OK, as we clearly desperately need a new thred
Nicky Names:

I was known almost exclusively by a silly nick name for over 10 years, it was to the extent than my wife and all my family knew me as this rather than my given name and my son thought it was actually my name. Looking back this was truly retarded, but it seemed to make some kind of sense at the time.


Have you ever had a nick name (b3ta user names excluded)?

Do you know any interesting stories about nick names?


Alt: I'm going round to my sisters tomorrow to celebrate my mum's birthday and I feel like an outcast because I don't like wine and so have decided to drink something I'll actually enjoy. Either mock me for my lack of class, join me in my dislike of off-grape-juice, or say something about something that made you feel like an uncultured misfit in your own family.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:00, 228 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

No, never had one
Alt: I drink beer not wine. This does not concern me, nor should it you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Well that killed that dead then.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I don't
But I have to either bring my own drinks or get my sister to go out specially, also wine seems to be the default with a meal and I'd generally rather drink water. Very occasionally I'm in the mood and I've discovered that really quite expensive wine is quite nice, but mostly it's like drinking vinegar for me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:07, Reply)

There is something wrong with the wine you are drinking then
Origin of the word vinegar:
Middle English: from Old French vyn egre, based on Latin vinum 'wine' + acer 'sour'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Well that'll be pretty much all cheapish wines then.
I have found that when you get into the £20 a bottle range they are nicer, but not enough to justify the price.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Depends what it is being served with too
Serve it with the wrong food and you can ruin the wine.
I think Stunned knows more about this sort of thing...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:18, Reply)

It's true
Syrah tastes like pickled cabbage if you drink it on its own; if you drink it with food it tastes of berries. It's bizarre.

Other wines are similar but less obvious.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I feel your pain
I can't drink wine at home as my mothers palate/taste in wine is appalling. How she stomachs such utter piss I will never know.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Urolagnia?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:15, Reply)

She's a game bird, is my Ma
but I'm pretty confident she's not in to that kind of thing.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:17, Reply)

You don't know her as well as wee do

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:37, Reply)

My nick name is Sal
It's what mr b3th calls me, almost everyone I know down here calls me that, and many of them don't even know it's not my real name.

Alt: I've never in my life met anyone else who doesn't like wine. I can't stand the stuff - there's something in the smell of it that burns the back of my throat, and drinking it is just disgusting. Over the years people have tried to tell me it's because I need to drink sweet wines, or red wines, or best quality wines. Frankly, they all taste like paint stripper to me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Have you tried drinking paint stripper instead?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Oo, there's a thought.
No. No, I haven't.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:05, Reply)

That explains why your email came from 'Beth or Sal' then, was confused about that.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

The last party I had
I sent the invitations from 'Sal/Beth/Elizabeth*'

*delete as appropriate.

Quite a few people still didn't get it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Haha, fucking hell

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I'm not quite that bad
But I can generally sympathise, I find it hard to get through a glass most times, even jus to be polite.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I can't even do that.
I think the rest of the family make up for my lack of wine drinking, though.

In fact, I'm not really much of a drinker at all. I'm not very good at it, and I usually end up being the bored one in the corner. Or the driver. Or both.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:12, Reply)

The annoying thing is that it is a nice strenghth to get drunk on
Mead I like but it's hard to come by.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:17, Reply)

One of my very favouritest drinks ever
is a coconut liqueur called Batida di Coco. it's about the same strength as a nice wine, so I can proper knock it back, but at a tenner a bottle it's not something I can do every week.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Loads of mead up here
since it's brewed on Holy Island which is but a fifty minute drive away.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

my name is Robert
people call me Rob. It makes me lol.
( rob, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:05, Reply)

You live a lolwacki life.
Is it safe again now, or do we have to reinforce the bunkers?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Fucking hell, the Overlord of b3ta himself joins us!
So...alright?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Have you considered trying out Bob or Bobby for size?
Perhaps not as lolworthy...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

...the size in question being 'Large'?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I once got 'mad bob' for a week at university
didn't stick tho
( rob, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I had a friend called "Fat Bob" at college
Despite his name being Philip. He was fat though.
True story that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I've remembered another
I used to be part of social circle that had two other robs in it. Hence people had to find a way of being clear who was being talked about. There was Fat Rob, Gay Rob and Scary Rob. I was Scary Rob which I think means I win.
( rob, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:15, Reply)

I used to know a damp Dave.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:19, Reply)

What wrong with good old
Alliteration these days,
Surely rapey Rob would have been teh winner
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Depends why they consider you scary
If they are scared that you might nonce their kids, there is less win involved.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I thought you shut down /qotw yesterday
was that on purpose?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:09, Reply)

not aware of it
if it was down it was either someone else fucking with it or just tech issues
( rob, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:11, Reply)

The old question closed but there wasnt a new one put up.
All hell broke loose, and by that I mean about 5 people noticed.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:13, Reply)

ah
just us being crap by the sounds of it
( rob, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Fair enough,
since you're handing out modding powers can I be offtopic mod?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:15, Reply)

If I vote for you do you promise not to oppress me?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:22, Reply)

To tell you the truth I wouldn't ban anyone
just get rid of the once a month thread rushes and lol heartily at the whiney gazes I recieve.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:23, Reply)

24 hour naughtystepping could be entertaining.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Actually I'd ban bert
but then he's a in real life sex offender list nonce.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I don't know what anyone would want to be a mod.
Surely you just get people moaning at you by gaz all the time? Lots of "Wah Wah Wah" messages.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:29, Reply)

type: MTFU hit send, easy.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Would get a bit tiresome after a while.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

I'll make a macro

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:38, Reply)

And Edmund.
People's hands and bank accounds are at risk.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I'd keep him, he's funny
I'd just make his sig a link to a news story about his lies.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Nah he arranges to meet up with women and he's an evident nutter.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Ok motion to ban carried.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Anyone else is fair game. No matter how knobby.
In fact Bert used to make me laugh a lot. It's a shame he flipped his lid. He said I had hands like Martin Scorsese.
EDIT, I meant fair game as in 'leave them be - you can ignore them'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Odd as it may sound I think I'd actually support your nomination
You'd probably be quite conscientious and not one likes you much so you'd be fairly even handed.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Haha!
Back handed compliment lols
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I aim to please.
All the other candidate I could think of that I liked beter were people I liked so I'd expect some bias from them, I don't think anyone really likes Chompy, even if he is right about most things, so he's actually a pretty good candidate. Also who else would want the job?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:45, Reply)

yeah but he'd also use it to be a creepy archivist of women's lovelives.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:48, Reply)

You're fired as my campaign manager.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I'm just saying.
it's alright for me now, but others may be vulnerable.
You could shatter lives with your documenting and reminding! SHATTER!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:53, Reply)

That is a risk, with great power comes great responsibility
but no one else will do it, and we do need a mod to stop the nsfw floods on here.

don't know why I'm still talking robs obviously left.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:04, Reply)

We can email him the thread.
What nsfw flooding? Oh you mean PH's tiny cock weird text thing?
NSFW, yes, ban, but just annoying, please don't ban. Some of that is funny. And it can't all be WeightWatchers and pandering on here.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:21, Reply)

This is a very good point.
* rescinds support*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Welcome to out humble thread
Oh glorious leader.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Fuck off Bert.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Beefcake from my housemate, which is annoying, as I know that absolutely everytime someone new calls me it, he's told them to.
At work I'm known as Jonesy, despite that having nothing to do with my real name, but it relates to a song by Diana Ross, covered by Bananarama (I think).

I work with a guy called Adam who also works part time in a fairly well known trance duo (in those circles, anyway). As a result, his nickname is Adamski, named after the acid house DJ. Now, as I'd never heard of him at this point, for the first 6 months of working here, I genuinely thought that Adamski was Adam's real name. Felt more than a little foolish when I found out.

Alt: I like wine, possibly a little too much. My family and I all differ in so many ways, there isn't really anything we all agree or disagree on. Dinner table debates are always interesting, as we'll all happily voice our opinions, and argue with others.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I have a mate with the surname Vinter
universally known as Vinnie. Back when he still lived at home a friend phoned and asked for "Vincent" as he had never heard him called by his real first name.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Alright Lighty
So, did you enjoy seeing "West Brom humiliate Liverpool again on Saturday?"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Sadly we couldn't match the achievements of Norwich

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:14, Reply)

+under

( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:18, Reply)

My name is basically Rory
people at school gave me a nickname of Raw carrots, which I think you'll agree is very witty.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

You don't pronounce it the Scottish/Irish way then?
I thought that was how it was spelled...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:13, Reply)

It is how it's spelt, but I gave up explaining it to people when I was about 7

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:14, Reply)

People are thick.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:15, Reply)

The Doors less successful...etc.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:23, Reply)

You have my sympathy.
I also have a normal sounding name spelt in a stupid way by parents who wanted to be different.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:19, Reply)

It's a very good name.
And spelled the right way.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Mine?
Well yes, other people are deficient, but it's a sod to keep explaining, even when I spell it people have trouble grasping it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I believe DJ has the same problem.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Ahh, yes, he's another one, isn't he?
As is Ensyme.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:29, Reply)

So am I.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Bloody hell, how many of you are there?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Mine is the scottish spelling. I am not scottish.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:36, Reply)

4, at the last count.
We should have a minibash. Tangles cam come but we all get to sneer and look down on him and he has to wear an eye patch.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Oh I see what you did there

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:43, Reply)

but with no depth perception.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:45, Reply)

It was indeed very funny.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Is your name the Scottish spelling of mine?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

*goes to FB to remember what you name is*
Yes, indeed it is.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:37, Reply)

In which case I agree with you
It is wrong.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:38, Reply)

tangledupinblueyafugginbassa?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Threadjack
While at lunch a colleague, while attempting to get someone to try something, confused the phrases "All mouth and no trousers" and "put your money where your mouth is" to get "put your mouth where your trousers are". It's funnier since the conversation was about collecting DNA samples.

Only spoiled by the top 3 most irritating laughs in the office being within earshot.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I had a rather unpleasant nickname at school
which I don't care to repeat here. Kids are cunts, rich ones even more so.
I also don't like the diminutive of my actual name despite it being what all of my family and most of my friends call me. I think I've only had one nickname which I liked, which I got from playing rugby at uni.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

"Crusher"?

( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:14, Reply)

From what I've seen of women's rugby
it was probably either Eyegouger or Clungebuster
( Kroney, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Mini B
I drove a Mini at the time and I'm also really short. I said I liked it, not that it was imaginative.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Whatever you say, Clungebuster

( Kroney, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I lolled at clungebuster

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Was it 'hooker'?
To be honest, I always assumed berk was a sort of derivative of your real name.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:14, Reply)

It sort of is
it's also the little blue dude from 80s cartoon Trapdoor, and a northern name for a total prat.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I always thought it was rhyming slang for cunt

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:16, Reply)

It is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I was wondering what the hell I'd said to upset you
it's taken me a good 5 minutes to work out what the hell you're on about. Yes, it's that as well.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

You're alright with me Ms Hunt
and I'M NOT UPSET!! ALRIGHT???
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Trapdoor was fucking ace!
I used to love watching that, even when I was frankly far too old to be doing so.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:17, Reply)

*coughs*
might have it on dvd...
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:20, Reply)

This^, I must steal my son's tape of it something

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:20, Reply)

It's about £3 off amazon...

(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Danke
I feel a purchase coming on.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I found myself on there the other day
Dangermouse was only a couple of quid as well, but I'm so skint this month I couldn't spare it. A Christmas voucher purchase, I think.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

This is a dangerous conversation when I'm supposed o be saving every penny for christmas...

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

The idiot thing reminds me
My sister was playing that "name the counties of England" flash game Jeff linked to ages ago, and she had forgotten Berkshire. I suggested that she should think of a word for an idiot, beginning with B. Her eyes lit up "Buckinghamshire!" she cried. I have not yet stopped mocking her.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:23, Reply)

and you never, ever should.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Bloke
I don't know why. Neither does anyone else, but I'm definitely better known by that name here at uni. Somehow it just seems to fit.

Edit: as far as my username goes, only one person has ever actually called me that. I've toyed with changing it once or twice, but I think it's a bit late now.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:11, Reply)

You generic bastard

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Most internet peeps call me Blousie IRL and I kind of like it.
I like cheap wine but only a certain type. I can drink it like pop.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:15, Reply)

I was known as 'leather lungs' as a teenager.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Whereas now it's leather bollocks.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I do hope you are wrong.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:23, Reply)

+nothing but bollocks in the wallet
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:27, Reply)

*cries*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Not really. Unless "you cunt" counts.
Alt: I am definitely a misfit in my family. Not for wine-related reasons.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Through primary school I had the footballer-standard 'surname + y' nickname
Later in life, around the time of A-levels, I managed to pot the white ball on every shot in a game of pool and earned the nickname 'cueball'. This one has stuck with a few old acquaintances and can be carried over when I go bald.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Clay-y?
That doesn't work
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

So your real name is 'Bill Cla'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

It is
I come from a long line of one-handed clappers.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Indeed.
According to the graffiti in her local, your mum's a right 'one handed clapper'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Haha
Same point, made better. Good work.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:29, Reply)

My b3ta name is my nickname
so, I guess that's not interesting. It's written on the back of most of my hockey shirts rather than my real name, though. If that helps add a tiny bit of interest?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:22, Reply)

No it didn't add any interest. Thanks for trying though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I can but try.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:25, Reply)

We've certainly seen no evidence you can succeed.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:41, Reply)

It occurs to me that very few of us use any variation of our real names on here.
Me, Al, Kristine, Rob (obviously)... Anyone else?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

CQ used to, I think.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Well spotted, I did indeed.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Sportscow really is a bovine in a track suit. Does that count?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:27, Reply)

+Mrs
*runs*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:27, Reply)

My name is Col Onel

(TheColonel, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Noel.

(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Of course.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Bert.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:51, Reply)

PhillieJ

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:02, Reply)

The name most of you know me by is a nickname
And I have about 15 derivatives of that, my real name and that, my real name and my surname combined. I hate my real name so it's aaaaall good.

I was renamed after a pair of £7 shoes from Topshop.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

"There's no place like home"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:25, Reply)

When I was little my dad's nickname for me was AC Milan
Insert your own witty football reference in here.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:26, Reply)

We need to do some planning.
How are you, truffle?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:27, Reply)

We do indeed
I am okay thanks, think I may have broken a toe, and crashed off my diet for two days. How about you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Oh dear to the toe! How did you manage that?
I'm going back on a diet at some point. I have that food focus thingy bookmarked. Might be time to start writing everything down again. That worked.
I'm not bad, waiting for a washing machine to be delivered. Then I might go and feed some ducks.

Is there anything you particularly fancy doing?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Dashed to answer the door
fell over a shoe, heard something go snick and my toe is still hurting me a load. This contributed to an evening drinking beer and eating crisps to assuage my grievance. Foodfocus is very helpful, though if you're at all obsessive about counting and noting probably not a good idea!

Just seeing you both would be lovely, really don't mind. Food is good (I'll totally make an exception) and shopping though I'm a bit broke.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Totally wincing here.
Charmz is up for seeing you too, I think she's working in the day though or something. It'll be nice to catch up.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Is this the bit where Gonz tries to invite himself along and says something really quite prevy?
but because it's Gonz, every one is all like "Oh Gonz!" and no one thinks it's creepy?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Haha, just got into work, sorry about the delay, will get on it right this moment.
But yeah', I guess you're right when you single out Amberl, Lampito and Charmz, as being three objects of obsession, with an extra enphasis on that Charms lady... you're right, they are extremely attractive but I like their personailtys as well, you should take time to notice them, it's some of their best features in my books.

BO-YAH', CREEPY-COMMENTER-SWITCH-AROUND.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Well Played Gonz
I don't think I can come back from this, I with I had your magic powers.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:03, Reply)

That's quite a lisp you're getting there Comrade.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:06, Reply)

*sweaty palms five*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Meh, I was never that Inter football from other leagues when I was younger

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:27, Reply)

You were stripey and dominated Europe?
Or that you're owned by a creepy corrupt sex offender?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Don't be silly
Monty doesn't own a damn thing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:31, Reply)

My new sig
the stripey and dominated Europe one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:35, Reply)

You were taken from behind by 11 men in May 2005?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Let's be fair about this
10 men and Steve Finnan
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Him being taken off is probably the reason we were able to pull it back, thank you Didi!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:38, Reply)

You have a better memory for the game than I do
which is hardly surprising really
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Tbh, I just had to look that up, as I couldn't remember who went off for Hamann to come on

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Shocking
I can remember every last detail of Forest's last European Cup win
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I was a lot younger, with a lot less interest in football
That was the first season I started to seriously get into football
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I got everyone at Junior school to call me Bez
based on the surname which I hated. Then that Happy Mondays mentalist came along and ruined everything. In recent years certain people have called me Foxtrot or Foxy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:30, Reply)

And where the fuck have you been all week?
Did you get my text?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Ill
Yes, just noticed it, thank you very much. Been a bit swamped today, apparently no-one does my job when I'm not here. Sorry but am going to have to run off for training shortly, the bloke who handles the Barclays account has inconsiderately been made my boss and is therefore bequeathing me all of his work.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:33, Reply)

You have one or two other nicknames, I'm afraid.
At least one of them is related to the savoury preserves industry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Nicknames employed only by the B3ta fraternity do not concern me, Admiral
I want that ship, and not excuses
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Mr Pickles?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Spike never comes on here anymore

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Oh dear this reminds me
of insisting on being called Jo in Year three, and refusing to answer to anything else, until people just gave in and called me that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:36, Reply)

And bender.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Hello Jeff

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

my nickname on here seems to be "go and kill yourself" or variations on it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

'Princess (please just fucking) Di' is one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:35, Reply)

can i be princess for short?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:37, Reply)

To be fair, when I told you to fuck off and die, that wasn't your nickname, it was more of a request
I believe I actually referred to you as "you pointless spastic"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:35, Reply)

you queens can be soooo bitchy

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I can honestly say that I cannot think of a single person in my teenage social circle who went by their real name.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:36, Reply)

social biscuit game
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I'll tell 'Bignuts' and 'Wee Willie Winkie' you said that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:41, Reply)

That's public school for you, I am still not known by my name to my school contempories

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:41, Reply)

You obviously went to a nicer public school than I did
I'm not in touch with any of my contemporaries, because they were almost all utter cunts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Me neither. I finally got revenge on one of the bastards 30 years on.
When I posted on a FB page that had been set up for alumni. "Does any one remember X? His Dad ended up going to prison for fraud".

Turned out he saw it and that nobody had known. Serves the cunt right for pushing me over in the lunch queue.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Is this a QOTW needless to say I had the last laugh story?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I guess so.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Sorry Batto
I won't tell /talk. Promise.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Boarding schools are terrible for that sort of thing.
I remember a boy a few years below me whose surname was Laing. Because he had a very nasal voice, he was known as Twang. When his little sister came to the school a few years later, she started calling him taht too.
It's always nice when hurtful nicknames follow you home to your family life.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

My dad found out what people called me at school
and would gleefully call me it whenever he was drunk. Cunt.
(berk, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I don't think Monty went to public school
but the biscuit game it appears is universal
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:03, Reply)

You played it??

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Don't be ridiculous
far too many calories
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Yeah, who needs biscuits?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:05, Reply)

universal popular with benders you like to watch each other jerk off and eat jiz.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I went on a stag do with my friend's younger brother
Every single one of his old school friends had the suffix "-o" on their name.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:42, Reply)

i work with a guy nicknamed milfy
we call him milfy because he spent the night with a lady once and when he woke up a little boy walked into the room and said 'are you my new daddy?@
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

and another guy we call tranny cos he looks like a butch lesbian

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Are you known as "Joseph"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:41, Reply)

why cos god's impreganted my woman?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I thought you were comrade quixote
bit tired after lunch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:43, Reply)

shrug

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Oi!
Leon, if you don't mind.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Never had a nickname.
Most b3tans that know me, and I include the missus in this, call me DG rather than my real name, though. I quite like it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Atschool I had bad acne
I had the awesomely original and well thought out nickname of Spotty Phil

Before I got acne I fucked up my ACL and was on crutches. I had the awesomely original and well thought out nickname of hopalong.
( Peej, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:53, Reply)

But like the Tetleys....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 13:56, Reply)

oh man /talk drama

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Could you give us a précis?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Baldmonkey and Two hats are fighting
it's awesome to watch. It's gone into real life as well.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:10, Reply)

It is very entertaining.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:12, Reply)

It's fucking amazing.
I just hope it keeps going. who do you believe? The tide seems to be against baldmonky.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I don't really care.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:15, Reply)

It is a bit like tuning in to a soap opera that you don't watch, for me
You don't know any of the characters or their history and none of it makes sense
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)

It reads like a bad soap opera too
I suspect shenanigans
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Baldmonkey was PERSONALITY HORSE
this is enough reason for me to take two hats side, Two hats was I believe the other half of Personality Horse the band, beyond this I know nothing.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:21, Reply)

THey're both technically members of the band Personality Horse
BM was personality horse the user.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Perhaps not any more, I suspect.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)

It's lies
I think Chompy was on the money with this:
www.b3ta.com/talk/7368040
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I don't care this is more entertaining than Anything either of them has done to date
TH just accused BM of stealing his wife's Rampant Rabbit.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Having just gone through the whole thread
I find it utterly incredulous that anyone has actually consented to marry baldmonkey, let alone have kids by him. I'm imaging a houseful of Alan Carr lookalikes, now.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)

"funny man"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 15:01, Reply)

- "funny"

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Thayt's what I said
or meant to anyway.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Baldmonkey in "Guess what? I really am a spastic cunt in real life as well" shocker.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Fucking hell, that is a bit mental

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)

It's all a set up.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)

best day EVER
www.b3ta.com/talk/7367963
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:11, Reply)

That is some of the best B3ta eva
TwoHats 4EVER!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 14:21, Reply)