Fare Dodging Geek
I once got mistaken for Adam Savage; one of the presenters of the TV show Myth Busters. It was by the ticket inspector on a train in Romania who was a big fan of the show; so much so he offered me beer and a couple of smokes and luckily he didn’t want me to blow anything up.

Turned out to be good fortune as I didn’t have a ticket and Romanian trains are fairly strict about the whole fare dodging thing. So I got a free train journey across Romania; cheers Adam!
(Rev O'Lucian will unfortunatly age on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:53, Reply)

And
Due to my bandana I was heckled from a taxi by one of Middlesbrough's finest who accused me of being Johnny Depp...
(Lord RumbleFIsh IV this may or may not work..., Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:52, Reply)

Did not taste good
I once mistook a cigerette butt for a liquorice comfort. The ashtray was on the table next to the bowl and I was not looking.

In my defence I was drunk.
(Spokes, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:48, Reply)

Also
I've been mistaken for a drug dealer countless times on the strength that I used to (in my misguided student days) wear a bandana.
(Lord RumbleFIsh IV this may or may not work..., Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:46, Reply)

At a Bob Dylan gig
"LOOK LADS!!?!?

IT'S A FUCKING MINI FUCKING VERNON FUCKING KAYE!!!!!"


Hardly a case of mistaken identity I know, I got the feeling this was to be taken as some sort of insult?

I digress.
(HairyBaldy, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:46, Reply)

Whales and Dolphins, Whales and Dolphins
Donington Park, 1994.

I've spent the day pissed up on vodka and Guinness (happy days), and I'm now stood in front of the main stage, waiting for Aerosmith to appear, swaying gently from side to side. At which point, some bloke with a lovely brown leather jacket (ouch) and nice hair (let's face it, he was a weekend rocker) appears in front of me, and spends ten minutes telling me how great my band is, we're the best thing he's ever seen, etc etc. I'm still so pissed, I can barely speak, and have no idea who he thinks I am. It eventually dawns on me that he thinks that I'm the drummer in Terrorvision. Nice. I lean forward, shake his hand without uttering a word, and he wanders off, happy in the knowledge that he's met one of his heroes.

Fast forward several months...

In a club in Birmingham, and I'm being chatted up by a bit of a boiler. I'm throwing despairing glances at my mates, who are collapsing with laughter at my dire situation. One of them finally takes pity, strolls past, does a major double-take, and shouts "Aren't you the drummer in Terrorvision?"

The girl's jaw hits the floor, and I take the opportunity to scarper - fast.
(Steve The Monkey, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:44, Reply)

Busted!
Christmas Eve 2006 in my usual drinking haunt, post midnight. I was utilising the gentlemen's facilities when I heard a thud, someone had hit the deck. I turned around to see an oily little squit had fallen face down onto the urine splattered tiles of the toilet in a drunken heap.

At first I thought it was just some beered up kid who'd had a skinful but a few overly sycophantic friends helping him to his feet and gushingly checking his wellbeing aroused my suspicion.

I was mistaken, closer inspection revealed the snot nosed punk was in fact Help Get Me out of the Celebrity Jungle "winner" Matt Willis.

He didn't look too cool drying other peoples piss from his face.
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:36, Reply)

make me your main dealer!
I was in a pub in Wolverhampton one evening
lets call it the 'Moon Over The Water' as thats the name on the sign.
I ventured away from my group and into the toilets, which if memory serves, are down stairs.
Having had a piss, washed my hands and dried them on my jeans (as was the style of the time)I text(ed?)a chum who was on the way to join us.
As I sent this text, I noticed from the corner of my eye a small queue forming. I looked around; No, I wasn't blocking the sinks or the driers, so what was going on?
I looked up; again no sign said 'queue here for bumsex'.
I enquired to the first chap what was going on, and he replied,
'Im after some pills mate'
I had a LINE of people who thought I was dealing in a weatherspoons toilet.
I dress differently when Im out nowadays.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:30, Reply)

Bluntman
I am often told that I bare more than a passing resemblance to Kevin Smith, or more specifically Silent Bob.
2 years working security at the bus station and having everyone and their mother shouting 'Hello, Silent Bob' has lead my friends and new co-workers to refer to me always as Silent Mark. I probably brought it on myself, what with the long dark coat and all.
Anyways, he's a millionaire movie director who's married to a hottie, so there are far worse people to be compared to I guess.
(The Cosmic Fool Became aware that the bird is indeed the word on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:28, Reply)

My sister
is 13 years older than me, and when I was 15 I borrowed her passport and went clubbing. The bouncers on one particular over 21s club apologised profusely and told me I looked very good for my age.

Edit: I've also been told I look like Dawn from The Office. It's a lie. I have way more breast than her.
(LandmineCat 's board sig, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:27, Reply)

superb!!
my brother is a beardy little scruffy shite, and when he wears his t-cosy hat, he looks EXACTLY like badly drawn boy!
He has pulled on this basis.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:21, Reply)

Badly drawn boy!
Oh the shame...
(Lord RumbleFIsh IV this may or may not work..., Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:18, Reply)

Alison?
I used to have a job selling advertising space in classical music magazines. It was a good job, but some of our clients were utterly bonkers. The best ones were the composers. Anybody who spends their days holed up in a tiny room writing twelve-tone serialist art music is bound to be a bit funny in the head. Anyway, I once had occasion to phone an octogenerian composer to try and flog him some ad space. He was quite keen but wanted to have a think about it and call me back. The following conversation ensued:

Him: What did you say your name was?
Me: grandmasterfluffles
Him: Alison? [my real name sounds nothing like Alison]
Me: Nooo...grandmasterfluffles
Him: Alison
Me: Um...no
Him: How do you spell that?
Me: G-R-A-N-D-M-A-S-T-E-R-F-L-U-F-F-L-E-S
Him: G-R-A-N-D-M-A-S-T-E-R-F-L-U-F-F-L-E-S. Alison.
Me: Look, you can call me Alison if you like...

I had to explain to my colleagues that if some old boy phoned the department and asked to speak to Alison, it was for me.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:17, Reply)

Blonde with big baps!
A few years ago, I started to get phone calls at all times of the night on my mobile. I normally just left it to go to voicemail but when I did answer, the person on the other end was always a little cagey about why they were calling and normally hung up before I could work out what was going on.

The most bizzare voicemail I had said "I'm looking for a tall, blonde slag with huge tits, who is up for a good time, my number is .....". Aren't we all, I thought.

It was getting stranger and stranger (and also harder to convince my misses that I wasn't some kind of pimp on the isde) until I managed to get it out of some guy who called. Apparantly a number in the back of the Daily Sport for strippers was 1 digit away from my mobile.

If I had been shrewd enough I could have earned some good cash there.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:16, Reply)

In the past I have been mistaken for:
Or have been called the following derogative things:

Meat Loaf
Ozzy Osbourne
John Lennon
And to cap it off... Geoffrey Chaucer!

I've made some money on the Ozzy thing though, signing autographs for drunkards in pubs for a fiver a chuck ;) In reality, I'm a 28 year old fat geek with long hair and a trenchcoat.

c'est la vie.
(fatedsnowfox, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:09, Reply)

In Specsavers yesterday
New prescription in hand, trying to find a pair of glasses that didn't make me look like a frigid librarian. They were quite busy at the time and I was informed that an assistant would come and help me in a minute. A few minutes later, somebody approaches me. Now bear in mind that she has a very strong French accent, and is a good example of that phenomenon whereby French people often sound as if they're asking questions when they're not.

Her: It's Claire?
Me: No, grandmasterfluffles
Her: No, Claire
Me: Um...no...it's not
Her: No, my name is Claire
Me: Oh. Hello.

This sounds so lame, but in reality it was incredibly embarrassing.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:07, Reply)

Long hair
A few long-haired mates of mine have been mistaken for drug dealers/users, simply by the merit that they have long hair. This has happened several times to a mate of mine, who is completely and utterly teetotal.
(I have a face also had a sig on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 14:02, Reply)

Phone mistake
I get quite a lot of wrong numbers, as my phone number is similar to a local pizza joint (two numbers transposed). The funniest one I ever got was someone who called up who sounded very like my mum, and called me "Emily". (My real name is nowhere near as common.) We chatted away happily for several minutes about nothing much before one of us realised "hang on... you're not...".
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:49, Reply)

Bad choice of hat
I was always compared to Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) which I didn't mind so much, in the early 90s when I had long brown hair, very round glasses and was 20.
Then one summer I bought a wide brimmed white hat of which I was very proud. Wearing this at lunch break one of my colleagues compared me to Aunty Dot from Neighbours.
Cue binning of said hat, haircut and smaller glasses...
(biscuitsocks random gene expression, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:39, Reply)

Racing driver
I was once likened to former F1 champ Mika Hakkinen. I do have the blue eyes and blond hair, but I'm not exactly convinced it was a compliment! Ladies, is this man attractive?



If so, he looks very like me....

(Actually, I was wearing a crash helmet at the time, so it was a bit difficult to see any resemblance!)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:39, Reply)

I'm not Peter!!!!
* Ring-ring *

"Hello."

"Is that Peter?" It was a woman's voice, one I don't recognise.

"No, sorry, I think you have the wrong number." This was true as my name was most definitely not Peter and, surprisingly, still isn't.

"Peter! That's not very nice, is it? I know it's you. Why haven't you called?"

"Probably because I'm not Peter."

This carried on for a while. I could not convince the woman she had the wrong bloke. Eventually, I did what I should have done right at the beginning and put the phone down. She rang again a few minutes later but I put the phone down again.

About half an hour or so later on, she rang again. She just had time to say, "Peter! It's my husband. I told him." before the phone was snatched out of her hand.

"You've been shagging my missus."

I wish I had thought of a better answer but I was sick of the pair of them by this time so I answered with the truth.

"No, I'm not Peter and besides I'm gay," I said and put the phone down.

I often wonder what happened next.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:35, Reply)

Let's see...
I've been mistaken for a lady-being whilst out on the town (some years ago).

"Evening Ladies! ... Oh, sorry mate."

Now, with face fuzz, people tell me I look like John Lennon, Dave Grohl and Jesus

...

Pretty good list I reckon...
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:34, Reply)

Japanise Tourists Shouting "Lindsey Lohan!"
that is all.
(Lupetherabbit Went straight into smirk mode on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:30, Reply)

Cautionary tale
My 39 year old sister was mistaken for my 63 year old mums sister.

Thats was smoking will do to your complexion.

Although my mum has had a face lift and has always looked young for her age.
( girlinthehole, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:23, Reply)

Noel Coward, sort of
Long time ago when me and a gang of about a dozen mates did a fancy dress, raising money for chariddy thing. We were all into Newman and Badiel at the time and it was thought that, as I could do the voice and the mannerisms, I should go dressed up as Jarvis: seedy gentleman kerb crawler.
I got the smoking jacket, gelled back my hair, painted my fingernails black and smoked mini cigars.
I looked a twat actually.
Throughout the evening, people were coming up to and saying "Who are you then?". After explaining about a million times (I don't think that the pub population of my wee Yorkshire town understood such high brow humour) I gave up the whole charade. Then in the nightclub that we had wound our way to, some drunken chap wobbled up to me and said: "You're Noel Coward!" to which my reply was, "Yes, yes I am..."
Never again am I doing the fancy dress thing. We had a cowboy themed Christmas do at work once and I just wore all black and told people I was Johnny Cash.
(Ghostlight, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:17, Reply)

Major tastic
When i was a kid, the optician said i needed glasses, so first day to school with them some older kids started taking the mick, and said i looked like John Major! little bastards.

Que me never wearing glasses ever again, Never going back to the opticians and always managing to blag things like driving tests by cheating like a raster.

Let that be a lesson. Kids on the bus are mean.
( two_hats_shakir is going break dancing after his tea, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:15, Reply)

What made me cut my hair
In the mid-nineties I had really long hair, about halfway down my back, and I was dating a girl who was into all this craft type stuff, producing her own artwork and clothes and so forth, and there was a craft fair in the Savernake Forest so I went along with her.

It's about half way through the day and a guy who was working in the beer tent came over to me and asked how much it was for an eighth. Now, call me naive but I had no idea what he was talking about so I was like, "what?"

"Oh," he replies, "I'm sorry, I assumed you were dealing," and off he went.

At this stage I decided that the long hair wasn't working for me anymore and I got the lot lopped off the next weekend.
(Fles is a man amongst gods., Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:02, Reply)

18 stone of overcoats...
I once mistook Johnny Vegas for a pile of coats at a party in Edinburgh. I chucked my jacket down and it wasn't until I head an "Oi!" then saw a hand clutching a pint of Guiness appear from under it that I realised...
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:01, Reply)

I'm only a man...
A straight mate of mine dragged me out to a foam party at one of his breeder bars. Being supportive I expected to be utilised for ‘sensitive conversation’ for said mate’s exploitation later.

Alas a few too many drinks to get us in the mood resulted in us spending the entire night neck deep in foam. And with having shoulder length hair and a room of boozed up horny lads, I had to beat off five different fellas from having their own personal Crying Game nightmare. Four of these lusty gentlemen took the hint when their hands were put on the chest, one though required a more detailed explanation. So I have been mistaken for a women with rubbish tits.

And yayy my first time and look, no bleeding.
(Fall, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 12:53, Reply)