b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 10264426 (Thread)

# Newsletter subject line compo
If your humour is ripe
then it's time to type
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:25, archived)
# BAITING YOU WITH POLICE VANS
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:26, archived)
# HALF A POUND OF BERNARD MATTHEWS PLEASE BUTCHER
(I helped save b3ta! Mster Johnny Ekstrom, now that's a name, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:27, archived)
# MASTER BAITER
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:55, archived)
# At least a cunt's useful, wank ...
Oh.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:00, archived)
# Media Students get A grade for making it onto TV
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:27, archived)
# B3taful, really B3taful
(I helped save b3ta! flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:27, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:40, archived)
# *crosses fingers and toes*
pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
(I helped save b3ta! flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:43, archived)
# winning the NSLC is a major rush I can tell you
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:26, archived)
# Like snorting coke from between Kelly Brooks naked breasts
... I'll be back in five minutes something has just come up
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:28, archived)
# In your turkey, eating your Bernard.
(Code of Post lives at the moment in time that is..., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:27, archived)
# Twizzling into your inbox since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:28, archived)
# we've spent all week thinking about you naked and errect
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:28, archived)
# Jimmy Wales gets B3ta Contract - All Donations Accepted
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:29, archived)
# You're next, Jamie Oliver
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:29, archived)
# Bernard Matthews funds raised by Car Bootiful Sale
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:29, archived)
# ... is Bernard Manning still alive because I'm sure there some name confusion based humour here somewhere...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:30, archived)
# no - no he isn't
he died in 2007...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:50, archived)
# ^ He should be done by now then.
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:56, archived)
# reminds me of that classic not the nine oclock news gag
"Tragedy today as bernard manning who was told to lose 3 stone or die, has lost 3 stone."
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:21, archived)
# Because 'Young Person's Question Time' isn't comprehensive enough.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:30, archived)
# ONLY EVER 3 STEPS BEHIND TWITTER FOR THE LATEST NEWS!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:30, archived)
# eventually Disney/Pixar will have cartoonised everything no matter how boring
www.b3ta.com/board/10264422
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:31, archived)
# Benard Matthews accepts his death after reading it first on Twitter!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:31, archived)
# Turkey Ham but why no Pork Turkey. Finally the truth can be told
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:31, archived)
# Advising the US Navy on Korea-Limiting Manoeuvres.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:32, archived)
# virtually breakdancing to save the internet community centre
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:32, archived)
# old skool, I like it
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:56, archived)
# just old
so old... so very old
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:07, archived)
# It's Christmas in heaven and turkey's on the menu
(I helped save b3ta! flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:33, archived)
# STUDENTS FIND KETTLES AREN'T JUST FOR MAKING TEA
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:33, archived)
# Yes
You can make Pot Noodles with them as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:37, archived)
# boiling an egg as well but that's too much like rocket science
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:38, archived)
# Norfolk man survives genetic deformities until the age of 80
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:33, archived)
# Due to cutbacks, this newsletter has no subject line.
* Hang on, that would not work would it?
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:33, archived)
# Booting the bucket. Really booting it
(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:34, archived)
# solution to student riots: Don't give them every Wedensday afternoon off!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:34, archived)
# We like N. Korea, and we like S. Korea... But which is better? There's only one way to find out...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:34, archived)
# Ha!
This one.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:35, archived)
# B3ta supporting our friends and allies in North Korean.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:35, archived)
# ^ Stop the press we have a winner ^
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:45, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:45, archived)
# Blend it, add water, mix with ham, and reform it into something edible
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:35, archived)
# Why did the turkey cross the road...
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:35, archived)
# Psychic cook called Carolyn convinced Rob he's got Ginger Hair
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:41, archived)
# Let's ask Tony Blair what to do about Korea
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:42, archived)
# give him a chance to fix the middle east like what he's doing such a good job of...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:44, archived)
# intensively farmed, not ethically sourced, full of fat and chemicals, and cheap... but enough about us...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:43, archived)
# Containing more Gobble than Debbie, from Dallis
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:47, archived)
# Standing with our North Korean Allies
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:52, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/10264426#post10264464
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:53, archived)
# Nuts!
Didn't see that one
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:09, archived)
# CHILEAN MINERS SUSPECTED OF SECOND NZ BLAST
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:53, archived)
# Just fucking snow already, you bastard!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:53, archived)
# FUCKING SNOW, HOW DOES IT WORK
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:54, archived)
# Magnets - fucking shitty magnets!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:58, archived)
# Science!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:04, archived)
# Fucking miracles, man!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 15:12, archived)
# It's all that global warming, innit
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:09, archived)
# Snow in Winter - how unseasonal!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:29, archived)
# I blame immigrants.
And the poor.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:32, archived)
# needs more cancer and outrage
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:37, archived)
# and Turkey Twizzlers
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:40, archived)
# and liverpool
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:48, archived)
# 4eva in our harts
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:50, archived)
# wiv da drumsticks
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:51, archived)
# Norfolk man touches last ham
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 12:57, archived)
# New Zealanders fail to thwart Balrog
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:00, archived)
# Ooof!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:01, archived)
# Hahaha!
Ouch! =P
(I helped save b3ta! Kerrisis There's someone in my head, but it's not me., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:12, archived)
# hahahaha *Click*
(Thebigfella, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:19, archived)
# *caugh*splutter*breathe*
*wipes smirk from face*

too soon!
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:20, archived)
# What is this new devilry? :D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:26, archived)
# Superb
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:33, archived)
# RUN YOU FOOLS!
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:46, archived)
# FLY you fools.
Tsk!
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:18, archived)
# Well,
it's been a while since I watched it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 15:10, archived)
# I heard they renamed him 'Vega' when the game was released in the West.
Wait...what?
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:59, archived)
# pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 17:43, archived)
# fucking hell
Go directly to Hull for that one
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:28, archived)
# ...though I did laugh
out loud

in the office
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:32, archived)
# if sarah harding is reading this gaz mongychops
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:00, archived)
# The Turkey Ham of spam emails
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:00, archived)
#
Taking a Dump In McKeiths's billy can since 2010
(joe is troubled Got all married and teh stuffs, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:03, archived)
# McKeith gives Christie a run for his money with size of Lunchbox found in knickers
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:04, archived)
# I, for one, welcome our turkey overlords
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:07, archived)
# I've had it with these baste-ards making Bernard Matthew jokes.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:07, archived)
# B3ta smuggling more hidden spices down our knickers than Gillian McKeith!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:09, archived)
# This is how Scampi Fries are made.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:12, archived)
# haha and ewww
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:15, archived)
# koreas advisor gets new job
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:10, archived)
# Turkey refugees flood into countryside, middle-classes outraged
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:12, archived)
# What's Bernard Matthew's wife getting for xmas?
A fucking goose.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:14, archived)
# Spider: I'm not going in a box with mckeith.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:15, archived)
#
We dodge tax, but not your rubber truncheons.
(Professor of Lesbonics remembered his password on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:16, archived)
# <Insert Your Pithy Statement Here>
(MrKane 01234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:19, archived)
# Stealing police uniforms to beat up kids.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:19, archived)
# Dune to be remade with Gillian McKeith in search of the spice poontang
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:21, archived)
# DECEASED SEASONAL MEAT MAGNATE CREMATORY SERVICES SPONSORED BY PAXO
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:23, archived)
# can you imagine how lovely the Crematorium will smell
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:26, archived)
# FUCKING LOVELY MEAT
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:31, archived)
# Yay more Brian Blessed
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Royal wedding to go ahead on David Ickes birthday, conspiracy or coincidence
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:25, archived)
# We're quite good at suggesting
(glammerocity state of the art Luddite, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:25, archived)
# ^ worse suggestion ever
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:27, archived)
# It's my X Factor/Strictly technique
of fooling dullards into voting for shite.
(glammerocity state of the art Luddite, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 15:55, archived)
# Oh, the humanities...
(that is all)
(I helped save b3ta! prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:27, archived)
# IN MEMORY OF BERNARD MATTHEWS, GIVE YOUR MAN A GOOD GOBBLE
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:29, archived)
# Bernard Matthews: Norfolk and Good
(needs to be said fast to get the real meaning)
(I helped save b3ta! camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:30, archived)
# ANOTHER KETTLE OF PISH
or tosh or trash whatever
(Cloudane, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:32, archived)
# as much fun a a bar mitzvah in a brothel
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:42, archived)
# Oh fuck yeah it's Friday.
I got confused because of Thanksgiving.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:53, archived)
# Is pumpkin pie a real thing or do people just make it to laugh at tourists?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:19, archived)
# The Sherman girl brought pumpkin pie into the office yesterday
I'm having a slice with a cup of tea

It's really rather good
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:30, archived)
# It's real
as is sweet potato pie.
If you want to try it but it's not available in your area, you could just buy a pie crust and eat it with 4lbs of sugar and some cinnamon.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:56, archived)
# Has skwizzed another poop
(I helped save b3ta! Steerable_forehead Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration,don't fail me now, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:07, archived)
# Helping New Zealands Miners make a new Korea move every Friday since 2000....
(Code of Post lives at the moment in time that is..., Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:07, archived)
# "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - a personal appeal from the outlaw Josey Wales
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:16, archived)
# THEY ONLY SUFFERED MINOR INJURIES LOL
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:18, archived)
# BERNARD MATTHEWS DIES ON THANKSGIVING... IRONY METER EXPLODES
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:19, archived)