I met some lovely b3tans at the weekend
and although I'm a grumpy fat bitch at the moment, I managed to chat to them without (I hope) offending anyone, which was nice. Plus I got to see some live bands (2 good bands, one female singer who should have been shot), which will probably be the last time for several years!

However, as we left the pub, mr vitamin c turned to me and said 'you do realise that you were talking to a group of strangers about penises for the last 15 minutes, don't you?' as if that was a weird thing, or I might not have noticed.

I really don't think non-b3tans understand this site...
( ascorbate, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 13:16, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I saw a man in the pub wearing...
...a B3ta t-shirt last night, in Hove.

Urm, that's about it really, no idea why I just told you that if I'm honest.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:34, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Boredom or Apathy
Is sitting watching Posiden Boredom or Apathy?

Do we do pointless things because we lack motivation to do someting else and are hypnotised by the Teat in the corner of the room, Or because we rationlise to ourselves "Well pubs are chuking out, offy is shut, evverones asleep, its raining outside, I've read all my books, I don't want to watch this turgid remake but there is fuck all else to do"
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:03, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Some things made a good start this weekend:
Tottenham
Daylight Lies
Al's car

So to celebrate this, have a thread of crap.
( thealternativefact, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:40, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pearl Jam - Manchester
Anyone going today?? Apparently the Moon Under Water is the place to be pre-gig. PM if you are please

Thanking you kindly, sir/madam
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:03, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok, so it's Monday. Great.
No matter how much you hate your job, there must be some little perk that you get amusement from.

I've arranged a fire-drill for 10:00, purely because people will have just settled back into their work from the weekend, when BAM, earful of alarm and eyefuls of bright, burning sunlight.

So, what perverse sources of joy do you get from your job?
( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 9:48, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

MONDAY! THis weekend I........
Went to a wedding
Spent £70 on alcohol
Watched harry potter 6
Drove to the woods and fed ducks and swans
Had some amazing sex
Saw a UFO

You have two hours before I get to work. I expect to hear about your weekends summed up like mine!

Oh and MORNING!!!!!
( Peej, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 7:18, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

U2
...were bl**dy brilliant on Sat Night



Waits to be flamed for posting an image of B*no on QOTW/OT...

(Either that or Becky will drive/find/hire an Accord to do me in.)
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 1:22, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alligator pictures - per Beckyletters who said POIDH



( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 23:09, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ohmegosh
hmv.com/hmvweb/simpleSearch.do?searchUID=8841600232426442958&pGroupID=-1&adultFlag=false&primaryID=-1&simpleSearchString=Where%27s+wally&btnSubmitSearch.x=0&btnSubmitSearch.y=0
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 23:07, Reply)

I'm a bit down
I just found out through my brother that the family dog was put down on friday, we'd had her for 12 years.

She was a black lab, and we got her only a few months after my Mum died, as it gave us all something to focus on.

I'm absolutely gutted. Not really anything else I can say.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 21:56, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wow it is dead here today
I have boobs and I'm jumping up and down naked.

That has to warrant more than 7 replies shureley?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 21:01, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Usain Bolt
just beat his own world record in the 100m, and run it in 9.58s which is an average of 23.4 mph.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 20:55, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This dude writes in a similar style to me.
themanwhofellasleep.com/journal
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 20:41, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Jonny Trott...
Yay man.. CUM ON...


(We may very well win the ashes this month...)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 20:14, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Afternoon fuckers
Sitting here at Bloodstock Open Air, just watched Turisas at the end of their tour (amazing), Cradle of Filth being forced off stage by a rogue gobstopper last night (not so good) and generally having a fucking brilliant time in the sun with some fentastic metal and Hobgoblin direct from the cask. Oh, and spent land night partying with Blind Guardian, who are top fellows.

What the fuck are you lot up to this sunday?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 17:18, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hnxies4Wtk
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 14:46, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

there's a guy in a house across the road from mine
have only heard him recently, but he is really fucking good on the piano.

a pleasure to listen to
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 13:23, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Calling all Londoners...
We are taking the kids to London and they want to do one of the 24 hour bus tours to see all the sights - can anyone recommend which one to use and even better put me in the direction of some good discount codes/coupons/vouchers so I will have more money to spend on crap tourist merchandise and lager shandies?

Thank you in advance,

Dr. T.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 11:51, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Michael Phelps had better watch his back

www.imdb.com/news/ni0931056/

You don't fuck with a Honda Accord.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 10:21, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sunday Morning Thread:

so, who's making me a coffee. i'm knackered!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 16 Aug 2009, 8:15, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd forgotten how calming painting was.
yesterday I decided to take an hour out of study for some "me" time. Ended up spending 4 hours working on a painting of the veiw of the beach just down the road from me (from memory), listening to music at the same time. Missed the phone ringing three times and just completely got lost in my own little world.

And it was the best four hours I've had in about 3 weeks. Just felt really calm, happy and peaceful. Of course it could possibly have been the smell of the turps making me a little high, being in a room with poor ventilation, but still.
Went out today and bought 6 more canvasses, as well as more oil paints. Think I will have to really pick up painting again.

So what's the nicest little bit of time you've had in the last few weeks?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 16 Aug 2009, 5:30, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Odd coincidences
Discussing Withnail and I this evening, in particular, the spectacular Jaguar that's driven by the Paul McGann and Richard E. Grant...

I haul ass to Kings cross to get the tube back to mine and who's first out of the carriage...PAUL MOTHERFUCKING MCGANN. Sadly I didn't get a chance to even say hello or I fucking loved you in a film you made 20 odd years ago, but just beamed at him through my drunken haze. He smiled back looking a little bemused :) MADE MY FUCKING NIGHT.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 0:45, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Steve Harmison* just declined a pint from me
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Harmison

Was just out having a couple/several pints with a bunch of chums this evening. We ended up in one of our many locals which is regularly frequented by Steve (as it is his local too). He's such a lovely bloke, completely earthed and all that. The biggest problem for me having a chat with him is his height (6'4") as it gives me a crick in my spondylotic neck.

So, I sauntered up to him this evening and asked if I could buy him a pint.

"Why on earth do you want to buy me a pint?" asks he.

To which I respond, "Coz yer a geet muckle canny lad 'n' the cricket's been a bit shite."

"I'm only staying for one more then heading off home."

"Well, let me buy your one more then!" exclaimed I.

"Nah thanks, Brian's getting one in for me."

EDIT/
What I should've then said was, "Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?"
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 15 Aug 2009, 23:48, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just posted this on links but I thought I'd share with you.
What the hell are these knickers all about?

www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=EC-241733&atp=a
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 15 Aug 2009, 20:51, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I feel that I must share this with you all
www.youtube.com/watch?v=99fKtD84K58

as it is mental in the head.
( Maladicta, Sat 15 Aug 2009, 18:51, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yay!
I qualified for a major fishing tournament, against professionals and stuff! I am stoked!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 15 Aug 2009, 15:47, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Front page news!
I love local press. There's a story in our local freebie rag about a man who was fishing off a pier, when a Porbeagle shark showed up. He got his camea out and took a snap of said creature.

The paper got hold of it and decided it was worthy of the front page, wrote a story and printed the pic. Only trouble is, the pic's the size of a fucking postage stamp so you can't actually make anything out on it other than an indistinguishable grey blob.

Fucktards.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Aug 2009, 15:34, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Goddammit
I've got a song stuck in my head.
I don't know who it's by, or any of the words, and can only remember about 6 notes of the tune.

But it's driving me crazy. Is there anywhere on teh web that can get half a dozen notes out of your head and tell you what song it is? Like the opposite of Name That Tune?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 15 Aug 2009, 15:00, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)