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We've got a hedgehog in the garden, hiding under a bush.
Not great for the dog, who just goes mental at it, but a nice nature story.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 24 May 2024, 23:37, archived)
Ask him about doing your guts in

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 24 May 2024, 23:53, archived)
Sounds hellish

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 25 May 2024, 0:05, archived)
you can eat it, but it tastes like pricks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 25 May 2024, 0:10, archived)
Not seen a hedgehog in mine for a long time.
I occasionally hear them screaming in the distance, as they're murdered by badgers.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 25 May 2024, 15:39, archived)
my leg hurts
does your leg hurt?
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:22, archived)
I'm 50. I hurt

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:23, archived)
Not far behind, everything hurts

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:24, archived)
alright 'REM'

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:25, archived)
49 last week. I have a stock of ibuprofen

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:25, archived)
Do your guts in, hedgehog will tell you

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:27, archived)
yeah
I abused the gel on my shoulder and fucked up my skin for ages
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:33, archived)
A wild Smallbrainfield appears

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:40, archived)
Always use the Gel

(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 24 May 2024, 22:53, archived)
50 in October
Not everything hurts, which I'm glad about
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:59, archived)
you taking your vit d and calcium?
it's about now your body'll start dissolving your bones
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 21:03, archived)
I'm on multivitamins, calcium and iron supplements for life
Surgery was essential but left me sorely lacking in vital nutrients
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 21:06, archived)
My knees hurt

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:58, archived)
:(

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 21:02, archived)
You don't get to be as big as I was
For as long as I was without serious damage to your legs
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 21:04, archived) 

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(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:09, archived)
i've been listening to Transvision Vamp
have you been listening to old music lately? if so please tell me about it including diagrams
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:26, archived)
Dexys Midnight Runners, Thomson Twins and Spandau Ballet
Oh and Crass
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:42, archived)
get back to work you slacker

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:44, archived)
i WONDER if you know who this is?
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/10342/1716578507/39efc7e8d15a4a5fbddfeaed49ae7cad.jpeg
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:23, archived)
Brian Cant

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 24 May 2024, 21:12, archived)
I'm sure he can't, but this is Pete Stennett, founder of Small Wonder Records, the label Crass were on

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 21:55, archived)
She was gorgeous.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:57, archived)
oh man. that is true.
one of the first albums i owned. loved it and at the time only ever seen her on the cassette cover.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:59, archived)
andy warhol's dead
dead asleep
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:06, archived)
she was no Rachel from Slowdive

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:58, archived)
Cor!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:59, archived)
Yeah, loads

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:25, archived)
fanks 4 ur input

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:29, archived)
Joy Division, Big Black, Eric B & Rakim, Bark Psychosis, Tuff Crew, Slint.
OK???
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:41, archived)
no

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:53, archived)
Pretty old tho

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:59, archived)
leave my sister out of this

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:59, archived)
I meant yir maw

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:00, archived)
no speako dago

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:00, archived)
Aye, awa in bile yir heid

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:01, archived)
bile? do the scotch really pronounce it bile?

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:03, archived)
Depends what dialect/accent they use.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:04, archived)
where then?

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:05, archived)
Scotland, can't you fucking read?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:06, archived)
but you just said not all porridge wogs talk like that
keep up!
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:21, archived)

ialect/accent rugs
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:08, archived)
+d
it is scotland we're talking about
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:24, archived)
I mostly listen to Disturbed
But I also love Queen, AC/DC, Ozzy, Metallica and a bit of Harry Belafonte
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:44, archived)
what's your cut off for 'old'?

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:56, archived)
20,000 BC

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:56, archived)
then no

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:58, archived)
oh. shame.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:59, archived)
Sure, here's an ASCII diagram of someone listening to music with two speakers and a record player:

  _______      
 /       \     (O)
 |       |    /|\
 |       |   / \
 |_______|   
  Speaker     Speaker
     ___
    |   |______
    |  _____   |
    | |     |  |
    | |     |  |
    | |_____|  |
    |__________|
   Record Player


(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:12, archived)
He's got that record crate stoop

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:17, archived)
it's very well observed
if you ignore the missing speaker
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:24, archived)
Happy Mondays on CD
I'm more 2.4 hour party people nowadays tho
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 24 May 2024, 20:18, archived)
Hello from the trenches
How's everyone's Friday going? Not long to go to GIN o'clock! Or beer whatever you like. What do you like?
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:21, archived)
Drugs.
Pretty much all of them, tbh.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 May 2024, 14:26, archived)
I also like drugs. I have to stay very, very far away.
Massive addict personality
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:47, archived)
Yes, I do picture you huddled over a lighter and a spoon in a piss-soaked alleyway

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:56, archived)
Tourniquet improvised from the handle of a bin bag, rain dripping from your lank, greasy hair

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:57, archived)
We've all been there

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:57, archived)
I'm so impressed with your verbosity
It's a great improvement from er bollocks although we all love a good pair
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:08, archived)
Shove it up your rectum bollockschops

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:57, archived)
you would say that

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:05, archived)
That'll be 7pm

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:36, archived)
only an hour to go
how long is your drive home?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:00, archived)
Keep your sordid wank fantasies to yourself, please.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:59, archived)
I was nearly there!

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:00, archived)
^vinegar strokes^

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 24 May 2024, 17:19, archived)
I'm at a festival and totally fucked on gear

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 24 May 2024, 17:19, archived)
I've got some bottles of cheeky vino blanco in the frigo
I expect I'll molest one of them.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:11, archived)
Mmm. Nice :)
I've got some cheap plonk which I might guzzle later. Headache tomorrow.
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:31, archived)
More gone Spurlock

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:44, archived)
Super dies me

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:45, archived)
?

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:08, archived)
In work this evening
Then off till Tuesday. Yay Bank Holiday weekend!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 15:44, archived)
Extra days to drink and then sleep in :)
I'm drowning my sorrows in cheap plonk tonight
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:09, archived)
Cider until I pass out it in my own piss and vomit
or as I prefer to call it "a cheeky drinky".
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:01, archived)
Chemical white cider I hope
Do it properly man
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:38, archived)
A cheeky drinky eh?
Me has quite a few of those
I'm think I'm becoming an alkie
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:11, archived)
Alcohol is haram

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:04, archived)
Are youa Muslim.

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:12, archived)
Go away

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 24 May 2024, 17:20, archived)
you are haram

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:42, archived)
IT'S BEER MINUTES PAST 4!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:05, archived)
I think you'll find it's whisky thirty seven

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:37, archived)
perhaps

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:39, archived)
I'm at work till 7pm

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:40, archived)
Sux 2 b u lol

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:53, archived)
HA!
sorry i mean what a dedicated person you are

pffft
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:54, archived)
Vests, drugs and booze
Oh yeahI suppose my family are ok
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:36, archived)
The Decline of the Vest

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 May 2024, 16:44, archived)
Avested development

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:54, archived)
Vests?

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:19, archived)
yeah. they're knickers you can shit through

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:43, archived)
They're just called knickers, aren't they?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 May 2024, 17:49, archived)
don't think so.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 17:56, archived)
oh no

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 May 2024, 18:02, archived)

www.instagram.com/reel/C67xsr_tE6q/
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:03, archived)
oh dick i wonder sometimes

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 24 May 2024, 18:14, archived)
Your score: 5 / 7 Supermarket Flowers
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-69054955
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:43, archived)
3/7 Paula Vennells

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:48, archived)
7/7 Strokin' like Clarence Carter

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:50, archived)
i did better than that

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:55, archived)
That has started 'This means nothing to me ' from Vienna earworming it's way round my head
Ta muchly
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:33, archived)
Vienna was a black and white cat
Postman Pat, Postman Pat
I hope this cured your ear worm
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:38, archived)
5/7 BPD is a hermaphrodite

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:52, archived)
'Both Parts' Dave, we call herm.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 May 2024, 12:55, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:56, archived)
I'm quite pleased with 'herm' as a pronoun.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 May 2024, 13:12, archived)
as you should be

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:25, archived)
Herm/therm theys/thems

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:37, archived)
then it can go fuck itself

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:59, archived)
1

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:56, archived)
3
fuck it
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:38, archived)
is that needy spastic still doing the guardian one?

(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:39, archived)
No, she just posts on here.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:40, archived)
I haven't noticed it on there for ages, cunt must have died
of shame, probably
or it shit its own guts out trying to force out some lolwakki
or Sparks finally sued, cease and desist from being shit
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 16:48, archived)
you are bringing our reputation into disrepute
by being needlessly shit in a national publication
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 19:57, archived)
5/7 Constitution of Uruguay of 1830

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:48, archived)
better thread
hi
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:34, archived)
Hello!
Oh my, yes, this IS a better thread. So comfy!
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:35, archived)
So much room for activities!

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:35, archived)
yes I'm pretty pleased with how it's turned out

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:39, archived)
If we play this just right we might even get a chevron!

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:41, archived)
What sort of activities?Reading? Orienteering? Punting?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:22, archived)
It's called East-Asian-teering actually, you terrible racist.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 May 2024, 12:39, archived)
Haha look who it is! It's me! Two Hats!
Imagine that!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:43, archived)
Alright two hats

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:44, archived)
Haha Hi!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:55, archived)
How's your lawn doing?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:56, archived)
This still doesn't make sense, but thanks for playing

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:14, archived)
Unless you're sincerely asking
In which case, it's fine thanks. It's really big, which makes it difficult to maintain, especially now, where we've had lots of sun and rain, so we're having to mow it a lot. First time ever, I've paid for gardeners, because my time is valuable and I don't want to spend all summer just working on it. I'd rather sit in it and sun my bald bonce.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:17, archived)
we're looking at getting a cleaner again
it's been four years since we last had one, I'm fucking sick of cleaning
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:43, archived)
I was always against such things
But it all just takes so much time, and I like not working at the weekend
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:53, archived)
my attitude is to ask myself what my hourly rate would be to do the task
and whether I'd rather have the time or the money
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:56, archived)
would agree
due to the higher thread count
(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Fri 24 May 2024, 11:56, archived)
I mean compared with the last one it's night and day
So much better
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:41, archived)
Congratulations on your thread management xxxx
Have a biscuit
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:19, archived)
soggy+

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:42, archived)
Hello
Off to pick up my new glasses shortly. Need an actual appointment to get them now.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:36, archived)
hi m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:49, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 7:27, archived)
When I was young I liked marmite
But now I am old, I do not
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 May 2024, 7:41, archived)
Morning, I mean

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 May 2024, 7:41, archived)
It's true what they say then,
either you like it or you don't like it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 24 May 2024, 7:45, archived)
Morning, I mean

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 24 May 2024, 7:45, archived)
Morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 7:51, archived)
I don't like it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 24 May 2024, 8:51, archived)
Alright, Barnaby Bear

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 8:51, archived)
Actually we've got friends coming over from France to stay for a few nights.
Might buy them a pair of Tam o'Shanter hats and then take them to buy some heroin.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 24 May 2024, 9:16, archived)
Buckfast too
Breakfast of champions
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 9:30, archived)
just do what everyone.else does
steal office supplies
(piss and shit, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:45, archived)
Yes, marmite is the b3ta of toast toppings
Except some people like marmite
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 May 2024, 8:08, archived)
Marmite motorway?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 9:28, archived)
Hiya

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 24 May 2024, 8:38, archived)
Morning comrade

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 9:30, archived)
Morning comrade

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 9:27, archived)
might do a dab of pink champagne

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 24 May 2024, 9:46, archived)
Any fewl kno
Japper insertion is the medically correct method
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 10:19, archived)
Funny AF that Corbyn's been expelled from Labour.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 10:31, archived)
I reckon he'll get it

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 10:48, archived)
He should just retire, the useless vain old wanker

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 10:49, archived)
Dozer you mean?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 24 May 2024, 10:51, archived)
No m8.
Jeremy 'always right' Corbyn.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 10:51, archived)
now the slide into George Galloway territory

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:49, archived)
Awful, preening vanity?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 24 May 2024, 12:53, archived)
Basically, yes

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 13:29, archived)
Quick bollocks, yeah

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 May 2024, 23:56, archived)
Bollocks it is then

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 0:45, archived)
You freakishly suave famous cad

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Fri 24 May 2024, 14:02, archived)
there's a pub quite near me called the pub quite near him
and i'm actually barred from it which is quite annoying
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:20, archived)
pbvqaiuwd

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:22, archived)
righto

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:48, archived)
I'VE BEEN DRINKING
!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:49, archived)
have you been drinking (!!!!!!!)?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:49, archived)
Just having a pint and a double
Cafe Spice Namaste supper club, Goan food with rum pairings starts in 25mins. Might have a wank
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:04, archived)
dunno what any of that means apart from the wank bit, also the pint bit
and the double
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:07, archived)
Will there be fish head curry?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:04, archived)
you make me sick

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:10, archived)
Didn't like marrilion eh

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:24, archived)
never heard of them m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:33, archived)
Goa is known for fish head curry

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 21:38, archived)
And trance.
Don't forget the trance.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 23 May 2024, 22:18, archived)
Trance fish

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 22:31, archived)
goa way

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 23:40, archived)
Oh no

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 May 2024, 23:45, archived)
a-ha's take on me has been watched nearly two billion times on the youtubes
i just listened to it and it's well good like
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:51, archived)
fuck off then

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:01, archived)
No it's not m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:02, archived)
fuck off then
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:07, archived)
it probably would be
on these babies
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:10, archived)
72kg EACH
holy fuck.

to me to you.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:17, archived)
before anyone posts Bowers & Wilkins Nautilus
it can get wayyy crazier than that
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:20, archived)
I subscribed to what hifi for years. Before other shit got involved, tv , 5.1, wankers.loved the magazine being delivered.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:29, archived)
i still get the motorcycle action group mag delivered every month. rarely even open the plastic these days

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:32, archived)
It's fair enough pop. Norwegian lads, 80s. Catchy, had a beat and not bad lyrics. I've never been a snob of anything. Except meteorological

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:27, archived)
alite barry ometer

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:30, archived)
Y r u b&?
Apart from wanking into the urinals
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 20:13, archived)
There's a pub near me that swears he's Elvis

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 23 May 2024, 21:27, archived)
It did
Until it was destroyed by a speedboat
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 21:40, archived)
The sign got too heavy and came crashing down

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 23:41, archived)
My local pub was called the cock and seaman
But now it's a halfway house
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 21:39, archived)
Groan
I have back to back lessons tomorrow.
Supposed to take it easy on Fridays but noooooo everybody and their dawg has booked me. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the work but I'm very tired. Taking off a week in June and 2 weeks in July. Best I could do.Are you having any summer holidays?
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:22, archived)
Yes
I shall be going to Nice which is nice. Got family down there so gonna stay with them for a couple of days but it will mean flying with Ryanair.

Going to do a long weekend in September taking the bicycles to Northern France. Get the ferry from Newhaven to Dieppe, cycle down to Rouen. It's a lovely way to spend a couple of days.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:49, archived)
Do you think even more people would go on holiday to Nice if they renamed it Awesome?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 23 May 2024, 13:53, archived)
About as many as would go on holiday to Port Talbot if they renamed it Notshit*
*but is actualy shit
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:16, archived)
Oh my word garold that sounds fabulous
I am jelly.
I've flown with Ryanair, they are good and cheap.
No frills.
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:55, archived)
Ryanair are tosses hth

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:13, archived)
Why do you say that?
I had a good experience
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:21, archived)
I'd love to take a month or so
And travel slowly down the canal du midi on a barge, stopping off in the little towns and villages
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:58, archived)

👏👏👏
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:59, archived)

I'd love to take a month or so
And travel slowly down the canal du midi on a barge, stopping off in the little towns and villages

LOL ANAL!!!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:15, archived)
You've got a song there
I'd love to take a month or so
And travel down by barge
The long canal du midi oh,
And think of Nige Farage,

Stopping off in villages,
And towns and this and that
While contemplating Mr F
The monumental twat.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:19, archived)
Haha clicking this

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:22, archived)
And that's a clickin'

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:27, archived)
that last line sells it

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 15:12, archived)
No dissing our Nigel please

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 15:59, archived)
Not summer, as such
But I'm going to Spain in September and I've taken a week off in October for my birthday
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:56, archived)
Well I think that's a good time to go to Spain actually because it's not that hot.
Also jelly.
Spain sounds awesome. Which part of Spain?
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:58, archived)
Lloret DeMar
Been there before, might take the train to Barcelona for a day trip, haven't been to the market there in years
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:06, archived)
I've heard that Barcelona is amazing?

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:20, archived)
It is indeed
If you go down the little backstreets, away from the more touristy areas. Fabulous architecture and the seafood is amazing
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:29, archived)
Sounds beautiful
I must try and go there one day
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:31, archived)
Avoid benidorm
Full of gammon twats complaining about not being able to get English beer or that Spain has actual Spanish people living there
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 16:03, archived)
The telly show is actually a fly on the wall documentary

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 16:06, archived)
That reminds me of Shirley Valentine

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 18:40, archived)

- streets
+ passages
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 16:05, archived)
Nope
# 1 is off to Saudi with her Hogwarts mate as long as she doesn't convert to Islam that's cool
# 3 is still a bit young for travel
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:12, archived)
Lol I hope she doesn't
She'll come back wearing a burka (sp)
How old is #3?
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:25, archived)
Nearly14

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 15:57, archived)
nothing planned
prolly take a week in September down to Southern Italy, Calabria or Puglia most likely. I'd also like to visit Matera but I reckon a day trip would do it. Hopefully 3 weeks in Asia early next year
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:18, archived)
Calabria oh my heart ♥

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:26, archived)
Does a weekend in Crewe count?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 16:02, archived)
Whatever floats your boat!

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Thu 23 May 2024, 16:32, archived)
a bucket full of spunk

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:09, archived)
Must be a very small boat

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:47, archived)
it's not what you've got

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 17:52, archived)
New York, London, Paris, Munich

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 16:57, archived)
afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:21, archived)
Tree blew down beside my house last night, almost blocking the road.
One of the support workers lives along the road so I said this morning "you managed to get past the tree, then?" She replied "oh, yeah... what happened?"

She's thick as fuck.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:44, archived)
Keyword: Scottish.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:48, archived)
Hilariously, she's English.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 15:02, archived)
what a shame I'm missing the LOL ISLAMOPHOBIA thread above.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 15:06, archived)
the what now? private window time perhaps
ok, maybe it's fine elsewhere, but "how old is your youngest" is creepy as fuck on here
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 15:14, archived)

creepy as fuck on here the Bee Geezzz
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 15:47, archived)
It didn't seem creepy to me, but I understand why you'd be more alert to anything potentially creepy than most would.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 23 May 2024, 18:39, archived)
It partly comes from my unease about this particular user, someone who actually claims to have a track record of unwanted personal interactions.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 19:27, archived)
Also because the fucking stupid fucking cunt actually answered.
+ if he's a real doctor, I'm an astronaut.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 19:43, archived)
haha yeah because doctors are immune from being credulous fuckwits

(piss and shit, Thu 23 May 2024, 22:50, archived)
you're starting to sound like the sort of person who doesn't regularly stand outside and applaud the nhs

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 May 2024, 0:27, archived)
hot canada shitpipe morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 6:50, archived)
anyone talkin bout
pop music?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 6:51, archived)
new york, london, paris, munich, runcorn

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 12:59, archived)
Everybody's talking about top mumporn

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:07, archived)
It is that
If you formed a political party, what would it be called and what would be the main manifesto point?
Alt, which /talk member should be PM, and why?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 7:59, archived)
arseboon dilbaro

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 May 2024, 8:10, archived)
I expected more of you xxxx

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 8:19, archived)
I don't know why
arseboon for pm. Arseboon for Queen
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 May 2024, 10:36, archived)
It doesn't really matter, we're all the same person.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 8:25, archived)
Am I you then ?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 8:52, archived)
We're all baldmonkey.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 23 May 2024, 9:06, archived)
'Takes notes'

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 9:14, archived)
Oh shit

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 10:15, archived)
Which one was he?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 10:49, archived)
Amorous badger, I think

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 23 May 2024, 10:56, archived)
I know I am

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 May 2024, 10:35, archived)
I'd probably do some focus groups to see what the most popular name was, and call it that
Same with policies, just go with the most popular choice on every issue, do exactly what the majority want.
It would be a total, unmitigated disaster.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 13:52, archived)
That's the sort of morning I can get behind

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 May 2024, 8:10, archived)
Behind lol

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 23 May 2024, 8:18, archived)
MY MOODS LIVE ON THAT SWANG SAME
PUSH ME, PUSH ME, PUSH ME HARDER
SWANG INTO TOMORROW
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fjx30aIRr4
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 12:12, archived)
Thunder storm here, I've got the back door open
The thunder is merging with this
It's ominously dark outside.
Fucking hell, serious rain now, might build an ark.
My meteorological blog brings all the meteorologists to the meteorological equipment station. I could teach you, but I'd have to be a meteorologist.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:08, archived) 


▄██████████████▄▐█▄▄▄▄█▌
██████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌███▌▀▀██▀▀
████▄█▌▄▌▄▐▐▌▀███▄▄█▌
▄▄▄▄▄██████████████▀


(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 23 May 2024, 3:44, archived)

i.imgur.com/8NQ8S1c.png
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 23 May 2024, 6:57, archived)
General election called for July.
Starmer is a chocolate teapot, obviously, but it will be fun seeing the Tories get annihilated.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 18:07, archived)
The sun's out, and so are the Tories!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:11, archived)
i'm voting conserative because i like jam

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:21, archived)
-am
+izz
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 18:21, archived)
So does Comrade Corbyn, though.
Makes you think, huh?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 18:24, archived)
What's up doc?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 18:25, archived)
i'll think when i'm dead

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 20:01, archived)
Probably at least as well as you do now, I'd have thought.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 21:55, archived)
you'll think when you're dead

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 22:04, archived)
I'm just a pair of tits but please don't vote tory
Let someone else fuck the cuntry up for a while
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 18:21, archived)
Britain First, great idea knockers
It's Time For Change (and No Darkies)
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:25, archived)
LOL
norkies
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 18:26, archived)
you would say that

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:26, archived)
Sed nuffin bruv

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 18:27, archived)
I'm having an election as I type this

brb etc
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:24, archived)
Oh you're hard

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 18:24, archived)
#BoysShowers

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:25, archived)
^tory cunt queef^

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 18:26, archived)
I think my father may have taught Sunak chemistry
I Am Just Saying
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:35, archived)
he should have taught him how to run a country

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 20:26, archived)
^ satire

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 21:59, archived)
Penny Mordaunt y/y

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:34, archived)
^penis moribund y/y

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:36, archived)
Maybe, but I'd be thinking of Michelle Mone.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 19:15, archived)
Wouldn't we all

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 19:18, archived)
+y shot

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 22 May 2024, 19:37, archived)
Time to evict old Itchy Nutsack

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:36, archived)
Yay let's go back to square 1 with Labour!

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 22 May 2024, 19:11, archived)
Tories have "broken Britain", while Labour would bring "Starmergeddon" and only Reform could "save Britain"
We're ready, says Reform leader Richard Tice.
I've not been aware of this person before, there's something a bit Cliff Richard about him
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 22 May 2024, 19:45, archived)

“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”
― George Orwell, Animal Farm
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 22 May 2024, 20:24, archived)
There's a new superhero in town... Pigtoman!
and his sidekick...
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 20:29, archived)
Your mother's mank

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 22 May 2024, 21:17, archived)
I will personally get more enjoyment from seeing the SNP (probably?) implode.
But only just.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 22 May 2024, 21:59, archived)
England needs the SNP to collapse to save itself from the tories
and I suspect there's a fairly interesting set of circumstances that led to their downfall. They managed to inflict some damage on themselves, of course, but I think there's been some traditional British institutional conspiracy shit going on too.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 22 May 2024, 22:10, archived)
You don't need to 'suspect'.
It's all out there and has been widely reported for years. Half of Scotland has never voted for them, and at least a third of the rest only voted for them as the best chance for FREEDOM!!! Now they've shackled themselves to progressive causes with the Scottish Greens, the racist indy headbangers will vote Alba instead.

And there are a lot of racist indy headbangers, despite the SNP spending years gaslighting everyone to the contrary.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 22 May 2024, 22:29, archived)
No it doesn't, not by a long shot.
Only about 10% of the MPs in the HoC represent Scottish constituencies, remember, and Labour are consistently polling a popular vote lead north of 20%. Blair annihilated them in 1997 with a mere 12.5% lead. So even if the SNP got nearly all the seats in Scotland like they did in 2015, Labour would still be looking at a very comfortable majority.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 22:35, archived)
We'll need them to save England from Brexit then.
But I am unconvinced that Labour doesn't need Scotland to win a FPTP GE. What has changed since the last three elections to change that?
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 23 May 2024, 14:38, archived)
hola smeg-lord's

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 15:08, archived)
HOT CANADA SHITPIPE ACTION

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 May 2024, 15:20, archived)
Everyone loves a bit of eh?nal now and then.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 15:22, archived)
A sphincter says what

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 May 2024, 15:29, archived)
It's my life goal to get sphincter on a double triple word score in scrabble
^stupid fucking stupid cunt^
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 15:45, archived)
I wish you the best of luck in your question, unpronounceable boobs person.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 15:53, archived)
I like boobs
Do you like boobs?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 16:00, archived)
They're OK I guess.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 16:17, archived)
Not moobs obvs

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 16:25, archived)
Finally someone appreciates me
☺️
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 17:34, archived)
I am the lord of the Smeg said heh

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 22 May 2024, 15:41, archived)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 16:52, archived)
smeggy smeg smeg

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 16:54, archived)
GUNTSME'G

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:09, archived)
I just can't get you out of my SMEG

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:16, archived)
Ain't Too Proud To SMEG

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:26, archived)
you are the smeggiest smegger in all of Smegginton.
or some shit
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:16, archived)
Haha, I have a plan smeggier than the Lord Mayor of Smegginton smegging some smeggy smeg on the top of Mount Smeg!!!
Haha, man, Ben Elton is so good eh, how does he do it

and when I say good I of course mean smeg
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:28, archived)
He redefined man's approach to comedy

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:41, archived)
He showed us all the way to Suckham

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:59, archived)
disgusting

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 22 May 2024, 18:08, archived)
Hello

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:26, archived)
hi m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 17:34, archived)
arseNOON dilbaro

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 12:11, archived)
u r a card lmao

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 12:43, archived)
Aftenoon Dilbaro
Shelley?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 13:56, archived)
afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 13:57, archived)
dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Wed 22 May 2024, 14:22, archived)
Not you.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 14:26, archived)
Morning comrades
How ist?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 7:10, archived)
ist gud

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 7:19, archived)
Arbeitet macht frei

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 7:34, archived)
That's Austrian for "BIG FAT HAIRY BOLLOCKS"

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:30, archived)
Joni Mitchellzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:41, archived)
ZZ Top

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:49, archived)
U r a cunning linguist

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:48, archived)
SPUNKSOCK

(sticklebricks, Wed 22 May 2024, 7:20, archived)
Let it dry out then use a hammer on it
#mumsnet
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 7:35, archived)
Bit chilly and rather wet

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 22 May 2024, 7:34, archived)
Yeah same here

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 7:36, archived)
I quite like it
Gives me a break from hayfever
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:02, archived)
I get awful hay fever
It's grin and bear it nothing works
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:17, archived)
Rapeseed flowers absolutely floor me
I'm glad there's none growing round here
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:37, archived)
It's actually short for "noserapeseed."

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 9:05, archived)
LOL
seed
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 15:46, archived)
Good morning Doc

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:26, archived)
Morning Bou

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:49, archived)
Wet
I got quite damp on my cycle ride into the office. I'm going to warm up with a cup of coffee.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:35, archived)
And a nice bikkie obvs

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:50, archived)
Chocolate hobnobs or GTFO

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 22 May 2024, 9:00, archived)
I'm covering an event
there were corporate mini danish pastries. The cinamon swirls were quite good.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 22 May 2024, 11:08, archived)
The maple pecan ones are very nice
But a Costco apricot danish is the best
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 22 May 2024, 12:41, archived)
Oh I love nommy bikkies!
Especially with a nommy sammich.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 10:08, archived)
esp if it's nommy bayconz!!!
SQUEEE!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 22 May 2024, 10:11, archived)
I think the only course of action for both of us after this is a mutual suicide pact.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 22 May 2024, 15:05, archived)
Totes lolz balls 111!!!!!

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 22 May 2024, 15:48, archived)
Hi

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:35, archived)
Alright

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:51, archived)
might put some salt and vinegar crisps up my bum

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 22 May 2024, 9:22, archived)
Best place for them

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 May 2024, 9:37, archived)
We have a practice meeting every Wed 4 hours of pointless shit
Practice manager bitchtits is ill we can't do appointments so just fucking about online and watching crap telly
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 22 May 2024, 8:57, archived)
todays song is this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCpvnfcTmbA

if you don't like todays song you might like tomorrow's today's song
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 21:32, archived)

youtu.be/U-QjwbKT8YQ?si=U2kyGA0cftEbXmuI
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 May 2024, 21:38, archived)
i like tha

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 22:00, archived)
Kurtis did no shit

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 May 2024, 22:12, archived)
Anything by Disturbed?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 21 May 2024, 21:55, archived)
Geoffrey Kitchen Sunk

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 21 May 2024, 23:09, archived)
saw an upholstery van today
The business was called 'touching cloth'

Mitchell and webb vibes
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 17:20, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 21 May 2024, 17:24, archived)
alrite mr h

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 17:24, archived)
fuck off then

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 21:37, archived)
Hahaha, how random!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 21 May 2024, 17:46, archived)
it's always morning somewhere

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 17:51, archived)
Turtle power!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 21 May 2024, 17:57, archived) 


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(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 21 May 2024, 18:10, archived)
jesus christ!
I bought some new binooculooos
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 18:13, archived)
Are we the baddies?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 21 May 2024, 17:37, archived)
I'm afraid so

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 17:43, archived)
That was the name on a truck that was cleaning out porta-loos that I saw once.
What a funny story.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 21 May 2024, 18:44, archived)
have you accidentally clicked on an old bookmark?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:27, archived)
I did that once and it turned to dust

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:27, archived)
alrite, tutankhamun

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:31, archived)
Alright Jack didlyack

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:44, archived)
don't talk back

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 20:36, archived)
There is a car wash where I used to live
'The best hand job in Manchester'
Like a wank lol
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:02, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:27, archived)
I used to live near one in London that made a similar claim.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 21 May 2024, 22:34, archived)
It's an impressive feat but a hell of a commute

(piss and shit, Wed 22 May 2024, 10:54, archived)
There's a butcher near somewhere I used to work
whose van says "we sell sausages and" above the number plate, M1 NCE.

His car has M2 NCE, because he's a fucking stupid fucking cunt.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:05, archived)
N0 NCE

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:27, archived)
alright Spanishfly's 2CV

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:39, archived)
alrite

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 21 May 2024, 20:37, archived)
MINC3

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:36, archived)
Do you have a license plate for that +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:38, archived)
is that your Ayrshire bacon?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:39, archived)
No it's his Dundee rump

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:59, archived)
Our old next door neighbours had personalised numberplates.
They were terrible in every other way too.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:45, archived)
Tory-voting Jewish farmers?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 21 May 2024, 19:59, archived)
+ french

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 21 May 2024, 20:02, archived)
Personalised plate owners, people who inform you about their tv size
And Gregg Wallace
Awful
Oh and DBT
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 21 May 2024, 20:04, archived)

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