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Someone has stolen my dressing gown off the washing line. I'm livid.
Can't believe some people, they'll steal anything if it wasn't nailed down. I really liked it as well. It's large, white, fluffy and has Hilton Hotel on the back. If anyone sees it please inbox me.
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:16, archived)
Alright Mr. Hotel

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:17, archived)
alright Ian

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:36, archived)
and on National Penuche Fudge Day of all days

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:43, archived)
So you live in a shithole, gotcha

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 18:00, archived)
Sean Connery on the dating circuit

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:12, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8378558
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:15, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8378568
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:18, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8378553
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:29, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8378579
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:24, archived)
Sean Connery? On the dating circuit?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:17, archived)
Sean Connery on the dating circuit
And the walls fell
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:29, archived)
Rai and Jiri at Lungha!

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 14:24, archived)
shean connery on the dating shircuit

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:15, archived)
You're shaying he's on the dating shircuit?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:18, archived)
No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to pick me up at 8

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:46, archived)
Sean Connery on the dating circuit?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:50, archived)
He ain't got no money, honey

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:57, archived)
We can go to the park
That's free
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 15:18, archived)
My eyesh are up here

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:25, archived)
Shurely shome mishtake?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:01, archived)
Glashcock

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:01, archived)
Shourshe?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:58, archived)
about time someone said it

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:15, archived)
Sean Connery on the lighting circuit

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:42, archived)
This is all terrible bullying, might flounce but not before making a few notes

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:43, archived)
I wanted to find "that" post but search is broken

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 14:02, archived)
And yet the mods do nothing

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 15:12, archived)
+h

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 18:26, archived)
Shame b3ta doesn't have a calendar function,
that would have been perfect for all Sean Connery's dating needs
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 13:59, archived)
10,000 spoons my friend, 10,000 spoons.

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 16:19, archived)
when all you need is a life

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 17:12, archived)
MOD EDIT: morning

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 6:45, archived)
Shove a trifle up your cock and shit out the custard

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 8:51, archived)
COCK CUSTARD

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 9:17, archived)
£35000 please

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 9:40, archived)
I missed the £35000 meme what’s going on?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 10:32, archived)
Ask Huw Edwards

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 10:53, archived)
ha-cha-cha-cha

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 9:43, archived)
Vg

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 10:14, archived)
POD EDIT: 🫛🫛

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 9:45, archived)
Sugar snap peas

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 11:00, archived)
you modding stupid modding cunt

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 10:23, archived)
My shingles have cleared up thanks for all your support

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 10:32, archived)
You were ill? You should have said

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 10:34, archived)
Also, has

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 10:36, archived)
Sean Connery on the dating circuit

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 11:17, archived)
Yeah that joke has been done you fucking retard

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:05, archived)
Sorry for not being online here 24/7 you melted gonad

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:14, archived)
Shove a trifle up your cock and shit out the custard

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:19, archived)
Sean Connery on the dating circuit

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:09, archived)
bindun

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:14, archived)
Source?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:17, archived)

Here
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:20, archived)
Yes.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 22:10, archived)
Yes indeed

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 22:19, archived)
No
Sorry, but that's just how it is
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 22:25, archived)
Sexy

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 0:02, archived)
Burchett said the US had evidence of technology that “defies all of our laws of physics”, and angrily railed against a “cover-up” by military officials. He added: “We’re gonna get to the bottom of it, dadgummit."

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 0:20, archived)
Well you see unlimited, guilt-free energy and the ability to create any element from nothing are both within our grasp, instantly solving the climate crisis and world hunger
and yet the World Government is in thrall to Big Oil and Big Wheat to keep all little people thinking that time and resources are about to run out

Also Remington don't want you knowing the aliens make better guns
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 9:06, archived)
Once you escape Mothership Zeta with a few of their weapons the rest of DC is a walkover, just like in real life, probably

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 9:13, archived)
Is it still ok to say supermutant?

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:11, archived)
Instead say: Person who was exposed to Forced Evolutionary Virus

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:20, archived)
We tried surveying feral ghouls as to what they would like to be known as, but they have a nasty habit of murdering anyone who talks to them

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:43, archived)

Google you've gone all weird again
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:44, archived)
John Henry Eden has now classified these images as porn, I'm on a list

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 12:46, archived)
No.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 18:59, archived)
+ no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no there's no limit!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:00, archived)
Cheers

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:33, archived)

There should be a full stop after the first no (incl the no from the previous comment), then another one after 4 no's, then another one after the next 4 no's.
(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 1:37, archived)
no

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 2:19, archived)
yeah nah

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:06, archived)
Exactly!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:33, archived)
Briane

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:11, archived)
You really mean yes though, right?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:13, archived)
Maybe, I have had a few pints already...

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:15, archived)
In other words, buy me a couple more and I'm yours, is that it?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:26, archived)
I don't need your charity. I get it on tap from the brewery!
Stoopid merkin! Shoo! Go vote in another amazing president or something. HAHAH ROASTED. GET REKT.
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:32, archived)
You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:45, archived)
nu uh, you!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:52, archived)
Usa fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:49, archived)
Phantom menace improved

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 20:09, archived)
actual lol

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 20:35, archived)
and no
and no and no
and it's no
and no and no
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 19:51, archived)
Good evening.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:26, archived)
Fuck you, Huw. Fuck you.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:29, archived)
Fancy earning 35 grand?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:41, archived)
Misread that as "eating"
Good fibre source, maybe?
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 22:26, archived)
you've done it now

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:30, archived)
Keir Of A Red Planet

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:34, archived)
The Bum Of All Keirs

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:36, archived)
Keir I come to save the day!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:38, archived)
Wish You Were Kier

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:39, archived)
Keir Come the Warm Jets

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:44, archived)
Keir comes the hotstarmer

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:46, archived)
TURNIP!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:48, archived)
for the books

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 18:13, archived)
A turnip is a humorous suggestion, yet it is far from practical.
Flowers have a low profile, and are suitable items for pressing between the pages of a book, but most fruits and vegetables are quite bulky. However you may have some success with sugar snap peas.
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 18:40, archived)
Not the whole one, just the skin from one side. MODS

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 18:44, archived)
it "wooden" go

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 0:21, archived)
Huw Janus

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:39, archived)
17:26 is afternoon
18:00 onwards is evening

Please kill yourself
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 18:06, archived)
I see Dan Wotton is taking the heat off you

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 18:14, archived)
Your score: 3 / 7 It's time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars, forever
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-66258273
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:28, archived)
3/7 worse than spanishfly

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:37, archived)
1/15 gnome with a hardon

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:46, archived)
┏━┓┏━┓┏━┓ ︵ /(^.^/)

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:14, archived)
2/7 Keirs of a clown

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:56, archived)
Cheers Tarmer

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 15:43, archived)
Tarmer Tarmer Tarmer Tarmer Tarmer Keirmeleon

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:16, archived)
You wanna be a Tarmer? Keir's a couple of achers

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:32, archived)
Tarmer Police

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:38, archived)
Barraco Tarner

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:41, archived)
Tame Imtarmer

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:46, archived)
In Starmer, ya no say daddy me Keir Corbyn I go blame

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:59, archived)
I think that young people would engage more with politics if parliamentary debate was done in "rap battle" format

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:01, archived)
With occasional "breaking"

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:02, archived)
Needs more drive-bys

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:09, archived)
The Speaker is packing
purely for self defence, you understand
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:25, archived)
Yo! it's the Green Partee
Gonna rock the town with only one MP
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:29, archived)
πS* {T, F} (R ⊂ Y × Y) → Y /U(g): U(b) → U(c)

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 15:38, archived)
Well that's easy for you to say.

(, Sat 22 Jul 2023, 2:08, archived)
Off to see Barbie movie tomorrow with middle daughter
Should I load up on spice or smack? Or maybe a cheeky cocktail?
Cheeky Girls lol
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 11:43, archived)
Treat yourself, try fentanyl

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 11:45, archived)
Can you write me a script for it?
Oh wait...
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:02, archived)
we've got some 2500mcg/50ml vials in stock.
Spanishfly's doctor says it's fine for you to inject the whole lot at once.
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:33, archived)

giphy.com/gifs/hiphopawards-hip-hop-awards-bet-2020-s98DvQYgtefdK12Km2
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:44, archived)
better yet, Jenkem

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:26, archived)
Intravenous, for preference.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:44, archived)
-venous +ocular

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:26, archived)
Give yourself a fatal dose of Fentanyl.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 11:55, archived)
I get the feeling you want me to die
Sad face
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:03, archived)
Fentanyl

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:00, archived)
I have Fanta will that do?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:03, archived)
Fentanoh jesus christ

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:09, archived)
iunderstoodthatreference.gif

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:44, archived)
Fentanal

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 12:48, archived)
Billy for the japper
Fent for the bumhole
*takes notes*
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:04, archived)

Fent for the bumhole shakin' all over!
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:06, archived)
Fentimans cola

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:05, archived)
Bent Ian's cola

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:17, archived)
She said fine

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:40, archived)
Fentanyl, fentaone, fentatwo, I mean I could go on

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:46, archived)
Fwenty

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:51, archived)
Fentony! Fentoni! Fentoné!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:51, archived)
We then briefly hear from Angela Rayner, the deputy leader, who jokes about being in the middle of a "sandwich of Keirs".

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 13:58, archived)
Big no worky.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:02, archived)
Keiry Nation Chicken

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:03, archived)
Bakeirn Lettuce and Tomato

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:04, archived)
Doner Keirbab

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:05, archived)
Egg and Keiress

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:07, archived)
Keirs and onion

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:09, archived)
You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:13, archived)
Keirs, Keirs and Keirs

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 14:18, archived)
I could Keir less

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 16:20, archived)
Morning you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggots

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 7:34, archived)
morning

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 7:44, archived)
Morning
Any dromedary dong activities this weekend?
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:42, archived)
Always, balls deep in a bactrian, kno wot I mean!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 9:02, archived)
I don’t, please explain

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:58, archived)
good morning m8
Avignon today, going here for lunch
www.thefork.com/restaurant/le-gout-du-jour-r744352
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 7:51, archived)
The gout of the day?
Do they exclusively serve purine-rich foods and red wine?
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:28, archived)

p
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:57, archived)
I wee what you did there

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 9:13, archived)
Looks like a money hole
You'll need to eat afterwards.
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:43, archived)
You mean like some nice ginger biscuits with brown sauce?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 11:10, archived)
errgh
Is that a thing?
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 11:12, archived)
A very stoned friend of my sister's
Many years ago, was looking for something to eat and started putting brown sauce on ginger biscuits. I thought it was disgusting, but he said don't knock it till you try it. I tried it and I like it.
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 11:29, archived)
History is great and all but did they have to use "spit" on a menu

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 17:35, archived)
Morning
Little one woke me up at sodding 5:00 this morning. Thinking about putting him up for adoption.
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 7:58, archived)
Have you considered suicide?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:14, archived)
2/10, must try harder x

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 9:09, archived)
arseboon dilbaro

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:43, archived)
I know, right? The audacity

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 9:09, archived)
I do love a traditional morning greeting
Morning
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:04, archived)
Have chips with that

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:43, archived)
Morning sunshine

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:09, archived)
I think we broke /calendar
morning, afternoon, evening I mean
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:13, archived)
Ah yeah, whoops

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:15, archived)
this is all rob's fault

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:29, archived)
Yo broady

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 8:43, archived)
Piers Corbyn got 89 fewer votes than Count Binface.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 9:21, archived)
Count Corbynface

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 9:39, archived)
Stop the Count!

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:16, archived)
<s> o

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:37, archived)
Misogynist Jona

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:54, archived)
Stp

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:57, archived)
Yet he keeps trying
Like the little engine that could. Except he's a cunt.
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:54, archived)
Morning
Friday at last!
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 9:33, archived)
Plans for the weekend?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:55, archived)
See the family, avoid the mental
The usual
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 11:11, archived)
Good morning to you too
How's the missus?
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 10:53, archived)
Has b3ta detwittered?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:25, archived)
Dunno what that means, never had a twitter

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:29, archived)
me neither but b3ta was down, I checked the b3ta twitter feed and it's empty, I think it's just broken though

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:35, archived)
Twitter broke the APIs everyone uses to post
So b3ta can't post until I upgrade a dose of things
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:44, archived)
Hold on, so you do all the work and Rob and the poke post brain farts on Facebook? Seems unfair

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 0:05, archived)
I wouldn't exactly say I do work

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 0:21, archived)
So bots are broken? Manuel posts still work though, right?

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 0:14, archived)
Yep
Though it's an easy fix
(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 0:20, archived)
lol

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 2:24, archived)
Manuel posts, oh very good.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 7:23, archived)
I fucked it up again
But in good news we're on PHP 8.1, shit;s getting reeeeeeeeeeeel
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:33, archived)
That has some humor enhancers does it?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:35, archived)
It comes with extra
Nitrous oxide
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:43, archived)
Magic donkey last seen in vicinity of glue factory

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:50, archived)
People were discussing cheese and production by mickey earlier on a forum, I flounced on ur behalf

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 0:07, archived)
i have subdued my inner twit

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 0:14, archived)
-t

(, Fri 21 Jul 2023, 2:25, archived)
COCKSTENCH
Not really, hullo
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:04, archived)
Well then it must be your feet haha

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:10, archived)
I apologise but phimosis is no laughing matter
I can't clean it properly
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:16, archived)
arseboon dilbaro

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:26, archived)
try washing

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:38, archived)
stick it in a golf ball cleaner
#lifehacks
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:55, archived)
well well well

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:40, archived)
pastis ftw
idk I'm very bored
I like pastis tho
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 20:11, archived)
pernod or ricard?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 20:46, archived)
Ricard obvs
I'm not zome phlizitine
*pisshead it seams
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 21:02, archived)
Have you been to watch Barbie yet?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 20:29, archived)
I have this nasty suspicion you're referring to spying on a child

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 20:49, archived)
Is your username the punchline to 'what's the best thing about getting a handjob from a Barbie?'
No need to answer that, I've already reported you to the authorities.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 21:19, archived)
James That Kirk, see, it's just weird

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 20:51, archived)
It's a great observation, it is.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 21:47, archived)
Can we still post replies?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:16, archived)
Yesss super secret board

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:16, archived)
evening

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 21:50, archived)
You maniac, you blew it up

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:18, archived)
I thought chat had finally been shut down

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 23:21, archived)
Create a new country by going to several different countries and taking a bit of soil from each
and then put a flag in it
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:04, archived)
I was brought up to finish my thread before starting a new one

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:08, archived)
sorry. i'm having an episode 2
i'll be fine in a minute.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:09, archived)
create a new account by getting all your others banned by dint of this sort of drivel

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:08, archived)
No vegans allowed in my country
unless they never mention it
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:26, archived)
No differences allowed at all in my territory

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:27, archived)
Populate it with clones

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:29, archived)
You've managed to make it sound sinister

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:31, archived)
Vinland welcomes identical drivers

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:31, archived)
i-spy Myself

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:35, archived)
No matter where you go, there you are

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:40, archived)
no individual Mr. Sasaki existed

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:01, archived)

getyarn.io/yarn-clip/08548e0c-2d0d-418a-aab9-f4f277a21e5f
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:08, archived)
I don't care if he was a famous actor
That is still a weird middle name
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:11, archived)
Kinky

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 19:40, archived)
I want to do another one! Replace the pony in 'my little pony' to make it...
not horse related. and probably really weird. or don't.

my little tapeworm
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:57, archived)
Please be very quiet as if you were dead.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:01, archived)


(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:01, archived)
That's better.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 18:07, archived)
ruin a food by combining two perfectly acceptable foods
Or don't. Nobody is forcing you.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:48, archived)
It is shown to be green and purple, with a bone sticking out. The food is censored, hence the name.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:55, archived)
Omelette trifle

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:57, archived)
On toast

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:58, archived)
Duck stuffed with dick

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:02, archived)
do you mean dick stuffed duck?
Very common round these parts, ducky
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:04, archived)
No I meant duck stuffed with dick you fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 15:23, archived)
oh duck off

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:35, archived)
Spotted?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:27, archived)
Scrambled

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:43, archived)
i-spy Frotted Foods

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:55, archived)
Frottage cheese

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 15:19, archived)
I'm fuctose intolerant

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:34, archived)
you weren't when we did sexytiems last week

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:42, archived)
lunch is ruined, shut up pls

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:44, archived)
my body, your body
every toe inside our bodies
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:48, archived)
penus / helmit

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:09, archived)
*sigh* HÆLMÏT

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:56, archived)
Kõhl

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 15:20, archived)
🍔

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:31, archived)
Butter + beef trimmings = Bummings
Maybe yours will catch on.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:42, archived)
Brummings

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 15:23, archived)
Coq au Dick

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:59, archived)
Bollocks

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 15:23, archived)
My little chef ramsey saw this. MY LITTLE CHEF RAMSEY.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:36, archived)
Gonz will win this one

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 15:42, archived)
Faggots
Hairy pie
Hafaggie
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 15:50, archived)
Faggot & Squeak

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:14, archived)
The usual lazy rodent stereotypes

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:39, archived)
Ginger biscuits with brown sauce

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:24, archived)
there's a place for people like you
nobody knows where it is, but if anyone finds it, that's where you're fucking going you awful awful strumpet.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:34, archived)
why tho :(

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:38, archived)
probably ran out of hobnobs

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:46, archived)
I should have offered a compromise if I was going to criticize, sorry, how about ginger biscuits and gravy?
You can get the gravy on the side as a dipping sauce.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:48, archived)
she's made her bed let her lie in it
with biscuit crumbs so she can't quite get comfy
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:51, archived)
Gut + Cunt

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:37, archived)
I think I saw them at Wembley Arena

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:45, archived)
They were supporting Minge and the Tits

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:53, archived)
i used to love minge, and the tits of course.
i wonder what happened to them
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:58, archived)
They disappeared up their own gunt

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:07, archived)
one gunt to rule them all

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 17:11, archived)
Bum + burgers

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:53, archived)
Aftergroom
I need a pic of Susie Dent in a swimsuit for research purposes
My institution will pay £35,000
Can anyone help please?
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:19, archived)
I googled her and she looks quite bony
Are you sure you have the correct requirements?
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:21, archived)
Yes
Yes I am
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:57, archived)
don't you open that trap door
Cos there's Susie down there
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:43, archived)
Hi
One of my private school chums has been on Countdown and met Dent in the flesh.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:24, archived)
Cor
Flesh lol
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:58, archived)

een on Countdown and met Dent in the flesh ummed me senseless
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:02, archived)
Goverly insensitive Cheers!

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:04, archived)
Can’t you just use your imagination?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:49, archived)
See this is the outcome when you give 2 year olds iPhones

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:53, archived)
Kids these days, with their TikTok and their pronouns

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:56, archived)
Armando Iannucci did a 2001 sketch
where children ring up a helpline for suggestions on how to play with their toys

Predating all the modern distractions
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:58, archived)
I remember when this place was all fields

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:00, archived)

I'd like to hear some music now. Preferably the Bucharest Symphony Orchestra in chorus, performing Legatti's Requiem, which should be played on a cassette machine with flat batteries. Start the tape now please.

Thanks. Legatti's incorporation of poly-rhythms contrives to produce one of the most difficult and crystalline pieces of music ever written. No piece of music ever summed up death better. No human being ever experienced anything so close to death whilst still being alive. Edward Heath attended the British premier, and asked the conductor whether he had the right music in front of him. That was before inflation. And the three day week. And candles.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:11, archived)
He could never have forseen a toddler using their mum's credit card to experience a Frozen Olaf avatar doing a victory twerk after ripping out someone's spleen in Mortal Kombat XXXVII

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:06, archived)
I remember that episode of Tomorrow’s World

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:09, archived)
I have a Barbie Ipad

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:02, archived)
It's fantastic! It's made from rare minerals mined by children!

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:43, archived)
I will let their Body Talk

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:01, archived)
Pity you didn't need one of Carol Vorderman
For £35K, she'd send you a pic herself
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 13:23, archived)
Happy to oblige
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/91846/1689860246/SuzyDentinaSwimsuit.jpg
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:38, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8378284
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 14:58, archived)
Where's my money?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 16:06, archived)
Morning anuses's

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 6:48, archived)
morning.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 6:55, archived)
How's your cock for spot's?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 6:59, archived)
Better than it was before the antibiotics.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 7:37, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8378259
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 7:06, archived)
ARSEHOLE

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:04, archived)
CHANGE THE FUCKING RECORD YOU STUPID CUNT

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:40, archived)
Still using vinyl?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:13, archived)
Andi Perers

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 11:14, archived)
Perers and Lre

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:04, archived)
horbs

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 7:16, archived)
Dollar dollar

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:04, archived)
mœrning

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 7:23, archived)
Cheers Cheers

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:05, archived)
Cheers

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:33, archived)
What's the stainus morning anus

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:04, archived)
You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:05, archived)
Pick a window

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:40, archived)
The one you just got kicked through

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:56, archived)
XP

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 9:16, archived)
just had a look at all the candidates for the by-elections today.
Piers Corbyn and Laurence Fox having a cunt-off in Boris' seat, and who knew UKIP were still desperately trying to be a thing? Bless 'em.
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:44, archived)
Fuck em, bring on the fascist dictatorship that everybody wants

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:57, archived)
PM Priti

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:59, archived)
Cor!

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 9:41, archived)
Ugly on the inside, Priti on the outside.

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 11:27, archived)
That's all that matters tho

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 11:33, archived)
Armadillos

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 11:59, archived)
What if politicians had the heads of animals?
Fire up whatever will do it quickest
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:01, archived)
Loris Johnson
Yvette Grouper
Theresa Ray
Jacob Rees Frog
Fishy Sunak
Blenny Mordaunt
Muntjac Straw
Douglas Bird
Tony Bear
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:08, archived)
Liz Truss's pork markets

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:22, archived)
tony bLION

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 12:24, archived)
VORDERMAN 4 PM!

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 9:41, archived)
What's the bumless option?

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 8:58, archived)
Colostomy bag explosion

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 9:34, archived)
I'm seeing him at Cold Waves XI!!
/ac
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 10:12, archived)
Morning

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 9:01, archived)
Morning

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 9:35, archived)
Morning
I have an unhealthy obsession with Mrs Perers from the paddy power advert
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 6:17, archived)
Quiet innit?

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 23:45, archived)
-f

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 1:24, archived)
(╯ ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)╯┻━┻

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 1:55, archived)
Good evening

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 19:59, archived)
Is it?

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:02, archived)
I’d like to think so

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:03, archived)
Would you?

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:04, archived)
Yes

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:06, archived)
But you don't really, do you?

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:08, archived)
No :(
I’m such a fraud, can you ever forgive me?
(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:14, archived)
Yeah prolly.

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 21:41, archived)
Even if you would, she probably wouldn't.

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 22:04, archived)
PERFUMED PONCE!

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:15, archived)
Would you like a drink?

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:18, archived)
Hate speech

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:28, archived)
ooh yes please

(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 1:31, archived)
sorry there's none left for you

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 23:25, archived)
You swollen tonsil

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:29, archived)
Are you still giving advice?

(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 20:37, archived)

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