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#

(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:02, archived)
# A donkey in a canoe!
(I helped save b3ta! The Rabid Ferret of Doom is no longer a badger, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:03, archived)
# again
ME
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:03, archived)
# The lost city of denizens!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:03, archived)
# oooOoooo
^this^
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:11, archived)
# always this
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:15, archived)
# that?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:16, archived)
# YeaYeaYeaYea....
^This
(christopher monkey, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:45, archived)
# Perkin Warbeck's
Magic Newt!!!!!


Please, Mr Jack, Please....!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:03, archived)
# call centre of doom!
(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:03, archived)
# i think i applied for a job there
i had an interview. after walking out feeling proud that i may be getting paid £7.50 ph to answer a phone i walked into a group of people RANTING how much they wish they never got the job here in the first place

:-/
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# * feels your pain brother....*
*feels your pain*!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:15, archived)
#
a one-squirrel zepplin attack
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:03, archived)
# a recording session of Radio 4s "Quote Unquote"
being interrupted by knife wielding midgets
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# I feel inclined to agree with this man....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:05, archived)
# Nigel Rees
Dies in cleaver-slaughter!


Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:05, archived)
# hahaha
wasn't that episode on last week?
(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:07, archived)
# I wish
I have an hour and a half drive to and from work.

the 6pm news followed by comedy is a saving grace, EXCEPT WHEN THAT FUCKING SHIT IS ON!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:08, archived)
# Well, rest easy, Monsieur Saver
Clue is back on Monday!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:09, archived)
# is it, thank god!
mind you, there is some other shit as well at the moment, like that backbencher thing that was on last night, and that other crap about that author.

they are not funny!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:10, archived)
# But, for true horror
Have you soiled your ears with that fucking hideous 'Hudson & Pepperdine' show?


It's akin to eating tortoise scrotum sandwiches.
For ever.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:13, archived)
# I've heard of it, but a bit late for my radio listening
not good then?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:16, archived)
# it's horrible
truly horrible ;)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:19, archived)
# you won't want this then
www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?radio4/hudson
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:20, archived)
# Arrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!
Get that link away from my lovely shiny MacBook!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:31, archived)
# Yes. It's a bit of a waste of a decent time slot. Maybe they won't carry on
now that William Franklin has died.

edit: ah, maybe not.
(I helped save b3ta! brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:09, archived)
# I think not
Peter Jefferson is now doing the readings.
He deputised for WF for most of this most recent series.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:11, archived)
# when you consider some of the excellent shows that have occupied this slot
it makes you wonder what on earth possessed them to make QU
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:11, archived)
# No, that was the one
when no-one mentioned that William Franklyn had died.


/Angry Radio 4 listener blog
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:08, archived)
# me/other b3tan, armed with a fireaxe/chainsaw/double-barreled shotgun, chasing mugatu in his wheelchair
or more nurse sally *wink*
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# The guineapig overlords.
That is all.
(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# ^^this
Guinea pigs FTW!11!!oneetc
(Sartori is moving to Canada, eh?, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:09, archived)
# A badger escaping
over a collapsing rope bridge being chased by sexy squirrel natives with spears
(I helped save b3ta! BrassMonkey PRUNES ARE PLUMS! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:05, archived)
# ^ this
:)
(HoBag (TM) <-- Fookin' legend, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:08, archived)
# A miniature zombie holocaust in the cereal aisle at Sainsbury's.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:05, archived)
# HAHA
wooo I like this one too... some bloody ace suggestions today :D
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:13, archived)
# Police Mobile Rape Camera set up on the M5

a monkey knife fight

tina small
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:05, archived)
# dennis the menace is all grown up
and while walking along the street he bumps into
beryl the peril and minnie the minx (who he hasn't seen
since school) and they are a couple of stone cold foxes!
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:05, archived)
# Dead animals?
(I helped save b3ta! The Rabid Ferret of Doom is no longer a badger, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:16, archived)
# a man
throwing bacon at a balloon, from an elephant
(I helped save b3ta! connor, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:06, archived)
# or
a man throwing bacon at an elephant from the comfort of a balloon.
meanwhile mice with bows and arrows smirk and chuckle behind the elephant's back
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:09, archived)
# Didn't
someone draw that yesterday? Was it not you?

Or am I mad and imagining things?
(Sartori is moving to Canada, eh?, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:09, archived)
# no idea what you're talking about

(I helped save b3ta! connor, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:12, archived)
# Hooray!
I am mad and imagining things in pictorial form :D
(Sartori is moving to Canada, eh?, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:23, archived)
# Quentin Wilson moonwallking to the theme from "Terry and June"!

I'd love that I would. Oh yes.
(Cod Metal King Oh Mr Bellpit, your legs are so swollen!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:07, archived)
# Sylvester Stallone drives a flaming '69 Mustang
through a mushroom cloud
doing a triple-corkscrew
over a ravine full of crocodiles and ninja schoolchildren (with lazers)
into the back of a speeding lorry
which is also on fire
whilst being shot at by EIGHT army helicopters
and maybe a tank
and all of this is punctuated by a witty catchphrase of some description.


*Runs off to hollywood*
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:11, archived)
# Me putting this back in the bank and not giving it to the burly man who has replaced all my windows
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:11, archived)
# Woah
I never knew that much money existed
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:13, archived)
# It's horrible.
It's sitting here next to me and all I can think of is 'three 42" televisions' over and over again. Who needs warmth when you can have three enormous televisions?
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:17, archived)
# there is also the thought
of being pulverised by a large van-driving man with tools and not being pulverised by a large van-driving man with tools
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:19, archived)
# 3 enourmous televisions
probably generate enough heat to compensate for the lack of decent windows
(I helped save b3ta! thistle, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:19, archived)
# not tempted to buy 42
3" tvs instead?
(qdamik, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:27, archived)
# Haha! Yes!
Then I could use a huge lens to beam porn onto the moon.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:36, archived)
# Where exactly do you live?
What's your address?

What time of the day are you in?
(I helped save b3ta! F5 F5 F5 Can't be arsed., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:54, archived)
# Oooh...
that sounds potentially harmful to your health yet wholly satisfying
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:13, archived)
# £7000?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:19, archived)
# 5K
The fifties are in bundles of ten. The only time I've seen more money was when a housemate several year ago was buying a car for £10K and had it in twenties.
Mrs. Bingo wasn't impressed though. She takes that sort of money out of the bank every day, she tells me. Not her's of course. She's a professional thief.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:34, archived)
# what ever you want
as long as its not a girl bring on livestock... cows fields chickens and stuff ...

afternoon :)
(I helped save b3ta! Munky Boy today I am back., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:11, archived)
# Bernard Cribbins
Playing a xylophone whilst bouncing on a space hopper.
(I helped save b3ta! Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:11, archived)
# an aubergine
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:12, archived)
# An invitation to Pizza hut*
Sausage people be damned!

*or suitable eatery alternative
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:12, archived)
# hehe
:P


mumbles something about text messages
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:14, archived)
# *sulks slightly less*
I have no messages from you
WHERE'S MY INVITE SAUSAGE GIRL?!

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:22, archived)
# Ooooh I make Paella cheap
there is no invite because there is no meeting this week :P
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:40, archived)
# I remember seeing that at the time
but didn't comment. I'm glad somebody else noticed.
(I helped save b3ta! Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:43, archived)
# Every time you see spanish food
you will be reminded of me :D
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:48, archived)
# That can't be a bad thing
Miss Wagon.
(I helped save b3ta! Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:53, archived)
# Bernard Manning repeatedly slamming his penis in a sandwich toaster
to the soundtrack of 'ladies night' by kool and the gang.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:14, archived)
# smokey and the bandit
only with squirrels and that.

and art is bandit and one of his eyebrows is the moustache and hes been left with one eyebrow where it should be.
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:15, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:16, archived)
# some antipathy mixed with disdain!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:18, archived)
# HASLET RAPE
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:24, archived)
# Standard 'unimpressed' response?
Jealous of the rest of his work?
(Wize, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 23:14, archived)
# Thalidomide Ninja
versus
Snake with Knees
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:16, archived)
# Fern Britton, naked save for two daubs of whipped cream on her ginormous nipples
trying to coax an erection out of Phillip Schofields withered old cock. His cock is barely visible amongst the wild tufts of greying pubic hair, and despite the persistant attention of Britton, does not look like growing an inch.

However, as it is "Bring Your Child To Work Day", the producer has brought his one year old son in. Said one year old son has created a big nasty shite in his nappy, so the producer gets down to the onerous task of putting on a fresh nappy.

Schofield spies the dirty nappy being removed, the combination of the foul odour and the young boys shitty cock sends him into overdrive, his previously withered penis now throbbing in Brittons hand. The excitement however, is too much, and he prematurely ejaculates into Brittons eyes, rendering her blind. Getting hard again almost instantly, schofield stumbles across the studio, pants round his ankles, and impales the young boys shitty arse with his glistening tool, his passage lubricated by the runny mess surrounding the boys back entry. Schofield and the producer continue to spitroast the young boy for the next three hours. Fern meanwhile, having wiped the spunk from her eyes, settles down to eat a nice chocolate cake.
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:16, archived)
# That's the single most wrong thing I've ever read
*bows* We are not worthy!
(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:18, archived)
# Oh I've written wronger...
www.b3ta.com/board/5878562
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:23, archived)
# Wow.
Just wow.
I would feel so very wrong for laughing at that but I haven't laughed harder at anything in a long, long time.
(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:27, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:42, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
Cocking hell.
I think that might be the most elaborate and foul cartoon time response I have ever read.
Fair play to you sir!
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:30, archived)
# There are hundreds more
equally foul, both from myself and my esteemed tutor, the good Mr Wasp Box.

www.b3ta.com/board/5878562
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:37, archived)
# AAAAAARRH


Shitting christ you are good at these
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:19, archived)
# he had a good teacher

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:21, archived)
# who abused him regulary in the janitors cupboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:30, archived)
# was it abuse
if he enjoyed it?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:42, archived)
# I pretended not to enjoy it
But I dressed provocatively in order to encourage it.

I would go home and wank myself to a foam after every episode of "abuse"
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:45, archived)
# I know
I always followed you and filmed it.
The maths teacher paid a fortune for that footage.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:51, archived)
# I would have thought
Schofield was the sort of guy who'd slick his pubes down with moustache wax rather than go tufty...
(I helped save b3ta! BrassMonkey PRUNES ARE PLUMS! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:20, archived)
# No, he has a pubic area like a grey afro
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:29, archived)
# great ending.

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:20, archived)
# *applauds*
We are not worthy, oh mighty 4dam...
(I helped save b3ta! The Blue Aardvark Unavoidably detained by reality, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:33, archived)
# More Helga!
Helga! Helga! Helga! Helga! Helga! Helga!
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:18, archived)
# Sir Jimmy Saville
is fingering his pet terrapin up the arsepiece, both Jimmy and the terrapin are really loving it, especially when Jimmy gets a second finger up, until the terrapin, who can see the TV through a crack in the doorway, spots footage of Jimmy Tarbuck in a cage suspended above a jungle hammering away at his little old cock.
The sight causes the terrapin's anus to clench hard and poor Sir Jimmy's middle two fingers are snapped clean through.

He immediately phones the Sun.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:18, archived)
# Oh god I'm all spluffed out
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:21, archived)
# hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:25, archived)
# The Super Furry Animals
and the Foo Fighters getting into a barney about who's going to pay the bill at an All-you-can-eat Chinese buffet they've all gone to
IT'S A FUCKING CRAZY SITUATION!
Gruff Rhys is flinging chow mein at Grohl while the rest of them hurl chairs and furniture at the terrified staff. MALARKIES!!!
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:19, archived)
# JEEZUM CROW
^This please.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:22, archived)
# a country girl
turning into a werewolf for all the s&m furries
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:23, archived)
# The Obvious...
An Octopus and Denizens surprising sexy anthromoporphic space something-or-other (with Joos!)
(Baggypants - The Trousered Avenger, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:27, archived)
# Chris Evans
Being fed into a blender!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:35, archived)
#
l

That's supposed to be an "L" with strikethru
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:45, archived)
# Snotted
did comes out my nosey!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 15:51, archived)