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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hooray! It's Thursday. A sure sign that it's nearly Friday.
Hooray! my mood is lifting. I hate feeling sorry for myself, it's so un-northern.

We have another business added to the family business empire and will soon take over the world. What are you going to do to appease me and thus earn my benevolance when this happens?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 7:53, 230 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
The usual
*unzips*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 7:57, Reply)
Physical comedy?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 7:58, Reply)
Indeed
*pulls pockets out, remembers everything*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:03, Reply)
How long before you earn a seat on Dragons Den?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:04, Reply)
As soon as my shipment of shoulder pads arrives.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:14, Reply)

shoulder incontinence
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:18, Reply)
*Kiegals*

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:24, Reply)

www.amazon.co.uk/TensCare-itouch-Pelvic-Floor-Exerciser/dp/B001S2LGH0/ref=sr_1_2?s=drugstore&ie=UTF8&qid=1317886338&sr=1-2

They've called it the itouch...
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:33, Reply)
What the fuck!?
www.amazon.co.uk/Neen-Anuform-Anal-Rectal-Electrode/dp/B00366Q5KE/ref=pd_sim_d2
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:35, Reply)
Also this
www.amazon.co.uk/Neen-021972-Periform-Vaginal-Electrode/dp/B00366JH9K/ref=pd_sim_d3
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:36, Reply)
Well these all look like things that I want to appear in my Recently Viewed Items list on amazon.
"Here are some recommendations based on previous items you have viewed"
*doesn't click*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)
Could be worse. You could have that "book" by James Hutchings in your recently viewed items.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:44, Reply)
I have
It doesn't seem to have very good reviews though...
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:47, Reply)
That's not an electrode!
THIS is an electrode: eustorecdn.recon.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/thumbnail/697x700/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/O/M/OMG_LG_1.jpg
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)
Ouch!!!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)
There's actually a bigger one
called "The Decimator" but I can't find the picture.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Oh my!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)
I'm in.
I thought of a great invention while at Monty's bash. Actually while travelling down on the train.

An anti-camel toe device that ladies slip down their gusset. Just a bit of squeezy bottle really, but for 10 quid a pop, I could make millions.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:18, Reply)
Camel toe is God's way of telling you to wear looser pants.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:23, Reply)
Maybe so, but who listens to God nowadays?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:37, Reply)
The women I'm with are always pleading with him for help
or telling him no.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:38, Reply)
Crikey, Steve Jobs has died
This isn't worth its own thread, although I'm sure Chompy will come up with one later, but how long do you give it before the jokes start, and what will be the funniest one?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:19, Reply)
Steve Jobs thread is under this one.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:23, Reply)
That's embarrassing...
My excuse is that I saw your name and was blinded to all else
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:24, Reply)
There are some attempts at jokes on Sickipedia already. They're shit.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:23, Reply)
Ah, yes, Sickipedia, how could I forget
Perhaps my question should have been "how soon before the jokes start in polite conversation"... because of course that's something we, as B3tans, would know about
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:25, Reply)
Let me guess
mainly something about Apple employees looking for new jobs?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)
AN APPLE A DAY DIDNT KEEP THE DOCTOR AWAY!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)
I'm going down to the apple store to throw rocks.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Best joke yet, albeit unintentional
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)
It pissed me off that the BBC tech correspondant
used the phrase "Ironically, the new head of Apple was launching the new Iphone just a couple of days ago".

If a professional journalist doesn't know what "ironically" means, we might as well all give up now and admit that teachers the standard of fat bobbypires are the future.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:32, Reply)
This is a very scary thought.
*googles Roedean for his daughter*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:35, Reply)
Aaah, Rodean, where, as legend would have it, all the door handles had to be moved to a higher level
to stop girls using them as masturbatory aids, and workmen had to walk around in pairs, in case they got ambushed by groups of horny schoolchildren.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:36, Reply)
I find the idea of a group of sexually predatory teenage girls extremely scary.
Particularly teenage girls with a public school accent.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)
Sexually predatory girls of any age are quite scary.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:50, Reply)

quite scary just like me.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

+and are quite scary
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)
I take it you've never been to a party with half of Cheltenham Ladies college?
It wasn't scary. *smirks*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)
it would only be ironic if the new model was called
The Steve Jobs will live forever iphone.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:39, Reply)
Or if it was discovered that presenting new Apple products actually cured cancer.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)
The irony is that there is an app on the new iphone to cure cancer
Jobs was apparently waiting for his contract to expire before upgrading.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)
HAHA
That is brilliant irony.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)
Did anyone watch "Fresh Meat" last night?
There was a very funny joke where a guy spiked his own drink with Rohypnol and while some girl was riding him he passed out, so she left her number on a rape counselling flyer and when he woke up he was worried that he might have raped her accidentally.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:40, Reply)
I think I've got to the age where comedy programmes about students don't amuse me anymore.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)
Fuck off with your self pitying shit Blousie, I'm not taking that sort of crap from you today.
The fact that they are students isn't really that important, it was more the guy asking one of his flatmates if "errrr, when I did you, was it rape?"
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)
Actually I wasn't self pitying for a change.
I was just saying I don't find this sort of comedy of interest now.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)
Bloody hell, it's just "self pity this" and "self pity that" with you now isn't it.
STOP THIS RIGHT NOW or I'll have to come round and teach you a lesson.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)
*digs out schoolgirl uniform*

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)
*moves doorhandles to a higher level*

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)
I saw an episode of that the other day
It was shit.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)
So's your face.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)
So's my Mum
...hang on
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)
*respectfully turns off Green Day record*

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)
*salutes*

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)
I actually like that programme quite a lot
despite the presence of Jack Whitehall.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Oh that's who it is!
I knew he looked familiar but I couldn't work out why.

Thanks for the tips BTW, I'll have a proper read of it over the weekend.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)
No problem.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)
I saw that
It made me laugh at Jack Whitehall's interpretation of comedy.

I felt dirty.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)
He's younger than me
I find this very odd.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Is he really?
The beard makes him look older than I do
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Yep
He was doing standup, talking about how he lost his virginity in 2005. I laughed, thinking how old that must have made him, until I checked, and saw he is a couple of months younger than me.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I can only assume that he's either stupidly ugly without the beard or believes that comedy is a 30something man's game
Ms Foxtrot's sister met him in a Norwich club at the weekend. Apparently, and this came as a huge shock to me, he's a dickhead.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Shock horror.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Overall it's not quite as good as I'd hoped it would be
but bits like the rape joke and Simon Webbs geology lecturer really made me chuckle.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)
I can't argue with that
Apart from this; Simon Robert

I think it's going for the comedy/drama angle to appeal to those who've lived through university and know it's not all a barrel of laughs.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)
I only know he's the one who isn't David Mitchell.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Ahem
David Stephen

EDIT: had you going
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)
No you didn't

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Oh POOSOCKS, I wanted to see that.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)
I feel I've already done enough to allow myself to avoid your wrath
Again, I had excellent bacon this morning.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)
I'm a bit gutted by Steve Jobs.
He was ill for a very long time though. Something I honestly believe about cirtain people, is that when they're on their last legs, they hold out for some kind of event, something they wish to see before they go. With Steve Jobs, I bet he wanted to see the iPhone announcement, he probably wanted to see a lot more, but at least he got that.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)
Also - regardless of if you like Apple products & services or not
He deserves respect for building a business with an approximate market capitalisation of £230billion.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:00, Reply)
Yup, that's pretty impressive by anyone's standard.
It's one thing to be a king of a market, it's another to create the market in itself, and another again to do that time and time again.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I fully respect the bloke for what he did even though I'm anti-Apple
I think he would have felt very pleased with his accomplishments. Mind you, he also strikes me as a the kind of the person that's always wanting more.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)
I'm not too sure, I think with most high end buisness people, there is a madness that takes hold, where nothing is enough.
But I think with him, he's content with his achivements, I think the same with Bill Gates too.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)
I don't care what he did as nearly old Apple products are old technology repackaged as fashion accessories.
At best he was a fashion designer. Take the brand new just out of the box mac on my desk. 2.4ghz dual core with 2gb of ram. That's years old tech but it looks pretty.

That said, a man has died much younger than I would expect to live which is very sad.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Hang on a minute... This business you've added to the empire isn't Apple, is it?
I, for one, welcome our new northern overlords.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Good lad!
Here, have a meat pie.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)
*cough*SHIT VEGETARIAN*cough*

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Northern meat pies don't actually have meat in them.
They are too poor, so they draw eyes on their turnips before they boil them.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)
This is class!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
I'm not eating it.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)
An animal still had to die so you could buy it!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Are you aware that I eat chicken now?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
That's fowl.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
I am
That's the basis of my "shit vegetarian" accusation
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)
I'm not eating it either
I am a good vegetarian.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I don't eat much meat
but have no designs on being a veggie
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Chicken, Cock, close but not the same.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Difference is, she's had some chicken recently.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)
I have such a bad reputation, undeservingly so.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I wouldn't say 'bad'.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)
See above.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
I'm telling Ms Foxtrot that next time she makes her excellent turnip chips

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)
You should go through the fridge with a permanent marker
and draw faces on everything before she starts prepping dinner.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Hahaha
I really, really like this idea, apart from the bit about me having to eat permanent marker
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)
If a meal didn't have a face at some point, it's a waste.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)
My breakfast consisted of sausages, hash browns and eggs.
Meat means goodness.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Mine was simply a bacon roll, but it's absolutely excellent bacon.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Check this place out, next time you're over this way.
cowmans.co.uk/

Fucking nomnomnom.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Pork, Apple & Mint sausage?
Oof, going to have to get my hands on that
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I had a Nutrigrain bar
I hate being on a diet
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Haha
Remember how I used to send you the pint pictures? Can I start doing it with food now?

Might even take a picture of the steak I've got in the freezer...
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)
You're on a diet
so you had a high sugar "cereal" bar?

I realise you're a bit thick, but can you not see the problem there?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)
He can't even see his feet, let alone a problem

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)
You should totally eat porridge now the weather is cooler.
Filling, low in fat and releases energy slowly.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Porridge is only good with 1/4 tin of Golden Syrup in though

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Funnily enough I use this as a guideline for people who can't understand my vegetarianism
"But you eat fish don't you?"
"What about Christmas? Surely you eat turkey...?"
Etc. etc.
I don't eat anything with a face.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Sausages don't have a face.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Look at his happy little face!


(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Awww how can you eat him?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Get rid of the olives, and I'll do it happily.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)
In his convenient mouth bun, that's how

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)
You appease my fucked back and I'll appease you
6 fucking nights without sleep now. I am starting to see things now that I know aren't there
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Like friends?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)
No, I fucking hate it
OOOHHHH MY GAAAWWWWD - lol.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Have you been back to the physio?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Docs this morning for painkillers/sleeping tablets
Chiropractors this afternoon
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)
You probably need to see the Chiropractor every few days
as it will keep trying to pop back out unless you keep getting massages and having it fixed for a little while.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Annoyingly it seems the pain has moved to another part now

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Something else has probably moved out of place to compensate

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Everything, it would seem

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Chiropractor?
*sigh*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)
Try acupuncture.
I was skeptical about acupuncture and then had it for pain relief when I had back problems. Still ended up having to have an op' but the pain relief from the acupuncture was better than any pain killers.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)
At this moment I'd hammer nails into my own spine if I thought it would help

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Your GP should be able to recommend someone. Some physio's offer it.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I'm having my first Mince Pie of Christmas 2011 for breakfast, with some clotted cream.
OH MY DAYZ, I'm going to marks'n'sparks later to see if they got any chocolate port.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Chocolate port sounds amazing!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)
It really is.
I have some venison steaks in the freezer too, might make a jus using it.

I love christmas so much, I can't wait to wear auterm clothing.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)
You eat reindeer at Christmas?
Santa won't be visiting you then...
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)
The ride into work was quite a lot harder today
I think my backpack was heavier, but I was wearing my cycling shorts and an old T-shirt so I didn't mind getting as sweaty as I did on tuesday.

Going home is so much fun though, I can break the speed limit for about a third of the journey as it is down a nice long hill.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)
My ride to work this morning was ace.
Really windy but at my back most of the way so shaved 5 minutes of my usual time. Going home yesterday was horrible. Soaked within 2 minutes and had 11 miles to go.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Calm down girls, he's married.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

married fat
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)
+ and lonely

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I, for one welcome our new Northern overlords.
*proffers Eccles cake*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Ahem
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1380310
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)
I posted before I read down.
I concede you the point.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)
YES! I WIN!
In your face!
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Or something

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)
You win the title of Top Groveler to our New Northern Overlords.
Just remember she doesn't like Eccles Cakes. I suggest red wine.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)
ooh, I like them.
Does that mean I have to hand over my Southern credentials?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Apparently not
The northerners below this seem to dislike them. Perhaps they are just made for export to the south?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)
I hate Eccles cake.
Just saying,
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)
I have never had Eccles Cake.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)
You're missing nothing
It looks like dead flies in pastry
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)
^this

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)
i don't think i could eat one of those nasty fly cemetery fuckers
if you were paying me per squashed fly.

when i was a kid, my dad rang home from work for something, and mentioned that a client had sent him a massive box of cakes. we were NEVER allowed cakes or sweets or anything as kids apart from birthdays, christmas and easter. so this was a red letter day for a greedy but sugar-deprived child.

imagine my fucking guttedness when the client turned out to be the company that makes fucking eccles cakes. it was a giant box of eccles cakes.

urgh.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)
It's odd, I like garibaldi, despite the ingredients being very similar
But I can't stand eccles cakes
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)
well i would never eat either
but i would imagine the garibaldi things are crunchy whereas eccles cakes are sticky and squashy and like biting into a tramps putrefying corpse?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Ah, you're more of a Chorley cake kind of girl.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Very much so
We used to get garibaldi and fig rolls every week when we were younger, that was ace.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)
But I like them
Thus making it a generous and self-sacrificing gift.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)
I have other plans for you when I'm omnipotent.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)
i thought he was already impotent?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)
You mean you're not already?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Well yes, but much MOAR plans.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)
*fears for previously well-guarded sweaty internet virginity*

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)
They are vile.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)
When I was at school
they used to do this one with icing on the top. That was nice.

/fat bitch
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Iced buns!!
nomnomnomnomnomnom!

I've made some sausage rolls with sausage, cheese and chilli in them. They are NOM
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Did you bend down to put them in the oven?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Very carefully

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)
Hahaha
*twinges*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)
A twinge would be an improvement

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)
Whats wrong with them?
I've never tried one but they appear to just be currants and pastry.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Nothing . They are very good and AA and BGB are just twenty seven types of wrong.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:07, Reply)
^ this post is twenty seven types of Wrong ^
with added bumder-ism
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Well, you'd know about bumders, what with that bloke of yours and all...

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)
i think that's on its way out, in all fairness
or fairyness, before you say it
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)
+of the closet?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)
i have my eye on a new victim, in case the current one does indeed go tits up
but this one might be too butch.

is there no such thing as a happy medium?!
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)
No, the dead are too depressing.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)
And they all watched this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQU4ohwvYjY
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)
If you're expecting an actual cake they could be a bit disappointing.
But they are OK.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Well, yes, that's true.
Then again, the same could be said for fish cakes.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Or urinal cakes

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I know.
They taste nothing like citrus either.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)
.....

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Try everything in life once, Poppet.
Except for incest and morris dancing.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)
+for fear you'll enjoy them

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Oh no
You'd never enjoy morris dancing.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I'm considering, in a vague kind of way
looking into the possibility of maybe one day taking up Morris dancing.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)
: )

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)
No sniggering at the back.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)
I wasn't sniggering.
I think its a great idea and just reminds me why I like you.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Me total lack of taste or restraint?
Or my willingness to make a tit of myself?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)
A bit of both.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Keeping traditions alive is very important, Quey.
But perhaps you should just stick to the incest...
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Have you ever met my sister?
*shudders*

Anyway, as a beardy wierdy hippy folky type I thought you'd be all in favour.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Lines have to be drawn somewhere.
And who are you calling a hippy? I'm a freak, not a hippy.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Beard + Plays folk music = Hippy
In my book anyway.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Where's Truthbert when you need it?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Fucking his sister?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)
*rimshot*
shot job
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:23, Reply)
or supermarket sponge cakes.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I'll do anything you like, babe
I'm very accommodating that way.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)
: )

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Don't tell everybody
they'll all want one
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I just read your tagline and thought it said "all pierced out" and was wondering where you had something stabbed through.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)
I'm getting closer and closer to being 'inked'
but I don't fancy getting anything else pierced.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)
You do realise getting peirced is a lot less painful and can be reversed.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Oh don't be such a big girl's blouse

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)
offer you fab fab fabbity fab fab legal services
at a very special rate.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)
I'm going to need a good nothern lawyer with some nouse.
And a shoe fetish.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Did you just call Swipey northern?
yes, I know that technically she is, but still
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I just had an absolutely awesome shit

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Me too!
We could be sisters.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Quick! Tell the internet!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I think Gonz made an app for that.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Quick! Tell Steve Jobs!

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Too late.
Have you no compassion woman?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)
You know what?
I don't think I have. Fancy that.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Tsk. Typical woman.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)
It's true, I did.
imgb.in/b5
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Still running then?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)
I thought being Northern was all about moaning?
How about a nice cup of cocoa and a foot rub?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Easy mistake to make, but try remembering it this way
All Liverpudlians are Northern, but not all Northerners are Liverpudlian.
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)
Stereotypinglols
Northern thieves
Northerners thieves
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)
That sounds nice. Are you offering?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)
offering to BGB for her benevolence

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)
I hate cocoa and I hate anyone touching my feet.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)
What about putting your feet in cocoa?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)
:(
gin and head massage?
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

massage
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)
*sings*
"sipping on gin and juice"
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)
That's better.

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)
Well, screw you then.
See if I care.

*cries*
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)
If Rachelswipe wants someone butch....
I could possibly satiate her libidinous nature.

Just sayin'
(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

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