RIGHT.
Let's try again, shall we?

1. Has anyone in your social or professional circle made an alcohol-related cunt of themselves yet, this 'party season'?
2. Did anyone last year - or was it you?
3. Ever pissed or shat yourself as an adult?
4. Sandwiches are almost invariably disappointing. Discuss.
5. Someone pointed out in the paper this week that the most 'marginalised' European countries are currently Switzerland and Norway and they hardly suffer as a result. Do we give a fuck about that ghastly Frenchy and his bent pals?
6. Does anyone have a spare ticket to the Personality Horse NYE Gang Show? I've exhausted all my 'industry connections' and got nowhere. I am close to despair.

Answer one, more or none from the above list.

You may turn over your paper and begin writing.....now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:26, 210 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hello Monty
Nice sig.
(TheColonel, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Hello TheColonel.
I wish I could say the same about yours.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I am an empty canvas for your love

(TheColonel, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:38, Reply)

*blubs*
That's so beautiful.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:48, Reply)

1. Probably everyone at some point.
2. Last year resulted in the infamous someone burning their own nipple (male) to attract attention.
3. No
4. I like the convenience, but mostly sandwiches are rubbish. The exception to this is baguettes from the tuck shop in Oxford
5. I don't give a fuck. This is not a popular view with Nick Robinson and the Guardian in general
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:29, Reply)

1. After the christmas party someone spotted someone who shouldn't have been staying at our hotel at our hotel.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:31, Reply)

2-6. I gave up reading that shit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Oh come on now.
I did boozy shenanigans, nommy food, lolotics, the fucking lot, sunshine.

Something for everyone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:38, Reply)

In response to your lolitics question.
Swiz and Norwegian ecomonys are very different to ours, that sort of comparisson is only ever made by someone who either doesn't know what they're talking about or is using that to push an anti EU agenda to what they believe is the stupid population.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Sadly they are right about the intelligence of the population.
Can you explain me what the treaty Dave didn't sign was about chompo?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

It was about tighter control to the EU about ecconomic policy.
One country within the euro can't just say WE'RE GOING TO BUY EVERYTHING!!!!
They can only spend up to 103% of their tax income every year. Yearly budgets will be checked centrally be the EU and if they go above that they'll be charged.
Why we didn't go into it... within these rules there was a number of things specific to finacial services, Cameron wanted to change it so that these rules would have to be changed by a unanimous vote, not just by a 2/3rds majority.
Also he wanted safeguards to the buying and selling of Euros so that they can be officially sold in London, not just in euro countries.
Also he wanted to make it so that Britain can set the percentage of assets stored by banks itself rather than by the EU.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

OK, so possibly not such a big deal as it has been made out to be?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

All the things Cameron tried to get
would have been possible if
1: he had started talking about them in detail before. (before the meeting I think the proposals sent round were about 1 side of A4)
2: He hadn't of gone into the meetings with such an aggressive "bulldog" stance
3: He was any good at negotiating, and was actually liked by the big players
4: He didn't realise telling the EU to fuck off would give him a couple of weeks of good press by the right wing papers.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Oh, yeah, man's a posturing cunt no doubt.
What I mean is, for all the rhetoric, it's not like we're out of Europe or anything, he's not been that stupid.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:05, Reply)

This is top level gossip and none of you cunts are even bothered.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:36, Reply)

It's desperately poor.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:38, Reply)

She was leaving my room.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Chloroform wore off?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:42, Reply)

CHARMING AND WITTY!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Yay! Well done Boyce.
1. Sadly no, and as we've had the party it seems unlikely. I may have been offered a sideways move into IT in exchange for a vigorous bumming, I am very happy about this.
2. Last year my boss had a young colleague of mine sitting on her knee while she drunkenly slurred at him, it was ace.
3. Yes, once a long time ago. some kind of stomach bug, luckily I got away with it.
4. Nope, some are ace. I'm very good at sandwiches. Sadly vegetarian sandwitches do tend to be shite.
5. I won't know until Chompy explains it all to me.
6. Fuck right off
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Come on - not even one small ticket...?
I'll pay 'top dorrar'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:39, Reply)

They are both 'shit' and 'fucking bent'
And I shall have nothing to do with them.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:43, Reply)

You're just saying that to push the price up.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Nope, I'm saying that because they are worse than Dozer's taste in music.
Edit: and your, and my, taste in women.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Nothing on earth is worse than that.


Oh, hang on, Gonz's.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Gonz has a taste in music?
I've never heard him talk music actually.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

It was (brilliantly) described by someone on here
as 'the music taste of a 15-year old German girl'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Dear Gott im Himmel

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I'm ill, so don't expect too much.
1. No.
2. Yes, two of my mates went missing for two days. They were last seen scrawling incoherently on the cover of the guest book at my wedding.
3. No
4. Yes. Unless they are turkey and mayonnaise toasties.
5. I like the rest of Europe, the food's better.
6. I've heard they're going for more than the price of a Heston Christmas pudding on eBay.

Did I mention I was ill? It's like manflu, only real.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Get well soon bbz x x x x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I'm expecting you to lead the public display of teddy bear, floral-themed grief when my very bad cold is pronounced terminal.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

*places order with Interflora*

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I am touched. That's quite a few steps up from the petrol station carnations I was envisaging.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

You deserve it petal.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Nah, you don't get to winge about it.
You have to be like the wimmin in the Boots advert and just get the fuck on with it while doing 17 things at once.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I tried that and I got more ill and had to get antibiotics.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Pah!
This makes you not a real woman.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

*gives back womb*

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I don't want it.
Give it to Boyce, he'll probably snort it or something.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Mayo is vile

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Psst she's actually from Northern Ireland, AA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

OH COME ON NOW THIS IS GOOD STUFF HERE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

is this supposed to be read in an Oirish accent?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

that's why it is so unpopular and no one buys it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:05, Reply)

£10 says he prefers 'Salad Cream'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

he is frightfully common

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

+ northern

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

No comment
Maybe
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

At an Xmas works do many years ago I joined a few pals in their hotel suite and proceeded to try to climb out onto the window ledge.
It was a very long way down and I was off my face on booze and charlie.

I also had the hots for one of the staff and went looking for him to seduce, (I was off my head remember), and found him in bed with another female colleage, who was married.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:39, Reply)

This is the sort of thing I was looking for.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

It was one of my more surreal nights out.
I was also incredibly ill the next day.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

ill well-respected for being a 'hard-nut'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:58, Reply)

BGB is Amberl?
Who'd have guessed?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

The clues were there.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Yeah, but you said this year or last year.
If you'd meant years ago I would have mentioned that I got banned from Wiltshire for pissing on a mini-roundabout on New Year's Eve after climbing out a gazebo window in a pair of patent stilettos and a pencil skirt.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

How can you get banned from a whole county?

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

By pissing on a mini-roundabout
on New Year's Eve after climbing out a gazebo window in a pair of patent stilettos and a pencil skirt.

Do keep up, dear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I admit, when I say "banned" I mean "too scundered to return".

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

1: Not this year, but I just found out that the reason one of the senior management spent January to about May of last year on crutches with his leg in a brace was because he tore his knee ligaments break-dancing at last years Christmas Party. THAT would have been worth going along for.

2: Nope, for obvious reasons.

3:

4: Only Americans can really 'do' sandwiches. After a New York Deli Reuben, a Sainsbury's Cheese and Tomato doesn't really stand up.

5: Did you see Jaques Chrirac has been done for embezzlement?

6: I've only got time for one past it rock band next year, and that's The Stone Roses.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

4. You are so right.
6. Oh dear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

You give and take your approval so quickly my head spins.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Fuck right off do the yanks know shit about shit
They can't even do bread right.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

They certainly can't do cheese.
Fuck me the choice is abysmal from my experience.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:02, Reply)

This too.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I have to bring an interesting/different/weird cheese to a chrsitmas dinner next week
Any thoughts /OT?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Colston Bassett
Vacherin Mont D'Or
Epoisses

FFS do your own research you hideous poove.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Cornish yarg.
Interesting because it's not a traditional cheese, it's a pretty recent invention. The name yarg comes from the maker's surname spelled backwards. And it's wrapped in nettle leaves so it looks pretty. And it tastes nice.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Take some Primula for the lols.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Merkins kick ass in the sandwich making stakes.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

but have no idea what "pudding" is

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I couldn't give a shit about pudding.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Nor I.
Pudding for me consists of a fag and maybe a coffee. Or another starter.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Cognac and a cheeky line 'chez khazi'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Classy.
Do you drink the cognac from the bowl, or just balance the glass on the cistern?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

fuck you ape
if you had any idea about it you'd gag for it
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:30, Reply)

1) Not in my professional circle, but my friend's colleague had to be sent home from his work do before the meal had even started, because he was so hammered he started stripping in a rather well to do restaurant.
2) Nope, was quite well behaved last year
3) Once shat myself, when I was rather ill and rather drunk, twas only a winnet though.
4) Not necessarily, some can be magnificent. Sausage, bacon, egg, black pudding being the obvious one.
5) Nope, not in the slightest
6) Sorry, can't help you.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

OKAY.
1. No. I haven't had a drink for nearly seven years.
2. No. I haven't had a drink for nearly seven years.
3. No. Nor do I shit into carrier bags.
4. Nah. x 2
5. I dunno. It's not within my power to do anything about it. Why bother caring.
6. They sold out MONTHS ago. Even we can't get any spare ones.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Listen what if I offered to, I don't know, clean the tour bus or something?

Come on man, I neeeed this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

that's a lot of tissues

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I'd love to help, really I would.
But there are none left. And the H&S brigade won't let us print any more. Fire hazard and all that.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Ooh, a quiz! I love quizzes.
1. When I met CQ for a pint in London a couple of months back I accidentally picked up two Dutch girls, and the silly sod just went home and left me to take them to a gig. Everyone knows Dutch girls are filthy. When I was 12 I went to Amsterdam with the West Ham U-13 squad, and when I fingered a girl she shat down my arm.
2. I can't remember last year. I was shagging. And drunk. Often I was drinking mid-shag.
3. About half an hour ago. Both. Luckily I was sat on the toilet at the time.
4. Bought ones, yes. Never as good as they're advertised. I'd like proof that these "tomatoes" have been "dried" in the "sun", please.
5. Switzerland and Norway are rubbish at football though, and that's ALL THAT MATTERS IN THE WORLD.
6. Yes, I have. And to you, Monty, it is a free gift. As long as you blow me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:00, Reply)

If I'd been around and not ill with teh AIDs when they were there I'd have taken them both off you hands.
I could do with a filthy Dutch girl today.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

They both spent the entire gig whispering to me how much they loved a man with a moustache you could lose a small continent in

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

OH FFS!
I never even got to see them. were they hot? I bet they were hot.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Eh...
They both ticked two of my preference boxes; "Tall" and "Huge norks", but the third and most important, "Fucking stunning", saw no threat from the ticking pen.

And I was lying about the moustache thing.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Still.... two of them.... Huge Norks......

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Oh, don't get me wrong
If I were single at least one of them would have got it. Basically, all that time we spent talking in the bar, I was cockblocking you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

You utter, utter Bastard.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:22, Reply)

There, there
I'll get you some nice hookers to apologise
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Hmm.
1. No, I won't be at any office do's this year, thanks for reminding me.
2. No, my office 'do' last year consisted of going for a team lunch and then standing in a snowy field looking at a big vat of shit, as already mentioned today. Stingy fucking cunts.
3. No. Give it another forty years and ask me again though.
4. Sandwiches are nearly always full of tomato when you buy them from a supermarket. I don't like tomato, so I'd go with yes. There's a shop on Kos does amazing sandwiches, though, so I'm torn.
5. Not really.
6. No, sorry.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:00, Reply)

1. no
2. someone was sick on someones very expensive suede shoes on the dancefloor
3. peed in a wetsuit, does that count?
4. they have a potential that is rarely fulfilled
5. Different types of economies, so it's a poor comparison
6. no
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Sportsanswers
1. Not as yet, though the day is young
2. I have merrily chundered ala The Exorcist after a large break from drinking and then a restart though I'd not been away
3. No, though a mate sharted on my stag do
4. Nonsense. A steak, onion and mushroom sarnie is always ace
5. No. Been through a Danish bird and a French one and have to say French was considerably more dirty
6. Amazingly there are 1498 still available from the 1500 print run for this "exclusive" event
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Just had 3 pints of Peroni with the magnificent Barry from Eastenders

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

this post makes me feel sick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Are you hungover again?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:22, Reply)

badly, it's got worse after lunch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

you great steaming girl.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

But I'm SICK

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Stop fucking your sister then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

the craziest I got last year was ditching my pantyhose at the strip club

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

did anyone give you a dollar?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

no, I was in the toilet

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

you were in the loo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

is this repeat what i've just said hour?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

it's repeat what you say properly hour

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

loo isn't a proper name for anything other than your mums clunge
I WAS IN THE GOD DAMNED RESTROOM/BATHROOM/WATER CLOSET/FUCK YOU
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I will also allow 'shitter'
as in, "not now Margret I'm on the shitter"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Are you Mil Millington?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I think i need a doctor

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Pull yourself together, man!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Doctor docter, i feel like a pair of curtains

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Doctor Who!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Oh man did you see they found 2 long lost episodes?
the streets of nerdsville ran thick with spunk that day
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I did not know that
Fifty quid says those episodes look a bit naff now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

£1000 says all episodes up to the modern iteration look fucking naff/shit/budget

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

You'd be surprised.
Some of them hold up pretty well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I have never seen a clip that looked anything but god-awful

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:29, Reply)

looks like you owe DG a grand.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

That's because
when clips shows generally show a clip of the earliest stuff, they'll choose the naffest ones possible.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

They still LOOK naff
but some of the writing in the earlier ones is so good that it hardly matters. Notably The Caves of Androzani, and Tomb of the Cybermen
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Androzani is an excellent story.
And I'd argue that it looks pretty good for its time, too. Apart from the magma beast, which is thankfully only in it fleetingly.

Tomb of the Cybermen was a huge disappointment when I saw it. Great story, but the execution really let it down.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I loved that one
Although the Cybermen look crap now, they scared me stupid when I was a kid. Genesis of the Daleks is an excellent story too, even if it is an example of the Doctor beign a bit crap.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Genesis is in my top ten favourites of the old series.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

*produces pen and paper*
And the others?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Top of my head, in no particular order:
Remembrance of the Daleks
Revelation of the Daleks
Earthshock
Horror of Fang Rock
Robots of Death
Spearhead from Space
Caves of Androzani
Seeds of Doom
Terror of the Zygons.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Invasion Earth 2150 is my personal favourite though I am no expert

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Not official, but enjoyable nonetheless.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Cracking film

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

One from what is regarded as one of the worst stories ever made.
I've seen the only other surviving episode and it's crap.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

YOU JUST SAID IT!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

How's it going there...
YOU DELETING BASTARD
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Doctor doctor I'm feeling a little hoarse.
No, but I once told a donkey to fuck off.

It's a fusion joke.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I CAN'T - I'M NOT ALLOWED ON THE FURNITURE!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

HAVE YOU TRIED TAKING THE SPOON OUT???!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

he had both hands on my shoulders

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

PROFIT----EROLES

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Well at least i don't have cancer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Greetings!
Went to the work Christmas meal last night, presided over by my borderline sociopathic boss - imagine David Brent with no desire to please. I had dressed up all fancy like, but still covered up. After a few wines, he bellowed across the table, "Well! Isn't wavylines dressed like a SLAG!". Him madly laughing, everyone else exchanging uneasy frozen smiles."Oh sorry!" quoths the mentaller."I meant SLUT!"
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Hello new person
Expect everyone to call you Bert. Just a warning
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Not to mention the frightful pandering as she claims to be female.
fucksake
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Sorry, I meant to type
Well, hello!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Don't worry you did.
And you a married man. Now I need to redress the balance.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Hi there
:)
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Don't encourage him!
He's a sex pervert!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Says you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Well, yes, I did
Just up there^

Look
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Oh yeah

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

What an utter charmer.
Greetings, Newbie.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I've been lurking for about 6 years
so I'll try not to disgrace myself.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I remember you! YOUR the cunt who shot phil mitchell!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Good good
Ignore Quentin, he's a bit of a pain in the arse.

I sympathise on the mental boss front, it's the same here. Granted, he doesn't tend to do things that bad, though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

It's 'cos you get your tits out all the time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

This is true
The picture of me on my profile appeared in work again this week, twas entertaining.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

at least i got a mum

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Like I said, bit of a pain.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

pain is french for bread
LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Better sliced then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

you want to slice him mum?
you sick fucker, it'd be like old ham
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

In that case who's your faveourite?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

*neediness explosion*
Although the answer should be entertaining. And guaranteed to result in abuse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I suspect that it is me, sorry

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:36, Reply)

In the interests of ballance:
Fuck off Bert

And if you're not Bert: tits of GTFO.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I am very disappointed that you are using this site in working hours
And in my defence, you were dressed like a slag.

My office. Five minutes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

"On your way up, you'll see a package from a 'Noel', please bring that with you."
"Yes, and the lube too"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:05, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

He's the type
to go in dry
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Sounds like you speak from experience

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Hahaha
Thank the Lord, I'm on school holiday. I'm a teacher so hold the heavy-paedo breathing/steamy lenses
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Oh noes
What do you teach?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Classrooms full of children, I'd wager.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

English to them there forrins
Not a REAL teacher. Glorified children's bloody party entertainer half the time...
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Well, that's fucked my joke royally up the arse I must say.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

A royal arse fuck
sounds classy to me
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

One does love one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Not wearing my glasses today
If you're about tomorrow I'll pre-steam them to save you any effort. I'm nice like that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Yes please
please cover yourself in a thin layer of slime and grease too.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Will spaff do?
Easier to get my hands on spaff
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

You could get a collection going on the board
I'm sure all these guys will be happy to help.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I have plentiful sources of my own
(To explain; everyone here likes to accuse me of chronic bumderism, and I find it more amusing to play along than to stamp my feet and tell them repeatedly that I'm not, which was my original tactic)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

shut upi bumm-o

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I love bumders!
let's paint each others toenails and analyse all the mens on the board
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Yay! Slumber party!
*cosies up to new girl, looks smug*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:55, Reply)

OMFG I CAN'T BELIUEVE YOU'D DO THIS TOT ME!

(Battered., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Fuck right off.
He's mine bitch.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:01, Reply)

This is true. I am promised.
wavylines, wavylines, wavylines, wa-vy-lines... I'm beggin' you please don't take my man
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:06, Reply)

As if 'she' could
I have at least one thing she, allegedly, dose not. And you love it, don't you baby?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:11, Reply)

*moans appreciatively and slightly too convincingly*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Mmmmm.
You like that Bitch?

I got more.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:12, Reply)

*panics and heads for the border*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Unconvincing
There's no way in hell the missus would call herself "Mrs"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Primary or secondary?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Hi Bert.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Bert?
'Splain please!
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Bertmonkeysex was a regular user of this board. As his mental health went south, he admitted to shagging his underage long lost half sister on here. kept coming back under various new usernames, hence why every noob is accused of being him.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Whoah
! Dunno what to say to that. I definitely don't remember shagging any family members.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I'll wager you were the sister
but you've blocked it out.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

out up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Only way to keep the inbred mutant baby up there.
Best thing for all concerned really.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

the world does not need Bert spawn of anykind

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Dear god, could you imagine?
That said, BM has kids...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

This from someone who's "lurked for 6 years"
I call shenanigans.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

*strokes chin*
Good point
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Are you sure?
I mean 'she' has 'tits' you know, you might want to go on being nice and polite, just in case.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I'll see them first then decide

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Do you have a problem
with my ovaries?
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Moi?
I have no problem with your alleged ovaries, some of my best friends hav ovaries.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Look I'm sorry about all the other people in this thread.
They're all either benders, sweaty-handed pervs or chronic dullards.

Luckily, I am none these things, so for the knock-down price of a tastefully-shot titgaz I will protect you from these knock-kneed simpletons.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:22, Reply)

See, now this is how it's done.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:24, Reply)

that sounds exactly like somehting bert would say

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)