HoN
Straight in at 17 get in.

*Some joke about popping my cherry that's been used numerous times before*
(Wilesyo, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 8:42, Reply)

Hot or Not.
People of B3ta, if you get lots of low scores even though people don't turn to stone or recoil in horror when they look at you, it's because you are attractive, and the people rating you feel threatened by it.

I was on a personals site. There are normal people on there, honest.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 8:35, Reply)

i had sex last night
and i think i may be reading too many of legless' stories on here as, as i was doing it, i was running through what i was doing as a story in my head.
you know the type ... "i held his engorged member as i slipped it into ... "
that's so wrong.
anyway, to keep it on topic, i haven't ever actually answered or put up a personal ad, but i have met a fair few people on the old yahoo indie: 1 chatroom. i have the feeling i may have been the rooms bike.
that's sad.
but i'm all settled down with someone i met on myspace now ! actually, i think only one of my long term boyfriends i actually met in real life first.
oh dear.
sorry for the rambling nonsensicalness. it's monday morning.
(Jim the Cat, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 8:34, Reply)

Well I'm on the b3tan scoreboard
so validate my massive ego. TELL ME I DESERVE TO BE LOVED. Or something. My picture's not very emo, though, sorry.

Also, there are some incredibly hot women on here.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 7:52, Reply)

photos?
I replied to an ad on a site & got a reply meant for someone else: 'Greta' apparently had 'enjoyed my BDSM story' and 'did i like the photos she'd done to accompany the story?'
what to do?
so, naturally i said yes, and, did she have more?
and so entered into a 3month+ correspondence in which i wrote bdsm stories & greta provided the pics.......
she suggested we meet but needed to know where i lived first, sniffing the rodent i said arizona. 'Aw, i live in new york' came the reply.
i'm visiting NY in fall, ses I. Darn it ses Greta i'm moving to england-near to a dungeon in weymouth, dorset.
spooky coincidence ses I, but I may be there in the royal town of weymouth next year, see you by the quay?
a cat n mouse of hunt the geography ensued-not weymouth england, but, dusseldorf, germany or budapest....
the pics continued and I continued to pillage the bdsm sites for stories and naturally I made sure my non bdsm fantasies got a work out to...
& then, hunting down more bizarre stories i found a site that seemed uncanny: there were stories and pics; my stories (well I had borrowed them & made them suit my warped senses) plus pics of 'Susy' but the head shots were different!!!
I fronted Greta up via a snotty email and yep, greta was graham with good photoshop skills, Greta was Susy who he was chasing with my stories............and she was providing the pics.
10 out of 10 for effort i sed and we parted company, though i still idly flick by now & then to see if susy has more stories.
(mickturate if i could be arsed i'd be bored, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 6:08, Reply)

HoN. Again.
I'm on there as kingdomcomengo, currently waaaay back at 55th.
(Betsy Braddock Thee before thine, except after thou., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 6:07, Reply)

Honesty is everything
There was an ad in the local rag some years ago that everyone cut out and put on their fridge.

"Wanted - woman with boat. Must be reasonably attractive, like fishing, cleaning fish, cooking, and cleaning. Letters to PO box etc etc, MUST SEND PICTURE OF BOAT."

We can only hope he was successful.
(hixy, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 2:57, Reply)

woot
im in the top 10 :) and im an ugly bugger lmao!! - scottishguy1983 :)
(meh! bored since, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 1:30, Reply)

Post operative therapy?
Young man, presently in traction, wishing to meet young lady with acrobatic experience.

The mind boggles.
(Cogitator, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 1:04, Reply)

Not quite a personal ad...
No one is going to believe this is real, I've still got it lying around somewhere though so will try and find it again some time.



Swiped off the for sale/wanted board in Portsmouth Tescos during the second year of uni (about 2 years ago now).

I laughed so hard I almost pee'd.
(UranusHertz is interested in astronomy and electronics, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 0:17, Reply)

Hot or Not news
Are we going to get loads of weirdo gimboids messaging us now that we've put our pics up?

Hey folks, it is NOT compulsory to join the "Meet Me" bit of the site - there's a checkbox when you join which you have to deselect. If you didn't do that, you can go to your account and click Edit Profile - there's a button marked Deactivate.

Well, I fucking got what I deserved - a piddling 6.1 on my *best* picture. Yiz are all cunts. On the other hand, all you guys who drool over Rachelswipe had better get over there and start voting, cos she's only two ranks above me at 25th! Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed is not in the top ten simply because he hasn't got enough votes yet (he's a 10, but I gave a 9 because I'm an academic and 10s are never used), and apeloverage is firmly ensconced at #10.

Get in:
scoreboards.hotornot.com/b3tards?invite=6620E955GLSQHL
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 23:51, Reply)

Waving a hand from inside the closet
While perusing my emails one afternoon, deleting the automated turd send out by sites such as Bebo (apparently, my account has been added on there, despite having never made one), I happened upon an email sent via a friend's hotmail account from ladsoncam.com (evidently NSFW), inviting me - and almost every male in our 6th form - to join him on the site.

The link to the subject of this QOTW is tenuous, given that I never read his personal ad, nor anyone else's, and I didn't make an account of my own and make fantastic discoveries of my sexuality. Which is a shame given that it'd lend this story a bit more interest. Anyway, within days he came out of the closet - effectively through that email. Subtlety never was his forté.
(Gammon Rod A not-so-distant relative of the Crimson Helm, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 23:22, Reply)

Humm...
Mikey Boy is Bang_the_Drums2.

tis an old photo!
(Bang_the_Drums an ending fitting for the start, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 22:01, Reply)

Jesus Christ,
what have I started?
(The Ghost of Stephen Foster, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 21:57, Reply)

Independent on Sunday
Somneone on the SIndy is a b3tan, I think - Tim Minogue, I'm looking at you. There's something in there today about (ahem) witty personal ads. And a couple of weeks ago there was another story strikingly similar to the contemprary QOTW. (Can't remember what it was - been to sleep since then - but I do remember thinking, "Ah! I recognise that!")
Congratulations, guys! Quality journalism at its sharpest.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 21:56, Reply)

added myself to the HoN list...
ihave been with mrs Az since before there was an internet, so i have luckily avoided the woes of internets and out of date pictures..

did fuck a bird in teh middle of camden lock for a dare once.. 2 pm on a summer sunday, she just wouldnt say no, was the only way to shut her up..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 21:19, Reply)

THIS
Hi. My name is Yamen. I like women's parts and enjoy long walks on the bitch.
(abignumber, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 21:15, Reply)

Single male
Interests include water polo, wind surfing and freestyle jazz singing

I never should of condensed it down to "enjoys watersport and scat"

:shudders
(sL1mB0y, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 21:01, Reply)

Another Suggestion...
How about a B3ta Personal Ad's section...."Goatse male seeks girl for nights in listening to Teh Quo and looking at CDC"....I think we're on to a winner here.
(drain_bamaged, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 20:33, Reply)

As I mentioned already
I've been known to swing occasionally and the majority of those I've met are lovely, genuine people who may well be your friends or relatives but as you may have noticed there are the occasional ones who raise an eyebrow or two. Including those with one leg who fail to mention it until everyone is removing their clothes and he begins to remove his leg too!!
('O' She's my rolemodel!, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 20:28, Reply)

this woman clearly doesn't mess about
found on the dating part of craigslist

If you are:
over 40
single
Caucasian
British nationality
fit
reasonably attractive
ready for marriage/partnership

Please reply with description.
( McBadger COW, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 20:05, Reply)

I once saw an ad in the Irish Farmers Journal.
"Co Offaly woman, 18, seeks man of any age, preferably potato farmer."
And then it gave a box number.
Nothing else.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 19:58, Reply)

A suggestion
Can i suggest a B3ta personal ads competition?

With some kinda prize, for the ad that gets hit on the most....or something.

Im a lazy underachiever.


Also never meet random single women on the internet they ALWAYS have had a kid or two.
(Staffs Giraffe, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 19:47, Reply)

Depressed
This was in the Metro (a free newspaper)in Sheffield a few months back

Depressed female WLTM depressed male
(AgentPunk, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 19:10, Reply)

Enjoys Watersports
To save anyone from the awful experience I encountered: when responding to personal ads, watersports does not, unfortunately, mean that the person in question is interested in swimming, water-skiing, or even water polo.

I'm still carrying the scars from that night.
(reech, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 19:01, Reply)

I posted mine.
4.5! I'm not that bad, am I?!
( Bats, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 18:42, Reply)

HoN
Heh. I looked up my old picture- it's still up there, as oldforger- and posted it. I'm now at the top of the list.

Okay, b3tards! Catch up to me!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 16 Sep 2007, 17:57, Reply)

not exactly a personal add but along the same vein and worth a share
A couple of friends of mine whilst under the influence of substances decided to make up a Myspace profile for known tearful British sports heroine Ellen Macarthur. As she spends a lot of time crying alone into a little camera they deduced she could only be a massive emo.Thus they made a profile befitting such a character listing as many ridiculous emo bands as they could think of as her favourite music. To be honest it wasn't all that funny, only producing a few titters from all those around. That was until the lesbians...

Within a couple of days this obviously fake profile was flooded with lesbians flirting with 'ellen' and telling her what an inspiration she is.Most of them were pretty unreal in that ridiculous manly way you get with some lesbians. (also they were all huge sandra bullock fans).

The profile got about 5 personal messages a day along these lines and picked up a couple of "myspace stalkers".

Despite the fact that under general interests it said "sitting in my boat and crying".
I will try and find the url and link it as i think its still going after 2 years.
(Monkeyofspong, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 17:13, Reply)

cockpics - just say no kids.
We set up a dating page for one of our female mates back in the day when it was only the norm for hideous badger faced physcotic crazy people to use them, within a week we were subjected to an assortment of cockpics (some hideous, some tiny and one which could only be described as having some sort of funghi attached to it). All the people who seemed to reply/email us were clearly between 40-70, overweight and had some sort of manic glint in there eyes. We were proposed twice, and lets not even get into the spam we recieved.

Ever since seeing what some of the people using the internet actually look like, ive vowed never to even consider dating over the net *shudder*
(squareheadedfreak, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 17:00, Reply)