Just one thing:
To one day be put into a real life situation that actually requires me to kick ass, and then take some names.
( PMGT -Bacon., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:49, 3 replies)

Live

I want to do something epic, something fun, have a bit of an adventure, something to look back at and think "can't believe I did that"
Something a bit daft and pointless

Something very much like this ...

www.motoscape-rally.co.uk/road-trip-to-bologna.asp

France to Bologna via the Nurburgring
In a car worth a maximum of £250

Sadly work, kids, wife, work gets in the way

one day, one day
(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:48, 5 replies)

I'm gonna live fast
and I'm gonna die old
(and now for someone completely different, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:47, Reply)

Put right the foolishness of youth.
When I was 9 there was a disco for all us sproglets leaving to go big school. I was hopelessly in love with a girl whose identity I shall hide by calling her Tania Drake. Although, seeing as that was her name, I accept it's not the most secure of pseudonyms.

At this disco she got her friend to ask me to dance with her. I said yes, but didn't do it. I left her standing there, expecting a dance, while I titted about with my mates. I was 9, remember, and had lost my tiny, acorn-like pre-pubescent bottle.

Tania Drake's dad was in the Navy, fittingly (Drake. Navy. Oh have it your own way) and they moved that holiday and I never saw her again. Tania Drake was my first love and I have never felt anything like it since. More than a quarter of a century has passed but I still recall with stunning clarity how I felt about her. Even now, wherever she is, whatever she's like, part of me loves her utterly, unselfishly and unendingly.

We never kissed. We never touched, even. I don't think we even spoke to each other that much. And since then I've had great relationships, and a long, albeit not permanent marriage. But Tania Drake will always have my heart in a way no-one else ever will.

Before I die, I'd love to meet her again. To look into those eyes. And more than anything I'd like to share just one dance with her.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:47, 8 replies)

Simple
My son to be allowed to live me for a reasonable amount of time and no more court hearings trying to get that to happen.
(Audax Victor, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

I would love to do this:
Take the train across to Bradford; dress up as Pacman, eat a big fuck-off gobstopper and chase a group of women in burkhas.

Juvenile? Oh yes.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:33, 2 replies)

i want
to meet a gorgeous bloke in a pub/club and not be dancing like a twat when he sees me
for my mother to just ONCE admit that she's wrong
to finally finish my book
to have a newly-discovered species named after me
to find a pair of shoes that fit me, that don't look like they were designed for thora hird
to have sex on a trampoline
to swim in jelly
to see soap operas outlawed
to win enough money to set me up for life
to see my nephew grow up and not join the army
to have at least one day that is utterly perfect, from the moment i wake up till the moment i fall asleep
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:12, 34 replies)

Delete
my special folder. Better still, burn the computer.
( Pretender, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 17:46, Reply)

i want to set fire to a bear - just to see what it sounds like
i want to shave a mohawk into my grandmother

i want to ride a bicycle made of pork through the streets of rome

i want to grow a handlebar moustache and dangle maraccas from it

i want to shoot heroin underwater

i want a brain in a jar i can read Dan Brown novels to.

i want an extensive collection of rare udders

i want to lubricate a church with marmite
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 17:32, 6 replies)

Be the filling in a Minogue sandwich.

(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 17:19, 21 replies)

I want..
..to make a machine that produces far more electricity than it uses. Something that can run everything in the house from a 9v battery. Then once I'd sold one to every house on the planet I'd sit in my swimming pool filled with money throwing handfuls into the air cackling "BWUU-HA-HAAA" as I watch the share prices of a certain multinational energy company sink lower than a trapped Chilean miner.
Bitter at having been treated badly by a company that rhymes with ‘empower’ when employed by them? No. Well, maybe a bit. But only enough to want to destroy them.
(TitanLX, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 17:16, 3 replies)

Ready for my close-up
I thought I'd made the media triumvirate: appearing on radio, TV and film. But recently I discovered that my film debut had been thwarted - I was edited out!

So I need to get that done.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 17:04, 1 reply)

Hmm well I hear
that for around £20,000 you can go for a flight in a Mig 25 Foxbat at Mach 2, as it used to be the only way the Russian air force could afford for it pilots to log flight hours.

I'd quite like to have something I've written on the TV but thanks to Anil Gupta ripping off a gag I wrote and using it on Goodness Gracious Me, I kind of have. I'd like to try my hand at stand up comedy as well but as many people have found out, it can be a mortifying experience if it goes wrong.

Eventually I'd quite like a production credit on an album which may happen in the future, so far I've only got Special Thanks and that was probably down to making the recording artists lots of pizzas.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:59, 2 replies)

my dreams are simple, really
all i want before i die is to have my secret volcano lair, my obedient, muscular and oiled henchmen and total global domination.
that's not much to ask, is it?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:49, 12 replies)

I decided a few weeks ago to become a Master Baker, to justify the flattery I get in the street.
So last week was my first foray into the world of bread-making, and it was delicious. Weapons-grade, mind - you could have used it for mugging - but delicious.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:40, 7 replies)

I've always wanted to open my own bakery.
Nothing fancy, just breads and cakes and pies and things that taste nice and bring back happy memories of being little and surrounded by your grandmother's baking (provided your gran could bake, that is). Somewhere you could sit with a hot cup of tea and a slice of cake and just relax. The idea of making people happy via food appeals to me; so many people get caught up in trendy eating and forget the pleasures of simple-but-delicious foods.
I have a line of vegan baked goods I make that, in the words of a vegan friend, 'taste like food, not like misery'. I'd like the opportunity to provide little kids with dairy allergies a proper birthday cake like a kid should have instead of them having to watch other kids eat cake they can't eat or being given something that bears a striking resemblance to an iced paving stone. I make plenty of non-vegan things that are also delicious, but I feel sorry for people who don't eat eggs/dairy and who get presented nasty baked goods by people who expect them to be grateful for that crap.
I don't want to be on any of those TV shows where they compete to see who can make the most impressive tower of (likely dry, tasteless) cake covered in all manner of fondant ridiculousness or who can create the most ridiculous cupcake flavour combination or present the most minimalist version of bread; nothing like that. Just classic, traditional things that taste even better than you remember.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:36, 6 replies)

I'm
Not that bothered, I am a buddhist, so I can safetly fuck up this life, safe in the knowledge I can fuck it all up again in the next one. I think I might do four of these then knuckle down.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:24, 11 replies)

Open my Breasts Museum
I want it to be quite hands on, a bit like the Science Museum but with more boobies.
( broadsword w⚓, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:23, 12 replies)

Places that begin with a K that most other people haven't heard of...
Kamchatka: magnificent (and extremely active) volcanic scenery, glaciers, coniferous forests and about one human being per thousand square miles... but watch out for the bears. However, there is a shitload of oil underneath, so with the world being what it is, in fifty years' time the Russians will have turned the place into Port Talbot. Living in Korea (which begins with a K and which I'm sure you've heard of), it's accessible enough, so I will almost certainly go in the next 5 years. The look on the faces of my yuppie pals when they ask me where I went for my holidays will be priceless, I'm sure

Kergeulen - alright, it's in the absolute middle of nowhere (somewhere between Madagascar and Antarctica, and closer to the latter) but there's nobody here except a few French scientists, so if you want to play Bear Grylls better than Bear Grylls does, this is the place to go. Possibly an unrealistic place to list unless I decide to study oceanography in France (and learn French), but all the same, the isolation attracts me

Kiribati. The disappearing paradise. This is in the South Pacific, but a couple of years back their government asked the Aussies and the Kiwis if they would accept the population of these isles, when the time comes, as refugees from the rising sea levels being brought about by global warming. Whether you will still be able to visit most or all of this place in 2050 or 2100 is to be concluded, but in any case, the location speaks for itself

...Kyrgyzstan is a maybe if the political situation becomes a bit more stable (before I die). But then, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you??
(Katabatic wasn't, and will never be on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:18, 8 replies)

Woodwork and general creativeness
I want to be taught how to do carpentry by Norm Abram off of the New Yankee Workshop. I will then use this knowledge to make stuff for my friends and family. This will all rely on me winning the lottery, as I would like to have a full sized workshop with every tool I would need. I would also use this knowledge to make props like the guy on volpinprops.blogspot.com/
(Dwarfsmuggler Has hogtied Snow White, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:17, 4 replies)

I wanna
A) Move to Australia by the time I'm 25
B) Learn how to play bass guitar
C) Make my sister actually believe me when I tell her I've lost my virginity. TO A WOMAN.

Bitch.
( Trogdos The Raging Cuntmuffin, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:13, 12 replies)

Climb Mount Everest.
I went to Everest base camp in 2001. I have wanted to go back and climb to the top ever since then.

I have made enquiries about doing a trip in 3 or 4 years’ time (to give me enough time to get fit enough, scale a couple of other 8000m + peaks as practice etc).

There are three problems:

It looks like it would cost me US$70,000 all in.

I would need up to 2 months at base camp (dependent on the weather conditions) prior to attempting the summit.

I am a window licker an epileptic and I am not sure that any sensible experienced guide would accept me on their trip (despite it being controlled through medication).

I want to stand on the top of the world. Just once.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:12, 6 replies)

Before I die
I want to make sure all my lights are left on AND my TV is on standby, then have my freshly burned ashes put into my wheely bin. That'll show THE MAN.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:11, 1 reply)

I think I'd like to jump out of an aeroplane.
without a parachute.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:11, 5 replies)

Things to do before I die...
Sort my fucking life out and get out of poorness/debt (shouldn't take too long it's not much) and secure a future for my beautiful baby girl. I have nightmares of not having anything for Uni or anything to leave her in my will eventually, but I'm not 30 yet so I have a while to save :)
That and I want my band to go up to the next level. Practice has been canceled tonight so we can scrap that last one off.
pissflaps
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

burp, fart and sneeze at the same time.

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 16:02, 19 replies)

Your mum
Both pipes.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 15:57, 6 replies)

I got a promise with myself
At the age of 33 I will either be in a full term realtionship with a solid career and a long life to look forward to. Or I'll kill myself.

I have 2 years to go. I have been working at my 1st full time job for the last 2 years and I have a girlfriend but I don't see it being too long term.
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 15:57, 11 replies)

I want to hear the words "You have the biggest cock ever!"
And it be completely honest.

Never gonna happen.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 15:55, 8 replies)

Simple things
Before I die I would like to:
* Get a good job (after months of searching, still nothing)
* Fall in love with a nice guy and get married to said nice guy
* Live in a lovely house with nice guy
* Produce lovely children with nice guy
* Generally be happy with good job, nice guy and our lovely children in our lovely house.
I don't think this is an awful lot to ask, but apparently it's all pretty hard to get! Failing that, in the meantime I'd just settle for employment...
(The cat's PJs If my eyes are closed you can't see me, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 15:51, 2 replies)