Jon Lord RIP
If you don't know who he was that's your loss. Talk about some other shite.

If you knew who he was and what he did and how incredible he was you'll share my despondency.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 18:51, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

What confuses you?
Are you like one of those girls that askes questions throughout a movie? Does peoples motivation to follow the excretable detail of celebrities lives allude you? Maybe the remote control is simply too much to handle?

alt: Ever driven a digger?

altalt: best ever cheese, or something. I'm a bit in love with grilled halloumi at the moment
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 15:58, 172 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Hey look, it's fucking /links innit.
theworldofsport.tumblr.com/post/27283574639/cycling-fan-delivers-the-ultimate-in-summary-race#disqus_thread

This is very amusing.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 14:05, 153 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Best thing you ate or drank this weekend?
Alt: ever sharted in public? I bet you have. I bet you enjoyed it as well. Filthy cunt.

AltAlt: I don't care about your lunch. Twat.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:34, 166 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Hello Off Topic.
Does anyone actually care about the same sex marriage thing?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-18847588

Apart from drerss wearing men like this one. Do you?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:05, 85 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Youn all being a mean again :'( be nice to each other.
Ah'll warn ye, ah will. Yon OT will be like /talk afore ye ken it! Repent noo, sinners o' the interwebs.

Say one nice thing about someone you said you hated in the last thread. I said I hated you all but really I want to snugglewuggle you all.

Alt: My son told a funny. He told a story about a boy who ate so much ham he turned into a ham and his mum called a "hambulance"
Now you make a funny, go on, make us LOL!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:03, 81 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Hello Off Topic
What is your favourite chocolate bar? Mine is a Boost. I had a Double Decker at the weekend after spending years under the misconthingmabob that it had nuts in it which I cannot eat. It was still not very good in my opinion.

Alt: Which member of this here forum makes you do a bile-burp in disgust every time you see them post?

Alt-Alt: You have 5 minutes till the end of the world, a gun and one bullet. Who do you kill?
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:57, 151 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Monday morning, you pricklords.
The train is terrifically stuffy, the weather is shite and I am wearing a very dull shirt.

What does today have in store for you?

Alt- why so much bullying, can't we just get along?

You bunch of pricks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 7:59, 213 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Sunday evening eh?
Time was it would be spent licking my wounds, laying low with a couple of medicinal joints. Nowadays it is a beer and a record and then probably nodding off on the sofa, or going to bed early.
How has your weekend been more rock n roll than mine?

Alt: I'm listening to Faust, if you care about that sort of thing. Recommend a good album for me to add to my impossibly large wish list.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 15 Jul 2012, 20:45, 106 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Today on Facebook
Several unappealing pictures of peoples babies in various poses designed to make the observer coo. Result invariably makes the subject look like a stroke victim.

A picture of a curry. I think it was a curry, anyway. Could have been a stroganoff. Either way, they were awfully proud of it considering it looked like cat vomit.

"Looking 4ward to a luvly healthy roast din din Xxx"

Various invitations to shit web browser games.

Constant spam by one person consisting of saccharine, banal "motivational" pictures, usually involving a dog of some sort.

ONE entry in which somebody is having some sort of fucking life outside children, dogs and food.

I swear to God, if it wasn't for George Takei with all his gay pride posts, I'd never have anything to read at all. I could remove them all and save myself some rage but occasionally they do post updates about themselves that I do find interesting, they are my friends after all. Besides, I like being angry. Are you friends with shit people?
( Kroney, Sun 15 Jul 2012, 17:03, 113 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Trouble with the Binman
My Binman is refusing to take away a perfectly dead body from the communal bins. The Old Bill just want it gone and it's smelling up the stairwell. When have you stunk out the flats through poorly thought out (but utimately blameless) murder?

Alt tell us your funny xanax tales.
(Teamspunk Is putting the spunk in steampunk, Sun 15 Jul 2012, 10:17, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Good morning all and isn't it a lovely day.
I awoke early and have now done two loads of washing, put away all the crockery, rearranged my wardrobes and I'm now sitting listening to music with a steaming mug of smug.
Tell me, dear B3TANs, what are your plans for this excellent Sunday?

Alt: Do you listen to radio comedy? If so, what do you like/recommend and if not, why not?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 15 Jul 2012, 9:05, 24 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Far be it
For me to piss on the chips belonging to Dozer, but I've been out and I've come back in again.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 14 Jul 2012, 22:49, 9 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I went to the Treasurer's House in York today.
Went down to the cellar where that guy saw the ghostly Roman soldiers. Harry Martindale, fact fans.

Monty would have loved it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 14 Jul 2012, 20:03, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Saturday, Saturday is Tiswas Day,
Morning people what did you do last night? I played poker till 2am. One of the friends that came I hadn't seen since 1994, he was almost bald, it made me think how the years go by.

If you could repeat one past year what would it be and why?

Alt:Good book, I need something to read suggest away

Alt Alt:Breakfast I made the family bacon drop scones with clotted cream & blueberries. what are you NOMing on?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 14 Jul 2012, 8:34, 40 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

hey i just got here
And this is crazy
I'm watching the football
I thought "Post it, maybe"
tee hee diddly dee
Fuck you etc
Being an American sucks
if I were Mexican life would be grand
( Lisette von Falcon, Sat 14 Jul 2012, 5:14, 9 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I don't come here often
but I've noticed you around, and you look quite cute. It occcurs to me I dunno how to spell occurs, or cute. I'll be honest, I was just after some shed action. alright o/t whats happening?
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 23:38, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Fucking hell I have been blighted by my boss from head office and two Reps. most of this afternoon.
On a fucking Friday afternoon the cunts, my boss was only there to try and blag corporate olympic tickets, at 4.50pm I blew my rag and told em all to fuck off, they left sheepishly.

Can you get away with shit like that?

Alt: Now I'm at home with a cold beer did I overeact? do you overeact? And if so what was your Mount Vesuvius moment?

Alt: Alt: I need a holiday where should I go?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:52, 73 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

LAST THREAD OF THE WEEK APART FROM THOSE WEIRDO EVENING TYPES
Keira Knightley, hot bit of stuff or doorstop?

Find other LOLarious uses for famous types. For example, James Corden = ballast.

Alt: how many beers will YOU consume this weekend? Well?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:01, 174 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Isn't it a bit slow?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18825579
I thought running involved fastness.
What do you find slow?
Alt, is fastness a real word?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 13:57, 231 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

NEW THREAD
what up shitbags?
Anything good happened so far today? anything a bit pants?

Is there something interesting you'd like to share??
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:19, 144 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

So, cop for this, then.
What are you up to this weekend?

Alt: make up a humorous lie or anecdote involving Brian Jacks, Daley Thompson and/or Geoff Capes. Or Duncan Goodhew.

Alt alt: What's 'trending' in the 'blogosphere' right now?

Altaltalt: ZAMMO - will he never learn?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:31, 204 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

So cop for this then.
Actually, scratch that, it's gibberish.

Morning chumps and flumps. Freitag is here, named after the Babylonian deity Taa'ag, God of fried food, worshipped thoughout Mesopotamia between 3000 and 2000 'BCE'. I'm no 'Xtian'* but saying 'BCE' is a touch knobbish, non?

I bet you 'touch knobbish', eh? I'M SAYING YOU'RE A PENIS FONDLER.

I really need to be back in bed. My proposal - I go back to bed for at least four more hours.

*oh dear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 8:29, 274 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

So cop for this then.
We've had a royal double bank holiday to celebrate an institution that very few people give a fuck about.

We're about to have a festival of running fast which, again, the majority of the UK population don't give a fuck about.

My proposal - the "It's Stopped Raining" event. The day that no-one in this septic Isle gets wet - should be a spontaneous holiday.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 21:18, 61 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Pricks, eevning all.

(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 18:28, 80 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Apologies for the new thread.
I've just come out of a project planning meeting, it was quite a serious affair as we are months behind schedule and millions over budget. It was in this meeting that I started laughing.

I laughed because I received a text. A text that read...

'I've been stepped until Sunday, I only posted a picture of a shed for fucks sake!'

When did you last laugh at the wrong moment?

FREE BATTERED!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:18, 74 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Customers
We've done a thread with OUR fuckups recently. What is the stupidest thing that a customer has done?

Alt:
Shed. LOL JK. £10 to spend - what on?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:22, 117 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Good afternoon minions
I shall be going to Morrisons later, this will be the first time I ever been to one. What should I expect from this bastion of Northern consumerism?

alt: I get to go here www.angelamalik.co.uk/ to learn some Asian cooking, which cusine shall I go for?

altalt: thursday is the new Friday so waht's going on this weekend?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:17, 189 replies, latest was 13 years ago)