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alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Aug 2021, 13:15, archived)
No
Got a sinus headache setting in
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 13:37, archived)
DIAGNOSIS: COVID
You're welcome
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 17:58, archived)
*Dies*

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 19:38, archived)
Yes
knocked off at 1, been to the shops, fannying about in the kitchen
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 14:56, archived)
got a cool apron?

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 14:59, archived)
I reckon he has that one with the french maid outfit on it

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:00, archived)
of course I do m8, come on
www.souschef.co.uk/products/risdon-risdon-denim-street-apron
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:31, archived)
I want one what says 'Kiss The Co*k'
Lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 16:41, archived)
Kiss The Cork?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 16:50, archived)
kiss de cark, so it is

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 16:59, archived)
might get a 'boob inspector' t shirt

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 16:59, archived)
Is there one for bumholes?

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 18:00, archived)
Yeah, Mono's got one.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Aug 2021, 18:04, archived)
We're all well aware of the existence of mono's bumhole, thank you

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 21:10, archived)
alright!

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 20:02, archived)
Friday

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:17, archived)
pishin it doon here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:21, archived)
Yep, same

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:22, archived)
meh,

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:50, archived)
meh,

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:59, archived)
meh,

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 17:00, archived)
meh,

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 20:47, archived)
meh
tried to paint the shed but it started raining
nearly finished my picture frames though
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 15:51, archived)
ok

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Aug 2021, 16:22, archived)
Just use waterproof paint

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 18:01, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY8311Q1KJ8
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 20:16, archived)
Does it make any difference to you at all whether I’m alright or not?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 16:28, archived)
SOME of us care, m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 17:00, archived)
absolutely fuck all, mofaha

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Aug 2021, 17:06, archived)
Does it make any difference to you at all whether anyone on here is alright or not?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 22:38, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8308647
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Aug 2021, 22:59, archived)
Then why fucking ask?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 0:56, archived)
it wasn't a question

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Aug 2021, 11:54, archived)
That’s true, you’re right.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 13:46, archived)
Ok, so I’ve given this some more thought, mongy is right of course, neither I nor anyone else here cares if you are alright or not. So there’s no need for another update, ok?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 18:19, archived)
Would you bother on any opinion this tedious shitcunt has?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 17:54, archived)
Nah, not really

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 22:39, archived)
As long as you're not planning to sue me then no

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 17:59, archived)
I'm going to sue you for ten pounds damaged item

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 18:30, archived)
I'm going to countersue you £5000 for the emotional distress caused by your post and the damage to my reputation.
You can expect a gaz from my lawyer.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 18:54, archived)
→(° ۝ °)┗

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 23:17, archived)
weekend tedium thread

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:09, archived)
mate coming up 2moz hopefully, cooking a curry, boozin' and shoesin' for pud
sunday: crying
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:09, archived)
Saturday: runnin’
Sunday: wankin’
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:22, archived)
red raw both days, nice

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:43, archived)
A weekend of chafin’

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:53, archived)
both good excuses to put vaseline on your nipples

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:54, archived)
You need an excuse?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:15, archived)
First game of the new season for my beloved Charlton Saturday at 5.30, live on sky

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:33, archived)
will it be on in your local?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:39, archived)
Yer , I was actually goi but I'll go when we aren't on the box

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:10, archived)
is it expensive at Charlton?
the one and only time I've been to a football match was Arsenal, it was free but I understand the tickets cost shitloads, also season tickets
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:15, archived)
About 26 quid where I sit behind the goal

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:39, archived)
wow, having a look online, Arsenal ones can be £400+
www.biletwise.com/en/arsenal-fc-tickets
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:47, archived)
Gooners need a steady stream of things to complain about, that's why

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:50, archived)
there's one there vs Man U which is £540
sport of the people eh
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:57, archived)
Dunno

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:40, archived)
yeah you do, dunt lie

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:43, archived)
Very dark and wet here today, but not too cold
The kind of day I love
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:15, archived)
I want to go for a walk but it's been wazzing it on and off all morning
might just peg it to the butcher's and Indian shop then home again
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:26, archived)
I love walking in the rain
Dull, dreary, wet day walk, then back home to a nice mug of tomato soup
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:52, archived)
you make it sound almost attractive
there's something about soup in a mug that I find utterly repellent for no sensible reason - drinking tap water from a mug also makes me shudder, my old housemate used to do it all the time, ugh
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 12:59, archived)
It's a proper soup mug
One of those old big ones with the tomato soup recipe on the front. I had a mushroom soup one, too,but that didn't survive the last move
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 13:20, archived)
morning
Friday woohoo
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 7:19, archived)
elation abounds

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 7:32, archived)
partay time

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 8:01, archived)
Oh yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 8:55, archived)
you know it

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:02, archived)
exactly what a roister-doister would say
I can read you like a book, m8
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:02, archived)
Never judge a roister by his doister, m8

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:56, archived)
Give a man a doister and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to roister and you feed him for a lifetime, m8
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 10:10, archived)
YES bruv
What a fucking odd night I've had. Woke up at 3, couldn't get back to sleep til about 5:30, upon which I had the most mental series of dreams, you know when there's a moment when you think 'oh ffs, this is a dream' and wake up? That happened about 10 times; I'd go back to sleep and the same dream carried on until I'd clock it was a dream and wake up again, over and over again. Weird as shit.

And, I fully appreciate, boring as shit. Soz, boarder's
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)
heh, you and I swapped nights
what you just described is most nights for me, but last night I was in bed by midnight and slept through till 07:00

not that I feel any less tired, mind
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:03, archived)
Don't want to jinx it, but my wee lad has slept until 7 am FIVE NIGHTS in a row, which is a minor miracle tbh.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:09, archived)
I never thought it would happen, but I'm in fucking Clapham, only until 1130, its Friday I'm off early

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:17, archived)
I'm planning on a half day too
boss doesn't like me being off when he's on holiday but there's fuck all to do so I might be in luck

PS that's Squeeze is it not?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:20, archived)
Crapham, eh?
unlucky
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:30, archived)
I once saw Mobb Deep at the Clapham Grand after spending a day in the pub in St John's Wood doing mdma and coke with the Chemical Brothers
I've got a great tip for you - don't ever go to see Mobb Deep at the Clapham Grand after spending a day in the pub in St John's Wood doing mdma and coke with the Chemical Brothers
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:36, archived)
thanks m8, I'll bear that in mind

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:38, archived)

emi u a k +e
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 10:34, archived)
A mate of mine once told me a story
involving a convoy of stolen high-end cars being driven from Liverpool to southern Spain for re-selling, culminating in a week long party at a luxury villa, and one of the Chuckles (he wasn't sure which) had come along for the ride and was v paranoid about it all going wrong and thus ending his career as a children's entertainer. So how about that?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 10:56, archived)
I suspect this is a 'pearoast' but what can you do

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 10:56, archived)
It’s better than /chat just being an endless sea of ‘alright’ threads

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:00, archived)
In b4 someone starts an ‘alright’ thread

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:01, archived)
I'll start a weekend tedium thread instead

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:09, archived)
wtf...one of the Chuckles?

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:05, archived)
yep, mental huh

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 11:08, archived)
It gives me opportunity to try a new greasy spoon

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:38, archived)
I've not been out for a fryup in years
This needs addressing
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:45, archived)
It was fucking handsome, only went for the small set as first time, sausage bacon egg mushroom beans tomato tea and toast, all great, leilas cafe, will use again

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:53, archived)
wel jel

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:55, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:20, archived)
y

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:31, archived)
Morning Friday bish bash bosh

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:23, archived)
lol bashing the bishop

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:31, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:37, archived)
Woo and, indeed, hoo

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 9:50, archived)
get your freak on

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 10:00, archived)
Consider it on

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 10:05, archived)
Mine's never off.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 13:49, archived)
Suns over the yard arm

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 17:19, archived)
sun's over
bum's over
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 17:24, archived)
Sun packed bum packed our bum pat

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 21:27, archived)
so it looks like COVID is slowly clearing up
Anyone fancy a b3tabash or not?
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 18:23, archived)
London World Naked Bike Ride is coming up soon. You could combine the two.

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 20:06, archived)
Good saddle-sniffing opportunity there, I'd have thought.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 5 Aug 2021, 20:43, archived)
there'll be a lot of pricks, either way

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 21:16, archived)
oh vg

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Aug 2021, 8:48, archived)
Can’t wait for comedy at the George

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 22:07, archived)
Teh 'noonzorz!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:03, archived)
Lunchtime I reckon

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:17, archived)
you might well be right, here

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:33, archived)
Really didn't need the spicy rice with the spicy chicken, rookie mistake

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:50, archived)
best pop a bog roll in the fridge when you get home

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:51, archived)
It's thai spicy, so not too bad. Just a bit spicy heavy

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:52, archived)
it's been dead quiet here ever since garold went to the North

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:30, archived)
our loss is /links' gain
dozer's fault
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 12:33, archived)
maybe he feels a bit silly about the whole thing

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:09, archived)

t s g w
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:35, archived)
Gonna eat a packet of maoam

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:03, archived)
which other snacks are palindromes?

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:07, archived)
Not sure
Pop?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:28, archived)
yeah, that'll do

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:34, archived)
poop?
For the coprophage boarder's.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:43, archived)
or 'kayak' for people who eat boats
nonsense
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:54, archived)
Madam, I'm Adam
for the cannibals?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:56, archived)
A man, a plan, a canal; Panama

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 14:35, archived)
For men who have plans for Latin American wayerways

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 14:35, archived)
retsiod-retsior roister-doister
For roister-doisters
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:11, archived)
^

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:15, archived)
I've made my own (Mc) beef rub, it's got activated charcoal in it to make the crust black
I got the idea from this:

www.hardcorecarnivore.com/products/hardcore-carnivore-black

Giving it a go on steaks tonight, pray for me m8
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:37, archived)
should keep the guffs under control if nothing else

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:46, archived)
an additional benefit which had not occurred to me

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:53, archived)

The claim may be used only for food which contains 1 g of activated charcoal per quantified portion. In order to bear the claim information shall be given to the consumer that the beneficial effect is obtained with 1 g which should be taken at least 30 minutes before and 1 g shortly after the meal.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 18:25, archived)
M8, I pray for you anyway
But today I'll make sure the big man's listening
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:55, archived)
I would be interested to hear how that goes though

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:56, archived)
I will report back, inshallah

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 17:11, archived)

ToasaoT.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 13:47, archived)
Kitkataktik

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 14:30, archived)
strategic chocolate

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:32, archived)
#infest

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 15:53, archived)
Morning's bumhole

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 8:21, archived)
Morning queef let's rock this shit

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 8:34, archived)
do that shit, do that shit, do it


lol shit
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 8:52, archived)
mi dead wid laugh

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 8:44, archived)
easy blacka dread

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 8:52, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 5 Aug 2021, 8:46, archived)
y

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 8:52, archived)
+ has broken

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 9:03, archived)
+wind

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 9:16, archived)
I've had an order from a Michelle Wannop
Imagine your real name being a knock knock joke lol
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 9:18, archived)
rofl

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 9:25, archived)
Michelle who?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 9:58, archived)
Little joke there

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 9:58, archived)
you old roister-doister you

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 9:59, archived)
Roister-doisters gonna roister-doist

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:08, archived)
if you can't handle me at my roister, you don't deserve me at my doister

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:13, archived)
Don't ask what your roister can doister for you
But what you can roister for your doister
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 11:14, archived)
Now this is not the doister.
It is not even the beginning of the doister. But it is, perhaps, the end of the roister.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 11:16, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:08, archived)
hullo

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:13, archived)
does tom daley doing knitting make up for all the hearts he broke when he announced he was a bender?

(Tony Shithouse, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:17, archived)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:25, archived)
Knitting has nothing to do with being a bender
Although my mate knits and he's a bender
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:54, archived)
My mum knits and she's also a bender

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 10:58, archived)
The defence rests

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 11:13, archived)
bite my shiny metal ass

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 11:06, archived)
Mono's bumhole

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 21:36, archived)
cool

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 21:48, archived)

Can be
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 22:02, archived)
Is that something you're looking into?

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 22:02, archived)
Endlessly

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 22:02, archived)
Stick a ton of head and shoulders up it before mitosis occurs

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 22:21, archived)
I'd suggest starting with yourtoeses, once your head and shoulders are in there there's no going back.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 23:49, archived)
good night, mr horrible

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 22:45, archived)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 22:50, archived)
Is this a sex thing?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Aug 2021, 2:47, archived)
cocktail hour thread


lol cock
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:06, archived)
i'll have a gin and tonic
make it a double
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:08, archived)
good day at the shops?
Just had a difficult time acquiring fennel, what a world

Got there in the end though, don't panic everyone
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:24, archived)
I've bought shit loads from that spices on the web
I think you put me onto them. Got some beezer Mexican oregano of them recently
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:26, archived)
skillz, bro
what I want is somewhere local I can buy fresh green peppercorns, I fuckin loves 'em I do
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:29, archived)

epperc rns, I fuckin loves 'em I d
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:46, archived)
I make my own, dude, fresh and organic every day

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:55, archived)
I bought some Mexican tarragon the other day.
I didn't like it
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:43, archived)
shopping was excellent
i got a romero dead trilogy boxset for a fiver. i already had night of the living dead and dawn of the dead, but i've been looking for day of the dead for ages. there's a bonus disc with documentaries and featurettes, too. i got myself a new pair of connies and a shitload of junk food, which i don't normally buy, but i felt like it today. also on the list was a bottle of gordon's, so i foresee a night of sweets, gin and zombies
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:40, archived)
Nice.
what kind of junk food?
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:41, archived)
maoam, haribo, chocolate biscuits, cheese puffs, lemon fanta, dry roasted nuts, peanut butter kitkats and jaffa cakes

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:55, archived)

cheese puffs, lemon fanta, dry roasted nuts, peanut butter kitkats and jaffa cakes everybody talk about, pop miskits
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:56, archived)
raging lard-on right now

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:58, archived)
you're both very silly.
continue.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:00, archived)
it's a gift
and a curse
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:02, archived)
much like gonorrhea

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:04, archived)
i heard it;s what killed howard carter

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:08, archived)
the curse!

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:14, archived)
lol, stealing this

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:19, archived)
feel free
I think it was a b3taism from way back when
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:35, archived)
also, nowhere had the fish sauce i wanted
but i'm not going to the asian supermarket for the good stuff, i'll end up spending a fortune, i always do
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:41, archived)
those places are amazing eh, I love 'em, always end up with shitloads of goodies, frozen gyozas and so on
where we live now, they've got Indian cash & carrys which are almost as bad, go in for 100g of turmeric, come out with 500g grams of it in a big bag, fucking great big cinnamon sticks, black cardamoms, fresh curry leaves etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:45, archived)
I may have experenced something similar in Cosco the other day
but I will now never run out of liquorish
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:50, archived)
I've heard good things about bbq meat at costco

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:54, archived)
It has a pretty good meat selection
fnarr fnarr
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:06, archived)
lastr time i went, i was only going for fish sauce
came home with 2 bamboo steamers, a huge bag of potstickers, a box of squid, green-lipped mussels, 4 different bottles of hot sauce, a variety of rice noodles, pea aubergines, green curry paste, those metal tongs you cn't resist clacking every time you pick them up and a firm desire to never taste durian fruit
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:59, archived)
I usually get Squid brand
I understand that Vietnamese fish sauce is milder and more fragrant than Thai but I always forget to try some and go for the Squid
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:51, archived)
yep, the squid one is the one i get
blue dragon do a passable one, too. a bit milder, but does the job
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:56, archived)
Just make your own.
I'm sure you can find a fish and a juicer, how hard can it be?
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:32, archived)
Why would I take a fish to the juicer?
I want fish sauce, not a fish ON the sauce
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 22:23, archived)
I've figured out why picture framing costs so much
it's a fucking ballache is why
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:10, archived)
Well it's not one of the all time great anecdotes
But at least you're trying
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:14, archived)
well I liked it

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:22, archived)
YOU WOULD

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:24, archived)
not gonna lie, picframechat is my fuckin SHIT yo
you know that, I know that - every man Jack of the posters here in /chatsville Tennessee knows that

and lady Jill, soz #metoo boarder's
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:26, archived)
Clickin dis

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:27, archived)
what are you framing?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:23, archived)
OJ SIMPSON

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:24, archived)
If it smells like shit, you must acquit
There
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:26, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8308434
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:30, archived)
If it's warm and yellow
That's an innocent fellow
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:30, archived)
if it reeks of turd
he can't do bird
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:40, archived)
If a stink has arisen, he can’t go to prison

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:02, archived)
actual lol

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:30, archived)
some paintings what I done

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 20:39, archived)
try using your hands instead m8


LOLLLLLLLLLL
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:30, archived)
I'm having a sprite

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:23, archived)
make sure you wash your hands afterwards

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:25, archived)
oh I will
Macca's tea after spending a fair amount to get my car through an MoT
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:26, archived)
Might have sex on the beach
followed by a drink

Lol sex
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:30, archived)
lol crabs

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:34, archived)

sex wank a n
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:36, archived)
no way lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:41, archived)
is beer allowed?

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:34, archived)
only if it has a slice of lemon and an umbrella in it

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:36, archived)
and a plastic monkey hanging off it

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:42, archived)
and a dead worm at the bottom of the bottle?

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:48, archived)
+ulous

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:15, archived)
I hope so
I finished my sprite and have moved onto beer
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:36, archived)
how could I say no to you, snugglebuns xoxoxox

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:39, archived)
ginger beer -> queer

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:48, archived)
maybe yours will catch on

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:58, archived)
Thanks, might bloody mary like a boss

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:55, archived)
my old local in Bethnal did an absolute killer bloody mary
double smirnoff blue, dash of port etc etc

it was about £8 fucking 10 years ago mind
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:06, archived)
adjusted for london inflation
Its probably getting on for £20 now
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:11, archived)
I've never heard of port in a bloody mary, hmmm

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:14, archived)
could work
But I'm not a cocktail purist
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:19, archived)
Negroni
Or something sugary and lemony. A pancake perhaps.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:24, archived)
*BRB KLAXON*

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:47, archived)
[klaxon intensifies]

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 18:52, archived)
it is now the afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 12:03, archived)
woah
when did that happen?
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 12:25, archived)
I know, right?
One minute it's morning and then BAM! Afternoon.

You couldn't make it up
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 12:27, archived)
hiyas

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 4 Aug 2021, 12:29, archived)
yes, yes, what do you want now?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 12:31, archived)
all the old skool 'qotwers' to come back and save beeter

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:13, archived)
that’s real cute, kid

(Tony Shithouse, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:26, archived)
innit doe

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:36, archived)
yes

(Tony Shithouse, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:40, archived)
^female deer of the urban persuasion

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:53, archived)
I'm warning you m8, all I have to do is press this button and brb will be alerted
You're on very thin ice here sunshine
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:54, archived)

Is it like the bat signal?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 14:30, archived)

b tw

precisely
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 14:55, archived)
So it is.
Bit bored, might bagpipe a bandicoot.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:54, archived)
I'm bored as shit

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:55, archived)
Thunderstorms and rain now, summer is over
Might ogle an ocelot
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 13:55, archived)
sun's out a Londres
Might tit up a ptarmigan
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 14:04, archived)
Good shout, enjoy your London sun

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 14:04, archived)
get your ptits out

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 14:14, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 4 Aug 2021, 15:37, archived)
FUCK YEAH WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON WOOHOO WHALLOP
might make a sandwich
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 16:19, archived)
i'm in an extremely good mood
got the original day of the dead, a bottle of gordon's and a new pair of connies. and it hasn't rained!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 17:07, archived)
morning all

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 8:36, archived)
hi FRIEND

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 4 Aug 2021, 8:51, archived)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:02, archived)
beautiful weather here today

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:30, archived)
Morning
Surprisingly chipper this morning
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 8:57, archived)
that is indeed surprising

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)
It may be because it's payday
And I get to do my favourite thing ever
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:18, archived)
diddle a dingo?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:18, archived)
That's a close second
I get to go shopping!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:30, archived)
I've not been in a non-supermarket shop for fucking ever
I buy all my clothes, shoes and records online- the high street is dead to me
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:32, archived)
I'm only going food shopping
And maybe a couple of DVD's
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:40, archived)
eat an entire tube of Pringles and subscribe to Two Hats’ YouTube channel?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:33, archived)
Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:38, archived)
SMASH THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON GUYS

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:47, archived)
Don't forget to ring that bell!
+ end
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:56, archived)
Sponsored by Honey

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:49, archived)
Ooo, so, close, but wrong
Thanks for playing and don't forget, you get the souvenir cuddly monkey to take home
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:40, archived)
Sounds good to me, how big is the monkey?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:43, archived)
14 inches

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:47, archived)
The perfect size

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:48, archived)
Yo bum rush the show

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 8:57, archived)
bring the noise

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:01, archived)
and a very good morning to you

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:07, archived)
sunny start here, might not even rain if I'm *really* lucky

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:10, archived)
sunny here too, just been for a run before it starts pissing down

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:11, archived)
just having a spin on the old deskbike but will get out for a walk in a bit too
I used to go running but my father and sister have both had knee surgery due to high impact(ish) sports - squash and basketball respectively - so I'm really wary of having similar issues: the bike is best for me, I think. Not to mention I am getting paid whilst I cycle
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:14, archived)
#thatsinterestingqueef

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:18, archived)
That’s probably how I’ll end up…just need to get my marathon done first!
#nobodycarescheers #comedyforum
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:30, archived)
how long is it til the Big Race?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:43, archived)
*brb* etc

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:43, archived)
17th October, scarily close

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:50, archived)
can you manage the 26 miles already and are just working on doing it faster? or are you just hoping you can do the whole length by then?
I know almost nothing about this stuff, sorry


lol 'do', lol 'whole length'
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 10:02, archived)
lol
lol

20 miles is my longest so far, just need to up my endurance
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 10:04, archived)
sounds like you should be OK for 26 then
take a wrap of whizz and 'bomb' it towards the end


lol end
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 10:09, archived)
Morning queef FUCK YEAH WEDNESDAY

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:25, archived)
FUCKING COME THE FUCK ON!!!!


lol come
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:31, archived)
Lol like spunk!

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:39, archived)
yes, I do

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 4 Aug 2021, 9:40, archived)
morning
late start today
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 10:05, archived)
don't let it happen again, OK?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 10:10, archived)
yes boss

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 10:12, archived)
juicer time

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 17:01, archived)
n

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 17:08, archived)
Too fucking right

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 17:58, archived)
OK, neighbour was apparently very pleased with the repair job I did on her jacket
She dropped off a bag of shoe and some cans and I am now twisted
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Aug 2021, 0:11, archived)
Been and gone thank fuck. I'd hate to have a beer with you. No offence.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 18:13, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 18:27, archived)
Jesus is my juicer

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 19:16, archived)
Jesus juice eh? Were you wearing a glove as you typed this? Did you keep yelling, “Sha-mon!”

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 19:57, archived)
good afternoon, knobber's
just went for a little stroll, amazingly it wasn't raining. What a shitty old summer this is turning out to be, still I'd rather this shit than 47 degrees and everything on fire like in the Med right now. Poor sods.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:27, archived)
It's dark and cloudy over here
Rain is imminent, I'd say

#LikeCommentAndSubscribe
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:33, archived)
Just had some doner kebab Pringles
Definitely nothing like a kebab. I'd have guessed lamb madras. Definitely more curry than kebab
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:34, archived)
I see there's a pulled pork one too, I should imagine that just tastes of bbq sauce

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:49, archived)
*follows on insta*

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:49, archived)
If I had a YouTube channel, devoted entirely to tasting all the different types of Pringles
I could probably quit my job
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 13:27, archived)
defo, you could be a 'flavour ambassador/influencer', wow how cool would that be

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 13:38, archived)
Hey, what's up you guys, welcome to another episode of "TH's Tasty Tubes"
See? Easy
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 15:06, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8308334
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 15:15, archived)
*subscribes*

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 14:12, archived)
after a solid week's scorching weather, I thought 'fuck it' and bought a paddling pool for the garden
every single day since then, it has wazzed it down
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:43, archived)
such is life, m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:48, archived)
someone's up there having a good laugh alright

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:50, archived)
$oro$

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:53, archived)
PS strikey piddling poo

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:56, archived)
Saves you having to bother filling it with a hose, I guess.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 3 Aug 2021, 13:07, archived)

Saves you having to bother filling it with Fuck +r
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 13:18, archived)
it would have been filled several times over by the rain by now

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 13:20, archived)
Damned hosers, going around hosing everything!
Damn their eyes, I say!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 3 Aug 2021, 15:45, archived)
It's certainly keeping me away from the lakes

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:43, archived)
do you get a load of mosquitoes when you're fishing in summer?
It's bad enough here, I'm getting bitten to shit
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:48, archived)
Yeah, you have to use high content deet

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:58, archived)
I can't stand the smell
better than being eaten alive though I suppose
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 13:54, archived)
I'm not sure deet has an odor

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 14:06, archived)
ODOR!
like in Game of Thrones
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 14:12, archived)
ah I'm thinking of Muskol I think

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 14:15, archived)
I'd think so, deet was a weapons grade insect killer that causes cancer, smell was not its biggest issue

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 15:26, archived)
fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 15:29, archived)
It appears they have done more research and it's alright.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 17:00, archived)
glad to hear it

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 17:27, archived)
gr8 weather here, FRIEND

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:51, archived)
I would like a lower pollen count today
Still not sure if I've got a cold or it's hayfever, but it's doing my head in
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 14:35, archived)

Been 47 here, sweating buckets, Cyprus.
(Wobble, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 18:55, archived)
I don't think he asked ASL

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 21:47, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 7:21, archived)
you can say that again

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 7:39, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 7:40, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 7:56, archived)
Morning
Summer cold settling in nicely, I'm full of snot.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 7:41, archived)
I recommend that you read a book called "Snot Stew"

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:02, archived)
Sounds revolting

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 10:22, archived)
it is a wonderful book
not as good as The Indian in the Cupboard, but nonetheless
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 10:38, archived)

A moving text on Ghandi's struggle with his bisexuality.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:33, archived)
morn
ing
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:08, archived)
cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:11, archived)
How are things in wealthy and prosperous North Yorkshire?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:18, archived)
sunny, wealthy, prosperous
while simultaneously a grotesque, deprived, and unsophisticated shithole.

#garoldvisitedthenorth
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:32, archived)
Some say he’s still in the north
endlessly lost on the Armley Gyratory
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:35, archived)
the north is crying out for the patronage of a graphic designer married to a nurse
Such riches can only be dreamed of!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:39, archived)
oh give it a rest

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 9:28, archived)
Morning Arse, arse morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:27, archived)
morning mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:32, archived)
um, I mean, P E N I S

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:32, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:37, archived)
anal

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:43, archived)
Carling Black Label

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:47, archived)
steady on mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 8:48, archived)
sorry, 'Carling Label of Colour'

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 9:23, archived)
thanks, brb!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 9:23, archived)
Fuck Trump
eighteen million united states dollars $18,000,000,00usd that was
assigned
to be delivered to your humble home address by honorable president Mr
Joe
Biden the president of this great country this week by a delivery agent
Mr
wiliams
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 10:44, archived)
sounds legit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 10:58, archived)
Email came from the vice president, why would she lie

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 11:05, archived)
about as legit as it can get

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 3 Aug 2021, 11:13, archived)
Bitch is trippin

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Aug 2021, 12:41, archived)
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 14:36, archived)
DRIMBLE DRIMBLE DRIMBLE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 14:39, archived)
Dribble dribble dribble

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 14:42, archived)
alright dribble

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 14:42, archived)
$$

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 16:45, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 16:54, archived)
oi oi oi

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 15:03, archived)
This place would be dead on its arse if you stopped posting

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 16:07, archived)
the burden is a heavy one m8
just like my fucking ballsack!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 17:51, archived)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 17:57, archived)
Haha that's a tumour m8 lol!

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:58, archived)
Has anyone said PENIS recently?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 16:45, archived)
I said it last night
but I don't think anyone was listening
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 16:49, archived)
I was, m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 17:14, archived)
Oh
oh no
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 17:26, archived)
No

(Runcorn shitty limits, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 17:49, archived)
I'm saying PENIS as I type this

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 17:50, archived)
I’m typing this with my penis

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:06, archived)
Must be a very tiny penis to hit the keys so precisely.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:14, archived)
I’m using a Blackberry phone from 2006

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:25, archived)

berry phone from 2006 man's willy

Lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:35, archived)
lol willy
Like a pænus
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:48, archived)
PENIS

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:17, archived)
Wife just video called me so I could say goodnight to the kids.
We introduced the 3 year old to the music of culture club a few days ago which was clearly a terrible mistake.
She's been singing "kama kama kama chameleon red gold and green red gold and green" in an endless loop for the past 10 hours apparently. Ended the call after 5 minutes of that shit, hopefully wife won't have murdered them by the time I get home.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 18:57, archived)
Give it 15 years and she will be asking you to buy her fancy booze. Kids are 5wats

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 19:37, archived)
Booze is a long way off, we've not even let them try chocolate yet.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 20:14, archived)
morning 2
hullo
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 10:21, archived)
reply

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 10:42, archived)
morning , I really can't be bothered today

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 10:52, archived)
same here, my boss has gone to Barbados, I did an hour each morning over the weekend and as such have nothing pressing to do
light workload + no pressure = cba
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 10:59, archived)
Fella I work with is off this week. No drinking buddy

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:06, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:32, archived)
done any more pale shits lately?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:18, archived)
thankfully not, that was some weird shit, literally

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:32, archived)
pale stools are a symptom of pancreatic cancer, and heavy alcohol intake is a risk factor in developing that deadly disease.
Just sayin.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:38, archived)
*you're* a pale stool m8.
Just sayin.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 12:34, archived)
*BRB KLAXON*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 12:52, archived)
Or of being a dog in the 1980s.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 2 Aug 2021, 13:13, archived)
Really makes you think, doesn't it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 14:14, archived)
Oh yeah, tons.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 2 Aug 2021, 14:19, archived)
Bigtime.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 16:43, archived)
Back to work today
Work is bullshit. I want to retire, but still be paid the same. Can I do that?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:47, archived)
No.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:49, archived)
Sure.

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 11:53, archived)
Lots to think about here

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 12:06, archived)
stop working, but still get the benefits
aka 'doing a Brexit'
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 13:08, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 7:45, archived)
nice and sunny here, just in time for not the weekend

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 8:19, archived)
same
I think the sun took the weekend off as well
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 8:35, archived)
I've just had an order from someone with both a double-barrelled forename and surname
'Kimberley-Tybee Golding-Tomter', bit of a mouthful eh
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 8:49, archived)
sounds like she had a ripping good afterrnoon's punting and croquet
with Tarquin Bufton-Tufton and Arabella Worthingtonshire III
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 8:53, archived)
when my father was a don at Winchester he had a pupil with a triple-barrelled surname
'Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes', related to Ranulph Fiennes, I believe
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 8:55, archived)
no real names please
also, you're right: wiki says his full name is Sir Ranulph Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes, 3rd Baronet
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 8:57, archived)
soz Ranulph, will delete

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)
PS I have also had orders this morning from a 'James Bond' and a 'William Morris'

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:31, archived)
'Seymour Butts' can't be far behind

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:35, archived)
behind lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:53, archived)
double barrelled christian names are an underclass thing these days

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 8:56, archived)
^arriviste obsessed with class

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)
I just loathe awful names with 'unique' spellings.
Middle class people are equally bad.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:17, archived)
Arse boooooooon

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:12, archived)
BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-ADSWORD!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 9:16, archived)
morning ‘boon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Aug 2021, 10:21, archived)
cheers
Good weekend? Bit cloudy here on Sat morning but it cleared up enough for a BBQ in the evening lol.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 2 Aug 2021, 10:26, archived)
lovely sunday afternoon of doing fuck all
how about you?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 15:44, archived)
In the juicer watching the rain

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 15:57, archived)
sky's turning black here
but no rain as yet. going to piss it down shortly, mind
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 16:00, archived)
Looking at the puddles I'd say we've had a good 10mm in the last hour. London is flooding lovely this year

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 16:12, archived)
it's been unusually dry in liverpool and surrounding areas
not good for my hydrangeas, but i don't like them anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 16:22, archived)
sky's been glorious all day
turned black in the past five minutes

brb klaxon etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 18:05, archived)
Black clouds have all gone now
And it's turned lovely
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 19:03, archived)
Did BBQ jerk chicken, was pretty rad if I may say so myself.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 1 Aug 2021, 19:36, archived)
Sunday lunch at the parent's house as usual
At least I didn't have to cook
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 20:05, archived)
it's August
how the hell did that happen?!

This pandemic nonsense has fucked my time gauge up good and proper
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 19:42, archived)
As a friend of mine once astutely observed, "August always sneaks up on you."

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 1 Aug 2021, 19:53, archived)
It's Dan Donegan's birthday
And 4 years to the day since my sister got her cancer diagnosis
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 20:07, archived)
same

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 20:01, archived)
Morning. Morning. Morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:53, archived)
Yawn. Stretch. Guff.

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:55, archived)
might get a cushion with that on it

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:59, archived)
once, twice, three times a morning

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:56, archived)
yo

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 9:09, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 9:07, archived)
howdy

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 9:09, archived)
Happy Emancipation Day
(Barbados, Guyana, Jamaica, Saint Lucia, Turks and Caicos Islands, Trinidad and Tobago, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines)
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 9:32, archived)
thanks m8, that means a lot

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 9:41, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/hkY8hV7
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 11:09, archived)
righto

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 14:08, archived)
I just thought you should know

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 14:13, archived)
I'm still processing this

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 14:43, archived)
Yeah? Well *I'm* still processing *THIS*
*grabs crotch*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 15:28, archived)
Fuck my drunk is wearing off.
Trying to keep it going with some run and beer.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 12:52, archived)
I've done a bottle of Fino during lunch prep
whoops
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 14:09, archived)
Super ningletons m8e!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 14:42, archived)
haha, teh spangzorz!!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 14:43, archived)
No longer morning
I’ve been running up on t’moors, why? Because I can that’s why.

Cheers for the candles, 14 years of quality posting on /chat
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 15:07, archived)
Cheers
(14)
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 19:03, archived)
Sorry, which one are you again?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 1 Aug 2021, 21:50, archived)
Drimble. Drimble. Drimble.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 4:01, archived)
Cuthbert, Drimble, Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 6:53, archived)
Cheers, Cheers!!!
and a cheerful Cheers for your candle day!
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 7:57, archived)
Alright, youngster.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:02, archived)
CANDLES

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:53, archived)
Happy Candle day!

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:53, archived)
Cheers candles

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:55, archived)
Candles. Cheers.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 14:40, archived)
'noongles!
going to have a crack at Nashville hot chicken in bit, just back from spoons, u?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 14:38, archived)
Making pizza, drinking wine like the middle class ponce I am

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 14:49, archived)
upper middle class, surely
Cheers
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 14:57, archived)
People in that category either eat at fancy restaurants or employ a cook, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 31 Jul 2021, 17:13, archived)
Jeremy and Fiona. They have a personal chef three nights a week courtesy of Gregg who somehow found this absolutely wonderful woman who really ought to be working in a top Italian restaurant.
 
Sample dialogue:
 
“Tell me, have you ever tried pizza… with pineapple?”
“These days of course we only ever eat authentic, traditionally aged pasta. Like for instance this ravioli in real tomato sauce, which has been aged in this can.”
 
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 5:22, archived)
hope yer pizza goes well m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 15:09, archived)
Cheers matey

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 15:37, archived)
matey

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 5:43, archived)
Pizza update: it was ‘alright’
but the GF liked it so that’s what matters eh

#pizzachat
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 19:41, archived)
cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 31 Jul 2021, 20:42, archived)
C
h
E
ë
r
Ś
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 21:49, archived)
m
a
t
e
y
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 5:43, archived)
That's a result

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 22:00, archived)
Just arrived at my local after a herd days graft

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 15:13, archived)
And I been working like a hog

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 16:55, archived)
What's nashville hot chicken when it's at home?

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 15:34, archived)
it's the fucking tits, is what it is
www.allrecipes.com/recipe/254804/chef-johns-nashville-hot-chicken/
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Aug 2021, 8:54, archived)
By Less Than Jake?

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 15:37, archived)
FEWER than Jake

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 31 Jul 2021, 17:13, archived)
listening to disturbed and annoying americans
before going home to a few cold cans and serial killer documentaries
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 16:39, archived)
If they're disturbed then you probably shouldn't judge them for being annoying.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 31 Jul 2021, 17:48, archived)
more disturbing than disturbed

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 31 Jul 2021, 17:55, archived)

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