Twins..
Who I went to school with achieved their childhood ambitions. During one of those form periods which are meant to aid your personal development but were spent thrwoing shit about, bullying, talking football tactics etc we were going through a careers booklet, noting the various careers you could choose, what you needed to do to get there, how much you could earn etc.

These two picked their chosen careers at that moment, aged 12. They looked up who earns the most and worked religiously towards it. Now one is a dentist and the other is a doctor. funnily enough after many years of friendship, drinking and shenanagins with them both, I wouldnt let them near a piece of A4 paper, never mind molars and colons.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:23, Reply)

I wanted to be
Charles Manson

Can't remember what changed my mind
(Jugular, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:19, Reply)

a Van de Graaff generator owner
I always wanted a Van de Graaff generator. The thing that made your hand stand on end in physics class. At 16 after leaving school and a couple of years after having seen a working Van de Graaff generator and the technical aspects of how it really worked a distant memory, me and a friend thought we would re-live our child-hood and make our own Van de Graaff in his bedroom at his Mum's house. We were stoned.

We took a large rubics cube and a small rubics cube, covered them in silver foil and forced 2 glass rods into each of them. We pushed them into a cardboard box so they stood about an inch apart. We took apart the cable from a bedside lamp and attached one wire each to the foil on each rubics cube. We plugged it into the wall.

Nothing happened. There was no static electricity jumping between the two globes as we had seen in class.
We pushed the two rods closer and closer waiting for static. Closer and closer but no spark.
Holding one rod each we then touched them together....
HUGE FLASH. Major Bang! All the lights go out and we're left in the dark. We blew all the fuses.
Lots of screaming from downstairs, lights come back on, we push the apparatus under the bed and friends Mum comes bursting into the room screaming "What the fucking hell are you two doing!?!?!"
As is the teenage way, we deny everything and sit innocently on the bed covering scorch marks and ignoring the lingering smoke. We had huge blots on our eyes for hours because we were about 6 inches from the flash.

Method:
a couple of spliffs
1x large Rubics cube
1x small Rubics cube
tin foil
2x glass rods (or anything non-conducting)
an electrical cord with a plug on the end
an ounce of stupidity

Results:
Blindness and near death.

Conclusion:
get a job in IT support where you get paid for blowing things up.
(twistngo, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:04, Reply)

@ Reverend Fister and all the other unrequieted gentlemen lusters
If you still harbour that ambition to get into Sharon Jones's pants there is a way...

Apply for a job as a reseller at Damart.

My ambition to become a counsellor seems to be way off the mark.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:04, Reply)

Never choose careers that early.
When I was a wee one I was going to be an Airline Pilot (probably for BA) ever since taking my first jet plane flight. So far so good, but in primary school and secondary school they are far too busy squeezing the life and individuality out of you to direct you towards any sort of career path..

Anyway.

We emigrated to the US at the end of my first year of secondary school and we got to take more career aptitude tests on some old teletype thing. Well I still wanted to be an airline pilot with a backup career of "computer systems analyst" which sounded pretty high tech (and well paid).

Eventually graduated and went to university and got a degree in computer science and thus began my career. Started doing systems programming on mainframe computers and managed to make a deft job switch into networking and have been doing that ever since. The pay is good which paid for me to take flying lessons so now I'm a pilot as well (but that's for fun not for $$) so I guess I sort of got what I wanted, just not quite in the form I thought I would.

Apologies for length, it's the cold you know.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:00, Reply)

Confessions of a high-class pro
I was a cheerleader at school and - I'll be honest - I had a bit of a reputation as an easy lay. The truth was that I fucked almost every guy in my year. It wasn't because I wanted attention or because my parents had divorced or anything - it was because I loved cock. I didn't care where I had it, as long as it was hard.

In my careers interview, I told the guy that I wanted a job that used my skills. I listed these as: big, firm tits; long slender legs; a pretty face; a hot ass and a perpetual desire to have sex. After I had swallowed his cum, he suggested that I become a prostitute. Not just any street hooker, but a high-class pro charging $500 a pop. I could choose my clients and get paid for fucking. Great!

First, I had to learn the tricks of the trade. I already had some good techniques, but I paid particular attention on how to please a man and spent a few months fucking for free in an attempt to perfect my blow jobs, hand jobs and positions that tightened my snatch to better milk my clients of cum (and money). In no time, I felt I had reached professional status and took out some ads in high-end magazines.

The rules were simple. I'd first meet the client for a drink (he paid) and then if I liked him, I'd let him have his way for an extortionate fee. It's been a wild few years. I've done bukkake parties, orgies, S+M, you name it... One time, a millionarie paid me to simply lie on his bed naked while he masturbated furiously over me. Another time, I did an entire NBA team - a cock in each hand and one in every orifice. That was goood!

I'm not fussy about age. I once did a fifteen year old boy whose father wanted him to lose his virginity. The kid had a massive wang and I let him do me doggy style. I considered it charity (though his dad paid $1000) I also did the dad in front of a huge plate glass window on the 21st floor. That was exciting.

So, I realised my ambtion. I'm rich enough never to work again and I've more cock than Freddie Mercury.
(frankspencer, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:00, Reply)

Pre-school sex offender thought crime wrongness
At the age of five - spurred on by the thought of the bikini-clad blonde who was my swimming instructor - I had the singular career ambition of spending my life kidnapping and tying up a number of MILFs from our housing estate, forcing them into skimpy bikinis and hiding them behind the bins at the end of our garden.

My plan involved riding up behind the intended victim on my tricycle (I wasn't quite up to two wheels at this stage), grabbing them, and forcing them to do my evil bidding.

Quite how this was to be achieved is beyond me even to this day, but I even went through a "dry run" one day after playgroup, and fell off my trike trying to perfect my 'grab' technique. Bleeding all over the place, I sort of lost interest in the whole idea.

Luckily, I grew up and realised you could see ladies' wobbly parts just by asking them nicely. Otherwise, I'd probably be sharing a room with Peter Sutcliffe by now, getting bummed senseless by the warders.

Clicking on I Like This! will help pay for my therapy.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:52, Reply)

I wanted
to know what Superteds secret word was which turned him from a mere teddy bear into the duderino he was so I could impress my friends at school by also turning into the mighty Superted.

I saw him at Worthing pier one Christmas, God had given me my opportunity! So I asked him. Very sweetly with the nicest smile I could muster. He refused to tell me, under the pretence of security (Blairite in disguise that Superted) Instead I sat on his lap and he tickled my belly, I smiled but left the hint of sadness I felt in my big brown eyes. I got my picture taken. Then sent it to the paedophile unit down at Scotland yard.

And thats why Superted got hauled off the air, without so much as a farewell episode. Cunt was down the scrubs for 24 months, never to work again.

The lesson? Do not slight intelligent but scheming vindictive 7 year olds.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:50, Reply)

me too! me too!
When I was young I, like every second person here, wanted to be an archaeologist. So I became one. It was possibly the worst career choice ever.

Now I teach computer science to ungrateful undergraduates. That sucks too.

When I REALLY grow up I want to be a psychotherapist cos I'm paying those bastards 50 quid a week to sort out the mess in my head caused by my totally unfulfilling life decisions.

[Edited, because I can't spell.]
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:49, Reply)

There were several
When I was a kid, I had several ambitions. To play professional Baseball - but I knew that it would never happen. My dad told me - in one of those wiseman moments - do something you love for fun for a job, the worst thing to do is a job you hate. Well what did a 11 year old me like to do in my free time? Draw. So at that age, i decided I wanted to be an architect (I have an uncle who is one). So flash forward 24 years. I have a B/s in Arch. I have worked for several firms, designed a couple of buildings that are up, and I now have a title for a state agency that has nothing to do with my background, but I do get the chance to do some occassional architectural drawing though. Mainly I process paperwork of various kinds. For a couple of years after 9/11 I wanted to be a policeman, and I actually did take the test and was in the top 1% of the results. But it dawned on me, that my pudgy self was in no condition to be a cop, and i am much safer sitting a desk than in a crappy neighborhood.
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:48, Reply)

Job computer
I also did that thing where you put your details into a computer and it tells you all the things you can be when you grow up. I got the results back with database programmer (everyone got that one) but curiously I also got Afro-Caribbean hairstylist for some unknown reason.

When I was a little lad I wanted to be a cowboy but not in a Brokeback Mountain way. Looking back it wasn't such a bad idea as even in the days of high unemployment in the early 1980's it was a niche as there's not many cowboys in the former manufacturing stronghold that is the West Midlands. By the time of Rednex and Cotton Eye Joe I'd moved on though.

Yee and indeed haw pardners.
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:48, Reply)

Mr Wrong
When I was a little girl I scorned all those fairytales about meeting Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Not for me the hearts and flowers stuff, I craved being treated like shit and meeting a series of players who would take great delight in spinning their tales. And would you believe it, that ambition was well and truly fulfilled!
(angelica666, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:36, Reply)

message in a bottle
I remember back in the days of myself being a moody likkle teenage swine writing down the following then hurling it into the Irish sea in a Budweiser bottle..

'When I am 27, I want to be in love with someone who loves me for who I am. I want to know the secret to life and happyness and be content with my existance and my purpose here'

There was a closet emo in me screaming to get out with hindsight.

Don't ask me why I chose 27 but with 722 days left to go, I'm nowhere fucking near any of it.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:31, Reply)

Dancer...
Not me - daughter.

She's six, loves ballet - talking about what she wants to do when she grows up, I say to her she could always become a professional ballerina. They actually get paid to do ballet, perform in front of audiences and that's their job.

Cracking. She loves the idea. Will pay more attention in ballet class.

In the car later on, all of us. Little voice from the back:

"Mum, I know what I want to be when I grow up!'
"What's that love?"
"Um.. I can't remember the word. One of those girls that dances up on the stage and people give them money"

I got a "look", but we later agreed (after the kids were in bed), that it wasn't such a bad career, and would certainly pay for Uni...
(sminkyminky, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:23, Reply)

My Grandad once asked....
..what I would like to be when I grew up (I was I guess 10 at the time). I replied I wanted to be a lorry driver just like my dad, but he suggested I should maybe get into Electronics or Computers as they paid good money.

Fast forward 6 years, failed entry to the Royal Navy due to lack of experience so take up a YTS with Marconi's in Electronics. Kicked out after 2 years, I then went for a trainee computer operators job, and am now a very well paid freelance IT Consultant.

Still want to drive a lorry mind....
(Waynster James Joyce is fucking my sister!, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:16, Reply)

Red red wine
A mate of mine want to a tough school. They had this 'law of the playground' thing which was called 'box nah tax'. (Needs to be said in a patois style to make sense).
This involved hitting (boxing) items of value out of victim's hands, whereupon ownership was tranferred. This quaint custom continued into the workplace - he remembered blokes in tears as their pay packets had been subject to the above thievery.
His only careers advice? How to fill in a UB40.
(Countryslicker, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:56, Reply)

It's the Archaeologists Life For Me...not.
Condensed from www.stevedix.de/blog/349

1982. Head set awhirl by "Raiders of the Lost Ark" in Lyme Regis Cinema, and a sugar-high from consuming far too many Slush-Puppies for my own good, I decide I want to be an Archaeologist.

Because Archaeology looks fun. Archaeology, as peddled by Steven Spielberg, seems to be one long round of exotic climates, mysterious tombs, ancient puzzles and stuff, with only the occasional breathless pause to write up the whole thing for "Archaeology Today", and, let's be frank, shagging sexy archaeology-student chicks.

Wrong, little archaeologist manqué.

The truth is Archaeology is badly-paid, hard work, 90% of which consists of filling-in applications for grants to study something, which are often rejected by people who are worse-educated but better-paid, and then hard, long, back-breaking work carefully brushing the compacted dirt away from something, just in case it might be an important Roman artifact and not an old bone buried by one of the local dogs. It's a job with many disappointments, such as finding that some amateur treasure-hunter has, a week before you finally get to your planned dig site, gone over it with a magnetometer, dug up a couple of coins and then boasted about it in the pub afterward, so that next day your carefully-planned dig has been turned into a bombsite by treasure-crazed locals. Rarely do you get to uncover a pristine ancient Tomb, often you spend years arguing over the significance of a few potsherds in the letters page of the International Archaeological press, and the only Archaeologists equipped with a bull-whip are very, very strange people indeed, whom it's best not to share a tent with.

So remember, kids. For every one of you that loves "Raiders of the Lost Ark", there's a bitter, twisted archaeologist who HATES SPIELBERG'S GUTS.

Length? Yes, but it was longer in the original Sanskrit.

EDIT : There seems to be more than one of us disappointed Indy fans round here. Class action against Harrison Ford, anyone?
( Stevedix http://www.stevedix.de/blog, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:53, Reply)

Archaeologist
After watching Raiders of the Lost Ark for the 1st time on Xmas day 1984, I decided I wanted to follow in the great Dr Jones' footsteps

It only took the next news story featuring a real-not-glamorous-whip-and-gun-wielding archaeologist for me to realise that archaeology mainly involved:
a)digging around in muddy fields in Suffolk with people who looked like the 'odd men' my mum told me hang around in public toilets
b)lots of maths (something I was,and still am, a complete spazz at)
and definitely did not involve shooting sword whirling Arab maniacs.

I also told the Bishop at my 1st communion that I wanted to be a 'decent human being'
another thing that I soon realised was not only virtually impossible but fucking boring as well.
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:50, Reply)

Moon man
When I was really little I wanted to live on the moon with the Clangers. Then growing up I wanted to just be sat on the moon looking back at earth in a peaceful, chilled out way as I liked solitude. Then The Police released the single Walking on the Moon and I pondered the terrible thought of what would happen if I broke my leg.
I still wouldn't mind either of the above though.
I just find the moon amazing.
And then I discovered 'shrooms:)
(Dellamorte Dellamore Fuck it all, fuck it up, fuck it., Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:44, Reply)

Childhood ambition....
....to get my hands in Sharon Jones' knickers.

Failed miserably.

Click 'I like this' if you too have suffered from unrequited lust.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:43, Reply)

When I grew up...
I always wanted to play a telling part in the dynamic British economy. Public sector would have suited me fine and I quite fancied Evaluation Data Management Officer with the Home Office... But private sector would also have been cool and I looked fondly on opportunities such as Training and Development Officer with a "blue chip company in the M25 corridor".

Then, at a development day for team leaders and managers run by a well known media company, a colleague told me she was attracted to her public relations role with said company because "it was such a great brand". I had an epiphany, right at that moment.

"It's all utter fucking shite," I thought and went to live in a leaky boatshed in County Donegal to play a banjo and masturbate from time to time.
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:25, Reply)

Oh dear
Looking at this question has made me think of all the things I have wanted to be at some stage or another. At various stages in my childhood I have wanted to be..

A top quality cricket player (I have played at both Lords and the Oval though so sort of achieved that, even if I was ten at the time)

A musicial genius (At seventeen I was in a musical collective who performed a live drum and bass version of tubular bells in the O'Neills pub on Holloway road on a friday evening in the late nineties, so that can be ticked too in a manner of speaking)

A journalist (I was in the Hackney gazette once)

Things I havent wanted to be and ended up being include

Being a sausage packer in Leicester (theres a euphanism there kids!)

A warehouse picking and packing monkey working with numpties who had more eyes than IQ points

English.

And what have I ended up doing with my life? Assistant office manager while training to be an accountant. Never saw that one coming if I'm brutally honest.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:12, Reply)

Enfant terrible
When I was just a small boy I only had three things I wanted to be when I got grown up:

1. Onion seller on a bicycle
2. Famous lover of women
3. An artist in a small attic in Paris

By a strange quirk of fate I once lived in an attic with a famous lover (well, I knew her well) while earning my living as a bicycle-mounted onion painter. [Strapline was, if I recall correctly: We render your vegetable in guache or oils - no access too narrow. (loses something in translation)]
(E-mail Zola Son of Che, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 11:00, Reply)

why Clint Eastwood is not, in fact, the hardest man in film.

He threatened to punch out Michael Moore.

This is pretty much like saying "I'm so hard I bet I could take Gary Coleman."
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 10:57, Reply)

Give me the child at seven and I'll give you the man....
When I was young, I had a strong ambition to meet Isla St Clair from the Generation Game. I wanted her to hold me in her arms and for me to rub my willy all over her boobs.

This is no longer my ambition.

However, coincidentally enough, in adulthood I did develop a remarkably similar ambition with regards to Jennifer Aniston.
.
(Ali Bongo 9000 Ali Bongo 9000, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 10:38, Reply)

I went through a brief phase
when I wanted really badly to be a carpenter, mainly so I could make cool little wooden toys. It stemmed from mucking about in my grandad's shed whenever we went round to see him, nailing bits of wood together and sanding things.

It was fine, until someone (possibly my parents) started telling everyone it was because I wanted so much to be like Jesus.

Watermeloning parents.
( St3cks, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 10:34, Reply)

choices
It's funny the choices you make, and what they say about you. I wanted to be:

Han Solo (tough) rather than Luke Skywalker (gay)
HM Murdoch (crazy) rather than Face Man (a bouffant ponce)
James Bond of the books (hard as nails) rather than the film Bond (a preening, risible tart)
Indiana Jones from Raiders rather than from Doom (that stinkin' kid ruined it)
Chevy Chase (witty and smooth) rather than Bill Murray (dour and overrated)
Clint Eastwood (hardest man in film) raher than Gene Hackman (just an actor)

And I always preferred Sam Fox to Linda Lusardi. The latter always looked like someone's mum. Hottest chick of the seventies? Caroline Munro (she flew the Helicopter in The Spy Who Loved Me)
(Fothermucker, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 10:32, Reply)

One other childhood ambition
Was to drive a brown Transit van.

I'm not quite sure why.

Now I'm a 'grown-up' (yeah, right) I've driven a red one and it was crap.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 10:23, Reply)

Representative of the House of Commons
when i was a little girl i really wanted to be in the Royal Navy. I succeded in my ambitions and became Leading Seaman, unfortunately during the course of a recent mission we entered into Iranian waters. Even through our wrongdoing, the Iranian peoples have still treated us well and humanely, which i am and always will be eternally grateful.

Faye Thomas
27/3/07
(harakiri, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 10:22, Reply)

I wanted
To be on knightmare, that awesome game on CITV. Doubt I'm gonna achieve that now.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 10:06, Reply)