Hello Chubby Chubsters.
What are you all moaning about today, then?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

The lack of pie around here.
Really, I am. I have a hankering.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Whatever happened to Hankster?
I haven't seen him in a while.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

radiation?

( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Wasn't he here on Friday?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Maybe.
Perhaps we just come on here mostly at different times these days.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Send him a perfumed letter telling him how wet you are.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I did that.
All I got was a curt card in return telling me I should buy a new raincoat and possibly an umbrella.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

What a fucking weirdo.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

his profile says he's gone outside
lol i doubt that, he is an internet fatty
( spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I'm moaning about everything jammy.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I have to say there's a connection between GMoS Industries and JMG PLC, and as such we're preparing a sympathy strike on your behalf.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

I've been working on getting people to dress up like me so they can get assassinated rather than I
You never know when an angry Aberdeen is going to get a gun licence.

My latest recruit is MooCow_Byter he's going for a 4 years in the past GMOS look
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

have you donated the "glasses" to him?

( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

nope, he's just decided upon a mohawk.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I'm prettier than you were, though.

(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

probably.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I have to say I thoroughly endorse a move where there's more GMoS'.
In the wardrobe, and in the public eye.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I keep telling you,
I just convinced you from 4 years ago to look like me now. It's to confuse time travellers.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

I started the mohawk appearance 7 years ago.
you can't travel back more than 4 years because your cool ratio is not high enough, I can travel 60 years.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

nothing really

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I hope the toon stay up.
/DG 100% honest blog
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

OHH MY SWEET DG!
It's incredibly drawn out and agonising.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

I want them to go down.
Purely for selfish reasons you understand.
( WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I think they will get a win at Villa
and Boro and Hull will go down.

I was hoping Hull would lose on Saturday to ease the pain for JMG.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

I hope Villa win, out of a misplaced love of MON.

( WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

I dont think a win benefits Villa in any way does it ?
FOOTBALL TALK, ONLINE !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

A win takes Villa into Europe (5th place)
no offence. great football forum banter.
( Three Dog Man, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

5th to 7th are all Europa League qualification spots because of the cup results.
Position within those places doesn't matter for that. It's worth something like £750k in prize money per place.
( nick the greek, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I know. I've always liked Newcastle as being a QPR supporter a lot of our youth has headed towards the heady heights of the toon and they've got the coolest strip in the 97 -03 season
Which I used to wear when playing, always the fashion victim.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

Q P fucking R ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

West London boy. Plus it's who all the cool rock stars support.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

ool rock star unt
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

same thing :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Eternal gratitude for your kind gift of Sir Les

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Hayes FC thanks you for the 10% of his sign-on fee

(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

JMG. What would you say was the main cause for Newcastle's bad performance this season?
Apart from yourself being to blame, I mean.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

Keegan.
Should never have come back. Made their season start bad, was ruined from there on in.

Having Sam "The shittest, cuntiest, twatiest Man in all football" Allardyce the season before didn't help either.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Tsk
dont you know it's all Dennis Wise's fault ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

How did Keegan make our season start bad?!
They drew at Old Trafford!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Spurs drew at Stamford Bridge early on.
You know how our season started.

Manchester United started this season in very very shit fashion too.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

...How does that defeat my Keegan point?
Under Keegan we won two, drew one and lost one.
I'm right.

I'm always right.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

Newcastle United . January 2008 - September 2008
Played 21
Won 6
Drew 9
Lost 6
% 28.57

EXCELLENT STATS!
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

That isn't this season.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

That's the entire time Keegan was in charge in his second stint.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

"Keegan.
Should never have come back. Made their season start bad,"
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

Two independent statements.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

Keegan's start to the season was perfectly fine.
I'm sorry Kevin Keegan's Newcastle United probably gave you a couple of hidings.
I still blame Spurs for Keegan's first resignation.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Let's be clear
Kevin Keegan is not a great football manager. He's a good motivator, but not a lot else.

I wouldnt let him manage my affairs.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

It's amazing.
You can finish second in the Premiership and still be labelled a terrible manager in this country.
How many other Englishmen have done this?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Funny how no one rates Keegan apart from the Toon faithful.
You're so blind to your "messiahs".
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

An excellent point. Made by the club that appointed the Rev. Hoddle.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

We appointed him, he wasn't very good,
we fired him.

After his shit performance we don't revere him as some kind of god, like you do with your failures.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

http://www.footballforums.net/forums/archive/index.php/t-28245.html
4th reply.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Yeah
useless twat only saved us from relegation into the old 3rd division then up to 2nd place in the premiership within 3 seasons.
Oh, and only the press call him messiah...
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

and all the newcastle fans who get interviewed,
and all of the banners in St. James's park.

I'm going to bring Shearer into this. How's his managerial record? Excuses... it's not his team, he's not been in charge long etc are not acceptable, everyone recognises that that team are far too good to be where they are.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

I haven't heard any excuses from him
no idea what you're on about.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

I have.
:) Blind to your messiahs :)
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/burden-of-tottenham-hopes-rests-on-hoddle-689378.html


"The bottom line for now is whether Hoddle can make a difference or at least give the demanding Spurs supporters something to cheer about. "The way I always saw it is the fans want a team who can play," Burkinshaw said. "They want individuals who are terrific technicians. They loved the likes of the Frenchman [David Ginola] and Glenn Hoddle, in his time, was a god."
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

"in his time".
Well done, you've proved that you're not reading things properly.

He was a fucking fantastic player, and as a PLAYER could do no wrong.

He tried to manage us, he was shit, he is no longer a "god" to us - although he was.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

It's amazing how you've managed to clamp down specifically on a set amount of time, there.
As earlier you couldn't fathom the difference between this season, and last.
I again put it to you, and now coupled with your new found sense of exact time, that Keegan's 08/09 season at SJP actually got off to a rather fine start.
I'm sure you'll agree.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

It was a bad start.
and I'm sticking to that.

There's a significant difference in time between the 70s and now
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

What was so bad?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

You beat Bolton (big woop) and drew with a substandard Manchester united,
then you struggled to beat a team that nearly got relegated from the championship.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Yes. that's 4 Premiership points out of a possible 6.
Are you alright?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Off-field antics.
There doesn't seem to be a grown up amongst them.
Ashley's right hand man showed up in a shirt for Saturday's game with "Cockney Wanker" written on the back.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Seeing as he's being honest
why wasn't Ashley wearing a Spurs shirt?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

It was Llambias in the shirt.
Weird..
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

I have nothing to moan about JMG
I am alive, relatively healthy and I have people who care about me.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

This is the best way to have it.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I've just done an exam having not slept at all last night.
I feel a bit sick, but otherwise all is well here, JMG.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I did that the day of a 9am exam.
It was the same day it snowed, and my eyes were so fucked from not sleeping my eyes were ruined for ages as it was so bright :(
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
Well played.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Bloody aced it as well.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

i'm berating myself for offence i once caused, or didn't, no offence
smashing stuff
( mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

You're starting to sound like one of those overly-friendly suburban nightmares
All smiles and politeness on the outside, with a secret stash of chopped-up dogs in the attic.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

i can assure you i have no dog chopped or whole in the attic, at all, none, no offence
ok
( mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Nowt
I smashed up a house this morning.
Best hangover cure ever.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I applaud this manly act.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I borrowed
one of these

Wallop, bosh, have that etc.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

Nothing JMG,
it's my birthday!
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Happy TUTT Day.
*Celebratory fives*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Congratulations to you on this day,
The anniversary of falling out of a minge for the first time.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

wow
it's national kate day. happy birthday to splendid kates everywhere.
( 100% kitten better than ever, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

I'm doing WORKY THINGS
Also, annoyingly, my chest is hurting.

I took up JOGGING over the weekend, JMG. The fatty ratio must be re-balanced.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Excellent move!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

I think I let myself down by having a fag halfway through, though.

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Jogging on hampstead heath?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

You bad cunt :(
I only managed about 2km. I'm so unfit.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

Refereeing decisions

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

You only sing at the polo.
etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

We're all going on a European Tour ,a European Tour, a European Tour.....
Boro next season, you're playing Boro next season, Boro next season...

(And possibly Milwall)
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

Boredom.
I'm half way through my first day of 3 days off and bored to tears already.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I'm not moaning about anything
On Friday, BT cancelled an order of mine, when I called to find out why, they said it was because I couldn't order my line while the previous tennants' line is still active. BT actually re-placed the order for me today and I didn't even have to ask.
BT sales is good. I hope to god I don't have to call their support though.

And before anyone says "why are you going with BT?" It's because I have an o2 phone, o2 is really be there, which are the best provider, and I can get 20Mbit for a tenner a month.
( SuperMatt, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

i'm not saying "why are you going with bt?"
virgin are willy-faces
( spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I'm with Virgin
Thoroughly prefer it to Sky.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

back when it was telewest it was awesome
i had three months of intermittent downtime last year, and left in a fury for zen, who for a small fee guarantee all downtimes are resolved within 24 hours
( spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

That's why I went with o2 too

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

The work's fantasy football league is a bit too close for comfort.
And I need the cash.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

I know the feeling.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Does the dole office know of this potential other income source?
LOL.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

ROFL!
I KNOW!!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

the absence of bad things in this life
if life continues to be this good, i may have to abandon all hope of ever becoming a blues singer
( spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Just write a song about chopped-up dogs
It what all the greats have done.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

General moaning and complaining here, JMG.
Mainly family centred.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

Buy a cat
Staple it to the underside of a dog.

That's my advice.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

We already have three cats.
They are not the cause of the issue. They are all fabulous.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Sounds like you need three dogs and a staple gun

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Nothing whatsoever.
Life is grand.
( FoldsFive, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I think it's about time I became a rich and famous artist, JMG.
But I'm not sure which medium to choose. I'm quite a good musician, and I can take a decent enough photo, but I'm just not sure where it all should go.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Just take your clothes off.
And make sure it's shameless.
Cos everyone knows that's how you get famous.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

I'm going to learn how to carve wood.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

WHITTLE!

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

or use a chainsaw.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

With your penis.

(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Maybe that's the wood he's going to be carving.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Nowt.
I did fall asleep during the film last night though, so will have to watch the last 20 minutes tonight. That's hardly a moan though.
( Druid, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:18, archived)