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morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 4 May 2024, 7:35, archived)
Morning
Happy Star Wars day to those who celebrate it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 May 2024, 8:10, archived)
I'm not geeky enough sos
More of a Doctor Who person myself
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 4 May 2024, 8:16, archived)
Oh I love that, too

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 May 2024, 8:55, archived)
Tbh
The Christmas one was terrible sadly
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 4 May 2024, 9:48, archived)
It wasn't great
But it was still better than love and monsters
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 May 2024, 10:10, archived)
and yet many of the same people say that Thatcher's legacy was all bad

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 4 May 2024, 8:26, archived)
She brought the entire country together
In their shared desire to piss on her grave
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 May 2024, 8:56, archived)
I do like their scrumpy

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 4 May 2024, 9:48, archived)
There's a cider called Thatcher's Heritage,
which I think should feature a picture of a depressed unemployed miner on the pump clip.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 4 May 2024, 11:58, archived)
For full irony, it should be milk.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 4 May 2024, 15:49, archived)
and coal dust

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 May 2024, 20:56, archived)
Guten morgen

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 4 May 2024, 8:15, archived)
guten intolerant

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 May 2024, 13:47, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 4 May 2024, 9:09, archived)
Buongiorno

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sat 4 May 2024, 10:57, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 4 May 2024, 2:04, archived)
Yup

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 4 May 2024, 3:51, archived)
Bollocks right back to you too

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sat 4 May 2024, 11:46, archived)
IT'S BOOZE TIME!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:31, archived)
It sure is, buddy

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:35, archived)
yeeeeaaaaahhhhh!!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:38, archived)
WOOHOO

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:49, archived)
LET'S BOOZE, BABY!!!
i'm going to booze my head off
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:00, archived)
FUCK YEAH 🤪 ⚠️ 🎉 🫠 💃 🥂 🥴 😵 🎊 🥤

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:01, archived)
🤪 ⚠️ 🎉 🫠 💃 🥂 🥴 😵 🎊 🥤 OH BOY!!!!!!! 🤪 ⚠️ 🎉 🫠 💃 🥂 🥴 😵 🎊 🥤

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:15, archived)
Can we all come and drink white cider?
Is it in the park?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:31, archived)
no & no

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:41, archived)
Not till after 7

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:32, archived)
bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:41, archived)
I can't, it's haram.

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:56, archived)
booze never haram'd anyone

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 17:57, archived)
+50p

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 3 May 2024, 18:19, archived)
the miserable world of harambo

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 18:34, archived)
Can't get a good bit of haram for less than a fiver these days

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 3 May 2024, 18:50, archived)
Trudat, the cost of living crisis is really taking it's toll on my haram habit

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 3 May 2024, 18:54, archived)
have you tried sparam?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 19:07, archived)
The drum & bass record label started by a convenience store? I liked them before they were famous

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 3 May 2024, 19:39, archived)
7/7 (including 2 lucky guesses)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-68944579
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:53, archived)
Arsebanditry

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:06, archived)
The best kind of banditry.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:06, archived)

anditry oon dilbaro
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 3 May 2024, 16:18, archived)
5/7
Only knew the arena one because I covered for a girl who went there on Wednesday
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:09, archived)
+gnome with a hardon

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:20, archived)
Obviously

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:56, archived)
3 flying guesses

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:19, archived)
Bollocks

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 3 May 2024, 15:32, archived)
Tits

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:35, archived)
Hiya

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 3 May 2024, 15:54, archived)
I like tits
It's the wife's bday soon every year I offer to get her a boob job, get yourself a massive pair of jubblies
Every year I get a slap
Lol jubblies
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:19, archived)
Your relationship sounds toxic.
No offence.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:33, archived)
Can you buy me a boob job?
I want a reduction
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sat 4 May 2024, 11:47, archived)
Hey now, you're a smeg head
Get your ghey on, get fucked

Not really, hello everybodypeeps! Haha, remember 'Stavros'? 'I have lots of money!!' That was his catchphrase. Good toimes.

Good weekend ahead? Steak dinnner tonight, chicken cuz 2moz, roast Sun. Might go to a Michelangelo exhibition at the British Museum Sunday morn. Cowabunga lmao rofl
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:23, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:43, archived)
How dare you push Mr horrible down the board
One does not do that
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:45, archived)
You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:45, archived)
You would say that

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:53, archived)
a unifying search for truth and identity against the backdrop of colonial hegemony and misinformation?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:16, archived)
Too many large words for me ;)

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:15, archived)
Bad night last night
So I'm tired today. Should be an easy shift in work, though, as almost everyone will have fucked off early for the bank holiday weekend or not bothered coming in at all. Got a lift in and one home as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:20, archived)
could be worse eh
I have to work Monday, Bank Holidays are irrelevant in my line of work
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:23, archived)
I always enjoy the Tuesday after the bank holiday
The constant procession of dockers being called into occupational health to be tested for drugs and alcohol. The look of panic on their faces is as good as an admission of guilt.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:39, archived)
are they random tests or do they all have to do them?
an ex of mine went out with a football player, apparently they were always given a month or two's notice when a test was incoming
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:49, archived)
I think that's kind of a "there will be some testing during this time and you may or may not be selected"
But also "you must be available at all times in this period"
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:58, archived)
My brother in law via my ex wife was a professional football player

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:59, archived)
Random tests with no prior warning
The amount of idiots who think they can be on it all Friday and Saturday night and not have it show up in tests on Tuesday is unreal. They're really cracking down on them now because they need to get rid of 350 people and the voluntary redundancy thing didn't work as well as they hoped.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:59, archived)
Really knew his audience when he painted at the vatican, gave them all a child's penis.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 May 2024, 18:46, archived)
Friday lunchtime bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:17, archived)
sorry m8, didn't see you there

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:24, archived)
BOLLOCKS

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 3 May 2024, 16:48, archived)
Is there a vegetarian option?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:44, archived)
Follocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 15:20, archived)
HAPPY CANDLE DAY SMASH!

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 3 May 2024, 10:19, archived)
Thanks:)

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 10:35, archived)
7 happy flaming candles up your bum™

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:13, archived)
yes indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:11, archived)
Sacked anyone recently from an ethnic background?
Bit bigoted tbh
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:24, archived)
yes, hoping to sack another one next week

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:31, archived)
Golf applause xxxx

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:59, archived)

a u
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 3 May 2024, 12:00, archived)
How many sucks are acceptable daily?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 12:03, archived)
69, dude

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 13:17, archived)
unother, monster munch

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 12:11, archived)
Maaaaaaarning

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:28, archived)
Fucken' candles!!!

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:42, archived)
My other account has a lot more

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:49, archived)
That other acount being Bou?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:13, archived)
No
My original smash monkey account that I use when I'm on the laptop
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 14:18, archived)
Fork handles

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 12:01, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 May 2024, 7:39, archived)
What?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 May 2024, 7:51, archived)
HE SAID MORNING CANT YOU FUCKING READ

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 3 May 2024, 9:30, archived)
Good to see the Tories getting a good shoeing.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 3 May 2024, 8:21, archived)
Hopefully Penny Mordaunt will get a thorough pounding

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 May 2024, 8:37, archived)
I can't fucking stand Monster Raving Loony lot
Funny as a dose
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 9:12, archived)
Lots of old French fellas already on the beer . No wonder everybody has a kip at lunch

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 3 May 2024, 8:23, archived)
The Europeans have the right idea

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 May 2024, 8:36, archived)
If you can't beat them...

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 9:13, archived)
Way ahead of you, cest la vie

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 3 May 2024, 9:37, archived)
I quite fancied that Lindsay Armaou

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 3 May 2024, 9:56, archived)
I'll tell her

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 3 May 2024, 10:24, archived)
bonjour

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 May 2024, 11:10, archived)
morning
Not realised how dead /board is until now. Rob might as well just delete everything apart from /talk and /links
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 3 May 2024, 9:51, archived)
Because the image challenges are whack

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 3 May 2024, 10:20, archived)
I found a pound in the park
Today is a good day
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 3 May 2024, 10:19, archived)
mate, it was embedded in a dog egg

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 May 2024, 10:21, archived)
I thought it was chocolate :(

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 3 May 2024, 10:22, archived)
MORNING
Said like Brian Blessed
Watcha up to this weekend?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 6:36, archived)
Not much
See the family, get pissed, maybe go out for lunch
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 6:52, archived)
Checking out new Chinese tonight
That's about it
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 3 May 2024, 7:20, archived)
Nice
My mum is already asking me where I want to go for my birthday meal, which is in October. My family loves going to restaurants
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 May 2024, 7:41, archived)
How? Why? Uh?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 May 2024, 7:51, archived)
I'm in the hotel flamboyant, it's not. I could be bothered fishing anymore. Holidays eh? Fucking shit eh ?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 2 May 2024, 17:19, archived)
Not as shit as being on a packed overground train where there seems to be a duel going on between BO and guffs
I promise you
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 17:35, archived)
I honestly might be Team Guffs here
these slavs have an epic BO game, eyewatering
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 17:36, archived)
What are you talking about, you're the captain of Team Guffs.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 May 2024, 17:49, archived)
Bolocks, the highest he's ever achieved is a yellow wind warning

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 17:51, archived)
Pretty sure it was more of a murky browny-green colour.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 May 2024, 18:01, archived)
Can understand about the fishing, difficult to see the point when you know you're never doing to do better than some binman
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c97zn8g6296o
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 2 May 2024, 17:53, archived)
that's nothing. there are catfish in india that'll eat you whole

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 18:38, archived)
everything's shit mate
it's all downhill from here, as my dad used to say.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 18:13, archived)
But then, he did live at the summit of Mount Everest.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 May 2024, 18:25, archived)
he was really looking forward to drone deliveries shame they never took off.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 18:28, archived)
i'm just going out for some cigarettes
i may be some time
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 18:30, archived)
I'm looking forward to mine
I haven't had one for over 10 years
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 18:31, archived)
i hope it isn't shit

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 18:32, archived)
I very much doubt it
The hotel is one I've stayed at before and it has a jacuzzi and bar on the roof. Kids are not allowed on the roof. I can sit in a jacuzzi all day in the sunshine getting merrily hammered, especially as it's all inclusive
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 19:58, archived)
sorry the roof terrace is closed due to an outbreak of foot and mouth
and Bum's disease
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 20:06, archived)
The beach is just around the corner
There are 2 pools downstairs, not to mention a games room, 2 more bars and a vr suite. I think I'm going to be ok.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 20:25, archived)
There was a group of 20 pissed-up scousers on my 6am flight to Dubrovnik the other day.
19 women and one token flamboyant gay bloke who seemed to be in charge of allocating the two shiny silver foil peaked caps they were sharing. They place they were heading to sounds like what you describe.

It's my idea of absolute hell populated by the worst cunts in the universe, but each to their own, eh.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 2 May 2024, 20:35, archived)
bit harsh m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 20:36, archived)
I was paying 100 quid a night to camp in the rain. Everything is shit.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 2 May 2024, 20:38, archived)
Probably from Kirkby
They give the rest of us a bad name
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 21:31, archived)
i hope so
as long as a ww2 sea mine doesn't wash up on the beach
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 20:35, archived)
i looked that up, looks like lakes everywhere
any obvious reason it's a bit shit?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 19:06, archived)
Weather and high murky water. Cest la vie

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 2 May 2024, 22:43, archived)
I'm sure there's a single German word for the sickening disappointment of a long awaited holiday that turns out to be fucking awful
Suggestions?

Vakazasheiseninderstukkenißlot
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 2 May 2024, 19:32, archived)
are we allowed to mention the war?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 19:34, archived)
Not without treading on my
Freizenßfrotzbittentozen
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 2 May 2024, 19:37, archived)
ok

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 19:39, archived)
Which is the best two-digit prime and why?
Not which is your favourite, but which is the best.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:07, archived)
why stop at two digits?
Is something I often get asked during prostate exams
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:12, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:13, archived)
Highlight of my day those

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:18, archived)
11
Because it's the first
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:40, archived)
17 because cicadas

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:42, archived)
Noisy bastards

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:49, archived)

cicadas East 17
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 May 2024, 17:42, archived)
not even in my top 10

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:52, archived)
Oh no

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:17, archived)
SUPPURATING PREPUCE thread
hi spacker's
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 13:30, archived)
Big hairy balls, cuntface

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 13:38, archived)
speaking, how may I help you?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 14:24, archived)
two balls, please. tightly squeezed.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:39, archived)
Prepuce, postpuce, it's all gravy baby

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 May 2024, 13:57, archived)
Remind me never to eat anything you cook

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 14:08, archived)
Especially not carrots

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 14:15, archived)
-n +h

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:41, archived)
I've had the most excruciating 24hrs:
I had to let a guy go as his sales figures are shit and he's so Indian I can't understand him, not even in writing and much worse on the phone. I said that we've been losing money so we need to get someone else in, and that perhaps poor communication/English was why. His reaction: 'sir I am not a money thief!'. I had to explain that I wasn't accusing him of theft and that this communication failure was a great example of what I was talking about. He messaged me today asking if he was working on Saturday.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 14:18, archived)
You racist tosser, sacking a brown so you can hire a white

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 May 2024, 14:24, archived)
That was me sahib Queef

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:07, archived)
so is he working saturday or not?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 15:55, archived)
And is he a money thief?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:01, archived)
tune in at the same time next week to find out

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:18, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:19, archived)
no swearing please

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:30, archived)
Chev yeah

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:53, archived)
He totes is

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:42, archived)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:42, archived)
Wankfish

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:56, archived)
These pots and pans are made from a stainless material and they're only $5 each. It's a steel!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:14, archived)
fuck of

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 2 May 2024, 16:19, archived)
👍🏻

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 May 2024, 17:08, archived)
Be a real shame if someone flew into your kitchen tonight and made a mess of them.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 May 2024, 18:04, archived)
PUTRID FLATULENCE thread #2
Mine is homebrew stout and omelette
@proud
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 6:24, archived)
Please, Daz, stop posting on b3ta

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:09, archived)
On it m8

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:44, archived)
Cider and peas here
Cider and peas
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:29, archived)
Not cheesy peas?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:45, archived)
Cheesy peas would cause arsemageddon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:51, archived)
How ladylike

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:55, archived)
I may be a woman
But I never claimed to be a lady
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 May 2024, 8:02, archived)
Lol

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 8:12, archived)
Shut it Lisa Stansfield

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 May 2024, 8:58, archived)
I've just spotted the thread below
and I can report that last night I rent the air with huge, loud stinking farts all throughout the night. I had to open the windows when I got up, it was vile.

Have our guts and guffs synchronised like womens' periods?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 May 2024, 8:57, archived)
As opposed to men's periods?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 9:22, archived)
As oposed to another kind of period
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Period_(periodic_table)
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 May 2024, 9:39, archived)
May have just bagged a couple of free tickets to St Vincent
fucking yes!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 May 2024, 9:17, archived)
St Vincent did a song with David Byrne
It didn't inspire me to investigate further
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 9:57, archived)
Oh one of Jellyfish is in her touring band
So there's that.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 10:01, archived)
Talking Heads were a bit crap tbh
No Dexy's that's for sure
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 10:13, archived)
Who were, really

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 10:19, archived)
Thomson Twins at a push

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 10:23, archived)
Come To Daddy and Windowlicker were alright

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 10:27, archived)
Yasss!
bagged the fuckaz!!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 May 2024, 10:55, archived)
I really need to stop buying gig tickets and then finding I can't be arsed with life when the date arrives

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 11:21, archived)
I always pictured you as a cheery optimist who skipped through life in a happy gay fashion

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 11:54, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 May 2024, 12:00, archived)
:)

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 11:26, archived)
oh man I LOVE the Caribbean!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 May 2024, 13:10, archived)
Time to top the fart factor up
Cabbage water and Campbell meatballs
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 2 May 2024, 13:05, archived)
PUTRID FLATULENCE thread
howdy, guffer's
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 May 2024, 19:53, archived)
Alright Queef
Youtube is now recommending me AI music for some reason.
I guess it's pretty impressive how far it's come though. youtu.be/yuoFsi2iIi0?si=P9-Zge8K1Sz_ycGd
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 1 May 2024, 20:02, archived)
how is this different to other threads?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 20:43, archived)
I had lasagne for dinner
And I'm lactose intolerant, so my guffs are positively lethal
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 May 2024, 21:17, archived)
Minge toot, queefers
Minge toot
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 1 May 2024, 21:49, archived)
Duane Deddy

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 May 2024, 22:15, archived)
For a minute I was worried that Cat from Red Dwarf's geeky alter ego had died.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 2 May 2024, 0:34, archived)
Everybody's deaf, Duane.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:39, archived)
Yeah, I'm choosing to own that typo and pretend it was intentional.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 2 May 2024, 7:39, archived)
I don't fart badly

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 2 May 2024, 10:00, archived)
it's beer thirty
*SHLUUURP*
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:30, archived)
It's not beer o clock yet
You alcoholic
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:32, archived)
it fucking is

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:35, archived)
IM JUST JELLY COZ I GOT NO BEER

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:37, archived)
well tbh i only have cider so

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:38, archived)
Me loves beer and cider
And wine
And vodka
And gin

Maybe I'm the alcoholic
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:40, archived)
maybe

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:42, archived)
You're quiet today.
No insults
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:44, archived)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:48, archived)
I always check online first
isitbeeroclock.com/
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:43, archived)
Brilliant :)

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:44, archived)
I'm having a half-litre of Ožujsko right now IYKWIM

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:37, archived)
n

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:39, archived)
I'm in Croatia drinking beer IYKWIM

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:42, archived)
man I fucking love Croatia
Sibenik is beautiful
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:44, archived)
We're on Mljet, nice chilled week in the national park.
Need a quiet holiday, life's been a bit intense. /blog
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:49, archived)
yeah I hear you man
unfortunately our trip to Vienna was far from quiet, it was 'US tourist' levels of running aroud trying to see/do as much as possible in not enough time
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 May 2024, 17:20, archived)
why are you trying to bang my ex wife?
i'll fucking kill ya
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 19:23, archived)
last time i went there were bullet holes in everything

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:51, archived)
They've stopped shooting now, probably saving their ammo in case you come back

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 May 2024, 17:03, archived)
no need got a divorce years ago

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 17:13, archived)
you see that all over Palermo too, but those are from WWII lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 May 2024, 17:18, archived)
butt lol

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 17:51, archived)
Alright, Smug Bastard

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 May 2024, 19:40, archived)
Beer 5 o'clock
Crusty sock
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 1 May 2024, 17:08, archived)
dr is booze good for me?
positive replies only pls
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 19:26, archived)
It is now

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 May 2024, 19:15, archived)
SHLUUURP!!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 1 May 2024, 19:21, archived)
10.22, arseboon dilbaroooo

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 May 2024, 10:22, archived)
Just gone half one here

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 1 May 2024, 12:37, archived)
how's it going mongy

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 May 2024, 12:42, archived)
Dead, all 4 lakes. Fucking pointless. I'm going Barbados when I get back

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 1 May 2024, 12:48, archived)
Catch a wahoo

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 May 2024, 12:52, archived)
Try different bait

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 May 2024, 12:56, archived)
This middle-aged carp-botherer tried a new bait.
You won't believe what happened next!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 May 2024, 13:12, archived)
Did he catch a wahoo?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 May 2024, 14:15, archived)
fuck

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 May 2024, 13:30, archived)
a wahoo

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 May 2024, 14:34, archived)
mofahoo
mr horriboo
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 May 2024, 15:28, archived)

youtu.be/0yFfyPJF67Y?si=D4tdftnESS1wtrw5
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 1 May 2024, 15:48, archived)
16.30 I'm feeling dirty
In the shower I go
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 15:30, archived)
This sounds like you're planning to take a manual vacation to Clitsville.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 May 2024, 15:43, archived)
With a wahoo

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 May 2024, 15:50, archived)

McDaniel?
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 1 May 2024, 17:16, archived)
You just have a dirty mind
I meant I need a good wash
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:30, archived)
Don't listen to these meanies, it's your minge and you can wash it as hard and as fast as you like.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:32, archived)
Damn right
I mean what?
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 16:39, archived)
Morning comrades
Up and at 'em eh?
Alt, just watch some barnyard and do billy/japper stuff
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 1 May 2024, 6:45, archived)
Been up a while
It was my dad's 78th birthday yesterday and I spent most of the night worrying about how much longer he and mum have left
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 May 2024, 7:56, archived)
Awwww
Try not to worry
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 1 May 2024, 8:08, archived)
It's fine during the day
But as soon as I go to bed, my brain kicks off
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 May 2024, 8:10, archived)
*hugs you*
I've lost both my parents. The only thing I can say is you'll have the strength to deal with it when it happens. Hugs.
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 8:39, archived)
have you tried down the back of the sofa?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 May 2024, 13:57, archived)
I know the feeling

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 May 2024, 10:12, archived)
Horrible, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 May 2024, 11:01, archived)
That's me m8

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 May 2024, 12:52, archived)
I never meant to upset anyone.
Goodbye forever.
(sticklebricks, Wed 1 May 2024, 6:03, archived)
Good riddance

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 8:37, archived)
All Ginsters taste the effurrt.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 1 May 2024, 0:32, archived)
I. Don't get it

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 1 May 2024, 8:38, archived)
I don't get FOMO.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 1 May 2024, 14:45, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 30 Apr 2024, 19:52, archived)
Again?
I haven't finished the last ones
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 30 Apr 2024, 21:18, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8411138
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Apr 2024, 22:58, archived)
PALL Auster

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 May 2024, 7:01, archived)

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