So I watched the remake of Dawn of the dead yesterday and was amused by the scene where the celebrities are picked off one after another.
If the zombie apocalypse occurred and you were faced with the choice of kill or be munched in a non-delicate fashion...which zombie celebrity would you eviscerate?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 12:03, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Another reason why I'm better than all of you
Last night I had a dream, a dream that is going to make me rich. I dreamt myself a Victorian Zombie Film ©

Starring Guy Pearce as Sherlock Holmes
Paul Bettany as a nervy, eccentric Watson
Anthony Hopkins as the Evil Master of the Mansion building where he has everybody trapped.

The trailer is a Zombie sprinting down a dark, damp corridor at a victorian pugilist in full leather-gloved, twirly-moustasched, stripey-vested goodness, who attempts to batter said Zombie, only for it to then eat him, and Hopkins to say the tagline that is currently my sig.

In what ways are you all better than me?

© copyright Bert Monkeysex 2009
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 10:38, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Monday Confessions Thread
I like crappy American alt rock and pop punk bands.

I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Anything you want to confess today?
( Peej, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 9:04, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just farted and it smelled of daffodils.
What did you think of the new Doctor Who last night? It freaked me out a bit. Water-puking zombies eh? Alternatively, what was the best/worst thing about your weekend?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 9:00, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just did THE bestest stinkiest
fart ever. The cats are DISGUSTED with me, and I actually had to open a window. This has all made me giggle like a schoolboy on helium!
What's made you laugh like that lately?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 5:22, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, my Sunday has been fun!
Hung out with some great people today and won an awesome mini cooler in the raffle - it'll hold at least 8 beers.
And dinner tonight is gonna be fresh, bbq'd trout with wild rice and garlic sauteed mushrooms. Yum!

How's your weekend been?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 23:43, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Psychadelic Fluff Overload!
Gronzo and I have just seen The Flaming Lips perform in Glasgow.
It was AMAZING!
What amazing thing have you seen today?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 15 Nov 2009, 23:04, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Edmund
Big feature today in the News Of The World magazine about Edmund/Eds Meds/Mr Happy. Obviously the guy's dangerous, that poor blokes hand he 'treated' is disfigured for life. He's clearly bonkers and has caused a lot of damage and hurt.

But i cant help also feeling a bit sorry for the bloke. That doctor woman he conned summed it up "All the time we'd been together he'd been working in a City bank earning a six figure salary" "he had a successful career - why would he lie about it"

The 'brief' he sent me (a rambling powerpoint pres) to help him win back Georgina Miles was in equal measures mad and sad.

Makes you wonder how many other crackpots are trundling around here*



*aside from myself
(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 18:54, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Christmas Prezzy Time.
What are you getting for who? Ideas would be great, thanks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 17:10, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Epitome of Wit
My wife's students are raffling a soft toy monkey for Children In Need and it is a one of those Guess the name of the monkey things.
So I named it.
ALF - Arboreal Life Form.
Sometimes I just crack me up. *sigh*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 15 Nov 2009, 16:09, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Any plans for this evening?
me personally, I will be watching films and eating tic tacs
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 16:07, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home!


Weather not fit to be out with a dog in!
And on a slightly different note, asi mentioned in wbm's thread below, I made a duck confit and Ginger marmalade breville last night.
I still cannot get over how truley amazing it was!

What truley amazingthing have you experienced lately?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 15 Nov 2009, 9:18, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone see Manny Pacquiao vs Miguel Cotto?
Also, great night for the Brits in UFC in Manchester last night.

Ireland lost to France in Dublin. Only 1-0 though so not the end of the world - we can take 'em in Paris and we play Australia in rugby today.

sportsportsportsportsportsportsportsport....

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 8:25, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well fuck it
There's been like what, 3 posts in the last 24 hours?
It's midnight, and I'm going fishing at 5am to try and qualify for the trout Masters tournament. And if you don't care, then don't fucking post, or you can tell me how shit my life is! You should see the lake though, it's fucking stunning, especially as th esun is coming up!

waits to get flamed by Psyochomp, Amorous Badger, Gonz and whoever else
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 8:05, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I've spent the last two and half hours painting,
Because I've had a gutful of chemistry. I studied all morning and afternoon up until about 3 o'clock, and I gave up at the point where I realised memorising ALL the possible outcomes of acid-base reactions would probably not matter all that much.

So yes - I christened my new easel by liberally getting oil paint all over it whilst painting a canvas. Am starting to get better I think - I'll get some pictures up when it's all dried.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 15 Nov 2009, 5:59, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just had
Some pretty foul tasting belgian chocolate. What bad foods have you eaten lately?
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 3:32, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

what are you wearing

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 17:27, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 1:38, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so, why do you sit there pressing F5 when no one is posting?

( well, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 19:57, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking hell, I've become the object of my obsession
www.b3ta.com/questions/familyfeuds/post567993
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 18:51, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just cut my own fringe with sewing scissors, and there's nothing to eat apart from coke and apples
I feel like a proper student.


What recently made you feel young again?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 17:51, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For the first time
since the introduction of the Popular page, I'm not on it.

For the first few days I had no less than three posts on there at a time. Either I'm not as amusing as I was last week, or you're all bastards.

YOU BASTARDS
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 17:14, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Spent the latter half of today at work
with no email, no internet, no access to servers in other offices. Basically meant I couldn't do any work, and I couldn't do any non-work either.

Fucking shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 16:48, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HAHAHAHAHA
Look at This! There is some seriously funny shit on this site.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 15:36, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thatcher dead
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8358544.stm

Sort of
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 15:19, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am in the car sitting outside my house like a cut-price stalker
Because I've locked myself out. I also have new red hair. What should I do until I'm rescued?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 14:48, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Weekend plans?
1. My brother is 39 today so BOOZE
2. Sister visiting tomorrow so HIDING DRUG PARAPHENALIA (she's a copper innit)
3. Seeing daughter on Sunday so ahhhhhhhhh
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 13:48, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

By Request Of Mr Spikeypickle
Here we are
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 13:43, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Food
I went in Waitrose earlier for some salmon. I noticed that there were a few things reduced a la Asda yellow-ticket style, but with less pikeys hanging around like vultures.

So that was lunch sorted. Broccoli and stilton soup and sushi.
What bizarre mismatched foodstuffs are you having for noms today?

Oh, and if you do get one of those sushi packs, once you've finished the sushi, don't then finish off the remaining pickled sliced ginger and wasabi paste in one mouthful....
Mrs SLVA said I did my vinegar strokes face.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 13:33, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)