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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Using the relative anonymity of the interwebs, what would you like to say to someone that you can't bring yourself to say IRL?
Let it all out...
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:03, 156 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

She is my boss and she is a lunatic. I dont wish death upon her, but something that made her unable to return to work would be good.
YOU FUCKING LISTENING THIS TIME GOD?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Oh in the hospital? Nothing too trivial, I hope.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I love you because you are my mum but I really do not like you in the slightest you manipulative, self-centred shitehawk.
And the kids take the piss out of you.
There - that feels better.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Dear mum,
You're my third favourite lady ever.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:22, Reply)

but that because of the sort of videos I've seen of her in.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

...sequels such as Terminator 2 and Godfather 2 or more along the lines of German dirty-plop films?
I only ask as she has appeared in both.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:39, Reply)

You are quite frankly an utter cunt. You don't treat anybody with respect, and if you have a point to make - you don't ever make it in a nice way. You are a bully and a thug and I'm glad to see the back of you. Go on. Fuck off.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I love you today, more than I loved you the first time I said it (at Il Colosseo, over pasta and white wine) and I regret every taint that was caused to our relationship by my desire to bend over backwards to please which in turn was a direct consequence of my now-under treatment mental health condition.
For the ocean of tears that I have cried in these last two years, the pain has been alleviated by the memory of your smile and your turning to me on Sri Lankan on the way to the Maldives to say that you'd always dreamt of being there.
Every time I have been kicked by your coterie when I've been down, for every defamatory statement, for every libel and for every single lie and deception that you have been party to including the BAFTA-winning portrayal of the victim - I have let all of these pass over me as the actions of you in clearing your mind and your heart; your place in mine remains, my memory of you in the orchid nursery, or sitting on the verandah watching the sharks below.
If you were to ask what I want back - it's really, really simple: it's the opportunity to say the things that I didn't say, the return to the way we were before, but better.
You never knew this, but I used to wake in the night occasionally to turn the radio off and I'd see you there sleeping next to me in the pale light shining through our bedroom window and my heart would be so full of love for you and for what we were building (despites its flaws) that it took all my self-control to not wake you and tell you this. You may have dreamt some nights of having your left shoulder caressed and kissed? That's because I was there - doing just that.
Even when I didn't wake in the night, knowing you were there provided me with the bravery and the courage to continue. Believing that even my oblique references were sufficient also comforted me - albeit a false sense of security.
We had a very special love, and a love that feels as real today as it did then. Every day I would wake next to you or wake with you in my mind, I fell in love again like the first time. The refreshing of that position felt like taking a warm shower in you.
Today is day 732 and my count of the days will continue for as long as it takes for your return and my only comfort until that time is knowing that one day I won't have to worry about my habit of breathing in and out any more.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:15, Reply)

I'd have a good rant but it's about someone on here and then they'll read it and then ask loads of questions and that seems like way too much effort.
Instead I'll bitch about all the people that post shit about their fucking cats. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR CAT.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:25, Reply)

I have nothing to say to you at all. Not after that night *cries*
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:28, Reply)

washing machine and then dry them off in the microwave
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:31, Reply)

used to like sleeping in the microwave whenever we left the door open.
true story.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

So instead I poured bleach into my eyes which was a much more enjoyable experiance than watching anything to do with cats.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:52, Reply)

I only like cats if they act like dogs.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:59, Reply)

dog like enough?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:03, Reply)

...I imagined cuntyballs Hugh Grant making that speech in some dreadful Richard Curtis film.
Or Tom 'Not Gay' Cruise.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:24, Reply)

insert the word "gosh" and put on a floppy haired wig if it helps?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:25, Reply)

...and then leave her to get a blow job from a crack-whore.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:40, Reply)

..like that sort of thing. (Not being a reckless cunt that is.)
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:04, Reply)

...they do stop complaining after you shut the lid.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, Reply)

That is all.
My my that's cathartic :)
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I have the ability to be irritated by several things at once.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:30, Reply)

you can be jealous of me going to Glastonbury too if you want
www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/news/2009-line-up-revealed
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:32, Reply)

been before many times and wouldn't bother going again. Not for that line up anyway
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

and they played the may ball when I was at uni. I really don't think I'm missing out.
Firm handshakes
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Can you make the bash on the 30th?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

with /talk people and everything. Not so hard now are you?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:43, Reply)

and I'll drive through the walls in a certain japanese car.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:45, Reply)

not only are you incredibly dull, but you have the most annoying voice I've ever heard.
no one gives a shit about what your son is doing, and you look like a complete penis in your white denim jacket and with your stupid fucking haircut.
god, I'd love to say that to him....
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:24, Reply)

FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!
ARRRGGHHHHHHHHH!
*shakes head*
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:26, Reply)

From the same occasion or were the 'couple of guys' separate incidents?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Enough al-fucking-ready! Do we really need ninety minutes a day of text vote television that helps make some arrogant twat rich and pay for yet more substandard television?
That not enough for you?
We've got hours and hours of Big Brother, followed by Celebrity Dancing on Ice in the Jungle and some sort of Ice related endless reality TV on BBC - the last bastian of intelligent programming left after National Geographic.
The world would be a much better place if the brains of everyone involved in the deluge of shit that is reality television spontaneously imploded.
You cunts.
That is all.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:30, Reply)

said it should be called Britain's Got Freaks
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

or heaven forbid, switched it off and did something else?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

It's a televisual democracy in our house, so I'm consigned to post ranty messages on teh interweb instead.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

by "tried" I assume whoever it was failed and is semi or hopefully completely okay now? Or at least in therapy?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:39, Reply)

They're fine (ish) now. It's just, you know, you can't realy tell someone with that kind of thing going on that you're fucking angry at em! Might not be amazingly tactful. Hrm. Trying to think up a more comedic reply.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Surely you are man enough to say that to them directly? Or is it a language issue?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

on the chance that one of them gets through.
I just discovered slug trails all over my bag...
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:38, Reply)

after even 5 minutes of it being open is enough to thwart their advances?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:40, Reply)

where pipes come and go from the kitchen, or used to at least, and I haven't got round to filling them yet.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Like a windowledge, and tape a length of copper wire so they'd have to cross it to come in, they won't cross it. Not sure why. Also, beer traps.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Get tin cans and put a bit of beer in the bottom and place around outskirts of house.
Slug smells beer, climbs up edge, falls in, drowns in a drunken stupor.
Win.
(High volume ale works best.)
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:54, Reply)

It would make my heartache be a little less ;0(
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Please, for fucks sake, stop eating in the office with your mouth open and while on the phone to customers. Not only is it incredibly rude to them, but every time I hear your rubbery lips smack shut then open and see semi-masticated out of the corner of my eye, I want to vomit.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:34, Reply)

We've got a knobjockey at work who clears his throat all day. In the best passive-aggressive manner I left a couple of packs of throat lozenges on his desk once but he still does it. Now I want them back as they were expensive ones and one day I might have a sore throat.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:36, Reply)

You bitch and moan about the pressures and stress of work, yet you spend half the day gassing to each other, watching YouTube vids and playing games.
A few months back you were all bitching about how management kept piling on the work, but when I brought the issue out in a meeting you all sat and stared at your shoes. I am now removing your right to moan about work, you spineless workshy fuckholes.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:37, Reply)

But no, it's not about b3tans.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Make statements like that and then pussy the fuck out. You.are.a.cunt.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:42, Reply)

For fucks sake, if you climb in through the bedroom window at 3am and meow incessantly until I let you out of the bedroom so that you can go downstairs, crawl out of the toilet window and repeat all fucking night I am going to throttle you and make you into a pair of fur lined gloves.
You vicious furry feline bastard.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Give the kitty some love
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:44, Reply)

I've been deprived of sleep last night and I am *very* cranky.
I've already sworn at someone this morning.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Pfft. If you cant start the day by calling someone a cunt then whats the point of getting out of bed?
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:53, Reply)

It's because you're a self-obsessed, manipulative, selfish mess with zero sense of personal responsibility and a bottomless victim mentality. You'll always be bitter while you blame all your ills on other people and refuse to reflect on your own behaviour. You can tell all the lies about me you want to our mutual friends, I trust them enough to see you for what you are. I'm glad I got out when I did.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:45, Reply)

I've been ashamed of it ever since Mr Whittleford pointed it out in the showers after cross-country and all the other boys laughed at me.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Man the fuck up, and tell people what you think instead of pussyfooting around them and letting them continue annoying you.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Stop waiting for Mr Right and go and have some fun with Mr Available.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:50, Reply)

In short, don't dress like a wag.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:01, Reply)

Even when I was in slut mode in my younger days, I never did this. Just sitting on some guys knee usually did it.
*ponders*
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Behind the creation of human beings. Yesterday I got a realy painfull cramp in the arch of my foot, and it nearly caused me to spill my tea. I feel this is something of a design flaw.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 10:58, Reply)

that my friend cancelled lunch as I specifically didn't bring anything to work as I thought I was going out.
And I'm pissed that someone I thought knew me well didn't catch on that I was massively pissed at them last night. Or they know me so well they were scared to ask why... either way you suck. And not in the good way. Now I'm sober though I am only slightly annoyed.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:08, Reply)

people won't point and laugh at you for eating alone in a restaurant you know.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 12:04, Reply)

This message is to ALL OF YOU
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:10, Reply)

people get to say what they really think and not a cake or cup of tea in sight :)
My work here is done.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:18, Reply)

after all the ranting I think I need a hug. *looks sadly at Becky*
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Every ying post needs a yang post for karmic B3ta harmony.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Did you try paying the rent and not smashing the place up?
Did you try not drinking such stupid amounts of alcohol that you lost your (very cushy) job and had numerous miscarriages (not that you should be allowed to breed!)?
Do you sometimes wish that you hadn't cheated on me with the welsh bloke, losing the house that we had, losing all the furniture (that was me and my dad - he paid for it!), losing all respect and dignity?
Did you enjoy your damp ridden flat with the welsh bloke while getting used as punchbag for the next year? (harsh that was!)
Do you look back and wonder how you managed to fuck your life up so much over the last 4/5 years?
Do you wonder why not many people like you? Could it be because you expect everyone to help yet have no inclination to help yourself?
I have so many questions I'd like to ask you.
Finally, I'd love to help you out sweetie but I'm busy picking my bum.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:37, Reply)

How dare you!
You've spent years on your high horse, laughing at my crap job. You've never had a job. True, I don't particularly enjoy mine, but I still do it.
You say you can't get a job because of college. I worked through 6th form, and did more hours than you! You can say if you can't work certain days! Stop being so fucking lazy, and get a job!
I know you're in love with her, but acting like a cock simply to get on her side won't earn you friends, it'll lose them.
I know you're now the bottom of the food chain, no job, no money, no house, but you think this means you can lash out? Our bipolar friend was able to hold down a job, even on his bad days.
ARGH!
There's still so much I could say, but I'll leave it here.
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Actually, I lied. It is you. I find you boring, annoying and you smell.
Please fucky offy.
and you arse looks big all the time, no matter what you wear!
( , Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, Reply)
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