me a note saying that she liked me. The only slight issue was that I fancied her older, and quite incredibly cute, sister at the time. I told her no. Her sister told me no. Everyone ended up alone.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

boys are jerks
lol
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

At school I fancied Laura Phillips
And she liked me too, but my friends teased me for liking a girl so I told her I didn't fancy her and she was really upset.

I saw her in WHSmith a few years ago, she had become very plain looking and had put on a lot of weight.

Think I dodged a bullet there.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

She never got over the rejection
and completely let herself slide into frumpy spinsterdom

*Highfives*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

*fistbumps*
I like the idea of destroying her life at the age of 11.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

It's like you're competing with Josef Fritzl!

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

The Fritz ain't got nothing on me.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

You mean you've transformed your basement AND your loft for such purposes?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)

She told me she always thought you were a fat gaylord

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

*Insert picture of Leonardo DiCaprio narrowing his eyes*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

just the one!
he came up on facebook as someone i might know the other night. i was tempted enough to give his name a quick click but not to add/poke/email him. what really really got to me were the "likes", which could have been written by me, we always did have exactly the same brain. now it has actually made me think about what he might be like these days, when prior to that i hadn't given him more than fleeting thoughts in years...

facebook is dangerous, sometimes "past" should be "passed" and left there!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

"..what really really got to me were the "likes", which could have been written by me."
But would you really want a man who had loads of pink gym equipment?
(Cave Duck, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

haha
you sarky twat! much deeper and more ephemeral things than that. like "family guy".

you could have put the two of us in separate rooms and made us watch 24 hours of something and we would have quoted the exact same lines at the end of it. oh god. maybe i should poke him. but then he might be married by now, and this would upset me, however irrational that is. but then again...

THIS IS WHY FACEBOOK SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO SUGGEST THINGS. IT IS TORTUOUS AND WRONG.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

TO SUGGEST THINGS. IT IS TORTUOUS AND WRONG.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)

I got a friend suggestion by someone on here, added the person when I was wasted
still haven't a clue who the hell they are
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

They weren't me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)

I thought it could be you for a mo
but alas
still clueless
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

facebook is shit

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

*thows 'I hate Badger' badge away*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)

I just remembered
You poked me on FB a month or two ago. It alarmed me, but in a nice way, so I poked back.

No response.

It was the same feeling as when I get a call from an old friend, and answer all excitedly, only to hear them walking down the street. Fucking pocket calls. You pocketpoked me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)

is this because
you asked me to be your friend and i sat on the request for ages because i hardly ever go on it, and then you posted something on here about having added me, so i felt guilty and gave you a sympathy-poke?

i am shit at facebook, sorry.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Face it Swipe
You're just being a massive tease again, getting people's hopes up and then just dashing them to hell.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

whoa hold your horses
or penguins, as the case may be. when did i ever do that??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Oh come on!
Bobby has had his nob out for days now.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

that's his default setting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

EVERY DAY SWIPES! EVERY GODDAMMNED DAY!
You're here with your helpful "legal advice" and "chirpy good humour" being all "friendly" and you know that all I really want to do is grab you and kiss you and push you down onto the kitchen table and rip open your shirt and then squirt helmans squeezy mayonaisse on your chest and follow it up with some Reggae Reggae ketchup and then get some pork chops and marinade them there for about 45 minutes and the fry them in a big griddle pan and serve them with some curly leaf Kale covered in garlic butter.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

It's POTD, folks

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I don't think that's accolade enough

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

No really, you're too kind.
Sorry I haven't replied to your gaz, I'm really tempted but it would be a totally silly purchase and I really don't have the cash so I'm going to so no thank you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Quite alright
Thought I might as well offer when you were talking about it last night. If I was loaded I would probably give it away, but I'm not, so I won't
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

i don't know whether to laugh or cry
or seek an injunction...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

*waves bottles of condiments*
*waggles eyebrows*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

oh god don't
i had to stop things with someone quite promising because he kept texting/emailing THAT EXACT PHRASE.

it nearly killed me. the phrase, not the stopping it. i'm a cold-hearted bitch about that sort of thing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Somebody actually texted you with the phrase
*waves bottles of condiments*?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)

It's a strange idea certainly.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:45, Reply)

nooooo
the eyebrow waggling shit. it makes me think of pervy old men dressed as father christmas. and noone needs that image.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Especially not you
Since you've probably experienced it first hand.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I sure do!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Good excuse to chuck your sauce all over the kitchen ceiling, I suppose.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Maybe I'll combine this with a present off moss

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Oh, a sympathy poke, huh?
Well, ok I can accept that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

you loved it, bitch!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)