better morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 7:50, archived)

morning, better

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 7:54, archived)

good morning b3-etnam

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 7:55, archived)

Oh I loved him in that film
The Fisherprice King
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 8:58, archived)

I can tell by looking at it

( mongychops, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 7:55, archived)

just not in the mood for this week
fed up
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 7:58, archived)

It's almost like you and Windy
have synchronised periods.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 8:14, archived)

Better than being on holiday
imgur.com/Pjfwpq3
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 8:13, archived)

delightful

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 8:22, archived)

hiya

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 Jul 2021, 8:37, archived)

yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 8:41, archived)

Make morning great again

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:21, archived)

stop the steal, m8
seen this year's Record Store Day releases? Nothing exciting for me this year

I did get a 45 of The Dave Pike Set's 'Mathar' last week though, audiophile remaster, it sounds great
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:39, archived)

nah, I never look, the whole thing annoys me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:47, archived)

B3ta, you mean

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:56, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8306195
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 11:36, archived)

MMGA
Hanson's post-stroke comeback
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 10:11, archived)

cor I'd come on the fit bird out of Hanson's back post-stroking!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 11:38, archived)

Alan+
back
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 11:42, archived)

Alright Brian Molko

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:41, archived)

my mate Richard bullied him at a party until he cried
/ac
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:45, archived)

"your mate" Richard, eh?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:49, archived)

that wasn't me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 9:50, archived)

lli mm
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 10:53, archived)

cr d
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 11:44, archived)

alright Michael Barrymore

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 12:05, archived)

not bad thanks m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 12:09, archived)

Owight at da back!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 14:00, archived)

Proper lol!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 14:00, archived)

and then, right, he spies the cookbook!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 Jul 2021, 10:09, archived)

It is indeed

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 10:16, archived)

good good

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 11:09, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 Jul 2021, 7:37, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 19:24, archived)

May have to babysit my nephew next week
bugger's been sent home to isolate as one of his classmates has +rona'd. Last week it was the same thing with some of the kids in Liverpool, there was only one bubble still going into the whole school. It's fucking rife out there.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 19:50, archived)

how do I unsubscribe from your blog?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 20:08, archived)

It’s as simple as fuck off

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 20:09, archived)

I come here with the intention of escaping the tedium of a dull life mate, I don't need to hear about someone else's.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 20:47, archived)

You won’t escape your dull life here, you keep bringing it with you.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 20:53, archived)

:'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 20:57, archived)

Only one bubble still going into the whole school, what does that mean?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 20:09, archived)

I previously read an article with a similar phrasing and at first I thought they were banning bubble tea from schools in Britain

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 21:51, archived)

You know what
I’m not entirely sure.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 22:28, archived)

The twins were off today as the sports day was cancelled
They've been sent home to isolate 3 times since they went back
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 21:31, archived)

Sounds personal

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 22:28, archived)

Yep
Getting shitfaced and watching zombie films
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 21:29, archived)

Top tip: if there's a power cut and you still want to watch zombie films, get really shitfaced and stare at a mirror.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 23:01, archived)

Places to avoid during a zombie holocaust
Churches
Hospitals
Shopping malls
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 23:24, archived)

yeah, s'pose

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 23:02, archived)

afternoon
cheers…dribble
(mosca espanola 🇪🇸🪰, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:23, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:38, archived)

cheers

(mosca espanola 🇪🇸🪰, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:50, archived)

salty

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:56, archived)

$$

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 14:02, archived)

afternoon

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:39, archived)

afternoon

(mosca espanola 🇪🇸🪰, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:50, archived)

It's July and I'm wearing a jumper because it's cold
and I'm about to switch on the lights because it's dark. This is just plain silly.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:44, archived)

No you’re silly

(mosca espanola 🇪🇸🪰, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:44, archived)

You've got a point.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 13:51, archived)

I think it's a kind of racism

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 15:52, archived)

Why do you say that?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 17:14, archived)

he's just been for a footrace, and the weather discriminated against him
racism
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 17:17, archived)

And why do you say that?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 22:48, archived)

Seems like some people can't explain why they're anti-anti-racism.
Thinking is hard for some.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 7 Jul 2021, 13:20, archived)

Jesus, where do you live, the Arctic circle?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 14:47, archived)

I expect it's pretty bright in the Arctic circle at this time of year.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 Jul 2021, 15:35, archived)

I just went out for a run
the last 10 minutes there was a howling gale and sheets of rain - fucking hell, this is not nice. I need a nice cup of tea now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 15:51, archived)

+ rum
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 16:26, archived)

Must admit, it hammered it down over here earlier
Still pretty warm mind
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 16:33, archived)

looks like rain here, too
fucking off home before i get caught in it
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 16:35, archived)

It has warmed up somewhat
but still shitty out there.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 16:52, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 14:02, archived)

Cheers
Cheers
(mosca espanola 🇪🇸🪰, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 14:26, archived)

good afternoon
quiet today
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 15:24, archived)

afternoon
laptop is almost dead, but i can't complain, i've had it for about 10 years and treated it like shit
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 16:20, archived)

morning
soz, i was miserable
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:01, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:13, archived)

how is it?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:17, archived)

Wet and windy

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:32, archived)

haha, 'nanu nanu' oh man, I love Kenneth Williams!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:50, archived)

He was so good in Little Britain

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 9:06, archived)

Completely understandable
Lots to be miserable about these days. I still love you though
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:18, archived)

the apprentice being positive for covid dropped me in to 10 days isolation,
so my holiday to yorkshire i had been looking forward to since like christmas was cancelled and it made me hyper-sad.

on the up side, i have tried a lot of new beers this last week,
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:38, archived)

Dang
I haven't been on holiday in two years now. Actually, I haven't done much of anything in two years.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 9:59, archived)

same

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:19, archived)

I was in Portsmouth briefly yesterday and thought of you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:20, archived)

I'm sorry to hear that.
We're here for you if you want to talk about it.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:26, archived)

Ah ok
I'm in Fareham now, but it's nice to be thought of x
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:29, archived)

Fareham is like, not far though, and probs a bit nicer
I have a vague memory of an awful sports bar right by Fareham station that used to do Heavy Metal karaoke on a sunday night for some reason
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:33, archived)

Yes!
I don't think it's there anymore. I'd forgotten all about that place
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 11:23, archived)

Fareham's alright
The bit I live in is pretty quiet, which suits me
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 11:24, archived)

Aww, what a bugger, sorry to hear that.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:09, archived)

Hugz

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:20, archived)

my speed triple is delivered today, that will cheer me up

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:39, archived)

what, wait, I thought you bought that weeks ago?
I didn't think there was delayed gratification in the world of big bikes? It's ALL and NOW!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 9:05, archived)

It needed a new sprag clutch and the world is on fire so getting one took a while.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 9:19, archived)

u ok hun

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:28, archived)

of all the people i would want sympathy from, you are the last

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:39, archived)

CHARMING

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:43, archived)

hullo m8-o
hope you're feeling a bit better now
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:43, archived)

Much better, did spend the week pissed though.
Did some drunk gardening too
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 8:59, archived)

Have you ever showered drunk?
It's a singularly unique experience
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 9:59, archived)

I have, im a big shower beer fan on a hangover too.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:20, archived)

hi
I've been really happy, if that helps at all
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 9:31, archived)

I'm glad there is a balance in the world.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 9:58, archived)

want to hug it out with me?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:23, archived)

only if we can be nude

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:33, archived)

I insist on it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 12:33, archived)

Sorry to hear that.
I initially read that as "moz", which prompted me to google Morrissey, and apparently he's continuing to be an absolute cunt. So if it's any consolation, at least you're not him.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:06, archived)

I bet he loves a bit of social distancing.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:21, archived)

Distance is a concept designed to increase the unnecessary suffering of innocent animals, made by immigrants.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 16:06, archived)

Apparently it’s part of Sharia law, I imagine.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 16:07, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:39, archived)

alright,
how are you? got any fishing in now the season is in full swing?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 10:44, archived)

Not bad , I've done a couple of nights, want the weather to pick up really

( mongychops, Tue 6 Jul 2021, 11:04, archived)

yeah, been a bit drizzly and grim so far
maybe a heatwve will hit
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 11:40, archived)

I'm in Devon part 2.
I saw 2 ducks.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 23:16, archived)

ok

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 23:16, archived)

Yeah, alright mate. Don't fucking start.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 23:50, archived)

kill yourself.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 Jul 2021, 0:34, archived)

Hiya!
twitter.com/noncefinance?s=0
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 14:09, archived)

oh dear

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 14:24, archived)

“This essentially makes NFTs to fractionalised holdings and back a revolving door. Groups can come together to back a single artist and eventually sell it to a single buyer/curator for display!“
With “nonce” written on it.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 14:58, archived)

Arriving this afternoon :) The local delivery service was having an Independence Day sale. They’re both lower mid-level thc but that’s fine, I have some work coming up and these are a perfect accompaniment.
www.leafly.com/strains/gsc
www.leafly.com/strains/black-diamond
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:36, archived)

I used to suspect I’d wasted my life, but then I realized it wasn’t worth shit anyway.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:47, archived)

Links dint work for me

( mongychops, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:52, archived)

I wonder if it’s location dependent?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 16:02, archived)

they worked for me

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 16:13, archived)

I reckon they're hiding in plain sight there

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:06, archived)

NFT = nonces fuck toddlers

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:09, archived)

Someone on /board was trying to sell all his old gifs as NFTs for thousands of pounds, just saying

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:36, archived)

-thousands of pounds +tiny fractions of Bitcoin

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:41, archived)

I did say "trying"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:57, archived)

The jedi ones? Those were lol

( mongychops, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:51, archived)

if only

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 16:24, archived)

Ohai

( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 15:09, archived)

Morning chilblains

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 8:24, archived)

Not 'ere in t'naaarth

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 8:29, archived)

Well here in London it's sunny but cool
it's proper nice to be back. I'd very much like to do the Trans-Pennine again, but I'd need to put some more grave-biased tyres on the bike.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 8:37, archived)

lol trans

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:04, archived)

ecky thump

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 8:31, archived)

www.martialartsplanet.com/threads/the-ultimate-martial-art-ecky-thump.97370/
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 8:38, archived)

urgh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:01, archived)

The chip/beer-heavy diet of the last week has shown up on the scales

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:33, archived)

I am fancying my pigeons as I type

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:05, archived)

Nice breast?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:33, archived)

It’s a roller

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 13:43, archived)

Morning from the glorious North

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:08, archived)

ever been to that Only Fools & Horses-themed bar in Harrogate?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:26, archived)

I have not

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:36, archived)

neither have I, anecdotes not my forte etc

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:39, archived)

does it have a bar that lifts up at random intervals so you can fall through it?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:56, archived)

dunno, ent been in

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:56, archived)

it looks a bit 'working class'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:56, archived)

so, authentic, then

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 10:00, archived)

tripadvisor reviews are damning with faint praise

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 10:05, archived)

ladles and jellyspoons roffle

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:28, archived)

I have no idea what you're on about

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:34, archived)

course not
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 11:41, archived)

so this is what Queef was doing this weekend
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-57705786
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 11:50, archived)

so the brother that asked to not be named
is called Yosef?
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 19:25, archived)

I'm at soft play again, sans comedown this time.
There's a boy here, probably about 18 months old, in a Run DMC T-shirt. Frankly I'm impressed, I mean I don't think I'd even heard of them at that age.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 4 Jul 2021, 11:14, archived)

Oh brave and mighty Mr. Tea, from nine o’clock to ten thirty, after a night without MDMA, hanging about where the kiddies play
(remix of last week’s epic poem)
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 15:23, archived)

This is like Beowulf or something!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 4 Jul 2021, 16:57, archived)

Hold up, soft play, isn’t that a sex thing?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 15:25, archived)

It's like Coldplay, but even more damp and limp.
Snow Patrol, that sort of thing.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 15:32, archived)

That really is disgusting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 15:45, archived)

My other half's family think it's bizarre that I don't like Ed Sheeran, Snow Patrol etc.
like it's somehow compulsory for everyone in the world to have the same taste in dreary shite music.

At a family gathering last weekend, her step-brother was telling me (again) about how the Foo Fighters are his all-time favourite band, and he's seen them loads of times. Still, later on that evening he started telling people at his side of the room about how the Jews control everything and George Soros is personally funding the BLM protests, so to be honest I think I'd rather he keeps talking to me about the Foo Fighters.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 17:54, archived)

that was me m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 Jul 2021, 19:01, archived)

It can be awkward when someone whose taste you admire turns out to have shit politics,
or when someone who's ideologically sound has embarrassing taste.

OTOH, when someone both loves shit music, films etc. and is a fucking bigoted moron, it's somehow very satisfying.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 4 Jul 2021, 19:17, archived)

Yes.
My stupid neighbour has an unattractive wife, a shit car with a personalised numberplate, a truly disgusting dog, wears dreadful clothes and for the past few weeks has employed builders to make his house look rubbish.
The other day he was in the garden and bellowed "Alexa, play Bastille" and I nodded to myself.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 19:48, archived)

Bastille are bent shit for gay cunts, just sayin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 Jul 2021, 20:18, archived)

Never heard of them, but I just looked them and they look well fucking bent.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 4 Jul 2021, 20:38, archived)

they are really fucking appallingly shit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 Jul 2021, 20:53, archived)

Yes, and it's exactly the sort of music I'd expect him to like.
He's thoroughly awful.
Works as a chiropractor and when I googled him there was an article about him charging people thousands of pounds to fix their joint pains using magnetic resonance therapy.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 21:12, archived)

a chiropractor here managed to kill an old bloke by breaking his neck, true story

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 Jul 2021, 21:44, archived)

reak urn
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 22:06, archived)

He didn't like it. :(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 4 Jul 2021, 22:19, archived)

I dunno, not when they're family and therefore you are obliged not to tell them to fuck off.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 8:19, archived)

I seem to remember liking 'Spitting Games' for a bit.
Although at the time my taste in music was mainly influenced by whatever was getting played most on Kerrang!.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 19:42, archived)

I saw Foo Fighters live once at a festival.
Every song was stretched out to 10 minutes, with each performer having a solo, and Dave getting the crowd to do a call-and-response bit. Every fucking song. Inbetween songs, Dave regaled us with such witty repartee as downing a can of beer and then belching into the microphone, then soaking up the applause. I hung around until they played Everlong, then fucked off.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 8:21, archived)

his band are shit and his fans are utter cunts

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:06, archived)

Do you not like the Foo Fighters then? You haven't mentioned it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 Jul 2021, 9:49, archived)

oh, you know, they're alright I suppose

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jul 2021, 11:24, archived)

Next trip north
Will take in Manchester, Penrith and Galloway (the area not the “politician”) when we look up friends who have done better in life
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:12, archived)

^ It's Grim Up North London

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:22, archived)

I consider Finchley uncivilised

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:24, archived)

Are you in the north then? You haven't mentioned it

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:29, archived)

I miss Manchester sometimes

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:37, archived)

You in the Luftwaffe?

(Martin Anus, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:44, archived)

Nein.
I used to live in that area.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:48, archived)

I wonder which part of the world James Martin is from?
He never mentions it.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:44, archived)

Why would anyone live in the north
Out of choice? Also fuck football. Can I go home now please.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 20:23, archived)

pints are cheap

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 20:37, archived)

Depends where you drink

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:09, archived)

tip: drink in the north

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:17, archived)

^

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 22:30, archived)

The cities are mostly nice
and some areas near the coast barely have any slime mould.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:10, archived)

0-3
It's coming home
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:11, archived)

Four now.
My god, this is a proper dry bumming.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:23, archived)

God bless those brave overpaid English future rapists.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:31, archived)

It's cumming herm, it's cumming herm it's cumming.
Futballs cumming herm
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:30, archived)

Cos it's infinitely cheaper?

( Frisbee OG wanker, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 21:29, archived)

selling my northern house to some dude who lives in London, likes the money, but hates everything else about it
An identical house in London is 600 grand, he and I agreed that that is a hilarious pisstake.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 22:21, archived)

Oh. Em. Gee.

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 22:22, archived)

Hiyaa

( Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 6:48, archived)

so we don't share a city with you
plus, the north west is exceptionally awful, maybe choose your holidays a bit better eh.

Bootle and Runcorn? What kind of bent spastic actually opts in to visiting those places?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 22:18, archived)

Trip entirely based around bringing cheer to poor friends
Who have failed in life and had to move north.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 9:09, archived)

Football is shit
But I was born and raised in the North West and would only move if I had the money to relocate to Dorset
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 22:30, archived)

Sun shines on the righteous
There
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 15:45, archived)

One of A-ha's lesser known tracks.

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 16:30, archived)

Is it?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 17:12, archived)

Are you really questioning dj rich? Ffs sake this forum

( mongychops, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 17:32, archived)

Alright Dave

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 17:34, archived)

alright rich

( mongychops, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 18:28, archived)

yeah it isn't though, is it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 17:13, archived)

wevs

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 17:33, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 18:53, archived)

I assume all their tracks other than Take On Me count as their lesser-known tracks.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jul 2021, 19:42, archived)

you have a point

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 19:50, archived)

Yes, their “best of” album must be interesting.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 4:13, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 8:14, archived)

I suppose this is technically accurate.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jul 2021, 10:11, archived)

alright Tea, what's your favourite fungus of the order Olpidiales?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 10:15, archived)

oh do be quiet

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 10:59, archived)

ringworm
not what you asked but it's the same kingdom
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 11:50, archived)

Not really my department, m8.
You could gaz mongychops, he knows about that sort of thing.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jul 2021, 11:53, archived)

soz mate, I made a gauche mistake, apologies for disturbing your weekend.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 12:11, archived)

That's OK mVIII.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jul 2021, 12:32, archived)

but if you had a gun to your head and had to choose, which would it be?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 12:34, archived)

The one growing a crust on your manky nob, m(2^3).

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jul 2021, 15:34, archived)

Classic!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 16:46, archived)

morning
pasta dough made, massive booze run completed, might have a lager
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 11:01, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8305980
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 11:11, archived)

LICK MY PISSHOLE
sorry, I mean morning
( broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 11:13, archived)

SIEG HEIL!
Oh, wait, I meant morning, soz.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 11:16, archived)

one was enough for me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 12:06, archived)

Morning, I'm in Devon and it's been quite wet.

For more exciting updates listen to my podcast 'I'm in Devon, why don't you care?'
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 12:25, archived)

hi, ocsp, please messily commit suicide, thanks

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jul 2021, 12:32, archived)

Am in Devon also. Can confirm sogginess.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jul 2021, 12:33, archived)

Afternoon, I'm in Surrey, was in Berkshire earlier, both of them are dry, will report back if that changes.

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 13:43, archived)

Bootle is a fucking dump
We’ve gone from a Runcorn to Bootle today. I never want to see the north ever again.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 19:48, archived)

planning on swinging by York to see BPD Posse?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 20:08, archived)

This holiday has time to get worse

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 20:11, archived)

you're on the wrong coast is why

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 20:23, archived)

Yeah. Oh to be in Hull

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 20:41, archived)

Merseyside is a fucking hole

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 20:29, archived)

It’s a grim place

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 20:41, archived)

sosig

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 20:32, archived)

Bottle is a fucking receptacle

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 2:51, archived)

Also: growler

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 2:51, archived)

Bootle is, indeed, a fucking dump
I live about 10 minutes from there
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 9:40, archived)

One of those is my home town.

(mosca espanola 🇪🇸🪰, Sun 4 Jul 2021, 2:45, archived)

Heyyyyy *Fonzie double thumbs*
Alright chutney's, soon be 'teh weekend', up to much? I'm on the megalash 2moz, can't wait. I will watch 'the game' no doubt (or am I supposed to say 'the match'? I dinnae ken lol). Sunday will be spent sobbing in a darkened room I expect.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:08, archived)

I agree, that thread was going nowhere

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:09, archived)

I've made slow cooked ox cheek ragu ready for tomorrow

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:16, archived)

I love cheek
Not enough people realise how good it is. Heart too.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:35, archived)

yup
for fans of US bbq with small households cheeks make a great substitute for brisket and cook in a fraction of the time. And don't cost £60+.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:42, archived)

Lamb hearts are delicious

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 12:43, archived)

... Well, you'll ADORE https://www.b3ta.com/talk then!!!!!
lol
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 12:44, archived)

Haha
What do I look like? A fucking cunt??
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 13:05, archived)

Yes.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 13:18, archived)

Rude

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:16, archived)

"/talk: plenty of cheek, but a lotta heart'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:29, archived)

It's offally good

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 22:27, archived)

Why?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 2:52, archived)

Tomorrow I am getting my second jab
Sunday I am seeing my cousin and gifting him an electric guitar from the "TH Museum of Impulsive Purchases" as, while redundant last year, he had to sell his beloved guitar to pay bills
You're right, I AM a bit like Jesus, aren't I?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:10, archived)

Monday is Thing 2's 13th birthday
Where does the time etc
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:11, archived)

yeah Queef jr's 13th is July 15th
she's getting a Squier tele from us and my mums have got her an amp. Lucky girl
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:17, archived)

Oh nice!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:34, archived)

classic sunburst, it plays as well as my 'real' tele
and this amp:

www.gear4music.com/Guitar-and-Bass/SubZero-Tweed-V15G-Guitar-Amp/AUW
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:39, archived)

Love it
There's so much affordable choice for beginners these days. There was nothing like this when I first started
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:41, archived)

my first guitar was a fucking horrible sparkly red Encore
I loved it but man it was shit
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:44, archived)

I remember Encore's
They weighed a tonne, got the job done
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 12:07, archived)

This was my first one
www.theguitarcollection.org.uk/guitar/satellite-65t/
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 12:08, archived)

I had one of these beauts
images.app.goo.gl/kgBtBaqHYUmzcGNQ8
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 13:08, archived)

classic

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:11, archived)

Wow! Haven't seen a Marlin in years

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:16, archived)

Kay's catalogue

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:20, archived)

She sure is

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:27, archived)

Forgotten legend
planetbotch.blogspot.com/2012/07/marlin-sidewinder-forgotten-legend.html?m=1
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:43, archived)

My cousin had a Sunn Mustang
Which was a Stratalike (contrary to what the name suggests) made by a subsidiary of a subsidiary of a subsidiary of Fender. Not a bad little guitar though
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:51, archived)

had a Sunn Mustang
Which was a Stratalike (contrary to what the name suggests) made by a subsidiary of a subsidiary of a subsidiary of F, like me, is a massive b
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 15:15, archived)

WELL

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 15:29, archived)

^not denying it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 16:48, archived)

I wouldn't dare

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 17:38, archived)

not with those wrists

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 17:42, archived)

nah, might go to the local barbershop for the first time in ages, that's about it

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:16, archived)

make sure to ask for some 'tramlines'
they'll really offset the 'snapback and skatewear in your 40s' complete spastic look
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:18, archived)

yes mate, jeans and tshirt is an embarrassing look once yr past 40.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:27, archived)

my mistake, I am sure you look truly 'rad' and 'gnarly'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:33, archived)

I do actually need to see how well my new green pumas go with my new Bathing Ape 'original headz' tshirt, pretty sure it will look ill as well as dope.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:35, archived)

alright, Nathan Barley

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:39, archived)

peace and fucking, yeah?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:46, archived)

Bathing Sugar
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 19:22, archived)

Haha, tramlines
Might grow my hair out a bit, and work some tramlines in. Then everyone will finally see how cool I am
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:36, archived)

I was rocking tramlines up until a couple of years ago

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:37, archived)

I really must dig out the receipt for this surpriseometer

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:40, archived)

another gig lined up for Sunday night
going to have to find something to keep myself out of mischief until then
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:23, archived)

best of luck m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:34, archived)

thanks m8

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:38, archived)

might have a listen to that record that Bobby Gillespie has made with Jehnny Beth
Primal Scream have been shit for fuckin ages but I quite liked Savages.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:29, archived)

fuckin ages their entire career

even Weatherall couldn't fix that
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:34, archived)

I disagree mate, obviously their output is patchy AF and they are only ever as good as their collaborator/producer
but that was a decent run of albums from Vanishing Point through to Evil Heat.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 11:37, archived)

He was on front row promoting it last night, sounded shit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 13:11, archived)

Quiet drink tonight
Off to the arcades with the helper monkeys Sunday. Trying an e-cig for the first time today, they're not bad
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 12:04, archived)

High queef, should be a good one, don't want to give too much away but I definitely *won't* be performing bizarre German sex acts on a variety of animals

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 12:05, archived)

GERMAN SHITMAGS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 12:07, archived)

I'm going to do my bit to support the UK brewing industry in these challenging and uncertain times

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 13:20, archived)

investing in BrewDog, eh?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 13:29, archived)

I support their bullying policy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:48, archived)

they really are a troupe of wankers, aren't they?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 14:56, archived)

/talk, I mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 15:05, archived)

If football IS coming home, could it pick up 4 pints of semi on the way please?
Hahaha

Morning everyone. Sorry about that. I've gone MAD! Haha
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:29, archived)

lol semi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:34, archived)

Haha like a soft penus!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:45, archived)

yes, I do as it happens oh hahaha!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:47, archived)

morning
went to a proper lol gig last night
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:38, archived)

Hope you didn't catch covid x

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:45, archived)

oof, me too
I've had both my shots now so it should be OK
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:46, archived)

how *is* Kunt?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:00, archived)

heh
three Eastern European lads, dressed straight out of 1995. The singer had a mullet and shades, which he kept on even after he stripped his shirt off and did the rest of the gig bare-chested

if Borat had had a group, this would have been it
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:03, archived)

Sounds like a blast.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:27, archived)

it really was

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:30, archived)

Nice double use of conditional pluperfect tense there

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jul 2021, 2:54, archived)

Haha three lions on my shirt, hope they don't bite my nipples off haha

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:42, archived)

Oof! That would smart, and no mistake! ROAR! lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:45, archived)

oh MAN!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:52, archived)

Here we go again!!!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:54, archived)

UH-OH!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:58, archived)

alright, "Almost Scooby Doo"

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:21, archived)

not bad thanks m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:38, archived)

No
It doesn't have any arms
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:11, archived)

Well I did say I'd gone mad, so

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:49, archived)

Assuming it's a standard FIFA size 5 football coming home,
it should hold a little under 5.792 litres (according to the ever trustworthy answers.com), which is more than twice what you need. I say a little under because the calculation is based on a 70cm external circumference of a sphere; a football isn't a true sphere and I guess their 'skins' are around 0.3cm thick.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 13:11, archived)

Might get that on the populol page so those on brb ignore 2.0 can witness the quality internet they are missing

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 16:03, archived)

You'd need a second person to like it though.
I don't see it happening, soz.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 19:08, archived)

morning cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 8:08, archived)

Morning BPD Posse

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 8:35, archived)

Friday innit
properly can't be arsed today
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:20, archived)

morning posse cheers

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 9:43, archived)

morning
Alright fellow /talk contributors.

I have a question.

Is Manolith still about?

I couldn’t be arsed checking.

Cheers.
(mosca espanola 🇪🇸🪰, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 4:26, archived)

Cheers

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 6:18, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 7:14, archived)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 7:22, archived)

Cheers

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 7:23, archived)

Cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 8:24, archived)

Cheers

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 8:27, archived)

Clickin dis

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 19:05, archived)

BEETLEJUICE

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 8:30, archived)

My mate two eyed Steve gave me 5 weed jelly Teddy bear sweats . Fella who made them has upped the ante on them apparently. Only need 1 he says. I'll be the judge of that. You alright?

( mongychops, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:11, archived)

Well I'll try one, if that's what you mean

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:14, archived)

Also, two eyed Steve?
I suspect there's a story there
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:27, archived)

if you can have two hats someone else can have two eyes, dontchathink?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:30, archived)

David Bowie eyes

( mongychops, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:40, archived)

Oh I see

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:42, archived)

I think some girl went oh wow, you've got 2 eyes, laughter , and it's stuck. Great bloke

( mongychops, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:45, archived)

alright 'Kim Carnes'

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 8:26, archived)

The dog is being a whiny, attention-seeking dick
I hate all pets.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:47, archived)

you should let it use your account here, nobody would notice the difference

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:55, archived)

irony

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 2 Jul 2021, 8:25, archived)

If a whiny, attention-seeking dog could speak, we could not understand him.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 2 Jul 2021, 10:45, archived)

I've got a couple of weed sweets given to me by one of the parents at my kid's school, dunno if they're teddy bears though as they squashed them flat to discreetly hand them over inside a book

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 20:59, archived)

Fucking hell
Why don't I know people like this?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:08, archived)

because you haven’t left the house in 3 years?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:41, archived)

Oh yeah

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:58, archived)

Title: The Big Book Of Clandestine Edible Cannabis Handovers

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 23:25, archived)

one is probably all you need if you're more used to smoking, but you're a grown up and the worst that can happen is you get really really high

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 21:07, archived)

one m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:10, archived)

That seems pretty irresponsible making drugs into things that children would immediately eat if they found them lying around.
What the fuck is he making them into sweets for anyway, probably a disgusting kiddy drug rapist, best steer clear of them.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:22, archived)

Kids today are fucking thick. A box if persil looked like sugar. You didn't have to lock it away so we didn't eat it

( mongychops, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:46, archived)

I bet you racked out a few lines of it tho.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:53, archived)

Smashed the icing sugar mate , proper rush. Give your lad some

( mongychops, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 22:59, archived)

Yes yes y'all, a-to the beat y'all
Hi guy's, I'm an 'old school rapper'.

Haha, not really, it was me (Queef Richard's) all along! I'm not an 'old school rapper' at all! Fuck me I am bored as shit.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:30, archived)

alright boyce you wanker, those turquoise pumas are arriving today lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:39, archived)

they were my 'most wanted' for fucking years
Until I got some of course
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:43, archived)

those mustard yellow ones are alright as well

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:47, archived)

nah, not for me

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:48, archived)

I only ever wear those motorcycle boots with the straps and the ring on the side 'cause I'm a unique individual who doesn't follow the rules. Take that society!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:01, archived)

alright Windy Pig, haven't seen you on here for a few days

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:07, archived)

Soz, don't know who that is. I'm just so tired from carving my own path you know?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:56, archived)

school rapp +wank
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:44, archived)

I'm wanking all day and I'm wanking all night
I'm wanking to the beat and I wank it up tight
( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:54, archived)

it's a fair cop guv

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:45, archived)

alright m8, I'm joining you in the 'bored as shit' club today
also those couple of shandies last night were a mistake
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:59, archived)

I'm just trying to get through the next few months one day at a time
keyword: shandies
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:46, archived)

+hand

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:03, archived)

standard

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:55, archived)

you want to get yourself a proper job

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:08, archived)

I fear you might be right m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:45, archived)

*hops hip*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:27, archived)

and you don't stip

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:46, archived)

I can do a really solid head spin
But I choose not to
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:29, archived)

^ spinny bumskull

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:58, archived)

*slowly rotates*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:38, archived)

I am procrastinating
As I need to clean the house but I don't want to
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:29, archived)

dozer will pay you to do it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:47, archived)

Try procrasturbating instead. Much more rewarding.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:15, archived)

Just had an order from a hospital for "Glycopyrronium *UP G* 2% solution".
We make glycopyrronium bromide solution, but I have absolutely no idea what "*UP G*" means in this context. My best guess is that they want someone to phone them up and say "what's *UP G*?"
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:42, archived)

I fucking hope so
That would be fantastic
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:48, archived)

I believe it's a type of updog.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jul 2021, 18:09, archived)

Mick Harris interview, worth a read
thequietus.com/articles/30140-mick-harris-interview-scorn-napalm-death
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:32, archived)

having just read it, I disagree

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:46, archived)

WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF THEN

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:47, archived)

it does go on a bit, admittedly

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:48, archived)

to spare anyone else the bother
'I released a record under the name Knob on a Belgian label run by Gunther Spunkbreath, he was great to work with. Then I made one under the name Wank with David Turd, then I did another one as Knob. Then I thought, oh, I want to do another Wank record so I recorded one for the German Tedium label. Then I thought to myself I want another Knob. Then I didn't record anything for a bit. Then I made a record as Guff-tits in Amsterdam...'

Only 15 times longer.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:50, archived)

Sounds good

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 14:36, archived)

mate you're no idea, it's riveting

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:08, archived)

he had a massive rant on facebook a few weeks ago, apparently very upset about Lee Dorrian's shop

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:16, archived)

why, it looks amazing

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:29, archived)

sour grapes, I don't think they are good friends

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:58, archived)

I most certainly did not

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:37, archived)

well tangles says you did and I for one believe him
it's exactly the sort of thing you'd do. Why can't you just be happy for other people for once? Jesus.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:42, archived)

Look, if I get the chance to ruin someone's day, I'm going to take it, right?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:51, archived)

Well you're really only ruining your own, when all's said and done.
Think on *that*, if you will.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:55, archived)

I'm petitioning for him to be banned from all social media

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:59, archived)

*starts gaz petition*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:03, archived)

just not in the spirit of /ot

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:16, archived)

*signs*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:37, archived)

lol deaf

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 18:01, archived)

What?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 18:20, archived)

What happened after guff-tits? This is the best thing I’ve read in ages.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:17, archived)

You wouldn't believe me if I told you, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:31, archived)

The credibility of the fake PayPal email I got today was somewhat undermined by the fact that the subject read “Papal Service”

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 14:23, archived)

haha, I had an email from a 'JILLBI DEN' earlier

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 14:30, archived)

George Soros wants to give me six million dollars, and he spelled his name correctly so it must be legit.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:03, archived)

Yeah I like calling the new guy Jobby Den

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:18, archived)

haha, I'll bet you do!!
mind if I nick that for my social media 'presence'? I'm a major 'influencer' with loads of 'followers' so you'd get great 'exposure'.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:39, archived)

Can I get a free sample?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 23:27, archived)

THE POPE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:11, archived)

I’m in Warrington
I am going to look at shoes in Millets. It’s the done thing in the north. Had some of this famous “cheap northern beer” yesterday fucking hell it was rank.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:30, archived)

was it from a Sam Smith's pub?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:40, archived)

a
+es
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:56, archived)

brown piss with hints of brackish pondwater and whippet turds?
I think I've had that one
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:41, archived)