b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Message 9383596

# I propose to shun the system of govenment
and we put our faith in.... 'The Wheel of Woo'
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:29, archived)
# hi cockalorum! i like this
Also: GRRRRRRR!
Yesterday a bloke came to fix my shower after it exploded [with exciting sparks and everything] last week. During his visit, he asked to use the loo, which was fine by me, at the time.
but the fucking bastard has BLOCKED it!
the water drains out eventually, so it's flushable but it's obviously blocked by horrendous workmanpoo and i have no idea what to do about it. I really can't afford to hire a bloke to come fix it.
*angers* stupid workmanbloke! i gave you a lovely cup of tea and a biscuit and this is how you repay me???
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:30, archived)
# the system works
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:31, archived)
# Did you Woo a Woo?
Or does it not count if the Woo is a new thread?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:33, archived)
# Is that like
crossing the streams?
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:35, archived)
# did somebody just say wooawoo?
i distinctly heard someone say wooawoo
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:35, archived)
# oh noes!
to the bunker!
*edits*
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:35, archived)
# a shitload of boiling water down the toilet
will do the trick
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:36, archived)
# i remember i had a blocked sink once
the plunger was doing nothing, so in a last-ditch effort to dodge the horror of removing pipes, i poured half a bottle of bleach down it. slowly it drained, slowly slowly. no sign of it doing anything at all helpful. i left it for five minuets (yes, minuets) and when i returned it had all drained. "ok," i thought. i'll try hot water instead." boiled up a kettleful, poured it down the sink and AAAARGH CHLORINE GAS!

cue me fumbling urgently with the lock on the kitchen door, breath held and eyes itching, desperate to escape and ventilate a terrifyingly-toxic kitchen

sometimes, i'm a bloody idiot
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:41, archived)
# this makes me smile!
but only because of the memory of the smell..
Yes, I too have experienced that!
(I helped save b3ta! Pixieelf got his 1st front pg. when MJ died! Double Whammy!, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:50, archived)
# be REALLY careful if you do that... the toilet bowl can crack if you try it.
and that isn't a funny thing to happen.
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:47, archived)
# only if it's not a plastic toilet
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:48, archived)
# a plastic toilet?
that's a potty idea
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:54, archived)
# Caustic soda might work?
It could render the scat fats into soap and slide through freely, or make it smell worse.
(Arsenic, Fri 13 Jul, 2:73 and, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:54, archived)
# I always use caustic soda for unblockerationisms
and it always works with sinks.
According to the instructions, you have to first put in the caustic soda and then add water.
Seeing that there is water in the loo all the time, I think this water might have to be removed first.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Nah, you'll just have to throw more of it in there.
It's got to be full to flow to the log jam. Maybe add a pile of NaOH then stir and add more water to make it go down.
I like this big communal effort, any less amusing a job and it'd be all www.whatareweyourbitchesofsomesort.eh?
(Arsenic, Fri 13 Jul, 2:73 and, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 13:26, archived)
# remind me never to eat your biscuits
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:36, archived)
# hahahahaha tealol
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# pfft!
they were chocolate hobnobs too, none of your cheap biscuit crap.
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:38, archived)
# bicarbonate of soda and lemon juice, liberal amounts thereupon.
(don't do that, for fuck sake. Try some biological washing powder- cover the poo in it and wait half an hour, the enzymes might break it down a bit).
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# workman poo is resistant to enzymes
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:38, archived)
# oooh, good idea.
i'm gonna see if the corner shop has any drain unblocker, i doubt it, but it's worth a look.
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:39, archived)
# Use a flexible tube to push it trough....
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# i sadly have tubelack
and i don't really think i could ask the neighbours if i could borrow their garden hose to shove workmanshit out of my blocked toilet...
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:41, archived)
# Blummin working classes.
Invite him back and have him shot.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# 'horrendous workmanpoo'
hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# complain to his boss
then get the loo fixed and send them the bill. if the workman says he didn't do it, tell him he's full of shit.
although, obviously, not as full as he was before...
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# haha
this is increasingly becoming the best option.
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:43, archived)
# they're not supposed to use your loo
at least, i don't think so. the one who did my shower was here a week and had a piss every morning. after the second time, i had to ask him if anyone had ever explained the concept of flushing to him.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:45, archived)
# well, he did ask
which i thought was polite. and really, how can you say 'no' to such a simple thing?
but now i'm regretting saying yes!
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:52, archived)
# they save them up, these u-bend assassins
risking severe constipation just for the pleasure of flooding your bathroom with tradesman's effluence.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:54, archived)
# Have another dump on top of it and flush it a few times
it wiil all then spill out the top on to our floor, thus taking away the mucky need to put your hand down the loo.
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:40, archived)
# ew. ew. ew.
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:51, archived)
# maybe there's something else clogging it?
did you recently notice a distinct lack of cat or guinea pig?
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:41, archived)
# I once had to wrestle a half defrosted dead guinea pig out of the mouth of a boxer dog.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:42, archived)
# O_o
you and your weird fetishes...
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:47, archived)
# No, it was to feed a python. It'd been put on the radiator to defrost.
(that wasn't my idea, I should point out)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:48, archived)
# "feed a python", I gotta remember that one
;P
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:50, archived)
# Get a dalek to unblock it for you with their plunger
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:41, archived)
# dynamite
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:43, archived)
# ^
or if that fails, C4
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:45, archived)
# FORK IT!
ALSO: there is a workman in my house right now who just used the toilet... lets hope he didn't do a poo :(
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:47, archived)
# he's probably having a wank
on YOUR time
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:59, archived)
# *sigh*
If the water slowly drains past: great! You can keep flushing it and eventually it may slowly wash away & break up & clear itself. (Don't put anything else in until it has!). This is the easiest.

Another safe approach is to use a plunger -- rubber bell on a stick. The aim here is to move the column of water back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, slowly washing away bits of the blockage until it's small enough to go down. You need to be persistent but it's often very effective, and it's safe.

Keep at it, and you may solve it.

If that still doesn't work, you're probably looking at either drain-unblocker chemicals (never tried them), or the professional solution: a flexible 'auger' -- never tried that either. You can buy them, but it's probably better to get a professional to do it. I wouldn't bother to try reaching in with your hand -- the blockage will be further down than you can reach.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:56, archived)
# you win 'best, clearest and least-condescending advice'
have this invisible owl:






















(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:57, archived)
# An invisible owl??!! Thank you!
I shall treasure it and call it...
Erddig
*feeds invisible mice*
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 13:15, archived)
# thank you so much!
i keep flushing it whenever the water has drained away from the last time.
it seems to be draining faster now, though that could just be wishful thinking..
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 13:04, archived)
# Draining faster is definitely a good sign. Hopefully you'll be back to lavatorial perfection soon.
If not, say if careless workmanbloke actually dropped something inorganic in there -- like a bit of exploded shower, for instance -- then it may remain stuck on some ledge etc in the pipe. So watch out for it blocking again and if so, try a rubber plunger: it's very effective 'cos it doesn't just push things down the pipe, it also pulls things back *up* the pipe, which can set them free.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 13:22, archived)
# The next will piss down the sink and block that,
then you'll have to get another who will probably have bulimia and he throw up down your bath,
the next will block your gutters with psoriasis scales before finally you'll have to either rent the A-Team or swallow a horse.

I speak from experience.


Oh and woo to the woo!!!
(I helped save b3ta! @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Get a big bucket of water
and pour it down really quickly.
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 13:26, archived)
# Jab the poo with an unravelled wire coathanger
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:12, archived)
# Needs more Red Snapper (Very tasty!)
Wheel... Of... Fish!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:31, archived)
# Various versions are in the pipeline
covering CDC, fish and all Cock Tuesday events.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:32, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KezvwARhBIc
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:37, archived)
# Am I having a seizure?
or is that real?
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:40, archived)
# Find it, watch it. Enjoy it.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0098546/
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:41, archived)
# Wheel of Fail. I have 4 variants (I always meant to do more)

(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:39, archived)
# Ohh
lovely!
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:41, archived)
# rape me next
There is money in my pocket too.
(waxdart hello., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:31, archived)
# You have MAGIC POCKETS™!!!eleventy!
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:32, archived)
# hahahhaha, I dug that game out recently... classic bitmap bros platformning :D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:48, archived)
# great
great game,
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:58, archived)
# yay!
its Leslie, not seen him in ages
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:31, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/7928938
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:32, archived)
# Your life is far more exciting than mine
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:34, archived)
# excellent
Leslie's mistake is that he's taken it all too seriously, he should take a leaf out of Russell Brand's book and use his deviancy for a moderately successful career in stand-up comedy
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:36, archived)
# H aha ha!
Fucking rapists!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:32, archived)
# He's a one!
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:33, archived)
# that show was shit
it was always either a scot or a bloke that won.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:38, archived)
# that's because women and the English are rubbish
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:39, archived)
# i would tear your arsehole out for that remark
if i was dumb enough to take the bait ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:46, archived)
# \o/
I have to say I felt slightly uncomfortable typing it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:47, archived)
# that's because the blatant lie
pricked your conscience.
either that, or i'm scarier than i thought i was
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:52, archived)