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# not sure why I spent the last hour reading
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:47, archived)
# "Ever since Robert Manuel left,
standards have risen exponentially."

:)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:48, archived)
# gah
spell my name right.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:50, archived)
# Sorry
bet that pisses you off when people spell it like that :)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:53, archived)
# makes me furious
I'm going to hunt you down and cut off your hands.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:54, archived)
# Thanks mate
they're getting in the way anyway.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:57, archived)
# Where can I get
a copy of the Robert Manual?

*edit - now this just looks stoopid. I'm leaving it*
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:52, archived)
# From your local stockist
of Hayes manuals :)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:53, archived)
# I wonder how
well rob would hold up to a 'complete stripdown and rebuild'...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:03, archived)
# I've been looking for a photo of a
Hayes manual cover to potatoshop into a "Hayes Robert Manual", but I can't find one anywhere... arse!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:07, archived)
# don't you mean Haynes?

hoist by your own Mr Pedantic
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:08, archived)
# Ahh fuck
thats why i can't find a manual! Stupid old me!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:10, archived)
# I thought
his name was Dennis.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:54, archived)
# no
that's pep.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:55, archived)
# I like the fact that Chris Morris is in charge of English
and the children's spiritual, moral. social and cultural development
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:00, archived)
# very poor in information technology
maybe I should run b3ta lessons there.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:03, archived)
# b3ta lessons in schools...
For the good of all humankind, surely this has to happen?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 12:08, archived)
# standards are high!
5 front page messages all visible on one page. (and one of them's mine).
wooyay for today.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:47, archived)
# Boring Brother 3
Next time I should be in charge of the format of the show.

The first thing I would do is scrap the rule that they can't talk about nominations. We want plotting, scheming and back-stabbing.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:40, archived)
# And they should be allowed
to stab each other with knives.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:43, archived)
# whats stopping them now?
?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:44, archived)
# The
law?

OK, they should all be given methamphetamine to encourage erratic violent behaviour.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:46, archived)
# surely
that should be 'allowed to stab Jade with knives*'....?

*or in fact any kitchen or garden implement
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:45, archived)
# i need to mention
that the decapitated head found in basingstoke was in fact found 100yrd from my flat, and i know the guy that has 'alledegdly' done it...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:46, archived)
# really?
are you scared?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:48, archived)
# no!
i say good morning to him most mornings at the bus stop (as we used to work together as well), obviously i don't now as he has supposed to have done a runner to NY...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:50, archived)
# They should've just
bombed the auditions and been done with it. 170,000 less attention seeking wankers in the country.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:45, archived)
# blood brother?
i'd watch.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:45, archived)
# At least there should be
some interactive features for digital subscribers.

"Press the red button now throw a toaster into the pool."
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:53, archived)
# Now that
I would pay cash money for.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:55, archived)
# AND
they should be allowed to swear as much as they like...it's boring watching it and all we hear is birds singing...:-(
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:43, archived)
# i don't know....
it's some times better than hearing what they have to say!!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:45, archived)
# The
live feed to PC was better, but it's gone now.

There should be more cameras that you can switch between at will. At least 10.

And if they added a PIN access like for box office, they wouldn't have to censor it.

Rumours are that they're not censoring out the rude bits but are blocking them so they can put them in a BIG BROTHER RAW type video with all the juicy/funny/rude bits in so they can sell it later.

There sure as hell aren't any juicy/funny/rude bits in it now!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:49, archived)
# It's
also if they're saying anything that could be libelous, or copyrighted(not allowed guitars this time I think). They really have excelled in picking some proper fuckwits this time though, you'd think out of 170,000 they could have got some folk who're at least a bit funny.
I'll go for the Battle Royale option. And get Beat Takeshi to finish off the winner with his usual aplomb.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:57, archived)
# big battle royale
they should each be given a different weapon, and if more than one of them is alive after ten weeks they all get killed.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:46, archived)
# Feeling immensely juvenile today.

Gawd. Sorry.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:37, archived)
# Yay
For juvenility....
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:40, archived)
# I'm ASHAMED of you!
You filthy man! What were you doing searching Google for "big boobs", dammit!
...there'll be trouble for this, mate.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:40, archived)
# Got them from a joke shop site.
I searched google for various permutations of comedy/joke/humour + boobs/breasts and got nowt. Worrying really. No pictures of breasts anywhere on the entire interweb, apparently.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:42, archived)
# oh yes
indeedy.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:40, archived)
# HAHahahaha!!
I like muchly muchos!! yay!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:46, archived)
# Can I do a quick spazz
for B3TV now available for daytime viewers.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:33, archived)
# dont think it really counts
as a spaz if its just a little linky-poo.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:37, archived)
# Please
do.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:40, archived)
# "Bigger shoe, mate?"
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:28, archived)
# hahahahahahahaha
excellent!!! woo!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:38, archived)
# Cheers!!
I'll see YOU at the piss-up.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:40, archived)
# cool!!!!
any other blackpoolians coming down with you?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:44, archived)
# Dunno?
Witty has just bought a car.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:48, archived)
# Flyaaaaaaah !
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:23, archived)
# WOOOOOOOO!
That is a marvelous flyer, that is! Go you!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:25, archived)
# the strongroom bar
Is down a bit of an alley btw for those that dont know.
nice flier btw.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:27, archived)
# is there another piss up as well?
although i'm sure i won't be able to make any b3ta piss ups ever ever ever.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:27, archived)
# Birthday bash
early July.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:28, archived)
# likey
muchos nicey :)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:29, archived)
# Hehe.
Imagine you'd never heard of b3ta and you saw that...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:30, archived)
# Is the closest
underground 'Old Street'?
does anyone know what line thats on, as myself and MrBongo have to travel from Basingstoke - hence we arrive in Londres at Waterloo...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:32, archived)
# its the northern line
Bank branch
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:33, archived)
# :-)
cheers!!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:35, archived)
# Northern Line
:)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:34, archived)
# :-)
and cheers again!!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:35, archived)
# Mr.Pedantic says......
Unofficial is one 'N'.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:37, archived)
# fuck it.
I was so pissed last night, the word was looking odder and odder, so I just left it without checking. Silly billy!

er...it's a 'feature' :)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:42, archived)
# it came in a dream...
and left in a bucket.

(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:22, archived)
# Love it
Could have done with a picy of the infamous glass cock though...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:25, archived)
# do you think?
hmmm...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:42, archived)
# the glass cock
is probably found as an overcomplicated, although apparently simplified diagram with a mulifucking confusing ledgend by the side of it on pg. 02-15-654. whilst pointing out the probabilty the theriuoms which are ultimatly important to the universe [both macro & micro] being are incoded within the images found here at b3ta but modern science has yet to find a way to prise its secrets form "the FeAR"

(btw, love the introduction by bit)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:44, archived)
# wondering
if anyone'd notice that :)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:50, archived)
# Spent the weekend on the piss with this guy....
Absolute nutter! Do you know him? Everybody calls him 'Fezchimp'?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:19, archived)
# Thats the bastard
who stole my shoe!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:20, archived)
# SHOES? WHERE?

...oh.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:36, archived)
# reminds me
of bush for some reason...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:20, archived)
# Lunch time....
I'm off to see the burst water main on Muir Street that is causing traffic chaos aparently......

They announced it on the news on Radio One when I was driving into work.....

Which is kinda cool... Coz Hamilton is titchy tiny...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:18, archived)
# I live
in muir st.
The burst water main has flooded my kitchen and now I have a plague of whales.



/bandwagon
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:24, archived)
# Tooooooooooot
On my thistle whistle....

[ Family ness in a new window ]

Ah, happy memories
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:13, archived)
# yay
family ness? i remember that all too well.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:15, archived)
# you can rock-a-choo
ker-rock-a-choo can go to timbucktoo, but you'll never find a nessie in the zoo.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:15, archived)
# Ahh Ferocious Ness
he was a star. Thanks for that.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:19, archived)
# oh well
It started out ok.
clicky
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)
# voice over!
please!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:14, archived)
# k
Later though as Im not shouting "pie" a lot while at work.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:16, archived)
# Oh go on
Shout "PIE!!" while at work! You know you want to!

If anyone asks, just explain that you cannot hummus :)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:18, archived)
# no
well... maybe later
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:21, archived)
# that was really nice, Mr weebl
I really hope to see more of weebl an' Bob, they are fantastic!!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:28, archived)
# I love the bit where
** ***** ****** ** ****** ****

Edit: Sorry about the spoiler
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:18, archived)
# woo
spoiler alert!!!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:33, archived)
# genius
-
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:26, archived)
# Woo!
PIE!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:30, archived)
# That is so funny
and yes, please shout pie.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:42, archived)
# Hehe
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:50, archived)
# Huffed...
I just went to the Big Brother website to see if I could catch one of them taking a dump......

And to my horror I found out you have to pay to watch em defecate....

Which in my opinion just isn't cricket.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:05, archived)
# but it is
business
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:06, archived)
# Pay per poo....
They should have at least one cam... as a teaser...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:07, archived)
# everything should be free
and you shouldn't be paid for working either ...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:09, archived)
# Sounds good to me
you have my vote
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:09, archived)
# huzzah!
sorry. just being a contrary sod.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)
# I wonder how many summers
we are going to have to endure with people going on about the dull happenings in the Big Brother house before the awful bollocks is axed? Hmm?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:08, archived)
# havn't c4 bought rights to it for about 5 years?
v. bored of it. I've seen the arc. There's no new suprises. There's nothing new to learn.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:10, archived)
# it is dull
but kate... mmmmm
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)
# I'm hoping for a Noels House Party style axing
Half-way through, the controller of channel 4 just goes "Oh, for fucks sake, make it STOP!"
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)
# you obviously don't watch
as the current tension between Alex and every-other-fucker is very interesting.

Watch for the people dynamics not the 'love me, love me, make me a TV star' antics.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)
# No.
Its dull. I watched some of it last night because the remote for my TV card in the pooter is busted and I couldn't be arsed to get up and change the channel. Its dull. End of.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:12, archived)
# no
I like the petty squabbles and dynamics.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:16, archived)
# Are you called
Sharon?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:17, archived)
# i'm
aware how trashy it is.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:20, archived)
# having seen what happens to the people when they leave
I find the show offensively exploitative. I recommend reading teh article in the new statesmen by Penny/towel/teacher woman.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:20, archived)
# it is
they're all there 'cos they want to be famous, and as everyone bright enough not to have applied knows, BB is a really good way to ensure you'll get fucked over and forgotten about with indecent haste.
AND it's REALLY BORING.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:35, archived)
# I await a
violent happening in that house... I want some fucker to smuggle in a gun.
A carpetbombing would also be good.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:25, archived)
# Oh yes..
"Dahy fufteen. Sandy has gone bonkahs, and shot awl thu housemaayts with a big gun, and then chopped, fried and eaten thur remains."
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:31, archived)
# if you stare at it long enough, you'll see it...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:02, archived)
# i was
expecting a gif? that would be a good one.....
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:04, archived)
# very nice image
by the way I've just posted your CDs so you should have them in a day or so.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:07, archived)
# yay
you big pile of loveliness.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:08, archived)
# well
it's the first time I've ever been called that :o)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:12, archived)
# Furtive Song
I have written some words for a Furtive song for Koit.
since Furtive seems to be a public property I wondered if anyone had any suggestions for improvement or anthing like that.




Scotland Yard couldn’t catch him.
Nor could the FBI
Interpol were flummoxed
and let him slip right by.
He’s wanted worldwide for his crimes
And his shifty looking stare.
If you see him, don’t approach him
Keep away from Furtive Bear.

He’s a furry fingered fugitive.
A snowy king of crime.
An omnivorous vagabond
A cutpurse most sublime
If you nail it down, he’ll take the nails.
He doesn’t really care.
He appears on all the wanted lists
Look out for Furtive Bear.

He’s wanted worldwide for his crimes
And his shifty looking stare.
If you see him, don’t approach him
Keep away from Furtive Bear.

He’s an Ursine cad of great reknown.
Whose heists defy all sense.
A stealthy footed hairy thief
Whose hoard is now immense.
The planets great detectives
Will never find his lair.
So go and hide your valubles
From the thieving Furtive Bear.

Is he heaven, is he in hell.
He vanishes into the air
He still remains uncaptured
That elusive Furtive Bear.


(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:58, archived)
# That reminds me
of Macavity.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:00, archived)
# That was
the general idea.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:01, archived)
# Just logged in
done - I shall do that one at some stage. Thanks for another submission.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:30, archived)
# WOOOOO!
Thats a marvelous bit of lyric writing! I look forward to this song :))
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:01, archived)
# WOO! YAY!
HUZZAH! HOUPLA! and suchlike. I await the misheard lyrics for this one....
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:03, archived)
# No don't laugh
It's not his fault Scouting for boys
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:56, archived)
# paradox

(i know...it's crap!)
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:54, archived)
# i actually thought it was quite good
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:56, archived)
# i do like those
little chaps!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:04, archived)
# Lumpy in colour!
Woo!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:21, archived)
# I like it !
most entertaining... it there a 2 n 3 as well?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:57, archived)
# Bunnies everywhere
B3ta has warped my mind.

I went to Wales over the weekend and whilst
out walking with my uncle, we saw this rock.



Nobody that I was with could see the bunny...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:49, archived)
# it's a dog
.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:50, archived)
# Or
its a mole lying on his back with his arms behind his head.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:52, archived)
# awww
it is.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:54, archived)
# aghh – its a giant whale
about to eat us all.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:04, archived)
# Is that him
swimming around on the left?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:52, archived)
# that rock's giving you the bird.
Tchoh. Geology these days, no manners. Weren't like that when I were a lad I tell you.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:54, archived)
# I see the bunny!
Woo!
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:56, archived)
# That line
should have made into The Sixth sense.

'I see the bunny'.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:59, archived)
# Remember a few months ago
there was a linky on the front page to a site with a list of celebs and gossip about them?
Anyone got the URL?

Um its not for me...it's for my lady....for a project...um, my dog ate my other copy.
Etc
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:45, archived)
# I remember it
Will you pay me £5 to dig though the archives to search for it?
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:47, archived)
# no?
Ok... Try here.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:48, archived)
# Ah thankyou meester
How about I dance naked around my room and sing Hosannna instead of the fiver?
Worth more in the long term
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:53, archived)
# ok
make sure you video it and turn it into a woo yay gif.
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:55, archived)
# Thank God the jubilee is over...
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 10:43, archived)
# that should be
made into a wooyay gif

but i don't know how so i won't
(, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 11:20, archived)

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