Depressing overheard quotes.
Some cock necked student on the train...

"Sometimes ah just go on youtube and watch aboot 8 episodes of Gavin and Stacey, in a row"

And

"She spent £30 on mayonnaisse"


Our future, their hands.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:36, 257 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Thanks for such a cheerful start to the day.
It's worrying though isn't it? We should introduce IQ tests for potential parents and prevent breeding by those with an IQ under a certain level.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:39, Reply)

But we need drones to empty our bins.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Use robots.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Weight should also be monitored before people are allowed to reproduce
Can't have fat people bringing more fat people into the world, there's too many of them making the tube stink of BO as it is.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:52, Reply)

society needs to occasional lolfatty to make the rest of us feel superior.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

No all fat people should be put down.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Students are retards
However, so are MDs. My one has banned me from eating at my desk and checking my mobile.

Now, the eating one I understand from a customer point of view, as I'm the first person you see when you walk into the office. However, I'm still banned, even on days when we've got no customers in. Made even more frustrating, that everyone else in the office is allowed to eat at their desk, including one lad who lived on mackerel for about a week, made the office stink. I was even banned from eating cereal at my desk, before the working day even starts (fair enough). I've just walked in to see one of the girls in the office eating a bowl of cereal, with the same MD looking over her shoulder, saying it looks quite tasty.

The phone thing I'd understand, if others (not necessarily sales) didn't take calls every single day, including one whose ringtone is bloody loud.

The guy has one rule for me, and different rules for everyone else. Fucking tosser. Arggghhh, grr, etc.

/rant

On the upside, I have hot chocolate!

EDIT: Also, Gavin and Stacey is wank. Currently, the series I'm watching are HIMYM, Castle, Chuck and Bones.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

quit.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:48, Reply)

quite.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

If only
Bills to pay, etc.

My Dad is retired, my Stepmum will be soon, so I can't keep going to them for money. Living with them for the next 2 months will be bad enough!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

My heart goes out to you.
It really does.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:55, Reply)

And er, you haven't confronted him about it why?

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:50, Reply)

I'm in his 'bad books'
The man is nearly 50, and holds pathetic grudges. While all this is going on, I simply have to keep my head down, and obey his every ruling.

There simply aren't any other jobs out there at the minute.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

I'm over 50 and hold pathetic grudges too.
You don't suddenly become mature when you pass a certain age you know.

I'm off to play on the swings in a minute, anybody want to come?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Swings?
AWESOME!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Its really a tyre on a rope, over a ditch.
But it is fun provided you don't fall in.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

That sounds like a recipe for disaster
I'm in!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I fail to see why that's relevant.
He's quite clearly in the wrong. If it was something debatable I could understand you wanting to keep your loaf down, but it's not. There's no way he can be seen to be in the right in any way whatsoever.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:55, Reply)

it's his company he can do what he likes.
Shame, but true.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Not everyone who runs their own business uses it as their private fiefdom and treats people badly though.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:58, Reply)

no, but this guy does. AA was telling us about him the other week.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I know and it is appalling that some people think they can go around behaving like that.
As a small business owner I just wanted to make the point that we're not all like that. I try hard to treat my staff well - without them I wouldn't have a business.

However you can also have employees that take the piss (I am not inferring that AA does this)
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

In ways I do, and when I am brought up on those, I accept, and change
But the ways I've highlighted above do not come under this heading.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

of course he does, he's on b3ta!!!
edit - you're boss is satan though.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I'm very quick with Ctrl+Tab, Alt+Tab
I always have something work related open in other tabs, I've never been caught on here (except for when I was pulled into a meeting)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

He prefers the term "Lord of the Underworld"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

No, no, no.
You're not IMPLYING that AA does this.
(Cave Duck, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Oh alright - you knew what I meant though.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

True
But sadly it's his company, these are his rules, like them or lump them.

When I can find another job, I intend on making clear how much I dislike his rules. Suggestions?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

stab him in the side of the knee with a biro
before knocking up some nunchuka using empty toner and flex cable and batter him.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Sounds better than my suggestion, I was simply going to curl one out on his desk

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

office death day dream was one of my favourite games when a recruiter.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

People can be cruel to their ex-lovers

( broadsword, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Last time I was in England I used one of those frightful public transport things
there were young people banging on about big brother behind me, and posh suits banging on about powerpoint presentations next to me. I think the solution really is just to never use public transport again.
( broadsword, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

I remember this time in July of 2005 when some people tried to come up with a logical solution to the horror of taking the tube
They got AWFUL press
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Last time I was in London on public transport
the two suits behind me were talking far too loudly about "visions" and "missions" and such bullshit. The best part was when one said to the other: "Wait; is that our Mission or our Vision?"

The other guy says:" Well, such-and-such is our mission isn't it? And so-and-so's our vision. Or is it the other way around?"

"I'm not sure..."
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

There is never a handy shovel around when you need one.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Hiya

(Cave Duck, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

M Peoplols

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Should I know who that is?
Or are you calling a spade a spade?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

unintentionalracismlols

(Cave Duck, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:38, Reply)

That would've been a good point for you to do a Harry Hill impersonation
and said, 'well I like missions, and I like visions, but which is better?'

And then punched them both.
( broadsword, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Hey now
You can NEVER have enough mayonnaise
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Yes you can
It's known as 'any'.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I concur
Mayonnaise is basically spaff in a jar
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Mayo is ace, especially on chips.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

No chance
Ketchup or tomato relish, that's all.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:12, Reply)

That's only correct if you're talking about Hellman's
That stuff is VILE
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Homemade mayonnaise is the way forward.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:58, Reply)

^^^ WINNER ^^^

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

it's so easy and cheap to make too - don't understand why more people don't make their own.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

oh I tried to make my own once
it went dreadfully wrong. I don't know what I did, but it managed to taste like off mustard. I don't think mustard can even go off.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Probably the type of oil you used.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:13, Reply)

yeah that's what I thought.
_{I'm lying, I had no fucking idea}
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Try it with 90% ground nut oil and 10% olive oil (not extra virgin as it tastes too strong)

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I'll just get Wiggy to make it
he hates mayonnaise because he had to make so much of it when he worked in a kitchen as a teenager, so he must be pretty good at it by now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I can see nothing wrong with this plan
I'm sure it'll turn out perfectly.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I refer you to my previous "spaff in a jar" comment

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I've never tried homemade, so I will keep an open mind until I do.
But all the stuff I've tried just tastes like oil.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Yes, maybe
But £30 worth...That's a lot of spaff
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Maybe they are going to a halloween party dressed as a bukkakke?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

It is a lot of spaff
but if its some kind of one man, artisanal spaff operation, it would have taken AGES to collect a jar-full.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:01, Reply)

On this subject.
This morning on the radio, some twit was saying that male sperm donors should be paid the same as women egg donors. WTF,
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I don't see a problem
If I got paid to wank I'd be a millionaire by now
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

At 10p a shot?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:07, Reply)

0
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:08, Reply)

No :(
I'd still be a penniless hippy
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:09, Reply)

The reason for the equity in pay is because the donor has to refrain from booze and sex before donation.
Is it worth it?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

It could be a sustainable second income for WoW players

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Mayonnaise is brilliant
I will hear nothing against it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:01, Reply)

morning

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:03, Reply)

hello
I like your new name
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:09, Reply)

tvm

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Yes, another in the pro-mayo camp!

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:04, Reply)

you wouldn't believe how pro-mayo I am
I love it so much. Every meal.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

It's nice but turns you into a fat mess.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:06, Reply)

it's true
I'm a proper hippo. Hippos are pretty cute though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

What's all this I hear about you not liking Marmite? Heathen!

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:13, Reply)

My thoughts exactly

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

oh come on, hardly anyone likes Marmite, it's disgusting. It tastes like melted tarmac.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:20, Reply)

It's fantastic
Nothing better goes on toast!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:22, Reply)

EVERYTHING is better on toast
included melted tarmac.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Fool of a Took!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Incorrect post is incorrect.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:24, Reply)

the woman is right!!!!!!!
marmite is dog shit
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:27, Reply)

No.
Just no.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I think we have gone down a different path my friend.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:30, Reply)

everytime you start to go up in my estimation you knock yourself back down again...

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I am a yoyo
ai need five pounds for lemsip
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

You've got a tax rebate - spend some of that.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

that cleared yesterday. And I'm too ill to spend it.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Obligatory post: MTFU

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Right I'm off to fuck something, kill it and eat it grrrrrrr

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Are you a reaver?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Don't they fuck it and then eat it
the death is incidental.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

and sew the skin into their clothes
or is that the Jews?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:45, Reply)

It's something like "They'll rape us to death, cut us apart and wear our skin as clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

It always made me wonder
how you rape someone to death. Not like a "here's a handy how to" but more of a morbid curiousity thing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Not sure either really...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

That's more like it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Particularly if you use it as a milk substitute in smoothies
Bacon, black pudding and mayo are my favourite. I call it my "Executive Breakfast Smoothie'.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

You're making my breakfast of two apples sound shit.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:14, Reply)

nyom!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Hmmmm. Black pudding. *salivates*

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:15, Reply)

You must try the 'Stornoway' variety
Far superior to the anonymous black discs that usually masquerade as quality blood sausage. Plus if you buy the whole pudding as such, you can cut it to your desired thickness. Nothing beats a few thin crispy slices alongside a more substantial 'doorstep'.

www.charlesmacleod.co.uk/index1.htm
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Nice. They do white pudding as well by the look of it - delicious. I am going to order some from them.
We buy black pudding from a farm shop - lovely served with duck eggs.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:22, Reply)

White Pudding is fantastic
I had loads in Ireland
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Me too. Some of the best food I have ever had was in Ireland.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I had a fantastic Lasagne over there
Far worse for me than any I've eaten since, loads of cheese in the sauce, but my god, it was tasty!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

The quality of the fish and meat in Ireland cannot be beaten (except the wagu steak I had once)

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Scotland's beef is astonishing too
There's a place in Glasgow that serves Kobe beef in a burger, I'm going to have to give that a try at some point methinks...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Horse steak is also a winner - there is a french restaurant in Edinburgh that does it - superb.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I've never been to Edinburgh, am thinking of spending new year 2011-2012 there.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Gaz me before you do - the gf is from there & we spend quite a lot of time there with her family so I know it reasonably well.
I will tell you about some decent pubs, bars and restaurants.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Shall do!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:48, Reply)

what's white pudding made of?
I can't be arsed googling
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:45, Reply)

tripe, seasoning and a little ground oatmeal (I think)

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I thought it was using fat rather than blood?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

There is fat in it, but I think tripe is the main ingredient. Some contain minced pork too.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Either way, tasty as fook
I prefer it to Black Pudding. Black pudding should be grilled, not fried damnit!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I fully endorse this post.
Stornaway black pudding FTW.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

You don't like Marmite
Your opinion is invalid.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

We've had this discussion, I'm allowed to dislike Marmite.
Even Marmite themselves admit I'm allowed to hate Marmite.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

ui15.gamespot.com/1614/invalidargument_2.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Thank you!
I've been looking for that picture for ages!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I spent about £1.15 on mayo yesterday
I added garlic to it so now my breath smells a bit.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:15, Reply)

A little garlic mayo on a kebab is alreet, I get it because while I like the flavour of the chilli sauce, it takes my bloody head off

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I had it with steak and chips it was good.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Have you tried the chimichurri stuff Monty raves about? I made some the other week to have with a steak - very good.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I have had it, but never cooked it.
I like it but I prefer my steak with less seasoning.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I've only ever found one sauce I like with Steak
Brandy and Peppercorn, that was fantastic.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Garlic and herb butter?
Mustard?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Mustard I've not tried, it was only recently I tried it again after about 14 years without it
Garlic and herb, wouldn't really be too much of a sauce, would it?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Blue cheese on top is a winner too.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I've only ever tried blue stilton, and hated it
I was really disappointed about that!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

try something a bit less salty - gorgonzola or dolcelatte

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Shall do
Thank you!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

A decent deli will let you taste a bit before you buy some so ask to do so

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

The ex-missus worked at the cheese counter in Sainsburys, not too badly stocked
I got banned after taking the piss after we split up
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Was that due to eating their whole hot roasted chickens and not paying for them?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Nope, she's just petty like that
I wandered up, asked for some cheddar. It's right near the front, so she had to lean right in. When I commented I'd not seen her bent over that far in months, she told me to fuck off, and ran off crying. Whoops...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:52, Reply)

ha ha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I like blue cheese on a pork steak
Not tried it on a steak steak.

Mind you, the last bit has been sitting in the fridge for about 6 weeks - blue cheese can't go off, can it?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Yes it can eventually.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I'll give it a sniff first
although I'm not sure I'll be able to tell anything from that, now that I think about it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Or just some butter and let it melt through it
NYOMNYOMNYOMNYOM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

And now I want steak & chips
at 9.25 in the morning
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Steak o'clock

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

steak and eggs for breakfast is a winner - albeit an expensive way to start the day.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Oh chompy
Between the smelly breath and the paperclips, how do you ever expect to make love at a woman?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:19, Reply)

He gets them at a bash

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:21, Reply)

No I get them made in china.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:22, Reply)

So, can you escape this feeling, with your China Girl?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Don't push too far
Your dreams are china in your hands
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:27, Reply)

She locks it all inside and hides it all away
China, China?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Whilst "walking on the Chinese wall"

(Cave Duck, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:37, Reply)

It's the chinese way
(Level 42 were shit)
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Well you're talkin' 'bout China Grove
(talkin' 'bout China Grove)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

The Chinese envoy was here.

(Cave Duck, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:46, Reply)

at a woman?
To a woman, surely. Unless you are behind a glass screen.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:24, Reply)

That was an added bonus joke

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:25, Reply)

<3 you

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Is he really less than 3?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

You have to explain a lot to these people.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Hello, I'm Maximinimus
I used to be a fat mess and scared of people, these days I'm neither.
I'm still quite a quiet person but I am lovey dubby and very friendly if you meet me.
I like the hugs and cuddles and get quite huggy when I'm drunk, not inappropriately huggy mind you, I am VERY polite and ask for hugs.

Any questions?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Yes
Are you on the sex offender register too?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Just below you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I would expect that from /talk
Not from here though :'(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Then have a manhug as way of an apology

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:46, Reply)

he's spent too much time with Badger, ignore him

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I'm looking forward to stamping your cupcakes into the floor
And that's not a euphemism.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Ha ha
*is tempted*
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I was going to ice yours with a mohawk and everything
you big bully.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I will actually love you forever if you do that
Maybe even '4eva', which is clearly better.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)

You should bake a rusty nail into it
then when he stamps on it, hilarity.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)

The best questions around at the moment appear to be about mayo and marmite.
I despair for this place sometimes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

But do you like Marmite?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:53, Reply)

FUCK OFF

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Ugh!
You just reminded me of that bit in Midnight Express.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I have seen an episode of Gavin & Stacey
I couldn't figure out who was the funny one?

Actually I have seen 2 episodes, I saw the christmas special. Fucking dreadful.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Ooh AA get the Pandatron out on QOTW
someone wants to 'rummage through RSwipe's underwear drawer'
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:31, Reply)

link please.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/wishlist/post922328
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Ta. I am so tempted to troll that post.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Go for it
When AB notices it he'll probably jump right in there
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:52, Reply)

oh.
well i wish he would come round and do it this week, as he might annoy the Guests more than they are annoying me! (my decent underwear lives in the spare room drawers, which is why this is relevant)

/anti-social
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I knew a woman who used to have her underwear on special underwear coathangers,
all hung up in the wardrobe. I was pretty jealous.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:02, Reply)

oh god i am not that well organised
but i do need to have a major clothes cull as i have 2 wardrobes in my spare room, 2 in my room, 1 cupboard in the hall, and about 15 drawers.

and they are ALL full.and i have a new flatmate moving in, in january.

maybe she will be a naturist and won't need any wardrobe space?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I have trolled. Mainly as he has a previous post about shagging a hooker. Nice.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Poor girl, and she does NOTHING to encourage it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Innit
blud
( Kroney, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Done

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I shoulda copyrighted that pic
I'd be a quidaire by now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

The gandertron is so much better!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Oh yes it is
Pure genius it is. Rwandatron was funny, but sick.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

*is proud to have had the Pandertron engaged once*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:41, Reply)

"Rswipe"
Was that deliberate?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Yes
It's how she intended it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:48, Reply)

that's not a panda.
that's a bit of creepy mouth-breathing stalking.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I thought that, I was going to write "that's not at all creepy"
but then I thought it might be an in-joke between them or something.

However, having since had a quick look at his last QOTW post, he wrote "proceeded to" and that annoys me so I now hate him.

EDIT: Morning badger
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:48, Reply)

ah, I see, they know each other?
in that case you might be right. However, this is the internet, therefore half-baked accusations without proper consideration for evidence are GO!

This means regardless of any proof to the contrary, I know 100% believe he sits around in a stained t-shirt and boxers, surrounded by empty coke bottles and dominos boxes, shoving wotsits into his maw whilst wanking furiously over Star Trek slash fiction.

Edit - How rude. Morning Kitty.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:52, Reply)

You're getting him confused with me

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:58, Reply)

it's easy to tell you apart
i'd scream more loudly if you were the one raiding my underwear.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

ah, so you do know the underwear forager?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

no...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I've just banged my knee on the desk really really hard and I nearly threw up with the pain : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I always do that
Right in the middle of the kneecap. I think I must have about 7 kneecap pieces by now :o(

I feel your pain (awaits strikethrough)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:43, Reply)

intella
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)

patella presumably

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Not good
I did the same with my toe last night
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I've mangled my little toes so often
They dont really even look like toes any more - ouch!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I remember at school once I dropped a pen on the floor and leaned down to pick it up,
proper smashing my nipple into the corner of the desk. It fucking well hurt, but because I was in class I couldn't scream or rub it better or anything.

yeah yeah I said 'rub it better'.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

*applies a special Mr Bumpy plaster*
There there, it's ok.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

fanku *sniffles*

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

"people in having different tastes in television getting called retarded shocker"
"see pages 2,3,5 and 7. Also on page 4, Ursine defecation in arboreal environment DISMAY"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Thank God you've arrived
I hadn't been judged for a few hours and was beginning to feel faint.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:57, Reply)

haha. Well played.
I do share your opinion of Gavin and Stacey. However against all odds I have found some intelligent people who profess to like it, so I'm not sure it's a fair judge of retardedness.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)

It was more the fact that he was watched 8 episodes, in a row, on you tube
I have never seen the programme myself and therefore in no real position to hand out a pixel based tongue lashing.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Last night I pulled a bogey out of a baby's nose
I didn't flinch.
He was snuffling, It came down slightly, I seized the moment and helped him out. I think we now have an unbreakable bond, if I can do that and not feel ill afterwards. I was good with my nephew 14 years ago, but I did get a bit bawky when he plopped, and I'd never have touched his snots.
I had to share this. I'm sorry. I'm as shocked as you probably are.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Just wait until he gets older
The bogey taps turn on full then. If you are lucky you can get one out thats about half his size, with gentle coaxing.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I know, but I'm not expecting to be too freaked out now
Whereas I used to go "ARGH! MUCUS!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

You'll make a wonderful mother.
My nephew used to get really bad constipation when he was a toddler. My sister has been known to bend him over her knee and pull the poo out : /
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:49, Reply)

oh man that's so gross my tummy and throat did an involuntary spasm

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

In third world countries, if babies get the snuffles then the mothers suck the snot out of their noses.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'm sure the Marquis de Sade included that in his book

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'll have a look when I get home.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

urrrrghhhhhhhhhh really? awesome!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I don't know what it is
But the thought of other peoples snot makes me feel sicker than anything else.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

haha we discussed this last night when i expressed my amazement at what I'd done

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Right I'm not speaking to you for a while

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Whereas my nana used to shout
"Want me to come and squeeze your head?" when my aunty was egg-bound.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

you're really not selling this baby thing to me

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Now come on, how many times do we have to go over this?
You don't buy babies, you give birth to them. (Unless you're Madonna)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I'm buying one
I'm not housing a parasite for 9 months.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

But you'll happily house one for 18 years?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Wait until he can blow huge snot bubbles
and wipes it on your best black frock. Then see how adorable he is.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Does that happen to your LBDs often, Noel?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Large Black Dildos?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Little Black Dress.
You have a lot to learn, young man.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I know what an LBD is for women
But as I've met Noel, the thought of him in a dress is none too appealing, therefore I suggested something utterly ridiculous, to distract me from this image.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Don't lie.
You're positively tumescent.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

why is it Lzay and not lazy?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh4gck89uj0
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I have worn nice dresses to all my visits to him
So far so good, but I was expecting vom. He doesn't seem to vom.
He is the best behaved baby I've ever looked after. I'm starting to think there's something wrong with him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I love that you're happy, and I don't want to dent that at all.
Once, when daughter was about five months old, I got home from work and lay on the floor, grabbed daughter under the arms and started flying her around above me like a little Supergirl. She was loving it. Her mum shouted from the other room 'Careful, she's just been fed' just at the moment her smiling mouth hurled lovely white formula puke all over my face and chest, even into my mouth. Think that scene from Aliens where Bishop's coughing his lungs up.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I know these things happen
It's ok
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Damn you woman, BE MORE SICKENED!
:)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

NOPE!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Is this the child you mentioned in your status? What did you mean about no pics?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

His mother isn't on Facebook and doesn't want me to put him on it
Totally respect that.
We haven't discussed it SINCE he's actually been born so she may change her mind but I'm not badgering her about it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Iz it becoz of all da peedofiles on der?
Ugh, I feel dirty
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

not really
She just doesn't like the whole 'broadcasting your life' thing so she is not on facebook, doesn't approve of having her photo on there, etc etc. On last discussing it she felt the same about her baby.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough
That's better then.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

you probably shouldn't have touched that kid up, then.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

That student must be culled
And I shall take her friend's mayonnaise.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)