Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Looks like I might be finished work by 2What's the last piece of good news you had?
Alt. Favourite sadists.
AltAlt. www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/shocking-moment-ross-kemp-fends-off-armed-guerrillas-in-papua-new-guinea-are-you-gonna-kill-me-no-ones-gonna-fking-kill-me-9099198.html
Ha! I always thought Kemp was a bit of a poof. Why is he straying into Danny Dyer territory?
When was the last time you fought off armed Gorillas?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:06,
274 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I ain't happy; I'm feeling sad - I've got sunshine in a bag.I'm useless, but not for long my future is coming on.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:13,
Reply)
Ever read anything of his? Philosophy In The Boudoir contains some cracking expressions, such as 'three blood splattered cockrings of Christ'. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
I have tried a few times but I struggleI though I would start with 120 days but as sometimes happens I just couldn't get his writing style...
Any you would suggest to maybe get his flow a bit better?
That said on a similar note I really enjoyed Confessions of an Opium Eater by Thomas de Quincy which I would recommend.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:24, Reply)
Try Justine - a bit more moderate. I'll keep an eye out for your recommendation.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:28,
Reply)
Its not so much the contentI just sometimes find that if I cant get the writer's rhythm then I don't enjoy reading the book.
I also found it with those master and commander books just didn't like his pacing and sentence structure,
But I will have a butchers for Justine and see if it clicks
Cheers
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:30, Reply)
once again the so called justice system fails the innocent and protects the guilty. If an animal hurts a child we kill it! surely the same should be applied to people like those pair of degenerates.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:21,
Reply)
why should there identities be kept a secret?? they done the unimaginable so why do they deserve any leinience?? THEY DONT THEY DESERVE TO BE TORTURED EVERY DAY OF THERE LIVES !(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:26,
Reply)
They probably would have had to pay them.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:26,
Reply)
These sick c****s should be killed I really hate people like this why should there faces be Hinden people need 2 know when 2 take there children in they might do it again arrrrr really hate people like them!!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
Hang on... I'll get the Daily Mail link.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:31,
Reply)
same with that woman who had baby dead in cot for a while she got a short sentence n let out think was some lame ass technicality, n she was given new i.d , all murderers get new i,d at taxpayers expense, maxine carr aswell list is endless, justice systemis a shambles
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
These two are the reason that hanging should be brought back…….retrospectively!!(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:43,
Reply)
It's the libral do-gooders like urself that allowed Baby P to die.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:51,
Reply)
"Hellosir, according to our databases you could have unclaimed PPI"(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:33,
Reply)
if a phone rings and there's nobody round to hear it, does it still ring?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:32,
Reply)
Yes, because you just said 'If a phone rings'(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:33,
Reply)
kotaku.com/the-perfect-way-to-hold-a-hamburger-proven-by-science-1513085238?utm_campaign=Socialflow_Kotaku_Facebook&utm_source=Kotaku_Facebook&utm_medium=Socialflow
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:36,
Reply)
Money well spent.Maybe they should research into "how to hold a woman"
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
I have managed to source some galangalRendang all round!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:36,
Reply)
I might make nasi goreng this weekend. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:39,
Reply)
Nasi GorengNazi Goring
Ah Man Boyce (RIP) would have enjoyed that one
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:24, Reply)
those days are long gone for you, father of two!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:13,
Reply)
If you're going to get your information from a terrible newspaper, then more fool you!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
Can't be arsed to read the Kemp thing I've fuck all interest in the celeb shit. Such as that unfunny tossmonkey Jim Davison being on the news.Just having lunch after play centre. The burger and chips they do here is actually quite nice. Home in a bit to wash thick dog, always fun.Usually we get wetter than he fucking does.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:52, Reply)
Haha I used to like it when he said nick nick(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:58,
Reply)
OK, I'm 4 pints deep and I have my rage on nowIf I dont get an answer as to where my £300 has gone THERE WILL BE TROUBLE
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:57,
Reply)
Definitely. Constantly repeating yourself, amd referring tp colleagues as cunts, is good too.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:12, Reply)
If it gets too much you can always whip it out and piss on their desks(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:17, Reply)
may i borrow you to shout at someone?I only wanted a light lunch as teh frog and I are out with some family tonight and it's hefty on the portions there. I went for a small cup of healthy grain chana masala. she PROMISED me there were no raisins or sultanas in it.
it's fucking stuffed full of sultanas. I hate them, I hate them so much. I want to put them up her nose.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:18,
Reply)
they are definitely sultanasthe big fat pale brown bastards. you'd think in the context of a cup of curry flavoured grains and chickpeas that I wouldn't notice, but I KNOW THEY'RE THERE.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
NOI pawed through it like an anal obsessive retard, and piled them up at the side of the pot, making upset clicking noises.
they are now in the bin. where they belong.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
And that turns you on?Sicko
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
You'd love it too, that's why you married a woman with the mental age of a child, it's the acceptable face of paedophilia.........isn't it?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:30,
Reply)
you don't want to know what turns him onyou'd never sleep again
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
Is it fat ginger birds?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
No, that's not what I meant, because, right....oh forget it(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
upset clicking noises?Like an Ethiopian or whatever those clicking blacks are...
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:42,
Reply)
Kalahari bushmen innit?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
more like an overgrown budgie that doesn't like its seed(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
More like a dolphin, although she doesn't do it...........on porpoise!!!!
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:48,
Reply)
It does make a joke funnier.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:53,
Reply)
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2203039
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:00,
Reply)
I just like to put a different....angle on it
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:01,
Reply)
See, if Lokesy had posted his in this style......I might've liked it!
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:04,
Reply)
I nearly did exactly that.........just to prove the point
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:06,
Reply)
*plays honky tonk just like anything*(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
Oh you get a fucking Dire Straights jokeBut not a Nazi one
#what a prick
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:39, Reply)
Fruit has no place in a main course./is a foodwrong weirdo
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
£75 a pint?Are you in that London?
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
Oh zoom, you chased the day away High noon, the moon and stars came out to play Then my whole wide world went zoom True story #yolo
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:05,
Reply)
Do you like Smog/Bill Callahan?I can't stop listening to his last album - it's mazin'
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
I don't know the gent in question, but I shall pop it on this afternoon and let you know if you are right or wrong.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
I'm rarely wrong about these things(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:29,
Reply)
I won't hurt you againPromise
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
It's not on spotify :( may have to wait till later(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:40,
Reply)
First song off it:www.youtube.com/watch?v=96xpXS3hbec
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:48,
Reply)
Did he record 5 songs or 6,In all the excitement I just plain forgot
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:41, Reply)
Yer, you shouldSeriously, most recent album is the tits
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:12,
Reply)
soz, he hasn't sold as many CDs as U2 have, he can't be any goodIt's the only way you can really tell.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:14, Reply)
Scottish Plodseems a little convenient, Err yeah the dead nonce dun it
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-25980009
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:18, Reply)
I'm not finished :(Meetings and more work. Bah!
What's the worst news you've had today?
That I didn't go home?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
Hot presumably smelly girl had lunch alone again today.We might have a potential suicide on our hands!
(
Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
If she is hot how come you haven't got close enough for a sniff?Ask for a light or something?
Or borrow her pepper
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:39,
Reply)
No, I'm trying out being faithful.It's an odd experience, but it seems to be working out so far. None of these other cretins will bloody finger bang her, either. I've tried asking.
(
Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
Is it that they won't do it, or just that they won't let you lick their fingers afterwards?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:49,
Reply)
They're IT staff. If they can't masturbate to her cam while paying her lots of moneythey haven't got a fucking clue how to cope.
(
Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
Aw now I feel bad for fingerbanging your missus(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
Don't be fooled by the finger banging that she gotWe still, we still queued around the block.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:15, Reply)
I hope you are still here posting when I'm in the pub in a couple of hoursThen we can chat some more
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
Nah, I finish at 5 on a friday and see real life people when Im not at work.I'm just using you
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:40,
Reply)
I'll be in the pub roughly between 4.35 and 4.55, so we'll chat then!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
It's good going to the pub when Jason is still wearing his telecommunication headset and having potential 'clients' hang up on him(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:41,
Reply)
Do you not have a headset when doing orders of whatever it is you do?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
I am an extremely important cog in the wheels of this company!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:12,
Reply)
Course he isYou don't want someone with poor telephone manner being the first impression people get of your company.
I would imagine a nice, friendly-sounding gay, with a Geordie accent puts a lot of people at ease.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:17,
Reply)
hello, have you heard about how the government have told the banks they have to pay you back your PPI?(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:20, Reply)
You sound like a nice young man(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:20,
Reply)
Yes I have! I have been paying PPI that........I didn't want, need or ask for!
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:21,
Reply)
yeah, where all the cogs are linked to an automated dialing system and you read from a script hoping to rip off bewildered old women(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:15,
Reply)
Whenever i get called by Jason's company about PPII tell them which of their statements are flat out lies and that I work in Compliance for a large wealth management firm and know more about the subject than they do.
It's well lol.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:17, Reply)
YOU DO AS LONG AS YOU POST ON B3TA OK????(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:26,
Reply)
because only an utter spastic would need to use a third party claims firm, or indeed work for one(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:27, Reply)
It's your ways that I find.........funny
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:38,
Reply)
My dear FMD-S I find myself in the uncomfortable position of agreeing totally and unequivocally with your post.
I shall, of course, be consulting "the internet" as to whether deletion of my account and subsequent suicide would be appropriate.
Yours as ever
L.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Dearest LAs always, a kind and thoughtful epistle, so gratefully received.
I do so beam with pleasure at our mutual acquiescence toward the very subject of the spasticity of TPC firms abd how they prey on the stupid, both as clients and as employees.
I hope that such an agreement may lead in time to the first fires of friendship.
Yours as always,
FMD-S (Ret.)
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:44, Reply)
My dear FMD-S (R)I do hope you are not attempting to groom me
Yours
L
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Dearest LNot even our beloved mutual friend J would groom you.
With eternal felicitations,
FMD-S (Ret.)
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Click!So eloquent.
Actually, solicitors use firms like ourselves to drum up business for them. Not that I need to explain myself.
Of course, should the market change, I will gladly find other work.
Your concern is duly noted.
Please find attached a diagram instructing how to deal with your opinion.
loltrap.com/pictures/b02f0c434ba1da7396aca257d0eb1e2f.jpg
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:53,
Reply)
learn to post pics you thick benderAlso, learn about how to use reflexive pronouns you thick call centre bender.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Oooh. Right where it hurts!My grammar and job!!
This is gonna be a big bloobloo and no mistake!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:01,
Reply)
Just got an email from the Enterprise Monitoring Managersaying if we want Splunk on our desktops we should raise a ticket.
Well, he didn't say it exactly like that BUT HE SHOULD HAVE.
Seriously, we are using www.splunk.com/?r=header for Enterprise-y stuff. Apparently access to our Splunk is highly controlled. You can extend the power of Splunk with special tools.
etc etc. I'm such a child.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:49,
Reply)
I'm surprised more computers aren't covered in splunk(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:13,
Reply)
"by" works better for a double-entendre in this contextJust some constructive criticism so you can one day become a worthy member of this great site.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:33,
Reply)
Right, I've been fucked over and am now £300 down a monthAnyone know any good agencies? I'm outta here
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:17,
Reply)
Now hold on a minuteShouldn't you have a few more drinks before taking any further action?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:18,
Reply)
This is a good pointI might fuck off to the pub now
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:19,
Reply)
Removed £300 car allowance without telling me(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:21,
Reply)
Is it in your contract? i.e written in along with your salary remuneration.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:22, Reply)
Reviewed every 6 monthsWould have been nice to find out without reading my payslip last night
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
I got almost 6 hours notice!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:24,
Reply)
How did it break down on your travel My missus gets an allowance but in lue of a reduction on fuel expenses etc. We worked out she would be better off claiming full ex's and dropping the allowance
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:29, Reply)
so you go the allowance on top of full ex'sHonest advice is that you cant do anything about it at the moment and once you have had the chance to cool down a bit you can raise it properly with your boss etc. on Monday.
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:38, Reply)
I'm beyond annoyed at the moment17 fucking years here. I think I at least deserved a warning email, dont you?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:55,
Reply)
They obviously waited until I was old enough here to fuck me in the arse(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:03,
Reply)
Oh fucking hell yeahYou have every right to be fucking fuming mate, But as you well know deep down you wont achieve anything addressing it in your current state of mind. Hence you bosses being away is a good thing
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:09, Reply)
I've emailed them and told them I'm registering with agencies on Monday(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:10,
Reply)
Shocking behavior by the powers that beClearly they need to cost cut and that's an easy one to make as it's contractual...losing an employee of 17 years will cost them a fuck of a lot more though.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:12,
Reply)
This place is going down the fucking pan(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:14,
Reply)
You know whatI heard a lot of the employees at that place drink heavily at lunch time
(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Today I couldnt give a fuck(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:14,
Reply)
Im sure that is breaking some rules of contract, just dropping your wage by 3 ton without warning?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:20,
Reply)
I'm sure it probably is, yes(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:21,
Reply)
Well bloody well do something about it man!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
Today I cantMy boss, my bosses boss and my bosses bosses boss are all off
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:24,
Reply)
You stole sporto's car allowance by undercutting him?You rotter.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:26,
Reply)
Mmmm... Burgers.I'm well looking forward to my slow cooked diced beef chilli tonight.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:36,
Reply)
The return rate at new malden's "Korean Kennels" was low(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:37,
Reply)
Just try not to go all Hartley Hare on us, eh mate? Yeah, good.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:41,
Reply)
I don't think he's going to turn into a whaaa whaaaa spastic and fuck his ex(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:45,
Reply)
I dunno, his breakdown started similarly...................almost too similarly
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:48,
Reply)
You're loving these italics!little bit too much...
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:50,
Reply)
Yeah but your head is growing out if your arseLike a hemaroid
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:05,
Reply)
yer, there are only so many weirdo pricks this board can cope with(, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:45, Reply)
He'd tip the balance of a 700ft supertanker the fat cunt(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 16:04,
Reply)
Free scones with jam and clotted cream in the canteenIf you worked here, you'd be sconed by now.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 15:54,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »