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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Heil Hitler.
Last night was fucking stupendous. We had the De Luxe Parrillada: the steaks were epic, the black pudding utterly sensational and the chimichurri as splendid as ever. The Argie sausages, whilst very good, are kind of pointless in the overall scheme and could easily be left off. We had a stupendous bottle of Malbec and large Hennessys in place of a pudding. If you find yourself in London with a spare wad of cash and are hungry you could do a lot worse than to go to Buen Ayre on Broadway Market, E8. Of course if you are a vegetarian or a bumlord this is not the place for you.

Today I feel a little sick and exactly like a fucking fat bastard.

The Roots's ?uestlove states in the paper that Public Enemy were the Sex Pistols of their day. Do you agree?

Alt: Nommy zombies, kittums, Egypt blah blah fucking blah.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:44, 279 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
it's cos you ARE a fucking fat bastard. :P

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:45, Reply)
I'm glad you had a good time though, really.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Well I'm glad that you're glad, then.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:48, Reply)
I second this
although I am jealous of your evening.

I spent it alone, drank some nice red wine and watched Robocop.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Whilst I'm sorry your Valentines was spent alone,
fucking top choice of film-based entertainment
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)
cheers
it wasn't quite how I remembered it. I was waiting for much more ED209.

Still top quality though. I suspect I shall watch Robocop 2 tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:01, Reply)
Also good
but don't do 3
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Agreed
I personally would also avoid 2, I feel it sullies the excellent original. It's no Aliens, by any means
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)
I can barely remember seeing it the first time around
so I'm going to

I already know to steer clear of 3 however. It is fucking appalling.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Yep
Makes Alien: Resurrection look good.

Yes this is my only point of reference today
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I'm a massive fan of the Alien films
I think 3 is great and find Resurrection to be highly enjoyable as well.

It helps that I quite fancy Winona Ryder.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Perfect film for her
as she acts like a robot most of the time anyway
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I just had to google the plot for 2 there
/alzheimers
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Old age, mate
I'm expecting the ravages of time to catch up with me any day now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)
I feel fucking old today

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)
I'm not twisting the knife as I have no idea how old you actually are
and I'm older than I look
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)
36 going on 136
Stupid insomniac children
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:40, Reply)
HAHAHAHAA YOU'RE OLD
Sorry. That was mean. But most of these bastards are younger than me. Gotta get your kicks where you can find 'em
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Cheers!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Sorry mate
I have two words which will make you smile - Shefki Kuqi
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)
*smiles*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)
No I don't agree.
When exactly are you going to reign in the spending and sort out your finances.

*points finger and narrows eyes*

In other news, last night I dreamt of flirting with a guy who looked exactly like Aber's husband but wasn't.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:48, Reply)
who was it then?
and did you get to second base?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:49, Reply)
I don't know.
Just some random guy who looked like Aber's husband. We didn't get to any base. We were too busy trying to find the entrance for flights to Manchester in a huge airport.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:51, Reply)
I've just realised how Freudian that sounds.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:52, Reply)
ahahaha.
Good going. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:52, Reply)
I had a weird dream
in which my faction of a secret race of supernatural beings was in dispute with another faction, and a young hothead on our side performed a ritual to summon "Something Really Nasty". Upon learning of this I was the first to leg it, as I knew it wouldn't be stopping to ask allegiance before eating EVERYONE.

I'm much more likely to be sensible than heroic in my dreams.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)
One's first Valentine's day with a partner
is not one for 6p Chinese noodles and a shared can of White Ace. I sent a bouquet to Lusty's work and gave her a C13th Islamic poem.

I am a Good Boy.

EDITED INTO ENGLISH, SORRY.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)
you appear to have lost the ability to type though

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:02, Reply)
I bet you she would have been happy with 6p chinese noodles and a can of White Ace if she was sharing it with you.
Am I right ladies of B3ta!!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Hahaha deafening silence says 'no you aren't'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)
They're just don't want to make you look foolish.
They know I don't care.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)
I am also "fat bastarding" today
Had tempura king prawns served on samphire with sweet/hot chilli sauce, followed by sirloin steak, dauphinoise potato and field mushrooms with a peppercorn sauce and some kind of ice cream concoction to finish. FUCKING NYOM!

Public Enemy are fucking cool - cool and a bit mad, best kind of cool
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:59, Reply)
that sounds good
you bastard.

I couldn't even tell what the meat was in the stuff I had for dinner last night :-(
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)
tramp

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Tramp is nice - well marinated

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:04, Reply)
it could have been tramp for all I know
the people I am staying with are quite eccentric. Murdering the homeless and eating them is definitely something that they would be capable of. Now I come to think of it, they were conspicuous in their absence last night, and their kids who were there have the look of a cannibal about them....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Ow! Not good
It was exceedingly nice, ta
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:04, Reply)
That does sound rather nice.
I had soup yesterday. Erm, and bread. And popcorn. But no sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:02, Reply)
PE were definitely the Pistols of their day, but without the manipulation.
I don't think the Media Assassin was a patch on McLaren in those stakes.

You fat bastard.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Also, PE were deliberately arty and intellectual in their output.
The Pistols most definitely weren't.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)
So not like the Pistols at all really.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)
They were
In that they crystallised a lot of youth anger and articulated it. PE had a defined, righteous fury, whereas the Pistols were angry for the sake of it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Public Enemy had something to be angry about
The Pistols were basically drunken yobs in the right place at the right time. You make an excellent point about the manipulation thereof.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:15, Reply)
The Sex Pistols were Malcolm McClaren's boyband
They were the ugly loud Take That of the 70s
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Indeed.
As I said above. I love PE deeply.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:18, Reply)
I'll bet you do.
All those schoolboys running around in little shorts.

You make me fucking sick.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)
POTD

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Public Enemy never made the impact on yoof that the pistols did.
Regardless of the quality of music for either band.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)
I disagree.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Wanna arm wrestle?
It's the only way we can sort this out.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)
In this country that is true.
Globally I am less certain.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Not in this country, perhaps
But they were an outlet for millions of disaffected black people in America. NWA had more immediate impact but their lyrics effectively boiled down to "The police are bastards, aren't they?". Chuck D was a poet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:22, Reply)
AIDSlolz
disaf in
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Shit! God I am old : (
I was getting Public Enemey mixed up with PiL.

*shames*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I surprised Ms Foxtrot with a bottle of Champers and a big box of Ferrero Rocher, which is her personal equivalent of crack
Once she'd finished teaching her Argentine Tango class, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would, I offered to cook her dinner or to go get takeaway for the sake of speed. She chose the latter, thank fuck.

In my ongoing quest to sample everything our excellent local Indian has to offer, I had Naga with lemon rice, which I can advise any fellow teflon-mouthed spice enthuiasts is an excellent combination. However, this morning I have had to make several trips to drop off the very reluctant kids at the pool. Why can't there just be a button you press to make it all flush out at once?

Oh my god, is this what it's like to have a period?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Not quite.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Morning Darth
Glad you had a good night, but can you limit your Glee related status updates to one a week please? It's making me hate you.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)
Morning sexy
It's making me enormously angry at the moment, I'm very tempted to MTFU and stop watching it. Last night it was alleged that all-boys' schools are a haven of understanding where gay men can be open about their sexuality in a peaceful environment. They're not. They're the most homophobic places on earth.

AND they massacred Livin' On A Prayer. Inexcusable.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Seriously, I'm going to stop talking to you.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Stopping now
Let's talk about all the interesting places in Bradford you're going to show me at the end of August
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)
If I'm still speaking to you.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Le sigh
*unzips, turns on camera phone*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)
You are awful
I'm in a bad mood. I've had three hours kip and have somehow ended up looking after a toddler. I just put her to bed, now I have to start the clean-up operation.

What the fuck is actually wrong with people who choose to have children?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Hormones, or something
Ms Foxtrot spent a good portion of last night looking desperately for a Ballroom competition to go to on May 8th, as she's been invited to a baby shower on that date. Being around that many fiercely ovulating women is unappealing, apparently
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Ugh, no doubt.
She's asleep now. I've had a fag, made a cuppa and turned off the unbelievable torrent of shite that is Cbeebies in favour of the unbelievable torrent of shite that is BBC Parliament. I might have a nap myself, my insomnia has been awful recently.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:43, Reply)
I can recommend being threatened with redundancy
seems to have cured my insomnia for the time being
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)
No chance of that, I'm afraid.
My job makes it worse, given that I finish at 01.30 two nights a week and 02.30 on one. It's got to the point that I count sleeping before 08.00 as a 'win'.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I'm starting to think B3ta causes insomnia
having been suffering myself a little recently. Do we all subconsciously think about posts we responded to and what we could have said that would have been funnier?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)
nope, I'm pretty sure mine started long before b3ta

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:50, Reply)
I tend to just think
"Fuck, I can't sleep... I'll just read a few things I was putting off for tomorrow... Oh shit, it's 09.00 again... Fuck, I can't sleep (etc.)"
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Insomnia is an absolute bastard
It's possibly the most frsutrating thing in the known universe. Including Angry Birds
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Yeah, it's getting to the point where I'm missing work now.
Which I can't afford if I want to go party hard in Brighton next month. I'm out of prescription drugs I can mix in order to reach sleep, so I might go to the doctors and actually get my own.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)
does smoking spliffs work for you?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)
A little bit, but I don't like weed that much.
Plus, prescription drugs from friends are free.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)
yeah, but they are likely to be much worse for you in the long run
I guess I am lucky in that I really like smoking weed, and it does wonders in helping me sleep
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)
I only take them when I absolutely *have* to be up the next day
I couldn't afford the weed anyway.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Its Toblerone for Mrs Cow
Ferrero Rocher are in the silver medal position

Nuclear shites are redressing the yin-yang balance of your anus and guts. Pleasure in - pain out
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Drink Guiness afterwards.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Really? Does that work?
Or is this some ploy to make me think I've got the Black Death when the morning shite is deathy in pallor?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)
I reckon the morning shit would reek to high heaven too

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)
And I live with two vegetarians
I can only do this when I've got the morning off. One shouldn't have to time one's curry & Guinness binges
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Ferrero Rocher are peasant Esso garage shite marketed as 'quality'.
Godiva or Charbonnel et Walker are good. If you like that sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)
She might like that sort of thing
but I fancy it's fucking expensive, just by the name. I can't afford to ply her with pricey chocs but can keep her in Ferrero Rocher. Therefore I choose not to investigate this yet, but will bear your suggestions in mind for when I win Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Don't you put yourself down.
You bought those peasant chocolates with your hard-earned dough.
Whereas Lord Montague has just maxed the cards again and is then looking down his nose.
I bet his sofa is from Brighthouse.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)
who gives a shit if they are quality or not?
they taste nice. That is the sole requirement of chocolates.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)
You're new to Massive Snobbery, then?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)
not at all old chap
I am a massive snob, but not where food is concerned. Generally the more expensive things are more expensive because they are better. Not necessarily the case with chocolates however.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Montezuma's do a good one with chillis in it.
I actually coudn't give a toss about chocolate though. If I never ate it again I wouldn't be bothered at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)
I'm much more of a savoury man myself
I don't like chilli chocolate. Strange considering how much I love chilli in everything else.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Even...
there?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)
don't be silly

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:58, Reply)
This
I can't stand them myself - nuts - but she fucking loves them. I reckon if I presented her with that tower on a tray off the old "oooh, ambassadeurrr" advert she would actually spontaneously orgasm
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)
then you should definitely give it a try

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)
And then say "Ooh, hold on a minute luv, Mr Kipling's on the doorstep with the Man from Del Monte."
Norfolk would be flooded!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)
If I do that I bring myself one step closer to obsolesence
She doesn't want kids and we don't have a lawn to mow. If she discovers a tool for opening awkward jars she'll have no use for me at all.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)
she already has a tool for opening awkward jars

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Bazinga!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Very good

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:01, Reply)
You fat wanker.
I haven't got time for this...
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)
What do you have time for Tuggers?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Bloody work.
It is ruining my life, you know.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Fatness, and wanking.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)
You gargantuan, rotund, corpulent, distended porcine bastard!
I had spinach and ricotta tortellini with putanesca sauce last night, c'est tout.

I guess PE and SP are analogous in the sense that they defined a genre, but that's as far as I'd go.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)
*loves putanesca sauce*
Agree with me Labs. It will wind up P Dizzle.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:22, Reply)
I only discovered putanesca sauce recently
It's the fucking best!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Me too.
Bless those little anchovies.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Anchovies, chili and olives
Wonderful combination.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)
I've not had this as yet but will now change that

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)
The Lloyd Grossman jar of putanesca is rather nice

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)
*puchases*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Puttanesca sauce
also contains capers, doncha know......very important ingredient...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)
you like anything to do with whores

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)
It's why I like your mum

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I doubt there's that much left of her now
but I admire your persistence.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:46, Reply)
I have one of those painful infected fingernails
It looks normal but is extremely sensitive to pressure. I could MTFU and stick a pin in it or I could moan on here
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Ooooh, nasty
Moaning every time mate. You'll get LOADS of sympathy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:24, Reply)
I got zero sympathy from the wife
She kept trying to grab it and pop it, then called me a wimp. All pain is now compared to her impending chilbirth and so doesn't count.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)
This woman has clearly never trodden on a plug

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Or on lego at midnight.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)

nasty matron
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I had a mansize portion (i.e. 2) of chicken fricassee
with extra chili, gorgonzola and bell pepper. It was delicious but I did too much and just had to lie around until it had digested a little.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:29, Reply)
FUCK
someone has taken the laminator and hasn't returned it to reception!
FUCK, I'm so glad everyone in the office has been sent an arsey email about it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)
This is worse than war crimes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Some days I don't like working in a big office
but then other days I fucking loath it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)
I see what you did there

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)
what did you say in the email?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Not me, I would have been much more subtle.
the email read:
"as you're all aware, equipment in the reception area is not to be removed.

Please return the laminator immediatly"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:40, Reply)
what I said was funny
because it made out that you are the sort of person who sends emails like that.

better than here though. if you want a sharp knife in the kitchen you have to sign it out of facilities because someone once pricked their finger on one while it was in the dishwasher.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)
At BBC Scotland
if you want a coffee you have to ask one of the staff to make it, you can't make yourself a hot drink because of health & safety. For fuck's sake.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)
At BBC Scotland
if you want a coffee you have to ask one of the staff to make it, you can't make yourself a hot drink You can't even smack up by yourself in case you burn yourself on a hot spoon or OD because of health & safety. For fuck's sake.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)
'smack up'?
Is this Brass Eye?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)
As soon as I saw that length of strikethrough I assumed it was Gonz

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Now monty will happily testify to my poor spelling, but Gonz?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Gonz Martin 32 from Ipswich a telecommunications analyst.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:57, Reply)
FUCK OFF
You can accuse me of being from many places, but not Ipswich
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Or Chesterfield.
Even if it does have the correct type of spire.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Ms Foxtrot was most intrigued by that spire
I advised her it was a good example of what happens if you give monkeys the option to build unsupervised
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Unseasoned wood innit

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Well, yes
That and the monkeys
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)
That is because
if they let them make their own, they invariably add Buckfast and nothing gets done.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)
And even then it's only the one sober member of staff can do it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)
RE: Which fucking CUNT stole the fucking laminator

Dear all,

please could whoever took the laminator from reception please return it before I rip off your skin and use it as a wank rag to clutch of cunts.

Kind regards

Chompy
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)
I got pleasantly drunk last night
Then came home and ate onion rings.

Alt: I don't know how you have the cheek to talk about noms with a post like that
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)
It was a restaurant review.
Not a sandwich description.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)
it was a chance to gloat
No denials
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)
I absolutely do deny it was gloating.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)
What if I get a sandwich in a restaurant eh? WHAT THEN?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Then you're a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)
I like a steak sandwich for lunch every so often.
Don't oppress me
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:58, Reply)
does not liking Public Enemy make me a cunt as well Monty?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)
I'm not a huge fan of them, myself.
I could name 100 late 80s hip hop acts that I consider to be way better than them.

Chuck D is a monotone, whinging dullard with little in the way of finesse or style that appeals to me. Their beats were brilliant and Flavor Flav a great showman.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Anyone could be a great showman if they were on that much smack
Although I do concur. I'm surprised that you're not a Chuck D fan. Purely out of interest, which MCs do you particularly rate? Obviously you are aware that the answer "Puff Daddy" will be met with the internet taking out a restraining order against you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Then you are not in a restaurant
A cafe, pub or brasserie but not a restaurant
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Now I'm pretty sure you're not a total twat
but that post is pretty hard evidence in the "twat camp"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Twat camp sounds awesome

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Unlike you - a 'camp twat'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Too easy
Beneath you. No, not ME. You wish *snaps*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)
You're not fooling anyone.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I think that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me!
I suppose I mean Mcdonalds classifies itself as a restaurant...but maybe there should be another classification.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)
I ate and drank to my heart's content yesterday.
And when I'd tired of wine, I went on a covert mission to the shop for two cans of Coke. I haven't done that for ages.
It was nice just knowing someone else was doing my shift at the pub.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:51, Reply)
My boss just came over to give me a ticking off
Because I didn't fill in my timesheets on Friday. I explained I simply forgot and did it first thing yesterday morning. He went to give me a mock slap on the wrist, but at the last second I flipped my hand up and scored a highfive instead.

BOOYAH! Highfive from my boss even though I done made a mistake!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)
This has amused me greatly.
Thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)
It amused me no end
Confused him at first, but he's a sound boss.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)
thanks labs
you just reminded me to close off mine. if we don't record SEVEN HOURS a day as a minimum, you get an emailed bollocking by 12pm the next day... hitler was less harsh on his inmates than this...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)
I always forget to do them on a Friday
Because by lunchtime all I'm thinking about is leaving the place.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)
why do you put vegetarians and bumlords in the same bracket, monty?
we could be about to have our very first tiff. online.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)
because they are both fundamentally wrong-headed

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)
chewing sinewy rotting animal carcass
that's what is wrong in the head.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)
if it's rotting then you are doing it wrong
on the whole, meat is delicious and nutritious. Unfortunately your malnourished vegetarian brain won't allow you to comprehend that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)
It's too weakened too compute properly, I expect.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)
you
you're on my List!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Your 'would' list?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)
NOT
ANY


MORE
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)
*spots opportunity for smuggery, raises hand*
I fucking LOVE vegetarians
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

sm b
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
bindun

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
*cries*

*mops up tears with bacon sandwich*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)
I always feel a strong compulsion to stick up for vegetarians, despite not being one myself
What REALLY pisses me off is when someone says "I'm vegetarian, but I eat fish". Well you're not fucking vegetarian then are you? You're pescetarian. It's like saying "I'm monogamous, but I have the odd sex affair".
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Growing up, we ate meat no more than a few times a week.
Taunting vegetarians is simply a hobby of mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)
mine too
because it's so easy

also, they are missing out on some really very fucking good food.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)
On the other hand
I don't know a single vegetarian who isn't a top-notch cook. I suppose you have to get good with flavours.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)
I do.
He lives on fake bacon, fried eggs and Linda McCartney pies. Basically like a lorry driver but with meat substitute products. He's a fat cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)
most of the ones I know tend towards this type
not quite as extreme, but definitely in this direction.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Bizarre
All the veggies I know cook amazingly good food
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Yes you do.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Oh yeah, you did mention your "open, heat" attitude towards cooking

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)
I am a genius with eggs
Nothing else though. I hate cooking.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Good job your birthday present will likely kill our appetites then

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
I used to work with a veggie whose idea of vegetarian cuisine extended as far as
chocolate, cheese, cream cakes, and crisps.

Perhaps not surprisingly, she was fat as fook.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Cutting out so complex a protein to break down as meat
and still being fat is actually quite an achievement
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Yeah, she could barely reach her keyboard for her enormous baps
And I'm not talking about the ones she filled with crisps for her midmorning snack either.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
You mean the nosebag?
Very popular amongst lazy bloaters, I believe
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Baps are rolls (or buns) in Scotland.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)
For some bizarre reason I thought you said bags
Apologies
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)
yeah, but they get loads of sausage

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Falsehood
However, does that make a vegetarian bumlord right-headed, via the well-know "two wrongs make a right" ruling?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)
that's not how it works
it obeys the principle of superimposition
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Words of three syllables or less, please
Lived in Norfolk 13 years now. It gets to you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)
They are almost interchangable words.
'Fuck off you fucking vegetarian, Crow' for example.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Allow me to explain with a Venn Diagram

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)
*applause*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Fucking brilliant

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)
*sends to all vegetarians I know*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)
IGNORE DRUM
being banged RIGHT HERE
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Gah! Fucking work firewall
Stick it on my FB page. I imagine Ms Foxtrot will LOVE that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Holy shit, you actually did
Very good
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Ask and ye shall receive
And thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)
I used to work for a chef who was convivnced that all veggies were lesbians
irrespective of their gender.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)
It's a sound theory.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)
You worked for Gordon Ramsay?
He hates vegetarians and women who won't fuck him too.

I can also assure you that this theory is inaccurate, in at least one case.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)
She is in the lesbo cupboard, with a marrow

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I am becoming increasingly tempted towards a sapphic way of life
So maybe he's right?

I don't think it's the vegetables though, it's more to do with the fact that I'm sick of idiots.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)
guess what?
a lot of women are idiots too. At least men aren't irrational
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I'll say it again
Men are shit, women are crazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)
This may be the most succint-yet-accurate definition of gender relations I've ever seen

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Men are from bars
women have no penis
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Amusing
but less descriptive
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)
It's my motto
I need to trademark it and maybe write a book. One of those small pocket ones that expensive gift shops sell.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)
This, literally with knobs on.
Dividing up idiots/not idiots along gender lines is the act of an idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I agree with the idiots bit
but not the irrational. They're as bad as each other
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I was exaggerating somewhat
but I'd definitely say that women have the edge on irrationality
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)
I don't think so
most of the things men point at as evidence of irrationality or stupidity, are simply examples of a mindset that men have as well directed in a direction men don't think is worth pursuing
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)
I submit that no man has ever got in a mood with their female partner
because of something they know full well they only did in a dream
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)
That's hardly a widespread female thing!

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Yes it is

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
No it isn't
I had a dream based on The Omega Man but with zombies, didn't make me wake up and think I should stab people in the head

/female logic haha

But seriously, it's not widespread.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)
there really is no room for any inconsistency in a discussion with you!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Yes it is
She didn't speak to me for a whole day cos of what I'd "done" - in a fucking dream.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Yeah, but they have tits
Which is a win.

I'm sorry, I spent the weekend ignoring texts from an over-amorous married man and a wannabe rapist.

So I'm indulging in a little bit of misandry today.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Fuck off
I've already told you I'm not married. And what are you doing giving Chompy your number?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)
I think a ZING goes just....about....here

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Ugh, seriously - the married guy is disgusting
Permit me to quote (this is just after he confessed he was married with 3 kids):

"Hi Bella. I currently have a large smile on my face that and interesting and beautiful girl would even speak to me. Morals are curious things and to some extent flexible in my mind. Does that make me a bad person? I have to say I would like us to see each other again on some basis, even if only for conversation. Meeting you has awakened something in me that has been dormant for a long time. xxxxxx"

That message was actually about twice as long, but mainly carried on in the same vein.

Then he sent 10 more messages (I didn't reply), inlcluding one saying "To be brutally honest, I want you to be my lover and my mistress xxxxxxxxxx"

*vomit*
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Christ, he doesn't know you at all, does he
I'd strongly advise no response at all, but if you were to respond, I'd go with "it's been a long time since you tried it on with a 21-year-old, hasn't it?"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)
I eventually sent him a message that said
"I do not fuck people with kids. Stop texting me."

Nothing for nearly two days now. Yay.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)
*hides kids*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)
what an arse
"Morals are...somewhat flexible in my mind"

complete twat. have an affair if you want, but don't try and justify it by discussing your morals.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Agreed
The last thing anyone wants to engage in during an illicit sex affair is a discussion as to how what they're doing is OK really

So I'm told
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)
true
It's important to revel in the wrongness.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)
He's a keeper.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
In some ways I respect vegans more
At least they have courage in their convictions. That is assuming the veggies reasons are along the lines of not wanting to kill fluffy animals
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)
those are stupid reasons
the only acceptable one is "I don't like the taste/texture of meat" and even then they are being dumb because it's not all the same.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Hang about
Not eating meat, or wearing leather, etc, because of a belief that animals are entitled to not have to die for it, is a stupid reason?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)
yep
it's natural. We've just taken it further because we have the ability to do so.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Elaborate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)
I'm afraid I'm right with Vipros there

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)
I think you and I have had this discussion
If I were vegetarian and you tried to get me to eat meat my reply would be curt in the extreme
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
I wouldn't shove meat down a vegetarian's throat
and the one time I changed a vegetarian I was remorseful in the extreme. I still think they're wrong though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Two questions
Why do you think they're wrong? And why did you do it if it made you so remorseful?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)
because she can't back down when she thinks she is right
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)
You may have a point :)
I only did it as a joke, but because he was going out with me and mumbling about love he did it.

Edit: to clarify I didn't do anything really horrible, like ask him not to be a vegetarian, or threaten to stop dating him. I did offer him a piece of one of the best steaks I've ever had.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Fair enough
If it was only an offer then it's his decision whether to stick by his beliefs or try to impress a girl
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)
I still felt terrible
because we split up a month or two later
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Well, I wouldn't offer Ms Foxtrot meat
because I know her well enough to know it would be faintly insulting. But I fucking well SHOULD know that much by now. You weren't to know how he'd react, really
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)
If God didn't want us to eat animals
he wouldn't have made them so tasty.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
you've surely heard the whole of the argument before
eating meat is a natural thing, a lot of other animals do it.

Mankind got where it is by adaptation and by making use of the resources around us. Animals are one of those things.

I don't buy bacon from Denmark for example, because they treat the pigs rather badly, but I don't believe that we are wrong to eat them at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Yes I have heard them all before
an you make a good point about evolution, however as independent people we are entitled to individual opinions. It's no more stupid to avoid meat because of a belief that animals are entitled to live than it is to have faith in the teachings of the Bible. Although I imagine you'd be quite happy to tell someone they were stupid to believe in god too, so this may be an "agree to disagree" thing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)
I don't object to people having their opinions
as long as they don't object to my opinion that they are stupid and/or delusional
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)
So you expect people to be fine with you calling them stupid?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Of course. He is VIPROS! Hear him roar!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)
He's lucky that vegetarians are usually scrawny wimps, eh

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
*shrugs*
most people are stupid

seriously though, I have what is commonly referred to as tact. Even if I do think someone is stupid, or don't agree with their views I don't necessarily feel the need to call them out on it. Particularly if it has nothing to do with how I interact with them.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
*tries to remember that B3ta is no place for tact*
Otherwise you'd have disproved yourself above, there are at least three vegetarians posting at the minute. It is hard to argue with your point about gross human stupidity, though. Too much evidence backing it up.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)
I am under no illusions that I would persuade them to change
and nor would I try. I'd inform them that I think they are missing out, but no more than that really.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)
I wouldn't
Red rag to a bull. You'll end up in a protracted discussion about the nutritional benefits of various grains and pulses you've never heard of (best-case scenario) or animal rights
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)
thing is
I don't have a problem with all the grains and pulses and stuff. Things like quinoa are quite nice.

But meat is fucking lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I know, I know
I actually had quinoa for lunch yesterday. Simmered it for a while with some diced brocolli and boullion. It was really nice. But I'd rather have had SHARK

The problem with living with and cooking for a vegetarian is that meat is considered poor form. I do find it heightens my appreciation of it when I get it though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)
my ex was mostly a veggie as well
although she did eat fish, and if pushed chicken. She just didn't like meat, but unfortunately for her was allergic to peppers, and hated things like aubergine.

If she hadn't been a big fan of fish I couldn't have gone out with her for 2 and a half years.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)
the difference is though
on b3ta everything is fair game. My political sympathies, Bella's vegetarianism, AA's latent tranny status
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)
indeed
it's refreshing to have a place where you don't have to hold back. I wouldn't have to with my friends, but we are a fairly homogenous bunch when it comes to our views, so I don't have to.


(strikethrough away)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)
That said, we seem to have managed a serious discussion
in which no-one called each other a cunt. This place has CHANGED
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
you've just never had a prolonged serious discussion with me
you cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Probably not, no
Shitbag
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)
*sighs* I'm tired so I'll go for the easy one
genous +sexual
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
My mate is a death metaller.
And apparently part of the scene at the moment is a drift towards militant veganism. He has countered this with a t-shirt carrying a representation of human dentition and arrows pointing to the canines with a legend of "Explain this Motherfuckers." I lolled.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Has anyone countered him with
A t-shirt with a picture of a brain on it, saying "explain this, motherfucker"?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)
Hahaha
Excellent work
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
That would be pointless.
I said he's a death metaller. His counter argument consists of one word. "Pandas". As far as he is concerned that's it. This also makes me laugh but mainly at his simplicity.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:32, Reply)

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