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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Croissants, etc.
I spent the best part of yesterday doing my sister's hair for her prom, she has MASSES and it all needed curling. Took me about two and a half hours to do the lot. I'm having a smug now though because she told me that everyone loved it and was very surprised that she hadn't had it done professionally, she kept getting asked if I was a hairdresser. I tend to spend about ten minutes on my hair and makeup as well and will happily go out looking like a tramp.
AND I had a date last night, and I'm going on holiday tomorrow, to my favourite place on Earth. I think I might have to buy an entire bakery.

What's given you a croissant craving recently? And don't lie, I know you've had them, you smug bastards.
OR, if you could be any mythical creature or ancient god, who would you be and why?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:35, 342 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Hello
Who was the date with? Did it go well?

Where you off on holiday? I'm going to a little festival on Friday, I'm quite excited. Drinking for three days ftw.

I haven't had croissants but Wiggy got some belgian waffles for his birthday so I've been eating them. There's still a Croissant of Smugness on my blackboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:37, Reply)
The date was with a lad I met at Download
It was just a quick trip to the cinema as it was last minute since he wanted to see me before I went away. He's only just turned 18, which makes me feel a little dodgy, but he's adorable and so sweet. He's like a puppy. I am probably going to destroy him.

I'm going to Sark in the channel islands camping with my sister. It's beautiful, phenomenal beaches, lovely little woods, no cars and ultimate relaxation.

Oo, what festival is that? And Croissant of Smugness ftw!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
It's called Beatherder, it's on the other side of Clitheroe.
It was only £75 as opposed to the massive £200 odd for Leeds/Download.

I don't really get on well enough with my sister to go camping, much less be excited about. She doesn't do camping, she's all "oh ew" about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
You said clit

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:59, Reply)
And 'beard' if you remove a few letters

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:01, Reply)
"Clit" and "Hero"
It conjures up mental images of a kitchen cleaner
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:04, Reply)
mindwee

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)

probably not this one
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Ahh yes might Clitheroe
also known as Clit Hero.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:04, Reply)
+pubic

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:37, Reply)
Imelda may winked at me.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:38, Reply)

+ while I tried to rape her
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:41, Reply)
that was probably just the rohypnol beginning to take effect

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:41, Reply)
Anal winking doesn't count when you're balls deep

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:42, Reply)
LIES
She's far too awesome to notice you.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:48, Reply)
third row from the front.
Thanks for the reccomendation, she was amazing.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)
ahhh the well known
'la la la I don't hear you' way of dealing with insults.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)
applebite's got at least a week of goodwill for the recommendations.
I think she told me about Sophie Hunger too.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Nope, but there were a couple of other things I recommended.
Can't remember what though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:59, Reply)
I could list all the bands I saw
(I marked them on the program like the mega geek I am)
but that would be dull for everyone, look out for Sophie hunger though, you'll like her/them.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)
never usually stops you

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)
peace and love kitty.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Gaz me them
And I will judge you accordingly.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)
JEALOUSY
She's coming to the Academy in October, I am so getting in on that.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)
Yeah, I saw her tour advertised in one of the newspapers
I might go to the cambridge or oxford (i can't remember) gig.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:54, Reply)
Wherever posh students abound,
there Chompy shall descend
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Details on the date please

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:39, Reply)
See my reply to Kitty above

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
I managed the big b3ta hike on Saturday without dying
Also Clenders and Lusty said I looked good!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:40, Reply)
LEAVE MY BFF ALONE YOU CUNT!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:41, Reply)
I never touched her cunt!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:42, Reply)
I'm touching her cunt as I type this

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:43, Reply)
Sticky keys?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:44, Reply)
Wwwwwwwwwwww

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:45, Reply)
You and Noel were running up front on the hike!
Tourettes was bringing up the rear. Fnarr!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:43, Reply)
And later bringing out her rear

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:45, Reply)
Yep
it was a No3l / Labia yomp!

Great walk though, even though there were a couple of moments when I wished I had the bike with me.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)
I've been headhunted twice in a week
I would be Thor and I would fuck some shit up with my massive Hammer.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:41, Reply)
I start a new job on Monday
and absolutely cannot be arsed to provide even the most basic level of customer service between now and then. This, combined with the massively improved wage I will soon be earning, makes me slightly croissant-y
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:42, Reply)
My bash seemed to go down a treat.
Will probably have another next year and remember to buy ice and brown sauce this time.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:44, Reply)
That's one fucked up smoothie

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:44, Reply)
Just like you : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:47, Reply)
I am choosing to take that as a compliment

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:49, Reply)
I have a smiley face so you should.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)
You so want me
/may contains lies or massive exaggeration
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)
: )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
YES!
But next year I'm staying off the sangria.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:44, Reply)
And I'm not getting ill.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:45, Reply)
woot!
I'm already looking forward to the sangria :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:47, Reply)
I'm looking forward
to hearing more stories about badgerrage on the roads.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)
I'm going to buy several bottles
of non-alcoholic wine
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:26, Reply)
Hahahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)
Athena
as she knows everything and came out of her dad's ear.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:45, Reply)
I'd be Athena too
but only because she's a dirty great big lesbian and Aphrodite's well fit.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:46, Reply)
Better to come out of your dad's ear then come in your dad's ear.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:46, Reply)
I thought she burst out of his fod?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:47, Reply)
Fod?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:49, Reply)
Forrid.
Forehead.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)
I bet that stinged a bit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)
Are you in my head?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
No I'm in your heart.
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)
That would leave a nasty scar

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)
My dad has a nasty scar on his fod in the shape of an upside down 'Y'
This had lead me to believe that I was Athena/Minerva.
If I now find out she came out of his ear I'll be so sad.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:54, Reply)
According to my book of greek mythology
It was his fod.
He turned her mother into a fly and swallowed her, so Hera wouldn't find out he'd been shagging another bird. A while later, he had a headache, so he got the smith god, hephaestus to crack open his skull to see what the problem was, and out popped out the fully grown, fully armoured Athena.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)
And I thought Japanese porn was weird

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)

weird delicious
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)
strikethrough fail
damn, you're quick.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)
This is a fairly average story for Greek mythology.
There are a hell of a lot weirder.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)
I have no idea where I got the ear thing from
somewhere at some point I've been told ear....

Catholic school. I blame the nuns.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
His what?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)
I understand
the earthy humour in Ian Dury's lyrics.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:45, Reply)
nothing
*cries*
I really wanted to talk to very cute swimming guy yesterday but I didn't so then I just told myself I was a loser all night
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:46, Reply)
LOSER!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:47, Reply)
That was going to be my repsonse
but I felt it was a little harsh.

Glad you said it though.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
I'm only trying to encourage her
To go talk to that guy.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
go back and talk to him!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)
^This
OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE ME.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
what, really awesome?
(I want to aggravate the Pandatron)
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Badger is awesome already.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)
where's the Pandatron already?!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:59, Reply)
The Pandatron didn't consider this worthy of his presence
Try harder.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:04, Reply)
you're looking very hot today Labs
and several of your posts have reduced me to helpless giggling because they are so witty and well-composed.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:07, Reply)
The Pandatron isn't impressed with your false pandering
But there is another who is hungry for even a morsel of pandering, no matter how false...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)
that's horrible!
I am upset.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)
You shouldn't have lied then

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)
my lies make Pandatron cry eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)
Your lies brought Rwandatron into existence

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Helllooooooo!
*waves*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:13, Reply)
I know you can't watch videos at work, but I was going to post a clip
from Family Guy where Chris wins a homosexual at the fair and asks him what he eats and the gay guy says "compliments!"

This is what you remind me of right now.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)
Fair play
I am a pathetically needy and inexplicably camp individual in need of constant validation. That's what makes me so FASCINATING. And not a little bit scary. Name the film.

Clue: The first sentence is not from a film that I'm aware of, possibly Twilight if we're honest
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)
I googled it.
Sliding Doors, you massive loser.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)
You GOOGLED it
and yet you have the temerity to call me a massive loser...

Google "temerity" as well before you reply :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Never forget that men are EASY!
Just smile, show him your knickers and you're away!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
Ya might wanna change them first though, eh?
And have a wash.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)
And not mention your huge vagina

(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:54, Reply)
That's no way to talk about him

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Nah
some men like it dirty
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
Probably an idea not to bank on this guy liking a manky clunge

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Manky clunge is an awesome turn of phrase
Fucking hell, how is it only 1pm? I'm here til fucking 8! Ooh, cricket
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)
Sounds like a small village near Wolverhampton doesn't it?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Sounds like a small village which is superior in every way to Wolverhampton
as would Sarlaccsville, Shitestown and Oasisland
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Ah! I've been missing the showing my knickers part of that equation.
It all makes sense now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
Works for me
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)

showing my
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
I resent that
it generally takes a bit of bra as well
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
Yeah!
Flash some tit, put a little sway in your walk and a quick peek at the grundies, and they're yours!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
not whole tit though
just a bit of side boob at first
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Or underboob
That's a winner.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)
Side boob with the front part covered with one hand
the forearm of which obscures the other boobs, while turning backwards and smiling coquettishly and winking before turning away and removing said arm so that he knows both boobs are now uncovered but aren't yet visible.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:58, Reply)
how can you do this in public at any point?!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)
*adjusts trousers*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)
All very very helpful
Although when I saw "all" I mean everything apart from the mean things Lab and Al said :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)
I let all the people in the supermarket live.
I'll have an almond one please.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:46, Reply)
You're far too easy going.
That's your trouble.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:48, Reply)
It's lucky I wasn't pushing the trolley or A&E would have been full of bad ankle breaks.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)
When are you having your baby?
It must be soon!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)
Next week.
I told the midwife I was terrified. She said "oh, a c-section is quite safe" and I then had to tell her I'm not terrified of the c-section, I'm terrified of having an actual baby to look after. What if I break it?
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
Keep the receipt

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)
If I get a ginger one can I exchange it?

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
By the time I have kids
there'll be a test for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)
By the time you have kids
You'll be able to pick the colour of its tail.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:59, Reply)
oh my god that would be amazing
I want it to have wings as well like a little baby dragon.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)
You want to give birth to a dragon?
That's weird and awesome in equal parts.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)
yes, why?
what's wrong with that?

Maybe I can lay some kind of dragon egg rather than live birth.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
This would be all kinds of awesome.
A dragon would be way cooler than a kid. You'd just have to fireproof everything in the house.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:11, Reply)
I would actually love to have a pet dragon

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Like Eragon
book, not movie.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)
is the last book out yet?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)
Yeah it was out last year methinks
god, get with it Vipros!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)
jeez, sorry!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)
you read Eragon?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)
I read most things fantasy and sci fi
even if they are for kids
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)
I'm not quizzing you on the kid front
Diana Wynne Jones and Robin Jarvis are amazing and both of them write for children in the main.

... but Eragon?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:53, Reply)
I think I picked the first one up in an airport when I had nothing else to read
and as bad as it is I still want to know what happens in the story.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)
This is why
I stick to authors I know when buying in airports
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:01, Reply)
I don't like most authors they sell in airports
there's only so much john grisham you can read. and I've read everything by michael crichton
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)
Within 28 days
Yes
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:58, Reply)
just absorb it back in
like a rabbit.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)
She's fit to pop
I'm sure her rampant rabbit is lying dormant in her sock drawer.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:01, Reply)
knicker drawer

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
'pologies

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)
I am very brave
Chorizo and melted mature cheddar on mine please
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Why are you brave?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
She lives in Liverpool.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:01, Reply)
That too

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)
I had bad belly pains for five days
and only cried once.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)
you deserve a lollypop.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)
I do
Or a Calippo
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)
fuck yeah, I want a calippo now.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Awww, that is brave.
Are you better now though?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Yup
All better :)
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Good good :)

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)
Are you gonna tell us about this bleedin date or what like?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:49, Reply)
God, just because you're not getting any now you're part of a couple (with a massive woofter)
you don't have to be so desperate.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)
I too want to know about the date
telling half a story is most infuriating.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
Sorry, I went for my lunch.
It wasn't a croissant. I've told the rest now, it's up there.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:57, Reply)
what film did you go see?
Was it a lame romcom?

I saw Prince of Persia on Monday, it was fit.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:01, Reply)
Pfft, romcoms can get to fuck.
It was Prince of Persia. I drooled over Jake Gyllenhall the entire way through.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Wasn't the princess annoying?!
I really enjoyed it though, it's very true to the game. Jake is all kinds of fit, although I did laugh out loud at his first spoken words because his accent was dreadful.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:10, Reply)
I like the princess from the Sky adverts
"Stop putting vegetables in my bed. It's perverse."
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Yes! I love this too!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)
also, she is quite hot

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)
Yeah! She was the only bit I didn't like.
Loved the ostrich racing. Never played the game, so I can't comment on that. And I was too busy enjoying the view to care about what he was saying.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:13, Reply)
the games are fucking superb
very hard to finish though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:20, Reply)
Aaaaah
You have to put away your sword and walk through your mirror image.
*is old*
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)
I downloaded POP from brothersoft.com the other day
it's still a fucking awesome game.

As is Robocod.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)
I was thinking more of the more recent games
like POP: Sands of Time

but the old ones are quality. and you are right, so is Robocod
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:25, Reply)
djtp was referring to the completion of the original game
and I was replying to him.

Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggh
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:29, Reply)
will check that link out later
I like a good retro game session every now and then. Soleil, Street Fighter II, Populous, Speedball II, Vectorman, WWF Wrestlefest, Sonic etc.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Brothersoft are awesome
I downloaded a bunch of other games too, New Zealand Story, Golden Axe, Speedball 2...

They're a hell of a lot fucking harder than I remember though
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)
All old games were harder than modern ones
Ghouls and Ghosts is fucking nightmarishly hard.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:36, Reply)
I don't think I ever completed the first level of Ghouls and Ghosts
or Shadow Beast for that matter.

Stupid fucking games.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:38, Reply)
ever play Turrican 2?
that was hard as fuck

great game though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)
Again, never got beyond the first level
stop reminding me how shit I was in my childhood
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:53, Reply)
I remember that vividly
And the frustration at working it out after dying many times over.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)
Wasn't there some bonus thing on it
if you completed it in under an hour?

I think it took me about 3-4 hours :C
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)
You know that cockney guy was Doc Oc from Spiderman?
I was IMDBing it and had no idea until I spotted him. He's awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)
He was also in Chocolat
EDIT: And he's the guy who gets killed at the start of the first Indiana Jones film
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:31, Reply)
*hands over crown*

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Crown of?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Back when I first invented Off Topic
I secretly proclaimed myself the best looking man here, but now that I've seen a proper photo of your young self, I've had to pass the torch on

EDIT but saying you're the best looking bloke here isn't really saying much
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)
It's all good
I'd like to thank God, you know, he's always been there for m...hey, wait! Where are you going?

Who turned off the lights?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)
I like to think of myself as God of Off Topic
Judging you all from my Mount Olympus, smiting when I see fit.

Yeah, that's who I am, Zeus
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:49, Reply)
In that case, I declare myself an Offtopic Atheist.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)
Teeheehee
*smites*

To the bowels of Cerberus with you!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)
You can't smite me,
I'm fucking Artemis, bitch and I'll blind you for accidentally looking at my tits.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)
Sounds like a female version of the Juggernaut
Bitch
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)
That's only one of my senses
I'd use the other five to cop a feel, have a sniff, taste 'em, and erm.. the other two
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)
Listen to them?
Then I'd turn you into a stag and hunt you down with my pack of dogs. And then mount your head on my wall.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)
Phwoar
you really know how to get me going
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)
What can I say
I'm a master.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:10, Reply)
And I'm Agnostic

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)
Oh, Halibut,
That doesn't happen until you're married.
I'd take the day off and go and bum Mrs Al from now until the wedding if I were you.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)
He can manage that in his lunch break
Including travel time and a baguette.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:54, Reply)
That's what the honeymoon is for
Three whole weeks of nothing but bumming and sunbathing.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)
He cut you out of his picture
That means he's not a woofter any more
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
Is he still crying about that?
Honestly, you'd think he'd never been rejected by a gay lover before.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:11, Reply)
But each time he tells himself
"The next one will be different. The next one will stay" through his mascara-streaked tears as he listens to Shirley singing 'I Who Have Nothing' for the tenth time
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)
Fucking Prom?
I didn't think you lived in America.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)
Everyone does them now. They're shit.
I hated my highschool one. My college leavers do was alright cos I pulled the guitarist from the band and my mates crashed it and we all got wasted.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:58, Reply)
Good Lord whatever has the world come to?
We'll be 'graduating' from fucking primary school next....

*harrumphs into Daily Telegraph*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)
They make me angry,
Everyone pays a fortune to get their hair and makeup done to make them look like hookers and buy tacky dresses and hires those stupid stretch limos and hummer things. It's like they're designed specifically to piss me off.
Some primary schools have them as well. When I left primary school, we all went bowling, and then had fish and chips, and we were grateful for it, damnit!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
I don't think we did anything when I left primary school.
When I left secondary school we had a leavers do. My friend got drunk and vomited all over the floor and some girl we didn't like walked through it in stocking feet. She stopped and said to us "oh ew, is this soup?" and because we hated her we said yes.

They played stupid kissing games and it was just generally shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)
^nobody wanted to kiss Kitty?
Awwwwww....
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)
I didn't involve myself in the games
but yeah that probably would have been what happened.

*sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Awww.... Kitty, any of the guys here would happily snog you
Aren't you glad you found a place in the world where all the blokes have significantly lower standards?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)
We had a leavers' do as well.
It involved meeting at 7am in a park near the school and drinking solidly for an hour and a half. Not a 'Hummer' or a fucking 'corsage' in sight.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:19, Reply)
You didn't get a hummer?
Poor guy
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:20, Reply)
capital H, old boy, capital H.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)
I know, I know
I have seen a stretch Hummer get stuck down a narrow road. Stupid cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)
Haha I see them in Shoreditch quite a lot.
Cunts on stag do's or outside Asian Weddings...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)
damn you Narnia
I read that as Aslan's weddings
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)
euphemism for erection, Dave

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)
No it isn't.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)
Well I'm making it one, and you can't do anything about it

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)
Best of luck with that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)
I've got a hummer right now
for you
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)
When I left primary school
everyone just went home. That seemed sufficient at the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)
We had a BOUNCY CASTLE at mine
you were a deprived child
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)
We had a real castle. I lived in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:19, Reply)
You couldn't do backflips off the walls though, could you?
Neither could I mind, but if I'd had the athletic ability, I might have
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)

i a
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)
I had a prom in secondary school 12 years ago
get with the times, old man.

You are right though, there's an american monopoly on the word 'prom', and I'd have been happier if it had been called the school disco
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
When I was at university
the cunts already had 'semesters' instead of terms.

Ghastly.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:11, Reply)
My ex went to an American school
and therefore decided that if anything wasn't going her way, it 'sucked'

..well, at least she certainly did
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)
I know
Don't they know the English academic year is broken into three terms, so the correct word is actually trimester? Fuckwits.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:25, Reply)
Yes, but
the three term (trimester) system has been Americanised into a 2-semester system.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)
*facepalms*
WHY? What was wrong with the system we had?

IN MY DAY...(long letter of indignation to the Torygraph with multiple uses of the phrases "'twas ever thus" and "political correctness gone mad.")
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Nothing was wrong with it
Bugger all. Nada.

But some daft bastards decided to change the system, to bring it in line with the American system. Which, for some unknown reason, was perceived as being superior.

Which it clearly isn't.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)
As a PhD Student*
I'm fucking glad I'm doing it through the British system rather than the American one.

*Unwashed, tax-dodging layabout
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)
They have semesters at the University of St Andrews now as well

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)
Ours are semesters too :(

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:10, Reply)
Same here, :/

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Semesters are pish
We have them too, but the old 3x10 week terms fitted in much better with Christmas and Easter holidays. Now we have to split both semesters to accommodate holidays. What a crap idea.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)
ours are still terms
with silly names
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Like Tasmin?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:29, Reply)
Michaelmas, Hilary and Trinity
on Americanisms though we call our holidays vacation time
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Hilary?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)
yup
spelt that way as well
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)
weird

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:35, Reply)
we're a weird bunch
we live inside a big quiet bubble
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:36, Reply)
A friend of mine emigrated to Canada a number of years back.
His daughter's graduation photos were on FB the other day.

She's 9.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)
*shakes head sadly*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)
What's the world coming to?
In my day I had to hide in a wheelie bin outside a school for that sort of material, now it's all over the internet...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)
I don't know what's worse
The thought of you in the wheelie bin, or the fact that 9 year olds' graduation photos are on the net.

Or indeed the fact that 9 year olds are graduating at all.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:38, Reply)
It's pretty dire, whichever way you choose to look at it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I'm going to go with the fact that 9 year olds are 'graduating' at all
Graduating? All they've done is finished their fucking primary education! I would hardly consider this an achievement. All this will do is give the precocious little shits an entirely undue sense of accomplishment.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)
Especially
since I was 12 until I finished my primary education, then went to high school (without any sort of ceremony), then left aged 18 (without any sort of ceremony) to go to university, where I spent 8 years gaining 3 degrees (during which time I had earned the right to 3 ceremonies).

And that's as it should be. Although I'm not big on ceremonies and couldn't really be bothered with university graduations either.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)
The last ceremony I recall
was matriculation at university. And that was merely to congratulate us on not being utter mongs and managing to get in
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)
Matriculation for me
involved standing in a queue for hours, having my photo taken and leaving with a little plastic card. With no ceremony.

My life has been relatively devoid of ceremony.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)
haha
we put on sub fusc (uni gowns over black/white clothing), sat in a massive building and had Latin read at us. Then got pissed on champage at eleven in the morning and ate bagels
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)
no smuggery on this side of the planet, things have been a bit shit lately
are vampires mythical creatures? I'd totally be one of them.

Congrats on the date/holiday/hair. I used to do the bff's hair all of the time. But she's got a fella now. She doesn't need her hair done.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Fucking hell, your ignore is still purple
I don't like it. And yes Vampires are mythical, you've been watching too much True Blood. It's not a documentary!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)
What? Shut up.
I've only watched 2 episodes in the last three weeks, in fact, I'm behind on this season.
Also, shut up.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:13, Reply)
I'm just jealous
We haven't got the second series over here yet and Ms Foxtrot stole it off the net ahead of time to perv on Eric so the very mention of it sends me into spirals of self-doubt /end emo
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)
I was going to give you some sort of reassuring chat but I really am not in the mood
she's with you, he will never ever be with her

so just man the fuck up already
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)
You two take each other very literally
I find it most amusing
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:25, Reply)
shut up or I will rape your eye with a light bulb

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:27, Reply)
promises, promises

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)
I'm phoning my private jet right fucking now

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:30, Reply)
*sings*
WONDER WOMAN...!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Yes, Kristine is one of the few people on B3ta I can have an actual conversation with when the mood takes us
You being one of the others of course Bluenose
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)
he's right though, we do take eachother entirely too literally
bring your gayface over here
lets hug it out
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Should I know what a bluenose is?

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:40, Reply)
Where I'm from
It's an Evertonian.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I thought it meant Rangers fan
But let's assume it means cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I'm happy with that
but why do you keep talking football at me? I haven't been interested in football for about 14 years
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)
Of course not
They don't have football where you come from

(Editor's note: I have no idea about anything to do with you, am just running with this ill-conceived idea because it seems to be the fashion)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Of course not
They don't have football where you come from

(Editor's note: I have no idea about anything to do with you, am just running with this ill-conceived idea because it seems to be the fashion)

I am a big gay
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)
Witty AND original
Clearly I underestimated you, ya weedgie cuntrag
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Witty AND original
Clearly I underestimated you, ya weedgie cuntrag

I bum men in the arse
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)
*hugs*
*presses self into boobs*

They're right, put some weight back on
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I'd be a unicorn
For no reason other than that I watched Blade Runner recently. I'd forgetten that Admiral Adama's in it

Or, even more topically, I'd be a Hippogriff
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Alt Q : I would be Taranis.
Why? Because I am a smartarse.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:07, Reply)
I would be a Liver Bird
They're like a gryphon crossed with a cormorant and they're green and they're MASSIVE
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:07, Reply)
I would imagine they also have elements of the magpie, too?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)
Those chattering bullying cunts
can fuck off
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I check my silver cutlery after every visit

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:10, Reply)
is that a euphemism?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)
I'd check your fillings, too, if I were you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)
B3ta appears to have been completely unblocked at my work
I'm worried and a little bit scared. Surely this whole thing is a trap?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:10, Reply)
hopefully

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:13, Reply)
I paid you a nice compliment the other day
and Lab was kind enough to put it on the popular page, so don't be mean
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)
Wondered if you'd see that

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)
I did, and I think that it makes you an awful person

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)
I thought it was funny
So I clicked. Isn't that what you wanted? HUH?!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)
No, Lab
I've been moaning about people who click my posts being mongs ever since I got back, and I even asked Rob to disable my 'I like this' button, but he never got back to me
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)
You ranted about people NOT clicking if they like a post.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)
YEAH
but on OTHER people's. Clicking my posts is a sign of mental illness
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)
I click your posts to piss you off.
I thought that was right?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:50, Reply)
If that's your intention
then yeah, sure go for it
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)
sorry.
I take it back.

yllufepoh
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Eh?
I'm not here enough to know what all the acronyms mean anymore
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:36, Reply)
it's 'hopefully' backwards

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Everybody in this place is such a cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Oh, yeah
I'd be Artemis cos she's all of the awesome. Apart from the whole celibacy thing.
Or a siren.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)
Oh shit yeah, Siren!
Or mermaid oooooh, I've always wanted to be a mermaid.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Like this?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)
^^ Would

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:36, Reply)
^^^have

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)
^^^^ Ow

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:40, Reply)
But you wouldn't have a fanny!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Fuck it, I don't know how to put images in.
www.comedyshack.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/reverse-mermaid.jpg
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)
You're already a foghorn.


(for comedic purposes)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Cheers love

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Nae bother, pal

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)
You're in good company
My teachers gave me the nickname Foghorn (Surname) at primary school.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)
Your surname is Leghorn?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Croissants for breakfast everyday
but they only sell those prepackaged ones here.

And I would be a centaur. Or Athena
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Big fan of posters, are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)
no
I detest them. And I can spell Athena however I wish
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:36, Reply)
So I see.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:40, Reply)
Does that shop chain still exist?
My sister used to be in there all the time when she was a teenager.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:40, Reply)
I only have a vague memory of it
from when I was a child. As far as I know it's gone out of business
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:43, Reply)
there's one in Exeter
it's still open
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:43, Reply)
The land that time forgot.
EDIT the people of Exeter are currently very excited about the new George Formby 78 - due in the shops in just a week's time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)
^^ The man that time forgot

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)
*proud*
Cheers for my new sig, old boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:48, Reply)
Thought you might be - now pop a 12" record and kick back

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)
WORD.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)
I'll have you know that we have at least 4 telephones in Exeter now
we are riding the crest of the technological wave.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)
FFS!
You'll be getting rid of the open sewers soon!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)
But then weher will they drown the witches?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:56, Reply)
They'll have to burn them instead.
Once they've discovered fire.

Edit - see Vipros's sig for evidence that they haven't.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)
Hahah quality

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Don't talk of the fair maidens of Exeter in that way, please.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)
cough*bullshit*cough

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:56, Reply)
Some brief googling has confirmed your statement
Although it does appear that there are only 7 stores left in the UK.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)
Pretty sure it went bust years ago

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)
Don't you dare be picking on Montgomery
he may be senile, but I'll totally be smackin' the ho' who chest-to-chests my homiez
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)
He gazzed me last week
I like him now, or at the very least respect him.

Anyone who tries to get on his case will be met with a swift slap by my pussy hand
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)
This is a bit of a U-turn

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Nah, not really
I never had anything against the bloke, and I found his insults quite amusing.

I will forever think of myself as a 'blurry, jug-eared James Bond wannabe' now
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:04, Reply)
Even though the first Bond was Scottish I'm not sure he ever wore a kilt...
Anyway i'm more surprise at Monty, he seemed pretty fed up with you.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:11, Reply)
OHMSS 'Hilary Bray' - kilt. Lazenby.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Never seen that one, must be the only one

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:26, Reply)
I'm rather smug about the bash
I managed to stay pretty sober, and not fall asleep in front of everyone. This is an achievement for me, so woo!

Also ended up with a girl last night whom I'd already assumed I wasn't going to get anywhere near.

Alt Q: Hades, but I'd do it in the style of James Woods. (Fucking love that film)
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Forgot to lock the back door, did she?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)
****EUPHEMISM ALERT*****

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:38, Reply)
Nah, and she wasn't that drunk either
Nor asleep, nor on drugs, nor disabled, not hindered in any way.

I actually pulled a normal girl for once!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:38, Reply)

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