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# Not funny or photoshopped in any way.


Just a way to introduce Lazlo Woodbine Junior to you all. Born Monday afternoon at 2lb 2ozs 11 weeks early.

Say hello, Junior, this is b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:13, archived)
# Yaaaaayyyy Hello Junior!


a/s/l?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:14, archived)
# Haha
6 days / Hospital / male
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:16, archived)
# Those karrayyzee scientists

I didn't know that hospital was a gender now.

You must be well tired/chuffed/proud
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:17, archived)
# I'd hate for my gender to be hospital.
Hopefully those postal workers will deliver him alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:18, archived)
# I'm thinking of having gender reassignment to become a hospital.
Not sure I will have the patients for it though.


*awaits spanging*
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:29, archived)
# Hehehe!



(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:40, archived)
# Pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:41, archived)
# *clicks*
Now that's more like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:43, archived)
# brilliant!
(Bluntphilly trying to loose wait, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 1:04, archived)
# indeed


also: congrats Lazlo!
(I helped save b3ta! Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:51, archived)
# His L plate expires tomorrow
We're expecting greatness from him!
Congrats!
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 1:52, archived)
# Hoooray!! Congrats!!
2lbs? I hope everyone including LW jnr is OK. All the best to you all
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:16, archived)
# You do know that posting a picture of your new pet on /board
traditionally means we get to name it?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:16, archived)
# GriMmMMMbarf Rudolph Adolf Sexdolf Anne Pimpsbury

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:19, archived)
# *fills out birth certificate*
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:25, archived)
# Everybody wins

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:33, archived)
# I think my vote is for Pork In Stilton Sauce.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:24, archived)
# I'd call him Stay.
So he'll get confused when you call him: "Come here, Stay."

Oh, and congrats :)
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:38, archived)
# i vote for Clarence Dickwitherington Lickspittle
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:55, archived)
# I think
Horice Maurice Boris Norris would be a nice name.
An congrats to you all.
(Captain Spacker I lick windows, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:01, archived)
# what?
you can't call a child norris, that's just cruel!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:02, archived)
# nice going chief
good luck with the nappies
(I helped save b3ta! Barry the Time Sprout one of your 5-a-day, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:17, archived)
# IT DID SICK
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:19, archived)
# Hello Master Woodbine
and congratulations!
(I helped save b3ta! mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:20, archived)
# OMG!
It's forming!

;) Congrats! *waves at new b3tan*
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:21, archived)
# gratz family woodbine
pull up a kitten little fella :)
(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:21, archived)
# Congrats
ello JR
(whowotme nipple clamps, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:21, archived)
# Awwww
Strength for the little guy, and woo :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:22, archived)
# So beautiful
And sooooo tiny... congratulations.

(Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:22, archived)
# And all your own (well half) work
Congrats
(I helped save b3ta! sepang 's favourite day is, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:23, archived)
# I think his missus would rather frown on him taking that much credit.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:25, archived)
# ^ This
I am about as much responsible as the man who puts the dough into an oven. Mrs Woodbine is the builder, owner and maintainer of both the oven and the pan that the dough is put in.

Not a great analogy I realise.
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:27, archived)
# The baker makes the bread. The oven bakes it.
Errrr...
(I helped save b3ta! sepang 's favourite day is, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:27, archived)
# Double baking bread metaphors there.
Mmm, yeasty.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:29, archived)
# Wow,
haven't mindpissed on that scale for ages.
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:31, archived)
# !!!
The best to you all mate.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:24, archived)
# Congratumalations. Hope all is well.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:25, archived)
# congrats
and seasons greetings to the little person
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:26, archived)
#
bindun

Many congrats! Have a Woo!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:29, archived)
# Yay.
b3ta The Next Generation.
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:32, archived)
# Dammit!
I'm out of hummus . . . C]:0)


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:33, archived)
# You? Never.
In fact I would think that you above all others would appreciate punnage like this:

www.b3ta.com/board/10104679
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:35, archived)
# Yay.... b3ta's breading ;-)
Congrats to you too....
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:15, archived)
# Walter Matthau
(meepmeep is, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:32, archived)
# he looks like a wee baby hellboy with a snorkel
all red like that
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:36, archived)
# His horns are hidden under the little hat.
We had to do that or he would frighten the other babies in neo natal.
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:39, archived)
# yay welcome to b3ta! :)
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:44, archived)
# Awww... thanks Prodge.
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 22:47, archived)
# Awww!......
I'm letting my salad get warm....
Just so I can type congrats...;-)
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:13, archived)
# that's the strangest euphemism i've ever heard
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:16, archived)
# Haha.....
Nothing worse than a wilted limp leaf!!
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:21, archived)
# oh, i don't know
a slug infestation might just be worse
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:22, archived)
# Agreed......
But my salads are man salads.....
Which means mostly pork pie, cold boiled eggs, cheese, cold ham and crisps....... with a bit of green stuff just for garnish!
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:26, archived)
# now that sounds like a good salad!
mine is mostly whatever i've grown, which at the moment means lettuce, new potatoes, radishes and maybe a boiled egg
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:28, archived)
# Lettuce on its own makes a rubbish salad. You want rocket and spinach and dandelion and onion and tomatoes.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:33, archived)
# And cucumber and watercress.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:34, archived)
# yes
but i haven't grown any of those
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:35, archived)
# I daresay you've grown a few dandelions scattered about.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:36, archived)
# probably
but it's a communal garden and some of the neighbours have dogs, so i'm not taking the chance of ruining my salad with pissy dandelions
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:38, archived)
# Grow some crisps and pork pie!!
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:38, archived)
# i can't grow pork pies
but i could make crisps with my lovely potatoes, if only i had some way of frying them
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:42, archived)
# In a frying pan?
Silly idea, I know.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:44, archived)
# i don't have one
i don't eat fried food
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:46, archived)
# Large saucepans would work. Or a wok.
An inch or so of oil in the bottom. Don't let it catch fire.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:56, archived)
# i may try this
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:58, archived)
# The hardest thing would be getting the crisps out, I'd imagine.
You'd have to do them in little batches. I suggest one of them spoons with holes in em that you use to scoop peas and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 0:00, archived)
# i've got one of those spoons
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 0:03, archived)
# THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR MAN?
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 0:06, archived)
# um
a penis?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 0:11, archived)
# I doubt that would be nice deep fried.
Maybe as some form of jerky...
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 0:13, archived)
# pfffff
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 0:21, archived)
# Also...
Carrot, beetroot and parsnip crisps.... for the win...
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:48, archived)
# oooh, yes!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:49, archived)
# And crisps!
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:37, archived)
# I must admit.....
If I were lucky enough to have a garden to be able to grow my own, I'd much prefer what you discribe....but still maybe with the crisps;-)
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:36, archived)
# it's amazing what you can grow
just on your windowsill
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:39, archived)
# I'v managed a masive crop of house dust on mine...
without even trying..!!
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:41, archived)
# the first things i grew
apart from the obligatory mustard and cress in infant school, were carrots and spring onions, in empty 2-litre coke bottles. being in a high-rise made veg growing difficult, but not impossible.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:45, archived)
# I did try herbs......
But they died....
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:51, archived)
# you need to water them
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:55, archived)
# Haha.....
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:58, archived)
#
d'awwwww
11 weeks! blimey.hang in there little fella..giant boobs full of lovely lovely milk await your recovery!

Awesome bong too..get em while they're young! ;)
(ruff secks R.I.P. uncle Jim :(, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:17, archived)
# i like this comment
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:22, archived)
# fuckin cracked me up
(Bluntphilly trying to loose wait, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 1:08, archived)
# Can it be milked?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:29, archived)
# no
but its mother can
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:31, archived)
# Rejoice for new spawnlings!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:30, archived)
# Congratulations
on your noob.

And to junior I say, as I believe is customary round these parts, welcome to B3ta. You'll never leave. Pull up a kitten and shop a chair.
(Mr._Pickles, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:34, archived)
# bless little'un
34 ounces!wow!....he'd fit in your pocket..... :D:D
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:44, archived)
# Baby Baby Baby . . . Congrats to the three of you all !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:54, archived)
# ah
nice, grow up big and strong fella.

wishing you and mrs woodbine all the best.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Sun 27 Jun 2010, 23:59, archived)
# Yay... and it's smoking a Crack pipe.
Congrats
(I helped save b3ta! Flash_Bastard, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 1:35, archived)
# Congratulations Mr. Jangle!
Protip: everything will be super. Chillax.
You've got an eager beaver there. A real handful. Pro fighter. Everyone else better look out.
(I helped save b3ta! I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 4:26, archived)