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morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 1:20, Reply)
evening

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 1:34, Reply)
night

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 3:47, Reply)
CHEESE IT

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:07, Reply)
RUMBLED!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 12:23, Reply)
Already?
Going back to bed
(I helped save b3ta! fross Read your email on, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:40, Reply)
Lazy sunday

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:29, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 8:44, Reply)
I've just bought some new trousers in Cheshire.
Altrincham?

No, they fit perfectly!!!
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:30, Reply)
Knutsford?
They are a little snug, yes
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:41, Reply)
Chester?

I barely know 'er!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 9:51, Reply)

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 10:43, Reply)
Failed on all points, about to get b&

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 10:48, Reply)
If any of that were even remotely enforced, /talk would have been shut down a decade ago.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:10, Reply)
alright will

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 11:34, Reply)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 12:02, Reply)
Paul McKarkney

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:58, Reply)
Liam GallAAAARGHer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:01, Reply)
Ringtone Starr

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:10, Reply)
lol autocorrect

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:19, Reply)
Well I'm still proud of it

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:16, Reply)
Damn you for getting my hopes up. 😕

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:02, Reply)
You're just jealous because you don't have a brother who calls your children and threatens them with violence

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:37, Reply)
I'm assuming

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 21:08, Reply)
I'm mr horrible

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 23:41, Reply)
let it all out babez

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 0:24, Reply)
If we're doing confessions: I'm quite clever and have many plain t-shirts

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 0:25, Reply)
Iggy Popped his clogs

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:06, Reply)
Dr DOA

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:08, Reply)
Ringo Startingtorot

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:33, Reply)
David Bowingout

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:34, Reply)
No Moreissey

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:39, Reply)
<s>u</s> l

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 13:41, Reply)
I bagsy posting 'deeper underground' when jay kay carks it

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:00, Reply)
Dead Sheeran

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:51, Reply)
Macklenomore

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:52, Reply)
alright the Proclaimers

(piss and shit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 18:18, Reply)
Corpsey Taylor

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 19:47, Reply)
morning bogwoppits

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 5:59, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 6:18, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 6:22, Reply)
fuck off then

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
What are bogwoppits, are they an inbred mountain tribe from deepest Wakistan?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 7:01, Reply)
fucking hell
I remember reading that as a kid
(piss and shit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 9:43, Reply)
Didn't read it, but it was on Jackanory
- nothing but the name and the illustration stuck in my head
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 9:53, Reply)
I've never heard of it
#bookchat
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:17, Reply)
A novel by Stephen King, quite well known really

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:51, Reply)
Fascinatingly, I read a few of his books when I was young, but not It.
Never seen any of the adaptations either.

#bookchat #b3tatalkcontent #thatsinterestinghedgehog
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:16, Reply)
I’ve read most of the early ones but lost interest later on
Love all the adaptations though, even the cheesy low-budget ones.
Also The Shining is my all time favourite film
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:40, Reply)
The Shining also one of my favourite films.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:55, Reply)
I very much like The Shining, one of the few adaptations that's better than the book.
Even if chinless cokeface famously disagrees.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:02, Reply)
It's a masterpiece.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:08, Reply)
You can easily skip 400 pages from the middle of IT
And it won't make a bit of fucking difference to the story
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:00, Reply)
The bit where they gangbang the 12 year old girl?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:03, Reply)
That counts for a few pages, yes

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 16:30, Reply)
Me either
It looks like it was popular with a few of us though.
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:54, Reply)
So is racism, so it's not a great recommendation

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 12:03, Reply)
I thought they were from Mongololololia

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 8:42, Reply)
alright Ricky Gervais, you haven't been funny since Extras.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:10, Reply)

Extras birth
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 10:17, Reply)
Seconded

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:42, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 8:39, Reply)
Sounds a bit racist

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:03, Reply)
Yeah, I was going to say that.
It is a bit brb-klaxony.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
if you were Irish-Italian, I imagine it would be triggering.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:17, Reply)
ciao patata

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 14:57, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 11:15, Reply)
OH PISS OFF

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:41, Reply)

O
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
This is terrifically rude.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:23, Reply)
i know

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:19, Reply)
Stephanie Cold

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:35, Reply)
Stiffanie

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 19:03, Reply)
To where?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:45, Reply)
upsetting news?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 19:17, Reply)

n j
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:59, Reply)
piss related?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 22:02, Reply)
PISS OFF NEXT TO ME

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:05, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:59, Reply)
OK, this is lol.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 18 Sep 2026, 21:13, Reply)
Why?
What has happened to make you feel this negative? I get it, life sometimes kicks you in the spuds, but is it anything we can help with?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 23:40, Reply)
you could try pissing off

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 23:57, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:25, Reply)
Parp
I need to start making more money
Beans again
("TEMU Bou", Sat 19 Sep 2026, 15:44, Reply)
you're going to sell beans?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 20 Sep 2026, 21:19, Reply)
No I can only afford beans for dinner
Hence my obsession with farting
Parp
("TEMU Bou", Mon 21 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
Overdue afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:56, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:11, Reply)
Shove it up your ring piece, fuckwit

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:15, Reply)
SEX PEST BEBBEH!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:18, Reply)
DD52S

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:26, Reply)
Use your membership ID as shown on your membership ID card. If you are using the membership ID found in the address portion of your SOARING magazine, DO NOT enter the preceding zeros.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:29, Reply)
SOARING magazine

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:30, Reply)
MOTHERFUCKERS BE SOARIN

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:33, Reply)
THEY SEE ME SOARIN', THEY HATIN'

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:45, Reply)
DO NOT enter the preceding zeros

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:47, Reply)
Pay attention 7, it's not a toy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:38, Reply)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the ze

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:39, Reply)
ps I did it again

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:41, Reply)
bi-Wan never told you what happened to your father

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
More like SORE RING magazine, round these parts, eh pals?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:34, Reply)
00

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:40, Reply)
There's an 'le in the zone layer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 18:14, Reply)
Two Hundred Leagues Under The Sea

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:36, Reply)
arseboon overduo

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:14, Reply)
Sounds like some sort of 1990s authentication method

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:15, Reply)
I see you too have been cursed by Duo MFA
Duo MFA being my favorite member of Wu-Tang Clan
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:20, Reply)
ODBC

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:26, Reply)
on RedHat/CentOS sudo yum install unixODBC unixODBC-devel

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:32, Reply)
on Windows you RUN CMD

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:27, Reply)
It's tricky.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:34, Reply)
You can't grow a neckbeard with commands like that

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:45, Reply)
C.R.E.A.M.
Cheers Reads Eggy Arsehole Monthly
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:33, Reply)
So do I

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:35, Reply)
+Sm

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:35, Reply)
it's for albuwomen and albumen

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:38, Reply)
Different yolks for different folks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:41, Reply)
Comes with a cardboard binder that holds up to 12 issues

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:50, Reply)
I tried to track down the publisher but it's just a shell company

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:55, Reply)
It's ok but it doesn't really cater to my Humpty Dumpty fetish

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:56, Reply)
You need to get ova that

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:29, Reply)
Guess what I've got on my face

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:42, Reply)
You’re damn right I do

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 17:03, Reply)
1980s supercar

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:00, Reply)
#infest

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Sep 2026, 0:32, Reply)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:49, Reply)
getting on the dizzyade for Peter Shilton's birthday
get invovled
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:43, Reply)
Peter Shiltoff amirite

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:46, Reply)
tilted and shilted

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:58, Reply)
Fizzy egg juice?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 16:30, Reply)
Fucking shitty wanky 2 / 7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmgrvdyxwz0go
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:25, Reply)
4/7 Horsing around
Probably the first time at this that I wish I'd done less well, because getting a score of 'Flogging a dead horse' would just have been too perfect for this place.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:35, Reply)
May I humbly suggest the noble medium of Outright Lies?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
My god, you're right.
I'd never even thought of that. As anathematic as the very idea sounds, I think this might be an arguable case for lying on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 18 Sep 2026, 15:11, Reply)
2/7 fuck a horse

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:40, Reply)
Slingshot Homolog

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:10, Reply)
By which I mean 1/7

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:04, Reply)
Who's ever heard of any of the TV shows that win shit?
Or Sydney Sweeney, who apparently the only time anybody cares to mention her existence is in relation to what clothes are worn or not in an advert?
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:06, Reply)
She has big tits tho

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:09, Reply)
I mean, its probably not unfair to say that's true of around a quarter of the population of the planet

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:40, Reply)
You nasty little sex pest

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:48, Reply)
Less of the little

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:50, Reply)
Christ remember when orange faced sex pest only meant forum user SikRik

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:55, Reply)
He's the president now

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 20:01, Reply)
Actually she has an oversized unibreast which is separated into two distinct sub-units via a cunning mechanism and AI

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:11, Reply)
3/7 Dead Van Dyke

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:45, Reply)
3/7 hot horny horse action

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:24, Reply)
3/7 Bob Holness nip slip pics

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:24, Reply)
Cor

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:29, Reply)
It's AI, you can tell

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:48, Reply)
Slingshot homolog

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:59, Reply)
4/7 Feeling a little horse

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:26, Reply)
1/7, a new low

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 12:51, Reply)
Why the long face?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:12, Reply)
Donkey shit is like horse shit
🥷🏻
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:59, Reply)
5/7 getting an extra packet of salt in your Salt ‘n’ Shake crisps
Best result in ages and they were all guesses.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:21, Reply)
Congratulations!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 13:23, Reply)
4/7 smeggy bread

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:53, Reply)
4/7 - Wild guesses drag me away

("TEMU Bou", Fri 18 Sep 2026, 14:56, Reply)
4 across (3)(5)
Key West Florida fire chief and convicted drug dealer, went missing Feb 1976
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:34, Reply)
Funny name corner.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:37, Reply)
arseboon farto

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:38, Reply)
arsebum dilfarto

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSH1
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:43, Reply)
I'm seeing Slingshot Homolog at Infest!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:11, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post2636913
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)
Wee Plops

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:39, Reply)
Wee plopper girl jappers

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:58, Reply)
and their hit 'wee stule'

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:59, Reply)
Ass Gassy

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:35, Reply)
Night

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:45, Reply)
Night

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 1:04, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:07, Reply)
Morning, morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:08, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 9:50, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 5:46, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 6:13, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:00, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:08, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
bumflaps

(piss and shit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:12, Reply)
There's always one, isn't there. 🙄

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:09, Reply)
I think you'll find there are normally two, the clue's in the pluralisation

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:11, Reply)
If he had any honour he’d delete his post and restore the beauty of this morning chevron

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 8:14, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:08, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 7:11, Reply)
Fucking get in, unexpected 13% payrise.
Finally, a salary that starts with a 3!
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 10:29, Reply)

p g
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:12, Reply)
unexgected

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:13, Reply)
Alright monster munch

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 11:34, Reply)
Bum Farto yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:47, Reply)
Cor!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:20, Reply)

um Farto oondocks,
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:23, Reply)
People put me down because that's the side of town I was born in

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:45, Reply)
Love a bit of Bum Farto

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:30, Reply)
If you insist

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 13:33, Reply)
to the tune of 'So Macho'

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:24, Reply)
Tried to return my used Scooby-Doo pants today.
Would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky skids.
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:54, Reply)
^2 in the jinkies 1 in the stinkies

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 15:07, Reply)
Now that's a scrappy doo

(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:14, Reply)
- Raggy?
- No, they're intact!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:17, Reply)
Fucking lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:16, Reply)
Apologies, I’ve been too busy to participate in this, the most Bum Farto of threads on /chat
I’ve let myself down, but more importantly I’ve let Bum Farto down
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:13, Reply)
I seem to remember you were a bit lukewarm about Dick Butkus, you seem to have a problem with strong manly men

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:32, Reply)
It’s why I rarely post on /links

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:19, Reply)
and yet here you are looking into my eyes and talking to me

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 21:32, Reply)
Nobody is lukewarm about Dick Butkus

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 22:38, Reply)
Not on my watch!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:04, Reply)
Too tired

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 18:23, Reply)
You're probably jest-lagged

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 19:01, Reply)
I'm just pissed off
Found out today that I don't just have a hernia, I also have gallstones, which are the likely culprit of my very painful trapped wind. I've now been referred to 2 surgeons because I need 2 operations.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 19:56, Reply)
On the plus side, gall bladder is usually done laparoscopically, very short recovery time, and you'll probably have a bunch of minor ailments improve afterwards

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:10, Reply)
I hope so
Mum had gallstones, the second they cut into her, she turned yellow. Jaundice. She was stuck in for 9 days. Still, it's been at least a couple of years since I had surgery, I was almost beginning to miss it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:31, Reply)
shite innit
Gallstone or hernia, both are fucking awful
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 22:09, Reply)
I'm not bothered about the surgery
I just get stabby about the pain
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 1:04, Reply)
Dunno, what are his policies?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:11, Reply)
Unsure, but I suspect they’re mostly fart-right

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 20:20, Reply)
He blew off a lot of competition to get the nomination

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 21:32, Reply)
His nomination filled a hole

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 23:00, Reply)
it was a stop-gap measure

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Sep 2026, 0:22, Reply)
FFS let's do this properly. Morning.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:22, Reply)
Replying in the Official Morning Thread™️

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:30, Reply)
Awarding a 100% authentic morning back.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:46, Reply)
Anyone for a pokey bumwank?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:54, Reply)
Not on halfcock titmeat day

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:31, Reply)
Garold.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:48, Reply)
Aardvark

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:54, Reply)
Always believe in your saroul

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:58, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:52, Reply)
Good morning
how's the lurgy now? Antibionics done their work?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:55, Reply)
Yep
Just got off the phone with the doctor's, this trapped wind needs sorting and I need a referral for the hiatus hernia which is probably the case of it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:17, Reply)
like this?
www.youtube.com/shorts/wQC1_ynbDYs
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:19, Reply)
Not quite

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:26, Reply)
Bum Farto

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 15:23, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:54, Reply)
Hiyas

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:55, Reply)
can't believe I missed the Bum Farto thread

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:58, Reply)
There’ll be another one along soon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:09, Reply)
There'll probably be two at the same time eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 10:45, Reply)
There'll be loads, like in that film, Blazing Fartos

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:33, Reply)
Donnie Farto

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 14:28, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:05, Reply)
look for this mark to ensure your morning thread is 100% authentic

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:05, Reply)
skid +

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 10:46, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:23, Reply)
"My name? Yes, it's G. O. Storm."

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:25, Reply)
I'm not original at all.
I shall go and flagellate myself until I come up with something funny.
b3ta.com/talk/8445759

with something funny Queef's mum
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:55, Reply)
Morning

("TEMU Bou", Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:53, Reply)
Morning indeed

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:56, Reply)
Bum Farto y/n

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 11:17, Reply)
y

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:00, Reply)
No need for the objectifying language mate, take it elsewhere.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 12:00, Reply)
Even if you would, he probably would.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 16:52, Reply)
y

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 17:35, Reply)
No Ethel, Stop!

(I helped save b3ta! Cock, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 23:46, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 4:51, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 6:50, Reply)
Oh crap, not Ethel again

("TEMU Bou", Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:52, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bum_Farto
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 20:55, Reply)
Bum Farto's disappearance did not cause a stink

(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 16 Sep 2026, 21:04, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PARP7
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 16 Sep 2026, 21:59, Reply)
That's proper lol.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Sep 2026, 21:12, Reply)
alright George, leave it alone now, Disney's in charge

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 21:32, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8480131
(piss and shit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 22:20, Reply)
This is the internet we were promised
Declared dead "for probate purposes", all very Douglas Adams
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 22:36, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Assman
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 23:19, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty_Kuntz
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 23:20, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 23:21, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucky_Gunts
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 23:42, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smeggy_Dildo
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 17 Sep 2026, 7:03, Reply)
😂

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 8:20, Reply)
"The coach has been the subject of sophomoric humor"
they've got us sussed lads.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:04, Reply)

LMAO at this thread
("TEMU Bou", Thu 17 Sep 2026, 9:31, Reply)
Gonnie Greer
Bonnie Oh dear
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:59, Reply)
She was really cool and I'm genuinely a bit sad that she's carked it.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 14:01, Reply)
Bonne Nuit Greer

(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 16 Sep 2026, 14:28, Reply)
Bonnie Turning Blue

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 14:37, Reply)
Bonnie Greer Y/N?
N
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 14:57, Reply)
Please go easy on the misogynistic "I would" type posts whenever a picture of an attractive lady is posted on the board. Not only can it get a bit tiresome, but it can be intimidating and unwelcoming for a lot of lady boarders. Besides, even if you would,

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Sep 2026, 15:08, Reply)
SHE WOULDN'T, OK??

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 15:38, Reply)
she couldn't say no

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 15:55, Reply)
Hi guys!!!!!
Day off today, don't know what to do with it. Any ideas?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:40, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8485596
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:40, Reply)
hack off your knob and bollocks with a rusty penknife and shove them up your fucking arse

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:41, Reply)
Get some therapy with your wife
www.youtube.com/shorts/mBSyxJJBI7M?feature=share
Haven't laughed this much in a long time
("TEMU Bou", Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:59, Reply)
Put apostrophes in words unnecessarily.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:46, Reply)
a's's

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:51, Reply)
w’o’r’d’s

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:52, Reply)
Hang yourself.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:50, Reply)
I HEARD HE WAS WELL HUNG ALREADY

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:52, Reply)
BIG WET MEAT

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:04, Reply)
Exude meat sweats and bottle them as barbecue sauce.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:58, Reply)
Come up with some amusing new combinations of terms for genitals with terms for secretions, dairy products or odours?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:06, Reply)
Stinky cuntmilk

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:08, Reply)
Comin' from the body heat

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:34, Reply)
But that's your answer to everything.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Sep 2026, 15:07, Reply)
Interfere with an animal, sexually

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:06, Reply)
Cream off a coromrant?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:15, Reply)
what's tha?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:32, Reply)
It's a type of syth

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:33, Reply)
Go to the zoo
And wank in front of the chimps. If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:54, Reply)
Sounds a bit Dodgy to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:56, Reply)
Only if he sticks his cock through the bars

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 14:02, Reply)
I like this

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 16:37, Reply)
I feel I've not got a reference

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 20:07, Reply)
Sounds like you spent too much time staying out for the summer

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 20:11, Reply)
new phone who dis

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 16:14, Reply)
new phone who dis

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 16:14, Reply)
new phone who dis

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 17:07, Reply)
new phone who pis

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 18:05, Reply)
what?

(piss and shit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 19:46, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 4:41, Reply)
morning morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 5:22, Reply)
No sae hard Larry!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 5:25, Reply)
Thanks

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 5:32, Reply)
Thanks

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 6:05, Reply)
Flidthanks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 9:38, Reply)
Minge

(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 16 Sep 2026, 6:17, Reply)
+ Tits

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 6:18, Reply)
Bumholes*
*pronounced, 'boom hole eh', as in the Spanish
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 16 Sep 2026, 6:43, Reply)

Spanish Canadian
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 8:09, Reply)
+ HOT CANADA SHITPIPE ACTION

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 8:10, Reply)
BIG WET MEAT

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:05, Reply)
FLIDWANK

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 6:49, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 7:37, Reply)
Hi

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 7:44, Reply)
Tips fedora

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 8:03, Reply)
Just the tip?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 11:23, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 10:13, Reply)
Back in London, sucks

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 10:50, Reply)
wheres yur phone

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 10:55, Reply)
i have to check here to make sure you aint dead

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 10:56, Reply)
mini chev

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 10:56, Reply)
bounce :)

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 10:57, Reply)
Lost in Sri Lanka

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 11:00, Reply)
gimp

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 11:00, Reply)
Alright, I was wondering where you were, how long you back for?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 11:33, Reply)
Longest 6 weeks .

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 11:38, Reply)
Yeah London's fucking rubbish mate.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 11:49, Reply)
Who do you think was the real genuis behind the music; Chas, or Dave?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 11:38, Reply)
Both musicians who were held in high regard by their peers, and have played on many more famous recordings than most folk realise.
So I'm going with both.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:01, Reply)
Far more responsible for Eminem's breakthrough than Dr Dre was

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:07, Reply)
Chas gets the majority of the credit for that, unfairly.
Motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dave.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 12:22, Reply)
*cricket applause*

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:09, Reply)
*lacrosse lol*

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 13:13, Reply)
*rowing rofl*

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 15:27, Reply)
aw, Rob's celebrating 25 years of b3ta
by posting on bluesky...
(piss and shit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 18:15, Reply)
He can go fuck himself then

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 18:19, Reply)
in the arse as well

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 18:32, Reply)
Especially the arse

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 22:56, Reply)
Kylie & Jasonzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 9:31, Reply)
I think b3ta is an abstract concept for him now.
He likes milking the nostalgic idea of it, but wouldn't dream of actually touching the place with a bargepole for at least the last half of its existence.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 19:01, Reply)
Yes, celebrating the institution, not the current reality. Seeing elvis post again made me nostalgic.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:17, Reply)
Yet his decisions, directly and indirectly, created the current reality.
We all share the blame/credit [delete as applicable] but his abdication of leadership created the vacuum that led to the current varieties of shitshow which infest the different boards.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:26, Reply)
Actually moderating all the spackery was clearly too much effort.
I was going to say that letting QOTW die was the death knell of the platform but the last half-dozen questions had barely more than a page of answers each so I think most of the people who actually had stories to tell had left by that point anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 15 Sep 2026, 23:12, Reply)
I never even looked at QOTW while this site was a going concern.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 6:09, Reply)
I make that 2p's worth of ham per year, the tight-fisted git.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Sep 2026, 19:44, Reply)
the Rock Steady Crew book I preordered months ago has arrived
So quite frankly rob can eat a dick sandwich for all I care
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 19:58, Reply)
-ock +eady -rew +ook

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:16, Reply)
Got a date with an asian trans goddess on sunday, any advice?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:02, Reply)
Always walk on the side of the pavement adjacent to the road, there is nothing a lady hates more than to be splashed with muddy water by a handsome carriage

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:07, Reply)
Oh obvs, anything a bit more specific?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:08, Reply)
Good manners cost nothing

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:09, Reply)
Keep b3ta a secret then?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:16, Reply)
that's mornings. good mornings cost nothing.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 21:12, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 21:19, Reply)
Except, perhaps, an ugly one?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:26, Reply)
or an under one

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 21:09, Reply)
kill yourself, obviously

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:27, Reply)
Again?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:53, Reply)
until you surpass the number of times you've deleted your account

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 22:08, Reply)
delete your account first, obvs

(piss and shit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:58, Reply)
Again?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 20:59, Reply)
yeah, should have scrolled down before replying

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 22:09, Reply)
Play with the top half

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 23:13, Reply)
Has he nothing else to celebrate?
That's just sad.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 22:56, Reply)
lol like anyone will see it there

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 16 Sep 2026, 20:45, Reply)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 12:31, Reply)
spleesh

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 12:32, Reply)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 12:49, Reply)
innit though

(piss and shit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 13:18, Reply)
Indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 13:32, Reply)
Prove it

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 13:49, Reply)
That was my Latin teacher's catchphrase

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 13:54, Reply)
Cleopatra y/n

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 14:25, Reply)
Ask the cops in the doughnut shops

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 14:36, Reply)
She has a great asp on her

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 14:49, Reply)
I'd bathe her in milk IYKWIM

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 14:50, Reply)
IBYWYDOB

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 14:56, Reply)
-y/n +comin’ at ya

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 15:20, Reply)
Sounds more like a maths teacher thing to say.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Sep 2026, 19:47, Reply)
You posted at 13.49

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 15:24, Reply)
That's just what Big B3ta wants you to think

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 15:47, Reply)
no they didn't

(piss and shit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 16:05, Reply)
They did

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 16:23, Reply)
filthy editing bastard

(piss and shit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 16:43, Reply)
;)

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 16:51, Reply)
ait

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 14:26, Reply)
niyn

(piss and shit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 14:40, Reply)
Sup

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 15:24, Reply)
*PARP*
Good afternoon - has your trapped wind become a burp or a fart yet?
("TEMU Bou", Tue 15 Sep 2026, 17:35, Reply)
It remains a massive pain in my chest

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 18:41, Reply)
Oh shit
😫
("TEMU Bou", Tue 15 Sep 2026, 21:02, Reply)
Candles
Morning all - 17 years today of this parish. Why no candles - am I not paying Rob enough?
(I helped save b3ta! satan_kidney_pie floats like a butterfly, sings like a trout, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 9:58, Reply)
Maybe it's because you've only posted 2 messages on /talk so far
but the complex algorithm and deep analysis has already determined that you finger old ladies out the back of Mecca Bingo for 11p at a time.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 10:22, Reply)

you've only posted 2 messages on /talk so far
but the complex algorithm and deep analysis has already determined that you finger old ladies out the back of Mecca Bingo for 11p at a time. I'm a Londoner that I love London taaaaahn
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:31, Reply)
Dunno who you are but props for your funny handle.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 15 Sep 2026, 10:52, Reply)
Don't objectify other users plz

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:01, Reply)
Objection!

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:04, Reply)
Besides, even if I would, you probably wouldn't.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:09, Reply)
I'm just commenting on his post for candles that some people have funny as fork handles.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:17, Reply)
I think we all know what you meant by "handle" .Yeti
nice penis BTW
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:18, Reply)
thanks bbz.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:46, Reply)
<3

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:46, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:06, Reply)
I think the candles show up the day before the counter hits the 1 year mark, for some reason.
sn0tters can advise. tl;dr: try again in 364 days.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:10, Reply)
because your candle day was yesterday
edit: what he said^^
(piss and shit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:48, Reply)
Bou?

("TEMU Bou", Tue 15 Sep 2026, 21:04, Reply)
morning cock caressers

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 6:15, Reply)
morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 7:20, Reply)
Rolls off the tongue
morning
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 8:16, Reply)
morning wanger warbler

(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Tue 15 Sep 2026, 8:54, Reply)
I saw one of those and reported it to the Ornithologists Society

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 10:06, Reply)
Lol baldmonkey

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 10:06, Reply)
Royal Society for the Protection of Beakers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 11:08, Reply)
said no-one ever

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Sep 2026, 17:26, Reply)

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