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Hmmm.....
I'm going to Florida on thursday...

/watches the Tornado evacuation on the news....
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:33, archived)
take an
anticyclone?
*groans*
(I helped save b3ta! cheesebread at the third stroke, hammertime will be, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:36, archived)
Wear a helmet and you'll be fine.

(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:36, archived)
I keep my helmet polished and ready at all times

You never know when it will be needed.
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:40, archived)
I'm polishing
my helmet as I type this.
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:51, archived)
try not to hang glide

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:37, archived)
fuck my boyfriend is in florida =(
which bit was hit?!
(I helped save b3ta! MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:41, archived)
his face

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:43, archived)
hush it you!
i cant contact him, so meh.. i wanna knoooow
(I helped save b3ta! MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:44, archived)

news.bbc.co.uk - first story under the main one, last time I looked.
Hope he's okay.
(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:47, archived)
he's in orlando
should be safe =)
(I helped save b3ta! MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:50, archived)
arf!

(I helped save b3ta! Grundlebiscuit, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:56, archived)
his penis

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:44, archived)
His arsehole
so you'll only be taking, not giving, from now on.
(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:45, archived)
ANOTHER
gay?

That's 2 now, this place is becoming over run
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:57, archived)
does anyone understand
"speedos"?
I mean, why?

I have purchaced some bollock crushers to wear under a wetsuit when diving, and am coming to terms with having to introduce three times as much when I meet people.
(I helped save b3ta! cheesebread at the third stroke, hammertime will be, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:28, archived)
they're sexy
on the right person =)
(I helped save b3ta! MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:42, archived)
That'll be me then
*sucks in paunch*
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:50, archived)
I was recently
offended by the wetsuit guy saying I've a size one chest and a size four waist and that he'd have to alter one because they didn't make anything for "fat bastards". It's all muscle you know!
(I helped save b3ta! cheesebread at the third stroke, hammertime will be, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:57, archived)
and on
the wrong person? :p
(I helped save b3ta! cheesebread at the third stroke, hammertime will be, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:51, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/629130
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 1:05, archived)
Did anyone else hear
that the pope died???

:0

edit/ and John Peel!
(I helped save b3ta! diffy maybs, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:10, archived)
which one?

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:11, archived)
The
Spacepope
(mailinator, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:14, archived)
and superman
john peel and richard whitely too
(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:11, archived)
richard whitely???

Shirley not???

Then again, someone said that about the Queen Mother...
(I helped save b3ta! diffy maybs, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:12, archived)
*cries*

(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:13, archived)
What, again?
Tell him to fucking stop it.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:11, archived)
pfft

(Withiel assumes the position!, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:13, archived)
That stopped being funny approximately four seconds after it started.

(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:14, archived)
^this
*cuddles*
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:14, archived)
funny?

how dare you suggest it's funny?
(I helped save b3ta! diffy maybs, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:16, archived)
^
yes
(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:41, archived)
i think its hillarious
but then again i am a compulsive non-conformist
(I helped save b3ta! Grundlebiscuit, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 1:01, archived)
I'm going to bed.
anyone want to come and tuck me in and read me a bedtime story?
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:09, archived)
*puts hand up*

(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:10, archived)
No, just a bedtime story.

(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:44, archived)
Har har !

(SquidHead, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:53, archived)
your husband?

just a wild stab in the dark.
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:10, archived)
he's crap at reading bedtime stories
and he's working anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:11, archived)
will there be oral sex and spanking afterwards?

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:13, archived)
How can you say that

and own "It's orrible being in love when your 8 and a half"?
(I helped save b3ta! diffy maybs, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:14, archived)
I think the two go hand in hand

/terrible Gary Glitter moment
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:16, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! diffy maybs, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:17, archived)
Thank goodness Mykey is here
being more depraved than me
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:19, archived)
and I'm not being depraved at all
because I'm a good girl today
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:20, archived)
when he finishes working?
I bloody hope so, Saturday night is Sex Night
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:14, archived)
I'll read you

war and peace but that's it.
(I helped save b3ta! diffy maybs, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:11, archived)
Please
Will there be filth?
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:11, archived)
of course not
otherwise I would have asked for filth
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:12, archived)
Can i pretend i didnt mean to have filth
but persuade you into it later?
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:13, archived)
you'd better
choose the bedtime story carefully then
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:15, archived)
snow white and the seven fistings?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:18, archived)
a story about
seven little men with hands like Fenris?
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:19, archived)
Dont be insane!
His hands must be fairytales, nothing can be that small and girlish
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:21, archived)
small hands on a girl

essential

Makes my dick look bigger
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:23, archived)
meh
bad post in conjunction with mine
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:24, archived)
timing

story of my life
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:26, archived)
his hands are big
ger than the ratbag's
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:23, archived)
Barely

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:24, archived)
VOLUME I:
I'm listening to 6 Music, I think this makes me an old man.
I shall explain the reasoning because I know you all just love to hear all about my AV exploits. I listened to the weekender on Xfm until 9, when the 'all city hip hop show' came on. SO I watched finding nemo, then I sat in silence and felt sad for a while, then I put the radio on again, and the hip hop crap was still on, and the arrow is playing poncy music. And THAT my friends is how I am listening to 6 Music. I will be auctioning the film rights to this epic tale at the Best Western Heronston hotel at 6PM on Thursday night. The guest speaker will be Mike Cowan, former Yorkshire fast bowler, who will talk about his upbringing in a Yorkshire pit town.

VOLUME II:
I have just questioned my old manedness once more, as when the wireless announcer said that the next song was one of the best driving songs ever, I immediately knew that it was 'Radar Of Love'. Worrying times indeed.

VOLUME III:
I switched away from 6 Music because there was what I could only describe as 'a black' singing. On my arrival at The Arrow, they were playing The Jam's 'Going Underground'. Naughty peoples.
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:51, archived)
Gosh

It's all go in your life
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:52, archived)
yep,
I'm surprised no one has asked me to do a truman show-esque programme yet.
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:54, archived)
Would you do a truman show-esque programme?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:55, archived)
If the price was
right.
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:57, archived)
Tenner and a chicken balti?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:58, archived)
you know some pricey women.

Better than I manage on a Saturday night
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:00, archived)
I say homeless women are a much maligned source of hookery

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:01, archived)
*signs on the dotted line*
Wait... how come I've never heard of this TV channel before?
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:02, archived)
TEABAGGIN TV is a well known brand!

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:05, archived)
I'm not reading that, you cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:55, archived)
My musical views
are at reidus.blogspot.com

And I review obscure indie. So love me.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:12, archived)
weird
can someone explain this to me please?

www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=1

someone has been abusing their mod powers, i suspect.
(Brad Dice, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:40, archived)
i think you explained it pretty well yourself
edit: although whether it's abuse is doubtful.
(I helped save b3ta! asparagus time Is in Brazil., Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:42, archived)
this ^

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:42, archived)
we had this yesterday
there's at least one other with that login time. some hiccup loses the timer so it defaults to 1970
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:43, archived)
1980 was the vintage
All others are too young or too old

FACT
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:44, archived)
Oi
shut it whippersnapper :P
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:46, archived)
30 is close for you;)

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:50, archived)
Are you trying to tell us you are 25 years old?

Your pictures do not do you justice, sir.
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:48, archived)
24
You old cunt:)
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:54, archived)
There you are. Proof.
You don't look a day over 324
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:56, archived)
And yet im the one with a 21 yr old laaaaady;)
*dances*

And shes preeeeeety:)
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:57, archived)
OK you win
My lady is 27 and has the peachiest arse and longest legs I ever had the pleasure of sitting on my face.
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:02, archived)
I think you'll find that mine is utterly loveable
And a joy to be with...but i mean if you judge your lady by her physical nature.....well...;)
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:04, archived)
oh, no no no.
Not just her physical nature.

Also by her friends physical nature that she brings home to share with me.

edit/ I really should get into the habit of including these smiley things :)
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:06, archived)
*fwaps*

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:09, archived)
I don't look a day
over 18
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:57, archived)
I'd do ya

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 0:00, archived)
AHAHAHAH.
You had to endure ten years of shit before I was born and brought the world sunshine and happiness.
(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:50, archived)
*worships*

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:51, archived)
Thou Shalt Not Worship False Idols.

(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:53, archived)
thanks for that
now i can sleep

night all
(Brad Dice, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:47, archived)
There is a good explanation
But i truly havent the energy

/Being bummed by Fenris
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:43, archived)
I'm still sore down there
cut myself shaving earlier :(

Teach me to leave it so long...
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:45, archived)
wax instead

(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:46, archived)
God no
I had my back waxed which is tolerable (and tbf not that hairy) but I draw the line at having my scrote waxed!
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:48, archived)
understandable
I got a free sample of that Veet stuff (the wax virgin ads) and tried doing my legs - it was a bit painful but the worst bit was it left about 30% of the hairs there. pointless
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:52, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:46, archived)
You love my boyish sleakness

(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:51, archived)
Pffftt!
You half gayer!:)
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:54, archived)
Since no one is typing, and i am having a break
from drinking working I will write an essay.

In the news. Birmingham. Saturday night. The 3 people that did venture into the centre of Birmingham have been told to go home. Nothing else happened.

Years ago, before most of you were born, Dire Straits were performing at Birmingham NEC and invited me up for the concert and the after show party etc.

I rang up Amex concierge service to book a flight and hotel for the one Saturday night. The Amex girls words I have never forgotten.
"You are going to Birmingham for a night out? No one goes to Birmingham for a Saturday night out!


Edit/ Typical - I say no no one is typing and people start posting
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:33, archived)
I slept with your wife

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:34, archived)
I know
she told me how small you are
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:35, archived)
Well as long as i come

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:36, archived)
Did you save the diamonds, and foil the evil Dr's plans, with only a blue ballpoint and half a tub of flora?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:36, archived)
are these Birmingham specialilities?

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:37, archived)
yes, or stitches

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:39, archived)
this is probably still true
i don't know of anywhere that's regularily worth going to on a saturday night. Friday nights are pretty shit too. Wednesday however is the night to go out in birmingham.
(I helped save b3ta! asparagus time Is in Brazil., Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:37, archived)
This explains everything

It also explains why I couldn't get a table anywhere on a Wednesday night some years later when I was in Brum on business
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:39, archived)
Have I missed something?

Dire Straits were the first band I ever saw live at the tender age of 12. Thet were brilliant :)

Evening all! Only on for a few mins.
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:38, archived)
*bums*

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:38, archived)
About all the action I'm going to get
until next weekend :'(
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:40, archived)
And thats a bad thing?
i'll have you know im hung like a gnat!
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:41, archived)
Hehe - have you been drinking perchance?
I'm just lamenting my general lack of nookie.

Oh my download is finished - will be off in a sec. Have a good one :)
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:44, archived)
not so tender now!

(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:41, archived)
Would you prefer it with the sandpaper overcoat?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:42, archived)
Dire Starits brilliant live? - yes
Birmingham Saturday night? - no
Police evacuate Brum tonight? - yes
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:40, archived)
Just went to the Beeb
site and seen what's going on. Brum is a bit bit weird anyway.

I've still got a real soft spot for Dire Straits - 1st 3 albums were the best I think, despite how much people rave about Brothers in Arms.
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:42, archived)
Bothers In Arms got extra kudos
for being the first mainstream pop record to be released on CD.

At a time when classical music was all that was available for 20 quid on CD, Dire Straits mastered the album with CD in mind (a first) and sold it everywhere for 9.99.

There were only 2 strong tracks in my opinion, Making Movies and Love Over Gold were my favourites.
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:46, archived)
Making Movies
was great, Love over gold had a couple of really good tracks (Telegraph Road especially) but didn't really stand out. Their eponymous first album is still probably my favorite.

Anyway, I'm off - nn mate :)
(I helped save b3ta! Fenris temporary Lazarus, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:50, archived)
Have a good one

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:51, archived)
Nighty-night.
*dives into Jadeviper's bed*
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:30, archived)
plenty room in there
you can warm it up for me
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:32, archived)
*joins you*
*belittles your small penis*
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:33, archived)
*gasps*
Why didn't this make the front page?
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:28, archived)
Because it's a shit, boring story?

(Jimmy Choo, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:29, archived)
IT'S A BLOODY MOCKERY OF WHAT BRITAIN STANDS FOR!

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:31, archived)
TERRORISTS!

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:33, archived)
erm
it's top story on the bbc site and nothing's actually happened, what more do you want?

edit: oops loggin in out and spackery
*belms*

in other news, it may be time for wine.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:48, archived)
KILLER TOMATOES!

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:49, archived)
now THAT would deserve my attention

(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:51, archived)
Atttttaaaaaaack ofthekiller TOMATOOOOES!

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:52, archived)
giant ones
or lots and lots of little cherry tomatoes?
(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:54, archived)
I think the cartoon included both actually.

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:55, archived)
it was
a 1950s B-movie. enormous tomatoes on skateboards, you could see the feet of the person pushing them. fantastic fillum
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:57, archived)
They made a cartoon series too, you twonk.

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:58, archived)
yes
based on the 1950s B-movie. and I'm not a twonk, I'm a 4* Numpty
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:59, archived)
I was referring to the cartoon though. NUMPTY!

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:03, archived)
that's
FOUR STAR NUMPTY if you don't mind
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:05, archived)
I haven't seen either
is it going to be worth me trying to see them?
(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:08, archived)
it was quite far down the BBC News bulletin, to be fair.

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:49, archived)
I work at the westminster end of victoria street in london
since I've worked there the street's been evacuated and cordoned off a number of times and it doesn't get reported at all. i know it's more newsworthy at the moment, but still, it happens now and then.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:53, archived)
posssible threats to the department of trade and industry
isn't in victoria street?
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:09, archived)
eh?
I don't think anyone would bother bombing the DTI but scotland yard is over the road, innit.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 23:15, archived)
I reckon it's because they've launched the t-virus
and Birmingham will be over-run by zombies
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:50, archived)
Nothing has happened
=good thing
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:51, archived)
clearly this

(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:52, archived)
Fuck sake
the hard rock cafe is on fire now.

(park lane, london)
(FluffehNinja, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:31, archived)
I've got hotels built on there,
I bet it's that bastard boot cheating again,
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:33, archived)
...
pfft
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:43, archived)
hotel, shurley?
And if you are playing the "Here and Now" edition...
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:45, archived)
you don't like the place then?

(I helped save b3ta! sex and dougs and rock n roll, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:34, archived)
What, london
or the hard rock cafe?
(FluffehNinja, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:40, archived)
oh the humanity

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:34, archived)
We've just been treated to some lully fireworks
from my loft room, without paying £25
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:25, archived)
Live near Birmingham at all?

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:27, archived)
Nope
That would be a bit of a cock-up for the Police...
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:30, archived)

do you live in birmingham town centre?
(I helped save b3ta! sex and dougs and rock n roll, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:27, archived)
and all I've got is news 24
no fair
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:27, archived)
We've just had loads of fireworks too

(Hartlepool15 aka []Chips[] So you don't have to, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:28, archived)
I like the way
that if a city centre as large as Birmingham is evacuated, it gets pretty much no coverage on the news.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:15, archived)
I think it's getting enough Richard Whiteley coverage on MSN b0rked here, don't you world is round think?

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:21, archived)

*cough* *hack* *cough
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:21, archived)
because it's hopefully a hoax
and until we know otherwise it serves little purpose to run footage of newscasters with little more to report than the evacuation. The exception being rolling news channels who can keep reminding us of it via news tickers while reporting other stuff.

on the other hand maybe there's a priority list somewhere that reads

1. Bombs
2. Brummies
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:25, archived)
Sky news is making a big deal out of it
the BBC is playing it cool unless/untill something goes *boom*
(FluffehNinja, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:26, archived)
Is basil brush the new police spokesman?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:30, archived)
he's got his paws on the pulse

(I helped save b3ta! Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:35, archived)
see you later
i'm going to camp monday, and i'll see you in a week or sometime.
(roygerdodger, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:12, archived)
dear god
I hope the place is run by the SS
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:13, archived)
back by next screaming tuesday then?

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:14, archived)
like Julian Clary
camps?
(I helped save b3ta! robh, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:20, archived)

I'm following on from DJRich on www.ftlfm.com
expect rock, and the request lines are open.
www.ftlfm.com | www.ftlfm.com/board | www.ftlfm.com/doug | 83.149.101.8:8014/listen.pls
(I helped save b3ta! sex and dougs and rock n roll, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:11, archived)
Fucking. Hell.
Spamaholic or something?
(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:20, archived)

just one on each board.
(I helped save b3ta! sex and dougs and rock n roll, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:22, archived)
scary thought - you're a terrorist and you send your warnings via isketch
isketch: 'bumb' in not part of the word
police: bugger
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:50, archived)
In a related note
A bit more info: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4668313.stm
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:51, archived)
That was posted just a minute ago.

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:52, archived)
Nah the minute ago one was the breaking news bit
hope to goodness it's some silly bugger though
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:54, archived)
Apparently the helicopters have been hovering over head since
2000....5 years in the air?!
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:57, archived)
chinooks?

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:59, archived)
Or as they call them in the RAF
"The Flying Death Banana"
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:00, archived)
That makes me want to hug it.

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:02, archived)
liquidised turnip?
*offers*
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:03, archived)
Alaska?

(I helped save b3ta! Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:05, archived)
four candles?

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:07, archived)
Jamaica?

(I helped save b3ta! Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:16, archived)
got any pumps?

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:20, archived)
Or possibly 20:00

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:00, archived)
It definitely said 2000
on the link
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:03, archived)
And the BST?

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:03, archived)
British standard time?
This is just a guess
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:04, archived)
Bloody Stupid Twat!


this may or may not be an insult
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:06, archived)
It's the same one.
Check the URL.

www.b3ta.com/talk/628873
(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:58, archived)
damn those ninja edits
of the BBC
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:00, archived)
I read that
as nipple ejects, for some reason
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:04, archived)
sounds like something shouted during a robot fight scene
in a japanese cartoon, our robot hero in mid air strikes a defiant fighting pose with the cry of *nipple ejects*

immediately followed by lens flare on his nipples (and the all important zing sound effect) before they detach and attack the baddie
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:06, archived)
Ah, but with new content!
how exciting.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:00, archived)
Nicolas Witchell on News 24
Reporting on women's memorial of WW2 at Cenotaph.

'These are the women who took it night after night'

He can't say that about these old ladies - can he!?!?
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:49, archived)
Yes, Britain can take it
up the arse
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:53, archived)
Was that rationed during the war too?!?
.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:54, archived)
well lube would have been in short supply
*imagines ministry of information short on lubricant substitutes*
spokesman: Many people are saying today what can liquidised turnip be used for...
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:56, archived)
don't liquidise...
just shove it in there too. ouch.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:57, archived)
Evenin' all!
Birmingham eh?
Reckon there are actually any bombs or not?
(FluffehNinja, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:47, archived)
It's World War Fucking Three!

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:50, archived)
Well, it's livening up my dull saturday night at least...
*safely hidden away in a village in Wales*
(FluffehNinja, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:50, archived)
*safely in evacuee-favourite town in the north*
Edit- What are all the 'controlled explosions' about? That must mean they found something suspicious?
(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:52, archived)
Yeah,
I've heard there were a couple of suspect packages found and they're going to try and detonate them with bomb-robot things.
(FluffehNinja, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:56, archived)
In other words
they'll never actually know
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:06, archived)
no they'll know
the remote detonations are designed to destroy the device's mechanism but not necessarily to the extent that the device itself is blown to smithereens
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:13, archived)
would that be the village
with a call centre, a mcdonalds and a train station?
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:55, archived)
It may well be.
Don't forget the two shite pubs.
(FluffehNinja, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 22:02, archived)
Somebody's arse..
going off after a particularly bad curry?
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:51, archived)
Nah
it's just Jasper Carrott
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:50, archived)
I wonder how it feels to lie to your country.

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:41, archived)
Dunno
Ask most leaders
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:43, archived)
Oi, you..Hankster!
did you manage to get away for a weekend?

if so, where? was it nice? was it by the seaside?


*jealous, 'cos I've been nowhere for years*
(I helped save b3ta! robh, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:46, archived)
Nah
I stayed here. Couldn't be arsed in the end, maybe next month.
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:48, archived)
aaaaw,
next month, I still recommend Hebden Bridge!
you'd meet druid, me and loads of durty beer;)
(I helped save b3ta! robh, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:51, archived)
the jeopardy answer is Tony Blair

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:44, archived)
WE'RE GONNA NEED A MONTAGE!

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:18, archived)
Yay.

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:18, archived)
no no
I think this situation calls more for a collage.
(I helped save b3ta! Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:23, archived)
*prances about with pritt stick*

(I helped save b3ta! hoifbjifbef, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)
You actually want
some fromage
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)
frottage?


*ventures back onto talk board while isketch is apparently full*
(I helped save b3ta! MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:26, archived)
It always makes me laugh
that the fans of Fulham FC are called Cottagers
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:27, archived)
*looks at UrbanDictionary*
So that's what cottaging means!

Pfft.
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)
I am surprised George Michael doesn't put in a bid ffor them

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:29, archived)
yeah he might
turn a different corner into a goal



/tenuous
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:31, archived)
As a homage to what?

(moomin-papa ; folkin class., Sat 9 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)

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