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First past the post is a much simpler system. Everyone wants tofu.

From the YESTOAV vs NOTOAV challenge. See all 114 entries (closed)

(ohp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:53, archived)

BOLLOCKS

Bacon is the king of foods

*see post below

(

Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:54, archived)

THIS! ^

it's the only food that can be a snack, part of a meal and can be eaten anytime of day, without someone thinking there's something weird about it

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real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:42, archived)

This is nonsense

marinaded in gibberish, and served on a bed of balderdash.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:55, archived)

I think that's what I had

Last time I ate at a restaurant in London.

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The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:58, archived)

Was that the Soho branch of 'Poppycock'?

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:02, archived)

That's for dessert.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:03, archived)

The Folderol with Raspberry Coulis

is supposed to be stunning.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:05, archived)

as I recall it didn't actually have a legible 'name' it had a symbol instead.... (pint-sized-musico-Prince-stylee)

I think that should have warned me from the start.

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The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:04, archived)

It's never a good sign, is it?

no pun intended

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:06, archived)

Tofu is

the scrapings from beneath the Devil's larger toenail.

Foie Gras FTW!

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:56, archived)

I really wish I'd never tried foie gras.

It's much easier to be ethically repelled by something if you don't know how delicious it is.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:58, archived)

Very true.

It's kidneys for me. *shudders*

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:59, archived)

I have no moral objection to kidneys.

I refuse to eat them simply because they're boagin'.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:05, archived)

Oh, I have no moral issue,

Like you, I just find them repellent. See also Broad Beans.

*bokes*

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:08, archived)

They're just baby kidneys.

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An Egg ,D, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:09, archived)

I thought that was kidney beans?

Also *boke*

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Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:12, archived)

here. that's braw. Do you mind if I use the Scottish version?

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:20, archived)

hahahahaa

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:21, archived)

Nicely!

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Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:28, archived)

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:30, archived)

This explains it!

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:12, archived)

I aint tried it... I am quite willing to try balut though.. so I may give foi gras a turn

if some one buys it for me to try.

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:06, archived)

That's the second time in a couple of days that I've heard balut mentioned.

It sounds truly revolting.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:10, archived)

yup.. this is why hopefully I will never end up in china

so my mouth never gets any trousers.. or something like that.

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)

It's OK.

Other foodstuffs are available.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:25, archived)

I mean I've said I would eat it

so I'm now hoping I never get into a situation where I will find it available to eat.

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:29, archived)

Hmmmm.

Not sure I could go to that.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:14, archived)

mmm the sumptuousness of deliberately diseased livers.

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:05, archived)

That's the one!

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:07, archived)

Don't forget the cruelty.

The tasty, tasty cruelty.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:11, archived)

There are far too many Ham Touchers

and what the hell is Tofu made of anyway!

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:59, archived)

cock cheese and phlegm

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Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:00, archived)

bean curd, made by coagulating soy milk

all of those words just spell delicious :D

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:01, archived)

Yum yum get in my tum!

that sounds so much better than a bacon sandwich with crispy lettuce and tomato.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:05, archived)

only because of the conditioning your brain has been through to accept "bacon"

read this if you have time:
www.animalsandsociety.org/assets/462_mitchellsa.pdf
fascinating stuff about how the brain accepts things like animal farming in the same way people did the holocaust.
Genuinely great read for anyone interested in how the brain works.

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:08, archived)

21 pages probably don;t have time since I should be setting off to work in 10minutes or so

I suppose if you were brought on tofu and such then you'd be used to it.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:11, archived)

I don't think the jews were as tasty as bacon

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Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:13, archived)

Jews are almost 100% bacon free

so they are the healthier choice.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:19, archived)

The free range ones

are far too expensive.

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)

I'm against the battery farm variety

they suffer so much.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:24, archived)

That's outrageous I can't believe you said that!

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:35, archived)

*skim-reads*

Well, that looks like nonsense. It utterly ignored the differences between persons and non-persons - comparing animal husbandry to the holocaust is only going to be plausible if you think that farm-animals are persons, or Jews non-persons. Both of these would be false.

The language is loaded, therefore question-begging.

Also, this paper ignores all the important philosophical work that's been done on animal welfare in the last 40 years - it doesn't even cite Singer or Rachels, who would be plausible allies, let alone give a hearing to those who think that nonhumans are of little to no moral importance.

How does stuff like this pass peer-review, grumble grumble.

Right: I'm off to spend an afternoon doing real philosophy. Dispassionately. With arguments.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:24, archived)

that's some impressive skin reading, you seem to have missed all the points and taken it to be about something that it isn't

the holocaust comment I made is a very tiny comparison made almost as an aside, its not what the blokes paper is about.

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:28, archived)

I imagine the rationale is the same for most things people consider unpleasant.

So long as it's not going on under your nose and there's offical sanction, it's okay, even when it's not. That said, pigs aren't animals and they're very tasty, whereas jewish people aren't tasty and complain more

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:37, archived)

I'm reading it in a bit more detail at the moment.

There's a lot of highly morally loaded language in there, and precious little argument to support it. And there remains a big, big, big problem along the lines that comparing treatments of different kinds of animal in this way is only ever going to be more than empty formalism if there is some serious sense in which the animals are morally comparable. That doesn't seem to be established here.

I simply don't buy the argument - not least because the important bits are left out.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:37, archived)

I skimmed your comments

and they sound like, "I like meat, they're animals, shut up".

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:47, archived)

Pigs have a lot to answer for

I mean, pork chops are vile.

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:50, archived)

I skimmed your post

It sounded like 'comments..sound..meat'. Coincidentally the new album by Nine Inch Nails.

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:51, archived)

I skimmed my stone across your pond

and now we're caught in a sexual allegory :(

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:53, archived)

is that business or pleassure?

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:43, archived)

As a counterpoint:

www.lloydianaspects.co.uk/opinion/veggie.html

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gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:02, archived)

Hahahaha

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:50, archived)

This person sounds terribly naïve

"Whenever and wherever possible, it is important that nonhuman farming be portrayed as abusive in its essential character, even in its supposedly more benign forms such as “free range,” “traditional,” or “grass fed.” It needs to be apprehended by the public as a system in which nonhumans are held captive, mutilated, controlled, impregnated, castrated, and killed."

...what did they think happened on farms?

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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:06, archived)

Those few lines

are enought to tell me there is no point me reading the article.

I do hope everyone's high horses are being treated ethically though!

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Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:39, archived)

My inlaws have farms

I a few days in December as a hand on a farm for pigs and cattle - sorry, I mean an institution for the abuse of nonhumans.

Mmmm, tasty, tasty nonhumans.

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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:48, archived)

but that's the point, the masses don't think that happens

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:17, archived)

0_o

You see ^This^ is whay I hate the fact the internet is text based... I simply can't tell if people are being sarcastic or genuine. I really hope you don't mean that :(

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The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:09, archived)

Of course I'm being sarcastic - I love BLTs

as for Tofu I've never ventured to try it but my brain immediately tells me as I've tasted soya milk before then Tofu isn't going to be a pleasant experience.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:14, archived)

it's almost tasteless

with the texture of sheep brains

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Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:15, archived)

Now I'm really hungry

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:17, archived)

Tofu

is ok as a 'carrier' of flavour. I had a nice sweet and sour tofu once, but it was the sauce, not the tofu that made it.

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:17, archived)

Yeah I figured that was the case. Still not tempted though.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:20, archived)

My mate got handed some tofu

at the end of a long day touring a factory in China. He'd never had it before and thought it would be like cheese. The taste was so weird he immediately brought up his lunch in front of half a dozen horrified chinese businessmen and his chortling workmates.

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:03, archived)

In some countries that's a sign of a delicious meal!

or is that diarrhea?

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:06, archived)

it's like cream cheese cross bred with rubber with all the flavour removed

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:06, archived)

That's a fair description.

The Chinese had got it into their heads that every meal should be a banquet for their wonderful English customers who were buying all their stuff. After 2 days of glistening meat and rich, oily sauces something had to give.

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:14, archived)

When I was a kid,

I used to confuse the word "tofu" with the word "futon".

I can remember which is which now. One is tasteless and chewy; the other's a kind of sofa-bed.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:07, archived)

If any party brought bacon to my doorstep whilst canvassing, I would vote for them.

At the last election, when the Conservative bloke rolled up on our street, I said I'd vote for him if he gave me £20. Apparently this is illegal, even though I promised I wouldn't tell anyone.

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:59, archived)

Much as I can only barely stomach tofu

I'd vote for it if it meant an end to pig farming :(

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:05, archived)

But surely

an end to pig farming would mean an end to pigs?

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:07, archived)

as a farmed commodity yes

but there's no reason to kill the entire species in spite
Although I imagine a lot of farmers would

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:10, archived)

to stop the uprising the farmers would need to go like Saddam Hussain and gas the herds

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Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:12, archived)

Ooooof!

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:13, archived)

I doubt

there is much natural environment for them now in this country, and the wild ones would soon be killed illegally. Like the wild boar.

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:12, archived)

no, absolutely, same with cows

but there's nothing stopping people continuing to keep them as pets!
We created the problem, it's now clearly a major cause of damage to both our environment and health, so it kind of makes sense that we should find a solution

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:17, archived)

I have this odd feeling you don't live in a flat.

Edit: because, obviously keeping them as pets in an urban environment is so clearly not practical.
I'd like to point out that I'm going on a pig-rearing course for a few days next month, in order to get a proper handle on when I have some outside space and decide to start keeping my own pigs.
I'm not being flip with you at all, I'm just intrigued by your somewhat didactic approach.

Edit Edit: Realises, all too late that he's got me on ignore anyway. Hey ho.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:20, archived)

if it's any consollation I enjoyed this comments reasonableness

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:33, archived)

I've never

used the ignore button, even on that bloke who really hated me on here.

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:36, archived)

Well, once again, Ms Lunch

You show us all a better way.

*hugs*

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:41, archived)

*hugs back*

Well, life's too short.

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:47, archived)

snap :D

I like being easy going.

EDIT: actually that's a lie... I ignored myself once to see what would happen.

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:44, archived)

What did happen?

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:48, archived)

all my posts vanished from the board

and then I had a mild flap about how to undo it. :D

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arrangedletters, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:52, archived)

me? I haven't got anyone on ignore, I was just outside trying to fix a bit of fence

Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as didactic, this seems to happen a lot which is odd as all I think I'm doing is having a pleasant conversation.
Sorry again

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:52, archived)

Hey Toasty,

No bother whatsoever, I was only wondering as you seemed very clear on your point. ....and then it all went quiet.

*firm handshakes*

Contrary to my normal 'let's all eat revolting foods' cant that I put on the board; Animal welfare is something I truly believe in and actively campaign for, but I guess I couch it more in terms of also providing as humane a means of food supply as possible to those who choose to eat meat.

I'm completely with where you're coming from from, though. My only caveat, I guess, would be that link to the South African academic's piece, which I'm finding a little too 'right on' to be practicable.
All in all, not an easily solved problem.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 15:55, archived)

yep, I only said that it was a good read

I'm fascinated about how the brain works. Especially how posting a document that I thought was a good read makes people think I'm making a political or ethical statement :D

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:14, archived)

I suspect the solution will probably end up being

some new hyper level of intensive farming.

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:21, archived)

if there's more money to be made then yes, I'm sure it will be

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)

You are being cynical today Toasty.

I think demand is the main driver for bacon production, not profit, although naturally that plays a huge part.

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:27, archived)

Bacon is good for my health!

Just the smell of it makes me happy.

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TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:21, archived)

Absolutely right!

Similarly, people who are afeared of rats should stop generating so much waste for them to live in

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The Legendary Pink Dot isn't impressed by this whole "internet" thing, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)

There's good eating on a rat

if you clean them and cook them thoroughly. Just watch out for them heavy metals...

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:34, archived)

You can't milk them either.

If only bacon wasn't so delicious.

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Smallbrainfield, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:19, archived)

if we stop the oppression they will rise up in an orwellian nightmare and seize control of the farm

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Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:10, archived)

All pig farming?

Or the evil Danish Intensive manner of production?

Edit: Actually, there's a clue right there. 'Production' as opposed to 'Farming'.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:12, archived)

They all feed at the public trough

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Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:17, archived)

Tofu toucher

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)