I hadn't realised that my dislike for Bono was so well documented, until another b3tan made this for me
beckyjsbx hates Bono

Cheers Coopsweb
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 19:08, 1 reply)

Jeremy Fucking Clarkson
Why doesn't that horse-faced horse's-arse Jeremy Clarkson climb into a Ferrari Cunnilingus and drive at 200mph into a brick fucking wall. Or he could abandon those jeans and put on the nazi uniform so well-suited to his 'weltanschauung,' dowse himself in his beloved petrol and set fire to himself in protest at people who believe in global warming. Or he could strap himself into a Lamborghini Micropenis and drive at top speed with a blindfold on instead of strapping the children of non-tories to the bull-bars of his LandRover Chavcrusher SXi and playing dodgems with Northern oiks. Or, he could just SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
(I really don't like him.)
(fergus the bogeyman Beware of geeks bearing gifs!, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 18:16, 20 replies)

Frank Bruno
Ok then, I actually don't hate you as much as alot of other pre-named celebs, but for fuck sake know your limits.

I went to a nightclub a few years back, well after the "Bruno-Tyson" era and his in-ring abilities of being punched by others was all but a memory. As we were having a few drinkies and insulting the local sluts, the music suddenly dies down and an announcement was made. Big Frank himself was to DJ for our amusements.

I swear to god it sounded like he was still wearing his boxing gloves while trying to mix. I genuinely felt sorry for him, but at the same time I wanted him to stop making that fucking noise from the decks, while waving his free hand like we were all bouncing at Glastonbury.

Give it up, please.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 16:14, 5 replies)

I'll tell you what famous celebrities I hate. That Jimi Hendrix for a start.
During my yoof I used to go on shoots with my uncle who was a director/producer for Pathe News. For those of you too young, Pathe was a newsreel company who made full colour news items which were shown at the cinema. Back then colour TV was very new and not many folk could afford it. I went along to various events, film premieres, royal visits and once to John Lennon's gaff. The one that stands out a mile for me was the time we went to the Isle of Wight festival.

I was sat in this press tent backstage when we were told to go through to the artist's area, a rather large marquee where we sat down and had breakfast with Jimi Hendrix. I was quite musical myself but it was around this point in time I caught the bug which forced me into a career in the rock music industry. He was a really nice bloke. Very keen to ask me questions about what equipment I had and telling me what to aim for in the future and even invited me to his house in that London after the festival. I couldn't believe my luck and was beaming from ear to ear all weekend. Probably as I had my first ever spliff with a couple of hippies behind the stage gates. I saw him again briefly after his set but he was sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish market and in a hurry to get changed. I was so in awe of this guy and was very excited that he had been so kind and keen to help me out. What a fucking diamond geezer.

What a cunt. A few days later the selfish bastard went and karked it. That is why I hate him. That John Lennon also karked it so I hate him a bit too, but I hate him less because he didn't invite me anywhere. I also hate Davina McCall and I hate her the most as she has completely failed to kark it yet. She may slip down my list if she does snuff it in the very near future though.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 6 Feb 2010, 16:03, 4 replies)

Bonno
I fucking hate Bonno.........more than anything
(dr-kill, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 15:39, 4 replies)

Look East
If there is one person I can not stand that is Julie Reinger.

www.bbc.co.uk/lookeast/content/articles/2006/12/26/julie_reinger_feature.shtml

She does the weather on BBC Look East. Reasons are is that she thinks she is IT because she also does the odd report on Inside Out. Well Julie I hate to tell you this.

a) You look like you need a good meal
b) Your just a jumped up local weather presenter stuck in a local TV studio-cupboard in a city full of inbreds ie Norwich
c) All your pointless talk comes out as patronising as a nursery school teacher talking to their class "Yes, it has been a lovely day". I know what the past history of the weather has been like. I happen to have been awake during the day.
d) You can't forecast the weather, you get it all from CEEFAX.

Please leave my screen alone.
(calidris, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 15:33, 1 reply)

There are a few
Jeremy Kyle - Why this psychotic got on TV is a wonder. The way he nicely chats to his "guests" and then within 2 minutes is yelling at them and degrading them angers me to the core. Even now it's getting my blood boiling. It's supposed to be a chat show, one that helps families reconcile their problems. It IS however, a freak show of the highest order where the scum of our society is brought up and paraded infront of us to make us feel better that we aren't them. He quite clearly has no idead about what he's supposed to do as a host so goes back to bullying and shouting.

Piers Morgan - Theres a nice facebook page for him here: www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=2254342948&ref=ts
His face annoys me and his smug, I've done bad but now I'm good routine makes me want to hit him with something heavy and blunt. Possibly a 10kg Spoon.

"Reality" TV stars - They aren't special, they aren't the greatest thing in the world. Their intro video where we have to sit through the, "Well my mum has no legs, one arm and is partially blind so she has given me the strentgh to do this" bilge makes me have to leave the room. Just because you have a sob story doesnt mean you desrve fame or riches. Earn it, everyone else has to.

Carol, that does the BBC breakfast weather. - Honestly don't know what it is about her. maybe it's her cheerful-ness at 7 in the morning but I hate her with a passion and have to change channels when she comes on.

Footballers - All of them. Highly paid, somewhat skilled with a spherical bit of leather/ plastic/ whatever the hell they make them out of. Do they use their riches for good? Say maybe support charities, help others in need? No, its much better to buy lots of flashy cars, get drunk, have sex with your team mates girl and then get the courts to hide it for you.

I think thats it. Sorry to carry on, but it saves my housemates if I rant about the people I hate here.
(Jack the sparrow dodger, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 14:35, 1 reply)

Deep Roy - for those who don't know he's the fuckin oompha Lumpa off Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Don't know what it is about him, but i get extremely pissed off everytime i see him. Which thankfully isn't that often.
(javpanda, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 14:33, 1 reply)

As some have said
hate is quite strong for someone you have never met. I dont
hate Jordan, I just dont get why people want to read about every minutiae of her life. Why do people buy those stupid celebrity magazine where she discusses what she had for tea?
I saw a magazine with her on and the headline was 'My Secret Depression'. Hmmm, secret? In a magazine? My brother said a better headline would be 'My Secret Anal Warts'
( DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 11:15, Reply)

At least Viz is honest enough to say it's not as funny as it used to be
This QOTW is so. Fucking. Dull.
( daikoku has been on a ragga tip since, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 10:45, 3 replies)

Like many others
Jeremy Vine = Daily Mail in audio form.
(Grobie, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 10:24, Reply)

The Superbowl
Sunday night is the end of this NFL season. Ive been a big NFL fan since 85. I love my Buccaneers. Hopefully the Saints will triumph over the Colts, but whoever wins Im hoping for a competetive game, and an enjoyable spectacle. But Im glad the season is over. Why? So I dont need to see Nick "MORON" Halling or hear his ignorant uninformed "opinions" and "anaylsis" of the game. Leave it to people who understand the game. Ill proabably end up watching the BBC coverage.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Oh yeah, I forgot
Paul Merton. When does saying "bicycle" in a suprprised way count as funny. Likewise Reeves & Mortimer. "You wouldnt let it lie".
(kitescreech still here, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 8:07, Reply)

I really can't stand
the concept of just being famous, without actually having done something important. Here in Australia, sports people are labelled heroes, and for what? Heroes are people who have decided that something or someone is more important than their own safety or wellbeing, and acted accordingly.
Heroes are not people who can kick a leather ball, or use any manner of fancy sticks to propell said ball, as impressive as their skills may be they are not fucking heroes. Same goes for entertainers,you know , singers, dancers, actors and other such people. Sure they may be good entertainers, but not heroes. None of them is worth the worship they receive. I don't hate them, but I certainly feel that the sort of person who blindly worships these so called "heroes", is somewhat of a fuckwit.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 5:42, 4 replies)

I hatez thoze catz
They maik fun ov mai dyslexia.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 5:31, Reply)

Not quite on topic . . .
however, there is a celebrity connection in this comment.

Neither I, nor Legless, read the gossip magazines. I may occasionally buy a women's magazine to read film/movie reviews, or look at clothing trends. The "lifestyle" or "true life" stories leave me cold - they get skipped rather quickly. Letters and celebrity news - ditto. I don't really want to know what the A list - Z list do with themselves, and I have a rather cynical view of any story about celebrities as philanthropists (don't get me started on Angelina Jolie and her handbag husband). I must admit even with my selective reading, I now hesitate to buy anything glossy, A4 size with Brad/Angelina/Britney/Oprah/Next Big Thing on the cover.

I have however, the misfortune to spend a lot of time waiting in operating theatre tea rooms, waiting for cases to start. These places abound with donated trashy magazines, from "OK", to "New Idea" to my personal favourite "That's Life" (light reading for pond scum).

My bugbear when leafing through these (at stupid o'clock in an attempt to stay awake), is the continual reference to "friends" or "sources" of said celebrity claiming they are pregnant/divorce is imminent/they're losing too much weight/they need rehab for their drug problem/their spotted outing with generic celebrity 2 is obviously a display of "true love".
It's obvious that 99.9% of the time the "source" is a quotation from the editors who can't think of something interesting to write, and yet there are multitides that *believe* this drivel.
Someone buys this crap; even worse - some believe time and time again, that there are secret "sources/friends/pals/close friends" for each celebrity that have the ear of a maagzine editor and can tip them off about their lives;
I hate the assumption that I (or anyone) would believe such a very bad attempt at journalism - that someone in these places of work assumes we can't see the patterns/formulas in a celebrity report, fromt the false "sources" to the limited vocabulary, the emotive language and the poetic licence used in quotes. Don't get me started on celebrity photos - one week, Miss A is "too fat" - the next, "dangerously thin" . . . a tired strained face or scowl captured by the paparazzi is always attributed to "relaitionship problems," and overindulgence during Christmas for any female 15 - 45 is automatically a "baby bump."

Most of us know how to think and draw conclusions - the popular media seems to have forgetten this.
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Sat 6 Feb 2010, 5:12, 5 replies)

Lewis Hamilton & his dad
Sure he's had one of the most prolific and successful starts to a career in the history of F1 and is no doubt a fierce and determined competitor, but...he's no sportsman.
He's a smug, arrogant, lying, precocious, precious, dangerous, midget twat.
He didn't deserve his title in 2008 and spent a high proportion of it whining about being victimised by the Stewards whilst driving like a mad ejit and running people off the road.
Plus when you throw his dad in to the equation, the smug factor goes off the scale. He's also quite sinister. It's like he's the Sith Lord and Lewis is his apprentice.
While I realise that a high proportion of F1 drivers are rich (or sons of rich) men indulging themselves and it takes a large amount of ego and confidence to make it to the top level of any sport, that doesn't mean that sportsmanship and respect isn't important.
He certainly isn't alone in his ways. Schumacher, Senna, Prost and Mansell were all divas but none of them (apart from Schumacher, the cheating robot) rubbed me up the worng way. I think the smugness is what does it.
Hopefully his poor 2009 season may have humbled him a bit, but I don't hold out much hope.
(Megamoss, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 3:04, 5 replies)

I secretly long to be Jeremy Kyle.
There I said it.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 2:56, 1 reply)

Remember that advert for some loans company or other
with the annoying twat being filmed by his missus on the phone to a loans company. Well, him.

It wasn't the way the advert introduced us to "Mike, at picture (I'm sorting out the loan)", or the "all lads together" attempt at humanising a faceless company that hawks loans to the viewers of Jeremy Kyle. It was that fat faced wanker and his hilarious on-camera antics that made me want to arrange a loan and hire a hitman just to blow the smug tit's face off.

Surely a loan shouldn't be that easy to sort out? Surely you should have to fill out several forms and read lots of small print before selling your next 40 years wages away in bite-sized installments? But no! Look, it's so easy even this gammon-headed retard can arrange one while talking about football. "Whoa! Is that thunder your end or mine?" That's not thunder, that's the sound of the bailiffs kicking your door in and dragging your kids off to work in their overseas factories. Never mind, just head your football..... that's it.

I really, really hated that advert. If I ever meet that man in the street, despite the fact he is clearly a good deal larger than myself, I'm definitely going to shout "Mike at picture thinks you're a cunt!" at him. Probably.

A bit of rain never hurt anybody. Hasn't he ever watched the news?
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 2:41, 2 replies)

time: the great destroyer
almost 5 years ago i discovered a real gem. a site that was free, unmoderated and a lot of fun. i was an avid contributor. i read almost everything posted, and looked forward to new material every week. but then, slowly something nasty, dull and joyless began to seep in.

this weeks Q invites no humour, insight or decent writing. it's just lists of 'cunts'* that are popular in some field or other or just in their own media hoopla, as defined by some other *'cunt'.

*in this case defined as some person not known in person

i really miss QOTW. it used to be fun.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 2:04, 9 replies)

I'll keep it short...
...sweet and vitriolic:

Elton John
So you decided you were gay Elton. So what? Big f*cking deal. Not big news these days I’m afraid. We accept it and we're not shocked by it. Nobody gives a f*ck that you were pally with Princess Diana, and that you re-wrote that God-awful song of yours about Marilyn Monroe in her memory, dick boy. No-one cares about your illustrious musical career (c’mon, who actually likes your music – and not in an ironic way?), and that you are friends with the rich and famous, the movers and shakers, and the c*nts of the day? You Queen it up big style in a ‘Look-at-me-I’m-gay-and-proud-and-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it?’ manner. What am I going to do about it Elton? Ignore you, that’s what. That’s one action ‘look-at-me’ c*nts like you detest.

Adam Woodyatt & Pam St Clement
One morning your phone rings. It’s your agent. They’ve just got you a gig in Eastenders. Bring it on, you think to yourself. Twenty years later there you still are, treading the boards and beaming into the TV sets of millions four nights a week. People shout your character’s name in the street when they see you. They sympathise with your character when they hit rock bottom. They berate you when your character performs a misdeed. They cannot separate fact from fiction. They do not realize that you are just pretending. However, because you have decided for an easy life and easy payday, you suddenly realize that your Eastenders characters have become personas of yourselves. ie. c*nts.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 5 Feb 2010, 23:43, 1 reply)

fucking

dull
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 23:42, 4 replies)

Jealousy
I hate all of the celebrities named above and below.

Why?

Because there is no-one getting that worked up about me, which makes me insignificant - so it's all jealousy. Isn't it.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 23:28, 1 reply)

Those vacuous twunting e4 funts...
whom present freshly squeezed. The moronic pair of make-me-so-angry-i-cant-form-decent-adjectives-or-similes bastards. They pop up on tv in the early morn and spew forth their oh so retarded critic about what ever is new this week.
Their whole false paltry pseudo cool demeanour annoys the fuck out of me!
I would take great pleasure in strapping on some lumberjack crampons and kicking the smile off of their smug twatish faces!!
(burkyman, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 23:25, Reply)

Rhianna.
Christ almighty she is shit.
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 23:23, 2 replies)

Kevin Smith.
Why do I hate him, you might ask?

For the same reason that so many women used to hate Cindy Crawford. The bastard has it all.

He went off to film school and got his degree, and while there he met Scott Mosier. When they got done they both had scripts for movies, so they struck a deal: they'd make Smith's movie first, with Mosier as producer and Smith as writer and director, then trade roles for Mosier's first film. Smith sold everything he had, including his comic collection, and raised as much money as he could and put the rest onto credit cards. His script was basically about what he knew at that time- working in a convenience store, putting up with the idiots who came in and cracking jokes with his friend as he worked his shift. His first movie did something unprecedented- it made it to Sundance and became famous.

Clerks.

Since then he's had a string of movies that, while they haven't been blockbusters, have done reasonably well and drawn a definite following. As a fat bearded geek, he's become a hero to other fat geeks and misfits everywhere.

He married a slender and pretty woman named Jennifer Schwalbach, and they have a daughter together named Harley Quinn. He's put out three books that are basically compilations of odds and ends he's written through the years, all of which have sold well. He's gotten small roles in movies and TV shows that were written and directed by others, so he's a fairly accomplished actor in his own right. He now tours around making money by having Q&A sessions and taping the results, which are released as "An Evening With Kevin Smith" discs, during which he basically stands on a stage and tells stories about his experiences and jokes with the audience and builds up stories off of things they ask.

In other words, he makes a living by just being a fat bearded geek who can spin a good yarn.

As a fat bearded geek who can spin a yarn, I gotta ask: when do I start getting paid for this shit?

Actually, I'm a pretty die-hard fan of the guy and have all of his films that he's released on disc, as well as his books. I just wish I could be him.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 22:36, 6 replies)

Nobody read the bit about not making lists
I lean towards indifference on all celebrities as most these days got famous for doing something shit on Live TV. Or more likely a shit on Live TV. If you want a proper entry, anyone who's ever gone on Big Brother.

I generally don't care, because I have found this marvelous invention called the remote. It's wonderful, if there's a cunt on the telly you press a button and they disappear for as long as you want.

It's brilliant, honest.
(TMAce needs to enter another image challenge sometime, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 22:22, 2 replies)

Russell T Davis – “Ooh that was the most wonderful Doctor Who ever… Gush! Gush! Gush! It was absolutely fantastically amazingly wonderful I’d make love to my own arse if I could I’m so fantastically amazingly brilliayant!”
I know it’s not cool but I actually quite like Michael Macintyre.

The Hate List

Jeremy Kyle, Paul Burrell, Chris Moyles, Piers Morgan, Ed Balls, Horne and Cordon, Jordon aka Katie Price, Madonna, Bill Oddie, Peaches Geldof, Lily Allen, Uri Gellar, Russell T Davis, Noel and Liam Gallagher, Jenny Barnet, Wacko Jacko, Coleen Rooney, Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, Jackie Smith, The Milibandioids Ed and David, Giles Brandreth, Sharon Osborne, The Hamiltons, Jeffrey Archer, Am I Bovered, Little Britain.

The Familiarity breeding contempt list:

David Tennant, Ricky Gervais, Richard Hammond, John Terry, Victoria and David Beckham, Brangelina, Cheryl Cole.

I’m sure there must be more but that’s quite enough bile for one post.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 22:02, 3 replies)

Forgot one
Dora the Explorer.
(gjb006, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 22:01, Reply)

Just to start.
Moyles - fat cunt
Clarkson and his bummer friends - cunts
Cowall - rich off others talents, twat
Car drivers that think that they own the road - stupid cunts
Cyclists that think they own the road - twats
Jeremy Vine - Jeremy Kyle for people who can't watch telly in the daytime - both are cunts of the highest order
Piers Moron - cocksucker
Nigel Havers - a right cunt
That bloke on that antiques program with glasses who pretends he's eccentric - cunt
Vodafone customer care - useless cunts
Lance Armstrong - litigious cunt
Jamie Oliver - fat tongued cunt
Jimmy Carr - who the fuck is Jimmy Carr? Cunt
Corden and Horne - did I fall into a coma and awake in a different world where these two fucking idiots are funny? Both are cunts
Cheryl Cole - what is she all about? cunt
Guy Andrews - shit eating cunt
The Post office - screwed up having a monopoly, cunts
British Airways - useless couldn't run an airline if their lives depended on it cunts
Jonathon Ross - floppy haired, tryhard cunt


Strangely enough I used to think Russell Brand was a cunt but listened to his radio show and warmed to him. I'll not be listening to Moyles in case the same happens there.
(peter_griffin, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 21:51, Reply)