My baby brother
On hearing he Pat Sharp cover of I haven't Stopped Dancing Yet asked me earnestly, "Is it 'My hands have stopped dancing' or 'My hounds have stopped dancing'?"

And my best mate was driving along happily singing to Missy Elliott's Get Your Freak On, only he was singing "Get your free cone."

Daft buggers.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 0:23, Reply)

On the subject of 'Grease'
'Maintain my erection' as opposed to 'Meditate in my direction', anyone? That mis-hearing caused a rather embarassing moment in high school drama class for one wannabe-musical-star-aquaintence.

And of course, on a different note (bindun I expect), 'Excuse me while I kiss this guy'. Say no more...
( spacehog, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 0:20, Reply)

Seaman Gabber...
The "drivel" you refer to is Sinnerman by Nina Simone.

Remixed here by Felix Da Housecat:

www.dance-c.co.uk/showvids.asp?vidref=nina001

And a damned fine tune it is (even for a devout atheist like myself).
( randompunter, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 0:18, Reply)

Multiplying Shoes
My Auntie used to watch the film 'Grease' and enthusiastically sing along with John Travolta - 'I've got shooooes, they're multiplying. And I'm loooosing control'

Conjures up some wonderful images don't it. Stupid woman.
(1st Post. WooHoo - Hello Everyone)
(The Baron, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 0:15, Reply)

I forget the name of the song, but it had some scat bloke doing something along the lines of 'eeee bip bap badda-bom'. I always thought it was 'he bopped the Buddha's bum'.
Well, it is a very boppable bum.
(The_Epitome, Fri 28 Jan 2005, 0:08, Reply)

I can't remember who sang it...
but the origional started "Oh place your hands on my soul.". I used to change the word "hands" to pants" throughout at the disco.
Put your pants on! Put your pants on!
( mikeyyy, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:44, Reply)

Ooo.....my first post!
I used to work with a guy who was a bit of a spaz. He thought that the Verve's classic "The Drugs Don't Work" was in fact, "The Trucks Don't Work".
Even after his mistake was pointed out to him he refused to accept it.
(PenrhynGwyndaf, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:37, Reply)

Elton John
One of my favourite things to do whenever "Don't let the sun go down on me" comes onto the radio, is to sing the chorus at the top of my lungs.

"Don't let your son go down on me
He's got useless hair, nothing more or less I see
(mumble mumble... haven't figured out anything to go here)
And losing everything is like your son going down on me!"
(dragonrose, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:35, Reply)

To continue the theme of one per decade
Fragma. Toca's Miracle.
Or, as we sang for large sections of summer 2000:
"And you know Iiii
I need a minibus
I need a minibus
Ain't no fizzy fish or broken knees
to keep from you"

... and onwards in the same vein ...
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:30, Reply)

Queen
Anti-russian headlock, down the highway,
Anti-russian headlock, out of control...

CLICK
 
( NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:25, Reply)

Bring back the 70's all is forgiven
and good old Reg Dwight.

"Oh golly it looks like Daniel, must be the clowns in my eyes"


( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:24, Reply)

To the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan's "He is an Englishman"
We used to sing this in my Gilbert and Sullivan Society. It may have been what led me to adopt my b3ta nickname. However, it wasn't about me, but rather Sid, a tiny-headed loon who joined the society.

Here he is.

He iiiiis a giant squiiiiiiid!
For he himself has said it
And it's greatly to his credit
That he is a giant squid!
(That he is a giant squid)

For he might have been a flatfish
A cuttle-, dog- or catfish
Or perhaps a small aphid
(Or perhaps a small aphid)

But, in spite of all entreaties
To belong to other species
He remains a giant squid
He remaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins a giant squid!
( giant_squid, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:22, Reply)

work in a playschool with young irritating kids
then you get to sabotage some old classics:

Grey and grey-y and grey and grey,
Grey-y and grey-y and grey,
I've got colour blindness
Colour blindness
Colour blindness too.
( mikeyyy, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:20, Reply)

Classic from the mid-90's
Dubstar "Not So Manic Now".

For ages I cheerfully sang "I was making myself my usual cup of tea, when the dog bounced strangely round..."
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:20, Reply)

Steps came on radio, and i swear i heard
Tradgedy, when you sing this song , and it all goes wrong, its tradgedy

i'm dyslexic, so excuse the shite spelling - or: fuck off you pedantic cunts :)
(VashTheStampede http://www.b3ta.com/features/howtopoachanegg/, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:17, Reply)

He's dying!!
There was a song a few years back that I forget the name of. I also forget the artist. But you'll know it - it's the one that went "I'm horny all night long", and "I'm horny! Horny horny horny! So horny..." etc etc.

Anyway, rather than "I'm horny all night long", my younger brother thought it was "I'm burning, oh my god".

Needless to say, when he ran round the house singing "I'm burning, oh my god!", we didn't really care. Shame it wasn't true.

My younger sibling is Satan incarnate.
( Detrius521, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 23:06, Reply)

meatloaf
Gonna hit the highway like a battering ram
I'm a cilla black fan on a bike
(1st team orc, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:58, Reply)

Not a cheesy Anthem but a brilliant chant
When I worked at BT Marine laying underwater cables my absolutely brilliant Boss came up with the following slogan - we all used to chant in the office most days :

We will lay anything, anytime, anywhere.......deeper than anyone else

We had t-shirts made, corporate pens signwrited, you name it. The punters loved it too.

I still have the t-shirt (Hmmm, may put it on my website sometime)
( Tiggy the diver, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:55, Reply)

Shania probably didn't mean this!
tune - "man I feel like a woman"
"Give it some action
Put her in traction
Cum in her hair
Do what I dare!
Man I feel like a woman!"

Grunties
(1st team orc, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:51, Reply)

I'm sure this has bindun...
He's got the whole world in his pants
He's got the whole wide world in his pants
(sqrrl101, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:46, Reply)

hillbilly town song
i work in an awful place where the perils of inbreeding are on public display.this is an apropriate song for the horrible sods

your father shagged your sister
your mother shags your uncle
your granny shags your brother
the(insert hillbilly town here)family

sung to adams family
(discodaz *generic witty comment*, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:40, Reply)

If you're happy and you know it....
crap your pants.
( Muns, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:38, Reply)

Bohemian Rhapsody- Counter Strike version (it works!)
Are you a camper
Are you just a n00b
Caught in my crosshair
No escape from a headshot-
All of your base
Are belong to us you n00b
You’re just a cheater, nobody loves you
Like to empty clip, then reload
Aimed at me? Little low…
I’ll get you the next round, just you wait and see
No-one is L337er than me…

Ha ha, I just fragged you,
Put a deagle against your head,
Pull my trigger, now you’re dead,
Ha ha. L337er than you
I just threw my aug carbine away-
Ha ha you n00b,
Bring it on- just you try-
If I’m on this server again tomorrow-
I’ll own all of you tards, none of you are any good-

Too late, your reflexes suck,
I shot you in the spine-
lowest ping all of the time,
Goodbye you asstards –I’m idling-
Gotta leave you all online and take a pee -
Ha ha you n00b- (take it, bi0tch)
I want the Ts die,
I sometimes wish I’d never respawned at all-

I see a newbie of a counter terrorist,
Camper, camper, you are a base camper-
Frag grenade and flashbang-very very brightening screen-
Autosniper, autosniper,
Autosniper, autosniper
Autosniper and AK-what a shot-
I’m totally l337 and I own this server-
No you’re not, you’re just another newbie-
Go find another game, you dick-
You’re blatantly hacking go and fuck yourself-
Fuck you right back! I will not fuck myself- fuck yourself-
Fuck you back! I will not fuck myself- fuck yourself-
Fuck you back! I will not fuck myself- fuck yourself-
I will not fuck myself- fuck yourself-
I will not fuck myself- fuck yourself-
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Screw it this server sucks- I am off now
That sniper has a bullet put aside for me, for me, for me-

So you think you can kill me and shoot at my corpse-
So I know I can frag you and leave you to die-
MP5-not bad at one and half grand-
Just gotta frag one more to be at the top-

I do really pwn ass,
Anyone can see,
No-one really pwns, no-one really pwns, quite like me.

Any way I frag you….
(sqrrl101, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:29, Reply)

vanman
To the tune of Gary Glitter's "I'm the leader of the gang"

Do you wanna come in my van, my van, my van?
Do you wanna come in my van?
Oh yeah
I'm a peeedo, I'm a peeeeedo
I'm a pedo with a dirty van...

...etc.

Strangely - this version was dreamed up years before his accusations.

Funny old world.
( moonjam, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:16, Reply)

in re. Amazongirl's clapping song
I know the whole thing--'least I think it's the whole thing. Lord I can't believe I remember this:

Down by the river in the hanky-panky/
where the bullfrogs jump from bank to bank/
I say e, i, oh, you, /
your mother stinks and so do you/
ping, pong, ding, dong/
your father smells like king, kong, /
went to school with nothing on/
ask the teacher, what to wear?/
Polka-dotted underwear./
Not too big and/
Not too small/
Just the size of city hall. /
(fantastic german, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:15, Reply)

travis - driftwood // papa roach - last resort
no man is an island but fat fuck comes quite close - there is a wole resat of the song, but i cant remember it - my brother wrote it ages ago

papa roach - last resort, last dessert

cut my cake into peices, this is my last dessert
sugar coating, cream filling, dont give a fuck if i cant give up eating

would it be wrong, would it be right, if i ate again tonight, chances are that i might,
losing no weight, eating real fine
Wish somebody would help me get thin
this food is alright, eating's real fine
not running and I'm crying
I never thought you could spread cheese so thin
Till it was too late and I was full within
Hungry, feeding on waste and living out of bins
Downward spiral, where do I begin
It all started when I'd had my supper,
a big meal for myself and still room for another,
Searching to find a food upon a higher level
Finding nothing but steps you bunch of devils
losing no weight, eating real fine
Wish somebody would help me get thin
this food is alright, eating's real fine
not running and I'm crying
i cant go on eating this way!

anyhow, back to revising, bastards
(VashTheStampede http://www.b3ta.com/features/howtopoachanegg/, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:13, Reply)

I believe in milko
doo doo
Where you from? you sexy thing~
I believe in milko
doo doo.

Then somebody told me it was miracles. "Ah!" I though, "that does make sense".
(Catfish Ma, why can't I draw? "Because you have fins dear", Thu 27 Jan 2005, 22:01, Reply)

Tori Amos - Professional Widow
Having beans on toast tonight
Having beans on toast tonight
Scabby Bitch
Bag of Chips
Saggy Tits
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Thu 27 Jan 2005, 21:41, Reply)

German German Overalls
When aged about 12 we succeeded in mobilising enough of the school to sing the German national anthem instead of 'Joyful Things Of Thee Are Spoken' in a school assembly, that we could be clearly heard.
Fortunately the school was Christian enough for the headmaster to take offence.
( PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Thu 27 Jan 2005, 21:39, Reply)