Wakey-Wakey! Rise and Shine! It's Sunday Morning...

and there are ribs in the oven...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 6 Sep 2009, 7:20, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What the BLITHERING FUCK.
www.bbc.co.uk/switch/slink/sexlovelife/amiafreak/ep_funnyflaps/

Straight from the beeb.
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 22:18, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm playing a gig this afternoon
with these people
www.myspace.com/thegiraffodils

I need a second opinion. Are they as bad as I think they are?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 14:17, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Obviously I don't believe that a load of you all met up and had fun
because you aren't real people....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 13:42, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm fed up with being badgered by my imaginary friends
to finally start using Facebook.

How do I continue to keep telling them to get to fuck in as many different ways as possible? -or do I give in to the pandering deluge of shite and 'look, I've got a bazillion friends now! Aren't I popular?' mentality?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 13:04, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Maybe this will help


I drank a little too much wine last night but am just about recovered. Tonight is beer and curry. How are we all today?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 12:17, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm about to have a shower to try and wash the Autism off.
talk amongst yourselves.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 11:31, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here in Suffolk
There's currently a TV ad campaign being run by a Chinese resteraunt company whose marketing slogan is "We guarentee you'll prefer us to your favourite Chinese. If you don't we'll give you your money back". Normally this would be pretty silly, but in my case I could cause them havoc.

You see, while I like Chinese food, I have never paid for any. I have also never been inside a Chinese resteraunt - I just eat my friends leftovers. Therefore when I buy something from this lot, they automatically become my favourite Chinese.

This means that each meal I buy from them must be better than the last, or I don't have to pay a penny.

Should I actually try this?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 23:30, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cursed shoes of Hell!
I've just learned that my brother accidentally gave my brand new, relatively expensive smart shoes to a charity shop the day before two friends get married, so I'll have to go buy them back tomorrow morning. I'm both fucked off and mildly amused.

At least I get to go FUCKING SHOE SHOPPING tomorrow.

I hate shoe shopping.

Buying those shoes once was bad enough...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 21:34, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Im off to dorset in two weeks
what are you counting down till?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 20:49, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you think
'that friday feeling' is a real phenomena or just a made up jingoistic piece of bullshit. I mean, what happens if you only work weekends?

But the question is, who is going to get mashed at the weekend, and if so, what is the weapon of choice. Mine, Gewurztraminer wine, herb and possibly some mdma.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 17:11, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a cock-tail.
My friends all like beers, but I think they taste stale.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends.
So oh lord, won't you buy me, a cock-tail.

This thread has TWO pourpuses, the first one is to help me determind what cocktails I should go for tonight. The second is so people can pay attention to me, yes, ME.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:44, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So...
Three hours left 'til I quit work.
Then this time tomorrow I'll be loading the car, ready to move house.

What excitements are you lot up to this weekend?
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:09, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hooray! I've been contacted by a nice man off the internet.
I don't think we're suited but it's nice to talk to someone friendly who doesn't want me to tie him up or send him emails of my naked body.

It's put me in a good mood today.

Todays question from Miss Blouse is......if you could only have sex in one position for the rest of your life, then what position would it be?
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:52, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Screw that
Where shall I go to eat,
assume any chain resteraunt/fast food place is in walking distance.

because it pretty much is.

Oh and I'll be eating alone because everyone I would like to have lunch with is at work.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:19, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ouch...
I feel like I've been skull-fucked by a bull elephant. Does anyone have a good hangover cure?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:13, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

2 things
1. True Blood is fucking fangtastic (having just spent the bank holiday watching 1.5 seasons) and 2. I havent used Facebook in a month so i "deactivated" my account. I can heartily recommend doing both.

What did you think about during your last wank?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 9:26, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ah, good old Blighty.
The weather forecast for the last few days must have read something like:

"Rain, followed by rain, with perhaps some rain later. Periods of persistent rain are expected after the rain moves through, with perhaps the odd rainy interval. Feeling mostly wet"

Some of the roads are closed around here due to flooding, and the police are advising people to stay at home. That's an over-reaction if ever I heard one, but lots of folk will use it as an excuse to skive off work.

How's your weather today?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 8:22, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm watching Harry Potter 2 (again)
and just saw the bit where he goes into his dorm to find it all messed up and ransacked and destroyed. How much FUN d'you think the set makers had doing that scene? I bet it was fucking loads.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Sep 2009, 6:04, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucccccccccck!!!!
After everything, I'm $1,000 short on my down payment/closing costs!
Do I;

A) Borrow a grand off the boyfriend
B) Whore myself out on the streets for a month
C) Ask the boss for a loan
D) Ask the ex to front it as he fucking owes me big style
E) Forget about it and hope I can find something else that's (literally) $2,000 cheaper?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 4:55, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Are you embarrassing when drunk?
Do you steal copies of Metro from other passengers on the train home while they're standing stowing luggage? And maybe you're so impressed with the size of your feet you decide to compare them with the man next to you on the tube, very loudly, but 'secretly'. And perhaps you too have an understanding girlfriend. Share your embarrassment with me before he gets himself arrested or falls asleep.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 22:48, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

B3ta....
Tell me your tales of your driving tests.
I know so many people who passed on their first time, I'm taking my 3rd in 2 weeks!

Did you pass? Barely? How was your examiner? Discuss!
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 22:07, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you believe that the way we learn history in this country skews our perception of other countries?
Also, if Hitler had been killed at birth, would the second world war have ever happened?

Discuss, or tell me something magnificent about yourself. QOTW lies accepted.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 19:41, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One of the children in my new class is a B3tard in the making
We were discussing rules and I asked them to tell me about rules they had at home.
Most of them said something like 'I need to eat my dinner before I watch TV".
So this one lad had his hand up,
"Yes, what rule do you have at home?"
And the reply came -
"My duck has got a hole in it's beak".


How do you answer that?

*edit* I'm busy typing up the class rules.
What do you think I should include?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 3 Sep 2009, 19:13, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 19:06, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hahaha, l'm watching the news and they're taking about the LA wildfires.
Twice, the presenter said "they're dropping fire retarded" before she realized.....made me giggle!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 16:11, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)