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Help me write the newsletter. Fill in the XXX bits with nice ideas

STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* XXX
* XXX
* XXX

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:01, archived)

I think you

know what I'm going to suggest ...

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:01, archived)

carrot and mimsy

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)

Bugger me

you must be psychic

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

He's just been working really hard on a suprise for you and is checking you'll still like it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

You

mean there may have been some doubt?

Or is he just checking if it'll shut me up?

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

You could be fickle....

you may have moved on to parsnips.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:06, archived)

omg no!

don't go putting other vegetables into the equation.
My head simply wont be able to take it!

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:10, archived)

DP though

Or TP. I'm sure you could fit two baby carrots. Maybe even three, end ot end. Rapid fire!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:12, archived)

RAPID FIRE!!!! YES!!!

OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY POOR LITTLE BRAIN!!!?!

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:15, archived)

You aint met perverted till you've met me.

*handshake*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:16, archived)

*shakes hand*

*wipes thin layer of goo onto nearest curtains*

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:19, archived)

* Black pudding made from menstrual fluids

(or has that already been suggested?)

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)

yeah we ran that

no one did it tho

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

ah thought so.

*starving*

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

you surprise me

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:06, archived)

Animal Cruelty

(

Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)

hahaha

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)

I may

be able to be of assistance in suggesting a possible form of animal cruelty ...

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)

Rob, make me a star!

(

the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)

too much gum action going on there

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:09, archived)

Well I'm voting for this to be included on it's HOT SEX PISS appeal alone.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

snakes on a plane

wanking for charity
wild haslet
Jacob Dyer
fast n bulbous

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)

That's right!

(

Ghostwriter can't pick up his pencil, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)

take snakes onto a plane

and take photos as proof of your efforts!

/edit damnit! beaten to it!

(

hmmm cheese, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

snakes on a plane is now officially uncool

I decree it.

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)

how about

a step by step guide to smuggling water onto a plane

(

hmmm cheese, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

Even

in clear plastic bags?

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

if tied securely and thrown in a lake

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:07, archived)

Would you be

taking the lake on the plane then?

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

nah - no liquid allowed

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:15, archived)

Praise the Ginger One

For he has spoken

Snakes On A Plane is no longer acceptable bandwaggoning material. Praise his words

*bows*

(

Mart No Fool No posts but lots of stalks recently., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:09, archived)

i read that as *blows*

at first. think i prefer my version

(

hmmm cheese, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

Jacob Dyer interview

(

McBadger COW, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

^That.

(

Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

here you go

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jacobdyer

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

hehe!

needs more French neck burning

(

McBadger COW, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:07, archived)

Hahahahaha, this.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

pffft!

(

the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:06, archived)

I made a sandwich.

Just a sandwich.

EDIT, oh and me wife preggers. Oh fuck.

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

and

you did!! *childish chortle*

(

Mart No Fool No posts but lots of stalks recently., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

www.girlauthority.com/ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..and so forth

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

errrm

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)

pffft!

I read that as 'Girth Authority'

(

McBadger COW, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)

recreating famous movie death scenes....

*actual death whilst doing this optional

or try and create a real legal dispute between Debbie McGee and the Kennel Club

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

Any cake recipe that doesn't involve use of a scale

But handfuls. (I have no scales)

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

Yeah, this ^ ^ ^

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

it does need to be done...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:08, archived)

depends on the size of your hands.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

well, big cake/small cake - it's all cake.

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:06, archived)

*gets ruler*

16 cm from tip of middle finger to wrist aaaaand

7 cm wide palm.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:07, archived)

20 x 9 here, baby ;)

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

What are you, a polar bear?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:12, archived)

ACTUALLY ROB

Hand measuring- the new cock measuring?

you should run a prize for the biggest/smallest hands. Like a.... mint or something.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)

Is this a flimsy

attempt to find out who has the largest cock on b3ta?
Cos you know it's not me, I'm tiny ...

(

Far Out Slave last ate at, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:29, archived)

Well the BCC Project girl started that... but somehow disappeared off the face of the earth

I guess there is such thing as too much cock..

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:43, archived)

ooh me too

we must be hand-twins!

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:19, archived)

*Shakes hands*

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:21, archived)

*grips firmly*

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:24, archived)

*Looks you deep in the eyes*

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:30, archived)

19 X 10

WOO

(

diablo290582 Professional.....something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:32, archived)

Pah

Such small and feminine hands

20cm long
and
10cm wide.

(

Mart No Fool No posts but lots of stalks recently., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:12, archived)

blimey!

What are you doing at 5 o clock?

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:14, archived)

just big enough to...

[content of post deleted]

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:15, archived)

Buy something off QVC

and tell us if it is actually as good as they say it is.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

I'm wearing a bracelet

from the Ideal World channel. Mystic topaz, diamond and rhodium plated silver. It's pretty.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:08, archived)

I want a juicer

The way they bang on about it, it's like it's guarenteed to make me live forever.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:10, archived)

I want those floppy baking tray things

with the 'ring of confidence'- i saw the floppy things in Cargo a few days ago and asked the shop girl if they had a 'ring of confidence' - she obviously doesn't watch Ideal World because she looked at me like I was fucking....Mork or something.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

You're fucking Mork?!

I knew he was getting some.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:14, archived)

Hairy, innee?

Mmmmmm. Chest fur rules.

No. Like I WAS Mork. I was swearing to appear big and clever.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:17, archived)

I bought a few of those

They really are ace.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:24, archived)

I knew

I should have got some.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:48, archived)

I have one...

It is the b*ll*cks... Except, don't put your b*ll*cks in it, they will be juiced, and 30% more than any other juicer!!

(

benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:23, archived)

the effects of rubbing deep heat into your ball sack and then thrashing it with a bunch onf stinging nettles.

with photos.

make a giant cake out of cardboard and hide someone in it to surprise someone, like on under seige, where that bird pops up with her baps out.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)

hahah ^this!

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)

yes!

nettle masturbation!!!

(

McBadger COW, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

I quite like XXX

but as that's easy to find anyway, then how about gigantic garden erections

or sneak up to Japanese torists using camcorders and say 'pissflaps' close to the camera microphone

and maybe get someone else to film you doing it or something

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)

Pimp my tea mug.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)

^this^

so this

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

done

www.cafepress.com/jeccy.12592317

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:08, archived)

Yes!

^ more of this sort of thing ^

(

joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:23, archived)

werewolves in drag

the musical

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

this website's shit

prodigy69.co.uk/

WHO GOT THEIR PICTURES IN THE FUCKING BOOK?!

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)

I just mailed one!

To recap,

"You remember that 'Do your thing' video, where people walk in and out of shot at the right time with the lyrics printed on T-shirts or jiggly tops? Do that for something sweary..."

(

joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:06, archived)

I'd like the female readers to write on their tits, "I love the ginger fuhrer"

In blood. Or shit. Blog it etc.

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:07, archived)

Alas

Some of us can only offer a paint reconstruction.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:10, archived)

I feel that at some point my idea has been taken away from me

Not saying that's bad, you know; cross-pollination of ideas and such like. Just saying that maybe you could list your version as contributed by 'Alan Smithee' or suchlike...

(

joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)

oh calm down love

I'm not running this, I'm just talking bollocks on the board

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:15, archived)

it's the official religion in these parts

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:18, archived)

So am I dear.

We're not living in a nanny state you know...

(

joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:19, archived)

Someone who stays awake long enough to start hallucinating

(

Bamboo Steamer, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:07, archived)

i did that

I thought I saw death peeing in a bush

(Cyberpope Oh my god!! Somebody put shit in my pants!!!!!!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:12, archived)

Me too

although I didn't see death peeing in a bush, but lots of other mad things.

I think its this:- hypnagogic hallucinations

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogic_hallucination

(

Smithlick is often seen at the bottom of threads, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:29, archived)

A handsome Northern devil

singing silly songs

(

DogHorse plop, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:07, archived)

you!

more new songs and less parodies of old songs.

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:09, archived)

I'm working on a couple

RIGHT NOW!
Also, the fillum director chappie in the states for whom I'm doing a soundtrack has done a video to Cell Block B, which will be up soon.

(

DogHorse plop, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:10, archived)

404 :(

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:15, archived)

Fixed.

Not the vid yet, though

(

DogHorse plop, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:17, archived)

lovely hahaha :)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:19, archived)

haha...

I love the plaster's radio bit!!

(

benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:34, archived)

I'm glad they shot Menezes

They should dig him up and shoot him again

(

the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

* photos of you wearing every single pair of pants you own all at the same time

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:08, archived)

I'm liking it

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:09, archived)

I'd do that!

(

diablo290582 Professional.....something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:16, archived)

So would I - but it would be a hell of a challenge

since I own over 200 pairs

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:18, archived)

A pants obsessed polar bear.

Awww, that sounds much cuter than I'm sure it is.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:19, archived)

:)))

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:24, archived)

Pants face-off. Me & DixonBawls!

(

diablo290582 Professional.....something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:24, archived)

Pants-off, face?

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:27, archived)

Mind. Gutter. Out.

:o)

(

diablo290582 Professional.....something., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:29, archived)

Badgers with bombs

(

weekendsession, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:09, archived)

random video / pictures of stuff done

with common objects from Tescos

(

hmmm cheese, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:09, archived)

That's SO random!

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:10, archived)

Our local Tesc

has the WALL OF TESCO VALUE. It's a blue-and-white paradise.

(

DogHorse plop, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:24, archived)

That Spray elastaplast stuff

www.travelpharm.com/index.cfm/malaria/Products.Details/product_id/426/subject/elastoplast_spray_plaster_325ml

It sounds ace
Can someone mummify a person with it?

(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:11, archived)

Thats a worthwhile suggestion.

(

Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)

it is

and we suggested it a month ago :(

(

rob, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:16, archived)

The effects of different aphrodisiacs

on children

(

JimmerUK Everyone's Favourite Jim, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:12, archived)

children with no reproductive organs

(

Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)

I like it!

Although if the whole sex/children thing is a little too unsavoury, how about the after effects of force-feeding 18 packets of smarties, 3 2litre bottles of coke, and 7 packets of haribo down a small child. I can only assume the ensuing video would be crammed full of hilarity.

(

JimmerUK Everyone's Favourite Jim, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:17, archived)

fun for old people

- A stannah stair lift that does a loop-the-loop.
- Joke bendy walking sticks.
- 'Electric fence' style had rails on stairs.

(Craig [Est. 1985], Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:12, archived)

JML Kevlar Oven Gloves

Can they withstand bullets

(Cyberpope Oh my god!! Somebody put shit in my pants!!!!!!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)

Shitscene.co.uk

make a site where you take photos of your shite and you get clues to reveal what in shitting crikey you'd eaten to produce that hideous mess. (with lots of advertising)

(

mushybees NEBUSHI SHANGHUNG!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)

erm

test out herbal high type products and video any effects

make giant vegtable pakora using a big fryer

go to local crazy golf courses and rate them on crazyness

(

connor, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:14, archived)

um...

*Dr. Dyxlexia's Stalin Show (see links board for latest episode and commentary)*
*unsolicited public art and how to make it*
*and this *

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:18, archived)

yeah

you could check out the stalin show rob

www.youtube.com/profile?user=SALINSHOW3

(

connor, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:24, archived)

* Michael Winner being wrapped in Sellotape and cheesegrated to death from the toes upwards in a bath of lemon juice.

* Chris Moyles having his arms ripped off, stuck in his ears and being used as a pogo stick

* Monkey tennis?

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:22, archived)

...

A game where cats run at you from all directions, intent on sitting on your lap and covering you with fur.

Use your best impersonation of a hiss or a growl to deter them from covering your clothes in a nice layer of hair.

(

wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:32, archived)

that would be great - coupled with a microphone interface

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:41, archived)

I was thinking

left-click for hiss, right-click for growl

And you'd level up on your impersonations as the levels increased.

(

wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:53, archived)

Our solutions to the middle eastern crisis

(I R Advertiser How can you live like this you're out of control?, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 13:31, archived)