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Another glorious day in paradise
How is your week shaping up so far? Got anything interesting coming up?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 11:13, archived)

Shapely.
I have interesting plans to see a friend this evening for a drink, and then interesting plans later in the week to catch up with friends online who made the ridiculous decision to move to Edinburgh. Bastards.

"Interesting" is of course subjective, but you did ask.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 11:29, archived)

If it's interesting to you, then it's interesting to me
Sounds lovely
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 12:09, archived)

Interesting is subjective
but I've bought a second hand SDS drill/concrete breaker on ebay and some chisells and am looking fowrad to making dust, noise and a big old mess!
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 11:44, archived)

Cor, you'll be popular
NAHT! Haha like Wayne's World, remember?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 12:09, archived)

might shit my pants and see where that goes

(

$$ ✅, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 11:50, archived)

Down your leg, I imagine.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 11:58, archived)

Top tip
Start with shitting someone else's pants. Then you can get a feel for it without ruining your own slacks.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 12:10, archived)

interview on thursday
that's about it
(

theniwokeup has been awake since, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 13:46, archived)

morning

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 6:41, archived)

GOOD MORNING

(

vladimir, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 7:35, archived)

AVERAGE MORNING

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 7:50, archived)

Haha Hi!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:05, archived)

I'm a tad nonplussed to be honest
for me, carney is a derogatory term for a traveller so the headlines all over the news sites are a bit purturbing.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:09, archived)

as someone who doesn't really read the news
I was surprised the former governor of the bank of england is now a world leader
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:15, archived)

They've got a very good promotion scheeme.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:19, archived)

He's done pretty well for a pikey

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:22, archived)

If I was president of the USA
I'd be locking up all my bicycles right now and I'd put a fuck off tariff on clothes pegs and knife sharpening.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:35, archived)

Haha, socially acceptable racism!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:20, archived)

I like how Trump is helping to get left wing leaders elected
And pushing former enemies closer together. He truly is the great peacemaker.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:25, archived)

I can't wait for Liz Truss' new social network to launch
there are just so many things you can't say without being censored. Liz is, like, our Trump but better.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:34, archived)

I wonder if it will have a popular page
where all the best posts about popes and paedos can be highlighted for everyone.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:13, archived)

AND THAT IS A DISGRACE
*smiles*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:14, archived)

I'll pork your nan's cheese market IYKWIM

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:26, archived)

I do KWYM

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 10:11, archived)

Assuming it even happens
It will be short lived and hilarious
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:14, archived)

I absolutely can't wait!
I'd even pay to join...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:27, archived)

oh man up you big fucking woofter

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:16, archived)

I'm now singing Man Up Woofter
to the tune of Lip Up Fatty
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:28, archived)

Being a woofter is manly as fuck
What's more butch than fucking big burly men?
(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 12:55, archived)

yo

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:10, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:24, archived)

It's a beautiful day to be trapped inside staring at screens

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:25, archived)

That's amazing because it's also a beautiful day to be inside screaming at stairs.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:35, archived)

Motherfuckin' word an' shit, yo.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:01, archived)

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your saviour?

(

$$ ✅, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:21, archived)

I did, and it was sexy as fuck
Would recommend
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 9:28, archived)


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(

$$ ✅, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 10:08, archived)

Oh blimey, now you're getting me going
Rigid. Rigid is the word.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 10:14, archived)

I didn't vote for him

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 10:16, archived)

Are you sure?
Someone put a cross there and it wasn't me...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 11:43, archived)

The only cross I like is the one on my coffin backpack

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 13:10, archived)

Hello the Internetwork, Queef here, I've just invented a new form of lamb ice cream, whilst wearing my 1980s shoes and a rare 12" dobber on my head
/ac
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 15:39, archived)

HBF

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Apr 2025, 15:48, archived)

I fancy you
/ac
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 15:51, archived)

bollocks

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 15:56, archived)

"Hi, guntsniff's", surely.

(

.Yeti., Mon 28 Apr 2025, 15:56, archived)

LIES

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 16:28, archived)

honk!


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(

$$ ✅, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 16:55, archived)

Is the dobber vinyl?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 18:11, archived)

turtle power

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 8:16, archived)

Shut up Gerry Bednob

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 19:49, archived)

Lol nob

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 22:54, archived)

From the same list: Gerry Brady, Businessperson
CEO and Chairman of Tayto, the mutli talented Gerry rose through the ranks of the potato crisp manufacturers after
being spotted playing a small homeless street urchin seen by teenager Conor Brodie munching chips from a SheildInch bin.
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Apr 2025, 0:05, archived)

Has everyone been b& or has this place finally died on its arse?

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 13:26, archived)

I have no idea what's going on, if garold doesn't post the friday quiz at the end of the week I'm done here

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 13:36, archived)

THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS BREAKING DOWN

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 13:37, archived)

Alright, Strong Bad.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Apr 2025, 13:58, archived)

The Strong Bad Email series grew to be so popular that six DVDs featuring the emails have been released!!

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:10, archived)

I haven't

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 13:40, archived)

I posted the last thread, I was just waiting for someone else to have a turn.
I can take responsibility and post all the threads from now on if you'd prefer.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 13:48, archived)

Everyone is ignoring everyone else

(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 13:59, archived)

Sorry, wanking

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:05, archived)

Sorry been ill with the woke mind virus

(

$$ ✅, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:20, archived)

Don't lie, you've been wanking with Two Hats.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:25, archived)

That's what he meant

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:27, archived)

the stroke mind virus!

(

$$ ✅, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:33, archived)

I don't think it's possible for it to die
it's like a cock-obsessed cockroach made of meltymetal from the future
(

vladimir, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:50, archived)

any attempt to end it would result in it dragging itself back together again like mercury,
cricking its neck into place, and saying I need your clothes, your boots and your wanking jokes WAIT WAIT boots that sounds like boobs ahahahahaha
(

vladimir, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 14:53, archived)

Every account is just a Bou sockpuppet including yours.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 15:20, archived)

Morning morning morning
What's Monday got in store for you?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 7:33, archived)

existential dread

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 7:50, archived)

You’re old enough to deal with that now.
Existence is meaningless, get over it, have another biscuit.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:46, archived)

extraterrestrial dread

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:19, archived)

pestilential Dredd
I heard Karl Urban was coming back for a sequel, and I thought: about flipping time.
(

.Yeti., Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:40, archived)

I have been hearing that for a while
but until I actually see him on screen, scowling and sending perps to iso-cubes, I won't really believe it.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:07, archived)

Yeah, same.
It's like waiting for Silksong.
(

.Yeti., Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:09, archived)

I don't know why everyone is so head-over-heels for Silksong.
Hollow Knight was good but not that good, and spending six years buggering about with the sequel doesn't exactly bode well. Maybe it'll be great but I'm just not arsed.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:17, archived)

I didn't think I'd like Hollow Knight, but I really did
Remember to like, comment and subscribe for more hot takes
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:21, archived)

Going to have to disagree with you on that one.
HK's still one of my favourite games ever. I just think it's endlessly charming and its difficulty curve is pitched perfectly for a mediocre middle-aged gamer like me.
(

.Yeti., Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:23, archived)

I was put off my people saying how hard it was
But I got into it really quickly. As you say, the difficulty curve is quite gradual.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:26, archived)

If you ignore the gratuitously sadistic parts like the Path of Pain and the pantheons, it's a very enjoyable ride.
Even now, I can hear the ghost of Queef saying 'sToP tAlKiNg AbOuT 2D pLatFoRmErs!'
(

.Yeti., Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:45, archived)

existential delight

(

vladimir, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:50, archived)

haha just kidding. existential dread
(

vladimir, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:56, archived)

Is that like Angel Delight: Eternal Cosmic Void flavour?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:58, archived)

delicious, fluffy despair

(

vladimir, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 10:14, archived)

Turns out vladimir was the delight everyone was looking for all this time.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:17, archived)

awwwwww aaAAAaarrrRRrrrdvvaAarrrrkKKkkkk

(

vladimir, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 10:15, archived)

:D

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 10:24, archived)

Dreadlock holiday

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:50, archived)

Bumboclaat

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:04, archived)

I don't like cricket

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:06, archived)

boclaat

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:07, archived)

Rebuilding the porch so scouring Facebook Marketplace for stuff we'll need
Oh, and existential dread, of course. It's a Monday so we have that.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 8:58, archived)

extra-testicle Fred

(

$$ ✅, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:07, archived)

Dinenage or West?

(

Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:18, archived)

Dibnah

(

$$ ✅, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 10:26, archived)

www.lbc.co.uk/crime/serial-killer-rose-wests-underwear-to-go-on-public-display/
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:20, archived)

Have these been authenticated ?

(

$$ ✅, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 10:26, archived)

I'm authenticating them as I type this

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 11:38, archived)

Grateful Dread

(

Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:17, archived)

Existential dready brek
then a nice cup of ennui.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:22, archived)

Open wide.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 9:46, archived)

Apart from work, I don't know
Just go where the day takes me
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Apr 2025, 10:53, archived)

PUT IT DOWN, NOW GERRY!

(

PooPants, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 17:28, archived)

Calm down, Margot

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 17:35, archived)

give us a fucking clue, eh
www.ranker.com/list/famous-people-named-gerry/reference
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 18:17, archived)

Bollocks.

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 23:02, archived)

Lol Gerry Bednob

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 23:40, archived)

Rough in the Adams house , could never keep a kitchen timer his mum.

(

mongychops, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 18:22, archived)

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, little kid

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 18:59, archived)

Rafferty? Anderson? Adams?
We need answers
(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 19:18, archived)

We really don't
Which is okay, because none seem to be forthcoming anyway.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 20:00, archived)

Halliwell

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 20:11, archived)

paddy put the pipe down
if you got the right sound
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 20:38, archived)

lol ants

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 22:36, archived)

London Marathon
I entered a Marathon once... chocolate and peanuts all over my penis

#snickerslol
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 27 Apr 2025, 11:02, archived)

Went for a jog this morning
Came home after 3 miles. Not quite a "marathon" - but if I do that again nearly 9 times, I'd fucking smash it.
(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 11:52, archived)

so you did 6 miles surely

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 11:53, archived)

I see why you might think that
But I just teleported the last bit. I'm a wizard after all.
(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 12:21, archived)

very clever

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 12:49, archived)

it probably only seems clever if you're not a wizard, just like flying only seems clever if you don't have wings or an airplane
along with an airport obviously, and everything that entails, it's a lot
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:42, archived)

or i suppose he could have just walked back, or got a taxi or used his inflatable unicycle

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:52, archived)

Came home after 3 miles might mean, jogged in a circle which ended at his home
lol circle jog
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:59, archived)

i don't think it can mean that joggers are can't turn unassisted

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:02, archived)

i strongly suspect he has had one leg slightly shortened to enable circularity

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:28, archived)

dunno why he's bothering then he'll be disqualified from the olympics

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:38, archived)

Special Olympics mate

(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 18:37, archived)

i want you to notice
when i'm jogging around
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 21:35, archived)

He might have jogged up a hill and then rolled back down

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 20:12, archived)

I only run pedantathons myself

(

vladimir, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:04, archived)

sniggers lol

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 11:52, archived)

Bit edgy m8

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:57, archived)

bit clarkson i no

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:04, archived)

srsly tho where's queef did he eat himself

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:36, archived)

1337 himself, lol

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:37, archived)

brb nawty stepped him

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:57, archived)

terrible abuse of power

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:32, archived)

- power
+ children
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:36, archived)

He ran away with the circus

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 13:59, archived)

he's gone to links?

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:04, archived)

Marathon? Pah!
Ultra marathons are where it’s at
(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:48, archived)

what about uber marathons
last one cost me a fucking fortune
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:54, archived)

I remember some dickhead at a talk work organised said
"Your career is a marathon and not a sprint."

Angers me to this day.
(

$$ ✅, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 17:26, archived)

there's not even a chocolate bar called a sprint
what the fuck was he talking about
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 21:38, archived)

Dawn fingered Rosie or something
It's a new day!
(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 7:25, archived)

I've been awake for over 2 hours
Can't sleep properly with this stupid fucking blood pressure monitor on
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 7:36, archived)

Angry enough about it to mess with the measurement?

(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 8:25, archived)

Quite possibly

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 9:42, archived)

Happy Day of the Uprising Against the Occupying Forces to our Slovenian friends

(

$$ ✅, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 9:25, archived)

b3ta.com/partiallyrememberedGarthMarenghiquotes

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 9:39, archived)

Time for sleeping
/END OF LINE
(

Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:17, archived)

get another bag in you lightweight

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:38, archived)

colostomy?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:58, archived)

no m8

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 23:18, archived)

Bollocks

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 1:40, archived)

ball

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 0:16, archived)

what's the weather like right now wherever you are
here: overcast, although by clouds a long way up, so like being under a very high roof in a cathedral dedicated to a deity of greyness. chiffchaffs and robins singing. a wood pigeon hoo-hooing. the very slightest breeze, moving only the ends of branches
(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:12, archived)

the back door is open, humid breeze coming in, i can hear some kind of electronic alarm in the distance, beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:14, archived)

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:18, archived)

beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep beep beep
beep sheep beep
beep beep beep
(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:19, archived)

WAIT WHERE DID THEY COME FROM

(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:19, archived)

i was counting beeps to get to sleep and it was interrupted by a sheep

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:20, archived)

I told the sheep they'd made me saaaaaaad
the sheep said that was just too baaaaaad
I realised then I had begun
to speak like them. I tried to run
but the duvet I was wrapped beneath
was now my woolly, heavy fleece
I staggered outside to find grass
and now I sleep in fields at last
(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:34, archived)

really dreadful lack of appreciation for the excellence of this
but I forgive you all
(

vladimir, Sun 27 Apr 2025, 14:04, archived)

might beep a bird

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 18:35, archived)

alright "the Pussycat Dolls"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 19:33, archived)

it's the beep beep beep of the baby and the cash machine

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 19:54, archived)

Overcast and slightly chilly
Going to buy a washing machine
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 14:26, archived)

buy a weathermachine while you're at it
that way you'll always have nice clean clothes and exactly the kind of day you'd like
(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 14:32, archived)

The constant thunderstorms would probably annoy everyone else

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 14:39, archived)

haha but they'd be wrong

(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 15:12, archived)

I fucking love a good thunderstorm

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 20:51, archived)

/Zeus

(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:40, archived)

yeah, it's nice out

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 15:05, archived)

lovely

(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 15:12, archived)

It's an absolute belter of a day.
I'm off to the park to read my book.
(

.Yeti., Sat 26 Apr 2025, 15:38, archived)

fabulous, perfect, no notes

(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 17:45, archived)

the book is Jimmy Savile's autobiography

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 18:01, archived)

The book is The Bumper B3ta Book of Sick Jokes

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 20:09, archived)

What's the book?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 20:14, archived)

I reckon it's Yeti's diary
one should always have something sensational to read in the park
(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 20:22, archived)

Wouldn't be my diary, then
Tedium, work, parents and dealing with the mental. Nobody wants that.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 20:50, archived)

:(((

(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:40, archived)

I think you just described all of your posts on b3ta

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 23:07, archived)

Not saying, only because someone on here would spoil the ending for me.
I know what /talk is like.
(

.Yeti., Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:17, archived)

Magwitch it's MAGWITCH Magwitch is his benefactor!!!
(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:39, archived)

Count Fosco is a wrong'un!!!!!
(

vladimir, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:47, archived)

and it was all a dream

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 22:42, archived)

BELLWHIFF

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 26 Apr 2025, 11:40, archived)

FLANGEHONK

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 11:54, archived)

to the tune of MMMBop

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 11:55, archived)

You know what you wanna do with that right, you wanna put a FLANGEHONK on it!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:43, archived)

Happy World Intellectual Property Day, m8!

(

$$ ✅, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 11:55, archived)

🎉

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:03, archived)

lol horn

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:23, archived)

Haha oh god here we go!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:40, archived)

lol Two Hats sounds like twats lol

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:44, archived)

You fucking rascal

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:46, archived)

lol fuck

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:51, archived)

lol king

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:12, archived)

🤯

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 12:53, archived)

m8 it is mad here

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 13:21, archived)

Vir-gone-ia Giuffre

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 8:42, archived)

Virginia Guff-fried

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 9:08, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/careful-now-yFiAmqZ
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 9:27, archived)

😱
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 10:21, archived)

And good morning to you, too

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 10:06, archived)

Ex-trafficked

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 26 Apr 2025, 10:31, archived)

GUNTSTENCH

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Apr 2025, 20:15, archived)

Alright Queef....
wha-wha-wha-wha-WHAAAAAAT????
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 20:49, archived)

bollocks

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 21:01, archived)

you're not my real queef

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 21:21, archived)

lol

(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 22:42, archived)

I think I've got an 8. TUNGSTEN

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 21:36, archived)

looks like dozer and brb are also missing
maybe the three of them are in some kind of ring
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 22:45, archived)

do you think they might be all the same person

(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 23:04, archived)

a ringofyre, maybe

(

.Yeti., Sat 26 Apr 2025, 1:37, archived)

:(

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 26 Apr 2025, 2:34, archived)

I'm struggling to masturbate correctly!
What really did happen to queef 🥰🫴💦
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:34, archived)

what does 'correctly' mean in this context?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:40, archived)

Exactly
Only queef can sort it out
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:41, archived)

only smarties have the answer

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:43, archived)

LOL shave

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:46, archived)

that's you out then

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:46, archived)

yeah I stopped buying them when they changed the colours

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:50, archived)

brb claxon
Sweetie giving nonce fuck
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:51, archived)

more a brb racism klaxxon because they stopped doing brown ones
tbh
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 18:17, archived)

out?
b3ta.com/talk/8445039
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:51, archived)

He's gone to a Northern Soul weekender

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:41, archived)

Sounds gay

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:41, archived)

I love it

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:42, archived)

Well it does involve an awful lot of talcum powder

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:49, archived)

LOL
cum
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:52, archived)

Oh COME ON

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:58, archived)

Jizzus Christ
I'm sorry
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:59, archived)

I hope he doesn't get into trouble with any more mods.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Apr 2025, 18:12, archived)

LOL
pehedo
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 18:14, archived)

Fucking mods. Bunch of cunts. Either do the job or don't. I'm going to work to find out who they are and remove the fingers from all dogs arses for good

(

mongychops, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 18:06, archived)

LOL
finger
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 18:10, archived)

the mods are at your work?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 18:17, archived)

well they've got to be somewhere
cos they sure as shit aren't here
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 18:25, archived)

They are, they are just lurking pervert gay fish

(

mongychops, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 19:16, archived)

kanye is a mod?

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 19:50, archived)

Good place to start

(

mongychops, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 19:14, archived)

Tree out of severn shit bum willy poo poo
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp91v5kj12zo
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:58, archived)

IT'S BEER OF THE WICKY WACKY NIKKY NAKKY COCK COCK COCK COCK COCK
in other news i bought 6 scratchcards, i never buy them, but today i've made an exception. subscribe to this comment for my post scratch update
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:04, archived)

update
now i have bits of silver crap everywhere.
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:17, archived)

-now
-have bits of silver crap everywhere.
+ am a cunt
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:28, archived)

the clue's in the name

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:30, archived)

2/7 getting a pube stuck in your teeth when you haven't even been performing oral sex

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:05, archived)

5/7 the perfect score

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:21, archived)

-sc +b

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:25, archived)

4/7

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:33, archived)

I'm all about the NYT mini crossword
www.nytimes.com/crosswords/game/mini
(

$$ ✅, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 15:30, archived)

if there's no cash prize i'm not interested
also i'm not interested
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 15:32, archived)

Spoken like someone who just wasted money on 6 scratchcards and didn't win a thing.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 15:58, archived)

i did actually
i won £2. so there. bet you feel silly now.
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 16:13, archived)

I do. I made an erroneous assumption and now I am a prize tit.
Congratulations on your win.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 16:27, archived)

thank you.
i feel like i've won twice. must be my lucky day.
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 16:29, archived)

how much did the 6 scratchcards cost?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 16:36, archived)

i'm currently running at a loss, yes.

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 16:48, archived)

cool

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:15, archived)

I feel we should take turns in stepping up to provide the valuable service that Queef usually supplies.
With that said, GUFFCHEESE.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:33, archived)

I'm going to a posh restaurant later

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:45, archived)

not really SMELLWANK

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:45, archived)

I’m going to have a posh wank later

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:47, archived)

Alright David Beckham

(

Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:33, archived)

BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:18, archived)

+TOUCHER

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 17:40, archived)

+50p

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 21:20, archived)

I went on holiday recently
And found a shop called "Mr Dick's Sexy Bakery". Is that alright?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:47, archived)

I don't know is this?
*does this*
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:53, archived)

*bakes sexily*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:22, archived)

Breadcock Holiday

(

Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:33, archived)

Oh bravo
Or brava, apologies, I don't want to assume your gender
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:34, archived)

I just spent £60 on a 7" of some obscure 80's rapper

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:54, archived)

less than £10 per inch!

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:07, archived)

Ch’eers

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:57, archived)

Woo-Hah!! Mám vás všechny
^ Woo-Hah!! Got You All, in Czech
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:05, archived)

Czech mate

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:25, archived)

i collected these ' ' ' ' ' '

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:11, archived)

I've just bought a thing
it's some super high-tech guitar amp with digital modelling and stuff. I'm kind of excited but also a teeny weeny bit guilty at splashing the cash... even though I'd sold another amp to buy it.

Have you spaffed money spuriously on something sexy recently?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:06, archived)

has nobody said anything good since the almond milk thing, oh come on

(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:10, archived)

The popular page moves much more slowly than it used to.
I think this is because we're a much more discerning audience these days, and definitely not because we're all a bunch of dried-up, aging, unfunny, tedious bastards.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:16, archived)

:) knew I'd come back to exactly the right place
(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:19, archived)

i remember when all you had to do was ask to be on the popular page
and all the comments below your request would be popular paged instead.

happy days.
(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 15:33, archived)

oh sorry some nice crisps

(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:10, archived)

How nice?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:25, archived)

honey and mustard, some french brand, if I tell you I am considering driving back there to buy all the remaining stock
because facing the rest of my life without them is...upsetting
does that give you a sense of the situation in terms of how nice
(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:41, archived)

vlad are you still writing about the crisps vlad are you tho
yes of course I am fuck off
(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:41, archived)

pay no attention it's the crisps talking

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:12, archived)

pffffft

(

vladimir, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:13, archived)

willo the crisp

(

MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 15:37, archived)

What one?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:16, archived)

And to answer your question, yes

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:17, archived)

This 'un
www.guitarguitar.co.uk/product/240119418322008--positive-grid-spark-live-4-channel-smart-amp-pa-system
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:26, archived)

Oh nice
I like their stuff. I considered getting the little Vai one
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:37, archived)

They are doing this one the 65w version ex-demo
I said it was just a bit cheaper than they were offering the brand new one so they said they'd drop it to £359. www.guitarguitar.co.uk/product/240910429315020-18387412--positive-grid-spark-edge-ex-demo-s6511g
Still 3 year warranty. If you're interested just ask them in the online chat, they'll do you a quote.

I thought I'd pay an extra hundred and have something I could possibly do a small gig with though so went for the next model up.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:32, archived)

A night in a nice hotel
But it wasn't sexy
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:35, archived)

Not even when they folded the end of the toilet roll paper?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:26, archived)

They didn't

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:45, archived)

Well, that's where they missed a trick
a bit of bog-roll origami get's me in the mood for lurve.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 13:56, archived)

I was with my best friend
Definitely not feeling romantic towards her
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 14:30, archived)

Worcester Bosch Greenstar 4000 combi boiler

(

$$ ✅, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:40, archived)

Fucking hell, now THAT'S living

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:27, archived)

+ alright
Alright Jimmy Nail
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:47, archived)

What, like some sex, for example?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:41, archived)

Well, that's an example. A sexy one.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:27, archived)

PHWOAR!

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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Apr 2025, 12:32, archived)

Has anyone said morning yet?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 25 Apr 2025, 6:49, archived)

no. nobody. i'm scared.

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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 7:08, archived)

Not Queef, lol

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.Yeti., Fri 25 Apr 2025, 7:20, archived)

Not allowed to
You'll get stepped
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 7:29, archived)

I'll risk it
morning
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broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 7:58, archived)

You maniac

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 8:06, archived)

no reply. I guess broadsword's dead then

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:40, archived)

died doing what he loves best, eating chocolate digestives off a homeless man's taint as originally intended by the biscuit creators

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$$ ✅, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 10:29, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8444962
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 10:31, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8444964
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Cheers Cheers, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 10:38, archived)

yes

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Cheers Cheers, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 8:08, archived)

Yet

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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 8:30, archived)

¥en

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 8:43, archived)

Has anyone said "Des Lynam jizzed on my nan and she gave him a Tunnock's teacake as a reward" yet?

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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 8:52, archived)

I'm going to blow your mind here
But you just said it. You did.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:03, archived)

Like, whoa.

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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:17, archived)

~~woah~~ comment and subscribe
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:35, archived)

I’m smashing my bell as I type this

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Cheers Cheers, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:53, archived)

no, too busy eating chocolate digestives off a homeless man's taint as originally intended by the biscuit creators

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$$ ✅, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:40, archived)

That's called "Peek Freaning"

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:51, archived)

Hobonobs

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Cheers Cheers, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 9:54, archived)

The Littlest Hobonob

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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 11:10, archived)

You have

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 25 Apr 2025, 10:06, archived)

Well Queef has been stepped
And I for one hope he's permanently banned. His reign of terror has been stymied. STYMIED.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:18, archived)

well deep throat me with a courgette and call me sally

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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:25, archived)

No m8

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:30, archived)

oh go on

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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:47, archived)

in america courgettes are called eggplants, but actual eggs are called cloacal divestments

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:50, archived)

shit yourself, bumhole.

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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:51, archived)

bumholes are called fanny packs

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:53, archived)

well that's just typical

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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:18, archived)

Yes, and cat flaps are called pussy holes

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:54, archived)

I'm learning so much today

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:36, archived)

was it because of the jazz

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:41, archived)

Imagine if I did a strikey g here

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:37, archived)

Shame, I wanted to get in touch with him about a 7" I got recently that he might be interested in.
'No Smell Out' by Keith le Wanc.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:03, archived)

Sounds awful
He'd love it
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:37, archived)

how do you know that?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:13, archived)

probably owns a dictionary or some shite

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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:33, archived)

I lease with an option to buy

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:38, archived)

alrite Dido

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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:42, archived)

Alright

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 22:11, archived)

Fucken psychic ain't I

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:37, archived)

Not really
I'm a secret mod, and I stepped him lol
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:37, archived)

well who is going to be the secret mod now?
no don't tell me
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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:43, archived)

;)

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vladimir, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 22:46, archived)

Was it because of his relentless autisming about people's tastes in music?

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.Yeti., Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:38, archived)

It's not that
But it's also not not that
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 20:38, archived)

stepping is too good for him

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 22:38, archived)

Pushing that smegg down the board
I'm going to the Jazz Cafe l8r, which you could strikey-g into 'the Jizz Cafe'!!

That would be so lol
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:06, archived)

I strikey-g-d it into 'jizzul8'

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:20, archived)

I g-struck the whole thing into 'a Northern Soul gig'.

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.Yeti., Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:27, archived)

Wigan Casino All Nighter?

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:56, archived)

Haha, can you imagine
Instead of a "slice of cake" it would be something like "spunky spunky spunky" or summat, I dunno, I'm not good at this sort of thing
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:28, archived)

hahaha that would be really silly because
who would eat a slice of cake iced with spunk
ahahahaha
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vladimir, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:40, archived)

Haha I don't know I think I'd try it haha

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:42, archived)

that would be quite the themed week on the bake off program wouldn't it ahahaha
"this week, it's spunk!" oh ho ho ha ha ha, imagine
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vladimir, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 16:02, archived)

OK, I've just imagined Paul Hollywood doing a big spunk all over Mary Berry's tits. What now?

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 16:04, archived)

clean yourself up
and start again
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$$ ✅, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 16:22, archived)

Not Simon Reynolds's best book, that.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 24 Apr 2025, 18:11, archived)

Sounds more like a Smegg Wallace thing to do.

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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 24 Apr 2025, 17:09, archived)

just properly laughed out loud in fact thank you

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vladimir, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 18:07, archived)

is that something you've been trying to do for a long time?
how do you normally laugh haha-neeugh-hehe-hahanuegh?
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MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 19:05, archived)

it's too complicated to explain at this time of night but thank you for asking

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vladimir, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 22:47, archived)

Alright Howard Moon

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 15:50, archived)

sho me ur peanus plz

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$$ ✅, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 16:11, archived)

Sure
🍄‍🟫
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 16:33, archived)

mushroom brown, texture like sun

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 17:36, archived)

Lays me down, in my bum he cums

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 21:07, archived)

🥜🥜

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 16:44, archived)

That might be tricky unless you've got a scanning electron microscope to hand lol

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 16:47, archived)

Alright Kanye

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mongychops, Thu 24 Apr 2025, 18:42, archived)

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