Phone handset upgrade
So I'm due a handset upgrade. I'm on O2 so the shiny options are the Palm Pre or the iPhone. Or I could change providers and get a google phone. What do you reckon, OT? Bear in mind I'm pretty much using it for internet access, call and text goodies are of minor concern.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 11:33, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WAKE UP YOU LAZY SHOWER OF BASTARDS!
And, erm, how was your weekend?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Feb 2010, 9:45, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My only achievement today has been scoring 2999 on 100-pin bowling on the Wii
anyone got anything better?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 19:22, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning. It's Superbowl Sunday!
Never mind the (American) football, it's all about partying and watching the commercials.

Also, I have been contacted by the local newspaper as they want to do an article on my transition from illegal immigrant to green card holder, and the differences in attitude towards illegals from Mexico as opposed to those from other countries.

Oh, and happy birthday Roota and Poppet.

Hope you all are having a lovely Sunday.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 18:14, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What day is it???
I'll tell you what day it is!!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 9:42, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

By crikey, but Independence Day has aged.
I can't wait for the terrible bit of green screen with the dog in the tunnel. Or that bit where the Fresh Prince punches an Alien in the face and says "Welcome to Earth!"

When has a movie pissed you off?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 21:27, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Trashy romance novels blog
I've never been a fan of them, but one of my college flatmates would devour them at a rate of knots and then deliver her critique on them. I found this blog on another site and found it perturbing that someone would spend so much time reading romance novels, just to slag them off, yet utterly compelling.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 18:13, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

actual top tips
warm your bed with a hairdryer by blowing it under the duvet. seal any rogue holes and watch the duvet inflate with lifegiving warmth. wafting, discretionary.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 1:37, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

O noes! It's teh Snoe Storm Of Teh Centureeeee!
For the record, so far we've gotten about four inches of wet sticky snow, and they're predicting rain later so it'll probably all melt off, then freeze into black ice, then melt off over the next day or so.

But goddam, the grocery store was swarmed like a midnight screening of Twilight!

Look for yourself: www.vcu.edu/ramcam/bb_controller.html

Does that really look that bad?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 20:18, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was in Subway this afternoon
When I got to pay for my sub, priced at £5.09, the till minion asked if I wanted a free drink with it. I took a bottle of fanta which the minion rang through the till before knocking the 9p off the bill.

So Subway have actually paid me 9p to take a bottle of fanta away from them. What small, petty victories have you had lately?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 18:15, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I spy with my little eye
somthing beginning with.....O
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 16:17, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have just eaten my third pot noodle of the day
And my guts are churning ominously.

What have you done lately OT that you probably shouldn't have? (Other than your mum, etc)
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:51, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The QOTW yoyo effect
Some weeks the QOTW is sweetness and light and brings out the best in people. Some weeks, quite the opposite. I fear that this week's one, while cathartic in its own way, is a stream of negativity.

Having said that, what has been everybody's favourite ever QOTW? After I joined B3ta I did trawl the archive. The Ghosts one had many an interesting read, the shit and puke ones not so much.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:41, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WEEKEND THREAD
Who's doing what? With whom? And why?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:18, 138 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The flush doesn't work in trap 4 at work
and some careless fool has just spent ten minutes noisely emptying his arse out in to it. He's know trying like fuck to get it to flush. What a maroon! I'm in trap one, which always works. 4 is for n00bs lol.

How do you spend your Fridays in the office?!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:52, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good lord, we're expecting 20-28 inches of snow.
Other than food, booze, milk and duvets, what would you stock up on?
Bananas? Condoms? Chili lube?
My list includes sugar and condensed milk to make snow cream.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:42, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

NOT TO BE READ BY DG. HIGHLY UNSUITABLE FOR CONTINUED SOLVENCY
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8499745.stm
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 12:11, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Went to my mates funeral yesterday
and I know they aren't exactly jolly affairs but this vicar was the most miserable cunt ever. Telling his parents that their son was only lent to them, telling us all he never fulfilled any of his dreams, preaching that he never went to church, reminding his fiance that he died before they could get married. He spoke like he was an actor in a piss poor b movie. He was actually making people feel worse and everyone was bawling their eyes out.

On the plus side they played OPM's Heaven is a Halfpipe on the way out. Shit song but at least I got to snigger at the word "fucking" being said out loud in church. Also his dad got up and told us how one night he hadn't come home and so he had gone out looking for him and found him and his friends outside Morrisons stoned out of their minds trying to climb a lamp post because they thought they might be able to light a joint off it.

Anyway, I'm a guitarist and vocalist in a band, anyone want a bunk up?
( Peej, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 11:50, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Advertising FAIL!
"You don't dress like you're grandmother, so why would you use her personal lubricant".

No, seriously....who wants to think that loveable granny ever even considered using lube?
I hope that commercial doesn't come on again tonight, otherwise my lovely telly might be ruined by a high heeled shoe!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:42, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

From the Telegraph review (thanks to purpledoris):
'Where is David Bowie when you need him? Arguably the boldest and most creative solo artist in the history of rock, he seems the ideal icon for these uncertain times, the kind of future pop visionary who might bring the blurred possibilities of a disintegrating music culture into sharp focus.'

I'll tell you where he is: hanging, twitching from a length of electrical cable in a fume-filled lockup in the East End.

If only this were true...


EDIT re-reading that, there's one bit I have no argument with: he is indeed the perfect icon for these times: shallow, image and fame obsessed at the expense of quality, really fucking shit and disliked intensely by me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:34, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I went to see "A Prophet" last night.
It's the best film I've seen in ages. And I've learned a new use for teaspoons from it.

Do you want a question? OK. What do you think of Count Arthur Strong? I can't decide whether Count Arthur Strong's Radio Show is genius or pisspoor, or whether I want to go to a recording in Manchester to hear it, or to burn the theatre to the ground. Opinions?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:16, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

YO tell me what ya want, what ya really really want!
"I'll tell ya what I want what I really really really want!"

I wanna stay off work and eat nice things.
What about you lot?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:02, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sooo.......today
I quit my "work from home job" that I've only made $600 from since October. I had two job interviews, both of which seemed to go well.
I've also been happy the last two days, instead of "just functioning" or being depressed.
It was nice to dress up and put makeup on and do my hair for the interviews.
Today was a good day.

Have you had a good day lately? (Oh, and BGB, have a fucking great time in Tenerife!!!)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 4:34, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm stuck in another airport for the next 4 hours. What should I do?

(I always defer to the wisdom of b3ta).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 23:08, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Officially the worst week ever....
I've been dumped by my snivilling excuse for a boyfriend (not that he's been around much anyway).
I have been working solid 14-16 hour days.
My boss is a cunt and delights in adding to my workload on a daily basis.

and I've just been hit with a rather large bill for my boiler, and will have no hot water until at least Saturday morning.

Maybe I'll win the euromillions tomorrow night - that should just about balance it all out.

:-(
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 22:52, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

AAAAARRRGGHHH! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
They're predicting more fucking snow for this weekend! The lazy gits haven't even finished plowing from the last storm a week ago, and now we're getting more?!?

GAH! I may just have to fuck off to South Carolina for a week to avoid the idiots in their SUVs! There are tire tracks in lawns everywhere from fuckwits who couldn't control their urban assault vehicles in the last storm. I can hardly wait to see what twattishness this new one will bring...

*goes off to get groceries enough for a week*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:49, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evil little bastard.
Sack and some bricks for this one.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7129952/Cat-predicts-50-deaths-in-RI-nursing-home.html
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:09, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Holy titty christ

What the fuck is wrong with this woman:
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/7154277/Cherie-Blair-spared-violent-criminal-from-prison-because-he-was-religious.html
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:22, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's the best convenience food you ever had?
I met Ze German in a kebab shop for lunch and we had kebabs - it was superb so I emailed her this after I got back to the office:

"that truly was superb - up there with the best kebabs I have ever had
i just want to go home and talk about it to someone "

She called me a nerd but that's ok - I am a kebab connoisseur, a kebaboisseur if you will. Every country in the world has their own version of kebabs and wherever I am, I insist on finding the best kebab house in town.

I love kebabs.

rafter
baz

ps, it's not fat. It's a surplus of awesome.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:00, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)