Parental Sleepwalking
My dad (admittedly after a few too many glasses of red wine) arose from bed and made his way into the fitted wardrobe. My Mum woke and asked what he was doing, the reply was that he was going to the toilet.

Mum managed to point out that it was the wrong door.

So he takes a few more paces and opens up the next door of the fitted wardrobe.

"Now where the bloody-hell d'ya think you're going?"

"Down the secret corridor that no-one knows about"

I think he made it eventually without mishap
(brocky, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 0:37, Reply)

Sleep*talking* (well, it's a sedentary job)
Last year I was working in the 21st century equivalent of a 'dark satanic mill'- a call centre.

Being required to answer each call with the standardised greeting for 10.5 hours a day was evidently beginning to erode my freedom of thought - one morning my boyfriend reported that I'd 'taken a call' during the night - "Good morning, you're through to [insert name of evil mobile phone company here], can I take your full name please?..." and then managed to deal with an imaginary customer and their imaginary query.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he informed me of the incident...
(Ovaltina, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 0:37, Reply)

Sleep... Typing!?
So. picture the scene, lazy sunday dogsitting for the neighbours, i'm not complaining, free sky HD And some nice food that would have gone out of date if i'd left it.
I'm a pretty heavy sleeper once i get going. I'm also not a morning person.
For some reason i was dreaming about an MSN conversation with my mate, i can't remember what about. but as my alarm went off to welcome in the new day, in my last seconds of sleep, i reached out, physically, in front of me and touch typed 'okay, bye' into my perpetual keyboard before lucidity finally took me.

No apologies for size of morning wood.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 0:20, Reply)

Sleep Clubbing
Don't know if this was sleepwalking or some very strange illness I had that made me do this. Anyhow;

It happened about 10 years ago.
I was feeling really ill one Friday night. So at around 8pm I went to bed.
Woke sometime Saturday afternoon.
All seemed normal.

When I went into Uni on the Monday I was informed by several people that I'd been out clubbing with them on Friday night, kicked a Motorscooter-thingy over (complete with rider ...bonus points?) and was so paralytic I had to be bundled into a taxi and sent home sometime in the early hours of Saturday.

I was asleep! I hate nightclubs! I've never had a fight with anyone in my life!
I don't particularly like scooters, true, but I've never lashed out at one before!

Evil Clone? Mistaken Identity?

No.

I was told I took my jeans off in the course of the evening (as you do), and showed off my tattoo, which is not in a place I'd normally be showing to people I didn't know intimately.

I told them it couldn't have been me, and that I didn't have any tattoos down there. Somehow I don't think they believed me.
( BUTT FART is currently addicted to Improbable Island, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 0:18, Reply)

Ouch
My Dad came into my room one night, a few years back, as he could hear my screaming. I was shouting ''you don't scare me, you grey bastard!'', and kicking the fuck out of my chest of drawers. Broke 2 toes, and a metatarsal (much more stylish than Rooney's injury, right?).
It's lucky my Dad came in when he did, who knows what I would have done to that devious drawer stack.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 0:17, Reply)

Blindly into ...
I know of a british guy who managed to sleep walk out of the hotel room he was staying in .. down the corridor, down the stairs and into a meeting room which had been hired out to a society discussing the latest CCTV technolgies. Obviously, they managed to catch this on camera. A picture appeared in the local paper captioned ...

"Britain sleepwalking into surveilance society"

I'll get my coat.
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 0:00, Reply)

Sleeptalking
According to my girlfriend, my nocturnal speaking last night consisted of the words "kill, kill, kill".

What I was dreaming of I know not...
(resident deity, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:56, Reply)

Gasp o' delight!
Indeed I have several stories for this question, and I shall save the best for last.

I'll start with my mother, who is partial to falling asleep in the middle of a conversation, while still continuing it.

I was once sat on her bed as she dozed, telling her of my worries about something to do with my boyfriend, and got the wonderful advice:

"Pull his ears."

What?

"Pull his ears! To stop the elves."

As lovely as that was, I didn't try it and instead left her to sleep.

She often wakes up in the middle of the night to hold similarly nonsensical conversations with my poor unsuspecting and befuddled dad.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:54, Reply)

How about talking in one's sleep?
My ex and both of my boys (but not my daughter) have all been known to say strange things in their sleep. One of my favorites occurred in the wee hours when my then wife snapped at me, "There's a kink in the cord of the NG!"

"What?"

"There's a kink in the cord of the NG! And what about the patient in room 17?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Are we trying to run a hospital here or what?"

"No, as a matter of fact, we're trying to sleep!"

"Fine! I'll do it myself!" she snarled, and flopped over on her side.

If that's her manner at work, I'd say that her patients get better just to get away from her...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:42, Reply)

dunno if it counts
but i had a dream that my sister came into my room and set the alarm on my stereo even though i have a separate alarm clock, so when my alarm went off to wake me for college, i lept out of bed, and started unplugging everything in my room trying to silence the infernal bleeping. It took about 5 minutes of panic and confused plug-yanking before i woke up enough to figure out just to hit the snooze button.

My sister does it too though. She used to work as a barmaid at our local, and would frequently wake to find she'd been sitting on the edge of her bed, pouring invisible pints.
(serge-fabrizio taught the Talk to Frank robot to call him father, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:42, Reply)

sleepwalking
I regularly jump out of bed because of aliens in the room and when i was a teenager got up set up my hifi to record an album and then went back to bed completely oblivious.
(blackpig, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:41, Reply)

Grannies are no fun.
I cannot say i've ever really been prone to sleep walking, but for two nights when I was about 13. Basically, falling asleep in a bed and waking up next to your granny in her bed in the morning is not what i'd call a great thing to wake up to.

It wasn't even once. It was two nights. Some part of my subconcious had actually decided it wasn't enough sleeping in my granny's double bed once, but I must do it twice.

It still haunts me to this day.
(MrWorry, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:36, Reply)

My brother used to sleepwalk.
You'd put him in one bed and he'd end up with my parents by the end of the night.

When we went around the world, we went to the usa for a day to visit some second cousins. My brother had jet lag so he slept in the airport before we boarded our next flight. We didn't notice he'd gone missing until a rather obese man wandered up and said "Is this your boy?" My brother had sleep walked onto him. He must have seemed like a bed. Was about the same size.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:19, Reply)

Little Brothers...
As a child, I used to share a room with my brother. We had cabin bunks, with a desk and a cupboard underneath the bed.

One night I heard him get down and then heard the sound of liquid being sprayed onto carpet. He'd only gone and mistook the chair under his desk for the toilet.

And the best part - when I asked him what he was doing, he told me to "get out of the bathroom", then climbed back into bed.

Denied it ever happened the next day.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:13, Reply)

Mum..
My mum used to sleewalk, come and see me while sleepwalking. She was also capable of quite intelligent conversation.

Oh, and I know someone who woke up to find his mate had sleepwalked and was busy pissing into his Laundry basket. Well, that was the excuse anyway.
(Ok, I'll get me coat, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:13, Reply)

My Uncle
Apparently one day his sleepwalking took him out of the house and down the street. I think he was 9. They decided to tie a string to his foot after that.
(evil_penguin_17 Robots of Doom... Attack!, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:10, Reply)

I sleepwalked so much that I completely forgot QOTWs come out on Thursdays.

(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:06, Reply)

...
My uncle sleepwalks and has had to install a stair guard to stop him from falling down the stairs again, a bit serious but I always chuckle when I see it in his house.


My other story involves a friend who went into his little brothers room naked and pissed all over the floor, his brother woke up and started screaming which woke everyone up. His dad ran into the room and slipped and fell into the piss puddle. We are not allowed talk about it now.
(Monoball, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 23:02, Reply)

My brother once went to the bathroom
which turned out to be the closet in his room.


Me, I just speak tongues in my sleep. The lack wants me exorcised at this stage.
(AshTeamRacing, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:59, Reply)

I might have told this story before for some other QOTW but...
My brother is staying with mum and dad and wakes up one morning to hear his girlfriend and mum talking outside the bedroom door.
"Is he awake yet?" says mum, in an annoyed voice.
"No, but I'm going to get him up and show him what he did."
Apparently in the night (admittedly after a few beers) he'd got up, ignored the en suite bathroom for the guest bedroom mere yards away, walked down the landing, gone into my other brother's room, relieved himself on the bed, and then gone back to his own bed. Luckily other brother was away at university at the time.
( shavedchimp something something oranges something, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:58, Reply)

Many stories...
I've only sleep walked once and that was quite dull (I ended up falling down in my room after sitting down in my computer chair, thinking I was in my parents room and then falling over when trying to find there 'bed') However:

My cousin when she was little sleep walked into her living room where her parents were happily watching Tv and pulled her pants down before squatting. If my Uncle didnt have lightening reflexes and took her to the toilet their carpet may have smelt slightly pissy...

My uncle once 'woke up' thinking he was late for work, swearing he tried to shower before going downstairs and proceeding to brew up before properly waking up.

My friend regulary gets dressed in her sleep and try to leave the house. Her ex used to hide the door keys from her, now she hides them from herself, and often forgets where she puts them. Oh and she has night terrors about strange men standing at the foot of the bed.

But at least they dont murder/commit armed robbery in their sleep.
(purplefairy, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:46, Reply)

Not so much sleepwalking as THINKING I was
But I used to have incredibly vivid dreams whenever we visited my incredibly posh step-grand-parents.

Basically I would wake up in the middle of the night dyyyyyyyying to pee and would walk to the bathroom, sit down, and as I peed I would realise that infact I wasn't in the bathroom, infact I was still in bed having never even moved, and I'd be filled with that oh so unmistakable feeling of warmth turning to cold.

I never wet the bed at any other time in my childhood, right from being a baby, only ever there, and sometimes I would even recognise in my dream that I had made this mistake before and would make a conscious effort not to fall for it again...I'd even be 'walking' to the toilet vaguely wondering why I was still so warm :D
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:42, Reply)

Ghost in the system
At the tender age of 8, I used to sleepwalk quite a lot. So much so that I would walk into my parent's room, uphold a full conversation with them and then not being able to remember a word of it in the morning.

One night I walked downstairs, through my living room to our conservatory, turned the tv to channel 84 (before the days of Sky) and screamed that noting was on.

All of this through an alarmed hallway, living room, dining area and conservatory. When my Dad came down to see what the noise was, he had to shout me from the stairwell to come back to bed as the alarm unit was in the kitchen.

I somehow managed to pass through 3 alarmed rooms without setting them off with the alarm system fully working and functional.

Are sleeping people invisible to the world of lazers?
( Grinned2Death knows what Willis was talking about, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:37, Reply)

Night Terrors
I suffer from Night Terrors...I have in the past found myself half way down the stairs screaming before I properly wake up...I've also had a punch up with my (now) ex all because he was trying to stop me from jumping out of bed and attacking the curtains...

And then there are the strange figures who come and stand either at the side of the bed or the end of the bed and never say a word...When the film The Sixth Sense came out I was astonished - so much of it was exactly the sort of thing I experience but I don't believe they're dead people - although I did have a doctor ask me if I thought they were...No! They're figments of my overactive imagination...I think...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:36, Reply)

Sleepwalking?
When I was a -wee- little kid, I had a wee while sleeping.

In the fridge after walking down a flight of stairs and going to the kitchen.

Come to think of it, lunch the next day tasted kind of funny.

Even then, I had complaints about length.
(I like you much more than this telephone pole. But not as much as this frying pan., Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:36, Reply)

When I was about 5...
I woke up stood at the top of the stairs, outside my mum's bedroom, just after leaving a juicy curler on the carpet. Even worse, it was winter and therefore FREEZING cold in my house, transferring my "curler" into a "steamer" as soon as the light was turned on!

Also woke up emptying my bladder down said stairs, outside said room!
(r2b2 has ear cataracts?!?, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:35, Reply)

My brother
Once started walking around in the night, walks down stairs, into the living room, turns the light on, walks back upstairs, lies down, wakes up for school, goes downstairs, wondering why the light is on...
(annhialus hasn't had an accident since, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:25, Reply)

I once slept through a whole day...
And I thought that a QoTW was posted on a Wednesday.

...Oh...
( B.T., Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:24, Reply)

mate
My mate was once found pissing in a birdbath in his front garden by his mum, fast asleep 4am in the morning wearing just his boxer shorts

Woo first and all that malarky :)
(brocky, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:23, Reply)