It is nearly the weekend
Any of you exciting internet people doing anything exciting in real life?

I have to work on Sunday, but tomorrow I will be taking the dogs over the moors

Alt WKD blue - good or bad?
(CheatingRabbit, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:30, 273 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

G'mornin'
Tomorrow, if the weather holds, I will be overthrowing the government. And by "government", I mean "the fucked-up mess that was once and will soon again be our veg patch".

I know how to live.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:33, Reply)

I'm going to give my car it's annual clean.

( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:36, Reply)

It is annual clean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Shall I kill myself now or wait till after work?

( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:04, Reply)

I think now may be best.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Well I've done the wages so OK then.
*goes off to play on the motorway*
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I've spent the most of the last 24 hours looking after one of the girls in halls.
I had to take her to hospital this morning after two night time ambulance calls came to no avail.
So tonight, I am locking my door, and people can get as fucked up as they like, but I am doing NOTHING.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:38, Reply)

you are a caring person..
What are you doing in this den of depravity?
(CheatingRabbit, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:45, Reply)

I'm here for the cookies and the lulz.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I shall be indulging in a bit of fornication with my GF
That will be briefly exciting.

Why don't you drink a grown up drink, like meths or lighter fuel?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:42, Reply)

YOU'VE GOT ANTIFREEZE
No, you should never mix your drinks!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:43, Reply)

But I had some cider and a glass of red wine last night.
Does this mean I'm going to die?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:46, Reply)

You are definitely going to die, yes
Whether this happens soon, or as a remote consequence of your alcohol ingestion, I cannot say.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I appreciate this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Fuck me, a film we both like
That has NEVER happened.

How are you today squire?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:04, Reply)

not bad. back hurt a bit this morning
but seems better now, even before painkillers kicked in. I'm on the mend!

can't wait for the weekend. How are you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Good thank you mate
Also looking forward to the weekend, especially if the weather holds. Good day of sport tomorrow, even if I will be limited to following the cricket via live text. Sorry, I appreciate this is not something you give a shit about.

Hope the back continues to mend and doesn't affect your weekend plans
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I don't mind other people enjoying watching or listening to sport
cheers buddy. It certainly seems like it is getting better. Another gentle surf will see me right
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)

That sounds like a bad combination to me
but then I know absolutely fuck all about aurfing, so I'll assume you're right and wish you all the best with it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I was gonna suggest petrol.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:44, Reply)

i am on a 3 day course
It will be fun and i love my classmates but last night's ball finished at 3am and i have no idea how i am going to keep my red little eyes open.

And i sound like i smoke 50 a day. Which is kind of novel, opening my mouth and having a gruff old man bark back at me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:45, Reply)

but thing of the sexy growl

(CheatingRabbit, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:55, Reply)

+er
OK!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:05, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

NEWS JUST IN
I strongly suspect that New Zealand are going to get absolutely fucking battered by South Africa today.

As you were.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I'll take a pounds worth of that action.
I'll give you said pound, if what you say turns out true. You owe me if its a New Zealand victory.

Deal?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Yer on
I don't think the Black Caps have got anywhere near enough batting to cope with Steyn and Morkel. Should at least be a better match than Wednesday's non-event though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)

We will see.
When is kick off?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:55, Reply)

Half an hour ago
NZ won the toss and opted to bat. Smith said he'd have done the same but the Saffers are making a mockery of the idea that it's a batsmen's wicket - Guptill and McCullum are back in the hutch already. Kiwis 17-2 off 7
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

It has been pointed out to me that whilst the Saffers are fielding five specialist bowlers in addition to Jacques Kallis,
New Zealand have Jacob Oram batting at NINE. So they have a significantly shorter tail and some serious biffers down the order.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Alt: Good in Cheeky Vimto, bad solo

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Is Cheeky Vimto the name of a surprisingly decent band Craig David was once in?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Like you don't know ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:05, Reply)

I am mortified by such a suggestion
I may be many things, but an r'n'b fan I am not

(excellent comeback though, take three points)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I'll be razzing down to Reading this afternoon...
.. to visit my daughter's B/F who's just been discharged from hospital. He was knocked off his motorbike on the M4 by a BMW-driving fucktard who decided that actually looking for other road users was beneath him.
Fortunately, said B/F rolled down the M4 without hitting anything (or being hit by anything) and only sustained some 'Samui tattoos' and a hole in his left shoulder where the laptop in his rucksac shattered and sent some sharp plastic bits through his jacket.
Rant over - Aaaand breathe!

On sunday it's the rehearsals for 'Belmstock' - the mighty Belmers are playing a local pub on the 31st with some guest performers (most of whom haven't played in public before). Could be a looong day.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)

I wish I could see that.

( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Well......
Me (the unfeasibly wide and lardy one) and Mikey-the-newly-svelte would love to have you (fnaar fnaar)!
Mind you, we'll just be (to quote the late Bill Hicks) 'Plastering on a fake smile a ploughing through this shit one more time'.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Is the BMW alright?
I do hope so. Was he performing the usual undertaking maneuver at 90 as per most bikers on the motorway?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

The BMW sustained very little damage
However, as the police sergeant investigating the case commented to me just yesterday 'Completely the BMW driver's fault - nothing the biker could do, the car driver just didn't look. We're pulling his 'phone records and, if he was on the 'phone at the time, we'll throw the book at him'
CCTV on motorways is a good thing - not so good if you're a fucktard BMW driver.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I am a fucktard and a BMW driver
but I do use my mirrors and even indicate too!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I'M WEARING SHORTS
I am awesome today, I weigh the lightest I have done in about 6 years, it's sunny outside and my hair is standing proud and firm. After work I'm driving to London to get drunk and be the best looking dude at the Electric Ballroom.
Alt: Good. After exhaustive scientific research I can so with no uncertainty that six bottles is the limit whereupon it goes from tasting lush to making me feel ill.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Awwww
You sounded so sweet and happy and I was all like "You know what? Labs *IS* awesome".

Then you ruined it by saying you like blue WKD.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I haven't had any in years
Not since the days of 2 for 1 in the Krazy House.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Too late.
I have already shifted you to the 'not all that awesome really' list.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Fuck your list
You can't dampen my high today.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

* high high five*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)

*high fives back*
BOOM!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)

You get some points back
for your 'I just don't give a fuck' attitude. That, I approve of.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I bet I can....

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

You can try
But I'd rather you didn't.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Because you know I'd suceed.
Dunno if I'll come out to play later though I am pretty tired.

On the other hand I have found some elctric blue nail polish....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)

*succeed
*electric
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

You should totally post about how you just corrected me online

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Come out to play after pubdrinks tonight
You know it makes no sense, but will be fun!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Dude I refuse to work hungover in a basement
Also I've seen way too much of you recently, not sure if I could put up with another eight hours
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

But I really want to see Thin Baldmonkey Clone dance around you again!
You suck.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I do suck
However facebook tells me my friend may be living in London which would fucking epic as I haven't seen him in agggggeeeeees

I still hate facebook though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I'm going to Lahhndahhn baby.
I'm going to see BB and mix with all the unwashed liberals as we piss off decent hard-working folk by protesting against the ideological demolition of the welfare state and public sector.

However, My body hates me and I am severely displeased.

Alt: Bad. Unless it's christmas and you mix it with port. That is acceptable.

/barmaid
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

No wonder your body hates you.
Stop all that rolling around on the floor - it's not doing you any good.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Morning sexy
Still suffering?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Worse than that.
My body decides to scare the life out of me by refusing to let me ride the cotton pony for nearly three months, then yesterday, *BAM*. No proper sexehtiemz this weekend now :(
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)

One up the bum
No harm done, eh Darth?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Not any more
It's like waving a wand in Hogwarts nowadays
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

good imagery

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Cheers
Has its drawbacks though. Shat myself the other day, didn't even notice until I sat down
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)

4/10

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Hang about
What the FUCK just happened?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

OMG

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Well, you weren't going to mark yourself.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

He's done more than mark himself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)

5/10

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)

It was only a 4/10

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Oh bollocks
At least you know you're not up the duff... *scrapes barrel of potential silver linings*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I knew that already.
I really would not wait three months to ascertain that that was not the case.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Yeah I didn't think that was likely
I was just trying to think of ways to cheer you up. You'll be even more pent-up and frustrated tomorrow so can get some really good venting going on...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)

why the cunting blue fuck
would anyone want to announce to a load of randoms on the internet, most of whom are male, that their retarded uterus had woken up just in time to release 3 months of manky blackberry clottage on poor unfortunate unsuspecting london?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

because they would appreciate that no one cares

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:29, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1132564

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1131036

What's the matter, Swipey? Did you have to touch a commoner on your way to being VERY IMPORTANT today?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

*gently steers the pair of you towards a paddling pool full of mud*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

*sets up the slow-mo camera*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)

mud is good for one's skin
thanks vips
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)

mud blood
CARRIE!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Second click of the day
for "blackberry clottage". Lovely
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

If I have to read about sport then they can read about my uterus.

( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Is there a match on up there tomorrow too?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Urgh, and I'm well pissed off at myself.
In my head I was all *simpering girl voice* "Oh well, at least I get to spend some time with him". YUCK.

Aye, I'll probably end up headbutting a copper before the day is out.

I'm in a fair good mood though, getting excited now :)
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Good to hear (the last part)
Headbutting a copper may be tricky unless you get a co-operative one who doesn't mind holding still while you set up your stepladder.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Heyyyy
I'm not *that* short!

Plus, I suspect someone will give me a foot-up. It's brilliant anyway, I hadn't told my dad why I was going down - he really is quite staggeringly right wing sometimes, but I finally told him last night and he was really supportive of the whole thing. I had expected him to do a Monty.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:45, Reply)

That's fucking brilliant
Can Yorkshiremen be right-wing now? Very pleased for you hon
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)

He does his best!
I was worried he wouldn't give me the time off work :)
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I forgot he was your boss
How remiss of me. When are you back?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Sunday, only going overnight.
Just doing all my final planning now.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)

No offence, but if you get in the way of me driving to Cambridgeshire for the weekend i will run you over

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I thought you were having an extra night with BB?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I am
The original plan was to go back Saturday night - so no nights in That London.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Misapprehension on my part
Bad Darth Foxtrot. I expect excellent tales of your weekend on Monday.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I shall file a report in due course.
I can't decide what to wear :(
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I absolutely did not see that coming

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Shut up.
I meant from a practical AND sexy point of view. I need clothes that are suitable to be kettled in, if that happens, and layers. I also need them to not be too distinctive, just in case. I need to find a plain scarf in case they decide to go CS-happy again. And there's a group I'm aligned with that are wearing green and purple, so if I could find some things in those colours, I'd be happy. I don't think I have anything that fits all those criteria though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)

This is not something I can say to many of my friends, as you may have assumed
but you think too much.

Kidding - very glad you're taking all practical issues into consideration
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:23, Reply)

You expected him to
not actually give a flying shit but assume a position opposite to yours anyway, merely to watch you splutter indignantly like an ill-informed student, and all simply for his own childish amusement?

Nice work, Dad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)

*checks*
No, my dad knows I'm capable of engaging in debate without resorting to 'spluttering like an ill-informed student'.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)

You should try that on here, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Tonight I shall be on the rampage, I suspect.
Saturday, weather permitting, I shall open every door and window in my grotty little hovel and do some spring cleaning, I shall then potter up to Broadway Market for the farmer’s market, where I shall purchase some deli-style treats and a black pudding scotch egg. I shall have a pint at The Dove and then return home, scoff my treats and then either stay over at my daughter’s* or do something quiet, ideally with Lusters.

Sunday is daughter day, after which, joyful and cheery as I always am after seeing her, I intend to cook Lusty a nice meal.

*this depends entirely on how the letter I wrote my ex yesterday is received. I’ve had it reviewed by rational people who tell me it’s fine – but I may well have opened the gates of hell anyway. Wish me luck.

Alt: I beg your fucking pardon?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Good luck. What did the letter say?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:03, Reply)

It just said
"A modern-day warrior mean mean stride, today's Tom Sawyer mean mean pride" over and over, formatted like a letter, like Jack Torrance was writing to complain to his local council that the binmen hadn't taken his green wheelie bin for a month now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I like this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Thanks, that makes perfect sense.
*Is none the wiser*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Best if you don't know, old chap.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)

It said
1)I would like to see the research you have done re schools which you have repeatedly refused to show me. I would also ideally like to sit down with you one evening to talk about it, which you have also refused.

2) I would like my daughter to start staying over at mine regularly, which you have refused. She has all the necessary facilities inc toys etc and would only be 5 mins from home. You let me look after her at yours and even take her to a boisterous party recently so clearly you've no objection to how I look after her - please give me your objections in writing.

3) I want to take her to her gradmother's 60th birthday lunch , which you have refused. This will be a polite, genteel affair and a great way for her to get to know the half of her family she barely knows.

I want all your reasons for objecting to the above in writing within 7 days, you fucking Greco wanker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I think the last line
sells the letter. Sweet, calm and rational
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I've also enclosed a 'bot dog' to show my distain.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

You get the first click of the day for that one sir

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Starts slow
but picks up towards the end.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Greco?!
Monty, don't tell me you sullied yourself with a filthy kebabier?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)

That's racist. I do not approve.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)

I believe you
*rises in Monty's estimation*

In all seriousness, good course of action as regards dealing with the mental and the very best of luck
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

I'm extremely good at writing letters etc
and I'm hoping she'll think it's a precursor to further legal action and capitulate: it makes me very sad, but I've learnt that she responds better to threats than reason.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

It is a real shame that it has to come to this
but the wording would certainly put the wind up me and encourage contact as a precursor to actual legal action. Hoping it makes her see sense and be more reasonable
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:29, Reply)

He gave her a good skewering

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Nice one our kid
How're you keeping?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Not bad thanks fella, yourself?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Yeah good thanks mate
Getting back into running, which will hopefully mean that this year is finally the one that sees me shift the last of my gut. Either that or I'm going to spend a lot of time complaining about my legs hurting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:43, Reply)

How can she go against such carefully reasoned logic?
By being mental, that's how.

*crosses fingers anyway*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

If you do open the gates of hell then buffy will move in near you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)

the usual mix of spliffs, sleeping, good food and surfing
looking forward to this weekend tremendously, despite only working 3 days this week.

WKD Blue makes me crazy, and gives me indigestion
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:02, Reply)

I cannot believe you, an adult male from the middle class, has even tried it.
I am very disappointed in you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I wasn't an adult at the time
also, I used to have a massive capacity for booze so had to drink things that were cheap.

WKD Blue is definitely one of the worst things I have ever consumed.

and we used to mix up large quantities of snakebite black with added Pernod.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Even I haven't had WKD
The adverts would have put me off even if it looked like something I wanted to try. Which it does not. It looks like mouthwash.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

it tastes worse than mouthwash

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

It tastes like those 10p blueberry icepops you used to get as a child

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Oh I really liked them
Although a drink that tastes like fondly-remembered kids' treats will likely prove catastrophic as I'll throw back one after another in a nostalgic haze and get paralytic in no time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Welcome to 2000-2004 in the Krazy House for me

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

You're never that old are you?
*counts on fingers*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I'm 29

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I had no idea
For some reason I had you down for about 25
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

I'm his evil twin

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

That'll be my youthful good looks
But sadly I turn 30 this year.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

nice sig
that's the song that really got me into Tool
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Ta!
Struggling to think what my intro Tool song was, probably Stinkfist. Aenima was the first album I bought back in my 1st year of uni.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:29, Reply)

funny that as Stinkfist got Darth into cottaging

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I remember hearing Sober a few times
got into APC because of the song Judith, and then kept seeing Schism on MTV2 in 2001
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Judith for APC right here as well
Amazing song.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Ironic
That was the song that got a tool into me

(before anyone else says it)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

6/10.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Generous, if I'm honest

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I was about to say "you are my girlfriend AICMFP" as she's 30 this year but doesn't look it
but I thought better of it.

Much better.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I'm flattered an' all
But best we drive a 4x4 in front of that train of thought, no?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Labs and Darth sitting in a tree
B U M M I N G
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Don't be daft
You can't bum in a tree. Horribly impractical
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

My best mate was the same.
In fact she still has it occasionally. Blurgh.
Cheeky Vimto is nice though. I almost killed my aunty Mary with those once.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I do like a Cheeky Vimto on occasion

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I guess you're more of a Metz man yourself

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

You probably shouldn't announce vicious racist attacks on a website
Also, I think they prefer the term "North Africans" these days.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I like this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I do too
Racism/historylol
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Bravo
10/10
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)

very good
Now do run along...
(CheatingRabbit, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I feel fucking tremendous today!
Woke up at 5am for no apparent reason, totally refreshed. Wander downstairs pre-kids, coffee on and watch the end of the Sopranos episode, followed by Ep 1 of the new series of V. Kids wake up in good mood, breakfast, shower and off to work.

Bloody lovely day out - chilly but sunny. iPod decides on Fun Lovin Criminals which suited perfectly

Turn up at work - pastie forfeit paid so corned beef pastie and a cup of coffee waiting on my desk.

I'm out tonight with Mrs Cow, Mrs Cow's daughter and her boyfriend, may mate Paul Daniels and his missus to a Thai/Indian restaurant

Life is good today
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Glad to hear it mate
You might know this, is the match on terrestrial tomorrow? Need to start lobbying for the right to watch it now if so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Nope
Must be on Sky. Pub o'clock it seems
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Shite
Fucking cricket's on Sky as well innit. Bastard motherfuckers, that's what they are
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

They do have the best coverage though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Unless you define "best" by "available to me", then yes they do
But I do define it as suggested above, so I disagree
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

PUB

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I know this is blasphemy, right
but at this point in time I'd rather watch the cricket, should be a cracking game, so the lack of Sky in my household is felt acutely. Plus I have an element of divided loyalty about the footy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)

nope
Scotland - Brazil on Sunday is on ITV though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

That should be a giggle
Can't remember the last time I saw a team rack up double figures
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

We have a couple of Scottish internationals
and one is in the team so I'll probably watch.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

You know that heavy metal band, Status Quo? Well, the son of one of the guys has Crohns and is doing a whole bunch of stuff about it.
www.telegraph.co.uk/health/8374741/Crohns-disease-not-a-very-rock-and-roll-illness.html

I'm so rock'n'roll, I can't for people to ask me about my stolls. On the other hand HURRY UP NINTENDO 3DS + STREET FIGHTER IV 3DS EDITION + PILOT WINGS ... DELIVERY MAN !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Tell me about your stolls, Gonz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

www.stollscountryinn.com/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Are you getting them delivered to work?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Nah', Ma's, she's just dropping it off now, OH GEE OH GOSH OH BOY OH MY

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Are you skiving off work to play games?
badger disapproves
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Nah', I'm going in in about 30 mins, usual morning stuff, I make up the hours on the weekend.
ITS AMAZING, SOOO AWESOME
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I'm going to a lesbian jacuzzi party

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)

And do you also have any plans for when you're awake?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I'm serious

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Take noseclips: the stench of fish will be overpowering.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I can provide the tartar sauce

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

fish soup

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Alt: what the fuck are you thinking to even ask?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I for one feel gravely insulted.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Agreed, this isn't fucking myspace

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

There are plenty of tits on here though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I'm at the reopening of a club tonight, really don't fancy it
But promised a mate I'd go.

Tomorrow I'm meeting a girl for a lunchtime drink, and will be with her for a few hours, before going home and changing into golf gear, for it is my friend's birthday, and we're doing Pub Golf (really really not looking forward to this at all)

Sunday, I'll be recovering, and likely cooking a few massive breakfasts...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

MTFU

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

+ do something this weekend that you want to do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

No one wants AA to get caught buttfucking a tramp down by the canal again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)

That's no way to talk about Darth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

6/10
Too easy for the likes of you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Hey, its still early
Just warming up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Tonight is a favour for a mate who is having a shit time at the minute, sadly
Tomorrow will be fun, but it's the person whose birthday it is that's the problem. She's my ex, and since a drunken fumble a month back, we've having a play every week or so. That ended last night, as she doesn't want to get hurt again, not a good idea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

For someone who occasionally complains about being skint you do seem to spend a lot of your time quite, quite pissed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I get one weekend a month to go mental
The rest is usually spent more casually, and my finances are slowly improving.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Good to see someone enjoying their period

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Oh god.
I woke up at 7. Had to force myself to go back to sleep due to the fact that 3 HOURS' SLEEP IS NOT ENOUGH. I will go to my lecture, go back to bed, go out again, go to a genteel tea party tomorrow and see the sis and sleep and work on Sunday. Phew.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:45, Reply)

... I wake up at 7 every day

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)

I suspect you didn't when you were at uni, though.

(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I've been waking up fairly early though as a matter of course.
It's bizarre.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

No but I worked nights 9 - 6 so I didn't go to bed till 730
Because I didn't really do much study stuff at uni. But on the times I did I suffered epic insomnia and only slept about once a week
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)

...some good reasons for not waking up at 7am there.

(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:52, Reply)

I was drunk and lost and it took me 2 hours to get home as I missed a bus and my legs were bleeding.
I got in at 4.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

It sounds like you have good nights out!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)

eeew why were you legs bleeding?
Did you borrow my razor of doom?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Keeping it classy, Lampers.
(but I hope you're alright)
(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Hahaha!
What?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Wa wa waaaaaahhhhh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I love that picture

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I am cooking dinner for a very cute man tonight
the rest of my weekend will likely - hopefully - be spent grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Blue WKD is only good as part of cheeky vimto, and that's only good for about two drinks as port makes me deathly ill.
(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Best of luck with tonight
This is date number 2, yes?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Yeah.
Eeep!
(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)

You'll be fine
Just don't set him on fire.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:52, Reply)

That would be a terrible waste.

(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I suggest
when you serve the pudding, bring it out on a tray alongside an eye-watering 15" strap-on, and then say 'oh goodness, how can that have got on there!'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Isn't Noel using it tonight though?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:16, Reply)

There's no strap on it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Monty, this is the SECOND date
She already whipped that bad boy out on the first.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Two choice for this one
a. out
b. out up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)

It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Ewww.
I know he's limber, because he's a tennis coach, but I highly doubt he's that...accommodating.
(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Oooh, are you seeing him again?
Nice work there Berk! What are you cooking?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Chilli con carne
and chocolate and tia maria cheesecake. I can't fuck up the main and I've already made the dessert so know it tastes nice.
(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Oh, that dessert sounds incredibly lush.
I'd jump your bones if you fed me that. Good luck m'dear, I expect a full report on Monday.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Hahaha!
yeah, that's the plan: an 'I've not tried too hard' main and an awesome, blows-your-socks*-off dessert.

*well, underpants with any luck...
(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:22, Reply)

RUDE

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Absolutely! :D

(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Go commando
You know it is the way forward
(CheatingRabbit, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)

good luck

(CheatingRabbit, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Cheers!
Oh, and cheers for that gaz as well :)
(berk, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:26, Reply)

My MD popped into the coffee lounge just when I was fetching a drink
I've had my mohawk for 5 years now, but he still acts surprised to see it. Today he asked "What the hell are you on?", and in light of our pathetic payrises I was sorely tempted to say "Not enough", but managed to bite my tongue.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)

oh fuck off
I know how much you earn and I would happily kill you and your entire family to make that
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)

It's all relative innit
For instance, I could earn 20k more by moving to London.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

And you'd get to live in London as well.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Well yes
Otherwise the commute would be a bitch.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)

But surely it would cost 20k more to live there?

( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Nope, I've looked into it
And 20k more is a conservative estimate. The cost of living in Stratford is not far off London.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Then I approve.
Plus more chance of meeting lovely alt girl.
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Thank you for your approval!
And you're right, that would be a bonus to moving.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)

That's ok.
I know it would have worried you if I thought it was a bad idea and you went ahead and did it anyway : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Come on, lad.
You know it's the right move for you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)

It'll happen within 6-12 months
Unless I find a cool job abroad. They're looking for computer forensics specialists in Iraq...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)

And you complained about the commute to London

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:16, Reply)

There's one for the UN as well
Working out of New York. You need more network forensics experience though, and I haven't done much of that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Yeah, I was thinking of doing that

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Do let me know if it happens sooner though mate
Buying my ticket for CombiChrist today
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Will do, though I highly doubt it'll happen before my Japan trip
Am buying mine on payday.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)

YAY
My only regret is that I'll have to drive back after the gig so will be SOBER
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I can offer a sofa to crash on if that helps?
I understand it's a schoolnight though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:23, Reply)

That's most kind of you mate
but I don't actually have sufficient holiday left to have the next day off!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:27, Reply)

No worries mate
I thought I'd already offered. Don't worry, I'll be driving too so will be sober. My friends likely won't be, as I'm giving a lift to one of them and the rest live in Leamington...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Ah yes, these friends
They hot?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Well, it's two couples (both women are hot) and one girl who's seeing a friend
She's also quite hot. So yes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Good work
Ms Foxtrot's definitely not coming, by the way (this is an unrelated matter based on her distaste for Norwegian aggrotech)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:47, Reply)

That's a shame, but understandable
I'm looking forward to it, should be a blast!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Me too mate
Be great to meet you. And the band should be alright too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:52, Reply)

They'll probably need some in Tunisia/Egypt soon as well.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I was pleased to see
some people in Tunisia burning some flags on the news the other day. I'm a stickler for tradition as you know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Oh man
That would have have a "zing" comeback! I would so do that!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Hmm, sarcasm here?
I don't want to get sacked..
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

No sarcasm!
It would have been classic!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)

You absolutely should have cracked that one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Sadly, you missed one of those opportunities where you would have said the wittiest thing possible
Rather than coming away from it and half an hour later thinking, "Damn, I should have said 'Not enough.' That would have showed the bastard!"

Although perhaps it's best that you did bite your lip. Chatting to a friend yesterday over IM, I made a holocaust-related joke in an unthinking moment and she was so horrified by this that she felt the need to telephone me to tell me that this was not on.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I knew right at the moment I thought it that it would be a terrible idea to speak it
My self-preservation intuition kicking in.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I guess at least if you had let it slip and he'd looked at you like you'd just vomited on his slippers
You could have backpedalled and said "erm...I meant, whatever I'm taking, I'm not taking enough of it..._{PLEASEDON'TFIREME}"

On the other hand, reassuring your friend about asking out some German guy by saying "Well, he should be fine as long as he doesn't cancel your dates because he has too many Jews to gas,"
is a bit harder to dig yourself out of.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Ouch
Yes, there is no way out of that one dude...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah, self-preservation was feeling far too laid back to kick in before I hit "enter"

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Hahaha that's quite special.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:34, Reply)

If you could teach that to Ian Bell and Matt Prior before tomorrow it'd be terrific mate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Ah, the perils of spending time on B3ta
Everyone outside of this forum I've told my 9/11 10th anniversary plan has been appalled by it too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 10:34, Reply)