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What happens if you dial 666?
An Australian policeman arrives.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 14:17, archived)
afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:24, archived)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 14:13, archived)
puckered arsehole

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:03, archived)
#chodequeen

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 16:07, archived)
TOASTCHODE

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:06, archived)
Tainted Loaf

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:06, archived)
CHODE on a Grecian Urn

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:08, archived)
The long and winding CHODE

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:07, archived)
the Da Vinci CHODE

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:08, archived)
Depeche CHODE

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:09, archived)
I'm sorry you've written a chode

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:19, archived)
What a CHODE of old BOLLOCKS

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:31, archived)
TopCHODEr

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:10, archived)
lymph CHODE

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 15:10, archived)
CHODE of CHODE Hall

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 16:07, archived)
CHODEbreakers

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 16:18, archived)
Giorgio MorCHODEr

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 16:19, archived)
morning. just reaslised my toaster slots are wider than they are deep
so if i turn the bread 90 degrees i don't have a band of untoasted toast.

more news at 11.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 6:32, archived)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 6:42, archived)
fuck you!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 6:44, archived)
i've only been using it for years
i'm a fucking genius
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 6:44, archived)
They are all like that...

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 11:58, archived)
crusty jugglers

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 17:59, archived)
Waking up on a Wednesday with a hangover
- cause I drank a bottle of red wine last night, to try to blot out the anger from being harassed about my autism by some idiot at work during the actual anti-harassment training session.
This is not the best way to start the meeting with HR.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 6:46, archived)
fuck me that is so messed up it sounds like the script of a farce
workplace nobs are everywhere i've met loads.

in other news i haven't beer of the cocked myself for nearly 5 weeks
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 7:19, archived)
It's not great
Coffee and paracetamol, and I may be able to face the day and live.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 7:48, archived)
Blur's first draft etc

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 9:10, archived)
LOL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 7:47, archived)
Tell HR
That, if you can be harassed during anti- harassment training, then there is obviously a bigger problem than they think. If they don't put a stop to it, you will have to bring your lawyer into it, because this hostility in the workplace is unacceptable.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 9:04, archived)
Are you in a union? If not, join ASAP
they may or may not be able to to help but they proper put the shit up a company. I've turned many a meeting around with "I think that's something my union ought to be consulted on."
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 9:37, archived)
Unions can't help with anything that's happened prior to joining

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 10:00, archived)
No
but even saying "I will need to discuss this with my union rep" will pucker assholes.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 10:46, archived)
The union rep at my work is a puckered asshole.
Nasty manipulative bully who abuses her position to intimidate other people. Absolute cunt.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 12:33, archived)
What's her b3ta username?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:11, archived)
garold

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:14, archived)
Yep
Nothing makes their arseholes pucker like the words "I think I should discuss this with my union rep"
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 10:18, archived)
No union recognition at my workplace
- ironic, given that we refuse to use suppliers who refuse to recognise unions.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 11:32, archived)
Make sure to take a big shit on the HR Manager’s desk to assert dominance

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 10:12, archived)
maintain eye contact, worth mentioning, it's a lot to remember

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 11:48, archived)
*updates LinkedIn status*

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 12:28, archived)
a lot of employers don't fully understand the implications of the Equality Act 2010.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 11:03, archived)
Bizarrely, I just had a fucking excellent PDR with my boss
Also got good advice on what we'll do with Harassment Man, the shit new super villain from the MCU.

I can't believe today was a real day.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 11:35, archived)
Ice Cubezzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 12:34, archived)
Was the harassment them pointing out your diagnosis was written in crayons by you?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 12:43, archived)
The colours were very neatly arranged, though.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:11, archived)
I demand to see b3ta HR!

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:39, archived)
You can write with Crayons?
amazing. I thought they were just for eating.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:43, archived)
And thus began the legend of TOASTCHODE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 7:46, archived)
TOASTHOUSE

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 7:52, archived)
I just don't think TOASTHOUSE is your forte.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 8:13, archived)
I'd rather see a ghost

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 8:37, archived)
Live, laugh, toaster bath

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:50, archived)
I just found a pair of plastic buttocks in my luggage.
My suitcase has a false bottom in it!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 Feb 2025, 11:33, archived)
told my wife she should embrace her mistakes
so she gave me a hug
(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 12:12, archived)
It’s past 11 and you said there’d be more news
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 12:53, archived)
sorry nothing has happened today, anywhere.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 17:39, archived)
Your nan's slots are wider than they are deep
so I turned her by 90 degrees and split-toasted her. Or something. I dunno
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 13:15, archived)
Rick Corpsler

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:31, archived)
not my best work

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:37, archived)
I was going to say, had to look at BBC news to work out who it was and I couldn't have named the cunt beforehand

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:39, archived)
Down in the morgue at midnight
Nah, I've got fuck all
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:42, archived)
Going Underground
FFS it was staring me in the face
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:46, archived)
PALL WORSER

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:52, archived)
Paul Weller appeared on a charity single with Hexachordal, if I remember rightly.
I'm sure it was in a newsletter.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:54, archived)
Paul Bearer surely

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 22:58, archived)
Funeral Pyre?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 2:04, archived)
'A' Bomb In Wardead Street

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 2:05, archived)
That's Deatertaniment

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 9:38, archived)
That's interrment

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 11:08, archived)
RIP Buckler

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 19 Feb 2025, 2:01, archived)
you know you're getting old when you do yourself a pain
and the pain keeps paining until, well, probably until i fucking die.

fuck me my back is agony
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:31, archived)
sorry to thread stomp, smegg

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:32, archived)
Back pain is well shit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:33, archived)
fucking right it is

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:49, archived)
Hope you don't become paralysed.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 19:09, archived)
thanks m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 19:16, archived)
Lie down with a hot water bottle on your back
And take a couple of ibuprofen
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:38, archived)
honestly when i lie down it's fine for a while then i wake up a few hours later and it's agony
even rolling over is a nightmare. moving around at work is less bad, mind you i am taking ibuprofen and paramol black (paracetamol and dihydrocodiene) which is pretty good at nobbing pain away. but i'm also taking them at night my back seems to sieze up or some shit. might have to go see a back sack and crack person
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:49, archived)
What is the best way to boil rice and keep it from sticking together?
Boil each grain separately!
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 16:05, archived)
I'm not quite sure i give a fuck

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 16:23, archived)
. . . tell a joke! It'll cheer you up and make everyone forget their worries. Here are some jokes to tell:
Why did the poor dog chase his tail?
To make both ends meet.

What do you call mad fleas?
Loony ticks.

DOCTOR: Diet!
PATIENT: What colour?
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:32, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:44, archived)
Do you know the story of the empty tea-cup?
There's nothing in it!
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 19:00, archived)
Spoonful of olive oil in the water

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 16:53, archived)
fire in the skies

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 19:09, archived)
afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 13:18, archived)
sympathy noon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 15:29, archived)
cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 16:09, archived)
textbook 'Smegg Wallace' thread

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 17:28, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 17:28, archived)
alrite wallace

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 17:30, archived)
Alright literally hitler

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 17:40, archived)
no real Hitler's, please

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:19, archived)
Morning
anyone know why my cat is stoned?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (โ€ฏอœโ‚’ ใ……โ€ฏอœ โ‚’), Tue 18 Feb 2025, 6:46, archived)
you live in a rough area?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 7:02, archived)
Morning
And no, Iโ€™ve no idea
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 7:14, archived)
hmmm...
suspicious
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 7:22, archived)
Maybe you're confusing your life with the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fabulous_Furry_Freak_Brothers
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 8:54, archived)
you calling me fat

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 17:31, archived)
he's not not calling you fat

(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 19:22, archived)
are you?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 19:27, archived)

I squirted a load of ketchup in my eyes and now my eyesight is a lot better. It's the benefit of Heinz-sight.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 7:28, archived)
Have you stolen brb’s joke book?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 7:46, archived)
All his jokes are really racist.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 8:00, archived)
Catnip addiction?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 7:43, archived)
Crept into a stoner's house
And got high eating their stash?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 8:16, archived)
Gaz mongychops
He knows about this sort of thing
(Smug Bastard LOL, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 8:56, archived)
It's menopause awareness training day today.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 9:09, archived)
Tell them you're having a hot flush

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 12:17, archived)
People who use 'upmost' when they mean 'utmost' should be rounded up and drowned.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 Feb 2025, 11:49, archived)
Do you have any pacific examples?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 12:09, archived)
I could not care less

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 12:19, archived)
Upmost girl
She's been living in her utmost world
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 12:52, archived)
Upmost Funk

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 13:00, archived)
Be runnin' upmost road
Be runnin' upmost hill
Be runnin' upmost building
Say, if I only could, oh
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 14:30, archived)
It took the Lord's name in vain.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 12:32, archived)
Jesus christ, that's bad

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 13:53, archived)
b3ta, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 15:35, archived)
Next doors cat just came running to meet my weed dealer. Heard a crinkly bag and assumed it was cat snacks. He's lucky I like cats as he is taking the piss
I've never owned a dog. I'd like too but I don't have the time commitment. Kids were bad enough
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 21:21, archived)
I don't have pets, it's weird. like slavery or saink
my partner has two cats, they're cute and stuff, but fuck doing cat litter trays and having fucking hair everywhere
(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 21:49, archived)
I don't have a pet. I have a refugee

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 21:55, archived)
I had a cat. He was a badass brawler from the streets but he took to me.
He moved in and now he lives with my ex, who he never liked as much.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 22:29, archived)
alright dr doolittle

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 23:18, archived)
What did the hamburger say to the ketchup?
I've had enough of your sauce!
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 17:45, archived)
What did the estuary say to the headwaters?

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 18:05, archived)
Why do giraffes have long necks?
To connect their heads to their bodies.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 18:48, archived)
I saw Griff Rhys Jones again

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 19:10, archived)
what lens are you using?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 19:16, archived)
Did you hear the joke about the Shredded Wheat and the Corn-Flakes that had a fight?
I can't tell you how it finished because it's a serial!
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 22:23, archived)
afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 16:39, archived)
alrite smegg

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 16:52, archived)
Hitler.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 16:55, archived)
Smeggler

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 17:02, archived)
Hi cunt's
I'm being sent all over town today to get my travel jabs. As such I'm down by the Houses of Parliament waiting for an appointment. I have just been arseraped for ยฃ7.80 for a pint of Asahi. Jesus christ
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 12:57, archived)
no-one cares, m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 12:57, archived)
You didn't have to buy a pint tho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 13:13, archived)
Yeah I did

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 13:16, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 13:41, archived)
I'm in Madrid, m8
Just walked past Griff Rhys Jones. No biggie.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 13:43, archived)
woah

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 13:58, archived)
-for £7.80 for a pint of Asahi +by Jacob Rees-Mogg

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 13:55, archived)
Go to a Weatherspoons then

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 14:04, archived)
none near here

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 14:09, archived)
fuck that massive headed wanker

(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 21:50, archived)
Queef I mean

(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 21:50, archived)
#LondonLols

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 14:26, archived)
I caved in and paid for Claude.ai for a month, I am now officially paying to have a computer imitate conversations with me.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 14:49, archived)
#lonely

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 14:51, archived)
not great at coding either, it's a win/win

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 14:52, archived)
There are no win/winners on b3ta mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 15:57, archived)
Funny, me and Claude were just talking about that.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 16:07, archived)
prick

(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 21:50, archived)
fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Tue 18 Feb 2025, 18:04, archived)
That's a bit pricey
Just got back from the hospital, follow up doppler scan on my leg.
Verdict: stable, keep taking the tablets.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 15:32, archived)
They said you're stable?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 15:34, archived)
No that's where they put her, wards and corridors were full

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 15:36, archived)
No, my leg is

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 15:45, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 6:52, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 7:10, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 8:02, archived)
Fuck you, Smegg Wallace, fuck you

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 8:46, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 7:26, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 8:02, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 7:38, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 8:02, archived)
Ugh

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 8:18, archived)
Hi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 8:31, archived)
It's sunny!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 8:53, archived)
Not here* it isn’t

*overcast northern provinces
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 9:24, archived)
It's almost tropical here!*
* like a can of Lilt from the fridge...
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 9:45, archived)
Recoil on the speakers here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 10:30, archived)
Someone at work has Radio 2 on his phone,
just heard Natasha Bedingfield doing Champagne Supernova with the BBC Symphony Orchestra and it's honestly one of the worst things I've ever heard in my life.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 12:08, archived)
hahaha! excellent
I mean, presumably there were meetings about it, and at no point did anyone say
'hang on, what the fuck are we thinking?!'
(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 12:17, archived)
at least we now know what a decision-making process fuelled by equal amounts of cocaine and ketamine results in.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 12:20, archived)
The Trump presidency, I mean.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 12:22, archived)
I looked it up and you need a bbc sounds account to hear it
so that saved me aural distress
(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 21:52, archived)
She's fit tho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 Feb 2025, 12:54, archived)
no m8

(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 13:55, archived)
After the original or anything else by those thundercunts.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 14:36, archived)
Wolfbagging, y/n?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 16 Feb 2025, 17:11, archived)
No
And why the fuck did I Google that?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 17:48, archived)
Because of curiosity.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 16 Feb 2025, 17:52, archived)
thank you for letting me know not to

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 18:09, archived)
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:14, archived)
Once.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 17:59, archived)
clearly bullshit

(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 18:13, archived)
No thanks, I'm vegetarian

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 18:14, archived)
VEGETARIAN
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Swedes.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:08, archived)
I'm pescetarian so I'd be the botter rather than the bottee.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 18:19, archived)
-pescatarian +a big twat
-so I'd be the botter rather than the bottee.
(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 22:29, archived)
a sex+
ce arian
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 17 Feb 2025, 9:14, archived)
3PPB

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (โ€ฏอœโ‚’ ใ……โ€ฏอœ โ‚’), Sun 16 Feb 2025, 18:31, archived)
Preferred their 2nd album

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 18:33, archived)
What do punks learn at school?
Punktuation.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:41, archived)

l r
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 18:38, archived)
How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
A right ear, a left ear, and a final frontier!
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:40, archived)
Not since the accident.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:09, archived)
If you are asking then you're too woke

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:35, archived)
So Wolfhard right now

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:36, archived)
n, dead men don't gag

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:52, archived)
afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:10, archived)
interesting. thank you

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:27, archived)
thank you for stomping that 1928 jokes thread

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:31, archived)
Nearly half seven

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:46, archived)
Couldnae see it.
brb and smash both have me on 2.0. Their choice to opt out of BEETER GOLD but whitkinyedae?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 17:37, archived)
You've got to be *seriously* annoying to get 2.0'd by Smash
but this is you we're talking about, so I guess it's par for the course.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 19:53, archived)
I'm not responsible for the actions of other people m8.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 22:52, archived)
ACCIDENT
A lorry carrying treacle has collided with a car on the M6. Police are advising motorists to stick to their lanes.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 13:35, archived)
They won't have any choice

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 13:53, archived)
ASTRONAUT
Why are astronauts successful people?
Because they always go up in the world.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:01, archived)
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
He had to work it out with a pencil
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:06, archived)
TEACHER: Give me the formula for water.
PUPIL: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
TEACHER: That's not right! Why do you say that?
PUPIL: Well, yesterday you told us it was H to O.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:35, archived)
In daring raid, thieves made off with all of the toilets from a local constabulary
After an investigation, police say they have nothing to go on
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:04, archived)
TRAFFIC WARDENS
What do traffic wardens have in their sandwiches?
Traffic jam.
(I helped save b3ta! brb natural fistic, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 14:38, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 9:16, archived)
Hi

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 9:34, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 16 Feb 2025, 9:52, archived)
Morning
Sunday again
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 10:03, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 10:11, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1uojJl7_Rw&ab_channel=Klaatu-Topic
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 10:16, archived)
Whoever wrote that must have been fond of psychedelics

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 10:26, archived)

m.youtube.com/watch?v=tciT9bmCMq8
(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 13:29, archived)
DPD eh?
wankers
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 21:49, archived)
alright dpd

(pick n mix link in bio โค๏ธ๐ŸŒŸโค๏ธ, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 22:22, archived)
alrite

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 22:49, archived)
We use them for a lot of dispatches at work.
They're generally quite good, but when things go wrong they go really wrong.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 22:35, archived)
A bunch of prime knobcheeses, and no mistake.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 15 Feb 2025, 23:14, archived)
talking of prime knobcheeses
i'm not even half way through this video about stupid megaprojects and it's had me laughing so many times. dead pan delivery some of this guy's vids are class. best finance channel hands down.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 0:21, archived)

D B
s
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 9:45, archived)
You said it. We were all thinking it.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 16 Feb 2025, 17:55, archived)
Droopy Penus Disorder?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 12:45, archived)
Hi pillock's

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 16:55, archived)
Evening Queef you sexy bar steward
I'm going to see Bridget Jones. DON'T JUDGE ME.
(Planearm, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:01, archived)
Becoming Led Zeppelin is top notch

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:22, archived)
I want to see that, but the cinema in town isn't showing it
/blog
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:42, archived)
Does it address their paedo groupie abuse
- at all?

I mean, I love the music, but there's some shit bagage that comes alongside those mega 70s bands.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 22:34, archived)
The mistake that Glitter, King and the like made
was to continue to be unapologetic paedos into the 90s and beyond. Zep, Bowie, Peel and the rest had the sense to stop talking about/fucking children.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 22:38, archived)
He doesn't need to
I am
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 19:03, archived)
Got my new shoes. I like them

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:01, archived)
Suede was so 1980's

(Planearm, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:02, archived)
still life

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:03, archived)
I got black leather
imgur.com/a/hi0stNh
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:03, archived)
you absolute fanny magnet

(Planearm, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:05, archived)
Nice
Super comfortable aren't they
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:22, archived)
Yeah. Not had a pair for 25 years I think

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 18:43, archived)
didn't know you were into that sort of thing

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 18:00, archived)
uncomplicated

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 21:26, archived)
don't step on his new clark's shoes

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:03, archived)
Uh huh huhhhh

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:32, archived)
LOL
hoes
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (โ€ฏอœโ‚’ ใ……โ€ฏอœ โ‚’), Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:35, archived)
Oooo arrrrr

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 17:32, archived)
alright Gina G

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 18:18, archived)
Originally written for the Worzels
So I'm told
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sat 15 Feb 2025, 21:05, archived)
-t

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 16 Feb 2025, 0:02, archived)

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