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# Newsletter - call for content
Have you seen anything this week that should be in the newsletter? Stuff you've made, snippets of news, or just things you've found funny.

(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:00, archived)
# I'll reply "threadwaste, where's the pic" to get that out of the way myself
so back to the question: have you seen anything useful for newsletter content?
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:01, archived)
# A saucy painting of bill Clinton in a dress and heels was found in Jeffry Epstein's house
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 18:43, archived)
# "Parsing Bill" by Petrina Ryan-Kleid
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 18:54, archived)
# blimey that's
something
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 18:58, archived)
# Yeah I think I can see something as well
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 23:09, archived)
# I honestly don't think that bothers Bill as much as most others would be.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 20:13, archived)
# The Sun's take on Putin visiting an extreme right wing motorbike club in Crimea
What's the most important thing?
Well his tight trousers of course.

With it being the Sun, he's not even wearing tight trousers.

www.thesun.co.uk/news/9699023/putin-night-wolves-biker-gang-protests-russia-moscow/
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:09, archived)
# I didn't know he was 66
thank you The Sun
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:11, archived)
# Sad to see my Monday morning invention of an alarm clock with a remote teddy bear you squeeze to snooze the alarm has already been invented
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:13, archived)
# Invent one where you have to tear it to pieces to shut it up. Put real guts inside. Seriously.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:36, archived)
# Could get messy if the cat's in bed with me and I grab the wrong thing
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:41, archived)
# :( abandon development
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:57, archived)
# Yiff in hell, etc
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 18:13, archived)
# heated wiper blades are the investment of the day
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:50, archived)
# Oh
genius
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:51, archived)
# Imagine my dispair upon discovering there was already a James Brown alarm clock that went "Heeey, get on upa!"
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:43, archived)
# That would be a great alarm to announce the start of sexy time
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:44, archived)
# Festive, if not dignified.
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 0:30, archived)
# Self-lighting cigarettes were the pub invention of the evening here...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 22:23, archived)
# I am nearly 100% sure I have seen those before
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 0:31, archived)
# After further research, they've been invented numerous times over the last century,
with the same, probably predictable results: lots of broken fags and no-one likes huffing phosphorus...
(, Sun 18 Aug 2019, 20:14, archived)
# Might be worth having a look on reddit, I think they have a few links there.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:34, archived)
# Also, I hear that there's some funny things being written on qotw these days.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 18:07, archived)
# Mediocrity rises to the top on Reddit,
and Twitter is 99% Brexshit noise.

I like a newsletter. The web needs editors.

(And b3ta remains a good one for launching projects - newsletters remain a major source of traffic. No one clicks links on Twitter.)

(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 19:08, archived)
# So don't look at the top :)
Yes Twitter is horrible.

I liked the newsletter when it was predominantly b3ta or b3ta-generated content, those things which made the site unique.
Many of the most active posters here now have social media accounts where they routinely cross-post. A sizable majority of their posts are generic, in the sense that they could be posted almost anywhere online.
While it's great to be outward-looking, formerly it was the inward-facing b3ta 'culture' which overwhelmingly drove this site. If social media has destroyed anything, it's that.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:11, archived)
# lol
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:30, archived)
# I was actually looking at the early B3ta newsletters last night (easy to access if you know how).
I was mostly struck by how many of the links are now dead...some of the content is available via other means (I laughed a lot watching a YT video of Hacker or Spacker), but the supposed permanence of the 'net at the time is starkly highlighted by observing what has been lost in less than two decades...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 22:21, archived)
# Sad, isn't it?
I remember trying to look at some pretty famous old sites on the Wayback Machine, and most of them are broken.

And almost all of Facebook's content will be lost one day. The content is not accessible to archivists, and I can't see Zuckerberg giving a shit about preserving it.



(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 23:05, archived)
# ...tears in rain...
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 0:41, archived)
# everything changes, nothing lasts, turns out the fat guy was right all along
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 3:25, archived)
# lol
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 3:45, archived)
# *coff*"we love the web"...
*coff*no we don't
*coff*yes we do
*coff* no we don't...we fucking hate the web
*coff*the web is great
*coff*fucktheweb*coff*
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 23:43, archived)
# There's this wannabe John McClane from my neck of the woods...
... who thought crawling through a storm drain to "scratch it off his bucket list" was a good idea
www.islandecho.co.uk/man-thought-it-was-the-end-after-getting-stuck-in-15-inch-pipe/
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:05, archived)
# Product idea: a custom bucket with your bucket list printed on stickers stuck to the side.
When you do something from the list, you pull the sticker off and throw it in the bucket.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:10, archived)
# Then at the funeral a makeshift system of pulleys can be used
to make the late owner literally kick it into the crowd wedding bouquet style
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:12, archived)
# Whoever catches the bucket has to fulfill any remaining stickers.

Actually, it should be: whoever gets hit by the bucket. Because no fucker is going to want to catch it.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:13, archived)
# ...starting with the one that led to the previous owner's current condition...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:26, archived)
# ....and the only way to avoid that fate? You're immune if you have a bucket of your own!
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:30, archived)
# ...or catch it on your head...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:34, archived)
# ...a move known as the "Edna".
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:54, archived)
# As in: Edna Bucket
GEDDIT?
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 16:29, archived)
# No...
(, Sat 17 Aug 2019, 21:52, archived)
# This app is a bit genius...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 18:54, archived)
# that is neat
I was just about to download it and hope my location sounded funny and I could post it, then remembered that I don't really want to post my location
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 18:56, archived)
# Papworth Everard?
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 19:09, archived)
# I want to move to rock,paper,scissors
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 19:21, archived)
#
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 19:33, archived)
# :D
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 19:48, archived)
# also:
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 19:35, archived)
# It was a shite idea when it was touted 6+ years ago...
If you've got smartphone connectivity, you've got accurate location data available via GPS or cell tower, not a lookup in some proprietary, closed-source keyword database on the 'net...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 22:47, archived)
# Emojis in text
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:13, archived)
# ¯\(โ—‰โ€ฟโ—‰)/¯
nice
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:15, archived)
# This makes me sad [insert relevant pictoral representation]
These are called emoticons and the world was a better place when you could express emotions via a clever combination of characters from various writing systems of the world (or, personally, pure ASCII)...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 22:59, archived)
# A guide on how to develop a separate consciousness in your own head
www.tulpa.info/what-is-a-tulpa/

There are many people I would not trust with a secret person only they can talk to
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 22:33, archived)
# What are we, your content bitc..?
Ah, ...oh...

As you were.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 23:03, archived)
# yes you are
Well I thought I'd at least try and involve you lot coz I do miss stuff
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 23:06, archived)
# I thought of some funny jokes based on puns on reggae singers' names.
Let me know if you're interested, or I'll just perform them at the Fringe instead.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 23:19, archived)
# Bob moley and the weasels
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 9:35, archived)
[challenge entry] Nobodys Dairy
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 14:04, archived)
# This amused me greatly (mostly as I have the 12" single)
Therefore I have clicked "I like this"
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 18:26, archived)
[challenge entry] Open if you dare
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:06, archived)
# How did you get into my kitchen drawer?
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:30, archived)
#
Stretched measuring tape and 46 dead AA batteries. And plastic things that are actually ratchet screwdriver fruit.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:34, archived)
# i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:17, archived)
# Yep that looks strangely familar
Plan to deal with it sometime never.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:38, archived)
# Oh shit, I have entire rooms like this...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 16:41, archived)
#

(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 11:50, archived)
#
haha brilliant
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 12:17, archived)
# Arf
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 12:25, archived)
#
Not enough hundreds and thousands.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 12:46, archived)
#
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:30, archived)
# get your ass to mars
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:48, archived)
# She featured as a recent chestfaces. Still would.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 15:30, archived)
# Have you done
a Jed Maxwell chestface yet? Might work.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 15:48, archived)
# oh god
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:58, archived)
# pissholes in the snow
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 12:51, archived)
#
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:12, archived)
# Heheh
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:15, archived)
#
Burst out laughing at that
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:21, archived)
# perfect
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 19:11, archived)
# Sorry, but who is that?
Edit: apart from Mia Farrow.
Another Edit: No worries, next front page from Monkeon has told me.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 21:55, archived)
#
mitchellslawncorp.com/simon-cowell-plastic-surgery-before-and-after/

Edit: actually, probably not a great idea to hotlink to a spam website...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:32, archived)
[challenge entry] pun-proof im certain
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:30, archived)
# You're correct....it's all alien to me... :/
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:33, archived)
# just a bunch of bleeps and bloops to me as well
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:37, archived)
# Maybe if you keep listening, you'll dish something out.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:37, archived)
# I just feel that I'm on a different frequency
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:42, archived)
# I'm just tuning you guys out, LOL
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:51, archived)
# That reply is a clear signal that you want attention.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 1:03, archived)
# I do enjoy a positive reception here
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 1:09, archived)
# I enjoy the modulation of your tone
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 1:26, archived)
# These puns are becoming very static lately.
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 1:29, archived)
# like some vital force is being drained
Are chi bo-rne out so quickly?
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 8:38, archived)
# meh a travelling large primate with a fondness for snow turning up unexpectedly in Alaska would sort that out
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 8:41, archived)
[challenge entry] heh!
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:27, archived)
# good hook
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 14:30, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:01, archived)
# tsk, typical!
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:02, archived)
# ^typical reply
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:34, archived)
# His codpiece is too small to be functional, purely for decoration
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:35, archived)
# ^typical joke on b3ta
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:56, archived)
# Is this the one where he has sex with his sister?
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:51, archived)
# ^typical 'PedroHin'
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:57, archived)
[challenge entry] She said she wanted to make sweet music but he knew it would be murder getting her to return it
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:48, archived)
# Bing Bong
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:50, archived)
# Ding Dong
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:50, archived)
# Klingon
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:53, archived)
# Ariston
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:55, archived)
# and on, and on
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:56, archived)
# damn you beat me to it
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:57, archived)
# Nice work though
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 22:01, archived)
# DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN
:(
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 23:26, archived)
# Yeah just saw that - some testing crap that leaked
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 23:28, archived)
# Who's being probed??
You dirty old bollocks
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 23:35, archived)
#
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 23:36, archived)
# It's probably "flag of colour" nowadays, personal computer gone mad
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 23:40, archived)
[challenge entry] thanks!
The King meanwhile had to find some way of paying off all those city damages


Click for bigger (258 kb)

(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:02, archived)
# Ding Dong
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:13, archived)
# Wham a lama
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:41, archived)
# The beat don't stop till the break o dawn
ooh im too late arn't i
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:25, archived)
# Never too late for me
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:52, archived)
# Neva eva
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 22:24, archived)
# I'd like to Veronica her Lake.
;P
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:25, archived)
# you'd be Preston then
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 8:42, archived)
[challenge entry] Carry On Shining

(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 15:08, archived)
[challenge entry] Also

(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 15:10, archived)
# Walter Rees-Mogg. I suck at titles.
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 11:55, archived)
# Brexit Bad? Breaking Cad?
Fuck knows.
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 12:13, archived)
# “I am the danger.”
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 13:10, archived)
# Shakin' Stephen
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 11:08, archived)
# Well, I liked it!


(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 18:37, archived)
[challenge entry] Imagining a double feature with Bin Day
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 9:28, archived)
# How many Friends does it take to change a lightbulb?
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 9:53, archived)
# "The One with the Bulb"
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 18:01, archived)
# When is it on?
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 11:05, archived)
# Who's bright idea?
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 11:52, archived)
# He's considering wether it will fit up his bum isnt he
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 12:42, archived)
# The wrinkled nose suggests it's already been there
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 12:58, archived)
# De-ris, le ris plus comme, ai-je raison?
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 23:54, archived)
# Mange tout
est cette horreur?

and something about hovercrafts and eels?
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 0:04, archived)
# OEUF!
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 0:06, archived)
# DID HAPPEN!
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 0:21, archived)
# o/
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 2:07, archived)
# I like this!
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 15:28, archived)
# I LIKE YOU!!!
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 21:49, archived)
[challenge entry] They're running out of days for romcom titles
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 22:38, archived)
# Hahah.
I like this :)
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 22:44, archived)
# It's wheelie good!
Or : Bin dun!
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 23:06, archived)
# I'd go as far as saying fantrashtic
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 23:16, archived)
# The ending was rubbish
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 2:31, archived)
# It's all just recycled garbage.
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 3:46, archived)
# An obvious throwaway film from the director
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 4:56, archived)
# If the director reads this he'll feel really put out. Early in the morning.
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 5:39, archived)
# Nothing the bin men won't refuse.
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 6:14, archived)
# Not saying the script was crowdsourced but even the local Yodel courier put something into it
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 7:50, archived)
# If they can pick up some new ideas, that would be great....otherwise kick it to the curb.
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 11:50, archived)
# The writer for the famous "food waste disaster" scene spilled the beans
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 13:01, archived)
# Stay about!
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 22:55, archived)
# ‘I Love Horses!’
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 23:10, archived)
#

(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 23:23, archived)
# ...I meant..........oh never mind....
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 0:23, archived)
#

(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 0:43, archived)
#
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 1:47, archived)
#
'all the single horses,'
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 2:09, archived)
#
edit: Now that it's an FP tag-along....I should've done a better job on this...meh....hindsight...
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:31, archived)
# :D
Now I want to see Matthew Broderick on a saddle too
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 2:58, archived)
#
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 0:29, archived)
# {:-D
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 14:32, archived)
# Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar
and the barman says "why the long face"
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:30, archived)
# She'll stop posting here if you're not careful
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:34, archived)
# Oh I think we banned her for threadrushing
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:36, archived)
# I thought she'd been quiet
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:39, archived)
# getting about 5 emails a week demanding an unban
but you know, fuck it
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:42, archived)
# I'll go and talk to her lawyers
She never stops banging on our doors
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:43, archived)
# lol
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 17:33, archived)
# Woud watch
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 9:18, archived)
[challenge entry] Yippee Kai yay, my child...

(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 19:34, archived)
# I need to know, did he order a pizza when he was holed up in Nakatomi Plaza?
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 22:45, archived)
# what ho!
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 19:05, archived)
# *awards medal for fluff*
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 20:52, archived)
# You're just pandaing to Prodge
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 21:00, archived)
# wouldn't be bamboozled by his nice words, eh
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 23:59, archived)
# I can't bear these puns.
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 0:24, archived)
# Not everything is as black and white as it seems
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 5:40, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 16:27, archived)
# Well I think this is great
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 15:30, archived)
[challenge entry] War Stars!

(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 12:27, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 13:09, archived)
# Haha
(, Wed 14 Aug 2019, 8:49, archived)
# TL;DR
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 4:51, archived)
#
Your article reflects the problem people care about. Articles that provide timely information reflect multidimensional views from many perspectives. I look forward to reading quality articles that contain timely information from you. Thank you for sharing this great information.

word games
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:44, archived)
# This is an adaptation I definitely support :)
Beautifully done too
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 22:45, archived)
# this is great
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 1:31, archived)
# Totally grape
(, Thu 15 Aug 2019, 10:28, archived)
# Jared Leto to play Brian "off his box" Cox
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 12:22, archived)
# it started off slow, but it can only get better
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 13:32, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Tue 13 Aug 2019, 12:12, archived)

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