me and my brother
have a series of one pound bets going on.
at a family wedding a few weekends ago he bet me a pound for every jug (big table jugs) of water I could drink. seen as these were all just stacked up on the bar having just been filled and waiting to be delivered to the table, I walked up and downed one looking the barman in the eye. unfortunatly that was just too much water.

In the park for the photos I bet him a pound to eat a holly leaf whole, turned his teeth and mouth green for the photos.

on the way back to the venue he bet me to goto try and buy drugs off a parked ice cream man but really really subtly.
"have you got any ..........smarties?" etc with much raised eyebrows.
things get hazy after that....
( Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 1 Nov 2007, 23:26, Reply)

One in progress.
Kinda fits in. ish
wanted to put it in somewhere.
this tale of woe begins on friday night (last friday night to be precise) and as you do i was having a few beers. a few beers then turned into a bottle of wine. for what reason ill never know.
somewhere during the bottle of wine someone mentions facebook groups and changing their sons name to batman or something mental scaring like that.
so of course i have to chip in.
"if i got 100,000 people id change my name to kate nash"
of course dickhead friends have to chip in "go on then"
so i go round the pub promoting my cause.
wake up and everything thing is normal.
until
i get several facebook adds.
"wheres the kate nash group"
not being one to back out of a drunken bet.
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5562657927
600 people in less than a week.
im scared.
i like my name.
length? it wont matter if i have to change my bloody name to kate.
(im a guy btw)
(MD-Mnmlst, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 22:34, 4 replies)

Will somebody please...
...dare me to do something crazy so that I've got a good story for this qotw?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 21:52, 18 replies)

Old Man
i was about 10 and was in the park one day playing with water bombs with my mates. We then spotted this cricket match going on nearby, so we walked over. It wasnt intresting so we went off in the other direction home and on the route we see an old man... alone... watching the cricket.

So then someone dared one of us to throw a water bomb at him. We couldnt decide who to choose so we did ipidipadation my operation blah blah... and im the last one out! shite! i didnt want to get this guy right on his tweed cap but i thought fuck it and dossed the water bomb right at his head and legged it as fast as i could! I have never laughed so much and today i wonder what he is thinking - 'those little cnuts, if i ever see them again!!1 raarrararetc. I still feel bad for doing it though :(
(neorockz :), Thu 1 Nov 2007, 21:44, 1 reply)

vomit
This one time.....seriously, anyway we were at this night out. It was a hired out town hall for 18+ metal night. well it hadnt been well advertised and there was only about 20 people there.... WE were bored.... very bored...

So we decide to take an empty pint glass and mop up all the beer, vodka, ash ect off the table with one of them rank bar cloths and squeeze it back into the glass. We then dared our friend Norm (not real name) to drink it for £4.... which he did. He promtly ran to the bathroom with the pint glass and proceeded to vomit an entire pint of vomit into the glass.

Which we then dared some random kid to drink.
" drink this and we'll give you a fiver"
"whats in it?"
"oh just a mixture of beer vodka and a bit of everyones drinks really"
"its warm"
"uh yeah its been stood on the table for a while"
"ok sure".. gulp... gulp...gulp...
"hahahaha that was a pint of Norms vomit hahahaha"
poor kid just looked perplexed and wandered off in some kind off disbeliveing daze... he never did remember to ask for his fiver tho.
(Serbitar Has a furry shit canon called Whitey., Thu 1 Nov 2007, 21:32, Reply)

Friend of mine
dared, during one particularly boring maths lesson, to eat ten paracetamol.

How they laughed after he had. He told me of his feat. My reply?

"Don't you know that overdosing on paracetamol breaks down your liver, and will kill you?"

He got his stomach pumped pretty quickly.

Made the lesson exciting at least.
(CatfaceJones, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 21:28, 6 replies)

Buffalo wings!
My friend Pat was at the University of Buffalo about the time that the chicken wing craze started- you know, the ones with the hot sauce and blue cheese dressing. I don't know what they're called in England, but here they're called Buffalo wings as that's where they were first made.

The football team used to go to one bar in particular and order the wings as hot as the cook could make them. No matter what the guy did, they would always eat the things with a full beer in front of them that they wouldn't touch until the wings were finished, and would grin at the cook through the sauce. This infuriated the cook to no end, as he was proud of his volcanic wings.

One day they went in there and the cook saw them arrive and cooked up a few dozen wings, then brought them over. "These ones are on me, boys."

They each took a bite out of a wing, their eyes all lit up as one and they all grabbed fast for their beers. Pat only ate the one wing, but one of the guys was so determined that he ate the entire dozen.

It seems that the cook had gone to an Asian store and gotten some sort of concentrated pepper paste, had marinated the wings in them overnight, then diluted it just enough to make a sauce that he poured over the wings.

The football team all had blisters on their lips and tongues from the stuff, not to mention a major case of flaming anus.

They never dared that cook again.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 1 Nov 2007, 21:20, 5 replies)

I don't know if this counts as a 'dare'..
I once stole 2 fags off of a mate and told him I wouldn't give them back unless he ate a whole raw potato.
It's fun watching people eat raw potatoes...
(The_Boob Is addicted to Super crazy guitar maniac deluxe 2, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 21:02, 5 replies)

Bike Gangs
Being a tomboy and loving my old bike back when I was around 11. My best friends and I were riding, jumping curbs, and being rather "stuntish" when we decided we needed bigger thrills. A quick trip to the park was made where we assualted picnic tables and slides with our bmxleetness mad skillz. Still, our quest for greatness lead us to start daring each other to try more insane stunts. Eventually it lead to us making a ramp out of some old lumber and cinderblocks and daring Mike, since it was his turn to be the stunt monkey, to use it and jump across the creek which was like a huge 6 feet across! Off he peddles like a madman, hunkering low for aerodynamics and off into the air he flies. Only to come up about a foot short and smack into the far side, bending the front tire of his bike and depositing him so ungracefully into the bushes. Much laughter ensued despite his cursing at ruining his bike. Then it was my turn and I was dared for the same jump since it was the first failure of our outing, this was our gordian knot. Off I peddled and turned around. I recall hitting the ramp, going airborn, clearing the creek and landing where my front tire promptly found a rut, turned sideways, flung me off my seat, introduced the handlebars to my mouth and then the bike flew over me as I lay there in more pain than I ever had been in my life. I had made the jump but had managed to knock out my lower front 6 teeth and bust my chin open. Lots of dentist/doctor bills later, 6 new fake teeth in place, and a scar on my chin that reminds me of my short lived reign as stunt queen each time I look in the mirror. Never jumped my bike again.

Length? 6 feet + landing tumble but it felt like 30.
( kitty minion Babies ate my dingo!, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 20:55, 1 reply)

This one's from a while ago.
I was on the pool team. We were fairly rubbish, but had bonded well, and spent a fair few hours in the pub together. When bored with pool, we used to play cards, and used to set each other forfeits. One example is that of my brother who had to crawl the whole length of the pub one night grunting like a pig, and did.

On this particular occasion I lost at cards and my forfeit was to be 7-balled at pool by the pub landlady (for those who don't play pool this means that I would be utterly humiliated as my opponent potted all her balls, and I would pot none.) Now I reckoned I was a bit of a hot-shot at pool, I'd recently had a trial for West Yorkshire, had not got on the team, but had 7-balled an opponent and came away with my pride intact. Maureen, for that was the landlady's name, was completely crap at pool and was only allowed to play to make the numbers up if we were short of players.

My dare then was terrible, as one of the "best" players to be completely twatted by the worst, it was a dare of horrifying magnitude and for 3 weeks I could not for the life in me achieve my goal as whenever I played her, Maureen would always accidentally pot one of my balls. (I told you she was crap)

Fast forward to Christmas Eve 1991. I lived alone with my Gran and I was woken up this day by her cleaner with the news that Gran had fallen on the floor and wouldn't wake up.

A frantic day ensued. I drove at 90mph behind the ambulance to the hospital, alerted other members of the family, and we found out she'd had a stroke. After hanging around in the hospital for a few hours I was told by my parents to go and do all the dropping off presents and stuff I'd planned to do today as I couldn't be of any use there. 3 hours later Gran was dead. I found out at a family friend's house by accident as the friend thought I already knew.

After seeing my Mum and Dad I drove back to my now empty house. It got to about 7 O'clock and knew I couldn't stay in there alone as it would do my head in. I packed up a book and walked to my local to hide in a corner and read, but just be around people. I still had to go back home afterwards, but at least I would be somewhere warm and friendly.

Well. Scouse Bill gave me a bollocking after seeing me driving so fast that morning, and despite Maureen's desperate attempts to shut him up he still insisted on calling me a "fucking nutter" who had no right to drive that fast no matter what the circumstances. Maureen eventually tried to take the heat off me by challenging me to a game of pool. She knew I liked pool, and the scouser would now leave me alone.

I did start out trying to win, but my heart just wasn't in it. Maureen potted a ball, I missed. Maureen potted another, I missed again, and the pattern continued. I had 7 balls left on the table, Maureen had 3, when I had a brainwave. "I know", I thought "I'll get that forfeit out of the way". I then proceeded to play the worst game of my entire life as I let Maureen (whose skill by now had disappeared) beat me, humiliate me, and make me write my name onto the C_________ Inn's 7-Ball Wall of Shame.

Rather than look elated by her fantastic win Maureen looked rather downcast. I, feeling quite pleased with myself at getting a horrible job done rather painlessly wrote my name up on the board and went back into the corner to continue reading the book. By the end of the night I'd had a few pints, read a good book, and now felt able to go back home.

I found out later that Maureen was gutted. That poor woman had tried her best to cheer me up on what she knew was a terrible evening for me. She'd only challenged me at pool so that I could at least have the satisfaction of something going right, and she had blown it big time. Instead of helping me she thought she had destroyed what was left of my pride and self-confidence. She knew how much my standing at pool meant to me, and how humiliating it was to have my name up on the wall not only 7-balled, but 7-balled by the worst player in the pub. Not only was she upset that night, but she still felt guilty the next day. She couldn't stop worrying about how I was, she knew I was depressed, and she was seriously worried in case I did anything daft.

I completely destroyed that poor woman's Christmas. She had a screaming row with her husband who told her to "just get over it", she was totally devastated by what she'd done, and until I walked in on Boxing day worried frantically about my mental state.


Maureen. I am sorry. I am sorry for being a heartless bastard who was totally uncaring about the feelings of a lovely person who was simply trying her best to do the right thing.

I am sorry for putting you through a hellish Christmas.

I am sorry for leaving the table in such a way that you thought you'd seriously upset me.

Most of all I am sorry for pissing myself laughing when you finally dared broach the subject a couple of months later and I am sorry for not telling you how grateful I was that someone cared so much about me that it upset them to see me lose a stupid game of pool.

Here's to Maureen and all the people like her who have hearts of gold.
( Occulus Swallowed, instead of spat, on, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 20:25, 6 replies)

More Brotherly Love
So, you're playing with your Lego, making a scale model of the architectural might that is Hillsborough stadium, when your brother says to you...

"I bet you can't get that big bit of Lego up your nose."

Do you:

a) Laugh
b) Laugh, crack your annoying little bro round the head and make him eat said piece of Lego
c) Laugh, stick the piece up your nose, fail to retrieve it, run crying for your mum, who similarly fails to retrieve it (as does your stepdad, the next door neighbour, Graham from number 38 and the milkman), then has to take you to the Northern General hospital to get it surgically removed?

Yes, you're right.

Still, I do have amazingly large nostrils in my adulthood, and on many occasions I have managed to fit about £2.80 in loose change up one of them, which has won me many pints as a result.

Click 'I like this' if you want to know how I manage this.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 20:21, 8 replies)

my dad told me this true story
happened sometimes in the 70's...
it was a friday night and my dad was having a few beers and playing cards with his workmates at the local bar (next to the river)...

a fisherman entered with a bucket full of fish he had just caught that afternoon. guy drinks a few beers as the locals start asking him silly questions about the fish..where did you get them!?..what kind of fish is this? etc..

a few beers later, someone said: "i bet you a 100 francs (quite a lot back then) that you cannot swallow that small fish alive"..pointing at a 15 cm long Catfish swimming in the bucket.

dude takes said fish tail between his fingers opens a large toothless mouth and starts pushing it down his throat head first..until the fish completely disappears. "WOAW" goes everyone in the pub..pretty impressed...a few seconds later, guy turns red, then blue..fish is obviously stuck in his throat..

he then starts digging into his mouth and tries to pull it out, the more he pulled on the tail and the more the fish would get stuck..fishbones and scales deploying into his throat.

took him a good 2 minutes to die in front of a totally helpless pub crowd.
( olivier8 (euroloon), Thu 1 Nov 2007, 20:12, 7 replies)

I once ate one of those blue toilet things out of curiosity
I was only about 2 at the time. It had come from the toilet cistern at home rather than a urinal and I also ended up in hospital - so my parents tell me.

Anyways I was dared to wear a luminous pink lycra top and some pink girls pyjamas to work last Friday - friend then donated £5 to some breast cancer thing so it was all good.
( thistle, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 19:33, Reply)

How about this?
I dare one of the you who quite clearly wanted to do the dare and only used it as an excuse (pulling munters, homosexual encounters, etc) to admit it.

Also stop being so proud of not paying up on a dare. It just makes you sound like a cunt.

Apologies for not having a proper entry.
( 0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 19:19, 2 replies)

When I was in my teens...
Once dared a mate to snort lines of sugar in school... except we'd replaced one of them with salt.

He didn't talk to me for 2 days...
(Bunny Mazonas, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 19:18, 2 replies)

Tea bag sandwich...
At apprentice training school one lad challenged another to snog the almost retired wrinkly old cleaning lady in front of a packed lunchtime canteen. He did it and the other lads forfeit was to eat a used teabag sandwich as we all sat in amazement at this bizzarre cabaret...
(minky, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 19:14, Reply)

Outraged, Lwr Scudless
I bought a pr0n video from a dodgy corner shop one day only to find that it was censored to hell and back, with less flesh on show than a taleban WI outing.

My mate Andy then dared me to take it back and complain if I was that bothered. So I did.

Marched into the (now busy) shop, slapped the video on the counter.

"I'd like my money back please, as this pornography you sold me is shit. There's no oral, no anal, no fannies, and the best part of it is on the floor in some studio."

'Errr, we can give you another one'

"No. I want my money back now please. Your porn is quite frankly sub-standard."

Whisked my tenner back off the cashier, and marched out, head held high.

Do me out of a hand-shandy eh? We'll see
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 19:12, 2 replies)

drink and ash trays contents?
done that..

put fag out on arm?
Done that a few times

Shave my head?
That was easy

"Balls out salute" infront of police station?
Nearly got me arrested

Jump off that cliff into the sea?
Serious back problems now

Pull my finger?
No chance
( SiX and his hat, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:57, Reply)

Mad football players!
A friend of mine told me quite a few stories from when he was in college in Buffalo in the late 70s. Pat was about 5' 6", but was such a maniac about weight lifting that you never realized it until you got right up to him- he was extremely muscular and carried himself well. He was also an incredibly fast runner, so he was on the University of Buffalo football team as a corner back.

On their way to the bars, he and his teammates used to pass by the Security building. One night one of the guys noticed that the sign for the Security office was a sheet of plywood mounted on a pair of posts at either end, so he ran like hell and leaped feet first at it. Splintered plywood flew everywhere, and they laughed as they legged it out of there.

The following week a new sign was made and installed, and again the guy launched himself through it. The same performance occurred the following week as well.

The week after that they saw the nice brand-new sign, and his teammates dared him to break that one as well. The guy let out a mighty scream and ran at it full tilt, flying feet first through the air.

You know how Wile E. Coyote runs face first into something and then just kinda drops?...

SPANG! *thud*

They had replaced it with a rather thick sheet of aluminum.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:41, 2 replies)

Chewits? I don't think so!!!!
Many years ago when I was young, stupid and tucking into a big bag of chewits with my brother, he made a passing comment about the name of such sweets.
"I know why they call 'em chewits." He said.
"whys that then?" said I (see, told you I was stupid)
"Coz you gotta chew 'em" He points out.
"Nah you don't" I retort.
" Go on then. I dare you to shallow one without chewing" He grins.
"Alright"
Bang. Straight down. At least it would have been had it not got wedged in my throat.
Cue much coughing, choking and laughing (from my brother, not me. I was scared shitless!) until my dad nearly smashed my spine though my back forcing it out.
As I lay there in tears, dribble and blackcurrent flavoured drool my brother said,
"told you,twat"
(FerretTrout be illin', Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:34, Reply)

Chemistry.
We dared 'boxhead' to put a johnny on the over head projector. The teacher didn't like it when his lessons worth of slide got covered in lube, he certainly didn't like it when he tried to wash it under the tap forgetting that it wasn't in indelible ink.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:33, Reply)

There was once this dick...
...in my primary school that ate staples for a dare. Hospital followed.
(Leenis is cool., Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:12, 1 reply)

Not a dare.. but a bet
I suppose I could lie and say I was dared to run this bet on a rather prim co-worker, but I wasnt. However I did bet her 50p that I could make her boobs wobble without touching them. 90 seconds of face writhing and gormless staring later they still hadn't moved, so I took them, quite roughly, one in each hand and wobbled them. One slapped face later and an exchange of 50p made that one of the best ten bobs I'd ever spent. Prim yes, ugly? no, not a bit of it!
(lordy lordy, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:02, 1 reply)

I only encourage, never participate
I've taken very few dares in my life, something I attribute to the combination of two X chromosomes and being able to hold my drink. Since many of my friends have neither qualities, though, I have many stories of their less-than-stellar moments.

My personal favourite was the time when a friend dared her boyfriend and his best mate to streak across campus during a major sporting event which had brought thousands of people to our fair school. She promised them that we'd keep their clothes safe in her room and we'd let them in straight away when they finished.

Did they do it? Of course. They'd both been drinking since the night before and really, it was almost too easy.

Did we let them in? Of course not.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:00, Reply)

for no reward whatsoever
a lad I used to know did a bucket bong of seeds. one of his mates did one of straight tobacco.

I suspect there may have been a 'drought' on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 17:58, 1 reply)

Well...
I headbutted a lampost one night when I was a uni last year for £20. £20 of which I was promised the next day for my patron didn't have the funds at the time.
Next day, having gotten so drunk that night, he then denies any involvement in such a bet.
Twunt.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 17:52, 1 reply)

gay chicken
i think theres a few gay chicken stories here

me and a friend when playing gay chicken would always both pull out at the same time, usually around half an inch away our eyes would meet and we'd both bottle it. untill 1 night when we were both shitfaced and we both won/lost.

didnt find out about it for 2 days till a mate said "do you remember getting off with james?"
me:"no"
mate:"you were at it for a good few minutes"
me"well at least we both pulled"


i had a theory that we were that shitfaced neither of us knew whose throat we had our tongues down and being hetrosexual males we both assumed we were kissing girls.
neither of us remembers this so....
(suboftheday, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 17:51, Reply)

Heads, swearing, vomit, curry, shooting
Whether i'm being dared, or doing the daring, invariably it ends in some form of disaster.

-Shortly after developing an extensive swearing vocabulary (gotta love older siblings) and the even more necessary common sense not to say it. I dared a school mate to say fcuking cnut to a teacher, which he promptly did, then got in trouble, then blamed me. Apparently not suitable for a 8 year old boy.

-When getting onto a coach for a school trip, I dared another school mate to press the emergency door close button that was cunningly positioned on the entry stairs. Cue a teacher getting his upper half stuck between the doors, got blamed for that one, and again, unsuitable behaviour (9 that time I think).

-My older brother loaded up an air pistol (scorpion; powerful, banned) with a red berry and dared me to shoot him, in his mind, it would look like a nice film style blood squib explosion. Unfortunately I did dare, the berry hit and passed through his shirt and part into his chest, not far enough for a problem, but he still bares the scars now. Thankfully didn't get blamed for that one.

-Daring a work mate to drink a bowl of vindaloo sauce, quite tame that one, and I suspect more geared towards last weeks qotw, I felt conned, guy didn't even blink.

-One night in the local, an unfortunate drunk proceeds to spit/vomit an ungodly coloured concoction into a glass. Various dare's were made to drink it, but the moment money became involved and the stakes were raised, an otherwise silent bystander proceeded to take the money, neck the vomit, and sit back down, without even washing it down with a beer. It was for the princely sum of a fiver, so it still seemed more of a dare than a bet.
(ShiftyBastard won the World Cup on World Soccer Champs 2010!, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 17:50, 2 replies)