Morning!
I'm not working today. But I am about visiting schools, so I'm sill up at stupid o'clock.

How are you all today?



( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 7:26, 384 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi!
I'm working today, hence up at stupid o'clock :( the sun isn't even out of bed when I get up now!

I had a lovely weekend with my daughter, hanging out and walking, cooking, watching movies. Saw Stardust, which was ace! More of this sunny weather! More!

How are you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:15, Reply)

Good morning, all!
I've been up since 5:45. Got the early shift to do. Mind you, I could have turned up at 8:00 and it wouldn't have made much difference. Naff all going on at work.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:26, Reply)

Morning Stig!
Not sure we've met... I've been lurking all weekend therefore feel like I know you already. Odd!

Anyway... allo! Did you do anything interesting this weekend other than polish your cars? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:31, Reply)

Mornings all
I had a shit journey to work because of other people not driving fast enough!

Other than that, things aren't bad.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:33, Reply)

Morning all
I'm in pure groundhog day mode. I've been sat at this desk since 7am and I've got a mountain of paperwork to do, and my phone won't stop ringing. It's the same story virtually every day.

When will people realise that if they stopped ringing me asking when I was going to complete something that they'd get it a hell of a lot quicker? Grrrr...

Managing to casually ignore people in the office courtesy of my iPod and some UNKLE.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:34, Reply)

@ No3
Actually, I did polish and do work on one of my cars! :O) They're the only ladies in my life.....sadly!

I am so flipping hungry!!!! The other chemist in the lab. has been talking about burgers, curries, lamb chops and chips!!! All I've got for breakfast is a bowl of cereal!

Arggghhhhh!!!!!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:39, Reply)

@rubberduck
Perchance you can answer me a question, you being in the business and all.

Why do most supercars come with automatic gearboxes? Why not a proper manual?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:41, Reply)

I'm on a healthy food kick atm
so I'm making the mother of all salads tonight. Any dressing tips muchly appreciated :)

@rubberduck - is that new UNKLE or old UNKLE? I love the old stuff with DJ Shadow... I saw about five mins of then at Reading last year and hated it :(
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:41, Reply)

I generally eat...
healthily. But I'm a fool for chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks! I shouldn't, but I do. Still, I'm a respectable 163 lbs. Not bad for someone who is 5 foot 8.


Yes, I'm a shortie!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:45, Reply)

@Stig
I'm almost four inches taller than you yet only about 4lb heavier. Either I'm a skinny bugger, or... :)

@No3l - dressing tips. Always put your pants on before your trousers.

Today's tip was brought to you by the letter K, and the numbers 2 and 6.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:47, Reply)

K2K6
A manual gearbox that could take the torque without breaking would have a clutch so heavy that it'd be almost unusable in real life - at least that is my understanding from the retail end of the business.

I'm thinking specifically of the Viper and 850i: the Viper was like driving a very frisky tractor.

Most 'modern' autoboxes will have some sort of manual over-ride (steptronic/sequentronic/bananatronic) plus all sorts of adaptive electro-gimmickry to make it feel like a manual drive when it isn't.

Don't even get me started on Automatic Clutch System or similar. Ptooie.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:49, Reply)

@K26K
Hoi, you cheeky cretin! Most of my weight is muscle (No, really, it is!), my BMI is ideal for my height, my cholesterol level is very low and my bones are in good conditions (i.e. no creaking). So, you're clearly skinny!

Soooooooo hungry!

@osok

I prefer cars with auto gearboxes. and by "cars" I mean regular cars. On super cars, it pays to have a manual.

1. the drive is more engaging.
2. it's far lighter than an auto gearbox and in racing lightness pays off.

Apparently, Volkswagen's DSG gearbox is the best compromise.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:51, Reply)

@k2k6
Simple answer - because they're better :-)

Seriously though, the main reasons why automatic gearboxes aren't fitted to smaller-engined, cheaper cars are cost and the fact that an automatic gearbox always incurs some sort of degree of transmission losses.

However, once you're into the realms of several hundred horsepower, the transmission losses are virtually un-noticeable, and a decent auto gearbox (such as the ZF 6HP28 that I work with daily) can change gear much, much better than even the best driver with a manual 'box.

Another issue that you tend to run into with manual 'boxes and high-powered engines is the fact that in order to deal with the sheer torque of these engines, the clutch plate needs to be roughly the size of Ipswich. A corresponding degree of force is then needed on the clutch pedal, and it can make for a very uncomfortable drive. Drive a manual US muscle car to see what I mean.

There's some cheaper, simpler alternatives to a proper epicyclic torque converter auto transmission, such as the Borg-Warner twin-clutch DSG box fitted to some VW group models. These aren't bad at all, and a good compromise between driveability and transmission losses. However, they can quite easily be caught out if you do a gearchange that the electronic brain wasn't expecting, and you'll have to wait a fair few seconds for it to catch up with you.

A dead easy way to see why most large/powerful cars are fitted with auto boxes is to drive something that's available with both (the LR Discovery 3 springs to mind). The manual is utterly dreadful, and it's a real slog to keep it in the power band. The auto is effortless, and much, much faster in everyday driving, even though it's the slower of the two on paper.

<grabs anorak on way out>
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:55, Reply)

@Stig
Hee hee! Yes, I am not the chunkiest chap around. My upper body isn't bad, as I do a bit of swimming, but I have skinny legs.

@osok/rubberduck - so it's just the clutch that's the weak link then? Makes sense. Now, I've not driven anything like a Ferrari or Viper, but any automatics I have driven (including Porsches), even with steptronic or whatever, have been less satisfying to drive than the manual equivalent.

I'm just a bit of a control freak though.

Another thing. Why does a car with the VAG DSG gearbox return such poor fuel economy compared to the standard manual version, when the DSG is essentially a computer controlled manual, and has no torque converter to waste power?


Edit - this was posted before I saw rubberduck's comprehensive reply above!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:58, Reply)

@K2K6
Heheh! I thought that when I posted it... I thought 'I'm glad Kaol's not around' but nice to see you're keeping up the traditions :)

This week's QOTW is useless... is it worth starting an OT thread asking ppl to post a link to their favourite suggestions and get people to click the good ones? There's been a stream of real crap recently :(

I may be alone in thinking this of course...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:59, Reply)

@No3l
New UNKLE I'm afraid. End Titles - Stories For Film.

It's a bit disjointed, and certainly an acquired taste to most people, but I love it.

Then again, most people think I'm a bit strange.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:59, Reply)

Stig
Ahh, but define a 'supercar'. Are we talking something light and extremely quick with a frankly daft power to weight ratio (Lotus?) or something big & fat with a BFO engine and power to burn such as, well, anything built by AMG? Or Aston?

The DSG idea looks technically good, but the 'trade' side of can see the look of bowel-loosening terror when a service receptionist hands over the bill for clutch replacement a few years down the line.

R/duck: the whole clutch thing is why the 8 series never sold back in the day, except to people who'd never driven one.

And when the M Class was facelifted in 2000, the diesel fitted to the manual was de-tuned as there was a good chance of it going 'snap'. The auto would take anything - in fact GMP returned a ML320 with the only duffed autobox we'd ever seen and then sheepishly admitted they'd pulled a HGV tractor unit off the M56 with it....

Anyway, I like auto as I'm lazy, with a manual over-ride of some type for those vanishingly small moments when you can do the vroomy thing.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:03, Reply)

@k2k6
It's a little more complicated than an issue with just the clutch, and depends on a lot of things.

In general, autos are king on stuff with narrow powerbands (such as any diesel engine), as the transmission can be calibrated to keep it on the boil all the time, and it'll iron out the narrow powerband issues to a certain degree.

There are ways of getting a decent manual gearchange from a powerful engine, but you have to look further than the redneck engineering of the US muscle cars. The Porsche 997 Carrera 2S I 'borrowed' last weekend was sublime, and had the best gearchange of any manual box I've ever encountered. It's absolute perfection. the weighting is spot-on and no matter how hard or quickly you shift, you feel like it's mocking you for being too gentle with it, and you can be as ham-fisted as you like and the lever will always find the gate you subconsciously wanted.

My personal preference on manual/auto depends entirely on the car to be honest, and how well the autobox has been set up. In my opinion, Merc 'sports' autos, such as the one in the CLS, are dreadful, and I much prefer the manual equivalent in most cases. This is because the gearbox still appears to have been set up with the German taxi market in mind - it's great for wafting along, but you just can't 'connect' with it when you want to press on. Something like a Jag XKR though, and you see how it's meant to be done...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)

*yawns*
*reads posts*
*yawns more*

So...

I hate Mondays.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:11, Reply)

*is lost*
Tits! Cock! Espresso! Arse crack!

Edit: Ning Kaol... was just talking about you!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

UNKLE drive me mental
I love 'Psyence Fiction' but it's been pants since then. I attributed it to the absence of DJ Shadow but have you heard 'The Outsider'? Pretty poor.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:18, Reply)

There's far more to me than that,
Young man :p

I'm just writing up a story for the QOTW, it's making me feel sad though.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:18, Reply)

@osok
The reason the bill would be so high is because German parts and labour has always be extortionate! I reall don't know why people buy German cars when Japanese ones are cheaper and far more reliable.

I prefer auto gearboxes. They're better for fuel economy, since the gear changes are programmed to change at the optimum rev. (e.g Toyota Prius) Manual gearboxes change when YOU say they do, hence, fuel economy varies (e.g Volkswagen Bluemotion technology).

Also, why is it when people buy a car they want, electric windows, electric sunroof, power steering, electric mirrors and electric seats, but when it comes to the gearbox, they want manual? It's illogical!

@No3

I suggested a QOTW about strange dreams. Didn't get picked up.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:19, Reply)

I know, I know
Sometimes it's just hard to see past the arse crack :p

@baz - I prefer DJ Shadow's hip hop stuff to his newer stuff, things like Quannum and his endless collaborations *grooves*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:22, Reply)

@rubberduck/osok
Hmm, looks like I'll have to drive one of these beasts at some time!

I've never yet enjoyed driving any car with an auto gearbox, although to be fair, the majority have been American hire cars, so that's enough to bias anyone against the auto box! But even the 4.6l Ford V8 found it necessary to change down a gear to keep a constant 70mph on a motorway hill. OK, it required no action on my part as it was on cruise control, but that sort of thing just annoys me! My 2.2l turbodiesel can keep going up hills in 6th gear no bother, without a hint of labouring the engine.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:25, Reply)

*frowns*
Prompted by the comment about "Dreams" above, I had a horrible one last night about going to the Doctors, where they told me I had cancer, inside my shoulder blade, and there wasn't anything they could do about it.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:26, Reply)

Morning all
Not a nice dream there Kaol :/ Last night I dreamt that I had had £10k stolen from my bank accounts, and experienced all the related panicking.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:33, Reply)

That's pretty nast too Lab.
I kinda wish I had 10K to steal in the first place though :p

Also, www.b3ta.com/questions/foodsabotage/post250194
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:36, Reply)

Morning all
How are we all?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)

So do I Kaol
£10k would be lovely right about now!

Morning Ethelred :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:43, Reply)

Badmorning
Yesterday: only day off. Pub. Today: hanging. Slightly green in hue.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:44, Reply)

I'm hanging in there at the moment
I'm dreading suicide Tuesday though - the worst day of the week.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:46, Reply)

ning
I'm currently on a train but since you lot have been talking cars, I have a very non-supercar question: anyone know how much might it cost to get a new downpipe put on a wee old Clio, and should I splash out for a new one or should I go play in the scrapyard, find an old one (15 quid, they tell me), and try and convince someone to fit it for me on the cheap? Car needs mot-ing end of this week...
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:48, Reply)

Yeah...
Tuesdays are a plague on humanity.

They should be replaced with a weekly holiday.
Or "go home early day".
Or "it's ok to drink at work day".
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:49, Reply)

@CHCB
If you're prepared to bodge, then getting an old front pipe off a scrapped motor is the way to go. But you may have trouble getting it off the exhaust manifold, and separating it from the middle pipe. Take a blowtorch with you!

It's a Renault, so it'll cost a fortune* for a new one.

*the voice of experience speaks
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Mornings all
Day off work today! Woo!

My parents got me an amazing present for my birthday. I'm a massive Thunderbirds fan and rather partial to a bit of Captain Scarlet and Stingray too.

Two tickets for www.barrygray.co.uk/events.htm

Brian freaking Blessed is presenting it too!
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Sometimes
If it's a quiet Tuesday, I like to watch episodes of Robot Chicken on the internets. Try it, it's very funny indeed.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:53, Reply)

I dreamed
I was fishing at the local reservoir, sat next to a big blue/green algae monster who was also fishing. Thoroughly good monster, passed me a joint and regaled me with tales of big fish.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:53, Reply)

dammit
I'm all out of blowtorches. Would a lighter and an aerosol can do? Or maybe Kaol has one in his armoury?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Blow torch?
Nah, sorry.
I'd just smack it with a crowbar.
Over and over again.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Well....
the site where I work is closing, so I'll have a fat redundancy cheque coming to me, but I'll have no job.

This country sucks big time....
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Stig
Wanna work for me?

Also, that's rubbish, I'm sorry to hear that.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:57, Reply)

She-at Stig
that sucks :(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Bad luck Stig
Kaol... are you going to hire him for some dark purpose? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Good morning all!
*waggles*

Happy ruddy Monday!

How was your weekend, eh? Lots of fun in London. went out celebrating not having nastiness in my testiclay (don't know how to the the accent of the e thingy) on Saturday night, and somehow gave myself an eye infection.

I am all different kinds of sexy right now.

Still, a 4-day week tpo look forward to and a trip to Cumbria at the weekend. Lovely.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:02, Reply)

Well...
I'm planning a bank-job, and I need someone to off some security guards.

And I only kill women.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:02, Reply)

Morning DiT
We raised a glass to your bollocks on Saturday.

I was going to say toasted but that would have sounded wrong.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Apparently...
Dreams are a product of dimethyltriptamine (DMT) which is produced by your pineal gland. DMT is the most powerful hallucinogen in the world. That's why dreams are so abstract. They (sometimes) have a slight meaning, but the DMT makes the dreams so obtuse that the meaning is difficult to see. This is also an explanation to "near death" experiences and one's "life flashing before one's eyes". It's your pineal gland producing more DMT (like your adreaneal gland producing too much adrenaline).

If your pineal gland can't produce enough DMT to cause dreaming, then one stand's the risk of (and I'm blinding you with science here) "going mental". Dreaming is an important mechanism of releasing one's pressure, in this case, mental pressure.

Essentially. dreaming is one big drug trip.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimethyltryptamine#Psychedelic_properties

N.B: for anyone who will meet me on Thursday, I'm not normally this boring, I promise!

*Edit*

Thanks for all your support, but I'll muddle through. My car journalism job will bring a little money in. I might have to start selling my body!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Morning my lovelies.
Stig - sorry to hear that.
Kaol - killed anyone yet this morning?
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:06, Reply)

CHCB
A 'nice' scrappy will have the bit removed and ready to go when you arrive.

But.....Renault?

*winces*

Renault & MOT in the same sentence?

*spasms*

The eeeeeeleeeeecccctttttrrrrrrriiiicccccssss......Noooooooooo
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@BK
Hehe, thanks for avoiding that! ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@osok
Don't say that. My troublesome Laguna is in for its MoT as I write!

Funnily enough the electrics have been fine. It's the rest of the car that's shite.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Eh...
I kinda agree, Stig, but there's another aspect to dreaming.

If you've watched a film about, say, zombies, and you go to sleep and dream about zombies, that's not triggered by hallucinations, it's your brain re-enforcing neural pathways.

Kinda like going over the lines to a song in your head 'til you know 'em really well.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Morning Clendrix.
Oh well life goes on!

As for the Renault, may I suggest, instead of an MOT, you get a push bike instead? It'll be more reliable and you'll have more credibility on the road!

If anyone is interested, the best small cars on the road are:

Toyota Yaris
Honda Jazz
Nissan Micra.

People on a budget: FIAT 500.

(thinks) Stop talking about cars, Stiggy!

*Edit* Kaol, that was my point (albeit, I'm not that articulate). DMT makes dreaming too abstract and can come out in funny ways. Like watching a zombie film, the DMT will make you dream it but add a metaphor to it. The metaphor will be so well hidden, it'll seem totally abstract and nonsensical.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Awh!
*kisses Stig on the cheek*

I like being called "articulate", flattery will get you everywhere :D


Mornin' Clendrix! I've not killed anyone yet, but I've written up that QOTW story about the mouse omelette I was telling you about!
www.b3ta.com/questions/foodsabotage/post250194
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Kaol...
English isn't my first language. French is. But I've spent so long speaking English, that it's slowly becoming my first language. But I still make mistakes.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:17, Reply)

Good morning everyone :)
I should really be cleaning the house and doing car stuff but *stretches* I haven't quite woke up yet :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)

I really wanted
a K10 micra but I wasn't willing to pay the 500 quid they wanted. The clio was my mate's and was very cheap, plus I used to drive a diesel clio that I loved and was dirt cheap to run. This petrol one ain't as economical but my god, I have responsive acceleration for the first time ever!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

@TGB
But you're awake enough to log onto B3ta?
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Bloody hell!
I'd've had no idea, that doesn't come across at all, good work!

We all make mistakes, anyway, so it's nothing to worry about, although I've not noticed you making any :p
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Morning all!
snot fair it's Monday again already!

I had a lovely weekend though.

Is everyone well today?
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Always awake enough for B3ta :p
My housemate has an old clio and I am replacing the blower motor on that some point so I can book you in as well if you want CHCB *gets Haynes manual ready* :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Morning all
Off work today TGB?

Interesting topics of conversation so far today. I shall contribute precisely nothing to any of them.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)

*squeals*
Lusty!
*hugs*
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Hahaha!
"Blower motor".

*grins*

Also, mornin' all!
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Hey PoD
Yup have three days off as I have loads of stuff I have to do. Later I will mainly be cleaning the house and removing an engine. Should probably do the house first or I will probably leave oily handprints everywhere...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Mornin, TGB!
And Stig, I'm very impressed. Didn't have a clue.

I suggest that, in your honour, we talk in French for the next few minutes.

Err...

Je voudrais un chambre avec un douche. Ou est la toilette? Oui. Le sange et sur la branche. Je voudrais un sandwich Jambon.*

(*I accept no responibility for the awfulness/innacuracies in my French. Please direct any complaints C/O The Helena Romanes School, Parsonage Downs, Gt. Dunmow, Essex, where they will be happy to deny my existence, probably...)

EDIT: Ning, Lusty!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)

Yay clendrix!
*cuddles*

Ohhh that's much better. Nothing like a bit of lady touching to set me up for the day.
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)

I can only say
voulais vous couche avec moi ce soir. Probably all spelt wrong... I have trouble spelling in English...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Si tu desire, Mme Badger.
I can speak ok french, but I suck at writing it.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Morning again :)
I don't have any days off until November :s I reckon I'll be on Off Topic an awful lot until then, my current work is frightfully dull.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)

I'll see you at 10 then Kaol? ;)
Some woman is coming to assess the energy efficiency of my house later. That should be fun :/

Hey Lab :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)

French
I can understand French, but I mix my tenses up when speaking or writing it.

Mangez-moi, pour j'oublie mon patalons.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:29, Reply)

Engine efficiency of your house?
How on earth does that work?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:29, Reply)

hey TGB
can you weld? I'd love to be able to weld. I need someone tolerant enough of my innate clumsiness to teach me.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:30, Reply)

Madames et monsieurs....
Anglais, si vous plait, ANGLAIS! C'est une Royuame uni website, n'est pas une grenouille website!

DiT, le SINGE est sur le branch. N'est pas "SANGE". Oui, monsieur?
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:30, Reply)

I can weld badly :p
My dad is teaching me at the moment :) so give me a couple months!

PoD I had already ninja'd that ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:31, Reply)

CHCB
I can weld :D

But I've not got any kit.
I used to do welding on a ship. It was cool!
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:31, Reply)

Is website
really 'website' in French?

Gaelic is like that too. Up here were get the odd Gaelic news bulletin on telly, and interspersed with the incomprehensible (to me) babble are recognisable words like 'helicopter' and 'oil rig'.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:32, Reply)

I'd like to learn to weld
I should just go find some welding stuff in the uni and practice on something. How hard can it be?

I hate people ninja-ing stuff. It makes me look stupid.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)

@K26K
Probably not, but it's such a stupid language, I couldn't be bothered to find out.

I'm trying to learn Dutch. I know a few words, but I need to learn more....
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)

PoD
You are stupid!
Hahaha!
*points*
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)

@ Pepe Le Stig
Oui, je comprends! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Sorry PoD
And it is easy to stick stuff to other stuff as long as it is pretty think, but getting a consistent and tidy weld is pretty tough. And thin metal is really tough as it just starts getting holes.

My dad is uncharacteristically patient with me when I have a welding tourch in my hand.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

@Stig
I've got a cold at the moment and therefore would be ideally placed for speaking Dutch, what with all the phlegm in my throat.

Only I know virtually no Dutch, other than the odd word which sounds like Scots, like 'uitgang' for exit (it's whaur ye gang oot).
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:36, Reply)

Ooh, it's getting busy
*hugs everyone*
*coughs up a lung*

@ TGB
How was the Isle of Wight?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:36, Reply)

Hey BK *hugs*
It was really good thanks :D We went to the beach and made sandcastles and dug a massive hole that my friend tried to climb in to. I'd post pics but I know Kaol has sand issues :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:38, Reply)

Morning BK
*Matrix-dodges BK's lung*

That looked painful.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:39, Reply)

*puts BK's lung back in*
There you go, you might need that.
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:39, Reply)

i can swear copiously in Dutch
thanks to two Dutch ex-boyfriends. Will trade swear words for welding lessons or similar.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

Just tell Kaol
not to look, TGB.

Post them, go on. I'm sure we all would like to see a picture of your hole at the beach.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

@ TGB
*hug*

Glad you had a great time.
Saturday at BGB's was awesome. I got sooo drunk!
Don't think I've laughed so much in years, and I got to hear Tourette's say 'cunted in the fuck' in her Geordie twang. Brilliant!

*edit*
Thanks Lusty. *huggles*
*swallows lung again*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

Morning everybody.
Are we all good today, except for coughing up the odd lung (You don't really need that anyway BK)?

I'm trying to learn Russian at the momment, I say trying but in fact I'm failing miseably!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)

@CHC
TWO dutch boyfriends?! Didn't you learn the first time?!

The Dutch are my kind of people, very laid back and got a great attitude to life. Non-judgmental and very tolerant. However, if you drink ANYTHING other than Amstel or Heineken, they are forced to kill you!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:44, Reply)

I can't swear in Dutch
but I was once taught, by an Icelander, how to say "you shag sheep" in Norwegian.

You don't get that one in the phrasebooks.

And my mate worked with four Polish blokes. He is good mates with one of them in particular, who has taught him the full gamut of swear words in Polish. He now comes out with them all the time, but forgets that there are actually quite a few people here these days who speak Polish...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Well here is my mate
trying to dig more sand out. Think it was about 4 foot when we finished :D
img184.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc00102mb6.jpg

Glad you had a good weekend BK :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Teehee
My first thought when I saw that photo was that he looked like some sort of dead ostrich.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:48, Reply)

Not looking... Not looking...
WHY did I look at that?

:(
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Morning folks
I'll join those of you with the Monday blues. Still, it's payday this week so that's something to look forward to!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)

haha
Kaol you muppet.

PoD that cracked me up!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)

I love digging in the sand!
I could spend hours doing it.

Kudos on the four unusual tits too :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)

Curiosity, meet cat :(
You KNEW I'd do that, didn't you?
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)

No!
I would have gazzed the pic to you if I wanted you to see it/was feeling particularly evil :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Oh...
Sorry, I just assumed that you were as evil as I am :p
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)

I would have gazzed you it Kaol
*searches for photos with sand in*

Meh, can't find any.

Right, I'm off to spend money on guitar leads and the like. What fun. Ah, need to make a list first.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:01, Reply)

PoD
Buy me some all-metal acoustic strings please! I need to re-string mine.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)

Right
1 - What make do you use?

2 - No.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Awh!
1 - I don't know :| Can you recommend me some?

2 - Thought as much...
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)

I need some
back to black anyone want to but me some :p

My bumpers are now grey. I thought they were supposed to be grey.. but apparently not...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:05, Reply)

I use Martin strings on my acoustic
The medium ones I think. Or the heavy. I can't really remember.

They're good strings though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:07, Reply)

@TGB
I've got about 6 cans of the stuff. Don't ask how I ended up with that many, but you're welcome to some of it.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)

@k2k6
Scrolling back a bit

Website is usually "site internet" in French, though I wouldn't be surprised to see someone use "website".

The official French term for email is courriel ("courier électronique"), but "email" is commonly used too.
( le brian, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)

Sounds ok to me
As long as they're not those horrible nylon ones.
*shudders*

I think I'll go for medium, and just learn to be a bit less ham-fisted.

Remember, it's not a bass.
Be gentle.
Caress it like a woman...
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Thanks Duckie
My housemate has just informed me he has some though *steals* If you have any clear lacquer that would be aces as I still have to respray my sill :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)

@TGB
I was thinking about some poor joke regarding giving your bumpers a rub, but I decided against it.

When my grandad died, we went along to clear out the house and outbuildings. He was a real hoarder and in the garage we found literally a dozen cans of something called 'Rubitoff', which I can only assume was some sort of abrasive, either along the lines of rubbing compound or T-Cut. Thing is, for the 30 years I knew him, I never once experienced him doing anything to his car other than changing the oil and occasionally washing it, so how long that stuff was in the garage I have no idea!

Had I kept it, you'd have been welcome to it! Not that it's any good for bumpers, mind.

*rambles aimlessly*

Edit - merci, le brian.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)

Morning all
I'm off sick today. Anyone want the dreaded lurgy?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)

The rubitoff
Would look good sat next to the penetration fluid :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

@TGB
I'm a mine of useless car bits. I do indeed have a can of clear lacquer...

I'm sitting here wondering how I've got so much back to black. My car hasn't even got any black trim on it either...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

hah brilliant :p
Did you
a) Once have a car with black bumpers
b) Steal it

Lacqerness would be awesomes :D I have been meaning to do it for about a year.... never quite got round to it...
I could probably do with some more primer as well if you have any spare? ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:16, Reply)

I just googled Rubitoff
to see if the product still exists. And indeed it does, but I'm not sure that this is the stuff my grandad had in his garage.

His was in cylinders like little scouring powder containers.

And he never wore high heels or played squash. To my knowledge.

I fancy a bit of Kendal mint cake now
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:19, Reply)

I'm not quite sure
I can't ever remember buying any. All my cars have had painted bumpers, and my current car hasn't got any black trim on it whatsoever.

Why I've got some lacquer too I don't know - I've never resprayed anything.

The only conclusion I can draw is that I must have bought it when I was drunk. Either that or I live in the vicinity of some petrolhead squirrels who are using my garage as some sort of hoarding location.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Cool so there may be other wonderous
items in your garage? Maybe some 1200 wet dry paper I need some more of that too :p And possibly some more P40...

*rummages*


K2K6 I could do with some of that for my kitchen floor!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:21, Reply)

Ning nings to
Clenny, Boss, TGB, Wandy, Stig et al.

I can weld:

ARC and Tig, I'm best wielding an Oxy-Acetylene torch mind you.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)

Bizarrely
I have various grades of wet or dry paper, white primer, clear lacquer and several other car-related items here in the lab! We do use them for non-vehicular purposes though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

You're a braver man than I...
to be googling 'rub it off'! :P

EDIT: I'm searching for inspiration for tattoo designs... I'm considering getting a half sleeve done, but can't find any inspirational designs that fit my wantings... Any ideas for net resources anyone? Or maybe one of you talented bastards would like a comission? :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Grr re-spraying cars!
My car was broken into about 2 months ago. They didn't take anything but the smashed glass scratched the paint work. I was most pissed off because the car was brand fucking new in April.
Anyways I had it resprayed only to find last week that there was another fucking great scratch!

And to add insult to injury I've just heard from the police that the cunts involved got off because their wasn't enough evidence. CUNTS
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

1200 wet dry paper?
Working in a furniture factory has it's perks, haha!

EDIT: DiT, I used to do some commission work for a tattoo parlour. What do you want?
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

What the hell are you people going on about?
Wotcher Effel.

*wanders off*
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)

Try deviantart
for tattoo designs. And Google will direct you to loads of cool sites. I looked around a few months ago for my inane doodlings.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)

*cries*
Wet+dry paper. 250, 600, 800 and 1200 grades - check

P40 - check
P38 - check

I've just remembered why I've got half of this stuff. Last year I helped my sister sort out her car after a little altercation with a garden wall. The pure horror of getting a decent finish on the lacquer meant I'd erased the incident from my mind.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:27, Reply)

@Mrs Bin
Did your insurance cover the respray? I think most glass cover also includes paintwork if the damage is caused by the broken glass. If not, then I dread to think what your bill was.

Do you know the (alleged) culprits? Perhaps you need some subtle means of inflicting some minor punishment, such as painful death, on them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Just had a shed chuckout
And I am in the process of finding lots of half-used 'gunks'.

Trim blackening stuff? Yup.
Tar removing solvent? Yup.
Not one but two Supaguard kits.
Replacement aerial for a car that was scrapped six years ago? You guessed it.
Saab CD changer (haven't owned a Saab in 3 years).
Vauxhall, Peugeot and VW touchup paint in assorted colours.

I am strangely tempted to mix all the liquids together in a plastic drum, and make the world's messiest paintbomb.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:28, Reply)

DiT
Do you have a style or rough idea of what you want?

Duckie I will be happy to take anything you don't need :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)

DiT
To echo TGB's questions, what kind of tattoo style are you drawn towards? Colours, black and grey, or pure black?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:32, Reply)

@ K2k6
The respray was covered by the insurance so it wasn't the end of the world. The real bitch is that it is a colour peculiar to this make and model.
The fuckers did this while it was parked outside the front door. Mr Bin chased them up the road and got the number of the car they got into. However as they had their faces covered he couldn't ID them.

My mum works for a company who adjust cars to take wheelchair passengers. They have a re-spray place there and have to do all kinds of colours so hopefully they'll do it for me when I go down there next.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)

I need to go take the engine crane
out my car.

If I am not back in 20 mins I have been squashed. Please send help.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)

In other news
we now have our fifth dwarf planet: Haumea.

I'm probably the only person who cares tho :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Got a link
No3l?
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:47, Reply)

@No3l
When you say we, does that mean the folks in whatever office or building you're currently in?

I now have this image of you sitting there with your own small satellites orbiting around you!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Pirate Monkey
You're new...
Where's Super Weasel?
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:49, Reply)

I saw the thing
about the new dwarf planet yesterday, but I think the IAU were still voting on whether it was going to be official or not.

I feel sorry for Pluto, myself. Relegated into the lower divisions as it was.

Edit - hello Pirate Monkey.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Hullo!
Sorry, I was dealing with an irritating client who has suddenly decided our prices are extortionate.

He has two hopes of us reducing charges for him, and one of them is Bob.

Aaaanyway: Re tattoo stuff:

I think I'd prefer black and grey, but wouldn't mind flicks of colour for depth. I'd like something that's quite nordic in its look, maybe a longboat on a rolling ocean, that kind of thing, with clouds swelling above, topped with a Thor's Hammer.

Kind of thing. Am I making any sense here?

OR: Something completely and totally abstract, featuring a load of dotwork.

Also:

They are CUNTS, Mrs. L. Let's get vigilante on 'em!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Sounds cool DiT!
I'm afraid I can't do that kinda style, but I'm sure you'd rather me tell you that straight out :p
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:54, Reply)

^Cheers matey!
But I'd like to see some of your stuff anyway, just out of interest.

I'm fascinated by tattoo art, it's something I'd love to be able to do, but can't!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:56, Reply)

No link I'm afraid
as Opera Mini have yet to incorporate my suggestions for copy and paste... look at the news section on Wikipedia.

And I meant the 'royal' we :) although now I really want my own satellites!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:57, Reply)

DiT
I'll link you to my website once it's all up :)
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:01, Reply)

DiT
I can picture in my head what you'd like, sounds like you've put some thought into it :)

Have you tried picking up a copy of Skin Deep magasine? They showcase a wide range of tattoos, and you can get an idea of which artists you like the work of.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)

^Good idea!
I'll see if they have on in Smiths at Lunchtime...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Afternoon all.
what's going on? What's the current topic?
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Inded afternoon to all, I just got in so hi to everyone

( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Tightly!
Time for a new sig from you - I'm bored of that one.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)

The current topic
Is "How Awesome Kaol Is".
Feel free to join in masturbating his ego.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)

The current topic
is egg masturbation.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:08, Reply)

@ Kaol
I'm kind of new. I snuck in quietly last week. Didn't manage to smuggle a Super Weasel with me though I'm afraid....

On the subject of tattoos, can anyone recommend some good sources for Mayan/Aztec artwork? I saw a piece on the back of someone's calf in Skin Deep a while back and I fancy getting something similar as a sleeve on my arm but I reckon it's going to need a bit of planning first!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)

No it isn't!
You're a dirty liar No3l!
*shakes fist*
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Kaol is as awesome as
finding a fiver in your pocket. Happy? :P

The woman who lives opposite me is hoovering her drive...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:13, Reply)

Are you sure she
is not just levitating?

Oh, hoovering!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Hoovering?
Really?

Wow!
She should be chemically castrated.
And then any children she already has should be burned in front of her.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)

@ TGB
I wouldn't deem that awesome if I put a tenner in there
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Finding a fiver in your pocket
could be a disappointment though, if you expected it to be a tenner.

Just saying.

I see you are back, Miss Badger. I was getting concerned about your unsquashedness.

Edit - Damn, Ethel beat me to it.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)

Afternoon all
I return with some cables, and a new set of pans for the kitchen, as the ones here were rubbish, and the ones I bought were 60% off.

Superweasel was about at the weekend I seem to recall Kaol.


Kaol is awesome as a long lie. No?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Morning Clenders!
But.. I like my sig... :(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)

@ K2K6
You may bow to my impressive speed.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)

*whistles*
I've got Sun Magic orange juice.
It's nearly as awesome as me!
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Impressive speed eh ethel?
:p
I do hope the pics you have are of lovely boobies...
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:21, Reply)

picky picky people
I meant when you weren't expecting to find anything.

My hand is killing me, think I may have overdone it lifting that crane by myself :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:21, Reply)

Sweet Tightly
so do I! But I just wondered if you might present us with something new.

Just ignore me. I am in a very bad mood.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Bad mood?
aww *hugs and chocolate for Clendrix*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)

Speed isn't everything, Ethelred!
Sometimes you need to come second....

I am interested in the titty pics though.

Which leads me to say, hello wanderlust!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)

*cackles*
I kinda meant that as a compliment, Kaol :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)

It's ok No3l :p
Also, I like your sig.

And I like particle physics.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:26, Reply)

Gripe of the day.
Why are people so mind-numbingly stupid?!

I was speaking to a group of people at work (all women, incidentally, not that has much bearing on my story, but the kind of women who think they know so much about the world because they have children. I'm sure you've met a few people like that) and these women were babbling on about injustices in the world (i.e oppressive regimes, global warming, social deprivation etc). Then, I piped up. "How many of you bank with HSBC/Halifax/Natwest/RBS/insert any high street bank here?". Everyone of them said "Yes". Then, I let my diatribe loose:

"Are you lot aware that these banks use your money to fund and invest in these very opressive regimes and social injustices that you talk about? You're just as guilty as the people perpetrating them! If you wanted to make a stand, then close your accounts and move to an ethical bank (i.e Co-operative Bank, Tridos etc). Make a stand, instead of talking about it!"

Then, one of them hit back with this argument that killed my point dead in the water:

"But my bank gives me a good rate of interest."

I fear for the rest of the human race....

P.S For the record, I bank with the Co-Operative for this very reason. I feel I have no right in talking about these issues, if I'm with a bank which funds them, with my money.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:27, Reply)

*laughs*
Hello K2k6!
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

Thanks, Badger.
Chocolate is just right.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

Speaking as a mothhher
/bill bailey
Doesn't matter who I bank with I don't have any money for them to fund anything with :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

@clendrix
I glanced at your last post, and saw 'chocolate' in the same field of vision as 'arse crack', which made me giggle.

OK, I'm off out for a bit, seeing as it's a nice day and I've to post a letter.

Anyone care to give me a jiggle to send me on my way?

*looks at wanderlust*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Co-Op Bank
Might be 'effical' but I sold their chief exec a car a few years ago....was it the most economical? was it the most cost effective? was he a gobshite? (clue, the answer to two of the above is 'no'...........
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:36, Reply)

"Speaking as a Mother..."
"Is that a euphemism for 'talking out of my arse...'? "Suspending rational thought for a moment"? As a rational human being, Al-Qaeda are a loose association of psychopathic zealots who could be rounded up with a sustained police investigation. But speaking as a parent, they’re all eight foot tall, they’ve got lasers under their moustaches, a huge eye in their foreheads and the only way to kill them is to NUKE every country that hasn’t sent us a Christmas card in the the last 20 years!! Speaking as a mother."

Gotta love the Bailey!

(Can't wait for Tinselworm to come out on DVD... I was there, man!)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)

*jiggles*
Have a nice walk, Mr. K.

Which one were you at DiT?
I was there too! Wembley Arena, in a big grey cowboy had :D
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

*jiggles*
*decides to be sensible and give the jiggling a rest for a bit*
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

@DiT
I was there too at the Sheffield date.
3 rows from the front. He was tremendous!

*edit*
@ Lusty

Spoilsport!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)

@ Osok
He was probably northern. That would explain it.

I still think Co-op is the best organisation out there to make a change for the better.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)

Chocolate and arse cracks.
Perhaps today isn't so bad after all...
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)

@The Stig
Oooh dear, North/South Civil War coming!


(As I was born in Embra, anyone Sarf of Hadrian's Wall is by default a soft shandy-drinking Suvvern poof)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:46, Reply)

I was at the Wembley gig....
The one that was recorded - wish I'd seen the cowboy hat!

Hey! ASDA! I ain't gonna be your bitch!

The sitar-off was awesome as well.

Anyway, is this better, clenders?

EDIT: At the risk of becoming a one-man Bill Bailey quoting machine:

"A lot of people say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I don't think there's a fine line, I actually think there's a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with balloons tied to his ears, he's not going home to invent a rocket, is he?"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:47, Reply)

Tightly
*hugs bigly*

You rock.

Hurrah - friend just called and said, 'Let's have lunch.'
*leaves in a hurry*
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:49, Reply)

Come say that to my face Osok...
*grins*

DiT, I was there too! The encore was amazing!

Also... "Hosenpresse"
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:50, Reply)

@osok
Bring it on! I'm southern dandy and proud of it! Unlike you uneducated "Norvern" proles! :O)

*Edit* On the subject of Bill Bailey (paraphrasing):

"I hate it when they use 'acid' to describe something. Like 'It's like 'Terry and June' on acid!'. If there was a sitcom like that, it would consist of 3 hours of Terry and June looking at a pattern on a plate saying things like 'Cor, that's brilliant, isn't it?'!"

Sheer genius!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Awesome QOTW story:
www.b3ta.com/questions/foodsabotage/post250421#qotw-post-250434

(It's not mine, I promise!)
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:54, Reply)

@Kaol
Sorry, soft cider/vodka drinking Suvvern puff, my apologies.

Anyway, I can see your face. Okay, the cross-hairs get in the way a bit, but nothing's perfect... and put the can of OJ down, I'll never get the shot.

Oops, sorry off to pop a 'lunchbox special' under the Stig's Jag...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:55, Reply)

If you shoot my Sun Magic,
There'll be hell to pay!

Also, I got myself a Spyderco Harpy knife at the weekend, thought you'd appreciate knowing that more than most on here :D
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Knifey Knifey...... Lovely
I haven't bought a new knife for ages due to being poor, but the experience of a morning going through recruitment websites might just tip the balance.

Although it'd have to be nice to out-shiny my CRKT M-16.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)

@ Kaol
Ah, the Hosenpresse!

Genius! I'd have thought the DVD would have been out by now. It was last November I went to see him.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:03, Reply)

Woo, pretty knives!
I'm off for Day One of the Whisky Challenge now, back later :D
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:06, Reply)

Apparently...
It's going to be out in time for Primary Gifting Season!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:09, Reply)

All this talk
Of the mighty Bailey has put me in the mood for watching some of his dvds.

Advantages of being a scummy student with no money, can watch dvds all afternoon.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)

I has comed back
from my jaunt down the town.

It's the first week of the new semester, which means that the campus, and the streets around, are awash with young people looking like they've been dressed out of an Oxfam shop's fire sale.

Saw an excellent pair of jiggling boobies though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)

Nings
*bleary yawn*

Dunno what to do with myself today. I was all psyched up for a dentist appointment which turns out to be on wednesday instead. So I have another two days to look forward to it and a system full of adrenelin to work off somehow.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)

Hello WFF
Surely you can't have adrenaline for 48 hours?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)

Fuzzers
If you want adrenaline/rage, try filling in an online application form for a Govt Agency who shall remain nameless....

They wanted my exam pass marks.

From 1987 to 1990.

For Yellow Rubbery Minty Flavoured Fuck's Sake.


However, I did find a picture of me in the MEN fondling a reptile while I was searching so it's not all bad.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)

Afternoon fuzzy, Edmund
Both well, other than being full of adrenaline?

I just won a game of darts. Wooyay!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:16, Reply)

Afternoon PoD
Well, thanks. How's you?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:18, Reply)

Hey Fuzzy
Make more slide shows for my our amusement
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Pub at lunchtime
PoD? Nice work.

Edmund, no, I don't want adrenelin for 48 hours, I need something to do which will get it out of my system.

Osok, congrats for swearing the best swear of the day.

EDIT: 'ning Badgey, that is a fine suggestion... yay for comedy!
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:21, Reply)

Noons
On my 15th day of giving up drinking. After giving up smoking last year too!

So far there have been no casualties, although if death ray eye vision was a real thing a few of our help desk staff would be little piles of smoking cinders on the floor right now!

Life over 40 is no fun, I reckon Logans Run had it just about right!
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:22, Reply)

WFF
Go for a run?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:25, Reply)

I'm doing grand
No pub at lunchtime, I'm in my flat. My flatmate has a dartboard on his wall. And it's the first time I've beaten him.

Ooo, I do have cider in the fridge. I think it shall accompany lunch.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)

Fuzzy you can also come wash my car if
you need to get rid of some energy :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:28, Reply)

Pub at home
PoD, even better!

Where do you live TGB? If I run all the way there and then wash your car that will be TWO adrenelin dispersing things :)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)

In Warwickshire
Slap bang in the middle of the midlands :p

I'll put the kettle on:p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:31, Reply)

@ fuzzy
A good hard wank helps get the adrenaline out of the system.

At least, I think it's adrenaline...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Afternoon, ancrenne
*snogs back*

*tastes olives*

*retches*

Hmm, sorry, not much of a welcome, was it?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Illegal Pants?
The Bottom Inspectors will be wanting a word, then.


Fear the Bottom Inspectors
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:37, Reply)

So back to egg masturbation
I've been beating off and egg for about 20 minutes now and nothings happening. :(
( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:37, Reply)

If you beat an egg it'll go stiff eventually!

Although if you overdo it, it will go soft again.

Edit@ancrenne - can't speak for all of my fellow countrymen, but to me olives are one of the most disgusting things to be regarded as a foodstuff.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:38, Reply)

You must be doing it wrong
It's all in the wrist... if you get it right it'll go a thick white consistency.

All of today's wanking advice brought to you by the resident expert :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:41, Reply)

@acrenne
I see that you'll be coming to TRL's bash on thursday? Be nice to see you. :O)

Don't worry, I understand that you have naff all idea who I am. I don't even know who I ma half of the time. Drugs are my saviour and my curse! Gah!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:42, Reply)

Anyone in Cornwall want to come to my housewarming
when we hopefully move in at the beginning of next month?

We have a roof and everything!!!
( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)

Woo to newhouseness!
If it wouldn't take me 10-15 hours to hitch-hike down there, I would.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:47, Reply)

Breaking news!
Just had a call from the garage to say that my car has passed its MoT. Now, this would not be in any way unusual or notable for any other 5 year old car, but mine failed its last two tests miserably.

So I'm happy that I don't have to spend any more money on it in the near future. Woo!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)

@Acrenne
That was Black Stig (AKA. Ethnic minority Stig). I'm white stig (AKA: Caucasian Stig). Which is funny, because I'm black IRL. Well, I say "Black" more sort of tanned. And I have an Irish surname. Jeez, I'm a mess!

I am tempted to wear my "I am The Stig" T-Shirt. But I think that is "Geek-hood" going too far. I bore people about cars, I should leave it there!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)

@K26K
Your Laguna is 5 years old? What did it fail on the last two times?
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:49, Reply)

@Stig
First time - track rod ends. I've since replaced them both for a second time, and one of them for the third time. The last offside one lasted only 7 months, which is about 14000 miles for me. There was something else it failed on too, but I forget what.

Last year it failed again, but I forget what it was for. And I got an advisory note re play in the track rod ends, precipitating the second replacement.

Strangely, neither the bottom balljoints nor even the anti roll bar drop links have yet failed, and the car's got about 115000 miles on it. I have however replaced the strut top bearings twice, and the rear suspension bushes twice too.

It really has been a disaster of a car.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)

@K26k
I really hate Renaults with a passion. They're unreliable and the build quality is appalling. Trouble is, Nissan and Renault now work together and Renault's "cost cutting" approach to building a car is permeating into Nissan.

I'm a Toyota man, through and through. Honda are good as well. Renault cars are cheap, but you pay the price later with them....
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Stig
You sound even more mixed up than me. Genetically that is, not, like, mentally or anything.

No31, I am a girl. I can't er... manifest adrenelin in the way that blokes of a more blokey persuasion can.

Mmmm olives *noms*

EDIT: ancrenne, I am a bit confused about the legality of your pants too, and a bit worried, in case there are pant laws I am unfamiliar with and could be risking a lifetime in prison through ignorance.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)

Hmmm
The Jag has its first MOT next month. It should be OK, but the front brake discs are looking a little on the thin side. I'm hoping they'll be OK, as I don't really want to be stiffed for £300 for replacements. And yes, that IS just the cost of the parts. *sob*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)

@Stig
My previous Laguna, a Mk 1, was a great car. I had to put a radiator in it, but other than wear and tear, it didn't have very much done to it in 135000 miles. But the Mk 2 is made of matchsticks and bits of wire by comparison. And the interior rattles like a bucket of spanners.

Next time, I'll likely be buying German or Japanese. Certainly not French, anyway.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)

@ Rubberduck
What Jag do you have?

*Edit* K26k, Stay away from German. They're just as bad! Go Japanese (Toyota, Honda or Mazda) or South Korean (Hyundai or Kia).
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)

@rubberduck
Funnily enough, I just replaced my rear discs. Bought them from ebay at 2/3 of Renault's price, for the genuine article, and fitted them myself.

Worth a go. It's not a difficult job if you have the tools and a half day spare.

Edit, in light of comment below: Even with Brembo brakes, the job shouldn't be any more difficult. Although sourcing the parts on ebay might be!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)

@The Stig
A planet-killing S-Type R, with horrendously expensive Brembo front brakes...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)

Hello!
Hello everyone, how are you all? Have I turned up at CarTalkTime again?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:07, Reply)

Mmm...
Whisky is a fantastic lunchtime drink.

I think I had a double though, by accident.
Which means that Friday is going to kill me :(
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:07, Reply)

I don't think duckie
has any problems with fitting them! I drive a fiesta duckie you get no sympathy for me about expensive parts for your flashy car :p

hehe
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:08, Reply)

I have access to
a nice 4-post lift too, making life easy-peasy :-)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:09, Reply)

@Rubberduck
S-Type? nice! I've got the X-Type. For what it's worth, I wouldn't worry about your Jag. Jaguars are extremely reliable cars (on par with Lexus). I'd certainly trust them more than anything German. I'd be extremely surprised if it failed anything on your MOT.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:09, Reply)

Really Duckie?
Because I have an exhaust to change soon and that would make my life easier ;)

@Stig that comment made me laugh, but only because I know where Duckie works :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:10, Reply)

Ah yes
a 4 post lift would make life easier!

I had to make do with trolley jacks and axle stands :(
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)

@TGB
Sorry, you'll have to clarify your statement to me. I still don't understand what comment I made that made you laugh!
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:12, Reply)

haha
Pants Ancrenne :p *waves at both her and B3ta Ancrenne*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:12, Reply)

'Lo Ancrenne!
*pounces*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Ancrenne
Panty pant pant pants.
Y fronts, thongs, french knickers.
Much better than silly old cars! :)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:14, Reply)

@ Lucy
Next time you're drunk and freezing cold, see if "La Senza" will give you a lift home? ;O)
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:17, Reply)

I have to admit
I agree with LVP! (I know nothing about cars, and have slightly more experience with pants)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Stig
See how well your car stops your jeans from chafing on your bits! :p

I do like cars, I just don't know anything about them.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:19, Reply)

argh
it's started pissing it down with rain *sads*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:20, Reply)

In one word, how La Senza will help a lady get a lift:
Flashing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:21, Reply)

I am sooo hungry.
Off now to purchase freshly made bread, perchance to toast and dine upon with marmalade, with a jar of olives for afters.

Slaters all :)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:24, Reply)

@LM
That kind of woman wouldn't get a lift off of me acting like that. No class.

I do admit, I bang on about cars too much for my own good. I'll try to talk about something else. I haven't a flipping clue what, though, but I'll give it a go.....
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:24, Reply)

bah
bloody network has been down all day up till now

lame

not only could I not avoid doing work with b3ta, but I couldn't do any work because I couldn't get to my files!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:24, Reply)

Ancrenne
Well this is true. I've always thought that about edible pants. Why combine 2 great things when they become one slightly odd thing? Sweets are good for eating, pants are good for wearing, lets not confuse the issue!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)

Hey ancrenne!
*waves*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Hi Ancrenne
thanks, it had me shaken and I've been playing the whole thing over in my mind repeatedly since it happened.

Everyone is of the same opinion, I acted as I should after an unfortunate accident and got some attitude off the guy.

I'm going to be going out of my way to surf places with far fewer people in future
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Hey Vipros :)
Woo energy lady is here. Finally
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:33, Reply)

Hey TGB
energy lady?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:35, Reply)

"Energy Lady"
I've got visions of some woman that goes door to door, collecting the dumbness-energy from people with some kind of vacuum helmet, then pumping it into the guests on the Jeremy Kyle Show.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:37, Reply)

yeah
you know that thing where all rented houses have t have an energy assessment? well she is here to do ours. 1/2 hour :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:38, Reply)

@ Lucy
But sometimes pants are good for removing with teeth!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)

BK
Oh yes deffo. But don't then eat the pants afterwards.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:41, Reply)

@ Lucy
That reminds me of an episode of Coupling where the welsh guy gets a girlfriend and he gets enthusiastic to his mate about her tiny lingerie. He says,
"I think I've swallowed 3 pairs".
Later in the episode she says to him,
"Do you know, I'm missing 3 pairs of my panties".
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Edible pants
Is an example of how two rights make a wrong, as has already been pointed out.

BK: My sentiments exactly!

Edit: I meant BK's statement about proper removal of pants...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Afternoon all
What have I missed?
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)

BK
Ha. Sounds about right. That's why girls should wear nice big pants, mr VP could choke on mine!

Just to clarify, nice big pants, like french knickers or boy shorts. Not big grey tent sized things
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Nice sig, V.
Take care - too much rubbing will just make it sore.




Noses are very sensitive things.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Hah
It's pretty sore already. Heading into town to get my hair cut in a bit, visit the doctor and get some soft tissues.
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

@ LM
Obviously, it depends on the time and place.

For instance, if you were caring for an elderly relative and decided to remove her pants with your teeth when she'd had an accident then you are very wrong and should be locked up and oh fuck I thought about it it came from my own head I'm ill ill ill ill ill mindbleach mindbleach nurse the screens!!!!!

*explodes, scanners style*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Hey Vipros,
I just read that story. What a wanker (him that is, not you)!

I'd be interested to know where you were surfing. Most people with an ounce of common sense who have surfed before are aware of the 'etiquette' of the wave. There's no way he should have been walking out in your path.

If you ask me, he deserved a board in the face for being rude.

Have you ever tried Croyde? The people there tend to be really very nice. Not full of 'scene' surfers who paddle out back, sit there for 2 hours, and paddle back in again (a practice I have seen too many times in holes like Newquay), just people who wanna surf!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Afternoon all
Well I'm not working today as I said above. However I have been to see two schools. The one I went to this afternoon might be able to give me regular work on a Thursday, hurrah!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:52, Reply)

I was at Saunton, the beach around the corner from Croyde.
usually regarded as a nice place to surf, and the best longboard wave in that area

Croyde gets way busier and it's the wrong sort of wave for my type of surfing.

I'll be surfing the middle of Woolacombe from now on I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:54, Reply)

I'd have punched the guy
in the face in the car park seeing how you didn't get any teeth out with the board.

Watch out he doesn't call injurylawyers4U :p It angers me lawyers are using "4U" it's saving four letters!! I don't think they are real lawyers.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:56, Reply)

I am naughty and have spent years on b3ta without donating
but now I have so I have a Duck. Quack Quack.

I secretly only donated so I can have a candle on my B3taday next week.
( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:56, Reply)

being sued was also something that I considered
seemed fairly unlikely. Unfortunately I've let my membership to the BSA lapse, so I don't have their third party insurance at the moment...

should probably sort that out.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 14:59, Reply)

OOOOHHHH
Heroes starts again today *happies*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Saunton?
Well, I didn't know they'd started letting gits in there. I'll have a word.

Maybe I'll see you around Woolacombe some time, then, not that I'm down there much these days...

EDIT: Does it, TGB? Balls, I missed the last episode of the last series... DAMN!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Well it does in America
Which means I am sure it will be.. obtainable.. tomorrow :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:09, Reply)

@TGB
Thanks for reminding me. *glees*

Shame I wont be able to watch them all in a marathon like I did with the last two seasons. Having to wait a week between episodes is going to hurt a lot =[
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Really TGB
On BBC 2?

I've not seen trailers.

*edit* Oh America, You had me excited then.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:22, Reply)

Yeah
But they are online within a few hours of being aired :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)

re Heroes
If you're willing to wait a week, they'll be shown on BBC2 by then as well :-D
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Hmmm...
I saw the first episode of season 2, and didn't bother watching the rest.
Is it worth me watching them?

It struck me as scraping the barrel a bit...
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:35, Reply)

Did you see any of season 1?
It's not really going to be any good at all if you've not see the first season.
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Yeah, I'm not an idiot!
*flicks "V"*

I saw all of it. Series two disappointed me. Well, episode one did.
Then I kinda gave up caring.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Heroes
I watched all of season 1, then about 5 episodes of season 2. I then lost interest a bit, much like I did with Lost.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:45, Reply)

If it's not South Park, The Daily Show or the BBC News
I haven't seen it. How boring of me.

However, I have recently, with the aid of a fellow b3tan, increased my number of nerd movies viewed.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:47, Reply)

I really likes series one.
I liked that cop fellow, I bet he had a lovely hairy chest. Phwoar!

Series two bored me. So I gave up.
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

Woohoo!
Just had a call to say that the electrician is going to be installing our new washing machine in half an hour!

Unfortunately we've been sans washing machine for a whole month, despite numerous calls to the letting agency. One guy did come to poke at the machine 2 weeks ago, then went off to 'order parts' without telling the agency. Seems replacement parts were too expensive, so we're getting a 'new' (well, new to us) mashine today.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

The guy that wrote it
Has said series 2 went a bit weird and that series 3 is going to be a lot more "what the fans want" which I guess is more drama and series 1-ness :p

Lab I have been promised a washing machine for over a year from my letting agency *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

*flinches*
Ouch! I found season 2 took a bit longer to really get going than season 1 did and because of the writers strike it was over pretty much as soon as it got really good *sighs*

Sylar is back though and Peter is more awesome than he was at the end of season 1.

Right, time to go get some hair removed. Laters.
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

must be a bit smelly in your house then
unless there's somewhere that you can take your clothes and wash them for a nominal fee.

But I've never heard of a place like that.
( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:50, Reply)

@Lusty
Hairy chest?! *chokes back the vomit*

I don't understand people finding hairy chests attractive.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:50, Reply)

*shudders*
I really don't like excessive hair on men. Well head hair is ok... but back, chest or underarm hair is bleugh.

I've had this conversation on here before though :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:52, Reply)

I once dated a belgian girl
and I swear she had hairy nipples, They were about 5cm long each (Hairs not nipples) and there were about 10 of them. (Hairs not nipples)
( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Too much hair
Is bad.
I'm glad I'm not cursed with the Werewolf Gene.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:53, Reply)

Hi Al!
I have to agree with you TGB, excessive body hair makes me boke.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:54, Reply)

Well fine then!
All the more hairy men for me!

Edit: As long as the man is nice to me I don't really mind how hairy they are. I do enjoy a good beard rub though. Where's that bearded lovely Vipros got to?
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)

You can keep 'em Lusty
Although they should be kept in a cage and regularly hosed with cold water.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:56, Reply)

Right, I'm off home now
Have to be in for the electrician.

Take care all, hope any boring work passes swiftly!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)

*hangs head*
I once dated a guy with a really hairy back and I resorted to shaving it when he was asleep

*cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)

I had been asking him to get it waxed...
And he said it would be weird for him "a man" to get waxed as it was "girly". But he was quite taken by the benefits of having a hair free back and as far as I know several years later he still gets it waxed.

It was really really bad Ancrenne! I am of course lovely, it was for his own good :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:02, Reply)

Oh Al!
Gis a go on your beard!

*rubs*
*feels a tingling in ladybits*
*goes off to find that well thumbed Mills & Boon book*
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:03, Reply)

Bald as a coot
or hairy like Cheetah and all that lurk between.

Bring 'em on.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:03, Reply)

I see your back shaving, TGB...
And raise you an ex-girlfriend who cut off my hair (which was tied back) while I was asleep.

You've a way to go til you reach that level of badness.

EDIT: *offers beard around*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:05, Reply)

See I would never
do head or facial hair because that is evil.

I have checked the "Book of Acceptable Hair to Remove Whilst Sleeping" and back hair is on page 1!

*strokes DiTs beard*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)

Firmly perched on the fence
As I'm part skinhead and part lycanthrope, but back hair is untidy.

For some reason the OH doesn't mind it, yet she insists on plucking random eyebrows. Odd.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)

I had an ex
Who insisted in me getting my hair cut.
That was rubbish.
I liked having long hair.
But now when I see photos, I look like such a twat.

That's not the point though.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:09, Reply)

was someone looking for me?
re: back hair

I have a bit of a hairy back. I hate it, but my gf doesn't mind.

at various points I've had her shave, wax and even *gulp* epilate it

nothing really worked all that well and some of it hurt like a bitch. getting stoned is the way forth for going through those things.

I've now decided that I don't care
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:09, Reply)

See I was like
a ninja shaver he never even woke up and I had to roll him a bit to get all of it!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:10, Reply)

The hairy gene has skipped me
Both my Dad and my younger brother have hairy shoulders!

I didn't have any hair on my chest until I was 25. *feels less manly*

*edit*
*look further up thread*

clendrix, do you need a cold shower?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

BK
I think I do!
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:15, Reply)

Sorry did someone miss my post
I said "A GIRL WITH HAIRY FUCKING NIPPLES!"

Okie maybe it wasn't worth discussing :P
( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:16, Reply)

Well that's fair enough
But I had had enough of his half rolling backwards and me waking up to a face full of sweaty back hair.

- OH MY GOD HAIRY NIPPLES!?!?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:16, Reply)

^In fairness
I'd skated over that one, PJ. ;)

You should consider yourself lucky... Some people in their short but colourful lives never get to see a single, solitary nipple, let alone a hairy one! :)

But it is a bit weird, isn't it?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:18, Reply)

@ancrenne
Nah, I'll just merrily rotate out here.

*rotates*
*grins*

*flexes for clendrix*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

*puts hand up*
Excuthe me, thir, but I think I mithed the lethon on Rotating, thir.

What'th Rotating pleathe, thir? I don't underthtand!

/end of adorable lithp.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)

i too have seen hairy lady nipples
was a bit freaky at first but after a while it just became what her nipples were like , (she didn't like to talk about it though.)
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:22, Reply)

hmmm
Mr G-Lo has a hairy chest. I'm not bonkers about it, but its part of him so I accept it. I certainly won't be whipping out the immac while he sleeps. However, in fear of rejection from him, I spend an incredible amount of time shaving, waxing, plucking, you name it, and I'm not even especially hirsute to start with! I can accept its probably nicer, but by god, I'VE GOT OTHER THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME BESIDES REMOVE HAIR!

*walks off cursing pron for putting ideas in men's heads*
(G-Lo, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:22, Reply)

*squeals*
Hello Ancrenne - I think BK was referring to an earlier post of mine, so let him play out here while we all watch.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:22, Reply)

@ DiT
I've been working on getting my knob to rotate.

Working a treat!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:25, Reply)

I knew a girl
with a hairy chest too. Not bushy, like a bloke, but stray, long hairs. Most odd.

Me, I'm like a blonde werewolf! Which is unusual.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:32, Reply)

on the subject of pron
purely in the name of research, I filched on of my flatmates top-shelf mags the other day. Does anyone find it wierd how astoundingly chirpy the ladies look? I thought they'd be all sultry, but its was like 'here's my bits - wooo!!. Odd, I thought.

Anyways....
(G-Lo, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:33, Reply)

Ancrenne
It's BK's fault - all that flexing and rotating.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)

Woooo!
*realises everyone's vomiting*

Er, sorry. I got carried away!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:38, Reply)

I don't like it.
*rocks slowly*
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:39, Reply)

Ancrenne
Yep, I'm that bloody easy.

*pretends to be ashamed*

Kaol? OK?
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:39, Reply)

@G-Lo
Hullo, I don't think we've met!

*bows deeply*

In answer to your question, I suspect it's the massive amount of drugs.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:41, Reply)

I'm off home
See you later.

*sheds back hairs*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)

Hehe!
Just as well I stopped before I got near the inevitable conclusion.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

Hurrah!
Happy to spread the joy - and the tea!

*concerned about Kaol*
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:46, Reply)

He's stopped now, it's ok.
Tonight I'm going to be singer/songwriting.
How exciting.
Also, I'm not driving, so alcohol will happen, yay!
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:47, Reply)

*sings*
Ding dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is deaaaaaaaaad.

She's not really dead...The boss has just left which mean I can now turn off the radio! Fucking yay! No more Magic FM!!!!!
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:53, Reply)

I hate the radio.
I could make you a small "device" that you could plug into the battery compartment.
It would "break" the radio.
Break it hard.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:55, Reply)

I've just won
a big prize from entering a radio competition, so radio is now my friend.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:58, Reply)

DiT and Ancrenne
Hello to you too! My performance as a B3tard has been a bit hit and miss, due to no internet for a horrifying two months, but now I'm back woo!
(G-Lo, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Oh...
I was talking about a blasting cap.
But yeah, same kinda thing Al, both make women scream.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)

@kaol
I would appreciate that muchly!

@al I really don't know what to say to that. You worry me sometimes. You do make me laugh lots and lots and spray tea everywhere though.
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:04, Reply)

Breaking News!
DONG!

Al makes DiT laugh like a nutter!

DONG!

DiT realises that 'DONG!' sounds a bit rude!

DONG!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:04, Reply)

Helloooooooooo
*shimmies into thread*

'lo, all. I've got a wee bit of time to sit down at last ....

All well?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:08, Reply)

DiT
always dings my dong.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:08, Reply)

*ponders*
Could you kind of boost the power on one of those iPod FM transmitters on the same frequency as Magic FM so that you get to listen what YOU want to listen to?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:09, Reply)

Wubberduck
Probably enough power there just to sit it next to the radio.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:11, Reply)

I think if you were doing that (over-broadcasting)
Then you'd have to get someone to make a fake show for you.

That'd be amazing.
But who do we know with radio experience?
And a sexy voice?

Oh wait...
*nods*
That's right.


"You're listening to Kaol on Magic-FUCKING-f.m.

Next up, we've got a bit of Napalm Death, and then the news."
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:12, Reply)

.
I touched Mr G-Lo in a rude place the other day, and he exclaimed

'Corr Blimey!'

Corr Blimey?! CORR BLIMEY??!?!?!?!?

I am waiting for a 'by George!' or a 'Gordon Bennett!. Stay tuned for the next old-fashioned-exclamation-in-an-inappropriate-setting installment
(G-Lo, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:12, Reply)

you could put fake breaking news on there
stuff about aliens or nukes

it'd be awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:14, Reply)

@al
thanks for that "coffee meets keyboard" moment there. No, really, thanks

*dances back at al in a burlesque fashion (but without the tassles)*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:17, Reply)

Ohhhh
I'd love to have b3ta radio.
I don't understand why I'm not allowed to listen to what I want for a little bit.

Still, I guess she's old so will be dead soon enough.
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:17, Reply)

Aaaargh is that the time?
I thought I had longer, but I'll have to love you and leave you (parents night thingy at kid's school).

Bye all

*mwah*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:19, Reply)

Yeah...
"The famed Suffolk Strangler, Steve Wright, has been released on bail, and is starring in a new reality TV show: Suffolk Survivor, which pits teams of Z-list celebs against one another as prostitutes, with the loser each week being strangled by Mr. Wright."

I'm going home, bye!
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:21, Reply)

@al
I could do, but I'd feel a little bit mean once I'd stopped laughing.
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:21, Reply)

Oh no!
I've got to go to the pub.

*drags feet*

Nighty-night!
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:25, Reply)

G-Lo
You only really need to worry if he says:

"My, that's spiffing!"
"You know, you're doing jolly well!"
"Yes, dear, you really are inflaming my sexual ardour!"
"Woman, I have achieved tumescence. To the Bedroom!"

Then you need to worry.

I have never said any of this in a bedroom situation. Honest guv.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:28, Reply)

So I went to pick up Mr Bin
from work and crashed the fucking car.

I've only had the cunting thing since April and it's been in for repair twice now!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:41, Reply)

oh no Mrs L!
You and Mr L alright?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:45, Reply)

Mrs L
I've got some P40 and P38 body filler if you need it :)

Seriously though, are you OK?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:46, Reply)

We are both fine thanks
I can't have been going much more than 15 mph.

I was coming round a corner on a road with cars parked either side. I went to go round a parked car and a woman coming the other way went to do the same thing.

Smack head on into an MX5.

COCKENDS
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:51, Reply)

MX5
drivers are idiots for the most part.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:57, Reply)

New barmaid
Im doing the whole post from the pub thing like yesterday but I'm all scardey. There's a new barmaid, I'm actually having to order instead of just saying hello and my drink arriving. I even taught her how to make a Long Island Iced Tea just now!

Still, I think that's the first time in a long time (maybe ever) that I've told a cute blond 19 year old what I'd like them to do for me without getting slapped *wink*

Bill
(bill, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 17:59, Reply)

oooh the infamous Bill
*takes pictures*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:00, Reply)

It wasn't anyones
fault.

I'm just pissed off and a bit shaken.
Seems that I'll only have to pay half the excess as we have both admitted joint liability.

That's the end of my no claims though and I'll be without a car until it's fixed.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:00, Reply)

That sucks Mrs L
*hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:04, Reply)

That's rubbish, Mrs. L
:(

*hugs*
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:07, Reply)

It sucks gigantic cocks
but at least no people or kittens were injured.

Hell. It wasn't even enough to set the airbags off!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:09, Reply)

Yeah, at least you're ok
*smiles*

Anyway, I've gotta run, guitar time!
Bye!
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:12, Reply)

I is here :)
We beating up lodgers? YAY!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:21, Reply)

Ah! A camera, hides.
Thats not me in the pictures, honest. I'd never get caught photographed in such a compromising position. And that's not my cow and I have no idea how it got painted yellow.

*wink*
(bill, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:22, Reply)

Ok I am
moving to the evening thread if anyone would care to join me? :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:24, Reply)

@ Mrs L
That's shit.

*hug*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:25, Reply)