Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread timeI had a run in briefly with another girl at my college, who I share a mutual dislike with. Whenever she speaks to me, she uses my names several times within a sentence, like 'Amberl, how lovely to see you Amberl, I haven't seen you in ages Amberl' until I want to punch her. What small things really get on your nerves?
Alt Q: Favourite children's book? As in one you'd still quite enjoy if you read it now. Anything by Robin Jarvis for me
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:06,
208 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
I used to love "Grump and the Hairy Mammoth"but I suspect I wouldn't enjoy it as much now.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:09, Reply)
^ You just have to lower the tone.^"The Land of Far Beyond," Enid Blyton.
A Pilgrim's Progress for kids.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:17, Reply)
People talking loudly next to my desk when I'm on the phone, that should be a fucking defence for murderAlt Q: Roald Dahl - Boy or J.R.R. Tolkein - The Hobbit
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:09,
Reply)
You should boob-slam her next time.I'm not sure exactly what that is but I'm sure it'll solve your problems.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:10, Reply)
I'm a very calm personand it takes lots to get me annoyed or bothered, but this girl manages it in record time. I've no idea what a boob-slam is, so I'll opt with the fantasy of one well timed punch
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:11,
Reply)
Why did I just see that??My poor eyes
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
Puch to the boobsthen you shout BOOB!-SLAM! in her face and run round her in a circle.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:13, Reply)
That's not a boob slam, that's a tit box, which ought to be used in conjunction with a cunt punt for the full effect.(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:16, Reply)
No, because he's clearly using his handa punt involves the toe of your boot.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:18, Reply)
She seems to cum almost instantly.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20,
Reply)
Not that it gets on my nerves,but I have a similar nemesis at the moment - he's just joined the group, and I just can't help but get the feeling he doesn't like me. I've been trying to get on with him but he always seems a bit short with me.
Alt Q: Either Bad Mood Bear or Moppy is Angry.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:13, Reply)
Small "things", I mean - what's the point.......??Alt Q:
The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton. Every child should have a copy. Also The Weirdstone of Brisingham
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:13, Reply)
I liked the second oneThe Moon of Gomrath better than the first
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:16,
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I should read the whole thread clearlyalso one of my favourites.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:35,
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My missus only understands if you actually say somethingi.e. you cannot just nod or shake your head, you have to also speak. This gets right on my nipples
Alt A:
I loved reading the Dragonfall 5 books by Brian Earnshaw
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:14,
Reply)
I hate people who do thatit's really american
there was a customer relations course here (that I didn't go to) and apparently one of the things they were told to do was to keep using someone's name when you are talking to them.
it pisses me off so much.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:16,
Reply)
I think she's afraid of forgetting itand of saying 'evil cunt' instead.
'Hi Amberl, how are you, you evil cunt'
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20,
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Really Vipros?Do you find it annoying Vipros?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
If someone of the opposite sex does it noticiblythen it's a sign they fancy you.
Apparently, it's never happenend to me.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:38, Reply)
That's an elaborate plan that I started a while back.I keep telling everyone I'm charming and witty thus linking myself to that phrase eventually when anybody who doesn't know me asks what I'm like they'll describe me as charming and witty almost subconsiously.
Basically I'm doing social engineering on everyone I know. Which in itself is both charming and witty.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:56, Reply)
Isn't it closer to NLP?(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:04,
Reply)
It's not really advanced enough to call it NLP,but there are some links between that and social engineering.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:14, Reply)
I really really hate it when people invade my personal space and don't take the hint to get the FUCK AWAY FROM ME.It's completely different if it's on my terms, but I hate it when people just get really close and touchy.
The Fire Within series by Chris d'Lacey
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:17, Reply)
You must have found last sunday very uncomfortable then.B3tans are a very touchy feely bunch.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I'm on there!Wearing my 'stunning' summer outfit
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:44,
Reply)
There should be more labelling on the picsand not just cocks on necks
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:59,
Reply)
Cockneck is Light In ChainsI'm the cunt in the bright yellow stuff.
Make the rest up!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:10,
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Are you one of those unfortunate people who finds yourself being approached by the pub weirdo*?Who insists on talking at you, at length, no more than six inches from your face?
If so, I share your pain.
*EDIT E.g., the bloke who just posted right above me...
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Oh HI!!!!! I didn't see you there!!!!!How are you doing!!!!!! It's been so long!!!!!!!
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Erm...how are you doing? Sorry, we must catch up at some point,I'd love to hear more about your collection of bivalve shells, but I've really got to dash off and, erm...drink quietly in the opposite corner of the pub
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:26, Reply)
yes, exactly.and I don't like the people collecting for charities because I have hardly any money on me and always manage to get cornered and guilt tripped into giving everything I have.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:23, Reply)
Just ignore themI give money to charities directly after thinking about it for a while to make sure they are the charities I want to support, I'm not going to make a decision on the street, especially for some shit charity that helps poor people. Or foreigners.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:24, Reply)
It's worse when the cunts come to your door to try and guilt you into it"no I don't want to help buy a goat for a village in Africa, and I particularly don't want to do it on my doorstep at 7:30 on a Sunday evening. you fucking shitbag"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:31,
Reply)
Well, you probably saw my rant about the bolshy beggar on MondayThough if you're in the pub and the chuggers come round, the best one I normally have to hand is "Sorry, I just gave my change to the last guy that came round."
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:25, Reply)
aha it's fine if you do.as long as they don't start stroking my hair or my arm...
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:37, Reply)
the same, you know who you're talking to, why continue to use my name? trying to make yourself seem caring? twat offalt: I don't have any, my parents didn't read to me and didn't make it seem like I should read so I don't think I read a book until I was 13 when I had to for school.
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:17,
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well you read in schoolbut I think that was the first time I read a book on my own
and it was shit
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:23,
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Other people.Alt: Probably some sort of 'choose your own adventure' thing that was dead popular when I were a lad (I wonder if they still write them?).
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
The Jackson & Livinstone ones?They were dead good.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:25,
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No they weren't. They were bollocks.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:30,
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I used to read the "Lone Wolf" booksbut I would cheat. I never rolled dice to see if I won a battle and I always marked my page just in case I chose the wrong path and died instantly.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:28,
Reply)
I shamefully did the sameDid play a couple properly though, but they were frustratingly harsh at times.
"You're at a fork in the road, do you continue North or go East?"
"You head east and are immediately eaten by a gigacunt. You are dead lol."
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
Ha! The kid I borrowed them from was much cleverer than mebut he played them properly. What was the point? If you die you have to start the book again and when you get to the bit where you died you're going to choose the other option.
Quite franky I think cheating at those books was a sign of intelligence.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:39,
Reply)
If she's going to be that passive-aggressiveAdopt a manner of speaking akin to Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I'd say Albut he's not small he's MASSIVE AND LARDY
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:30,
Reply)
I love you so muchWhy haven't you invited me round for dinner yet?
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)
Because you didn't give me your number(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
Also, there are several other ways of contacting me at your disposal right now.(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Yeah but I don't get on b3ta much and I hate facebookAnd yes it was my number
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:40,
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doesn't want to be eaten out of house and home(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:32,
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oh hai amberl? How is amberl today? Amberl good? Amberl want a cookie?oh Al ate them all
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:33,
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*punches*then waits for the assault charge
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:34,
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Yeah I was going to save some for Amberl, because I heard Amberl likes bicuitsbut then I couldn't help myself and now Amberl doesn't have any biscuits, but maybe Amberl would like a sandwich instead?
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:34, Reply)
*punches*Did I do good Amberl? I punch hard because I am burly, he'll stay down for a while, like a fly trapped in amber-lovely hat by the way, must keep you warm in this cold weather, which makes me go "I am brr" like how kids say.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
Way to ruin the 'gag'I still like you though.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:41,
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I don't like you though(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:42,
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This always makes me smile(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:33,
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Customers.They expect you to say how high when they say jump. Pisses me right off.
Luckily my dad is of the same opinion.
Alt q: I can't for the life of me remember what I read as a kid so it can't have been very interesting. I didn't read much at school but once I left I devoured books. I do remember starting Junior school and being several levels higher than everyone else in reading skills. *prouds*
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girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:34,
Reply)
do remember starting Junior school and being several levels higher than everyone else in reading skills. *prouds*
*Reads*
The remedial class for reading was on the top floor.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:39,
Reply)
At least I've read Solgenitzkin and I've had a crack at Kafka.*blows raspberry*
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girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:55,
Reply)
Alt (sort of):I'd recommend the Tim The Tiny Horse books by Harry Hill to those with children.(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Don't read her'Not Now Bernard'
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:43,
Reply)
Well, that's actually a hard question. It's sort of all and none.You could probably read them to your daughter now as very simple stories as they have naive charm (as do the illustrations. Then later she could read them as little morality tales. And they can be revisited as she comes to appreciate that wavering between naive and knowing that features in much of his humour.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:49, Reply)
Not up to standard old boyBelloc is cringing
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:06,
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Everything most people do gets on my nerves.Alt: Susan Cooper's 'Dark is Rising series', Ronald Welch's books, Penelope Lively's. Also the Biggles books. And Catweazle.
Any book where a boy of similar age and background to myself gets transported back into the past was a hit with me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:37,
Reply)
I was going to accuse you of breathtaking arrogancebut actually I think you might be right.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:41, Reply)
I was hoping Peter Noone would notice I had awarded it to myself.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:43,
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If anyone else had awarded themself POTD, I would call them an arrogant cunt.You arrogant cunt.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:46,
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I actually am one.*'fair cop, guv' face*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:47,
Reply)
I call 'em like I see 'em(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
I'm afraid they went and changed it to CifStill tastes the same though
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:41, Reply)
*dirty old man voice*You might prefer Jif, young man, but you're getting a Flash anyway...
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:41, Reply)
"Do you mind if I cizz in your hair"(I'm just going with the theme, I'm not actually posing the question to Crow as he has *consults flickr thing* a fine head of hair.)
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:57, Reply)
Well thank you, sah!And for the record, I'd rather you didn't. I only just washed it this morning.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Agree with all the abovebar Ronald Welch who I don't think I read. The Grey King by Susan Cooper was fantastic.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
Ronald Welch was fucking brilliant.His books all featured the same family but in different periods in history. Wonderful stuff*
*quite possibly bilge but they were much loved in our house
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
I still have a copy of the Susan Cooper booksThe series is fantastic - see also Alan Garner and Ursula Le Guin.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:44, Reply)
Ursula le Guin yesAlan Garner was okay but not in the same league as Susan Cooper/le Guin
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:46,
Reply)
It was really goodthough I didn't like the last book
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:50,
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The one where Tehanuchanged back in to a dragon? I did, from what I remember.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:54, Reply)
It's called Tehanu yeahpersonally for me it was awkward. It didn't fit with the world that she'd previously created.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:57,
Reply)
I'm not very discerningwhen it comes to books, films or music - I like what I like no matter how shit it is.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I like what I like...and if I like it, it's fucking brilliant, and if you don't agree, then you are a blithering idiot and thus fair game for scathing putdowns and mockery.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:00,
Reply)
Name shorteningI hate overly familiar name shortening when you have only just met someone. Specially at work.
Alt Q: Chocky or Day of the Triffids.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:45, Reply)
Oooh good choices.John Wyndham is superb.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:46,
Reply)
Although Day of the triffids is pretty much responsible for every zombie storyespecially if it involves waking up in a hospital.
I'm sure you can forgive him.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
Romero, you've done it again!(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:52,
Reply)
Lacistand so on
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:03,
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It's probably the best John Wyndham bookall the others suffer from his inability to come up with a good ending.
Apart from the Midwich Cuckoos, which is pretty good.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:49, Reply)
I re-read both this year and really enjoyed them.Science fiction but not too geeky.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I don't know whether it's a small thing or not.But when my flatmates leave the back door wide open when they pop to Tesco. It's fucking snowing outside you loons, I can't lounge around the place in my pants if the back door is open.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:54, Reply)
Alt: anything by 'The Master' as we in the Iron Maiden fanclub call TP.'TP?', you say?
I am OF COURSE talking about the TITAN OF MODERN LITERATURE, Terence 'where did I put my car keys' Pratchett, Esquire.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:55,
Reply)
Oh I know who you meanthat chap who wrote that book about that thing, umm Terry something something?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:58,
Reply)
Stupid hat wearing smug Alzheimerist and general bender Pratchett.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:02,
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I tried and tried and tried to get into the Discworld books.Couldn't do it. In fact I've decided I'm going to get the first one out of the uni library when I go over there in a bit.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:09, Reply)
If you have to 'try and try', then the author has failed, not you.I had this with Moby-Dick. It's fucking crap. That's not my fault.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:14,
Reply)
Moby Dick would be goodif the guy stuck to the fucking point.
It'd also be shorter by an order of magnitude
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:16,
Reply)
When you discover it's merely uneditedand not actually a radical new way of writing novels (ie chapters consisting purely of Melville's tedious notes on whales and whaling ships could and should have been judiciously omitted), it all starts to make sense. Someone could make a decent book out of it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:23,
Reply)
they could indeed(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:54,
Reply)
They were OK but I'm not really a fan of fantasy books.I wish I was. It would give me a whole other genre to delve into.
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girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:18,
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I wish you were too Blousie.It would make a change from zombies.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:20,
Reply)
You've got football and I have zombies.Live with it.
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girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:22,
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Hell yeah!*wiggles head from side to side in afro-caribbean manner*
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girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
the later ones of his books are much betterthe first couple of Pratchett's books are mainly satire of the genre, but as he went on and developed characters and such they got much better. The last 6 or so have been superb.
I suspect Monty is basing his dislike on the very early ones.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:20,
Reply)
'The last 6 or so have been superb'?I fear your herbal habit has eroded your taste, I'm afraid - the last 6 have been shite. I agree the very earliest ones were a little shaky and that they got better as he developed the characters, but the last decent TP was Nightwatch, which was an absolute blinder and one of my favourites. I do not like the way his writing style has changed at all.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I think he dipped for Jingo and Maskeradebut since then he's been on an upward trend. Apart from Nation, that was a little twee.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:28, Reply)
I absolutely disagreeI don't like Tiffany Aching or Moist von Lipwig, and if you read those books and then re-read something decent like Soul Music, it's painfully obvious how his writing style and wit have degraded. His new stuff is readable, but it's just not comparable to his earlier work.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:31, Reply)
I do not need to read 'Tiffany Aching or Moist von Lipwig'to tell you that you are right to dislike them. How fucking lame.
I wish he'd hurry up and forget he's a novelist.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:36,
Reply)
You are right about Nightwatchand I may have the order mixed up in my head, but all the recent Guards ones have been excellent, and despite you disliking Going Postal and Making Money they are far better written than a great deal of the earlier stuff.
Even Soul Music is showing its age now and that was my favourite one for a long time.
Monty would particularly hate that one, I have absolutely no doubt.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:53,
Reply)
I'm just not a fantasy fan. Even fantasy films don't really do it for me.I don't like crime fiction either. I couldn't get into the girl with the dragon tattoo books or the film.
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girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
So many of themare sub-Conan 'Sword of Mighty Thringorr' type shit, it's a shame is within the reams of pointless diarrhoea are some great books.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
I think I'm going to try and get a bit more into historical fiction and fact.I've dipped a toe in now and then and found it very interesting.
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girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:35,
Reply)
Have you read'Pillars of the Earth' by Ken Follett? If you haven't, you should.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:36, Reply)
I have, and I loved it. The sequel slightly less so,because it was almost unbearably grim in parts, but that is precisely my kind of reading.
I keep banging on about them, but will someone please read CJ Sansom's 'Shardlake' books and agree with me that they are brilliant?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:39,
Reply)
Ah - there's a new one of those out, isn't there?The series starts with 'Dissolution', I believe. I was flicking through it in waterstones the other day, if you think it's good then I think I shall read it.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:41, Reply)
I'm happy to post them to you.If I ever want to re-read them I'll ask for them back.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:45,
Reply)
That's very kind!If the library doesn't have them then I shall gaz you :)
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)
I quite liked 'em,but not to the same extent as you it seems. But as I've mentioned before, I can see their appeal what with the whole misanthropic East London cripple thing...
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Haha so you did.I love that you regard me to be a cripple. You of all people.
You complete cripple.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:46,
Reply)
That isa mighty fine read! The follow up is rather good too. anyway - thought this was about kids books? If we digress I should like to nominate "Weaveworld" by Clive Barker.I am on my third copy in 20 years...
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 16:07, Reply)
The best thing about the Conan books is the euphemism "they awoke with aching limbs".Because Conan doesn't get knackered carving his way through entire armies single-handed, oh no. To really get a sweat on you need to bring in some skinny bint in a loincloth.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:35, Reply)
The first ones aren't greatStart with 'Mort'
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:20,
Reply)
It won't be too long 'til Tel himself 'starts with Mort'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
on a trainThe old man who has parked his saggy liverspotted arse on the table next to mine is honking and breathing like an obscene telephone caller. It has been 15 mins since he clambered on. This is not being out of breath due to running for train. This is the next hour of my life.
Meanwhile the sloane behind me is rahrahrahing into her phone about someone with the same name as me so i keep jumping. I know it's snowing now shut up.
Both must die.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:32,
Reply)
if it's not meIt's not ok.
But i have just discovered cadbury's "make a wish" chocolate stars.... O.m.g. Chocolate star filled with aero-esque stuff.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:41,
Reply)
Every time you eat one a terminally ill flid goes to Disneyland.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:47,
Reply)
Oh I have, Rachel.That's why they're now terminally ill.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:57,
Reply)
The ancient egyptians used a special hook deviceto remove the brains of their dead pharaohs - Monty just uses his penis.
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:59, Reply)
That's far more creativethan the 'I've given them AIDS' gag I actually meant.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 16:02,
Reply)
altQ: The Weirdstone of Brisingamen by Alan GarnerA cracking read. "This is a time for high magic and low cunning."
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:32,
Reply)
That'll be the world cup going to Russia by the looks of it Lighty.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:35,
Reply)
that's all set where i live in cheshireAutomatically makes it awesome. But it is anyway, that bit when they are stuck in the mine...
I love kids' books, would like to have a crack at writing something one day.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:38,
Reply)
Yeah, the bit where they're crawling through old tunnelsthat makes me twitchily claustrophobic just reading it. *shudders*
(, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:44, Reply)
god and meIt was dark and hot and sand was everywhere and they had their heads jammed to one side inching along on fingertips because the tunnel was so tight.
I am feeling ill just remembering it!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:50,
Reply)
This could so easily win me the world strikethrough championship.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:54,
Reply)
I don't think it needs a strikethrough to be honest(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:59,
Reply)
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 16:09,
Reply)
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