Right.
It's Burns Night tonight.

Do you give a fuck? Do you or anyone you know actually celebrate it?

My grandfather's life's work was this: www.amazon.co.uk/Poems-Songs-Robert-Burns-volumes/dp/0198118430*
He really fucking loved Robert Burns. But do you? Personally I find him to be fucking shit.

*nice to see that the 1st edition my mother has is worth £350. That's 'going missing' next time I visit fo' sho'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:29, 151 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Burns is on a par with McGonnagle, or however he's spelt. Pretty bad.
I approve of Haggis, tattie and neeps and a decent malt however.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:32, Reply)

He couldn't spell for shit. Sleekit? That's not even a fucking word.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Personally
if I got so pissed up I started serenading a fucking haggis I would try to keep it to myself, not hot-foot it to the nearest publishers with a transcript before I sobered up.

But that's just me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)

Do you think he actually fucked one?
I bet he fucking did. I bet he undid the knot and gave a warm pudding a good seeing to with his withered little jockcock. Ummph. Take it in your honest sonsie face, bitch.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Salt was very expensive in the old days and was even used as currency
shagging a haggis would be a cheap way of seasoning it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)

You're welcome to use that as the foreword to any upcoming editions of your grandfather's work.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I can't wait that long.
I'm getting that tattooed on my forehead before close of business tonight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:00, Reply)

cf "kubla khan"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)

pdq "jackie mason"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)

No idea who he is nor do I give a fuck.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)

He's like the scottish shakespear

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)

But nowhere near as good.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Without the talent or international recognition.
Oh ... wait. You already said "scottish".

Sorry.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Just another example of the sickening, subjugated, freedom wanting jocks.
Fuck off with your nipples and taters.

Scottish romanticism - alcoholism more like.

Didn't we jail these cunts for this sort of thing a few years ago?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Hahahah
One of my staff called me a 'jockney' earlier.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)

We are having a joint Chinese New Year and Burns night tonight.
IT'S A CHINESE BURNS NIGHT!!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHHAAH

I THOUGHT 'BURNS NIGHT' WAS NOVEMBER 5TH!!!!!!

AAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Really?
I thought it was 8th June
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)

10/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)

I'd be up for it. I'm always looking for an excuse for a party or whatever.
Don't know anybody south of Carlisle that celebrates it, though.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I know an enclave of North London Scots who do the whole shebang every year.
I've been invited once or twice but have never actually been. I do like haggis though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:47, Reply)

"sheepbang" more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)

See, you should go. Good excuse for a piss-up, that.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:04, Reply)

I couldn't name any of his works.
But I might have haggis tonight, just because I like it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I like haggis and all.
I like lots of their foods. I wish I was there.
I JUST HAD TO TURN DOWN AN INTERVIEW THERE.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)

When are you due to move up there?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)

asap dude

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Surely a job offer would have been perfect then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:47, Reply)

see below, our kid.
Only 18 hrs per week and working every weekend.
I have to have a life as well, and be able to go to Liverpool the occasional weekend to see my lil parents and Nana.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Ahh, I see.
Makes sense then!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Why did you have to turn it down?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Working every weekend. Fuck that shit.
Looked like a cracking job as well. In the library of the Scotsman newspaper.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I don't plan on working weekends ever again.
unless my landfill mining kicks off, then I'll work saturday like a half day if I can drive the diggers.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)

That would go down well with the workforce
you turning up in your sheepie with a cigar and having a go on the diggers
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)

I'm planning the workforce to be mainly robots.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)

I read that as "manly robots"
It sounded a bit gay
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)

I'm now thinking of Greece's entry in the....
2002(?) Eurovison
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)

The transsexual?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)

no, GIVE THE PASSWORD and they did robot dancing
Edit, looked it up, it was 2002
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Do you work in the 1980s?
It's all hi viz and no smoking elf n safety gorn mad these days.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)

If I was the gaffer I would turn up in a sheepskin coat with a cigar and loafers on
I wish I worked in the 80s. With those grey dial-phones. Sigh.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:53, Reply)

They were awesome, took ages to dial a number though.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Not if you used a pen and RAMMED it back home

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Story of my life.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)

If it were tomorrow, I'd take it as an opportunity to get rioutously drunk and eat haggis.
However, as I don't have any money tonight, I'll be celebrating it by doing fuck all.

My grandfather didn't write any books, but he was a talented man when it came to woodwork, some of his things were fantastic. One of the ones that impressed me hugely was a set of 5 interlinking rings that he'd cut down from a single block of wood, twas excellent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)

So your Grandad put his wood in rings?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)

No, he made his wood into rings.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)

I'm so confused.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Something like this, only with 6(?) rings

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Which one of those is your foreskin?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Lol

( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Crisps dont count

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)

I see.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)

this sounds like the sort of thing himjim would sell

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)

You could meet with some other fellow "pseudo jews" and link your severed foreskins in memory of his work

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Or not.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)

How's your cock today?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)

why do you keep asking him this?
has he shagged bella again?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)

he got circumnavigated

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)

is that rolling around whilst having his foreskin torn off?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Yes it is

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)

Shockingly, no.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)

They're all fascinates by cocks. It's the new opiate of the masses.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Getting better day by day
Was surprised to find that store bought Ibuprofen is dealing with the pain better than Codeine did.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:55, Reply)

I went to a Burns night supper with my parents a few years ago.
It was some masonic lodge thing, all very serious. They hadn't realised that they forgot to turn on the oven, so the dinner was an hour late, the guy doing the speech was a last minute replacement and totally speaking off the cuff, and my mum and I kept giggling and getting dirty looks from the proper masonic wives.

The guy speaking wa telling us about Burns and his life, but he kept getting things mixed up. Poor Burns moved into the same village about four times before my mum and I lost it completely.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)

"Lick my minge"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)

With a helpful diagram

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)

I never thought I would hear those words from such a lady

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)

She's a right old filth bag.
Honestly, they're always talking about sex. It's fucking embarrassing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Yes I was uncomfortable when you lot watched those rude singers on youtube.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)

One of Burns' less well received po-yems.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)

This is the most sensible thing I've seen online today.
Bear in mind, I've checked my bank statement, and clocked both Reuter's and BBC news.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)

y'welcome

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:55, Reply)

As a resident of Scotchland I will be celebrating tonight
by partaking of haggis, neeps and tatties before getting riotously drunk and fighting with the neighbours.*

*not really. I've got an early start tomorrow. 5am FFS.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Isn't that a typical Wednesday night?
'Rents were from Glasgow btw, so I'm allowed to say this.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)

A typical Wednesday night in Glasgow perhaps
but through here in Edinburgh we're usually far more genteel, don't you know.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)

Did all the Scotchborn jocks get a special dole payment today so they can go out on the "pish"?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)

The monks at Buckfast Abbey have been working overtime these past couple of weeks

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Culture mate.
In Scotland, Buckfast is associated with drinkers who are prone to committing anti-social behaviour when drunk, especially drinkers under 18 years old. Its high strength (15% ABV/14.8% in the Republic of Ireland), relatively low price and sweetness are characteristics that are thought to appeal to underage drinkers.[5] The drink also has a very high caffeine content, with each 750ml bottle containing the equivalent of eight cans of cola.[6]
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Where did you [1} get that from?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Fuck [4] knows

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Wikipedia.
So it MUST be true.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)

as a resident of Scotland
I shall be making pizza as themissus doesn't like haggis. Yeah, I know, she's broken.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Deep fried, natch.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)

Deep fried pizza?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)

fucksocks, no.
Although, I suppose I could. Out of tradition and that. There's the thorny issue of whether to batter it first, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Your wife?
Come on, it's Burns Night, give her one day off, for fucks sake!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Hahahaha...

Scottishdomesticviolencelol
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:21, Reply)

roffle.
I'll stay off the stella then.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)

MUST be battered or it'd be disgusting. :+(

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)

nah, you can have both
since I've tried neither I'm not in a position to say, but apparently battering it makes it better for you as it absorbs less fat. The mind quite literally boggles.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)

My local chippie in Glasgow did deep-fried cheese and onion sandwiches.
Available battered or unbattered.

None of my Glaswegian friends had living grandparents.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)

A battered cheese and onion sandwich might just actually work
hmm...........
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Try a haggis topped pizza for yourself.
And a deep fried Mars Bar.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:04, Reply)

since deep fried confectionary is merely a ploy to fuck up tourists
no ta.

haggis on pizza, though. Hmmm.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I'd eat that.
Mind you as someone who's been eating Buzz Lightyear Xmas decorations all morning, this is not the ringing endorsement it might first appear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)

To Intensive Care, and BEYOND!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Excellent, I have lolled and I have clicked

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Haggis pizza is NOM

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I'm not a sweaty sock...

And the bits of Burns that I have read tended to suck somewhat fwiw.

However, haggis is nice...and when coupled with the sweaties' hearty love of alcoholism, I may indulge in a Burns' night celebration by proxy.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Once a jock, always a jock.
Remember that before you commit to a life of jocularity.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Hmmm...

Hey ho - I'll take any excuse to get rid of my underpants and wear a skirt ;)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Excellent.
The gutters of the UK are your oyster!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)

I also like...

the sound of that 'Buckfast' drink mentioned above.

I hope they sell it by the bathtubfull?

Ooh, also, when I grow a beard, it goes proper ginge - I'm nearly there!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)

Repeat after me
Sitch-yaaaaa-shun.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)

It's not a nice drink.
All the hipsters round my way started drinking it in a lol-ironic fashion last summer. The fucking cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Oh fair enough...

I'll have to settle for a drop of scotch in my cider then.

drop half gallon
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:20, Reply)

tell them breathing is totally mainstream
they'll be dead in 3 1/2 minutes.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)

This is a very good idea.
'Ironically dying from oxygen starvation is totally the new Buckfast'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)

Like so?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)

exactly so, my good man.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Buckfast is fucking horrible stuff.
it's like a giant bottle of cough medicine minus the beneficial effects.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Burns night is fucking class
I got invited to a charity do a few years ago on Burns night. Proper tuxedo job, free booze all night, piping in the haggis, the works. Won a £500 holiday voucher so fucked off over to Paris on the Eurostar for 3 days

Cheers Burnsy - your poems are shite but haggis and free beer and free holidays are fucking mint!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:24, Reply)

It's a dinner jacket you nothern pleb

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:29, Reply)

But I was eating my tea, you southern cunt
The full outfit is a tuxedo, no?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Tuxedo is Merkin
Dinner Suit is English old boy!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Not a fan of wearing it, TBH
I look like a fucking bouncer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

You wore a 'tuxedo' to a Burns Night supper?
Can you hear that noise?

That's oor Rabbie burlin' in his grave.

You wear a kilt, you flid.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:42, Reply)

I will never wear a fucking kilt, EVER
All kilt wearers look like cunts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:43, Reply)

This is completely wrong
You are wrong. And your face is wrong.

Even me - a bloody Englishman FFS - looks pretty damn good in a kilt. Check my FB pics for details.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:48, Reply)

My face is indeed wrong but I think kilts look shite

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Honestly you should give it a bash
I only wore one for the first time about 6-7 years ago for a mate's wedding. I was the best man so I had no option.

Now I own one myself. Always looks good and it gets plenty of use.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:52, Reply)

If I marry I shall wear a kilt.
I don't care if this makes me a jockney faker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)

The only reason for this is your overly sweaty nutsack

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I hate wearing a suit
and I hate that dreary 'which boring shirt and tie combo will I wear today' internal debate.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I've also got me own.
They are top, and a lot better than a fucking penguin suit for posh do's.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)

"An Englishman who owns a kilt"
is the second to top yahoo answer for "what is the definition of a cunt?".
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

don't see the problem if you live up here.
surely more of a cunt are those Scots who claim some sort of ridiculous tribal allegiance to a clan when the whole thing was made up about 200 years ago?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

They're the number one result.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:25, Reply)

My grandpa has 89 results on Amazon, despite dying 28 years ago.
Thet's pretty good going I reckon. Nearly as good as me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)

HIs reviews are all shite though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:36, Reply)

His review of your mum's flange was five stars though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)

"Cavernous" M. Boyce, Daily Mail

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Have you got 90 reviews saying "this is fucking shit"

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)

He can't afford reviews

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:40, Reply)

He's got some Xmas chocolate reviews he found in his desk.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I wish I had some chocolate reviews on my desk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:48, Reply)

He looks a bit like you too.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)

In that he died 28 years ago?
Harsh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Since your last visit I have got a rather nice bust of him wot I inherited.
My brother nicked it and only gave it back at Xmas.

You can see it when you come over for Hitlerthon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Ah yes!
When is this going to happen? I have a couple of books I need to lend you.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Bit late to the party
But Burns Night is fucking shit... An excuse for the plebeian masses north of the border to complain about their betters, and stir up a nationalistic pride that has no place in a modern society. Lets be honest here if they weren't so shit with money in the 18th century they could still have their own fucking country.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)

The cunts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:14, Reply)

never had haggis
But I'll eat cheap sausage and black pudding and faggots quite happily, so I suspect I'd enjoy it.

I've got to meet a hazmat team at a property at 8am tomorrow so no boozing for me tonight.

Edit: DYAC
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Faggots are disgusting.
Waits for faggot comment.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Faggot.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Maggot

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Merry Christmas yer arse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)

My coworker was so reluctant to hear what they were made of
She did the whole LALALALA thing with her ears covered.

Then she couldn't work out which of "liver and onions" or "scrotums and hooves" was the genuine answer.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Jan 2012, 12:33, Reply)