To a (former) Stranger
I lost mine to someone I had met only a week before. One night I end up in this girl's dorm along with the girl and one of her friends. We are talking and telling dirty jokes; essentially, having a good time. Somehow, I came up with a way to take my shirt off that didn't get me kicked out and the friend leaves soonafter. We're both naked on her bed, ready to do it, when I find out there's a catch (fortunately, this didn't happen again). She won't let me go all the way and come inside her. Not wanting to press my luck, I quickly agreed and we got down to to it .
After that, we started to hang out more and had a very confusing unofficial relationship that lasted a few months (honestly, I'm glad it's over; right now we're better off seeing less of each other).
As for the sex part, I really can't remember how many times we did it after that, I stopped counting at about 12.
What did I take away from this experience? A better understanding of relationships, female anatomy, and how much I love sex.
(lothric, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 20:53, Reply)

I'm going to be honest (unlike most of you cunts)
I lost it to my hand! That's right, I love wanking! IT'S GREAT!!!

I lost my bum virginity to... wait, that's still intact... because I'm not a bummer, see.

...Although I wouldn't say no to a hot strap-on bearing lady... but she'd have to be really hot... and offer me real sex in return... Yeah!!!
(Keiths Dad, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 20:45, Reply)

Mardi Gras Madness
I was 18 and had been drinking for a week due to the week-long campus Mardi Gras that my Catholic college put on. I was costumed up in a country and western thing, wearing a borrowed $600 cowboy hat (a prince's ransom to me at the time), and had been riding on my sorority's float. I dropped by a friend's dorm room for a mid-afternoon nap before the evening's festivities, as I had been hitting the sauce that day since 9 a.m. Instead of a nap, I had a lovely shag. I'll never forget what he said afterward: "From here on out, it's all fun and games"

He was so right.
(dlloft, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 20:36, Reply)

"Might as well"
I was 19, she just turned 17, my bed, parents on holiday, heavy petting, kissing etc.

I finally plucked up the courage to ask to make love to her (was madly in love at the time) and her reply?

"Might as well"

That sort of pissed on the erotic flame!

It happened, first shot was early *cue embarressment and lots of kissing from her to put me back on track* after that it was an all nighter, her enjoying it several times before my second fire!

Oh and then the next morning, twice :)

(oh the memories)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 20:33, Reply)

I lost it to . . .
A ginger girl






(the shame)
(Tetsugaku-San www.thetalldesigner.com, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 20:00, Reply)

15 wanted it over and done with
her 17

got her round my parents house (after convincing them to bugger off for the night)

pretnded i'd cooked a nice meal (all from local take-away)

did it twice

put her in a cab 10 mins after finished & dumped her 2 days later

total length of relationship 4 days
total time she hasn't spoken to me (so far) 7 & a half yrs
(v_Ln, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 19:25, Reply)

Condoms, condoms and more condoms.
Hmmm. I was 20. She was 16. I was about to leave home after finishing Uni to live 200 miles away. Lovely summer's day, in my bed. She was worried about getting pregnant, so I slipped on a condom. And then "what if it breaks, can you put another on?". And a third.

Doing the dirty with three layers of latex between the old fellow and her lovely wet virginal virgina meant I felt bugger all. After ten or fifteen minutes, she had got off, and was now getting sore. I could still feel nothing.
(Maclir, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:50, Reply)

From stud to crud
Turned up to university a wide-eyed fresher who basically knew very little about women - especially in the downstairs department. Things were about to change though as I had struck gold within the first few days.

Within halls, I had met a gorgeous girl in my corridor and on a night out she was fondling my leg under the table. I managed to play it cool, but inside I was jumpier than a kangaroo with ADHD. (She was wearing high heeled boots at the time - so hot. Let's just say I had more than a semi-on at the time.)

As the night progressed, all I could think about was "Is this it?", and that question scared the bejeesus out of me. By the end of the night we were in my room and things were going well, too well perhaps, because we didn't do it at all but just spent most of the night talking, kissing and doing other stuff.

"mmm...Anti-climax" I hear you say.

No my friend, because I knew that we were going out the next evening and this time I was definitely going to "seal the deal" as it were.
So, in preparation, I decided that in order to avoid the 'pump, pump, squirt' scenario, I was going to fwap off as much as I could beforehand.

Turned out to be an awesome decision as I pumped away like a true porn star, lasting for ages, but not too long, and more importantly she had no idea about my 'V' status. She loved it, since it led to a series of awesome sex sessions that evening, week, month and indeed the rest of the year. I was truely a stud (in my own eyes, obviously. And perhaps hers!)

"Why stud to crud then?" I hear you murmur.

Well my man, let's fast-forward five years on, to just over a week ago. Similar scenario, met a girl previously, got on well but didn't "seal the deal" due to general pissedness, smell of sick on breath and beer stains on clothes. For some bizarre reason she seemed to love it. Anyway, a week passed and several text messages later, I knew in advance that said girl is going to be at a certain nightspot that shall remain unnamed. Did I use my previous studly knowledge regards to fwapping beforehand, not getting too pissed and in general acting cool and confident?

Did I fuck.

I got absolutely mullered; so mullered that it probably ranks in my top ten of all time mulleredness. Puked beforehand. (Thank God for chewing-gum.) Acted like a total twat, but still the daft fool wanted to come back with me.

Lets just say my performance puts the whole of mankind to shame. No excuses. I was just shite.

Still, I came in her mouth. Not all bad!

And the moral of the story? Well none really. Even after my complete rubbishness in the sack, she still wants to see me again.

There's one born every second.
(Roy Horn, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:41, Reply)

Not me, but Adam Rickitt
When I was about 16, and working as a waitress in a chain hotel/restaurant, the regional manager of the chain, from Manchester (who was gayer than Dale Winton's Sunday frock) claimed that he took Adam Rickitt's virginity, when he was based in Manchester, filming Coronation Street. I am informed that he is both gives and recieves gay love. But he had to keep it quiet 'cos he was thinking of starting a pop career.

Er, and if anyone from ITV is reading this, insert the word 'alledgedly' everywhere.
(b3tasux, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:37, Reply)

Keep quiet, dammit!
19. At a party. To my best mates girlfriend. He was in the other room with a couple of other friends. They heard everything. Apparently there was deathly silence in the room and worried glances were exchanged while i bumped and grinded my way to manhood and she squealed incessantly, fully audible through the thin walls.

She was rank as well, but I felt I needed to practice on somebody I didnt give a shit about just to iron out the kinks... and to this day me and my mate are still friends, she managed to persuade him they were never really going out in first place, and when the "sex buddies" premise we were operating under soured (she got too clingy) we blamed the entire thing on her and were united in mutual dislike of the slut!

I feel pretty bad about it though. Sorry mate :(

Apologies for length, girth and viscosity of discharge.
(weirzbowski, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:23, Reply)

I was fantastic.
She was beautiful.



Ingrid, a horny au pair from the wonderful land of Sweden.
( wangmaster2000, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:21, Reply)

wait...
I'll let you know when I have.

*grumble grumble* what's the point of being fucking bisexual anyway *whinge whinge*

I'm 23

And I went to University. You're supposed to have lots of sex there. LIES!!
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:16, Reply)

he shagd my best friend after
my bed, 14 years old (not too young, i loved him), dad upstairs in bath, he was listning to the streets, we were listening to texas, something wrong about that me thinks, blood on the sheets but was lovely, and just got better the next two times we did it that afternoon.

what made it slightly less lovely was him shagging my best friend the next day.
(blondenbunny, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:13, Reply)

Hastings WestHill
I was 17. She was a Gorgeous girl from Finland here for 2 weeks to learn English. Hello Heidi.
She went home. I went back down Hastings pier to pick a up a girl from Sweden. "hello erm?"
How I miss those students.
(waxdart hello., Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:12, Reply)

Not mine but hers...
Popped this bird's cherry when I was in the middle east, and got her up the spout. They're a bit conservative round there, so when she started to show, she kept claiming she was a virgin, despite the very obvious evidence to the contrary.

Next thing you know, her new kid's being hailed as some great superhero or something.

All ended a bit unpleasantly when he got nailed to a tree, though.
( String Theory sometimes feeds the sparrows too, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 18:03, Reply)

Well...
...bottle of Morgans and 8 beers later, complimented on how I actually knew what I was doing, 4 times later I was very happy. So happy......
.
.
.
.
.
I married her eight months later!!

/Good Boy, only one for me
( diablo290582 Professional.....something., Fri 4 Mar 2005, 17:47, Reply)

whoah lordy,
I lost my virginity in a church. To make matters worse, it was the same church as the one I got married in, some 18 years later.
Actually, if we're gonna split hairs, it was the hall adjoining the church.
When me and mrs lordoftinyflies went to see the vicar to discuss all the pre-nup stuff he took us to the church hall.
I spent the whole meeting nudging my wife-to-be whenever the vicar's back was turned, and whispering things like "it was over there, on the floor under that window."
edit: here's a link to a lovely watercolour of said church.
www.findachurch.co.uk/churches/nz/nz26/stgeorge/
(skotty lord of tiny flies, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 17:42, Reply)

Pretty much perfect
I never even kissed a girl till I was 18 due to terminal shyness, anorexic weediness and being hideously pizza faced. Roaccutane (that stuff is a godsend) and joining the army meant that 6 months later I was six foot, six packed, 200lb and baby smooth skinned. This improved the odds a bit as when I was home on leave I felt a tap on my shoulder 'I've never seen you in here before' and all of a sudden its snog central. Three hours later its off home with a smile to go back to base where opportunities for further shennanigans were severely curtailed. The result was a full blown infatuation. Given that I had not seen a boob I was not related to, the promise that when we next saw each other could mean racing through years of teenage groping and get right up to the main event - all in the course of days, hours or even minutes - became a bit of an obsession.
I had a formal do coming up and I needed a date. So I booked a plane ticket and a room in the finest hotel Canberra had to offer. She came, looked lovely and the night went swimmingly.

Only one problem.

I was not allowed off base on Friday night. So with a bulge in my pants I sent her off to the king sized bed in the five star room all alone. Rats.

Morning and that was me out of there like greased lightning with a twelve pack of condoms and my heart in my mouth. I knocked on the room door to be greeted with her wearing one of those wispy bits of nothing. No kiss, nothing just those wonderful words 'Come to bed' and the sight of the almost nothing turning to totally, wonderfully naked before my eyes.
I knew exactly what to do, and exactly where to find every single bit of a woman. I had wanted to make sure that when the opportunity turned up I was ready. I had nicked and read all my sisters magazines, I had paid very close attention in sex ed, the location of the clitoris was burned in my mind, I knew three sure fire ways to find the g-spot. I was theory up to the eyeballs. Here was practice!
Shaking like a leaf started at the foot of the bed and worked my way quite quickly up the bed till I found what I was looking for (yes, I went down on a woman before I ever felt a boobie). Turns out she had other ideas, and two minutes later we were down to 11 condoms and I had a massive grin on my face.
26 hours later, we had to stop. We were out of condoms. We were both in physical pain, and we had christened the shower, the bath, the floor, the sofa, the balcony, the lawn looking down over lake Burley Griffin and done it in every position we could think of. And every last minute of it was utterly fantastic.

I put her on the plane home and never saw her again.......
(I am the infinite monkey!, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 17:31, Reply)

Ouch
18th Birthday. Lovely balmy summers evening. Beautiful sunset. At the top of a hill looking over the wonderful town that I live in. Best cherry popping I could have imagined. Sounds wonderful but...

Afterwards I got absolutely bladdered, got threatened with being cling filmed to a lamp post and decided to try and scissor kick my way out of things.

I fell sideways after the kick, landed on my side, broke my collar bone, fractured my hip and knocked myself out for 10 minutes.

All the pain didn't matter though. I was now a man!!!
(mrdiddle, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 17:29, Reply)

On a farm in South Wales
There was no-one about, only me and ewe
(tree hugger putting the "semen" in "basement"..., Fri 4 Mar 2005, 17:24, Reply)

Mine wasn't too bad, as I recall.
Her bedroom floor. Sober. All went well. At least, she didn't say anything was wrong. I did ask her about a billion times "Is this ok?", "Was that ok?", "Are you ok?". She seemed to be ok, generally.

And another time I was with this other girl in my Dad's bed - him and his bird were away. We're getting down to it, and at the point of almost penetration, she tells me it's her first time. Cue me pounding away furiously. Cue her whimpering. Cue me putting my dad's hymen-blood soaked sheets in the washing machine and leaving it for him to do. Does that make me a bad person? I broke up with her about a week later. That, I know, makes me a bad person. But then, she was an ginger.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 17:09, Reply)

lucky
16, gorgeous older boyfriend i had been with for 3 months. not painful, not drunk, in my bed, enjoyable, did it 4 times in 1 night, came every time and continued to for the next 3 yrs.


hmm. why did i break up with him again?
( eponymous Oh!, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 16:59, Reply)

Moleste - Joe Merchandise
I am none the wiser but thanks for your kind response.

I'm off home now byeeee
(Mad McMad, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 16:45, Reply)

It was the accent
Coming to the end of first year in Uni, met a girl from the North of Ireland, already had a kid I didnt know about (not that it would bother a horny 18 year old). She comes back to the house after a few drinks one night and we shag for ages, i dont cum of course being anxious or frustrated or i dont know the fock what. anyway 4 years and 11 girls later all is well. turns out she was already pregnant at the time, some sexy accent though

yum yum they love cum but i have yet to lose my brown wings (tear on cheek)
(Trivia King, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 16:33, Reply)

molest
molest
moleste
molestest
molester
molesting
molestger
molestgy bear
give me a big molest
h u g
(joe_merchandise, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 16:27, Reply)

Moleste
I think I must have missed something, or maybe I am too old to be down with the kids, but wtf does "moleste" mean? Is it a filter?? For what?
(Mad McMad, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 16:16, Reply)

can't bloody remember
sooooo long ago
very old b3tan
( Dill, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 16:07, Reply)

Blood, so much blood!
My first time and her first time:

In her parents lounge while the family was upstairs on a saturday afternoon. Things came to a sudden end when the blood started to flow, and it didn't stop for two days :S

Two girl friends down the line:

I met her at a friends house party and both being drunk thought it was a great idea to shag on my friends parents bed, light off! Wee early hours I went down stairs in my boxers to get a drink and bumped into a friend who actually screamed, as my eyes adjusted to the light I suddenly realised I was covered in dried blood! ALL UP MY ARMS, CHEST, LEGS, COVERED!!!! ran back up stairs and cracked the light on, lets just say we had to throw the sheets out! My friend is still really pissed off 8 yrs later, oh well!
(Yo mamma, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 16:00, Reply)

pron is educational
New years eve 1987. On holiday with some friends.

Picked up the bar maid with the class line "nice jugs".

Back at her place, negotiated past her violent drug fucked protective brother.

Lost V plates, was complimented and disbelieved when I revealed my lack of experience (thanks pron).

Had no idea where I was. Fortunately it was a very small town and I eventually found my way back to my mates place.

Probably just as well I had not seen "Piss, fist and anal spectacular" at that early stage though.
(testdummy, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 15:30, Reply)

Aged 19
to a girl I cared very much about, in my bed, completely sober. Well, sober very quickly when I realised I'd left the webcam to my great aunt on.
(The Secret 7000 ...join us. www.secret7000.co.uk, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 15:29, Reply)