darth is gay
al is fat and bald
psychochomp is a rapist
monty takes MAHOOSIVE drugz
bert fucks his sister
toryboy/freefair is a nonce
kroney fucks shit

what is your favourite b3ta meme?

ALT: are we cliquey??

ALT 2: what gang or clique or club would you really like to be in? and would they have you as a member?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:16, 265 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt 2: I rather fancy my chances in the old 'Hell's Angels'.
I'm not sure how well they'd react to my bicycle though. I'd have to 'style it out' somehow.

The London HA clubhouse is three streets down from me. When they have a bash it's most impressive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I can confirm the Hamburg branch of the HA are scary as fuck.
Had great fun with (running from) them though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Favourite meme is the one about you being all into material things and hot men with big pricks.
Whereas in reality, you are a carmelite nun, with limited internet access privileges.

Alt: very.

Alt2: Hellfire club, that would be fine, as they are just down the road.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

find me a woman who ISN'T into hot men with big pricks
go on, i dare you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)

*puts hand up*
Not your definition of hot anyway.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:35, Reply)

You fancy the new curate, don't you sister Rachel?
The one who liked your wimple.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:37, Reply)

He's oh so very passionate when spreading the Lord's word to his flock.
It's quite inspiring and gets her all fizzy in her vestibules.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:39, Reply)

My mother isn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Mine, definitely mine
Thanks for putting at the top of the list, by the way, appreciate it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

You really are very needy Darth.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Yes I am
Your point being?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

His point is that you really are very needy, I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I mean that's just how I've interpreted what he's posted.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Spot on.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)

It's not exactly news though, is it?
That'd be like me taking the time to post "Monty is in financial dire straits", only not as funny

*does walk of life*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)

*plays hammond organ*

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

You're wanking off him from Top Gear?
YOU DISGUST ME!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:36, Reply)

No I'm playing the funeral march
to try and encourage him to die.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

KERLICK

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:42, Reply)

The difference being that Monty can't help being broke.
I (wrongly) assumed that you could control your urge to flaunt yourself up and down saying "Look at me people, you can say anything you want about me, just don't ignore me, please."
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Erm.............Monty can help being broke.

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Monty *is* helping being broke.
OK, that didn't really make sense. You know what I mean.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Yes, you mean Monty is doing his best to further the cause of "being broke"
though calamitous financial management.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

In the long term, I agree.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Turns out you were right
Because I have no interest in talking to you any further
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Darth, get off your high horse and start being fun again
you're terrible when you get your knickers in a twist.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:41, Reply)

*untwists knickers*
You were more fun when you had a big red moustache and were having your plans for world domination foiled by a speedy blue hedgehog
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:44, Reply)

HA!
Brilliant, I didn't see where that one was going until you mentioned the hedgehog.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I did wonder if anyone would get it
Then I remembered who I was replying to :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:49, Reply)

darth is gay
al is fat and bald
psychochomp is a rapist
monty takes MAHOOSIVE drugz
bert fucks his sister
toryboy/freefair is a nonce
kroney fucks shit

what is your favourite b3ta meme?

ALT: are we cliquey??

ALT 2: what gang or clique or club would you really like to be in? and would they have you as a member?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I'm fond of Happybara's short thighs meme
Alt: No

Alt2: Secret Service please
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I want to join the Hassidic Jews.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

There was on in Tod yesterday.
Looked very out of place in the local park.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I lived right in the middle of them in Stamford Hill for 6 months.
Weirdest period of my life ever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Memes
are for gay, fat, bald, drug-snuffling, sister-fucking, shit-shagging nonce rapists.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

This list reminds me of that old lipsmacking Pepsi advert.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I didn't realise there was a "FreeFair is a nonce" theme
His embryonic personality is the gift that keeps on giving as far as I can tell
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:28, Reply)

He went on about how it was perfectly normal for a 16 year old to shag a 14 year old
or something. Hilarity ensued.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

They should make a film about that

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Or write a short story.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Perhaps our wordsmith in residence Apeloverage will oblige

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:49, Reply)

He's been published, you know.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

i still suspect he is far from what he says he is
but if he is real, you KNOW he looks like will from "the in-betweeners".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

He posted a picture of himself on here a while back
He actually does, a bit.

You'd still shag him though. If you were twenty years younger.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Of course she would, he posts on b3ta
ooooo buuuurn
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:33, Reply)

This is rather amusing
However... hands up everyone here who's plowed Swipey?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:43, Reply)

haha there's only been 3 of them in the last 7 years
and none of them are posting in this thread right now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

E-HUSSY!

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

best of all teh hussies

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)

You've slept with as many B3tans as I have humans

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)

i don't know which of us should be more depressed by this statement
mind you, one of them was so unbelievably shit that i don't count him on my "list". so really it's only 2.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Quality not quantity darling
Yes, once again my stock response is "Ms Foxtrot"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:57, Reply)

believe me
some men have neither
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I wouldn't know*
*I would know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)

you realise this basically states that you fuck animals, mate?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:09, Reply)

are you talking to me or him?
in the context of b3tans it could be either
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)

him
as in ".... then I have humans" does rather have a subtext that he's fucked non-humans. I've extrapolated that to animals as I'm not an idiotic teenage girl so I am fully aware that there, are for instance, no such things as vampires
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Anything to push up the magic number, Badger
Mmm... badgers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:16, Reply)

best of all the stripey sex toys.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Er, yeah, sex toys
I meant sex toys.

What are you doing later?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)

i never did get the darth is gay meme

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)

This has nowt to do with being gay
I'm not interested unless he's actually a badger
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Wow, that was a very unisex comment.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Fucking hell, bad as me!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)

You're perfect for each other

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Pfft
She's well out of my league.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Well you did let slip how much munchy boxes cost

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Did I?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I'm sure it was a single digit.
And we all know she likes more than one digit.
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)

likes requires

+ to notice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Please no scraping the barrel this time round, see if you can give that toria bird a ride, she might be a furry, but I'd lay money that she only smells abit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)

with the what, now?
we've snared another furry here?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:11, Reply)

He's being LOLarious, and referring to the fact that T0ria has a picture of her as an animal on her profile
Oh Rory, how your humour is able to transcend ages and be funny to everyone really is inspirational.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I don't even know what a Toria is, sorry

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Another b3tan

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Jeez, I'm only tryin to help a brother out
I'll send her a gaz forewarning her of your limited technique.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Feel free, I've already met T0ria several times already Rory

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:21, Reply)

It's the WAKI t-shirts
fat b3tan birds love a WAKI T-SHIRT
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)

It's a sad indictment, but she's out of AA's league as well
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=53027
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Don't bloody mess with Toria.

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I'm allergic to fat furries

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:23, Reply)

He's great value and should post more.
The ease with which he can whip up sluttering indignation from people twice his age who should know better is most impressive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I really hope he's a troll.
Because if he is, he's hands down the best I've seen.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:41, Reply)

For that reason, principal amongst many
I really don't think he is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:42, Reply)

My favorite meme is the one where I'm a cougar.
Alt: no

Alt 2: I'd like to join the mile high club.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Half mile high club for me.
Don't think half the height, think half the people.

Oh LOL
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

unless you've got a private plane it's rather overrated.
well, not overrated as much as challenging and not that pleasant. Unless fucking on a tiny bog that a large number of fat Americans have defecated airline food into gets your juices flowing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)

This is all very unfair. I don't fuck shit.
I freeze it and fuck other people with it.

Honestly, it's like you don't even know what space docking is. You make it sound weird, or something.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Psychochomps reply is not going to get noticed enough on the thread below, but it deserves some clicks.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1330971
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:40, Reply)

How much does a personal press officer job pay these days?
I hear Monty needs extra cash
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Oh come on Darth
it was a very funny comeback
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I thought it was very good.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I'll be honest Al, I just posted that reply and didn't click the link
Now my knickers are back to normal, I'll have a read

EDIT: Brilliant. I clicked. Even though Chompy wrote it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:47, Reply)

psychochomp admits to being a total wanker
in other news, grass is green.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I must admit to being greatly amused by how many of your Chompy-baiting remarks are on the popular page

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)

it's funny because i'm on IGNORE
in fact, as i am on IGNORE, he won't know this entire thread is here. so you can say whatever you want, DF.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)

OK then







Fucking writers block
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Chompy smells of poo!

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)

this is the kind of piss-taking we like to see

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Excellent insult there. Out of all the insults you could have used,
you went for the playground option.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

It's rediculous how cliquey some of you lot are, the amount of "YOU CAN'T MASTURBATE WHILE THINKING OF HER BECAUSE WE ALL HATE HER CUS SHE WORE THE SAME SHOES AS BLAH BLAH ON PERPOUS" is rediculous.
Seriously, I like a hell of a lot of people on here, most people in fact, but we _are_ cliquey. I'd fucking hate to fall out with the wrong person, I'd be socially banished from half my friends.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Obviously by the "wrong person", you mean me.
Being, as I am, the sites social barometer.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Oh per-lease, I think that is the worst common trate agmonst people from here.
We're all pretty insecure thinking that everything negative is about ourselves, but voicing it comes out as eaither arogance or self pittingly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Steady on, smiler, it was a joke.
But if you're interested, when it's me assume arrogance.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Alt: less so than we used to be, I think
Recent additions to the fold have had a surprisingly easy time integrating themselves. Apart from FreeFair, but that really is his own fault
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Meme's are inherently shit, they're just another way to kill time without resorting to lolfoodlol
B3ta cliques are best of all the cliques, fat shut in socially inept crippled wankers sharing such common interests as food and .... err food
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

what about sex?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

and by that you can only mean the murky world of gazzing links to 4chan porn (so it must be legal YEAH!)

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:02, Reply)

no, i was offering you sex
god you know how to make a girl feel reeeeeeally wanted
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:05, Reply)

You're getting as bad as Bou.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:08, Reply)

fucking hell
steady on.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Ain't I a stinker?

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:12, Reply)

no
just jealous!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:13, Reply)

If you think she's as bad as Bou
I dare you to get Bou back. I double dare you, motherfucker. Some of us are only just sure we're safe from stalking again now.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I wish I could, Bou was excellent value.
Especially as she mostly kept herself confined to /talk
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)

she most certainly fucking did not.
I had to change my user ID on several other things too...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Oh, other websites
psh and pshaw
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:16, Reply)

It's why googlestalking me as the mighty badger
now turns up nothing apart from here. I hope. Even though I go by that name in certain real-life areas, it's been rather ruined.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Don't take this the wrong way
but I don't see how having a Saffer mental following you around the internet can be that unsettling.

Irritating, certainly.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

she managed to get from the internet to real life
with one person and started stalking him at work. Believe me, it goes way beyond just irritating with her.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

That's impressive. She was halfway around the world.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

they have phones and post in South Africa.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Oh, how dull.
I was hoping for a continent spanning international spy-style stakeout story.

I'm very disappointed.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

In the end she found a mental Meerkan prepared to chuck his muck up her.
That settled her down for all of 5 minutes before she accused Krizzle of shagging him, because, y'know, same continent, MUST BE.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

K probably started it though.
She is a terrible bully.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:42, Reply)

BUT NOT CRICKET!!!
Oh wait, they're quite good, aren't they
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

that weirdo friz once said i looked like her
i was outraged.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)

HAHAHA

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Wicked, I knew if I tried hard enough round here I'd score chicks

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:12, Reply)

hey
there's not quite enough of me to be chickS plural :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:13, Reply)

soz and star wars

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I take issue with that, I'm not fat.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have me
I'm not sure it's a meme, but igor on talk was fucking brilliant.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:07, Reply)

That would be
Groucholols,no?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:11, Reply)

that would be, indeed, Groucho.
well, except for the Igor thing
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Yeah
He had a hump and swung around in bell towers, though I wouldn't put that past Groucho either.

EDIT not the one on talk, though. That place is scary
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)

b3ta seems clique-ier than it used to, i think
but then there's lots more people on it now
(DeeDee, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Apart from crops, and chubby fingers what else do your shove up your hole?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)

cats.
It used to be hamsters but they don't even touch the sides now
(DeeDee, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Are you another fat online chick?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)

I'm not fat
but I am online and female, yes. Are you a fat sweaty nerdy virgin?
(DeeDee, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Of course I am
Gaz us yer tits
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

why else would he be here?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

You can tell which ones are the girls on here
The boys have blue names, the girls have purple names
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Even Sammi's in that list

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

i should put something in my profile really.
Maybe a pic of my sadge with a cat in
(DeeDee, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Enduring image.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

What, like wagon wheels, hamsters are smaller these days?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I think she means her clunge
has sagged
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)

A saggy vadge
or sadge if you will.
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

surely not?
I thought all b3taladies spent 3 hours a day on kegels and their pelvic floor and could rip a man's cock off just by clenching?

I feel let down.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

that's just me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Tell that to Richard Gere

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Rachelswipe is a needy, self obsessed dullard
Who is terrified of becoming a childless spinster due to her overwhelming neurosis and inability to fully relate to anyone other than herself.

Is OT cliquey?

Yes and no. There is a lot of 'in-talk' but strangers and newbies are always welcome.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

sorry, what was that?
i couldn't hear you shouting from your pikey little house over all that traffic on the lovely main road that it overlooks...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Your name seems familiar
Are you one of these serial flouncers we seem to attract?
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

no, he hangs out on qotw mostly i think
he is full of the scottish joys of spring.

so, no joy at all then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Regular poster on QOTW
Cat dies.
Piss gets taken.
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Ooff... harsh!
Link?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

it's a fucking cat.
It would be harsh if it was a child. If you want to griefwank about dead cats online you probably deserve abuse.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

if you're a nicer human being, you might get sympathy
when you just come on here to be rude to other people and then expect people to be sorry for you because you're not fit to own a pet, well then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:41, Reply)

that's possible, but it's still just a fucking cat.
And this is coming from somebody who has had cats as pets. I like them perfectly well, but that doesn't justify Bulger levels of grief and "they were just like a baby to me" reactions when they take on a van and lose.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:44, Reply)

i agree with this
but i also think it is fucking idiotic to get that type of pet if you live somewhere that you can't let them out. i live in a second floor flat. the only outdoor spaces are my balconies. do i have pets that need to go outside? NO. much as i would like to. because i am not a selfish cunt!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Get one of them square ones in a jar that the Chinese grow.
Much more efficient when it comes to storage.
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)

i'd still be allergic to it, though
i'd have to shave it first
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Just keep the lid on

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:51, Reply)

You're allergic to pussies that aren't shaved?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:01, Reply)

i wondered if someone would make this joke
i am not surprised it was you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:05, Reply)

I might as well play the role of the creepy perve.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

It's very hard to control that, in fairness
Given that all roads are a risk and keeping a cat inside is cruel. I just object to CJ because he abused Gonz about his spelling which is a) my job and b) the equivalent of raping an incredibly intelligent but seriously disturbed puppy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:49, Reply)

i disagree
if you live on a main road, the answer is: don't get a cat until you move. simple. it's not fair on the animal and it's not fair on the drivers who are using the road.

or to put it in a more flippant rachelswipe way....... IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD A DECENT GARDEN, YOU CAN'T AFFORD A CAT.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:51, Reply)

just as likely to get run over on any road.
And anyway, cats roam fucking miles. I do see your point, but it's not that simple.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Just get loads of cats, incase a few get run over

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:58, Reply)

I see no flaws with this.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)

we lived near a main road growing up,
and we went through quite a few cats
(DeeDee, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Is "went through"
slang for running over?
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:05, Reply)

It's an excellent cover for cat-hunting, isn't it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

well,
I needed a new coat, and cat fur is so snuggly.
(DeeDee, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:10, Reply)

sssssh don't try and be rational about this
the guy is a cunt who lives in a shithole and tried to cheer up his kids for having an impoverished cunt of a father by stealing them a cat - and then he wondered why it got run over.

there is NO OTHER INTERPRETATION OF THIS STORY.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Hahahahaha
Those cats cost £400 each, but I can afford it as I have an AMAZING job, and an INCREDIBLE social life.

So, please keep pounding the keyboard with that prolapsed fanny of yours. It's funny as fuck!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:15, Reply)

did you buy them with stolen benefits?
also that just highlights your stupidity for letting them out on a main road even more.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:21, Reply)

This.
Like those idiots who get a cat and the try to feed it a vegetarian diet.
(DeeDee, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:49, Reply)

this is a good analogy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:56, Reply)

here it is
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post962943
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Cheers.
Christ, what an arsehole.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:45, Reply)

yes
yes he is.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:46, Reply)

In the interests of impartiality
from the same thread:

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post963191
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)

this was sarcasm dude

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:48, Reply)

I don't know, it was posted a fair while after the rest of the posts.
But whatever, just pointing it out. I don't care one way or the other about this spat.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:51, Reply)

yeah because posting something hours after everyone else has left the building is a genuine and open way to say sorry
oh no wait. that would be posting a new thread where people might actually see it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Please don't attempt to suggest what I mean when I post.
You simply do not have the brain capacity.

For the record, that was a genuine post, and further for the record, although it is no business of yours, I gazzed Gonz with a sincere apology for my abusive post.

And for an even further record, my back garden is fucking huge, contains many thousands of pounds worth of plants, trees and landscaping, has an amazing fucking pergola that I can hang my EXPENSIVE hammock from and two, yes, two seating areas.

Oh, and my tits are amazing as well!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)

you can try but
you just can't polish a turd.

edit - jesus, your kids get it worse than your animals. who the fuck thinks it's ok (i) to steal benefits; and (ii) to use their child to do so..... christ i hope your dumbass wife cheated on you and the kid isn't yours, no way should genes like this be allowed to carry on into the future!

(continued from previous shameful admission of fraud) "During this time i also managed to convince the University Access Fund to pay me several thousand pounds in free hand outs. The trick with that one was to bring my rather beautiful 3 year old boy with me to the assessment interview, and clear my bank account out till it was ball deep in overdraft. The female interviewer barely glanced at my file and instead coochy coo'd at my young son before resolutely writing a cheque for the maximum hand out available"

what a total and utter wankshaft you really are!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Freemoneylolz
Yes, thanks for the reminder. One of my finer moments. Just clarify, I had no option but to take my beuatiful son with me as my GORGEOUS wife was teaching at Uni, and I was looking after him on the days I wasn't at Uni. The same days I had to schedule the fund appointments for. A handy quirk of fate, and one that enabled me to buy EXPENSIVE stuff.

Gotta love University access funds!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:20, Reply)

you honestly think this puts you in a good light and makes you a good father?
marvellous. my work here is done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Woh', that's actually abhorrent, because of your fraud someone else had to go without.
If this is true, you are actually what is wrong with this country, why people who deserve benfits struggle, because other people think the world owes them a free ride.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:46, Reply)

tip of the fraudulent iceberg in that particular post, dude
he won't answer now though, he's gone to lick his remaining cat's arsehole i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Can't find it, I don't have Psychochomp's powers
Although searching for cancerjoy seems to show someone has a bit of an obsession
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:43, Reply)

there is something very beautiful and amusing about your succinct summary
but you did leave out his delightfully charming rant at gonz that was totally unjustified and which caused the piss-taking. unless of course it was gonz who made him buy a shit house in a shit location and then let his cat out... so actually, the cat didn't "die", it was "killed" because its owner has all the responsibility of a mong in a sweetshop.

(it actually does genuinely infuriate me in real life when people who live on busy roads endanger not only the animals but also drivers by letting them loose to roam around and get squashed and cause accidents.)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Oh yeah, something about a rant at Gonz also.
EVERYONE likes Gonz.

EDIT: Oh yeah I remember now, thanks for the link.

Every time someone is mean to Gonz a fairy loses it's virginity :(
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:44, Reply)

If it's losing it to me, then please bully me more.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Careful what you wish for
You don't want to endure all that bullying only to have one of Darth's 'special friends' turn up on your doorstep...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:14, Reply)

I was kind of hoping for tinkabell, can you imagine how big it would look compared to her?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Hoping she'd tink-yer-bell-end*, eh?

*_{I have no idea what this might actually mean, but it sounded a bit suggestive so I just thought I'd go with it.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:22, Reply)

It works well, congrats
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Calm down to a frenzy, love.
You don't know enough about me to attempt any kind of insight, scathing or otherwise.

However, we know a LOT about you because, your favourite topic of conversation is, YOURSELF.

So, go home, get your stockings on, plump up you AMAZING big tits and attempt to seduce you lavender scented boyfriend. A spunky fanny will ease the pain.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)

"A spunky fanny will ease the pain."
Hahahaha - surely your new sig?
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:54, Reply)

it's not intended to be an insight into your real life - who gives a fuck about that?!
it's simply a comment based on the tedious embittered drivel that you spunk out on here.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Perhaps it would be better if you were to mutually put each other on ignore?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:05, Reply)

i can't do that
how will i know when his next cat bites the dust?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

No, it was the curb it bit, although it might have swallowed some dust.
as it gets smacked by the car; and think about how big a car is compared to a cat, it would be like you getting hit by an oil tanker... Think about the speed and ratios, the oil tanker moving at 109s of miles per hour, wouldnt stand a chance. If your lucky it'll hit the head straight on for an instant death, otherwise you'll feel bone and cartridge going through skin as it is crushed beyond recognition... Until the limp mostly dead body reaches the side of the curb, looking up at the gods as it curses it's protector and master for not keeping it safely away from the dangerous main road.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:15, Reply)

maybe one day it will happen to him too
we can but hope
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Nah', humans are more important than cats, in my books.
So if it's Karma that means he gets hit by the land oil tanker; because that's what happened to the cat (keeping ratios here)... then about 499 more cats would have to do die in that way too. And that many dead cats would lead to a lot of upset PETA people.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Not for the baying mob.

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Wow, that was rude, such hatred, I'm sure your cat wouldn't like to know that it's untimely demise has lead you down such a path.
Have you thought about counciling? Maybe it could help you come to terms with it all and help you become content with life? I sure do hope you can sort this out or it will eat at you and ruin all your other feline based relationships.

I don't like your name, if you've been effected by cancer then it appears you're defining yourself by it... And if you haven't, then it is really insensitive to those that have; I'd expect more sympathy from a grief seeker if the later is true
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)

i do love you so much

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

LETS HAVE A SORRID AFFAIR !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I like this portmanteau.
Both torrid and sordid.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Christ, here comes the cavulray.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:26, Reply)

If it helps, I read your sig as "Fast'n'Laborious" and thought that would be a wicked name for my next home made video.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Isn't it slightly ironic
that you spell cavalry wrong in a response to someone whose spelling you've mocked?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:30, Reply)

are you going to apologise for this cheap dig as well?
bearing in mind your own spelling and grammar is pretty shitty up there ^^

why don't you get your wife to teach you something useful?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:31, Reply)

All bets are off.
Just you stroke your little internet puppy, he will bark at the bad men and keep you feeling safe.

My poor spelling today can be attributed to the microscopic keys on my phone, as I can't access b3ta on my pc, as opposed to a brainwrong.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:52, Reply)

reading and posting all this shit on your phone
IS a ringing endorsement of your marvellous social life, sure. i mean, it's not like you have anything better to do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Social life, during working hours?
Wake up ya nugget. I'm here winding you up, successfully, as I am having a rare slow day at work.

What fun it has been watching you unravel. However, I'm sure your AMAZING lifestyle will make it all better.

Ciao!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Ah the perfect retort
I was doing it ON PURPOSE.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 18:21, Reply)

and yet apparently i unravelled
must have been all the sobbing i was doing into my keyboard!

off out with my friend nick of the number 13 hating now, have a lovely night xx
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 19:02, Reply)

And accused of being various other posters.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

There's only one Piston though, eh

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I heard you're actually Bert.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I heard you're a cock

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

AWOOGA

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

*pats on fanny*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:41, Reply)

What the fuck are you blabbering on about now?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:43, Reply)

Stop trying to disown the greatest standup EVER
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1116154
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Oh come on, you're missing the original source
"Mr Akabusi, please come in" said the secretary as she adjusted her horn rimmed glasses and felt the sudden rush of blood to her clunge.

Akabusi strode into the room like a Titan with a clown face. His eyes were drawn to the secretary's tight black pencil skirt and loose white blouse, through which he could see a straining white bra and within that a pair of massive bristols.

"I've come to fix your pipes" announced Kriss with his deep barotone timbre filling the room like spunk filling a vagina after after a ten year prison sentence.

The secretary quickly sat on the desk and unhooked her tight Croydon facelift hairdo unleashing waves and waves of lush brown hair.

Akubusi dropped his dungerees and let his throbbing member fall to the ground. As he spied the secretary's glistening axe wound his cock stood to attention quicker than a Chelsea Pensioner at the Cenotaph.

He then banged her. And banged her. And banged her. Until the secretary was like a floppy doll covered with spunk.

As Akubusi wiped his now flacid python on some company stationery he whispered "Awooga" to the naked secretary and patted her on the fanny.

The End
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:56, Reply)

I would have linked to it but it's west ham online, for some reason.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:58, Reply)

s
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:02, Reply)

I was thinking exactly that, worryingly
does that mean I need to get a 15" black rubber cock, too?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)

It's not like a badge, badge.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Probably the FreeFair meme.
And yes, I'd say OT is a little cliquey, but not to the extent that newbies are told to sod off.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)

sod off, semi-newbie...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Sod off, you needy attention whore.
Love you really.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:43, Reply)

/feels validated
/feels the luggage
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)

a io id
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)

I certainly feel violated now.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:56, Reply)

I used to like 'Braw! Have chips with that'
Alt: B3ta is pretty cliquey but it doesn't bother me, I'm above cliques

Alt 2: I'd like to start some kind of breast appreciation clique, but I'm not sure anyone else would join
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:53, Reply)

I like breasts

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:58, Reply)

LETS CLIQUE

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:58, Reply)

*CLIQUES*
What now?
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:02, Reply)

www.facebook.com/pages/I-like-breasts/213297715357290
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)

That seems to be dead
I did join a facebook group called 'I like breasts' a while ago that I figured was set up by a b3tan, then got a friend request from some particularly pervy looking fella :/
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:09, Reply)

So, almost certainly a b3tan then?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Yeah, it was me.
Don't think I friend-requested him though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Ah I wondered who was behind it
I half wondered if I'd done it myself when I was drunk
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Fixed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Hola Board!!
How are things? You all seem quite chipper today.

I am having the best working day for many a moon, which after yesterday is very welcome.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)

I'm quite chipper myself
there's at least one rather sandy vagina up there ^, though
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Not to be confused with a sadge

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Honestly, it's like he pulled down his knickers
and out fell the Gobi Desert. Fucking yurts and nomads and everything.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Excellent.
You get a click just for yurts
(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:23, Reply)

aythangyu

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Well,
let's not let them drag us down.

All positive today.

One of my colleagues just asked what I was smiling about.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Did you tell him it was sadges?

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Fo sho.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 16:25, Reply)